A/N: Hey, sorry for the slow updates. I've just started school this week and I'm trying to finish this year, which is a lot of work. So I'll try to update as much as I can but thank-you all for waiting and sticking with the story! ~KJ99! :)

Flashback

It had been a month since they found Alison body; I was devastated when I heard the news and couldn't believe this was happening. Ever since she disappeared I had just been expecting her to show up out of nowhere with some excuse that we would all laugh at one day, but when her body was found I couldn't believe it. Going to her funeral was weird, I could still feel her in my heart and that she was still alive. I believed with everything in my body that she was still alive out there, scared, alone and just needing for someone to save her. About two weeks after the funeral was when I found Jason sitting on the porch drinking and he had handed me one, from there on he would give me beers. People started to notice I was drinking since I wasn't exactly hiding it, when I turned up to a competition absolutely wasted that's when coach drew the line and kicked me off the team. I knew I should have been hurt but I was too drunk to care. Hanna and Spencer had sort of stuck by me but I knew I was bound to lose them soon, after the funeral Aria's family had left for Iceland and I hadn't heard from her since. One day I was over at Spencer I had a major hang over but I had told Spencer I would come over to study, I wasn't going to but Hanna picked me up which meant I had to go. Laying my head back down on the couch as I let out a deep breath, my head was spinning and I was trying to get it under control.

Hanna asked "Are you okay?"

I replied with "Yeah, my heads just spinning from too much information at once," it was an easy lie; everything was easy to lie about these days.

Spencer then scoffed out "Yeah right," looking at her to see she hadn't meant to say it out loud.

I asked "What's that supposed to mean?"

Spencer answered with "We know about yourself medicating Emily and were not blind, we know how hard it has been for you since Alison."

I said "You have no idea how hard it's been."

Hanna said "Yes we do, we lost a friend to and are all still grieving."

Spencer said "This is the time when we should be pulling yourselves together not pushing each other away."

I replied with "It's a bit hard to do that when Aria is overseas leaving it up and forgetting, when some of us can't forget," my head was pounding out of control.

Hanna said "We'll stop hurting soon and be able to move on."

I scoffed and replied with "You two might but I never will, see I can't forget. I can't forget leaving her after we went for our own little picnic on that day she disappeared, I can't forget because I was there and should have walked her home but I didn't because she had to go shopping for supplies."

Spencer said "Emily, it's not your fault. You could've known what was going to happen; Ali wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

I replied with "I'm not Spencer."

Hanna said "Then what's with all the drinking, getting kicked off the swim team, coming to school drunk or hung over, if that's not you blaming yourself then what is it?"

I shout out "Don't you get it! I am in love with her; she is my soulmate, my one true love!" I felt tears streaming down my face as I shout it at them.

Spencer replied with a question "Did she love you back?"

I answered with "Yes but she was scared, we both were."

Hanna said "She would want you to move on, she would understand it."

I replied with "I can't move on."

Spencer asked "Why?"

I answered with "Because she not dead," it was the first time I had said that out a loud to anyone.

Spencer said "What? Are you crazy?"

Hanna said "We went to her funeral, they found her body."

I replied with "I'm not crazy, I know we did and I know they found a body but it's not her."

Spencer asked "How do you know?"

I replied with "I feel her heart beating along with mine, it hasn't stopped once and I still feel her presents."

Hanna said "You're crazy; you are just grieving like we are."

Spencer said "We all miss her Emily but she gone, you need to accept it and move on."

I shouted "Stop calling me that! I'm not crazy, I know what I feel and it's she alive. I can never move you Spencer eve if I tried."

Spencer's sister Melissa came running into the room saying "I heard shouting."

Spencer replied with "Everything's fine Melissa, Emily just been crazy."

I said with venom in my voice "Stop calling me that."

Hanna replied with "Emily, if you weren't drunk you would see that what you are saying is crazy."

I said "If you lost the one you love, the one that held your heart the tightest you would understand when you can feel their heart beating but you don't know what is like."

Spencer replied with "We don't but Alison is dead and you need accept it."

I said "How many times do I have to say it, she not dead, she alive."

Hanna said "By you believing that it's makes it hard to move on, don't you see it's not true."

I replied with "Hanna I know what's true and what isn't."

Spencer said as Hanna went to argue back "Stop Hanna, it's not worth wasting your breath she not going to believe us; she a drunk now and that's all that matters."

