AN: This one is a little shorter than what I've been posting lately. I'm also not crazy about it. But it gets the job done, so it'll have to do. I'm well on my way on the next one (which I'm excited about), so that won't take too long to get up. I never thought I'd be apologizing for taking two whole days to update, but I've been on a role and really did want to get this up yesterday. So, sorry! Also, since I'm not 100% satisfied, you might not be either. Sorry for that, too. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it to some degree and I look forward to feedback (I LOVE FEEDBACK)
Christmas with the Swareks was uneventful, but Sam still felt compelled to go home and visit his sister and mom. Well, not home. He'd never actually lived in their house in St. Catharines. His home wasn't theirs anymore. Hadn't been since his dad went off to jail when Sam was sixteen. His second time in jail at the time. Jay Swarek was a lifer, now, though. He went in right before Sam left for college and had never—would never—see the outside world again. Sam was okay with that. Sam loved that.
His mother was far better off without his father, so was his sister—though, Sarah didn't realize and would never admit to as much. So, when she crept down the stairs on Christmas night, long after their mother had gone to bed, he wasn't surprised to see her with an overnight bag and her car keys. "Where are you going?" He asked from his spot on the couch and she jumped, a hand rising to her chest.
"You know where I'm going," she said after a minute of getting her breathing back to normal.
"Why?" Sam asked, standing up. He crossed his arms over his chest and she mirrored his pose. The Swareks were a stubborn bunch. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"
"He's my father," she said, standing taller. "And I'm going to be there tomorrow because I couldn't be there today. He deserves to see some family during the holidays."
"He really doesn't, Square," he argued and she rolled her eyes at the childhood nickname.
"I know you have your problems with dad, Sam," she sighed, her defenses falling just a little. "But that's why you're not going. I am. And it's none of your business."
"What about Mom?" He asked and her eyes fell. "Is it her business? Is that why you sneak out every year?"
"She's better off not knowing where I'm going," she said quietly.
"She'd be even better off if you didn't go at all."
"Well, that's not going to happen," she smiled tightly. She crossed the living room and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "You'll be gone before I get back tomorrow. Drive safely and good luck with your classes. Give Boo a kiss for me."
"I will," he promised and her smile loosened. "You drive safely, too."
"Thanks, Sammy."
"Bye, Square."
And she was gone. Just like she always was at that time. He was usually asleep in the guest bedroom when she left, but he stayed up later than usual, thinking about Andy. He hadn't spoken to her since she left his place a week before. They'd texted—a good morning and goodnight everyday—but they hadn't had an actual conversation. He missed her. More than he thought he would. More than he wanted to admit. And when he texted her that night, right around 11, and said that he'd see her in a week and he couldn't wait, she didn't type anything back. Maybe she'd fallen asleep. Maybe she was dealing with her dad. But, whatever the reason, it felt like a bad sign. Was he losing her already?
The day after Christmas, Andy read the text message from Sam. She smiled at the words and sent him a quick note—a simple smiley face. In the week they had been separated, things between them almost ceased to exist. Two texts a day. That was it. She was a little worried it was out of habit at that point. Then, with the text he sent the night before, it signaled good news. She wanted that good news. She wanted to see him, to touch him. She really just wanted him. In any form, in all forms.
Her father came grumbling down the steps, whining about having to go to work with a headache. She laughed darkly at his protest. It was his own fault, after all. She'd woken up in the middle of the night and could hear ice clinking against a glass. So, she took the stairs down to the kitchen, one by one, very quietly, and found him hunched over the table as he poured the last of his bottle into his glass. It didn't take more than two seconds for her to turn around and take the stairs back to her room. She felt no shame when she slammed the door behind her, either. He deserved to know what she saw. He deserved to know how it made her feel.
As soon as he came into the kitchen, she left her half eaten bagel and stormed past him. On her way to the door, she grabbed her jacket and threw it on. She was out the door without a word to her father and she was determined not to return until he was gone for work. Without a car, or Sam and his truck, she walked toward the city. It was still early, so she was surprised when she passed Tanner's house to see him and Mike walking out their door. She wasn't sure if she should stop and say hi or just keep walking with her head down. Mike made that choice for her.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Andy McNally," he said and she rolled her eyes. They saw each other at school all of the time, why did he make it sound like it had been ages since he laid eyes on her?
