Tweek grabbed his jacket and headed out to follow Craig. He realized he should have also grabbed a beanie or something to cover his head. It wasn't very difficult to notice him with hair like his. Whilst rummaging his drawer frantically to find something appropriate, he stumbled across a blue fleece chullo with a yellow poof ball on top. Tweek brought it up to his face, inhaled it's scent and sighed.
Definitely one of Craig's.
Tweek's stomach tightened with anxiety. What was his boyfriend getting into right now? No time to waste. Tweek found a black beanie and put it on quickly.
…
Tweek reached the crossroads towards which he saw Craig going and looked around. Not a moment too later, he spotted him, walking towards SoDoSoPa and the poor people (meaning McCormicks) neighborhood. Kenny was on friendly terms with Tweek, but the same couldn't be said about Craig. They didn't hate each other, but it wasn't as if they liked to hang out with each other, either. This didn't look like a good sign. Why would Craig go there? Was it some shady deal he had with Kenny? What if they had a meth lab in the garage once again and Craig was involved somehow? Many catastrophic scenarios, one worse than the other, popped up in Tweek's mind. Resolutely, he kept following Craig.
A while later, Craig has indeed stopped in front of Kenny's house. What did Craig want from him?
If Tweek could get up to the balcony of Steed's, maybe he could overhear something. Going through The Rusty alley was out of the question, it was directly in Craig's line of sight. Maybe he could go around the Bi The Garage ...
...
Craig has finally reached his destination. He stood in front of the single-story house (if it could be called that) in the midst of SoDoSoPa. Brand new pavement, part of the development of this vibrant art district, surrounded it, but there was a sort of an island in front of it, surrounded by a tall stone curb, with a rusty old station wagon, with its old, threadbare and somewhat deflated tires on two of the wheels (the other two were missing altogether) standing there on a patch of a dirty lawn that was mostly reduced to mud, further stained by the carbon black oily sludge, slowly oozing from the bottom of the sump and dripping down on ground underneath. The house had a faded color that was peeling off in places. Few windowpanes were cracked and patched with a piece of transparent plastic and a length of duct tape. It was as intended by the architect who designed SoDoSoPa, in order to promote diversity, and show that even the low-income residents (Kenny's family) could feel like they belong in the new SoDoSoPa neighborhood, whether they liked it or not. They didn't. The SoDoSoPa district was kitschy, Kenny's house in the midst of all of these upscale businesses was an eyesore, and the whole idea was as ridiculous as everything else this town ever came up with.
Craig hoped Kenny would be home. Kenny may have looked like an ordinary lower-class all-American boy that you'd find the likes of anywhere around the country, but he was anything but ordinary. For one, he could never die permanently. Anytime something fatal happened to him, which happened more often than not, he'd be back, usually the day right after, sometimes a bit later, but he came back nonetheless, looking and being exactly the same as he was before his premature demise. Two, he has probably had more sexual encounters than all of his peers combined. Kenny liked to screw around, and regardless of his redneck-ish upbringing, he did not limit himself to the opposite sex only. And he started early as well. Too early in fact. When he was nine, he voluntarily gave head to a guy during a live FM radio broadcast for $10. Craig figured that if there was something sexual a guy could possibly do with another person, Kenny's most likely had a hands-on experience, so whatever he wanted to ask, Kenny would know the answer.
Craig took the remaining steps towards the house and rang the doorbell.
When no-one answered, he rang the doorbell again. Or rather, he pressed the doorbell button, but there was no sound. After a closer look, he found out just why – the pair of twisted, bare wires sticking out of the doorbell button didn't lead to anything that could possibly make a sound.
Craig knocked on the door instead, worried for a while that merely a feather-light knock might cause their imminent collapse. Luckily, it didn't, and soon enough, he was met with the cocky, grinning face of the quasi-immortal blonde teen, dressed only in boxers and a worn, almost see-through, plain white t-shirt. Interestingly, he managed to look good in anything, even something as unflattering as this. Kenny, not unlike Tweek, had short messy hair, but of slightly darker shade of blonde, and not messy in the spastic-but-still-looking-cute kind of way, more like the too-poor-for-proper-hair-care-but-still-looking-effortlessly-cool kind of way. He was taller than Tweek, but apparently skinnier.
Why was Craig comparing the appearances of the two anyway?
"Craig Tucker, what a surprise. Are you here make my day better?" Kenny smiled at him seductively.
"Fuck's sake Kenny. What you take me for, a male escort?"
"Of course not. I thought you and Tweek would be exclusive. But if that's not the case, I won't say no, 'cuz you are hot." Kenny purred, touching Craig's chin with his index finger and going lower, over his adam's apple, going lower still -
Craig took his hand and pushed it down. This guy was fucking intolerable, with his shameless flirting and being way too touchy-feely, Craig thought.
"Geez, McCorming, get your mind out of the gutter sometimes. I'm not here for that. Speaking of exclusive, aren't you by any chance screwing, 'cough!', I mean dating, Butters now?"
"Butters and I have an open relationship." Kenny shrugged.
Craig scoffed. "Of course you do."
"Now Craig, don't jump to conclusions. It's not without a good reason. Anyway, if you're not here to fuck me, why are you here?"
"I just need a favor. Should be something you're good at."
"A favor, huh?"
"Yea. Not that kind of favor! Kind of. Just a little advice, all right?"
