"Experience is making mistakes and learning from them"- Bill Ackman

I woke up not knowing where I was. I had just had a nightmare about my accident. An unfortunately common occurrence.

So I had to start the daily routine; sit until my breathing settled and go over the important information:

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy.

Even after a good night's sleep, it feels good to know that I know what's going on in my life. Given how muddled my mind can be on its worst days it can sometimes be a must to just stop and think.

After ten minutes of my morning ritual, I got dressed and walked out of the door to class, running into Hisao along the way.

Class ran at a snail's pace as the day went on.

"Hey Shizune" Hisao asked out of the blue "Where does everyone go after class? I mean, are there clubs that people go to or something?"

While I had never considered asking that question, I was the one that spoke up with his problem "Uh, I don't think she can understand you"

As I had expected, Shizune just stared at him for a moment before tapping on Misha's shoulder with a frown.

Misha turned away from her doodle with a sheepish expression "Ahaha! Sorry Shicchan! Is there something you wanted from me?"

Shizune signed to her, to which Misha said "Oh! I see! Hmm... That's a good question, Hicchan"

Shizune signed something "Oh, that's right! Everyone is encouraged to join a club. A lot of people do so because there isn't really anything else to do. There are also school events, like the festival coming up in a few days. Almost every student in the school tends to help out with it, doing whatever. So, you guys actually transferred in at a busy time. Maybe you can both help out!"

Wait, what?

"Sure" Hisao agreed "What's the festival about?"

Misha froze, then laughed "Wahahaha! I don't know. The truth is it's a local event, and I'm not from this area, so..."

I recognised the next look on her face: the panicked look of an empty mind. She started desperately signing to Shizune, looking for an answer. Shizune, in response, adjusted her glasses in a needlessly fancy manner before replying.

Misha chuckled "Who cares?" she translated at in an unecessarily loud voice. I winced at the sound, as did a few people sitting near us.

"Not so loud" Hisao chastised her.

Shizune signed "Human beings evolve with each new generation! The ideals and beliefs behind a festival will inevitably change with time!"

Misha added with her own quip "Now, it's about delicious fried food and amusing little games that you play to win prizes! Hahahaha!"

The teacher, their patience now worn thin, cleared their throat and hit the board with their pointer, their meaning clear. At least Misha had the sense to shut up after that.

Shizune signed something, which Misha translated in a (thankfully) quieter voice "We are in the middle of class, and should start working" She didn't stop talking though, and spoke some more "That's right! Hicchan, are you asking because you're interested in joining a club?"

I may have imagined it, but I could have sworn that I saw a look pass between the two girls.

"Yeah, I was thinking about it" Hisao said, seemingly oblivious to whatever they were planning.

I that point I looked around to see the dark-haired girl get up and slip out of class without a word. Confused, I looked to the teacher, who had also noticed her leave. Why didn't he say anything? It hadn't looked like she was working with anyone either. No one reacted.

"Kaito?" came Misha's voice (no surprise there) "Are you alright. Is something wrong?"

I didn't get it. A girl just sneaked out and no one noticed? No one thought that was weird?

"No" I answered.

Shizune smiled and signed something to Misha "Do either of you have plans for lunch today?"

"Not really" was Hisao's reply

"Library" I answered.

Misha shared a look and some sign with Shizune, who shrugged her shoulders and signed something else in response. "Okay then," she said "Hisao, do you want to have lunch with us?"

"Sure" he nodded

Shizune smiled, and Misha laughed "Perfect!"

So the three of them left after class together, and I was left alone.

The girl with the dark hair never came back to class. I'm not sure why that stayed in my head. Most other things in the class had left my head, memories evaporating like steam.

I saw the three of them when I got some food from the cafeteria (chicken soup), but I never said anything to them, rather deciding to eat and read a book instead. I had forgotten about going to the library.

When we went back to class, I noticed that the girl with the dark hair had come back, sitting back into her seat without a word, like she had never left.

No one seemed to think it was weird. It frustrated me because I felt like I was the only one who was bothered by it. Even Hisao hadn't seemed to notice. I wanted to ask someone, but I couldn't help but worry about how the others would think. It was a rock and a hard place.

The day ended, and Hisao left with Shizune and Misha. I remembered that I was looking for the library, so off I went.

I went to the second floor, only to find that none of the doors were signposted. A small amount of panic clouded my mind as I walked along the corridors, looking a sign or a hint that one of the identical doors led to the haven I sought.

Taking a risk, I opened a door. It was completely wrong.

There were no books, all there was in the room was a blonde girl drinking tea.

"Hello?" she called out, not facing me.

"Sorry!" I blurted "Wrong room!"

I went to slam the door shut and run when the girl spoke again, her voice simultaneously calming and commanding "It's okay. Come in. Have a seat"

Against my better judgement, I complied, sitting across from her. Her gaze never changed, or even seemed to acknowledge my presence. I think she was blind.

