I've been thinking of this chapter for a long time now and today feels like the right time to put it together. Hope ya'll like it and I hope it's as awesome as I picture it in my mind.
It was the coldest morning so far and Carol pulled on her new coat that she had found on their trip to town, it was slate grey in a peacoat style and it had a waist tie that accentuated just how skinny she had actually become when she tightened it. With a sigh, Carol determined she should probably take Daryl's advice and start eating more before winter completely set in. He had been so adament about it lately that he wouldn't even take his plate until she had finished hers, and he would sometimes give her some of his after that. That usually made her angry because he was getting thinner too, she could feel it when she ran her hands over his body at night, ribs were starting to show through and his hips were getting sharp, his collarbones were more prominent than ever...it worried Carol that he would completely forget about his needs for her sake.
Carol emerged from the tent and took a deep breath of chilly air, scanning the area for walkers as Daryl always did, it was amazing how much of his habits had begun rubbing off on her, she even found herself chewing her thumb lately whenever Shane and Rick and Daryl would get into a loud and angry discussion over whatever it was that they argued about. Daryl usually didn't get too involved, but he always seemed to be stuck in the middle of it anyway and that made Carol angry. She could plainly see how uncomfortable it made him, but he always stood up for Rick's side and Shane would shout some threats and give some dirty looks before stomping off...how long would it be until he didn't take any more of Rick and Daryl's alliance?
Speak of the devil...Shane came sauntering across the field towards her and gave her a grim smile. Carol crossed her arms over her chest in her old defensive stance, she didn't like being alone with Shane...he was a time bomb.
"Hey, Carol," Shane said curtly, giving her a nod.
"Hi, Shane, what brings you all the way out here?" she asked, trying not to show her nervousness.
"Rick sent me to tell you and your..."
"Daryl?" Carol cut him off hotly, not in the mood for Shane's comments.
"Yeah," Shane narrowed his eyes a little, "You and Daryl that the Greenes have invited us to stay in the house through the winter. We're moving in today."
"Alright, I'll let him know," Carol was ready for Shane to leave. "He's not here right now, he's out hunting."
Shit, why did I just say that! Carol had a horrible feeling that Shane had it out for Daryl and what better way to get at him than through her? But Shane only nodded and started walking back towards the farm.
"G'mornin'," Daryl drawled in her ear, having snuck up behind her yet again as silent as a shadow. Carol jumped and turned around with a flash of anger in her eyes that softened immediately.
"Daryl...seriously, you've got to stop doing that!" Carol lectured, but as much as it scared her every time, she secretly liked it. It always made her skin tingle from the thrill of his unexpected presence and his smooth whispered voice. "Or...at least maybe a little less..."
Daryl's grin was triumphant looking and Carol laughed slightly before she gave him a peck on his cheekbone.
"Shane was here earlier," Carol stated, watching for his reaction. Just like she thought, his eyes lost their amusement and turned to suspicion.
"What'd he want?" Daryl's tone was low and threatening.
"He told me to let you know that the Greenes have decided they want us all to stay inside their house for the winter," Carol reassured him, not wanting to start something between the two men again.
"Oh..." Daryl's anger faded but he looked a little disappointed. "So, you gonna move in?"
"You mean 'we'?" Carol didn't miss his meaning, he wasn't going to move in the house. Daryl was a creature of solitude and an overcrowded house was less desireable to him than facing the elements all winter.
"No, I mean you," Daryl stated simply, "I ain't livin' in that sardine can."
"Well then I guess I'm not either," Carol replied stubbornly. "I'm not worried about a little cold."
"Carol, I think you should..."
"Well, I think you should shut your mouth and accept the fact that I'd rather be slightly cold here with you than toasty warm and alone."
This was what she loved about Daryl, he was so easy going about things. He knew she wasn't going to back down and so he just raised his hands, palms forward in a gesture of acceptance and smiled slightly.
"Alright, calm down, I ain't gonna force you to do nothin'," he stated calmly, "But we're gonna have to do some preppin' before the snow starts fallin'."
Carol nodded in agreement and they headed to the house together to see what the plans for the day were.
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Daryl watched from the top of the RV as the camp started tearing down and moving inside the farmhouse. Lori was supervising, of course, he noticed with a small sneer, Carol and Sophia were organizing piles of stuff by owner, Andrea, T-Dog and Glenn were carrying anything they wouldn't need inside to the basement, things like the tents and their small collection of cooking utensils.
Daryl scanned the horizon and area for walkers before his attention went back to Carol and Sophia. They were sitting under the tree where the Grime's tent use to be, sorting clothes and items that had been set out when the tents were moved. Sophia held up someone's lacy underwear and giggled, Carol burst into laughter and snatched it from her, tossing it towards one of the piles. Daryl felt the corners of his mouth twitch with amusement as he watched the mother and daughter pair somehow get enjoyment out of the most boring project.
Carol had told Sophia that she him weren't moving into the house for the winter and Sophia had asked if she could stay out with them. Daryl felt guilty about how quickly he had shot the idea down and the look Sophia had gotten when she had nodded her acceptance, and as he watched them now he felt like an intruder.
