AN: I can't even begin to tell you how hard this was to write. I don't know why it was so hard, but it was kind of torturous. So, I'm not sure how I feel about it. It turned out better than I originally thought it would, so that's good, but still not my best. I'm just glad that I finished it. Damn, it was hard. I actually have a much better idea for the next couple of chapters, so that's something to look forward to, right?
Sam woke to a happy squeal. He looked next to him to find his bed empty. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands before looking through his bedroom door. He was sure they closed it the night before, but it was open. He didn't see either Andy or Boo and he shook his head, sure he had made the sound up in his head. He rolled over onto his stomach and pulled his pillow over his head, convinced that she must have taken Boo out for his morning walk.
Then, Sam heard unintelligible babbling and ripped the pillow from his head and sat up. He looked around his room—too small for anyone to really hide—and noticed Andy's feet on the floor near the foot of his bed. When he looked on the other side of his bed he saw Boo's body in a similar position. He laid on his stomach, his head hanging over the end of his bed, and looked down to see Andy on her back and Boo on his stomach. Their bodies were going in opposite directions, but their heads met in the middle of the room. Andy's head was turned toward the dog's and Boo was licking her forehead over and over.
"What are you doing?" Sam asked and Andy looked up at him with an amused smile. He raised an eyebrow and she pushed up on her elbows to bring her face closer to his, kissing him quickly before falling back down to Boo's level.
"We're just talking," she answered, folding her arms beneath her head.
"He's a dog," Sam reminded her and she smiled again. "He doesn't talk."
"Okay," she laughed. "I was talking. I missed him and he seemed to miss me."
"I'm sure he did," Sam laughed before rolling off of the bed. He didn't really want to talk about his week away again. He was kind of drained after the whole thing, but he could tell she was too. "Want breakfast?" He asked as he left the room.
He heard both Andy and Boo scurry up to follow him and when he peered quickly over his shoulder, she was zipping up his sweatshirt while Boo trotted happily next to her.
"I should go," she said quietly, slowly.
Sam stopped and turned toward her completely—surprised to find her so close to him. He actually had to catch her before she walked into his chest. Her hands landed there and his gripped her at her waistline. He smiled and she relaxed against him.
"You don't have togo," he told her and she shook her head while twining her arms around his neck.
"I do," she said and he leaned in to kiss her lightly on the cheek. "Space can be good."
"I thought space was for losers?" He asked, quoting her and she bit her lip.
"I was young and naïve when I said that," she smiled tentatively and he rolled his eyes.
"That was only a couple of months ago," he reminded her and she shrugged. "You know I'm sorry, right? I am. I messed up."
"Sam," she said, smiling softly as one of her hands trailed down to his chest. He waited for her to continue, pulling her even closer to his body. "I'm not mad. I forgive you. I get it. That's why I think it could be a good idea. I don't want things to fall apart."
Sam nodded and kissed her, hugging her against him. She stood taller and buried her face in his neck, running a hand down the back of his head. "I'll give you a ride," he said and she pulled back to smile at him.
"I missed you, too, you know?" she told him quietly and he nodded his confirmation, letting out a deep breath against her cheek. "Good."
"So, like, why did he leave?" Gail asked.
"Personal reasons," Andy answered, using the sweatshirt she'd taken from his apartment the day before as a blanket as she did her homework in bed.
"And you're okay with that?"
"We talked it out and we're good," she said, nodding. "I'm okay with it."
"I don't believe you," Gail said and Andy rolled her eyes before looking at her.
"I'm okay with it," she repeated and Gail laughed before getting up and walking to the door.
"Me and Chris are going to the dining hall for dinner. You want to come?"
"Sure," Andy sighed, getting up. She pulled on Sam's sweatshirt and zipped it up and she and Gail went to the hallway to find Chris and Dov waiting.
"I heard you were kind of a bitch to my girlfriend on Saturday," Dov said as the four of them started for campus.
"I didn't realize we were calling her your girlfriend," Gail said and Dov ignored her and continued to stare at Andy.
"I was," she said. "I need to apologize. It wasn't her I was mad at."