"Are you blind?" the question left me before I had even thought that it might not have been very polite.

She seemed to take the question well "Why yes I am" with a wry smile.

"Sorry" I apologised "That was rude I... I'm um... not very good with this"

"It's quite alright" she smiled, taking a sip of her tea "Would you like some tea?"

A part of me just wanted to leave. To find the library and hide so I didn't screw up again. On the other hand... I really liked tea.

"Okay" I said after a moments deliberation.

So off she went, slowly, carefully but very deliberately making tea. To be honest I was expecting blindness to be a hindrance, but she made it just as quickly as I would have. I guess I should probably revise my way of thinking.

"So," she said as she poured me my tea and sat back down "Are you new to the school?"

I took a sip of the tea. It was good "Yes"

"I'm Lilly Satou. Pleased to meet you"

I felt uncomfortable. I knew it was weird, but her sightless gaze unnerved me. Her polite demeanour was even more offputting. I was certain I was doing something wrong. It was like waiting for a bomb to go off. I would do something rude or offend her somehow and she would angry or snap or something "Uh, Smith Kaito. Kaito Smith" I spoke into my cup, incapable of looking her in the eye.

She nodded "Tell me, Kaito, which room were you looking for?"

"Library" I explained, my voice a little clearer that time.

"Which class are you in?" she asked

"3-3. With... uh..." my mind went blank.

"Mutou?" she suggested

I nodded, only to realise that she couldn't see that "Yeah"

She raised a hand to her mouth and giggled "He's quite a character. I imagine you'll come to like; most do"

We sat there in silence for a while, drinking our tea. Lilly didn't seem to mind the silence, which I liked, but I still felt I was walking on eggshells around her.

I had finished my tea by the time I had worked up my nerve to ask my question "Um, where's the library?"

She finished her tea upon her answer "Come. I'll show you. I need to meet with the librarian anyway. I'll introduce you"

A little surprised by the offer, all I could think of saying was "Okay"

Standing up (she was taller than I expected), Lilly drew a stick from her bag. It was one of those blind-man canes that they use to get around. With her leading, we made it to the library in no time.

The library was a big room, everything crafted from hardwood fron the counters to the bookshelves to the chairs. It was definitely bigger than my old school's library, and it definitely smelled older. I loved it. There weren't that many students present either, so it was quiet which I also liked.

"Yuuko," Lilly called "Are you here?"

Something responded, a loud thud and groan coming from underneath the counter. A second later rose a young woman with red hair, green eyes and glasses.

"Hi, Lilly" The woman said in a pained voice, rubbing the back of your head "How can I help you?"

"Good afternoon" Lilly said "What happened just now? I heard a strange sound"

"It's nothing" she responded "I just hit my head. See, I dropped an eraser under my deask and while I was looking for it a pencil dropped and when I was looking for both of them you came and surprised me"

"Are you alright?" Lilly's voice was full of concern "I'm sorry, I couldn't know-"

"It's okay!" the librarian interuppted her "It's okay. Sorry for making you worry. This is nothing, I've had worse happen to me"

Sheesh, I thought I was a little neurotic.

THe librarian chuckled a little awkwardly, shuffled some papers (which in the silence was also awkwardly loud) before speaking again "Oh, Lilly! Did you get my message?"

Lilly had to think for moment before answering "You mean the two imported books that arrived?"

The librarian flashed her first smile. She actually had a nice smile "Right! Right! They finally came! I can't believe it took so long, but..." she stops speaking as she seems to notice me for the first time.

"Um... Hi"

The librarian yelped as if I had yelled at her "Oh, I'm sorry for not noticing you before! Did you need to check out a book? Or return? I'm sorry!"

My voice fumbles to make a response "Uhh..."

"He's with me" Lilly speaks "Yuuko, this is Kaito, a new student. Kaito, this is Yuuko, the school librarian"

"Hi" I said again

"Kaito" Yuuko says as if she were commiting my name to memory "Right. Kaito. Pleased to meet you, Kaito" she bows in greeting.

"Yuuko often arranges to import foreign books in Braille for me" Lilly said to me, before speaking to Yuuko "Would you like to tell Kaito a little something about the library?"

Yuuko gave her a look of terror, which I could sympathise with "I... Please Lilly, I can't. I don't know what he could be interested in. This is too much responsibility"

I was starting to relate to Yuuko the more I saw her fluster and panic. Not wanting to put her through any more stress, I just said "Books" and left to peruse the aisles.

The library was definitely bigger than it looked at first glance. I was trying to memorise the way I came just so didn't get lost, but I was inevitably lost in the sea of books. I loved to read. I loved words, written words anyway. They were simpler to understand. I was at peace here. A library was a library after all, no matter how much Braille you put into it. Libraries were familiar. Familiar was good.

I eventually found myself in a quiet corner of the library, where I found someone I actually recognised: the dark-haired girl from class. The one that snuck out. She was reading a book, keeping it really close to her face. I found myself drawn to the her.