"U-huh." Kenny raised his eyebrows. "'Quid pro quo' ring any bells?"
"Stop trying to appear as if you're not a piece of poor white trash, Kenny." Craig scoffed. "And I'm still not sleeping with you in return for your favor, if that's what you're implying."
"Aw, that sucks. You're no fun at all, Craig."
"No, it doesn't. You know what, if you want something in return, how about you remember when you and your group of douchebags swindled me out of my hundred dollars worth of birthday money, that none of you ever bothered to give back? You help me out and I'll forget all about that."
"Okay, first off, if you want something from me, stop calling my friends douchebags. They're not douchebags. Not even Cartman, though that's only because he's something way worse than that. Now, what is it that you need?"
"Not here dude." Craig muttered. "Can we do this inside? Is anyone of your folks home?"
"Just my parents, my dad's brother, mom's cousin and his son, my dad's brother's girlfriend, her mother, my brother and his girlfriend, my little sister, and some guy named Bob also with his girlfriend."
"Not a lot of privacy here then?"
"Good guess."
"Fine," Craig said. "Let's go to my house."
"That'll be better. Let me just put something on."
A while later, Kenny came out of his house wearing a pair of light blue jeans and his signature orange parka.
"And seeing as it's almost noon, I want a lunch too! It's been a while since I had a proper meal for lunch." That wasn't news, Craig could tell by his skinny figure. "I'm sure your mom will have something delicious for my taste buds. Other than her bush…"
"McCormick, I fucking warn you…"
"Alright, alright." Kenny raised his hands defensively. "I'm just kidding, man, don't get your panties in a twist."
"That thing with my mom's… that, wasn't funny back then and it isn't fucking funny now."
"It was pretty funny actually. You just have a shitty sense of humor, dude. If it was my mom, I'd laugh my ass off."
"That's because you're a pervert."
"True that." Kenny winked at him.
...
Tweek has finally made it round Kenny's house and up the stairs to the balcony of Steeds, staying unspotted by Craig or Kenny, and listened closely to catch some bits of their conversation.
"Not here dude! Can we do this inside? Is anyone of your folks home?"
"Just my parents, my dad's brother, mom's cousin and his son, my dad's brother's girlfriend, her mother, my brother and his girlfriend, my little sister, and some guy named Bob also with his girlfriend."
"Not a lot privacy here then?"
"Good guess."
"Fine. Let's go to my house."
"That'll be better. Let me just put something on."
What the fuck! Tweek couldn't believe his own ears. Was Craig seriously saying that?
Craig. The love of his life, with Kenny, of all people. 'He was inviting Kenny to his home, right after spending a night with me! And I was so sure he would never...', ran through Tweeks head.
Tweek sat down on one of the chairs, expecting a panic attack any minute now.
"Ngh! What did I do wrong?" Tweek rasped as he pulled his hair.
He just sat there as slight tremor took him over and tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He was slowly taking in what he just overheard. He still couldn't believe it, but the thought that he would lose Craig was always his worst fear, and now that fear has formed in a real shape right in front of him.
But was it really real, or was he having paranoid thoughts, as he tended to, and this was all just one big misunderstanding?
'..it is not the world as it is.' The unforgettable voice echoed in his mind.
"Aaargh!" Fucking ghost of human kindness. Bullshit ghost, he was a trickster whose real goal was to kidnap him. That was one of the most traumatizing experiences Tweek ever had to go through. Why would what he had to say be of any value?
Even a crook may be right sometimes.
Tweek wiped the tears from his face and stood up. Tweek was a fighter, and he wouldn't give up so easily without a fight. And if Kenny was trying to steal his boyfriend? The fucker would pay! Friendship be damned.
…
"Hi mom."
"Hello Mrs. Tucker."
"Oh hello boys", Craig's mom peeked into the hall and greeted them. "Lunch is almost ready, I'm making roast beef with potatoes,..." She stopped mid-sentence as she noticed the blond beside Craig was not Tweek, and peered at him questioningly with one eyebrow raised.
"I invited Kenny for lunch with us today." Craig stated simply, not bothering to ask his mom if it's fine with her.
"And Tweek?"
"He's not coming over today."
Craig gave his mom a 'don't ask' look and flipped her off. She returned the gesture.
…
"Dude, what was that about?" Kenny asked as he sat on Craig's bed, leaning against the headboard, Craig sitting on the edge of his bed, forcing himself not to look at the over-confident blond, who just made himself comfortable as if he was at home here, so he wouldn't feel the need to flip him off.
"Mom found out about dad's affairs back then with the Troll Trace program. She probably thinks I take after him or something."
"Mmhhm."
"The Asian chicks can think I'm a manipulative cheater all they like, and I couldn't care less really, but my own mom could know better."
"Well, maybe she's right." Kenny said with a grin, leaned forward and ran his hand up Craig's thigh, only to have it swatted away.
"Stop that shit already!"
"Alright, alright. So what is this super-important thing you want from me?" Kenny asked nonchalantly.
"Ugh." Shit. Why Kenny. Why the fucking hell, Kenny? Fuck, what was Craig thinking. Why did Craig think that him, of all people, would be the right person to go to? That was such a fucking stupid idea, as he realized now and regretted it immediately.
"That hard, huh? Well, if you changed your mind about telling me and brought me all the way here for nothing, that's fine with me man. I still want the lunch though."
"Fuck's sake. Okay, fine." Craig thought about how to approach the subject carefully. "What's your opinion on switching?"