He knew what he needed to do, what he wanted to do, but he couldn't wrap his mind around it. It was the most terrifying thing he'd ever been faced with and he was running through scenarios in his mind of how Carol might react.
"Dixon!" Andrea's shout cut his thoughts short and his head snapped towards her voice.
"What?" she shouted back across the yard to where she stood on the porch.
"Tell Carol she can bring in Glenn's pile," Andrea called back.
"Why can't ya' just tell 'er yerself?" Daryl snapped back, "Ya got loud enough pipes!"
Carol had heard Andrea's request and she was already walking to the house with Sophia, their arms full of Glenn's small pile of earthly possessions. As he watched them go, Daryl decided it was time to stop playing games and time to get serious.
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By the time everyone was moved in and everything was ready, it was late afternoon and Carol finally managed to get some time to start organizing her own things, not that she had much. Leaving Sophia in the house felt all wrong to her, but she knew that their tent wasn't spacious enough for them all and she knew how uncomfortable Daryl would be if Sophia was there.
When she finally got all her belongings and winter clothes in a box, she headed towards their campsite.
"Is that all you've got?" Daryl commented when she set the box down by the old chimney that was the center piece of their little piece of property.
"Well...I didn't have a whole lot to begin with," Carol admitted, thinking back to how quickly Ed had demanded they leave and all the things she had left behind.
"I know that feeling," Daryl stated quietly.
Carol gave him a sympathetic smile and sat down next to him, placing her hand on his jean-clad knee, just out the necessity to touch him. Daryl was use to her hand placement now and he paid no mind and continued sharpening a stick into what she assumed was to be an arrow.
She sat with him for a long time, until the sun began to set, before she announced she had to go get Sophia settled in and he nodded in understanding. She wondered why he was being so quiet, but she figured he would tell her when he was ready. He always did.
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Carol kissed Sophia goodnight and went downstairs where everyone else was gathered by the fireplace, chatting and drinking coffee that Beth had been so kind to make. Carol hesistated for a moment, feeling a little bit torn between her favorite beverage, friends and a hot fire and the man who waited for her back out in the cold night.
"Carol, I made some for you and Daryl," Beth said quietly, interrupting her thoughts. "I put it in this thermos so you can take some to him if he wants any."
Carol smiled gently and thankfully at Beth, people didn't usually think about the redneck on the edge of their perceptions. She was grateful that this young, innocent girl realized he existed.
"Thank you, Beth," she said kindly, taking the thermos of precious liquid. "I know for a fact he's gonna want to hug you he'll be so thankful."
Beth blushed but smiled and Carol bid them all goodnight. Andrea shook her head with a smile and gave her a wink before she left through the front door.
When she stepped outside, there he was. He was leaning against the bed of his beat up old two tone Ford, his arms crossed and head down slightly as he looked up at her from under his brow. She felt her heart jump at the sight of him looking so much like himself. He hadn't driven his truck since they left Atlanta, T-Dog had driven it while Daryl took the bike to scout ahead, but the truck was pure Daryl because it was HIS, not Merle's.
"Hop in," was all he said when she approached him. He placed a hand on her back and led her around the other side, opening the door for her before he got in on his own side. She watched every move he was making as he started the engine. She loved the rumble and feel of the motor as it came alive and she loved the way he only used one hand to manuever the steering wheel, like it was an extension of his body.
Carol wasn't sure where he was taking her, but she didn't argue. She realized they were leaving the farm as he drove them down the driveway and out to the road. But soon enough he pulled off the road onto an overgrown dirt path that led them into a wide open field, round bales of hay surrounded them when he put the truck in park near what she figured was the center of the field.
"You gonna talk or somethin'? You're real quiet," Daryl asked her. She smiled at him and exited the truck, making him have to follow if he wanted an answer.
"Why did you bring me out here?" Carol asked, leaning on the truck bed, her chin resting on the cold metal. "You have a weird urge to have sex in a hayfield?"
Carol noticed his expression was a slightly pained wince, not the cocky smile she had expected and she suddenly felt that something was different. He chewed his thumb for a second before he walked around the truck to her. Carol waited for the inevitable heart stopping kiss he would surely smother her with...but he didn't make any move to touch her.
"Carol..." he started, and had to stop to clear his throat, "I've...got a reason for all this, but I can't tell ya yet. C'mere."
He went to the back of the truck and lowered the tailgate, Carol's eyes widened at what she saw when he did. There was a whole setup back there! Their sleeping bags and blankets were laid out, and Carol saw a box set up against the back of the cab.
"Aw, Daryl!" she squealed, turning to him and giving him a huge smile. "You're such a hick! I love it!"
Daryl gave her a grin, jumped up and held out a hand to pull her up. Carol took hold and gasped when he very nearly lifted her entire body up with one arm, the only help she gave was the jump off the groud at first. She gripped his arms when she felt the metal of the truck beneath her feet to steady herself, and she took the opportunity to take in the feeling of his muscles tight under her hands.
