A/N: Hello everyone! I'm putting the note first because I wanted to make something clear.
I never intended to write more for this story.
I meant to leave it with the bittersweet/angsty ending that it had, but the idea was flowing, so here it is. Bear in mind that the Natsu in this chapter is a Natsu that has made a big sacrifice, lost the connection with someone important to him, and is now dealing with a demon sharing his soul… so you may find him a little out-of-character. I don't get into his perspective as much in this one, but as you'll be able to tell, there will eventually be another chapter. (Who knows when…)
I hope everyone likes it. I got some great responses from the first chapter (and it was my first Fairy Tail piece) so I'm hoping that you'll all be open to leaving a review with your thoughts. I didn't mean to make anyone cry, but I'm sort of happy you did because that means I wrote well.
Much love,
zabeth
After the battle, Makarov took Lucy to the hospital's triage tent that had been set up shortly after the building was blown apart by the sheer magic power of the battle between Fairy Tail and Tartarus. He left her in the care of the staff there, but not before Lucy noticed the crest emblazoned on her hand.
"Makarov, why do I have the guild's crest? I'm not a mage." Makarov looked to the side and turned away. He couldn't bear to look her in the eyes as he battled down his own despair at his child's situation.
"Because, Lucy, you are a part of our family."
Lucy's face bloomed pink with flustered pleasure. She cradled the hand close as Makarov walked away.
Fairy Tail's guild master rounded up all of his children at the broken and scattered ruin that used to be their guild hall. One pink-haired man and his cat were not present. There were murmurs and chatter spreading throughout the small crowd as people checked on their comrades and took a head count. He cut it off with a wave of his hand.
"Fairy Tail, we are victorious! The demons of the Book of Zeref and Zeref himself have been eliminated and sealed forever due to the power of our bonds and the light of our guild. We must be thankful for our ties to each other and work towards a better future," Makarov yelled.
"But how did Zeref get taken down?"
"Yeah, what were those flashy lights that flew around?"
"Those fairy lights fought like a real man!"
"Hey, where's flame-brain?"
Makarov sighed, opening his mouth to respond.
"What about Lu-chan? Hasn't anyone seen her?"
At Levy's innocent question, Makarov's mouth snapped shut and his head dropped. He heard a startled gasp come from the script mage and the murmuring began to rise. Mustering up some courage, he rolled back his shoulders and began to speak once more.
"Natsu, Happy and Lucy are all alive. They each were unable to come to this meeting, but you will be seeing them soon. Right now, I want you all to stop with the questions and find somewhere to rest. Tomorrow, we start rebuilding the guild and Magnolia."
The crowd started to disperse, but Makarov could see that some of his brats looked disgruntled at his lack of information. He walked through the core group that was concerned for the three absent mages, not looking up as he spoke.
"Do not go looking for them. Give it time and I will let you all know what happened."
Within the week, Makarov had tracked down Natsu and Happy, working to rebuild their small home in the forest. The poor little exceed looked exhausted and Natsu didn't speak at all, not even glancing at Makarov. The master sighed and rolled up his sleeves. He assisted the man with removing rubble and patching holes in the walls and ceiling until Natsu finally stopped moving.
The salmon-haired man sank heavily on the stone step outside his house and stared unseeingly down the worn path leading up to it. The sky was nearly dark and as Makarov sat next to the dragon slayer, the stars seemed to wink into existence.
"I need to know what happened, Natsu," Makarov said quietly. "I need to tell the guild what happened to Lucy."
Natsu drew in a shaky breath and turned his eyes skyward. He sniffed and his shoulders sagged.
"The stars aren't as bright anymore," he said. Then he began to tell Makarov everything he knew about what happened during the fight with Tartarus. How they had battled the soul-sucking demon and met with Hades' soul and how after that everything fell quickly apart in the great hall with Marde Guille and the book of E.N.D. Natsu shuddered and turned away as he spoke of his fight with himself and the appearance of the light. His voice cracked when he spoke of how Lucy screamed as her keys were snapped and how he couldn't reach her. He told Makarov about how Layla spoke through Lucy and how the vile flame demon was bound into his soul.
He clammed up when he got to their teleportation to Zeref's side. Natsu stood abruptly, hands curling into fists. Makarov continued to remain silent.
"I was fighting him. I wanted…. I wanted to kill him. I could hear that thing in my head, telling me to kill him, kill everything." Makarov could hear the man's teeth creaking as he ground them together. "Zeref threatened Lucy and it wanted to let her die."
Natsu fell to his knees, head turned up to the sky to gaze blearily at the stars above.