"You mean in sex?"
"No, dick for brains, obviously I'm talking about fucking light bulbs." Craig said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. "Of course I mean sex."
"I don't see a problem with it. What, do you and Tweek want to try switching positions? Go for it. Seriously, is that all you really wanted to ask?" Kenny asked incredulously.
"Kind of. Well, I'm not sure if we want to – Tweek never mentioned it and I thought about it more than once… but it's just, wouldn't it be weird or something? Do you and Butters switch?"
"Well, no. Not that it matters if we do or don't, but..."
"But that's the point – you top, and it would be weird if Butters did, right? I mean..."
"I didn't say I top." Kenny shook his head curtly. "Not with Butters, anyway."
"Huh?" Craig's eyebrows rose. "But, you said..."
"I only said we don't switch." Kenny corrected.
"Wha-yea, but obviously you... I mean, if I look at you and Butters, clearly he is – " Craig rambled in confusion.
"Clearly he's what?" Kenny cut him off.
"I don't know, he's like… no offense, but he seems to me kinda… girly?… so I assumed…"
"You assumed what?"
Craig didn't answer, he just shook his head in confusion, so Kenny went on instead.
"So maybe you're right that our cute lil' Buttercup probably isn't going to win any Mr. Hypermasculine awards anytime soon, but that doesn't mean he couldn't top. Same goes for you and Tweek. Besides, Tweek isn't girly, really. And if he was, doesn't change a thing. Why would you even need to overthink this so much, man?"
"Well, I… I'm sorry, you know the history Tweek and I have with the Asian girls and yaoi and whatnot, so..."
"Dude, Craig. You didn't take that yaoi stuff too seriously, did you? It's a genre of fiction, Craig, you know that means – fiction? It's not supposed to be reality. You know that, right?"
"I don't know, I guess it's just…" Craig didn't know how to formulate it. How to explain that he couldn't rid himself of the sense of shame that he seemed to have associated with the idea of being on the receiving end, and yet didn't have a single problem with letting Tweek deal with it, who actually didn't bat an eyelash about it. It seemed impossible, at least not without coming off as a massive hypocrite. Craig thought Kenny would be in same situation as himself, and now that he learned that not only he wasn't, but also that Kenny was totally nonchalant about it. But that's just how Kenny was, he guessed. Craig never really thought about it, but now, face to face with Kenny, he realized he was kind of self-conscious, contrary to his 'I don't give a fuck' façade. Was there really no valid excuse he could come up with? Unless…
"…I mean, what if someone, like my friends, catch us in the act? Don't you ever worry about that?"
"Hell, I already lost count on how many times I was getting nailed and someone walked in us, whether it was Stan, Kyle, or fucking Cartman - who you can bet won't pass up a chance to call someone a fag, you know, in order to cover up that he might be one himself. As if we all didn't know about his boner for Kyle." Kenny chuckled mockingly.
"Okay, well… But you kinda do have the reputation of a whore, so I guess it shouldn't really surprise anyone. Me on the other hand… If Token or Clyde walked in on me like that, I don't think I could ever look in their eyes again. What if they think differently of me after that?"
"Well," Kenny thoughtfully scratched his chin, "if they do, you could always hang out with us instead. We won't think differently of you, no worries." Kenny said with impish grin and patted Craig's shoulder. "Not even Cartman, in such case, would change his opinion of you. Though that might be because he basically thinks himself superior to everyone."
"Fuck no." Craig retorted. "I don't wanna be stranded in Peru again, or shot out into outer space or wherever the hell you crazy motherfuckers always end up!"
"Aw come on! We aren't as bad as you think… mostly. But I guess then you'll have to deal with your friends if they catch you in a... sticky situation. But seriously, I wouldn't sweat it. Token and Clyde are cool guys, and they aren't fucking stupid either; surely they realize how it works."
"Yea, but still. All the yaoi stuff about us, when you look at it, it just kinda seems... obvious, who's the, erm, 'seme'. " Craig air-quoted the last part. "So I'm guessing that's how Clyde and Token think it works."
"Like with me and Butters?"
"Kind of. Shit...", realization, how not everything is as it seems, smashed Craig in his face.
"I think it's all just in your head, dude."
"So, you and Butters…", Craig was trying to make sense of the newfound information, "when you guys fuck, you bottom every time?"
"Yea, I do, unless we do other stuff. There are other methods how two guys can get each other off than pound ass all the time. But, giving or receiving, sex is sex and if it feels good, I don't really care if it's one or the other."
"But why – with Butters?" Craig was trying to understand.
"Long story." Kenny shrugged.
"I got time."
"You really wanna know?"
"Yea, I'm curious."
"Fine then. But don't tell anybody, or I'm gonna kill you, make it look like an accident and have sympathy sex with Tweek afterwards, got it?"
"Yea whatever, it's personal and super secret etc., etc. So what's the story?"
Kenny contemplated for a while if he could trust Craig or not. He decided he would, since Craig trusted Kenny enough to approach him with his own personal stuff – the kind of stuff that made him step out of his comfort zone.
"Butters has some kind of a childhood trauma. I don't know what exactly happened to him, he wouldn't tell me the details. It was back in fourth grade. We all once got pissed at Cartman when Stan's mom got us a bucket of KFC, and that fat fuck ate all the skin from every piece. We decided to that instead of letting him get to us, we'd ignore him completely, remember that?"
