I find it hard to remember a morning in which I experienced more pain than the one directly after that. When my eyes finally opened, I had to close them again, almost instantly, because of the shockwave of torture that shook me. From my feet, all the way to my neck, everything simply hurt with a sharp burn. I could barely help groaning out from the experience, attempting to move, and finding myself constrained to a bed.

"Hanji! Oh, dear Gods, you're alive!"

To my right, I heard her voice call out to me, but I was not able to fully process what she had said until the pain began to subside. Gradually, the burning curtailed, and I found myself able to open my eyes without them watering up. When I did, Y'shtola's stormy green eyes met mine, awash with concern, and leaning over me as she stood from the side of the bed. Her usually kept hair was a mess, save her hair cuffs, and even her clothes were stained with blood and oils of some kind.

"Y-Y'shtola… Where am I?"

"Lominsa. We sent you back this morning when I told them you were safe to move. By the Twelve, Seymour, what in all of Eorzea were you doing out there? You showed up at the Tidegate covered in blood, with a poisoned stab wound in your side, and nearly dead! If I hadn't been there, waiting for you…"

"I'd be dead, I know that. Hells, add it to the list of times you've saved my sorry arse. What, are we going on nine times now?"

She looked ready to slap me for a moment, but her annoyance melted away into relief that I had enough life in me to weakly joke. My voice was still raspy and low, but it was enough to convey my thoughts to her.

"Aye, Seymour, this will be the ninth. But, that was not what worried me. You were out for two days, man. For two suns, I stayed here next to you, doing everything in my power to ensure that poison wouldn't do any lasting damage to your body, or your mind. For two suns I stood here, mixing fish oils and mandragora extracts, every kind of medicine imaginable, trying to figure out what would compliment the healing magic best, all while listening to make sure you were still breathing. That night, the night you rode in, I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. I thought I was going to lose you, I swear I thought I was going to-"

"Worrying about me dying is wasted effort, woman. You and I both know that I'm too much of a stubborn bastard to simply keel over and vomit out my blood because of some pretty poison. You shouldn't have been so-"

I was cut short by a solid piece of something hitting the top of my head, sending stars running throughout my field of vision as I nursed the impact zone. To my side, Y'shtola held her cane out, shaking it fiercely at me.

"If you ever say that to me again, I think I'm going to use this cane to hang you as a criminal. I have every right to be worried about you, and the amount of times I have been handy to save your sorry, lollygagging behind has earned me that much, I do think."

"Right , right, ye have been conveniently around whenever I was in a fix. Say, why don't that Boss of yours just assign you to be me personal bodyguard already? Navigator knows we get put on the same mission enough times, and I could use a good partner in crime…"

Y'shtola blushed fiercely, turning around and pacing in a circle slightly as she spoke to me.

"D-don't be ridiculous, Hanji. You know the Scions are conservative with their deployment, and Minfilia isn't wont to be facetious with her choices for assignments."

"Yes, as you told me before. Them Scions of yours tend to be more secretive than they're worth. If you weren't one of 'em, I'd think they were a tribe of warlocks, or the like."

Y'shtola was forthcoming about her work, but still held on to many a secret about what she actually did when she received mission orders from her superior. I knew of the Scions, but nothing about what they did for Eorzea, or who they were. To me, they were simply another name in the game of war nations played with the world.

"Well, you aren't wrong about that. Almost all of us have some sort of affiliation for Magus arts. But, unlike a simple Warlock tribe, we have an actual purpose."

"To save the world…"

"Aye, exactly."

Y'shtola stopped her pacing, and stood in place, facing away from me. Neither of us spoke, possibly contemplating the awkward vicissitudes of our lives, or even each other's.

"Seymour, I need to know. What in the Seven Hells happened that night? You stormed that temple with twenty heavily armed men, and chocobos. How is it possible that you were the only one that made it out alive?"

"How do you know I'm the only one who made it out alive?"

"Please, it's been two suns, no one would be able to last that long on their own out in Sastasha without being torn to bits by Sahagin first."

"Hmm, I see yer' reason, there. Well, I'll tell you how I made it out. I let them all die."

"What?!"

"I'll say it again, I let them all die. The temple we were meant to raid was four times more populated than what we thought. They were all in the middle of some kind of ritual, and when we arrived, they all turned on us. It would have taken another thirty men to subdue that place."

"Good Gods…"

"Aye, it was that bad. Anyways, when the Sergeant and I were cornered, he told me to flee. I tried to resist, but before I could give any kind of meaningful resistance, he forced me onto Ayumi, and set her off. My last glimpse of him was with Axe in hand, charging the horde in front of us. I was a coward, Y'shtola, I fled from a fight that I could have helped win, I could have at least tried, but instead I fled and now they are all rotting away in that Hellhole."

The twinges of panic and terror were coming back, welling up in my throat, covering my vision, blanking and graying out things not directly in front of me. I felt weak, and I felt cold, all over again…

Then, suddenly, it all vanished. Like going from One Hundred to Zero, it all melted away in a second. I looked over to Y'shtola, and she hastily hid something behind her back, likely her healing cane. She knew me well enough to tell when I was hurting, and I knew that much of her, as well. Although, over the years, I tended to experience more physical pain, whereas she was more prone to emotional grief. The way she was able to tell I was in pain, and assuage it, I was then able to see her masked sorrow.

"Something is wrong, Y'shtola, I can see it in your eyes. Tell me."