"She was glowing, floating. She looked at me, said my name. Those lights were protecting her better than I could."
Makarov held his breath; whatever happened next is what would have caused Lucy to forget Natsu and lose her magic.
"Lucy sealed Zeref and then… she- she died."
Makarov understood what happened, having known what Lumen Histoire was and how it was related to Lucy. What Makarov didn't understand yet was how Natsu had accessed the One Magic and so quickly. His suspicions did nothing to soothe his heart aching for the man.
Over the past month, the guild had been mostly rebuilt and the Fairies were assisting Magnolia in their reconstruction efforts. By some saving grace, Lucy had not been around to the guild hall and no one had seen her since the battle. Natsu had promised to arrive today for the first time, having avoided appearing to help when his guild mates were present.
Today, Makarov would tell them what happened.
"Alright, brats, I owe you an explanation!" he yelled. The members of Fairy Tail clustered in the center of their new hall, still bereft of tables and chairs. They all looked up with expectant faces and Makarov could see a small sliver of pink slip in through the back door. "Those fairy lights you saw helping us in the battle were the last remnants of Lumen Histoire's magic. Lumen Histoire was a dear friend of our founding master Mavis Vermillion. She was capable of utilizing the full weight of magic and her will was so strong that she passed it on physically through her bloodline. Every mage born into her line was a Celestial Spirit mage."
The spatter of voices rose at this proclamation, most of them successfully linking this new information to their own resident Stellar Spirit mage.
"When she died, Lumen concentrated her magic onto a seal located in the original Fairy Tail guild, a place our guild still lies upon. This magic passed through and grew with each mage that descended from her. Lucy Heartfilia used this magic as a link to the One Magic. With it, she sealed Zeref."
The chatter rose and questions kept popping out of the crowd, but the only one Makarov really heard came from Levy, once again.
"So where is she? Why haven't we seen her?"
"Because, my dear, in using the One Magic, Lucy had to sacrifice something very precious to her. It is hard for me to say this to you," Makarov swallowed thickly and latched his eyes on the sullen figure lurking near the back door and exit. "But Lucy sacrificed her magic for us all."
Voices rang out and reverberated against the newly installed walls. Natsu sank to the ground, sliding against the door jam with his head in his hands, still unnoticed by his family.
"Lucy will return to us, but not as you remember her. She has no recollection of being a mage or a part of Fairy Tail."
"D-does that mean that Lu-chan won't recognize us?"
"The only person she appears to not remember is… Natsu."
A series of gasps and cries rang out and most of the guild followed Makarov's line of sight, only to see the tail end of a white scaled scarf flicking around a door.
It wasn't for another month until Lucy started to come to the guild. The guild tried to subtly adjust to the 'new' Lucy, but when she acted as though she had always helped Mirajane behind the bar, many found it difficult. She seemed to still recognize everyone she had known, but thought a lot of their shared adventures were just stories they had told her. Out of respect for their guildmate's feelings, no one ever mentioned Lucy around Natsu, but his name uttered in passing never seemed to register in her ears.
"And a slice of strawberry cake for the Titania!" Lucy presented the plate with a small flourish to Erza who let a small smile peek through her countenance.
"Thank you, Lucy," she said.
"How was your last mission, Erza?" Lucy wiped her hands on her short apron skirt and leaned her elbows on the counter.
"It went well. The villagers presented me with a decorated pelt of the beast I slew."
"Wow! You sure are tough, Erza. It must be amazing to go on quests like you do," Lucy sighed wistfully. Erza looked down at her cake, slowly putting down her fork. "I've only got my novel to go on adventures with, but sometimes, it feels like they're real… Guess I've got an overactive imagination! Speaking of…"
Erza looked up as Lucy waved and called to Levy who was sitting at a table with the rest of her team and Gajeel and Lily. The script mage jogged over.
"What's up, Lu-chan?"
"I finished the next chapter in my novel and I figured you'd want to read it. I'll bring it in tomorrow, so finish up whatever you're working on today!"
"Oh that's amazing! I was hoping you'd have another chapter out soon!" Levy clasped her hands together and Lucy leaned over the counter, winking.
"Things are really heating up in this chapter! It's pretty intense."
Levy waved her arms in front of her, between herself and Lucy. "Ahh! No spoilers, Lu!"
Lucy just laughed and waved her off and Levy bounded back over to her table. Still giggling, Lucy looked over at Erza, whose cake was only partially eaten, her fork abandoned.
"Erza? Is something wrong?"
"Ah, no, Lucy. Don't worry about it. I just got lost in my thoughts."