"Yeah?"
"So, we ignored him and that idiot actually thought he was dead, but trapped on Earth. Butters didn't know about it so he didn't ignore Cartman, and Cartman convinced him he was a ghost… poor Butters, he was so naïve back then…
Anyway, his fucking parents thought he was just being delusional and had him hospitalized, and I don't know what fucked up things they done with him there, but it shook him up bad... Like I said, I don't know the details, I just know that Butters gets extremely anxious just from the though of receiving. So I don't ask him to, ever."
"Dude..." Craig exclaimed in disbelief. "I'd fucking murder that fat prick if I were you." Craig was certain that Butters was perhaps the nicest guy on planet, and if Cartman, the exact opposite, caused anything like that to happen to him...
"So would I, but Butters insisted that it wasn't all Cartman's fault… that he wasn't directly responsible. Even though I'm sure he had a lot to do with it, but I didn't want to pry, so..."
"That's exactly what he would say! Butters is just way too forgiving. If I was you, I'd kill his fat ass."
"And I told Butters that too, but he said it wouldn't make him feel better. And actually I think his parents are more to blame. And if Butters doesn't want me kill Cartman's ass, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want me to do the same with his mom and dad. Even if they are fucking insane, his dad especially, I'm sure killing your boyfriend's parents isn't a very nice thing to do." Kenny chuckled sarcastically.
"I guess not." Craig fell silent for a short moment. "Okay, so why are you telling me this again?"
"Because you wanted to know why Butters fucks me and not the other way around?"
"Oh yea. I'm still having trouble trying to picture that."
"Well, just so you know, it works out fine for us. Of course, I like to stick my dick in someone quite often, but I can't demand that from Butters, so that's why I said we have an open relationship, and with a good reason too. Butters is okay with it if I have sex with other people, as long as I'm being safe. Same goes for him."
"For him?"
"Butters also sees that Canadian girlfriend of his every now and then."
"And you're sure they are fucking?"
"I'm more than sure they are fucking. We were at a party once and, well... I could still hear them over the music. She's really loud. And we did have a really hot threesome once."
"Too much information."
"Don't ask things you don't want to know then."
"Smart-ass… So what should I do?"
"Just ask Tweek if he's interested in switching, and if he is, do it. It's that simple."
"I still don't know... won't it hurt?"
"Only if you actively resist it. You need to be completely relaxed, alright? Just, allow yourself to be fucked." Kenny shrugged casually. "As weird as that sounds. If you feel like you need to be in control, do the prep on yourself, and sit down on him. But before anything, make sure you're clean down there. It's best to avoid spicy food, or things could get really shitty." Kenny chuckled at his own pun while Craig flipped him off.
"It's also a good idea to train how to control your muscles. There's this trick how to get your ass relaxed, really simple, wanna know how it works?"
"Okay.." Slight tinge of red creeped its way up Craig's face. It did not escape his notice, however, that Kenny was not being his usual cocky, grinning, flirtatious self while he was giving him rather a decent explanation. Without a hint of awkwardness or discomfort. Simply, as if he was explaining to someone how to repair a flat tire or tune a guitar. He seemed… like a pro. As if sex was his livelihood. It almost was, except he didn't charge anything for it. It was now that Craig realized, that Kenny was a good choice after all. Kenny just knew this stuff, and Craig, while skeptical at first, eventually saw that what he at first thought impossible wasn't that difficult, actually. However...
"There's still one problem. You're at least what, four inches taller than Butters, so how does that work? I'm half a foot taller than Tweek. So when I'm on top of him…" Craig paused as he pointed to his eyes. Suddenly he couldn't find the right words. How would he explain this to Kenny, for whom many of his encounters were just meaningless sex, whereas for Craig, in those heated times of intimacy with Tweek, meaningless wasn't even a word. He didn't want to disclose such details. How the differences of their physique made such perfect connection possible. How he could be on top of Tweek, inside Tweek, embracing Tweek, ravaging Tweek's beautiful lips with his own, as he couldn't get enough of his taste, and staring deep into Tweek's gorgeous green eyes, all at the same time. It was impossible to describe with words. The only way for someone to understand would be to try it themselves, but no way in hell would Craig ever let that happen. Only Craig would ever have the privilege of tasting Tweek, no one else. Only over Craig's dead body, and maybe not even then.
Kenny, however, seemed to have caught on.
"I think I get what you mean. But you can try other positions than missionary."
"Like what, face down, ass up? I don't think I'd like that..."
"How do you know if you haven't even tried it? But, if you think so, you can always ride him, or maybe try this – let me show you."
"What?!"
"Chill, it's just a demonstration, look, lie down on your left side – yep, like that. Now let me get behind you…" Kenny said as he positioned himself on the bed behind Craig, who didn't look very excited about this 'demonstration', but cooperated nonetheless.
"Don't get any cute ideas though, you fucker!"
"Don't worry," Kenny chuckled. "See, perfect." Kenny placed his right hand on Craig's right hip and started thrusting his pelvis provocatively, which didn't seem to impress Craig.
"Okay, I get it. You can get off me now."
"Yeah. But you see, even when you're taller than me, this way we can keep eye contact and kiss just fine, so intimacy is not a problem. Or I could just kiss your nape like this, and…"
*CRASH!*
Both boys jumped at the sudden sound of door flying open and their eyes widened in shock.