"So, you are mad at Sam?" Gail said, turning toward her with wide eyes and a sly smile.
"I was," Andy corrected, rolling her eyes. "I'm not anymore."
"Where was he?" Chris asked.
"Scarborough," she told him, playing with the end of her sleeve. "That's all anyone is getting out of me on the topic of Sam's missing week."
Her friends all went silent and they walked the rest of the way to the dining hall that way. They had all listened to her freak out over the week Sam was gone and, so, they were all curious. But, Andy wasn't at liberty to tell them why he left. That was his story to tell. Not that he would, but if he wanted people to know, he would be the one to share it.
When they got into line, Chris and Dov started talking and Gail looked at Andy. "It's okay to be mad at him," she said and Andy nodded. "I mean, it's okay not to be mad at him, too, but he still left. With no word."
"He had his reasons," Andy shrugged and Gail hesitated before nodding.
"Hey, kids."
Andy turned to smile at Oliver as he fell into line behind them. "Hi," she said and Sam entering the dining hall caught her eye. She didn't even hear what Oliver said to her.
"Earth to McNally," he teased, waving his hand in front of her face and she blinked rapidly before focusing on him. "How's Sam? I heard he was back."
"Ask him," she said, nodding toward him as he neared the group and Oliver turned to look at him. Andy couldn't help but notice the slight scowl on Oliver's face. She also saw Sam pick up on it before slowing down just a bit.
"Hey," Sam said—slowly, carefully. Andy took a step away from Gail and Sam shuffled into the spot next to her. She put her arm across his back, underneath where his backpack ended, and he kissed her quickly on the temple. "Funny seeing you here," he said and she shrugged with a smile.
"How've you been?" Oliver asked and Sam looked at him as Andy watched on, biting her lip.
"Okay," Sam answered, nodding.
Andy twisted her fingers in Sam's belt loops and glanced at Gail who was also watching Sam and Oliver's exchange. It was tense and Andy was having flashbacks from her conversation with Sam on Saturday. She remembered how mad she was when she first saw him, how utterly pissed she was that he just disappeared without so much as a text, and she knew Oliver was feeling similarly.
Sam felt Andy's hand travel to his belt loops, therefore tightening her grip on him, but he kept his eyes on his best friend. Oliver wasn't saying anything more, he wasn't asking questions, he didn't even acknowledge Sam's one word answer. He just looked at him and Sam looked back. It was a standoff and, to some extent, Sam understood the look on Oliver's face. He understood the anger there, but he just wanted to move past all of it.
"Want to get some real food?" He asked suddenly and Sam glanced down at Andy as she removed her arm from around him. "Maybe hit up the diner near my place?"
Sam considered the suggestion, knowing full well what Oliver was getting at, and he finally nodded. "Sure," he said, reaching for Andy's hand. "One sec?"
"Okay," Oliver nodded. Sam pulled Andy away from the group as they moved forward in line.
"Someone's in trouble," she said once they were out of earshot.
"Yeah, he doesn't take silence well," Sam nodded and Andy stepped closer to him and held onto the straps of his backpack.
"I know the feeling," she reminded him. Sam swallowed and nodded, looking down at her until she cracked a small smile. "I'm sure he's just glad you're okay."
"Is that a feeling you know, too?"
"It is, actually," Andy said, dropping her hands and stepping back again. "Just don't try and break up with him. He might not fight you on it," she said before turning back.
"Andy," he called and she stopped, hesitating before turning back toward him. He walked over to her and pulled gently on the bottom of her shirt—bringing her closer.
"I know," she said quickly, not even letting him say anything. He wasn't sure he knew what she did. That he was sorry? That he never should have let his mind wander to a breakup? "We're fine."
"Are you sure?" He asked and she nodded before standing on her toes to kiss him quickly. "Okay," he agreed and she smiled tightly before walking away again.
Slowly, but surely, Sam followed behind her and walked right up to Oliver. "Are you ready?" He asked and Sam nodded.
They walked outside together quietly, Sam following closely behind Oliver with his head turned down. It had cooled down considerably since he got out of class, but it was warmer than other nights had been recently. It reminded him that spring was actually happening and that meant Jerry's birthday was coming up.
