CHAPTER 17

Meg and Joan hugged each other after Zoe and Iris rode away. Finally, something good had happened for John and for them. Both women had begun to despair over what to do next while trying to help him find his way. Now, to find somebody who knew him, TWO somebodies in fact, and who obviously cared a great deal for him was truly a miracle.

Walking back inside, they began planning how they would introduce Iris and Zoe's names to get a reaction but without being obvious. Meg thought it might help John to hear their names first, without him straining to give them significance that he would not remember and become upset about. Between them they hatched a plan that included the nurse that worked with Meg. Since the woman had seemed quite taken with 'the man named John' neither figured that would be a problem. Once they had a plan in place, they all sacked out for a couple of hours. They all knew the next day was going to be very important for everybody.

Early the next morning, Meg and Joan entered John's room. Meg had timed it almost perfectly to when he would wake up after the sedative she had given him. Joan went around the bed and sat down like she usually did and Meg gently roused John.

"John, John...wake up John. I need to check your bandages." Meg said quietly. Joan watched John's face closely from her position by the bed. Slowly he roused, blinking his eyes against the bright overhead lights.

"What? What is it? What time is it?" mumbled John. His mind was a foggy from the drugs.

"It's almost 8 AM sleepy head. I didn't realize you'd sleep this long. I need to check your bandages." said Meg as she pulled the covers off his legs. "Maybe we can leave some of these bandages off this time."

"I'd like that. They're starting to itch pretty bad." John said as he yawned.

"I'm not surprised. Had to shave around two of those gunshot wounds. Hair growing back can be itchy but I can give you some lotion for that."

Watching Meg slowly peel the bandage back on his right leg, he was anxious to see how his wounds were healing. This was the first chance he'd had to see the damage from any of the gunshot wounds.

"Joan? Where's Joan?" he ask in a mild panic, not realizing she was sitting in her usual place.

"I'm right here John." soothed Joan, patting his hand. Turning his head toward her voice, he smiled when he saw her.

Suddenly the nurse came through the door calling out for Meg, "Dr. Tilman, that man named Harold called again."

Joan watched John closely to see if there was any reaction or recognition to Harold's name. But there was none, at least none that Joan could tell. She'd been watching him closely for the last couple of weeks and she felt that she'd be able to discern if he were reacting to that name.

"Did you tell him I'd call him later?"

"Yes ma'am I did".

"Good, please come and get me if Harold calls again."

"Yes ma'am. " said the nurse and she went back to the front desk.

"Do you want go for a walk after Meg gets done? Maybe sit out on the patio?" asked Joan.

"Sure, as long as Meg doesn't pull out every hair on my leg with that medical tape." groused John.

"Joan, did you see Lionel when he was in here earlier today?" asked Meg. Again, no reaction or recognition by John.

"Yes I did. He looked good." answered Joan.

After finishing work on his legs, Meg checked John's belly wound. It too was healing nicely. She was amazed at John's ability to heal from such devastating injuries. He really DID have the nine lives of a cat.

Meg was still worried about his right arm. The bullet had done some damage to his shoulder, especially the nerves. John seemed to only have about 50% usage. But hopefully, time and physical therapy would change that. She had the same concern about his left leg where he'd been shot twice. The wounds were healing but she was concerned he was going to have a limp when all was said and done. BUT…..John had already beaten the odds by surviving that missile attack. Hopefully his luck would continue.

As Meg and Joan were helping him into the wheelchair the nurse knocked on the door again. Coming in she went straight to Meg. "Doctor, S...Sa...Sameed called and needs another prescription called in." Both Meg and Joan surreptitiously looked to see if John reacted. But to their mutual disappointment, he did not. "Ok, I'll handle that in a minute"

Once he was settled in the wheelchair, Joan started to push him toward the door. But John stopped her completely by grabbing the bars that he used with his left hand, stopping their forward progress.

Joan looked at John in confusion, "What? What's wrong?" That question caused Meg to turn around and look back at both of them.

She was stopped by the look on John's face.

"What's going on?" John asked quietly

Meg resisted the urge to look at Joan and asked, "What do you mean? I thought you wanted to go out to the patio….."

John frowned and looked Meg and then Joan. Something was going on. He could feel it…..he could see it…...he could hear it in their voices.

"Something's happened. Something's changed…you know something .and it is about me…"

Meg took a deep breath and bit her lip. In all the possible scenarios that the four of them had come up with, THIS was not one of them. The idea that he would pick up on the 'something has changed' but then not recognize the names...they should never have underestimated him. Then again this was John and he processed things differently than most people. She was at a loss as to how much information she should give him. But she had done some intense research about PTSD in those hours since Zoe and Iris had left. The internet was a wonderful tool to gather info in a short period of time.

