AN: First off, I need to thank Marys for talking me through the next couple of chapters. She was a HUGE help. Secondly, this one is a little angst, as have the last couple been? I'm not even sorry, because I'm trying to keep it as real as possible. So, hopefully no one is too mad at me. Also, I was planning on this taking A LOT longer than a day. Who knows? Maybe the next one will be just as quick? Please let me know how much you love/hate me. Thanks!

Andy took the walk to Sam's apartment slowly. It was unseasonably warm and she was starting to sweat in her parka and beanie. The streets on the way to his place were free of snow for the first time in weeks and she reveled in the sound of tires on the road—no snow, no puddles, smooth driving. When she finally reached his street, she looked ahead and saw that Oliver's car wasn't on the street where it normally was. Sam had told her that, ever since he started seeing Celery, that he hadn't been around much. She wouldn't know for herself because she had been in her "finals hibernation" as Sam called it.

But, her finals ended the day before. She saw Sam at the bar, but it was her and her friends' last night on campus so she insisted on going back to the dorm. He didn't seem to mind, he just nodded and kissed her before getting into his truck. It was supposed to be her last night on campus and she was supposed to be staying the night at Sam's. She changed her plans, though, and she was just on her way to tell him.

When she finally got inside his building, she could hear Boo barking playfully and she smiled. She made it to his door and knocked and Boo's barks became for defensive. That is, until Sam opened the door—out of breath—and Boo came running toward her. "Hey," Sam said, smiling as he wiped his hand over his jaw. "I thought I was picking you up later?"

"I know," she nodded, walking inside. She bent down to run her hands through the fur on Boo's head and let him lick her face a couple of times. "Hi, Boo. I missed you," she cooed and he sat down and put his paw on her knee. She smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. She grabbed a ball that was lying next to her and tossed it across the room so he would go after it and she wouldn't feel bad about focusing her attention on Sam instead.

"What's up?" He asked, leaning against his kitchen table. She sat in the chair next to him and pulled off her hat.

"My travel plans changed," she explained and he sighed before squatting next to her, his hands wrapping around her thigh to keep him steady. She ran her hand through his hair and kissed him quickly. "And I don't think it's a great idea for you to meet my dad when he gets here."

His grip tightened on her for a second before loosening again and she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Is everything okay?" He asked and she laughed humorlessly and shrugged. "What's wrong, McNally?"

"The last two weeks have been… Weird," she explained and he sighed. Her eyes narrowed and he raised his eyebrows for her to continue. "We both went through finals and, you know, is still on both of our minds."

"I thought- I thought we talked about that," he said, standing up and her hand fell. He sat down in the chair across from her and folded his hands together. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head, trying to remember if they had talked about it. "I need time to process things."

"Sam, it's been two weeks," she reminded him and before he could argue with her she held up a hand and talked first. "I don't care if you tell me you love me, honestly. That's not what this is about."

When the word love came out of her mouth, he looked down and he was still looking down when he decided to talk. "Then what is it about, Andy?" He asked. She sighed and he slowly looked up from his hands to zero in on her eyes.

"You said you needed time to process things, but I don't know if you are processing things," she admitted and watched as he rested his forehead on his fist. "I love you and-"

"I know," he said and she felt like he stung her with the harshness behind his words.

"Okay," she said, just as harshly, and he finally picked his head up to look at her again. "Like I said, I don't need you to say it back. I can't force that from you. And I know you care about me and it's enough. For now."

"What are you saying?" He asked, his shoulders rising before falling with a deep breath.

"I'm just saying," she started and then shook her head as if that would focus her thoughts. "I'm just saying that you've had two weeks to process how I feel about you. If you don't love me, fine, maybe you'll get there some day. But, right now? Right now, I think there's a chance you'll never feel this way about me."

"I-" he sighed and stood up walking around the table, holding his hand out for her. She looked at it skeptically before putting her palm in his. She let him pull her to stand with him and when his hands landed on her face she sighed contentedly and fisted his shirt at his waist. "If you leave, what does that mean?" He asked and she smile at him.