"When's Jerry's birthday party? " He asked Oliver just so he'd have something to say. Oliver stopped at Sam's truck and turned toward him with one raised eyebrow. "What?"
"It's on Friday," he answered and Sam nodded. "Bonfire at the house. Have you talked to him since you got back into town?"
"I haven't really talked to anyone," Sam admitted. "Just… Andy."
"Oh, good, so it wasn't me you were ignoring," Oliver said and Sam sighed. "Let's go."
Sam watched as he climbed into the passenger side of his truck before getting in himself. He looked across his bench seat to see Oliver getting comfortable in the farthest corner, pulling his jacket tighter around him. "Do you just want to say what you have to say to me?" Sam asked and Oliver pursed his lips and shook his head.
"No, I'm starving," he answered and Sam sighed before driving off to the diner near Oliver's apartment.
The drive was as quiet as the walk to the truck had been. Eventually, it started to rain a little and Sam kept his eyes trained to the road in front of him, listening to the sound of the falling drops. From the corner of his eye he could, just barely, see Oliver looking out his window, glancing over at him every so often. Sam knew he had much more to say, much more to chastise him about, but he also knew that he'd be much more appeasing with some food in his stomach.
As soon as they sat down at Oliver's favorite booth—the one right by the window—they were handed menus and waters. Sam drank his water, already knowing what he was going to order, and waited for Oliver to decide between his typical sandwich and the cheeseburger he sometimes went with. When he closed his menu finally, Sam sat up and waited for him to say something.
"Do you have any idea what you did to that girl, Sammy?" He asked and Sam's eyes widened on their own.
"What are you- McNally?" He asked, scratching his jaw.
"Yeah," Oliver nodded. "You know your girlfriend that you didn't contact for a week while you were… God knows where?"
"Scarborough," he said—quickly and quietly.
"Great," Oliver laughed humorlessly. "Do you know what she went through last week?"
"That's what you're worried about?" Sam asked, crossing his arms on top of the table. "Her? We've been friends for six years and, as much as I care about Andy, I'm a little offended you're more worried about her than me?"
"Come on, Sam," Oliver said, leaning across the table to emphasize his next point. "Of course I'm worried about you. But you're here now and I know that means you're working through whatever drove you away in the first place. We'll talk about that, but I want you to understand what she went through last week. I want you to really get it because I don't think she's going to be the one to bring it up."
"We talked about it on Saturday, Oliver," Sam sighed and Oliver shook his head as he looked down at the table. "I screwed up, but I had my reasons. She gets it."
"You almost broke her," Oliver said quietly before looking up at Sam with a steady, mildly threatening gaze. "I don't even want to know what would have happened if you decided not to come back or, worse, if something actually happened to you. Next time you decide to walk away from us all, at least let McNally know, will ya?"
Sam sat back and squeezed his eyes shut, running a hand over his face. When he opened his eyes, Oliver was watching him with the same expression on his face. "Yeah," he nodded and Oliver smiled faintly. "Okay. You're right."
"So, do you want to tell me what happened?" Oliver asked and Sam started to shake his head. "Because, despite what you think, I do care. You are my best friend, Brother. I don't want to see you falling down some hole you dig yourself. I'm here, Jerry's here, to make sure that doesn't happen. McNally's here."
"I know," Sam nodded, taking in a deep breath. Before long he was telling Oliver about what drove him away the week before.
Sam had called and asked Andy if he could pick her up on the way back to his apartment. She wasn't sure why since they didn't typically spend Mondays together, but she agreed, and she could practically hear the smile in his voice when he told her he'd be there in ten minutes.
She didn't mean to bring up him almost breaking up with her when they were talking in the dining hall, but it bubbled up and came out. She didn't want either of them to focus on what happened while he was gone or even what they talked about when he got back. She just wanted them to focus on school and life and moving forward together. So, she met him outside when he said he'd be there, and got into his truck with her backpack.
"Thanks for coming," Sam said as soon as the door shut behind her.