"Lucy!" Mira called, sticking her head out from the kitchen. "Can you take this order over to Na—Happy's table?"
"Sure, Mira," she said, grabbing the tray with fish, fire whiskey, and a bowl of chicken and pasta with some matches over to the exceed's table. He was sitting with a man wearing a one-sleeved black and gold trench coat and white pants. The man had ridiculously colored pink hair and he and his white scarf looked vaguely familiar, but Lucy couldn't place him.
"Lushy!" The blue cat cried out. The man glanced up before immediately diverting his attention to the tabletop.
"Here you go!" She set the tray down and distributed the items, guessing that the whiskey and chicken dish went to the man instead of Happy who normally ordered only fish. Watching Happy take a huge bite out of the fish, she smiled as he thanked her around his full mouth. The man he sat with hadn't moved an inch since he'd glanced up at her and she couldn't for the life of her recognize his face. He was clearly a member of the guild, the red mark proudly emblazoned on his exposed shoulder.
Frowning, she picked up the box of matches and on a whim, light one and stuck it on his already grill-blackened dinner. The meal burst into flame and she didn't feel like this was a bad thing. Strange, most people didn't want their food lit on fire, but when she did it, the man's dark eyes snapped up to her a slightly stunned look on his face.
"Uh, sorry… I just thought… I don't know. I can get you another one if you don't want it to be on fire?" she hedged, suddenly unsure of whether she'd done the right thing. The man's jaw slid shut and he gave a small little smile, more of a twitch of his lips. He turned to his flaming food.
"No, I like it this way." The man started eating and Lucy nodded to herself, stunned that the man could eat fire. Mechanically, she turned back to head over to the bar and resume her duties.
She could feel his eyes on her back as she walked back to the bar, but felt comforted instead of creeped out. Lucy started up her next task—rolling a full keg out for Cana—and promptly forgot all about the fire-eater.
The next day, Lucy sat on a stool at the bar, flipping through the chapter she was handing over to Levy later. Sometimes she wondered where her imaginative stories came from. She felt terribly connected to the characters she wrote about: an honorable female paladin, an aloof metallurgical alchemist, a busty summoner, a strange little boy with wings, and a draconic warrior.
The characters were familiar to her and she felt she could write about them and their reactions and emotions as though they were her own. Not for the first time, she felt like she was baring her soul at the thought of having another person read her story, even if it was Levy. Flipping to the most recent pages added, she traced her finger over the carefully written words.
When she'd written this last part, she'd been horribly overcome with emotion.
The summoner and the draconic warrior had been separated in a battle, the summoner taken captive by their enemy. As she was ripped away from her comrade, he had spouted a soliloquy that Lucy wasn't sure where it came from. The passage was soulful and heartfelt and just reading it again was making her misty-eyed.
"You are a precious person to me and I promised I would protect you. Our fates have always been entwined. I will shield you and keep you from harm, always."
The fiery warrior then started to profess his love, but the summoner could no longer hear his voice, being carried too far from the fighter. Lucy's vision started to blur and with a sniff she slammed the volume closed, all the while wondering why she felt so attached to those words that had spouted from her pen with no effort or thought on her part. She had nearly written her own name instead of her character's when the rogue started his confession.
She was broken out of her reverie by a small hand landing on her shoulder. She turned to see Levy looking at her with concerned eyes.
"Lu? Are you alright?"
Lucy quickly scrubbed at her eyes as she stood. Giving a small laugh, she pressed the bound pages into Levy's chest where the avid reader's hands quickly wound around them. "I'm fine, Levy-chan. I was just getting a little emotional about this chapter."
The woman took a small step back from her friend as Levy continued to lock eyes with the blonde.
"Okay… if something is bothering you, you can tell me, Lucy. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, of course. Just… don't let anyone else read that. Please."
With that, Lucy turned tail and headed back to her apartment. Levy could only look down at the pages she held, walking slowly over to the corner she normally occupied. She began to read.
Hours later, Levy was bursting into Makarov's office.
"Levy? What's the meaning of this?" he asked as he hastily scrambled to hide his copy of Sorcerer Weekly's centerfold. The script mage was out of breath and teary, clutching the door frame in one hand and a thick volume of paper in the other, close to her chest.
"Master, where's Natsu?" she inquired.
"He should be on his way back from a mission tonight or tomorrow. Why?"
"I need to find him! Do you know what road he'd take?" she demanded.
"Levy, what is so urgent that you can't wait until he gets back?" he stood on his chair as the woman stepped fully into the room. She fumbled with the pages she held and bit her lip as though toying with an idea.