Standing is the doorway was the very last person Craig wanted to catch him like this – Tweek. Mixture of shock, sadness and incomprehensible rage was what his expression could be described as.
Tweek growled in anger and moved forward towards them, not bothering to comprehend Craig's feeble, stammering attempts at explaining the situation, or feel any remorse for the absolutely mortified looking Kenny, who just muttered something about not wanting to die for the second time this week, before a pair of strong hands clasped around his neck in a vice-like grip and lifted him off the surface of Craig's bed and pinned him against the wall.
…
Tweek rang the Tuckers' doorbell. Usually he'd just let himself in; he was considered a member of the Tucker family. He even had his own key, but this time he decided he wouldn't just walk in. He wasn't sure now where he really stood. Craig's mom answered the door shortly after.
"Tweek? I didn't expect you here, Craig came home a while ago with that McCormick boy and said you weren't coming today – is something wrong between you two?"
"K-Kenny is here?" Tweek asked shakily.
"Yes, they went upstairs, what is going on..." she trailed off as Tweek moved past her with a clear target in his head, ascended the stairs and stopped before the door, pressing his ear against it.
"...this way we can keep eye contact and kiss just fine, so intimacy is not a problem. Or I could just kiss your nape like this, and…"
That was the trigger for the irrational part of Tweek's brain to override his rational side. He barged in and witnessed a sight that would eliminate any doubt he might have had before. Kenny was apparently successfully trying to take Tweek's boyfriend for himself. Kenny was dead meat.
Tweek was vaguely aware of his actions - grabbing Kenny, pinning him against the wall, squeezing his left hand tight around his neck…
Kenny tried to push him off, but Tweek had more strength in his arms than Kenny had. Training and better nourishment had a lot to do with it. And now, since he was basically defending his territory, Kenny's prospects looked grim. Tweek raised his right hand, balled in a fist, to deliver a crushing blow.
If only it wasn't for Kenny's pleading face and the distant voice of...
"Tweek, NO!" Craig shouted with a real concern in his voice and held Tweek back before he could hit Kenny. Craig rarely sounded like that. His usual voice sounded monotone and seemingly emotionless. There were only two known cases when it didn't, either when he was being lovey-dovey with Tweek, or when a real serious shit was about to hit the fan. This would be the latter.
Tweek let go of Kenny and backed away from him, dropping down on the bed and started shaking in a panic attack.
Craig recognized Tweek's panic attack when he saw one, and embraced him tight immediately, but Tweek seemed unresponsive.
"Tweek." Craig tried.
"Gah."
"Tweek, it's okay baby. You're fine." Craig had to use all the Tweek-soothing powers he had in reserve. "Look at me please." Craig gently cupped his face and made Tweek look at him, whose broken look found Craig's eyes. "I wasn't cheating on you, okay? I know it looked like it from where you were standing, but I'm being serious. Kenny was just... he was just... it was stupid… he was – showing me – how to… how that position we were in, works, that's all. Heh. Please, do you understand me?" Craig tried to chuckle poorly.
"And I'm supposed to believe that?" Tweek replied weakly.
Craig pulled back a little and peered straight into his green eyes. "Tweek, please, believe me. I would never cheat on you. Least of all with Kenny!" Craig emphasized, to which Kenny responded with a pretense-offended gasp and folded his arms over his chest. Not that he was actually offended.
Tweek looked up into Craig's eyes. There was no lie to be found there. His eyes were sincere and his expression a pleading one.
"Ngh…"
"Remember what I told you earlier? How said I don't think I couldn't love anybody who isn't you. You're only one."
Tweek's vibrating intensified before he all but threw himself onto Craig, buried his face in Craig's chest and held him in a rib-crushing embrace. Craig could be so sappy at times. And he loved it. He couldn't stay mad at this dork. He let his paranoia get the better of him. He'd have to interrogate Craig later about that 'demonstration' though. But he would trust him. Of course he would trust him.
He looked up at Kenny smiling sympathetically at him.
"I'm so sorry Ken. I almost..."
Kenny shook his head and reached out to ruffle Tweek's hair.
"No Tweek, it's me who should be sorry. It was just as Craig said. He just wanted... some new ideas, and I just had to fucking push it. It was so stupid of me. You had every right to be mad." Tweek chuckled. Yeah, typical Kenny, that's just how he is. He just doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself. "But I wasn't trying to steal Craig from you. You know I wouldn't do that to you."
Small noise escaped Tweek's lips, almost like a sob – or was it a giggle? Craig pulled back to search Tweek's face, there was a tear in his eye, but he was smiling. Soon they were both giggling, then Kenny joined in and soon they were all laughing like crazy persons, and couldn't stop for a while.
When Craig and Tweek caught their breath back, Tweek exchanged a serious look with Craig.
"You scared the fucking shit out of me."
"You scared the shit out of me, Tweek! You looked like you were about to kill Kenny, for god's sake!"
"Gah! I don't know what came over me, I just saw you two and my brain just kinda short circuit..."
"It won't happen again Tweek." Craig said sincerely and kissed him.
…
"Okay, I'm confused now, mind explaining yourself?"
"Change of plans mom, Tweek's staying for lunch as well." Craig stated matter-of-factly with his monotone voice, as if he was telling her it was 59°F outside today.