"Yes, we do know something new and yes, it is about you." Meg said quietly. Both she and Joan were alert to any changes in John. They were both in uncharted territory and were playing it by ear. Hopefully, the tips and suggestions from Iris would work.

John's reaction was relief immediately followed by caution. What did they find out? Who did they find it out from? And most importantly…..why were they trying to hide what they knew…..

Trying to read his expression to be able to judge what she said, Meg decided to be truthfully vague. "They came to us looking for a friend who disappeared after that explosion downtown. And we think that person is you."

Knowing that someone was actively looking for him had a profound effect on John. That there was someone out there who 'knew' him during that 'gray void' that he could not remember, filled him with hope. That they had not given up after all this time, four weeks later, and were still searching for him. Then what felt like his customary caution yanked him back. WHY were they looking for him? He still had the concern that he WAS responsible for that explosion. He felt he had been involved with it. But he was unsure if he had caused the explosion itself or if he'd been the target. Not for the first time, he wondered could he be putting Meg and Joan in danger by being here?

Too many questions were piling up too fast and his head began to ache again. Putting his hands up on both sides of his head he closed his eyes and tried to will away the pain. He had to know…he NEEDED to know…

Meg immediately knew he was in overload. She also knew she needed to talk to Iris asap.

"John, that's enough for now. I know you're getting another headache but I do not want to give you any more painkillers right now. You just woke up from a 12 hour "nap". I need you to be in control of yourself." She hoped she was getting through to him. She needed him to hang on and not give in to the frustration he'd been experiencing the last week. "Can you just go outside with Joan and enjoy the fresh air? I promise I will get in touch with these people for you and get them to come to you….today"

Joan laid her hand on John's shoulder. That comforting gesture immediately lessened the pain in his head. He patted Joan's hand and nodded. Meg looked at Joan and smiled. Moving out of the way, she let Joan push the wheelchair into the hall and toward the doors to the walled patio in the back of the building. A place that had become John's favorite since he had become more mobile.

Meg made her way quickly to her office to make that phone call. Closing the door, she pulled out her cell phone and called Iris. Quickly filling her in on the morning's events, she waited to hear if Iris thought she'd handled it ok. She knew she was incredibly talented in fixing people's bodies but when it came to their minds, Meg felt she was clearly out of her depth.

Iris's calm assurance that she'd done well eased Meg's anxiety. John had come so far and knowing that she could have easily negated any progress with a careless comment, had been uppermost on her mind.

"What did you tell him about us?"" Iris asked quietly.

"Nothing really. Just told him that 2 people had shown up looking for their missing friend." Meg paused for a moment, deep in thought, trying to remember exactly what she did say. "I don't think I even told him that it was two women! Was that ok?"

Meg could almost hear Iris smiling through the phone, "That was probably the best thing you could have done so he'll have no preconceived ideas about who those 'two people were'.

Changing the subject for the moment Iris asked, "Have you talked to Zoe this morning?"

"Yes I did. She called to make sure she knew exactly what kind of medical equipment John would need while he stays at her place. Still can't get over that she offered that!" replied Meg. "I gave her a rather long and expensive list but she didn't seem to baulk at the necessary items or prices."

"Zoe is a very special person who cares a great deal about John. I don't think money has been, or ever will be, a problem for her. When will it get delivered, do you know?"

"Today is Wednesday and we hope to get John moved over there by Friday morning, so maybe tomorrow? To get it set up?. That will give me enough time on Friday to get his 'room' here set back up so I can see patients. Like I said, weekends seem to bring out the worst in people."

"Ok, I'll give Zoe a call and I'll let you know when to expect us. You were smart to try to limit his questions. We really don't want him to give himself more headaches. I have a concern about how much medication he may need at Zoe's due to those headaches. We'll talk more when we get there."

Out on the patio John, was trying to stay calm and not think about what Meg had just said. But his mind was going in a million different directions at once. The harder he tried to sort them out, the more painful the twinges of that headache became. Joan watched him from her seat at the patio table. She could almost read the thoughts racing around in his head.

Reaching out, she patted his hand once again…..to get his attention and to break his train of thought.

"John, you're doing exactly what Meg told you NOT to do. I know you have questions but you need to let it go for now. Your heard her. She will get in touch with those people today."

John looked at Joan. His face filled with bewilderment. So many questions and so many answers that now seemed so close, just there, out of reach. How could he NOT think about it!? But seeing the look of true concern on Joan's face, John reined in his wilding running thoughts. He would do anything to keep Joan from worrying, from causing her to be upset. He owed her so much.

Turning his hand over, he held her smaller hand in his. There may have been some dirt under her nails and on her hands in the past, but her hands also held an incredible amount of strength; strength she had willingly been giving to him. A slight smile played across his face. And Joan knew everything would be ok. They sat there in silence enjoying the sun and each other's company. No words necessary.