You blink back the tears threatening to fall. You know it's okay to cry, that you can be sad, and mourn. However, it had been six years, and you need to stay strong for Naerdy. Even if that means putting your emotions on a back burner.
You chuckle knowing that if Penelope were here she'd make you talk about it. And then she'd hold you, absent-mindedly rubbing circles into your chest, while whispering how much she loved you. Just thinking about her brought a calm over you. Even if you knew the calm wouldn't last.
"Daddy?" A small voice asked from the doorway of the living room.
You specifically asked the sitter to make sure she was asleep, but she was as sneaky as her mother. It wasn't the first time she had stayed up past her bedtime, pretending to be sleep until her you came home. And you knew it wouldn't be last.
"Yea, it's me munchkin. What are you still doing up?" You ask holding your arms out.
"I couldn't sleep." She says with a shrug, before climbing on to your lap.
"Is that so?" You say wrapping your arms around her.
"Yup, is that mom's?" She asks changing the subject and pointing at the photo album.
"Yes, it is, but that's not important. You know you have school tomorrow." You say firmly.
"It's only first grade, besides nothing they teach is any different from what Uncle Spencer taught me, last summer." She say's adding that last bit for good measure and picking up the album.
You chuckle, knowing she's right. After Penelope passed away the whole team had been right there for you. Emily and JJ helped you with the feedings, diapers, and taught you everything you needed to know about newborns. Rossi helped you out financially, even though you told him time after time that you didn't need it. Spencer was like a personal tutor, teaching your daughter everything she would need to know for school. And Tara helped you find a nicer place for you and Naerdy. (Ni-Ye-ddi)
"None of that matter's. You still have to go to school." You say as you watch her fumble through the pages of the album.
"I'll go straight to sleep if you tell me one story about mom." She says looking up at you with pouty lips and pleading eyes.
"Fine, but only one story." You reply giving into her damns. "Which story do you want?"
"How about this one!" She says with glee, pointing to the picture of Penelope and you in a photo booth. You sigh knowing this is going to be a long story, but nonetheless you start from the beginning.