"I- I probably shouldn't let you read it… but…" her nervous countenance broke into a steely determination. She pushed the papers forward and into Makarov's hands. "Lucy wrote this."
Makarov scrutinized her carefully.
"Start with the last few pages."
He flipped to the end and started skimming the words. His eyes rounded and snapped back up to Levy. "When?"
"She wrote it after it all happened." A tear slipped down her cheek. "I don't think she realizes it or remembers now, but… it's all there! The book she was writing was all allegory or parallelism for her own adventures."
"Levy, you cannot tell anyone about this."
"What?! Why?!"
"This is dangerous, Levy. What I'm about to tell you cannot leave this room."
The door shut behind her with a short wave of Makarov's hand and he motioned for her to sit in the lone chair occupying the room.
"Lucy should be dead right now." Levy gasped, suddenly terribly glad she had taken the seat offered. She wasn't sure she'd have been able to continue standing. "Her use of the One Magic, as I understand it, drained her of all of her magic, resulting in her passing."
"So why is she still with us?" the woman cried out in a tiny voice, muffled by the hands covering her mouth.
"Because Natsu also used the One Magic."
Suddenly, everything clicked into place.
He tried to stay away. Really, he did. Happy never spoke to him about it past the sad looks he gave him and no one ever questioned him at the guild anymore. The past months had been the worst of his life, but he couldn't bring himself to take back what he'd done because they would have been infinitely worse had he not used the One Magic.
Natsu sat on the roof of her apartment, listening intently as she puttered around for her nightly ablutions. His shoulder was still sore from his last solo mission, a new habit he'd picked up since Tartarus. He didn't want to endanger anyone if he lost control of the beast housed in his soul. He also didn't want to go on any team mission that didn't include her. Happy was the only exception to this new rule.
He heard her bed creak and her small sigh as she settled into bed. The voice in his head whispered evil things, impure things, but his heart remained strong. Even if he couldn't stand by her side, he would protect her. Even if she didn't remember him, he would be her shield. Even if the danger came from himself, he would keep her safe.
Once her breathing settled and became steady, he shifted noiselessly to his feet and took off into the night, whispering out his one word promise.
"Always."
In the weeks since Levy had returned her latest chapter, Lucy couldn't help but feel that the script mage was just as overcome if not more overcome with emotion than Lucy herself. She kept catching the smaller girl giving her sad looks and she was swept into hugs more often than was usual. Lucy continued about her business, trying to attribute Levy's strange behavior to the raw power of her character's speech.
Unfortunately, when she finally made time from working at the guild bar, she found she could write no more for the story. Her writer's block continued for another three weeks until Lucy was just bursting at the seams with frustration.
She punched her pillow in agitation, a feather or two popping out and floating gently to the floor. Groaning, she fell back on her bed and smothered her face with the same pillow. She laid there haphazardly for a few minutes, trying to make her blood pressure drop.
Just as she had lowered her pulse rate, she heard the sliding of slate on rock. There was a thud after that and Lucy clutched the pillow to her chest, eyes darting to her window. She crawled across the bed and opened it, readying herself to peer out. Before she could even get her fingers off the sill, a black shape fell from the roof with a groan of pain.
She screeched and fell back, nearly off the bed, one hand missing the edge and the other clutching the duvet tightly. She could see a set of fingers clinging to her window frame, one nail ripped off and the others blunted and chipped. Cautiously, she moved towards the window.
When Lucy peeked out her window, she saw that the hand was very much connected to a body, male and bleeding. The man's hair was a dull shade of rose and matted with blood. She was sure she'd never seen this man in her life, but oddly, she didn't feel scared. Her eyes locked on the shoulder attached to the hand he clung to her window with and saw the mark of Fairy Tail.
That was all the motivation she needed to grab his wrist and start to lug him inside.
And she didn't regret it for a second once she saw how wounded the man was. Her skin tingled where she touched him, but she focused on settling the semi-conscious mage on her bed before running to get some first aid supplies. She'd worry about the blood stains later.
She started tending to his wounds, carefully pulling back his hair and checking his scalp for the abrasion that was causing it to bleed. Had he meant to come here? She couldn't fathom why this man was clinging to her window sill in the dead of night when he was wounded as he was. Did he just come back from a mission? Had it gone wrong? She stopped tending to his bleeding arm when he groaned again.
"Shh… it's alright, you're safe now," she whispered, trying to unwrap the white and smooth scarf from his neck so she could get to his jacket. She'd need to remove it since there were several bloody patches of cloth and rips in it that spoke of greater damage she couldn't see yet. As she folded the scarf and place it aside, one eye creaked open, dilated and unfocused.