"Damn..." she let out a low whistle, "You're so strong..."
Daryl just scoffed at her and sat down on the makeshift bed, his eyes urging her to follow. She did, without hesitation. She straddled his hips as she pushed him slowly onto his back, her lips slowly connecting with his. But, to her surprise, he turned his head and gently pushed her off to the side.
"Daryl? Are you ok?" Carol asked, wondering why he was being so distant.
"Yeah, Carol, I just..." he hesitated, "I was thinking today that...I didn't do anything right with us."
"What? Daryl, yes you did," Carol assured him, placing her hand against his cheek in reassurance. He removed it, but kissed her wrist before he let it go.
"Naw," he replied quietly, "There's something I should have done a long time ago."
Before Carol could ask him what he meant, he leaned across her and lifted the box over her and sat up to dig through it. He pulled something out and laid it to the side, but it was too dark for Carol to see what it was. then he pulled her up to a sitting position.
"Daryl, I don't know what you're blaming yourself for but I don't have any problem with us..." Carol tried to reassure him, her heart was thumping wildly at the thought that this might possibly be his way of terminating their relationship.
But he didn't make any sign of acknowledgement as he sat in front of her, butt to heels, laying his crossbow to the side. His eyes stared directly into hers, filled with determination and she felt her heart squeeze and she started to cry.
"Hey, hey," Daryl's voice sounded slightly panicked as he took her face in his hands. "You need t' calm down f'r a second so I can say this, 'k?"
Carol sucked in a deep breath, determined to be brave and nodded.
"Carol..." Daryl started slowly, as if he was searching for just the right thing to say, "Damn it, I had this whole big ass speech planned out but...I can't fuckin' think straight!"
Carol laughed slightly but she didn't feel any better about the whole thing.
"You know I ain't good at this, but...I wanna tell ya how I feel about you."
Carol finally raised her eyes and found he was looking at her with his eyes squinted in discomfort, but determination.
"Carol, fuck...you're the most amazin' woman I've ever met and I don't deserve nothin' from you! But, damn it, you wouldn't fuckin' give up on me no matter what the hell I did t' ya! And I don't deserve nothin' you've given me, but for some reason ya still keep givin'."
"Daryl..."
"Hush! Don't deny it, 'k? I DO NOT deserve you and that's just a fact and nothin' you say will ever convince me otherwise. But...for some reason you chose to let me have you anyway, in every way possible. Ya gave me your trust, your time, your love, your body...and I got so caught up in it all that I didn't think about what I was getting in to."
So there it was...he was feeling rushed. He was going to tell her to stay away from him.
"But I've had time to think about it lately," Daryl continued, "And...and I know what I want now."
Carol wanted to speak but nothing would come out of her dry mouth, but tears started falling from her eyes. Daryl shook his head and reached past her, pulling something out of the shadows. Carol was too scared to even wonder what it was...until she saw the glint on the moonlight and her breath caught in her throat.
"Carol, what I want is you. I want you to belong to no one but me and...I don't want to be anything but yours. I want you and I want Sophia. I want to protect you both and give you everything you both deserve that you never got before. I can't promise you things but I can promise you I'll never do anything less than everything I can for you."
And Carol felt something small and cold press into her palm as his hands covered hers.
"Carol...would ya' fuckin' marry me already?"
Relief, disbelief, love, amazement...so much flooded over Carol at once that she felt like she was going crazy and his last statement caused her to burst into laughter. Somehow she managed to nod before she threw herself into his arms, sobbing into his shoulder.
"Yes!" she finally managed to say loudly. She felt his lips curl into a big smile against her neck.
He gently pushed her away after a moment and slipped the warm circle of cheap metal on her finger off and replaced it with the cold, light feeling new ring on in it's place. He eyed the gold band that Ed had begrudgingly given her on their wedding day with disgust and then locked eyes with her as he tossed it into the darkness of the hayfield.
Carol looked down at the ring and smile. It was thin and silver, a single, small jewel sparkled at the center. Simple...like her and like him.
"Are you gonna kiss me now?" she asked quietly, raising her eyes to his once more. She smiled and leaned in to claim her lips in a gentle, meaningful kiss. Carol laid down and pulled him with her as the kiss continued. He never got any more intense than that and Carol sighed when he broke the kiss and just looked down at her with a look of complete peace.
"But...I noticed the other day you were stargazin' out there in the field before I grabbed ya," he stated quietly, "So I figured I owed you a little."
And when he moved to lay down beside her, she gasped. The sky out here in this field was huge and not a cloud was in the sky, the stars were so bright that she could see the Milky Way stretched across the dark expanse. She felt his arm slip under her head and pull her to him and they laid under the stars for hours, sipping Beth's thermos of coffee, pointing out constellations and whispering to eachother secrets about everyone in the group. Carol had never felt so at peace...so normal. It was their first date.
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There you go! But this is not the end of the story! It's just a new element to their relationship that needed to happen.
Let me know what you're thinking, all ym awesome readers :)