Finding another beanbag, I sat down and layed all the books I had collected beside it. The girl visibly jumped, looking up at me from underneath her fringe which fell over her face.

Her eyes reminded me of a deer that I once saw. Big, round and absolutely terrified. I found myself subconsciously rubbing the scar on my head. I didn't mean to scare her.

"Sorry!" I quickly said "I didn't mean... Sorry"

"It... It's okay" the girl said

"Can I..." I try and form my question "I mean is it okay I stay, um, sit here?"

She stares at me a little, her expression only relaxing in the slightest way "Oh... Okay"

I gave her a small smile as thanks "I, um... I'm Kaito"

"I... I know" she said "We... are in the same... same class. H-H-Hanako. I'm... Hanako"

I nodded and started to read, only to be sidetracked by a detail on the back of Hanako's hand.

She had scars. Different from mine, maybe burns, like those in the pictures we saw when we were taught about fire saftey in school. I found them mesmerising. Peculiar patterns burned into her skins. I gave her another look, she had similar burns on her face as well, hidden under her fringe.

It's only when she stares into my eyes that I realised I was making her uncomfortable.

"Why did you leave class?" I blurted out the question without thinking.

She stood like she'd been shocked and said "Ivegottogodosomething!" and ran, a full-blown sprint in the direction of the door.

I cursed my blunder and went to go follow, determined to apologise. But by the time I reached the counter she was long gone.

Lilly and Yuuko were still talking, although it seemed that Hisao had arrived and joined the conversation.

"Did you see her?" I asked them in between pants (I was really out of shape).

"Huh?" The three of them turned to look at me.

"A girl" I panted "Did you see her pass?"

"Um, maybe" Yuuko said "What did she look like?"

"Dark hair. Kinda shy. She had burns or something on her face"

Lilly just sighed "You wouldn't be talking about Hanako, would you?"

I nodded "I saw her reading. I... I tried to talk to her but I... I scared her"

"Oh dear" Lilly sighed "Yuuko, would you excuse me, I had better try and find her"

"Sure" Yuuko nodded "I'll just hold on to these until you come back"

"Um," Hisao spoke "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry," Lilly said "But I'll have to explain some other time"

"Right" Hisao looked a little confused, and maybe a little dejected "I'll see you later then"

Lilly quickly grabbed her cane and rushed out the door, leaving us with Yuuko.

"I don't think I'll ever get the hang of this place" Hisao sighed.

"What do you mean?" Yuuko asked

"Everyone here's a little..." Hisao seemed to struggle to find the word

"Different?" I suggested

"Strange?" was Yuuko's

Hisao just shrugged with a defeated exhale. "I don't know how to live here and deal with these people. Forcing myself to act overly casual only makes me feel phony"

I could sort of understand his frustration. I hadn't spent that much time around others with special needs either, but then again I wasn't a very sociable person to begin with. My skills were always lacking.

"It's like..." Hisao continued, making vain gestures with his hands as if they would better explain his problem "It's like I'm meant to ignore the elephant in the room"

Yuuko fidgets a little, as if she wanted to speak, but was nervous to do so. Her voice came quietly, but the words didn't hold any less truth "I think it's only an elephant if you feel that way"

I smiled at her. She was a little wiser than his demeanour would have you believe.

She blushed "What? Did that stupid"

"It was smart" I said

"I guess the problem lies with me then" Hisao calmly admits.

Silence followed, only broken by Yuuko shuffling the papers around on her desk. A oddly relaxing noise.

"Did you find any books?" she asked me "I should be closing soon. I mean this library should be closing, have to do it. I hope that's not too inconvenient for you"

"I, uh..." I looked back to the bookshelf maze, knowing that my books had been left somewhere within. Another day maybe. "No"

Hisao quickly went to get a pile of books. They day was late so we returned to the dorm together.

We ran into Kenji in the corridors, or rather he ran into us. His head darted back and forth, as if he was expecting bad to happen.

"Hey," Hisao spoke "It's just us"

Kenji licked his lips nervously "Who is us? I don't know anyone called us? Are you some new guy again?"

"We met yesterday" Hisao reminded him, sharing a befuddled look with me. My own expression wasn't very different.

"I don't think so," Kenji said adamantly "I would remember someone who I only met yesterday. What day is it?"

"Thursday, I think?" I said. I admittedly had lost track of the days as well.

Kenji ignored me "Prove that we've met before!"

"You live across the hall" Hisao said "You're Kenji"

Kenji jumped back, his look fearful "How do you know my name? Are you a spy?"

Now I was very confused. I was trying to keep up, I honestly was. But I was losing track of the conversation's pulse, and thus interest. So I left, leaving Hisao to deal with Kenji alone.

"Where are you going?" Hisao called after me

"My room" I explained. Then I closed the door.

As I went to bed that night, Hanako's face remained in my mind.

Tomorrow, I said to myself. Tomorrow I'll apologise.