"Hi Tanner," she said, ignoring his older brother altogether. "How've you been? How's school?"
With a sharp laugh from Mike, Tanner shoved him and jogged to the end of their lawn to talk to Andy one on one. "Good, everything's great. I love school," he said, his smile as perfect as it always was—straight, white teeth, thin, pink lips. "How are you? I hear you've been hanging out with my idiot brother."
"Not by choice," she laughed. "He lives with a friend of mine. We cross paths from time to time," she shrugged.
"Your friends with his roommate?" Tanner asked, his voice getting higher pitched with excitement. "So, you're going to his party on New Year's?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "Jerry's dating my best friend and I'm dating his. I kind of have to go," she smiled and Tanner nodded slowly. She wondered if it was weird to bring up Sam to her ex-boyfriend. "Wait, does that mean you're going?"
"Oh, yeah," he nodded again, this time more excitedly. "I'm driving him up there now, but I'll be back tonight. Me and Matty are going out for some drinks. I think Tiff and Laura are coming. You should come with us!"
Andy smiled at all of her high school friends' names and realized how much she missed her new friends. Her real friends? "Maybe. It depends on, you know, my d-"
"Your dad, right," Tanner nodded. When they dated for those two years, he got to know Tommy McNally pretty well. "Let one of us know. I think we're going to McGee's."
"Okay," she smiled. "If Jerry's around when you drop your brother off, tell him I said hi."
"Will do."
When Sam got back to school, he went straight to Jerry's. He and Oliver had been there all morning, brewing beer with the kit Jerry's mom got him for Christmas. The place smelled terrible and also very inviting when he got inside. He shed his jacket and tossed it on the pool table on the way to the kitchen. His friends were sitting around the table while the beginning of the beer cooled on the stove.
"Do you know we can't drink this stuff for weeks?" Oliver asked, looking up at Sam before glaring at Jerry. "Weeks."
"Yeah, buddy, it needs to do its thing," Jerry said, his hands gesturing toward the pot. Sam sat next to Oliver and patted his back a few times.
"Hey, brother," he said, putting the instructions down. "How'd Christmas at home go?"
"Presents, lunch, White Christmas, and dinner. Same as always," Sam shrugged. "But good. My mom's good."
"Great," Oliver said with a smile and Sam felt himself smiling back. "And McNally? How's she doing back in the big, bad city?"
"Good," he nodded, even though he wasn't sure that was 100% true.
"Is she going to be happy when she gets back?" Jerry asked pointedly and Sam shrugged.
"Hope so," he answered. He wasn't ready to lose her. That much, he knew. He was sure he could convince her to hang around a little while longer while he continued to move toward understanding the depth of his feelings. When his mother told him she loved him that morning, he accepted it so willingly and said it back with no hesitation. Could it really be that easy?
"I'm back bitches."
Sam and his friends looked up to see Mike and his identical little brother—same blonde hair, same blue eyes—enter the kitchen from the back door. Andy had a thing for blondes, apparently. Well, until Sam came into the picture, at least.
"Hey, Mikey," Jerry said, eyeing the little brother. "Who's this?"
"My brother, Tanner," he answered as his arm fell over his brother's shoulders. "T, this is Jerry, Oliver, and Sam."
"Jerry?" Tanner asked and Jerry nodded. "Andy McNally says hi."
"Oh, would you look at that?" Jerry asked with a laugh pointed at Sam. "I got a personalized message from your girlfriend."
Mike laughed and left them alone with his little brother. His face looked pale when he realized who Sam was and how he didn't have a message for him.
"I don't live here," he reminded Jerry before his eyes fell on Tanner again. "You saw her this morning?"
"Uh, yeah," he said uncertainly and Jerry and Oliver held in their laughs while Sam looked at the kid. "We live on the same street."
"Cool," Sam said with a tight smile. They all watched as the skinny freshman booked it out of the kitchen in his brother's wake. "Was it just me or did that kid really think I was going to beat his ass for talking to my girlfriend?"
"No," Oliver laughed. "He definitely thought you were going to kill him."
"If he's anything like Mike, he's afraid of his own shadow," Jerry told them. "That kid is all talk. I bet the little one is, too."