"Is everything okay?" Andy asked, pulling on her seatbelt as he drove away from the curb. "Did things with Oliver end up all right?"
"Yeah," he nodded, smiling over at her quickly. "No, everything's fine. I just wanted to- I don't know, make up for lost time?"
"I'm good with that," she promised and he smiled at her again. "But, I don't really want to talk about lost time anymore, Sam. We can get over it without talking about it. I'm done talking about it."
"That doesn't really sound the like Andy McNally I know and love," he said and she looked over at him and shrugged. "If you want to talk about it, I don't want to stop you. I know you're still mad and you should be, but if you can't get over it without talking about it, we can talk about it. We should, right?"
"Sam, I don't want to drive you away again," she said, clenching her fists against her thighs. "I want to go to your apartment and watch TV and pretend I never did in the first place."
As soon as the words left her mouth, Sam pulled up to the curb outside his building and stopped the car. He was turning toward her to say something, but she pushed open the door and walked inside before he could. She was taking a page out of his book and deciding not to dwell on things.
"Hey," he said, coming after her as she approached his door. She waited for him to open it, but he stopped when he finally reached her. "You did not drive me away. That was all me. It is not your fault, Andy."
"I don't want to talk about it," she said, taking the keys out of his jacket pocket. She unlocked the door and walked past Boo to the couch.
"I do," he said, slamming the door behind him before leaning over to pat Boo behind his ears.
"No you don't," Andy laughed, turning on the TV and throwing the remote onto the coffee table. She heard Sam sighing as he rounded the couch, dropping his heavy leather jacket onto the arm. He picked the remote up and flipped the TV off, sitting down on the coffee table directly in front of her.
"I don't want to fight," Sam said softly and Andy agreed with a heavy nod. "But I want to talk about this because, deep down, so do you."
Andy hung her head and pulled her knees to her chest, keeping her arms tight around her shins. She glanced up, through her eyelashes—trying to be subtle—to see Sam watching her closely and she laid her forehead on top of her knee.
"Andy," he said and she sighed before looking up at him again, this time full on. "Come on," he pled and she threw her head back before shaking herself off and planting her feet on the floor.
"I know we talked this to death the other night," she said slowly and he nodded for her to continue. "And I don't really want to deal with it, but I also don't want it to happen again. I was a mess last week when I realized you were gone and no one, not even Oliver and Jerry, knew where you were. I can't do that again, Sam. I don't want you to have to do it again—alone."
She was surprised to see a small smile on his face, so surprised that she took hold of it and pulled herself closer. "What are you doing?" He asked with a laugh and she kissed him.
It shocked him for a second but she felt his hands on her hips as he kissed her back, licking his way into her mouth. She reveled in the feel of him there with her—so present and open—and she moved to slide onto his lap so she could slide her arms around his neck to hold him tighter.
"I don't want you to feel run out of your own house," she said when they finally broke apart at the lips. "I want you to talk to me or, at least, talk to someone. You're not alone here, Sam. There are so many people here that care about you. Most of all, me," she smiled and he nodded before kissing her again quickly.
"I know that," he promised and she nodded, sliding closer to his body on his lap. He lifted one hand off of her thigh to brush a piece of hair out of her face and left it on her cheek, brushing his thumb down the side of her nose and then her lips. "I am sorry, McNally."
"Sam," she smiled, running one of her hands down the soft hair on the back of his head—once then twice. "I don't want you to be sorry, okay? I want you to really understand how much I love you and how much I care about you. I'm in this thing, you know? I'm—as desperate as it sounds—I'm yours. So, when you're having a bad day or you're freaking out about something, I want to know that. I want to know what's in your head. I want to help you. I love you. That's what I'm here for—you."
"I'll do my best," Sam said and she nodded. "I've learned a lot from you these past few months, you know? I never used to chase a girl just so we could talk."
Andy laughed and he smiled, shaking his head. "Well, we don't have to talk anymore," she promised, standing up with an outstretched hand. He tried holding in a smile and she wiggled her fingers in his face until he laughed and let her pull him to stand. "We have much better things to do than talk right now," she reminded him as she pulled him toward the bedroom.