"Luce..?" Lucy sucked in a sharp breath. This man knew her?
His hand flopped over and missed her, catching on the edge of the bed where it hung limply. He winced and hissed as he turned his head towards her and she stared right back. He looked severely concussed. He reached up and was able to graze the underside of her wrist from where it was poising her hand over the first aid kit and Lucy felt a tingle zip straight through every nerve ending in her arm.
Snapping back into action, she gingerly moved his wrist, touching it only where his sweat band covered and resumed her medical attentions. "I don't know who you are or why you're here, but you're injured, so let me patch you up. You're Fairy Tail, aren't you?"
A sort of half smile half grimace appeared on his face and she leaned over to wrap some gauze around his arm.
"Luce…"
And with that, the strange man in her bed passed out. Lucy breathed out a sigh of relief and set back to work.
Lucy stayed up well through the night, watching her patient sleep. She now felt sure she must have known him. He knew her and she just felt… she felt like she was forgetting something. Where had she seen him before? She curled up further into her armchair.
That hair. It was so vivid and ridiculous. And she was sure that his scarf was something he always wore. Everything about him screamed familiarity, but she just couldn't put her finger on why.
The sun was starting to slip in through her window as the early morning dawned. She felt tired from her vigil, but restless. This man, why was he important?
Frustrated by her lack of answers, she turned to write more for her story. Her pen scratched away at her rough draft, the first work she'd been able to write since she completed the last chapter for Levy. This chapter described the confusion the summoner felt at the warrior's confession and how their separation affected them. The warrior threw himself into work, going on dangerous missions to try and find his love and the summoner felt adrift and lost in captivity.
She was scribbling a description of the draconic fighter trekking along a worn path through a dark forest when she heard rustling coming from her bed. She turned to see her patient rolling onto his side, curling into the fetal position. His face was buried into her pillow which he clutched to his chest as though it was a long lost treasure he'd been reunited with. She could hear him mumbling and quietly walked over and kneeled on the floor by his face.
His features were contorted and scrunched in pain. She was a little startled when some tears started to squeeze free from his dusty pink eyelashes.
"Why… leave me… 'ove you… no…" he mumbled and Lucy leaned closer to hear what he was saying. "…m'back… Luce."
More than a little weirded out by this man's babbling, she lightly pressed on his shoulder. Once again, she quickly retracted her hand as the strange tingles erupted from her fingertips and raced up her arm. The man groaned and clutched the pillow tighter, burying his face in it until only his eyes were visible. Slowly, the hoods rose from his onyx orbs and as he blinked the sleep away, Lucy watched, transfixed.
He inhaled deeply from the pillow, squeezing it tightly, until he suddenly froze. His eyes snapped up to meet hers. Slowly, he untangled himself from the pillow and inched away from her, carefully moving to sit up. He ran a hand over the bandages on his head and torso, never removing his gaze from hers.
At his frightened look, Lucy softened her gaze and spoke. "You showed up here last night, hurt. I don't know why you came here, but you needed help."
"I, uh, didn't… I didn't say anything… do anything… weird, did I?" His voice was rough, but the deep sound rumbled through her small room, reverberating through her ears.
"No... but you… you called me Luce." The man paled, clutching the sheets of her bed under his hands. "I don't recognize you, but you're in the guild. No one there calls me Luce, though."
"I, um…" his dark eyes shot towards the door and not a second later, a quick series of knocks sounded. Lucy regarded him for a moment before getting up and answering the door. Levy stood there, hands clasped together tightly.
"May I come in?"
"Sure, just hold on…" Levy came in, moving towards the small kitchenette table as Lucy checked back behind the curtain to her room. The man was gone.
Natsu slumped on her roof, his scarf and jacket in hand. Gingerly, he slipped the articles on over his bandages and pressed a hand to his rapidly beating heart. He had been so careful to avoid being alone with her. He didn't need any more reminders that she didn't know him. Just those last moments in the white expanse where his wish had come true were plenty.
He traced the bandages firmly wrapped around his head.
Still, she had taken him in without question. He knew Lucy had always been weird and always been kind underneath her vanity, but it seemed a bit much for her to forcefully drag a wounded and unconscious man into her bedroom when she didn't even know him. He wondered if it was just because she noticed his guild mark. Privately, he hoped it was because, somewhere inside her, she recognized him.