Craig's mom sighed. "Oh well. Just please, whatever you're planning then, do use protection, okay?" She knew it would be pointless if she tried to forbid them from doing 'anything', they'd just go and do 'it' anyway, so at least she would demand that they be safe about it. "Kids these days." She muttered under hear breath and shook her head.
"Mom! It's not like that. Kenny is just a friend!" Craig was shocked.
"Just a friend? I hardly ever see you two together." She gave him the same suspicious look as when he came home with Kenny earlier.
"Yes. Kenny is just a friend, so please, stop embarrassing me now!" Craig insisted and flipped her off, while Tweek, sitting beside him, red as a tomato, was trying hard not to burst out laughing. Kenny was just wearing his usual grin.
"Craig, I'm just worried about you, it's what mothers do. I just want to be sure my boy is safe."
"Mom, please, enough."
Tweek remembered how he was in a similar situation with his own parents earlier this morning, and what Craig had to say. He decided now would be the best time to return the favor.
"It's okay Mrs. Tucker. Craig likes it nice and boring, if you didn't know," Tweek assured her with a devilish smirk as he put his his arm around Craig's shoulders. "He's as safe as the Fort Knox."
"That's good to know Tweek." She smiled at him, while Craig stared at him in disbelief with his mouth open (What the fuck, Tweek? Do you think our sex is boring?), while Kenny was clearly enjoying the exchange.
"And you can call me Laura, how many times do I have to tell you?"
"Oh-kay." Tweek tried not to giggle, as he just managed to get his boyfriend flustered, which wasn't always easy.
"Ruby, come down for lunch!" Mrs. Tucker called out to her daughter.
….
"Thank you so much Mrs. Tucker" Kenny said courteously. He was finished first out of the five people sat around the Tucker's dining table, one chair at the head of table, where Thomas Tucker would normally sit, was empty because he had to be at work today. Tweek was sitting at the opposite side, with Craig on his right and Ruby on his left, who would be clinging to Tweek at every chance she got, as if he, and not Craig, was her beloved big brother. To her left there was Kenny, and opposite of Kenny, Craig's mom was sitting. "Your cooking is amazing! That was the best meal I had since… ever!"
"Oh please, it's just a roast beef sirloin. Do you want a second helping though? You look so thin…"
"Ah, no, I'm okay, thank you, I'd hate to be a bother..." Kenny tried, but Craig's mom was already adding more juicy slices of medium well roast beef and grilled potatoes to his plate.
"Oh hush, you need to eat more, there you go…"
"Well thank you. You're the best, how can I ever repay you."
Craig's mom smiled. "Oh don't worry about it, Craig's friends are always welcome here."
"That's so nice of you." Kenny smiled back at her and dug into his second helping.
…
The three boys stood up from the table. Kenny was ready to go home, and Craig knew that he would have some explaining to do, but before that, he took Kenny aside for a while as he was putting his parka on.
"Dude, seriously? Do you have to flirt with my mom too?"
"I wasn't! I'd never even dream of it!" Craig scowled at him. "Well, I was just complimenting her. That's all. Women like when you compliment them." Kenny shrugged as he tried (and failed) to look innocent.
"Whatever, just don't be so obvious next time."
"Okay, okay, I won't." Kenny smiled and nodded. "I promise." Kenny then remembered something Craig said.
"Craig?"
"Yea?"
"Am I your friend?"
"Um, yeah, I guess." Craig shrugged. "You know, when you're not being a perv at the moment, you're fine. More tolerable than the other three of your gang I guess."
"Well, thanks. I'm quite touched, actually."
"Sure, whatever."
"So, wanna hang out sometimes? You, Tweek, me, Butters..."
"We could."
"Okay. See you then, dude." Kenny said as he gave Craig a bro-hug and much to Craig's dismay, didn't omit a kiss on Craig's cheek, before putting his shoes on and departing out the front door.
Craig sighed after the door closed behind him and turned to Tweek. He smiled at him and headed upstairs.
...
"I hate that guy."
Tweek chuckled and shook his head.
"No you don't. You like Kenny. Everybody likes Kenny. He's a good guy."
"Okay, I don't hate him. He's just too much sometimes. Why does he have to flirt with everyone? I bet he'd flirt with my 70 year old grandma if he could."
"But, that's just Kenny. It's not like he always means it seriously. He always hits on me too, but he knows where the line he shouldn't cross is...", Tweek contemplated. "…usually."
"Yea, usually. Not always. That's why he needs to be kept in check, or you might find yourself in the middle of a Kenny-organized orgy, before you realize it."
"Still better than finding yourself in the middle of a desert, carrying a rocket launcher and a responsibility to save your so called friends from Steven Spielberg and his goons on your shoulders."
"Hehe. You're right." They had a laugh as they recalled some of the crazy moments South Park brought upon them in the past. Craig cherished moments like these. When he and Tweek would just kick back and relax, and he loved it so much, seeing Tweek happy and laughing. His laughter was the most magical sound, so pure and beautiful. As he saw his blissful smile, his heart threatened to beat its way out of his chest. Craig's breathing hitched. He was so overwhelmed with adoration, it was tangible.
Craig embraced Tweek and pulled him down on the bed, showering him with soft kisses all over. Tweek giggled and reciprocated happily.
Craig pushed himself up a bit and stared Tweek in his eyes.
"I'm in love with you Tweek."
"Oh really? I wasn't sure until now." Tweek smiled at him.
"Yep. Really. No kidding." Craig winked as he lay his head flat on Tweek's firm chest.