I looked at Spencer in shock as Melissa shouted "Spencer!?"

Spencer replied with "What it's the truth. You know Ali would be disgusted if she knew you were drinking, she would be disappointed in you just like we all are."

I felt more tears roll down my cheek as I said "Band aids come off the truth is reveal, come on Spencer don't hold back. Hanna you got anything to add," I looked at them both daringly.

Hanna replied with "Ali couldn't love you back because she only had an evil soul and heart; there was no good in her it was pure evil."

I chuckled and said "That just means you didn't see the real Ali."

Spencer replied with "We saw the real Ali Emily, it was you who didn't."

I said back "You say Ali would be disappointed, disgusted at me but you two trying to move on like you never knew her that would piss her off more than anything."

Hanna said "May be but at least we aren't going crazy because of her."

I replied with "I'm not crazy, her heart is beating with mine and it hasn't stopped and won't stop until she does actually die."

Spencer shouted out "She dead! Okay here body was found, tests have confirmed that it's her. She is dead! That bitch finally left our lives, we are free of her and now we can move on finally." Everything up until now hadn't hurt but that certainly did, I felt like I had been hit by a truck and was now waiting for the next one.

Hanna said "Ali was a horrible person Emily, everyone agrees expect you but now she is dead, I'm glad because now I am no longer hefty Hanna."

Looking at the two of them before saying "Melissa, can you take me home."

Melissa replied with "What?"

I said "Can you drive me home, I no longer want to be here and I'll never come back here." I heard Melissa move out of the room to grab her keys before coming back in and telling me she was ready.

After packing my stuff up, I walked over to the door just as Spencer shouted out "Emily! Did it ever cross your mind that Alison was playing you."

Looking back I replied with "Yeah it did many times but I saw the way she would look at me and I could tell her heart was beating for me too," and with that I walked out of the house and never to return.

End Flashback

Getting to Ali's house I was dreading it; I didn't want to tell her what happened or make her hate the girls for things they said. When we pulled up to stop out the front of her house, I saw Toby practicing while Jenna practice the flute on the porch.

I asked "Can I go practice with him please?"

Ali replied with "I thought we were going to talk?"

I said "We can do that anytime, please I won't be out for long just until we get tired or it gets dark."

Ali replied with "Fine but you're not getting out of talking," I nodded my head really grateful I could putting it off even longer. I opened the door for Ali and helped her out of the car before jogging off over to where Toby and Jenna house is.

Shouting out "Pass it," Toby looked over his shoulder and smiled before throwing the ball over to me. As it bounced in front of me, I grabbed it and dribbled over to him.

Toby said "Hey Emily."

I replied with "Hey Toby, Jenna," I saw Jenna wave before continuing with her flute practices.

I asked "How can she play it?"

Toby answered with "She gotten down in her head where the pieces are and just knows," I nodded my head but Toby stole the ball from my hands and we got straight into playing one-on-one

Ali's P.O.V

Looking out the window in the living room, I smiled over at the two playing it was good to see Emily happy but I wish she wasn't trying to avoid telling me what happened while I was away. Hearing someone come down the stairs, I looked back to see it was Jason.

He said "Hi, where's Emily?"

I replied with "Playing in the street with Toby," he nodded and went to walk away but I shouted for his name for him to come back.

I asked "Why did you do it? Give Emily the alcohol?" He looked down at his feet moving them back and forward while scratching the back of his head.

He finally replied with "Emily was walking around like a ghost and it didn't take a genius to work out that she need help, at the time I thought I was doing Emily a favour but really I was just making it worse."

I said "What if she had OD, got into a serious accident or something much worse? She would have never had picked up my phone call, she would have never found me and it'd still be there?"

Jason replied with "I know and that thought alone kills me but I was so messed up after they found the body, I barely knew what to do and it seemed good to help Emily like you would have wanted."

I said "I know you were messed up and I get why she needed it but I just can't stop thinking what if she hadn't of picked up her phone that night."

Jason nodded his head and replied with "I'm sorry Ali, I truly am. That's why I left, I realised that wasn't helping her and I took off, so she would have to stop drinking and she did."

I said "Go thing she did, she could have gotten someone else to buy her alcohol."

Jason replied with "In a town like Rosewood I don't think so."

I replied with "I don't think Emily was thing about her rep then," he nodded his head agreeing with me.

I asked "Do you know what happened between her and the girls?"