Sighing heavily, he stood and shook his head, taking off for his house to clean up and get fresh clothes. He supposed he should stop taking S-class missions solo for at least a week with the injuries he'd sustained on this last one. The voice in the back of his head growled at the thought of less carnage, but Natsu needed to rest. He was supposed to meet with Makarov that night and he was not in a good mood.
Levy twiddled her thumbs nervously as Lucy checked in her room for something. She was terribly nervous and she could hear the master's words from the weeks before echoing in her head.
"You cannot tell her anything about this, Levy," Makarov was stern. "There is no telling what will happen if someone tries to undo the price that Natsu paid."
"But Master!"
"No, Levy! If his price is somehow reversed by any force outside the One Magic, it could cost Lucy her life."
"And what about Natsu?"
"He can't know anything either. If he thought there was a way to bring her back, he would stop at nothing. His resolve would crumble and we could lose him as well."
"But why would we lose him, too?"
"Because, Levy, Natsu is not just Natsu anymore."
Levy steeled herself as Lucy came back into the room. Makarov's warning rang clearly through her head, but she just couldn't stand it. She knew that Lucy had believed the One Magic was rooted in love and Levy theorized that it was the combination of Lucy's bloodline and her love for the guild that had allowed her to make a sacrifice to seal Zeref. With that theory, she could postulate that the reason Natsu, who had no known physical connection to Lumen Historie, was able to utilize the Magic of One so quickly because he also loved deeply.
He was in love with Lucy.
He was in love with her and Levy was banking on it.
"What's up, Levy-chan? Was there something you needed?"
"Lu-chan, I wanted to ask you something. About your book." Lucy took a seat across from her and her face looked surprised.
"What about? I haven't finished the next chapter yet. I've had horrible writer's block."
"I wanted to ask about one of your characters…" Lucy just gazed at her, speculative, but open. She nodded and Levy continued, "Can you tell me about the dragon race warrior? How you came up with his character?"
Lucy leaned back into her chair, a little stunned by the question. She certainly hadn't expected anything like that.
"Well, he's just… he's… he's strong and compassionate, a fiery soul. He loves his friends and would give anything to protect them. He's not always polite, but he's loyal and kind. What brought this on, Levy-chan?"
Levy breathed a small sigh of relief at her description. It sounded like Natsu, alright. "Ah, nothing. Can you tell me what you feel when you're writing about him?"
The blonde across from her got a strange flustered look on her face and Levy's eyes instantly absorbed.
"I, uh… well… maybe this will sound silly," she hedged. Levy leaned closer and placed a hand over Lucy's.
"It won't. You're allowed to be attached to your characters."
"When I think about him, when I write about him… it feels like… home," Lucy murmured. "I've only ever felt like that when I write to my mom."
Levy's eyes danced with the knowledge. She tamped it down and filed it away.
"Lu, have you written to your mom lately?"
"No… everything was so hectic after the city was in shambles. I didn't have anything to write about."
Lucy bit her lip and Levy opened her mouth to speak, to question, but decided against it. Another awkward moment passed until Lucy started talking again.
"I… this is going to sound strange, but I feel like things I used to write to her, used to tell her… That I… I can't anymore." Lucy looked up and Levy was startled to see that the blonde's eyes were glassy. Clasping the woman's hand, Levy nodded for her to continue. "I don't know what to say, like I've lost the words I used to have."
"Oh Lu-chan…"
Lucy gripped her friend's hand, but Levy withdrew and came around the table to hug her.
"The writer's block I've been getting… is the same."
Lucy wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's frame and cried. Levy pressed her cheek down on her friend's crown sadly. In the end, she couldn't tell her.
Makarov was not surprised when Natsu grumpily stepped into his office, sporting bandages that clearly someone else must have put on for him. He was only moderately surprised that the man was not pitching a fit, but he supposed that the aspect of his personality that caused him to act without thinking had left him rather abruptly after his encounter with the One Magic.
"Natsu, sit."
The man obliged, but his posture made it clear he did not want to be there.
"I received a letter from Sabertooth's Yukino Aguria. She's their Stellar Spirit mage."
"So?" Natsu slouched further in the chair, sticking one hand deep into a pocket in his coat. Makarov saw that it curled into a fist.
"She was asking about Lucy-" Natsu flinched at the name "-and her keys. She said that Libra and Pisces have come to her about Lucy's spirits. Time flows differently there, and they are concerned about their summoner."
"I don't understand why you're telling me this."
"I'm telling you because you knew where her keys were when they were… broken. While I'm sure that her spirits know that their gates have been shut, they should know how and why." Natsu pointedly looked away, hand still clenched tightly in his pocket. Makarov eyed how his jaw worked, clenching and unclenching. "Loke is still a member of our guild and yet he knows nothing of the aftermath."