"I'm in love with you too." Tweek played with the flaps of Craig's hat for a while, before he buried his hand underneath the fabric and stroked Craig's hair.
"Craig?"
"Hmm?" Craig purred with his eyes closed, enjoying every bit of attention his boyfriend paid to his scalp.
"What was going on with you and Kenny? I…" Tweek decided against telling Craig he followed him and overheard a part of his conversation with Kenny. "When I came here, what were you two doing?"
Craig sighed and opened his eyes. He knew he'd have to have the possibly awkward talk with Tweek as he explained the situation to him, sooner or later.
"Tweek, I promise I never wanted to, and never did cheat on you, not even for one second."
"I know, and I'm sorry I didn't trust you as I should have. But Kenny said something about you wanting some new ideas? I just want to know. What ideas?"
"Okay, well…" Craig's ears turned slightly red. "I just wanted some expert advice, about, you know, different positions and such…" Craig said half-truthfully.
"Why though? I thought we were fine. I'm really satisfied with our sex life. Aren't you?"
"Oh really?" Craig asked with mild sarcasm, as he lifted himself up, straddled Tweek and pinned him down playfully. "Didn't you, like half an our ago, say I'm boring? And in front of my mom and Kenny, too?"
Tweek rolled his eyes, then pushed Craig over with ease and held him down firmly.
"I was jesting you fool!" Tweek laughed as he dipped down to kiss Craig. "I never thought you're boring! Our sex is anything but boring."
"That's good to know."
Tweek stared at Craig expectantly for a while, as if he knew that wasn't everything Craig wanted to say. And it didn't escape Craig's notice how Tweek was now on top of him, his firm grip on his elbows keeping him from getting up, and that he was rather aroused by it. Now may be the right time to ask…
"Tweek?"
"Hmm?"
"Would you, erm, like to switch? That you'd top?"
Tweek blinked twice and twitched a bit.
"What! You mean like, now?" He asked wide eyed.
"No not now. I mean like, sometimes. You know, we could break out of our routine."
"Oh. I guess so? I didn't think you wanted to bottom. Why didn't you ask sooner?"
Craig looked away and mumbled something like 'I was afraid to ask', which didn't escape Tweek and made him giggle a bit.
"Is that what you were talking about this morning? You were saying that I'd laugh at you?"
"Nope!"
"Liar, that's totally it!" And indeed, Tweek was barely holding back his giggles.
"Isn't! And stop laughing, or I'll take back what I said." Craig pouted.
"No you won't. Because you want me to ram my hard cock inside you, don't you?" Tweek teased him now.
"Ugh."
Tweek started dry humping him and continued. "Yea, you totally want it. I can see it in your eyes Craig, how much you want me to make you my bitch."
"Tweek…!"
Craig was hard, really fucking hard, and the assured way Tweek talked dirty to him, or how he was rubbing their crotches together and pretending to moan meanwhile (or was he moaning for real?) didn't make it any easier.
"This is so embarrassing…!"
"And it'll only get worse!" Tweek looked down at the tent in Craig's pants and grabbed a handful of it. "Craig can I touch your penis!" He said, reached inside Craig's underwear before he could even answer and took hold of his hard-on.
"Oh my god…"
"Shh..." Tweek kissed Craig and lifted his legs up, then he started to rub his own tenting pants over Craig's clothed ass, and reached his right hand back inside Craig's pants, focused on getting him off, rather than just being a tease. It took only a while, before:
"Tweek, you're gonna make me…" Craig came before he could finish it. He sighed, and trembled a bit at how powerless he felt. If Tweek could make him feel so good just by dry sex, how much better would it be if he let Tweek go all the way? Tweek, who peered at him with a predatory lust in his eyes, and then lay down next to him, so he could whisper in Craig's ear:
"You liked that."
"I did." He breathed.
"How about next weekend then?" Tweek smiled at him. "After we get back from Denver? I already have something special in store for you. It would be the perfect grand finale, if I get to fuck your tight ass afterwards." Tweek purred as he trailed his fingertip affectionately from Craig's chin down his V-neck.
Craig's eyes widened at the thought, and made up his resolve. He'd be ready. He pushed himself up and turned his head to look Tweek in his eyes.
"Okay." He then turned his eyes towards where he was feeling rather sticky, then back to Tweek, and added: "I need to, uhmm..." He gestured with his head at what was the result of Tweek's doing.
"Sure. I'll be downstairs. Talk to your mom a bit. Maybe play with Ruby for a while. She nearly wouldn't let me go after we were finished eating." Tweek chuckled and pressed a kiss on Craig's cheek before he got up and left his room.
Craig groaned in irritation. Ruby, his little sister, was so annoying. He'd have to remind her constantly that Tweek was his boyfriend! She was only twelve years old, yet she kept running her mouth all the time about how cute Tweek was, and she was always taunting Craig how one day she would steal Tweek from him. Clearly she only wanted Tweek for herself. Fuckin' little brat.
But first, Craig would have to get up and out of this sticky mess.
…
"Ruby, last fucking time, stop bothering MY boyfriend!" Craig snapped as he flipped off his sister, who was sitting on a couch behind Tweek and playing with his hair, tying each of his unruly blonde locks with tiny elastic ties, so they'd stick out even more than usually.