"It just means I'm giving you more time to process," she promised and he narrowed his eyes at her, confused. "It doesn't have to mean anything. I'm not breaking up with you. I don't want you to break up with me. I love you, Sam," she insisted and he nodded, licking his lips. "Just figure out if you want me around long enough to feel the same. Even if you never say it, I know you're capable of feeling it."

"I don't know if I am, Andy," he admitted sadly and she smiled before standing tall to press a soft kiss to his lips. He held her face tighter, keeping her there, and her palms flattened against his chest to push him back slightly.

"I believe in you," she told him and he took a deep breath and kissed her again. "And if you want to talk about what might be holding you back, I'm just a phone call and an hour and a half away. Got it?"

"Yeah, McNally," he smiled, resting his forehead against hers. "I got it."

"Good."

Andy ran her arms around her neck and pressed her body against his and her face in his neck. "Will I see you at Jerry's on New Year's?" He asked as she tangled her fingers in his hair. His arms tightened around her waist and she pressed a kiss to his pulse point.

"I think so," she whispered and he nodded against her. "I have to go. My dad's on his way."

"We'll talk," he promised when she pulled away and she nodded hopefully. "Have fun at home."

"Thanks," she smiled and kissed him one last time before stepping back out of his reach. "Tell Oliver I said bye, okay?"

"I will."

"Bye, Sam. See you soon."

"Bye, McNally."

After Andy left, Sam sat alone in his living room. Well, not completely alone. Boo was asleep on the couch next to him. His face was curled into his body as his back ran the length of Sam's thigh—like he knew Sam needed the comfort. Dogs were perceptive that way. Boo was, at least. When Oliver came in, he was whistling and Sam could practically feel the glee permeating off of him.

"Hey ya, Brother," he said and Sam rolled his eyes before turning his head toward his quasi roommate. "When's McNally coming over? I'll get out of your hair tonight if you know what I mean," he said with a wink when he came out of the refrigerator with a beer. "What's wrong with your face?" He asked, twirling his fingers toward Sam's face.

"McNally left," he told her and Oliver's face fell. He sat down on the arm of the couch and looked down at Sam expectantly. Sam took a deep breath and bit the inside of his cheek before explaining. "She's giving me more time to process my feelings. She doesn't care, apparently, if I ever tell her I love her. She just wants me to… I don't know. Figure out if I ever can."

"She's a smart girl," Oliver said, looking into his beer. "Can read you like a book, huh?"

"Yeah," he sighed, resting against the back of his couch. Boo woke up and jumped off the couch, heading for his water, and Oliver sat next to him. "I'm not sure I'm crazy about it, man."

"You should be," Oliver told him and they looked at each other. "Zoe never saw me very deeply, you know? She didn't really seem to care. And, honestly, I didn't either. I knew her as far as I could see her. But, you and McNally? Sammy, that's something most people dream of. And you've practically just met her. Hold onto that."

"I don't hold onto things, Oliver. Things don't hold onto me."

"Oh, please," Oliver laughed. "You have been stuck with me and Jerry for six years, okay? I know it's not a romantic thing, but those are still real relationships. Real relationships that you value. Even if you won't admit it. Why is it so hard to do the same with a girl you clearly care about?"

"She knows I care about her, Oliver," Sam told him. "That's not the problem. The problem is more. I've never done more. I don't know how to do more. I don't know if I want to do more."

"Well, then you're dumber than even I thought," Oliver told him, clapping him on the back. "Want to order a pizza? Get your mind off of McNally long enough for you realize what you could potentially be missing?"

"Pizza sounds good," Sam nodded and Oliver pulled out his phone to place the order.

He listened to his best friend talking to the pizza guy and he looked back at his door as if that would will Andy to come back inside. She was probably back at her room already, her dad might even be there. He didn't know and he wouldn't know anything until he made the decision to call her. He didn't know if he would, though, because as much faith as she and Oliver had in him, he had none.