Natsu shifted uncomfortably again. His eyes flicked over and caught Makarov's before turning away again.
"Do you have a recording lacrima?"
"Yes…"
"Get it out." Natsu hunched over towards the desk as Makarov reached blindly for the purple-tinted lacrima. "I ain't going to repeat my story again, but… well, this should be all the info she'd need."
Makarov set the recording up and Natsu pointed it at the desk. The muscles in his arm were tense, but he tentatively retracted his hand from his coat pocket, still fisted. A glimpse of something blue caught Makarov's attention as Natsu's shaky hand gently unfurled over the tabletop, a soft azure moleskin pouch slipping from his fingers.
The soft tapping of metal on the hard wood revealed the blackened pieces he'd been holding. Though their colors had all been bled out, Makarov recognized the shards for what they were: Lucy's gate keys.
"I… I tried to you know… fix them and clean them up, but…" Natsu released a wavering breath. "They just stayed black…"
Lightly, Makarov flipped the pieces around so that each gate symbol could be clearly seen. After another few seconds, he turned the lacrima off and watched in silence as Natsu carefully swept the pieces into his palm and slipped them back in the pouch he kept in his coat pocket. The man barely even waited for Makarov to slip the small lacrima into a box to send to Saber before he was making his way to the door.
He said nothing as Natsu walked out his office door, shutting it quietly behind him. Makarov picked up the letter and fastened it to the package. He stared at it for a few minutes before shaking himself out of his reverie and gingerly picking it up. He'd have Wendy deliver it straight to Yukino in the morning.
Lucy gently closed her front door behind Levy, resting her head wearily against the grained wood. Clicking the lock and deadbolt, she sighed and eyed the cupboard above her writing desk. She was mentally and emotionally exhausted from Levy's visit and her night-long vigil. Lucy had cried far longer than she wanted to admit, but her friend had just held her and stroked her hair softly. The action had been so soothing, so motherly.
Maybe she would feel better if she wrote to her own mother. It didn't matter what she had to say, Mama always listened.
Lucy softly padded the length of the room, coming up to the cabinet. The handles were eye-level and smoothly polished, cool to the touch. The pink mark on her hand caught her eye as it always did and Lucy felt a pang in her chest, longing. Pushing that feeling aside for now, she tugged the door open.
A flurry of letters slipped out and around her like a papery mist. Clearly the rumbling of the city from Fairy Tail's last battle had shifted the precious cargo. Lucy bent to retrieve the fallen missives, breathing in the familiar scent of parchment and lavender from the paper she used only for writing her mother.
She continued her work, placing another stack of letters back in the cupboard. She sank to her knees to pick up the remaining few. Just as she thought she grabbed all of them, a corner of paper caught her eye. One letter must have floated until it slipped right under her mattress frame. Clutching her stack in one hand, she reached forward to pick up the last letter.
The paper was cool to the touch and just as smooth and thick as she would expect. What Lucy did not expect was for the seal on the letter's back, an elegant L and H entwined in scarlet wax, to be broken.
Curious, she placed the stack on her desk and sank down onto the floor with the letter. She stared at the broken seal as she leaned on the side of her bed, folding a leg under herself. A breeze swept in from her still-open window and she caught another scent. She smelt campfire.
Gingerly, Lucy brought the paper to her nose and found that the smell was mixed in with the lavender, paper and ink of the letter. Had someone read this?
Flipping it open, she saw her own familiar handwriting filled the page. It was dated over 8 years ago.
Dear Mama,
I finally got into Fairy Tail today!
What? Had she read that right? She reread the line twice more before moving on. Her brow was creased and her breathing was starting to get heavier, noisily pushing through her nose. She wasn't 'in' Fairy Tail…
It was amazing seeing the guild hall in person! I met this wonderful person called Erza as well! She's cool and beautiful… Everything I thought the Titania would be. And that Natsu…
Suddenly, Lucy couldn't breathe. Natsu. Who was that? Why did that name cause her to feel woozy? She read the name out loud, tasting it on her tongue, feeling it form on her lips. She traced over the name and felt a small tingle rise in her fingertip.
And that Natsu… Lucy's eyes greedily absorbed the rest of the page. Almost unthinkingly, she grabbed another letter, slipping her finger under the crest before shocking herself with the snap of the old wax breaking.
Taking another deep breath, she opened the next letter.