Jason answered with "I don't know much, I know that once Aria moved to Iceland she didn't call any of them."

I nodded and replied with "That's why she's fallen out with her but I don't know with Spencer and Hanna."

Jason asked "Have you asked her?"

I replied with "No but she didn't really like being at Spencers house, she was all tense and uneasy."

Jason nodded and said "It must've happen there."

I replied with "Yeah they were talking about it, Aria and I were completely confused about it all. Emily said she would tell me when we got home and she is outside playing basketball."

Jason said "Just give her some time; it's like you and what happened. It took you months to open up to Emily and you still haven't with Mum and I. Whatever happened while you were gone, it must be big because I don't know of anything that Emily has kept from you."

I nodded and said "I guess you're right, I'm sorry I haven't told you and Mum yet, it just hard."

Jason replied with "We get it but we are here for you," I nodded my head and looked back out the window to see Emily was talking with Jenna and Toby was nowhere to be seen. I felt Jason wrap his arms around me tightly before kissing the top of my head and leaving to go into the kitchen.

Emily's P.O.V

We had done a couple of drills we would do at training when Toby said he needed to go in and do work on an assignment before his Mum gets home, I nodded my head and told him it was all cool. He rushed inside with the ball, I ran my finger through my sweaty hair and it was just plain gross.

Walking over to the porch where Jenna was sitting cleaning her flute, I asked "What you doing?"

She jumped and said "Emily you scared me, I didn't realise you were still here."

I replied with "Sorry."

Jenna said "It's okay and what I'm doing is I'm cleaning my flute."

I asked "How do you know that you haven't cleaned the same part twice?"

Jenna answered with "I have the flute memorised in my head, just like you have all the basketball plays in your head."

I nodded and replied with "That makes sense."

Jenna asked "Now why are you over here instead of at Ali's house spending time with her?"

I smiled and replied with "There something's Ali wants to know what happened while she was away and I don't really want to tell her."

Jenna said "Any reason why?"

I replied with "She won't like the truth."

Jenna said "Isn't that for her to decided and if she wants to know, doesn't she deserve to know."

I replied with "Well when you put it like that yes, but I don't know how she'll reacted. I know everything about Ali, how she reacts to things, how she deals with information, what she likes and doesn't like, I know everything about her but I don't know how she'll reacted when I tell her the truth about what happened while she was away; fighting to stay alive."

Jenna said "Maybe it's a good thing you don't know but whatever happened she deserve to know. What happened that could be so bad anyway?"

I replied with "You know the story about what happened to Ali right?"

Jenna said "She was disappeared two years ago, a year later they found her body and then another year later you found her alive and breathing."

I replied with "Yeah that's what happened but what you don't know is Ali was really mean person when she was here. Pure evil people would say but Spencer, Aria, Hanna and I were all still friends with her and I was in love with her, I still am. Your probably wondering how I could love someone so mean, well when it was just Ali and I with no one else, her walls came down and all I found was a scared person."

Jenna asked "What was she scared of?"

I answered with "My main guess is her feelings for me another girl, the world finding out and shaming her and when you are that scared of something walls come up and you are defensively mean. I would look at the floor whenever Ali was mean, I knew that wasn't her. That's why I fell in love with her, she showed me the side no one else got to see."

Jenna asked "What about with the other girls, wasn't she nice to them?"

I replied with "No, she wasn't as mean but she still said all these horrible things."

Jenna asked "Why did they stick around her then?"

I replied with "I don't know, it obvious why I stood by her but I never knew why they did."

Jenna asked "What happened to course a drifted between you and the other three?"

I said "I won't go into detail but Aria left after the funeral and got to pretend like she didn't know the girl who died. Spencer, Hanna and I were friends but a lot of things were said that can't be unsaid."

Jenna nodded and replied with "Well it doesn't matter how you feel about the whole situation, at the end of the day Ali deserve to know and she's asking you because you have the answer and she knows you're going to be honest with her."

I said "Yeah I guess you're right."

Jenna smiled and replied with "I know I'm right, girls like Ali did this to me," she pointed to her eyes.

I said "Toby told me, I'm glad Ali wasn't that bad."

Jenna said "I'm just glad she not likes that anymore."

I replied with "Going through what she went is bound to change you."

Jenna said "That it would, not that I know the detail but I can imagine."

I nodded and replied with "Yeah."

Jenna said "Now go home to Ali and tell her or you'll deal with me tomorrow."