"What? Oh, nonsense, Seymour, I don't know what you are talking abo-"

"Woman, I would have thought ye were intelligent enough to tell that nothing ye think is hidden from me, I've simply been at it for too long. Now, tell me."

Y'shtola donned a look of rebellion, for a moment or two, but then sighed with her defeat, and shuffled over to me, and sat down on the bed.

"Do you really want to know, Seymour? I'm not sure I can tell you in the right way…"

"I don't care. Tell me whichever damned way ye like, I just want to know what troubles you."

She looked into my eyes, not saying anything yet. Then, she looked down at the floor, and whispered to me.

"I was wrong..."

"What? Seak up, I can hardly hear-"

"I WAS WRONG, SEYMOUR!"

Those feelings I had detected erupted from Y'shtola, drowning her in tears and sobs, leaving her shuddering on my chest, uttering muffled groans of disgust and despair. I had never seen her in such a state before, and it terrified me to no end. She had always been the stalwart, the one who kept a level head, never panicking, and always even-headed. To see her broken down in front of me, bawling, was a completely new realm.

She had been wrong. Never, in the years I had known her, had Y'shtola ever been wrong, about anything. Her data was infallible, the best of the best, the reason she was the official spymaster of the Scions. For her to be wrong… I can only imagine what could have happened.

"How… How in the bloody hell did that happen?"

"In the most idiotic, primal way possible; Blind pride and sheer arrogance. I conducted a reconnaissance mission to the Elbst nest the Commander and I were to infiltrate... In the time I visited, it was deserted, not even a single patrol present. The nests were left open for sabotage, and it looked a simple operation. Instinct told me to remain until night and inspect their night-time operations, but I went against my gut, and left after a brief overview of the place. I thought it was an easy catch...In the middle of my lust for battle, I failed to realize that the Fishbacks were in the middle of mating season. They do not go outside during the day, and are most active during the night.

"So you're saying you didn't complete your mission?"

"In a way, yes. I skimped out on details, and he paid the price…"

"... He?"

"Oh, Gods, you haven't heard yet. Damnit, I was hoping it wouldn't happen like this…"

"What wouldn't happen? Tell me what's going on?"

She took a deep breath, and composed herself slightly before continuing.

"This morning, Commander Railog Bro'Welsin was laid to rest at sea. He was commemorated for his years of service by the Admiral herself, and placed in the halls of the Maelstrom's deceased Honor Guard."

Railog… Dead. The two words couldn't appear correct when placed in the same sentence. I had always imagined the man going to battle with Leviathan, nothing but an axe in his hand, and bringing the thing down, triumphant. It felt fake, him being gone.

"How… How did he die, Y'shtola?"

"With an Axe in the body of a Sahagin Chief, covering my escape. He gave his life to ensure I could carry word of the Sahagin's numbers back to central command. Heh… Isn't that hilarious, Seymour? We both are alive today because someone offered themselves in sacrifice to keep us that way…"

"Wait, wait, just a second here. For years, you have been the frontrunner of this here nation's intelligence fleet, and now , just like that, you're si-"

"The past is irrelevant, Seymour. What matters now is that I let Railog die, without even trying to fight alongside him! I could have saved him, could have brought him back, I could have…"

"Done nothing besides what you did. You listened to the Commander, and you saved yourself. He would not have told you to do so unless he knew that you were still needed here. The same… Applies to me, now that I think on the matter."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the dead do not feel anger, not towards, you, and maybe even not towards me. Countless men have been spared by your work, and I cannot say with honest reason that anyone would hold this single incident against your perfect career."

"No, you don't understand, this changes everything, I threw away innocent lives to save my own, it goes against every single principle I have ever upheld, it-"

I couldn't stand much more of her moral rambling. With whatever strength I could gather, I broke free of the blankets that surrounded me, and caught her in my embrace. I set my mouth next to her ears, and I whispered gently.

"Ye cannot be blamed for the unavoidable consequence of war. I will say this only one more time, so listen carefully, Savvy? Railog trusted you more than his own Axe, and saw saving you as his last worthy act in this life. He saw you as a chance for one less person to die, and took that chance. He wanted you to live for a reason."

I stopped momentarily, regaining my breath, and bettering my grasp on Y'shtola.

"He wanted you to avenge his death. He chose you to give his end closure. Now, no more of this remorse, and think to the future. Railog gave you the gift of Life..."

With those words, my embrace slipped, my strength all but gone. I fell back onto the pillows behind me, and looked up at her face. She wore a serene facade, one that seemed at once both at odds and at peace with the world.

"What will you do with his gift, Y'shtola? What will make your life worth living?"

I saw her smile, and fiddle with her hair cuffs for a moment. Then, she quickly bent down to my face, and planted a kiss on my lips. She moved back only a finger's length, and whispered,

"You will, as usual, my love."

With the last of my fading consciousness, I remember another kiss gracing my mouth, this one longer than the first. I was most certainly the smooth talker of the two of us, but in that moment, she could have been classified under 'silky' in my books.

Hi, all, Hanji here. Hopefully you are all beginning to get a feel for how this story is going to play out, even just a little bit. I need to start playing FFXIV again to become re-acclimated with the 1.0 story and lore, so expect a few lore based errors until really get back into it. The next chapter will be the first *new* chapter in this series in over a year, and the continuation of the story I originally thought out almost two years ago! Time flies.

Hope you all are doing well, and Cheers, as always.