To say Natsu was in a bad mood was putting it lightly. He had made it halfway home from his visit to Makarov's office when he started to feel anxious in addition to the inner turmoil that was roiling under his skin. The master had made him share just what had happened to Lucy's keys and before that, what had happened to Lucy with the guild. Natsu felt angry, selfish. He didn't want to share anymore. His feelings were still cut open raw by the whole experience of Lucy's death and of her subsequent return, the salt rubbing into them was her eyes.
Those eyes that had gazed at him and not known who he was. The lack of recognition in those whiskey eyes cut him so deep. He saw the way they still twinkled with happiness when she spoke to Mira or Erza, how they'd crinkle around the edges when she welcomed Gray home from his latest job. But never once did those eyes sweep over to him as though she'd know exactly where he was. Her innate sense of his presence was gone.
Natsu growled. The voice that simmered in the back of his brain murmured to him. It echoed in his skull, sinking into his chest. He shouldn't have to share her. If she couldn't look at him with those eyes, why should she look at anyone else? The thought reverberated down his spine and before he could continue, he found himself holding onto a very familiar window sill.
The scent of lavender, parchment, and salt seeped through his awareness as Natsu clamped down hard on the creeping feeling his demon gave him when he invaded his thoughts. Somehow, he realized, he'd ended up back at Lucy's.
The salty air concerned him and he pushed his demons from his mind again. Taking a peak into her lit window, he saw no sign of her. Lifting himself on the ledge, he noticed the pane was still cracked from how he'd left it that morning and he could smell that Levy had come and gone. Lucy's scent was still fresh, indicating she was home.
A soft breeze swept past him into the room, rustling some papers. Natsu's eyes fell on them. They were the letters to Layla and they were open. Why were they open? Natsu's eyes widened, the anxious feeling he'd had just minutes ago returned full force and he ignored the rule he'd made for himself. Lifting the window pane, he stepped into the room voluntarily for the first time since before Tartarus attacked.
His foot alighted on the still blood-stained sheets of her bed and with his new position, he saw her. Lucy was slumped on the floor, scores of letters opened, some crumpled, lying on the ground around her. One was even still clutched in her slack grip.
Natsu felt the pang in his chest even more acutely when he saw her prone form, instantly kneeling at her side.
"Lucy?" he tried, gently, softly. He brushed some hair from her face and found that it was red and puffy, dried tears making the skin sticky. "Luce, get up…"
She did not respond.
His heart beat furiously, relieved only for a millisecond when a small puff of air escaped her lips. His chest hurt horribly as he scooped up the blonde. His feet knew the path to the guild faster than he could register that she needed to go.
Levy whipped around when the guild doors burst open. She had just been packing her bag to leave, still saddened by her visit with Lucy. The sight that greeted her when her hazel eyes found the door made her remaining strength flag.
"HELP! Get Wendy!" Natsu's voice rang out loudly, a familiar blonde tucked in his embrace.
Levy faintly heard Juvia rush off to the girls' dorms where Wendy had retired for the night. Gray was clearing off a table and Natsu carefully set her down on it, not looking like he was quite ready to release her form from his arms. Levy tumbled a little as she made her way over to the table.
Lucy was pale, her breath dragging slowly and raggedly past her lips. She could see Natsu's hands trembling and found that his lip was clenched tightly between his teeth, eyes glued to the woman's face. Levy took a shuddering breath as she watched him and almost coughed at the strong smell of booze that suddenly emanated from her left side.
"Shit…" Cana's curse was low, but Levy heard her. She turned to the tarot card reading mage and saw that while Cana smelled horribly inebriated, her eyes were sharp and focused, glancing back and forth between Natsu and Lucy. "I can't believe it…"
The busty brunette reached up and grabbed Natsu's hand from where it had been clenching and flexing into his jacket, right over his heart. Once removed, the card user dropped his wrist as if the slayer had been using his magic, staring intently at Natsu's chest.
"No way…"
Before Levy could open her mouth to question her friend, Wendy Marvel burst through the door, carried by Charle. The small girl elbowed her way through the slowly growing crowd, her cropped hair swaying with each motion. Her eyes widened and the air around her stilled when she laid eyes on Lucy.
"Natsu-san! Please bring her to the back room!" As the mage did just that, she hurried behind him. Levy made a motion to follow, as did several other guild members, but Charle rose in front of the door and spread her wings out impressively.
"Let Wendy do her work without any distractions."
Levy could only stare at the white exceed. Makarov stepped beside her and when she met his solemn eyes, she felt tears gathering. This couldn't be her fault, could it? Were they going to lose Lucy again?
Behind her, she barely heard Cana.
"Is this fate?"