I smirked and replied with "That thought terrifies me," Jenna patted around before finding my shoulder and punching it."

I say "Ow that hurt."

Jenna replied with "Good, now go."

Putting my hands up in surrender, I say "Okay, okay I'm going."

Jenna replied with "Good."

I asked while standing up "Do you need help?"

Jenna answered with "No Toby only inside, I have my phone and cane in case but thank-you Emily."

I said "No problem, I'll see you tomorrow at school," Jenna nodded her head and I left down their stairs and jogged home. Walking in through the door, looking to my right into the living room to see Ali sitting on the couch reading her script. She looks up from it and smiles when she sees me.

Walking to the doorframe before leaning against it, I asked "What you doing?"

She held up the script and said "Just going over my lines again."

I nodded my head and replied with "You know that script better than anyone I know."

Ali said "Can never be to prepared."

I replied with "True, I barely know my lines."

Ali said "Emily, we go up in a week."

I smiled and replied with "Hook, line and sinker."

Ali gasped and said "I hate you so much," I smirked and rose my eyebrow up at her.

Ali corrected herself with "Okay, I love you but right now I hate you," I giggled.

I felt arms wrap around me and left me off the ground before Jason's voice said "What do you want me to do with her Ali?"

Ali replied with "Hmm…walking the plank sounds good to me," I gasped shocked before putting my hand on my head and pretend to fainted.

Ali giggled and said "No I think a tickling punishment is needed."

Jason replied with "Your wish is granted," while one hand held me against him the other started to tickle my ribcage and I burst out into fit of laughs.

I shout out "I surrender, I surrender," Jason stopped and looked at Ali who nodded her head and he placed me back down on my feet. He kissed me on the top of my head before running off upstairs, looking back at Ali who was laughing.

I asked "What's so funny?"

Ali replied with "Only you two can go from hating each other to loving each other."

I smiled and said "Just home our relationship works I guess."

Ali nodded and asked "Are you going to tell me?" The tension in the room turned from bubbly and happy to serious really quickly.

I answered with "I don't want to but like Jenna put it, you deserve to know what went on while you weren't here."

Ali said "So does that mean you're going to tell me or not."

I replied with "I'll tell you, I just don't know how you're going to react is all."

Ali nodded and asked "Is it that bad?" I just nodded my head and walked into the room and sat down on the couch across her, I went straight into telling her what happened.

Ali breathed out "They were happy I was gone." I sat there not really knowning what to say, it was a long time ago and I was slowly trying to move on from it.

I answered with "Not happy, just revealed. I mean you were pretty horrible to people Ali.

Ali said "I was to you, but you weren't happy I was dead; were you?"

I replied with "Of course not, I was devastated. The thought of you not being here anymore kills me."

Ali asked "Was I that mean to them, that they were happy or revealed that I wasn't around?"

I shrugged and replied with "I can't really say."

Ali said "Please Emily, just tell me the truth."

I replied with "Okay, yes you were really mean to them. You made Hanna throw up because she was big, you made me feel small and disgusting with how I felt towards you, you made Aria feel weak and you made Spencer feel like she was the terrible person in the world."

Ali said "Why did you all stick by me then?"

I answered with "I can speak for them but I can for myself, I knew there was more to you then this evil person. I was in love with you, still am to this day and that probably confuses people but you show me a side that no one else got to see. Which made me believe there is good in you and now everyone gets to see it."

Ali asked "Are they happy I'm back now?"

I replied with "Honestly I don't know, but I am. My life is whole now, I have a reason to live again because without you; there is no reason for living."

Ali said "I love you Emily Fields."

I responded back with "And I love you Alison DiLaurents," I smiled at her and she smile through the tears that had started to run from her eyes after I told her what happened.

I then say "Don't hold this against the girls; you were horrible to them but now that your back they see what I've always seen in you."

Ali asked "But you do, why can't I?"

I answered with "I was here when it happened, you weren't. You can judge on something that happen while you weren't here, just let them say sorry or something like that and move on."

Ali said "Okay, can you hold me?"

I smiled and replied with "I'd love too," standing up from my seat. Moving across the room to sit on the seat she was on and lay back against the arm rests; as she moved to lie back on top of me.

Ali asked "Are you going to hate them forever?"

I answered with "No, I'm trying very slowly to move on for it all."

Ali said "Good," smiling to myself before leaning forward kissing the top of her head.