"I'm a reasonable guy, Barber," Sam reminded him. "He and McNally have been friends forever. I don't care that they used to date."
"You're a good man, Sam Swarek," Oliver told him and he rolled his eyes. "Too bad you can't tell her how you feel. Then, you'd be the whole damn package."
"Are you sure you're happy with Celery, Ollie?" Jerry asked. "Sounds like you want to date Sammy over there."
"Alas, my heart is spoken for."
"You've known her for, what? Two weeks? And your heart is spoken for?" Sam asked skeptically and Oliver smiled wide.
"When you know, you know," he insisted and Sam nodded. "And you know."
Sam rolled his head back and forth before nodding. Maybe he did know and maybe it was time to admit it.
The night before New Year's Eve, Andy paced her kitchen while her fingers dialed her father's number for the hundredth time. And, for the hundredth time, it went straight to voicemail.
Before he left to go off drinking again, the two of them got into a fight. She told him how sick of it she was, how she couldn't live her life in worry anymore. He told her that she'd forget about him and his problems the second she got back to school and left him there alone. That's when things got heated. She told him how she never once forgot about him or his problems. She told him that while she was out drinking with friends, her mind always wandered back to who was taking care of him while he drank. She reminded him that she was the child and she wasn't equipped to take care of him. He stormed out.
That was hours ago. She woke up at around 1:00 Am to find him still gone and called him immediately, but to no avail. She heard a key in the door and booked it to confront her father—or carry him to bed if he needed it. She fell back a little, though, when she saw him being held up by Tanner. "Hey," he said with a sheepish smile. "I ran into your dad."
"I see that," she sighed, crossing her arms. "I'm so sorry about this, Tanner."
"Andy, it's fine," he insisted, looking up the steps. "I'll put him in bed and be right down."
"I'll make you some tea," she smiled and he returned it before hoisting her father up the steps slowly.
It wasn't new to Tanner to help her with her father. They'd been friends forever, plus they dated for two years. If she was home alone and got a call from one of the bars her dad frequented, she'd walk to Tanner's and wake him up. He was always quick to agree to help and give her a ride. Even during the summer, after they had broken up, she still depended on him from time to time. They were friends first, after all.
Andy waited in the kitchen as the water started to heat on the stove. She could hear her father's shoes falling to the floor as Tanner peeled them off. Then, she heard his light footsteps come down the stairs and head straight for her. She steeled herself for whatever was about to happen—whatever judgment or sympathy would come her way.
"He's out," Tanner said, pushing the sleeves of his button down up to his elbows. "Just give him a glass of water before you go to bed."
She nodded, well aware of how to take care of her father, and he sat at the small table. "Thank you, Tanner. Seriously."
"That's what friends are for," he smiled and she nodded as the kettle blew. She poured them both cups and sat across from him. "Is he still working?"
"Yeah, for now, at least," she said, resting her chin in her palm. "Ronnie's trying to keep him straight on the job. It seems to be working."
"Good," he nodded. "That's great."
"We got into a fight," she admitted quietly and he nodded.
"He's always the worst after a fight," he remembered and it was her turn to nod. "It's not fair, you know? You don't deserve this."
"Neither do you," she laughed. "We broke up, you shouldn't have to keep doing this for me."
"Friends," he reminded her with a smile. "Speaking of friends, you want to go to Mikey's party with me? I don't want to make the drive alone."
"Yeah," she nodded. That actually saved her the bus fare and the bus in general. "That's really nice of you. Thanks."
"No problem," he shrugged. "I met your boyfriend the other day, by the way. He's a scary guy," he laughed. Andy could see he didn't think it was funny. She did, though.
"Sam is far from scary," she told him. "You're afraid of anyone who's bigger than you," she laughed. "You always have been."
"That's not true," he insisted before breaking out in a laugh. "Okay, maybe a little. He's good to you, though? You like him?"
"I love him," she said quietly and Tanner's eyes widened at the sincerity. "He's good to me. He cares about me a lot."
"Good," he smiled and she returned. He finished off his tea and stood up. "I should go. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Thanks again, T," she said, standing with him to take his cup out of his hand. "For everything."
"My pleasure," he said with a small, mock bow. "Good night."