Growing up with his dad, being in the relationships he had been in, Sam didn't see love. He didn't feel it. His father was abusive and a criminal. His past girlfriends were all people he could do without. He never had to see them. He did have to admit that things were different with Andy and he had been very vocal about that. She wasn't any of the other girls that he had dated or slept with. She was McNally and she made him feel something. But Sam wasn't the kind of guy to know himself enough to know what that something was. If he couldn't know himself, he couldn't love himself. And if he couldn't even love himself, how could she? How could he love her?

When Andy got home to Toronto, her father finally asked the question she had been dreading since she got in his car. "Why'd you want to come home a day early?" He asked as they sat down at the table with a pizza between them.

"I just didn't have much to do. My roommates and the boys left this morning," she shrugged, picking the mushrooms off her slice.

"What about the boyfriend?" Andy swallowed and popped the mushroom in her mouth before looking at her dad. "You break up?"

"No," she answered honestly. "We didn't have real plans and his friend is still living with him, so I don't really like being in the way. I said goodbye to him before you picked me up. I'll probably go back to spend New Year's with him. There's a party at Traci's boyfriend's house. And he's best friends with Sam."

"Things are okay with you two, though?" He asked carefully and Andy tilted her head to the side with a small smile.

"Things are good, dad," she promised. She believed it, too. Things were good and would only get better. "You'll meet him soon."

"I hope he's prepared," he said with a teasing smile and Andy laughed with a nod.

She spent the night with her dad. After pizza, they got comfortable on the couch and watched a couple of their favorite movies. Andy felt safe with her dad's arm around her shoulders while they shared a blanket. Every time she had a quiet night in, just the two of them, she realized how much she didn't need her mother. Sure, it would be nice to have her around during middle school and high school, but Claire wasn't a part of her story anymore. She had her dad and she barely remembered her mom.

She was always mad at her mother for walking out on them. She blamed her father's drinking on it and the fact that she was responsible for taking care of everything that came along with it. Her mother had no idea what she was leaving her twelve year old daughter with. But, when things were good, Andy knew that her father was more than just the bottle. He was a father, a damn good one. He was at every basketball game and gymnastics meet—cheering the loudest. He did the job of two people and that's why, she justified, he drank the way he did.

As their second movie ended, Andy sat up and stretched her arms above her head. "I'm going to bed. What about you?" She asked and he looked at her with careful, guarded eyes.

"I was, uh, thinking about heading out," he told her and her arms fell. "Just for a little while."

"Just because I'm home now doesn't mean I'm here to pick you up when you drink too much," she warned him and he nodded. "Please be careful, okay?"

"One drink," he promised and she rolled her eyes. "I promise, kid."

"I hope you're right," she said, kissing him on the cheek. He nodded and left after grabbing his jacket.

So much for that AA meeting they went to together. She knew one meeting wouldn't fix him, but she thought it would, at least, open his eyes. But, it was her first night home and he left her alone to go out to a bar. Some things don't change, no matter how much you want them to.

As she heard her dad pull out of the driveway, her phone rang from its charging spot in the kitchen. She kicked the blanket off of her and ran to the ringing. "Hello?" She answered, pushing herself onto the counter.

"Hey," Traci said. "How'd it go with Sam?"

"I don't know, Trace," she said, pulling her feet up on the counter one at a time. "I think it went okay. I guess we'll see."

"I just talked to Jerry and he's on his way to hang out with him and Oliver. All I know is there will be drinking and possibly some weird karate movie that they love."

"The Karate Kid," Andy laughed. "It's one of Sam's favorites."

"Huh, Jerry's too apparently," Traci said and Andy could hear the smile in her voice. "How's your dad?"

"Just left to get a drink," she shared. "He promised just one, but I've heard that before."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Andy. I hope he's telling the truth."

"Me too," Andy said, smiling sadly to herself. "How is it at home?"

"Weird. It's weird, right?"

"It is," Andy laughed. "I talked to Dov earlier and he said the same thing."

"It's like it's not home anymore," Traci explained and Andy nodded alone in her kitchen. "That's kind of sad."

"Yeah, but we have a new home," she reminded her brightly. "With each other and Gail and all those stupid, awesome boys."

"I do like our new home."