"It's okay Craig, she's not bothering me." Tweek quickly tried to defuse the sibling rivalry situation that threatened to explode in a violent manner like a canister of boiling nitroglycerin within any second. "We're having fun. Ngh." He twitched slightly as she pulled on one of his bangs a bit too hard.
"Yea Craig, unlike you, Tweek is actually a decent human being! How an asshole like you ever got to have such perfect boyfriend is beyond me." His sister scowled at her flabbergasted big brother.
"Shut the fuck up Ruby!"
"When I'm old enough, I'm gonna marry Tweek, and there's nothing you do to stop me!" She said definitely as she rested her temple on Tweek's shoulder blade affectionately, while snaking her arm around his abdomen. Tweek turned very red in his face, and his eyes went very wide at this.
"The hell you are, bitch!"
Forget defusing, all Tweek could do now was take cover from the blast.
"Craig, stop being rude to your sister!" Craig's mom yelled from the kitchen.
"She started it!" Craig yelled back, flipping his sister the bird and sending one towards his mom as well, even though she was out of the line of sight. He kicked a randomly misplaced throw pillow that lay on the living room floor in anger and turned around, proceeded to the entrance hall, put his sneakers on and went outside, slamming the door behind him for good measure, so hard the glass panes were close to shattering.
"Oh god…" Tweek muttered in a raspy voice.
"He's being such a baby! How can you even stand him!?"
"He's not so bad Ruby. I have to go after him." He turned around to face Ruby. "I'll see you soon, we'll do something fun the next time I visit, okay?"
"Okay. Bye Tweek!" She beamed at him.
"Bye Ruby." Tweek kissed her goodbye, then stood up and headed for the front door.
"See you soon Mrs. Tuck… Laura." He called to Craig's mom.
"You too Tweek. Take care, dear."
…
"Craig, what the hell? Are you really being jealous of your sister?"
"Nope." Craig popped the 'p' as usual whenever he said 'nope', but secretly meant 'yep', and kicked some gravel around as he kept walking towards nowhere in particular.
"Then what was that about?"
Craig stopped in his tracks and looked Tweek dead in his eyes.
"Did you fucking not hear what she said?" Craig snapped as he flung his arm and pointed towards where he came from. "She wants to steal you from me! And you didn't even say a thing!"
"Craig, she's only twelve! You can't take her seriously!"
"Every time you're at my house, she's clinging onto you, like a rottweiler bitten into postman's leg. And you don't seem to mind at all!"
"But Craig, I, ngh, I don't have any siblings or cousins, okay? I like spending some time with Ruby. She's nice, and…" Tweek paused as he saw Craig's hurt expression.
"I don't want to lose you! Especially not to my sister." Craig, as it turned out, was afraid of the same thing as Tweek was. That he wasn't good enough for him. And his sister, well. Saying it out loud, as she just did, didn't help.
Tweek wasted no time embracing Craig in a soothing hug.
"Craig, you won't. I love you and no one else! I know this will sound rich coming from me, but now you are being paranoid. She's only twelve, and in case you've forgotten, I'm still gay, so, even if she was like, my age, I'd never like her like that. She's like a sister to me. That I never had."
"And be glad you didn't, too. Unlike you, I have to deal with her all the time, not just when I want to. You'd hate her too, then."
"You don't hate her!"
"Maybe, sometimes." Craig turned his eyes up thoughtfully. "Like, ten minutes per week. Any more than that and she starts pissing me off fast. You have it way better than I do."
"You're just saying that. One day you'll see how lucky you are to have a sister."
Craig said nothing to that, he just sighed, returned the hug and kissed Tweek back. His hand found Tweek's and they resumed walking with no clear destination in mind.
"You know, you're smarter and more level headed than people give you credit for."
"Ngh, you think?"
"Yep. Well, at least when you're not driven to a panic attack by irrational thoughts."
"Gah – I can't – I'm trying to get better, but it's not so easy!"
"I know you are, don't worry about it." Craig soothed him.
"…or driven to a killing frenzy." Craig added with a chuckle.
"Hey! That was your fault man, I saw you and Kenny in such provocative position, and I kinda blacked out..."
"No shit. Good thing I got you off Kenny, you looked like you were going to do him in." Craig grinned at Tweek who started twitching again. "Also good thing Kenny can't really die, in case I couldn't pry you off of him in time..."
"What?!" Tweek screeched.
"Nothing. Forget it."
"Gah. This is so much pressure. I need coffee."
Sigh. "Okay. Let's go to your café. I'll have one coffee too. This day was too much." It sure was. Craig recalled all the events of the day. Waking up next to Tweek, Tweek's parents hearing them having sex, the awkward moments with them afterwards, going to Kenny's, inviting him over for lunch, the unexpected conversation with Kenny, Tweek showing up right at the least appropriate moment, Tweek almost being a cause of one of Kenny's many deaths, his anxiety attack and their apologies after, Kenny hitting on his mom, Craig befriending Kenny – sort of, the talk with Tweek, Tweek dry humping Craig, and the power play involved, how Tweek seemed so natural at being dominant for a change, and the whole spontaneity of it that took Craig by surprise (and what a pleasant surprise that was too – he already made a mental note that they'd have to do something like that more often), Ruby threatening to steal his Tweek from him… and those were just the things that Craig was aware of. And it was still only 2 PM, Craig thought, as they were walking in the direction of the town centre.
...
A/N: Sorry for being such a Creek fluff addict, but just can't help it. And sorry again for not updating faster. I will try to work on that.