A/N I have broken up the chapter into slightly smaller ones. :)

Aragorn made us run. We stumbled down the hill, I kept glancing back, half expecting to see Orcs on our tail. Pain grew worse, pain from cuts, scrapes, the wound on my arm feeling like it was on fire. My skin was burnt from the Balrog. No one else was in better condition, the hobbits stumbling, but Aragorn pushed us. Only when we'd reached the forest, only when he was sure we were in the 'safe' place, did he let us stop for a moment for a drink, food and to tend to wounds.

I sat there numbly while Aragorn pressed something into my wound, trembling, staring blankly. Had it really happened? It didn't feel real. Pippin sat beside me, Merry on his other side, eyes shut, the nasty cut on his scalp being tended to by Boromir.

"By nightfall, we will be safe." Aragorn reassured us, his eyes going to Frodo, who sat there quietly. "And will rest."

Frodo didn't answer. He stared at his hands, still trembling, mind somewhere else. I could guess where. Even worse, I felt it, I felt the power of that stupid thing around his neck. It was like the sadder he got, the better it got at fucking us all up, and no one seemed to know what to do. Aragorn wrapped my arm up, standing, and stared around slowly, as if looking for some more wounds. Maybe he was as clueless as we felt.

Legolas stood nearby, hands crossed, but he also looked shell-shocked. He kept staring back at us, at all of us, then to the dark. Water was passed around, food, but no one seemed able to eat or drink much.

"Come. We will continue." Aragorn glanced up at the sky. "We must reach the trees before nightfall."

I thought we were in trees. I was wrong though. The deeper we followed Aragorn into the forest, the more the trees changed, until we walked between ancient trees covered in most, the late afternoon sunlight turning the trunks golden. No one seemed able to speak for a long time.

When they did, it was Gimli who spoke, the only one who seemed to have enough energy to speak. "Stay close, young Hobbits! They say that a great sorceress lives in these woods, an Elf-witch, of terrible power. All who look upon her, fall under her spell and are never seen again."

Frodo froze, staring around, and this seemed to please Gimli a little.

"That's kind of rude." I muttered, quietly. "If everyone who looked at her is never seen again, how do you know about her?"

"Huh?" Gimli stared at me.

"I mean, someone would have had to leave again, in order to tell everyone..." I flushed as he stared at me, shrugged. "Right?"

For a moment, I thought I saw Legolas smile, but when I looked at him directly I only saw that empty face. But he'd shifted closer, his arm now brushing against mine once more, and I was too tired to get into the 'hey, just because I magically appeared, wore funny clothing and have no ears, doesn't mean I'm some kind of elf' argument. But when he went to grasp my hand, I flinched, and Legolas moved away again without a single change in his expression.

"Well, not all are so easily caught. Here is one Dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk-"

I saw this moment in my head, as I did sometimes, knew what would happen right now. Despite the shock and grief I found myself feeling some amusement again. I stopped. Held up my hands. This foresight stuff was great sometimes. Legolas stopped and looked at me, puzzled.

"-and the ears of a fox!" Gimli didn't even get to draw a breath in before the Elves had an arrow at his head. More Elves appeared, almost out of nothing, pointing arrows at us.

"The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark."

I didn't comment. I wanted to though. Everyone was so exhausted, so fucking grief stricken, that they could have done this to any of us. Even magic legged Legolas. He'd been just as out of it as Gimli had, just as unable to keep an eye out, and they'd snuck up on him too. But they taunted the dwarf. What was with this attitude between dwarves and elves?

I knew the Elf though. I stared at the blonde elf, the one who'd taunted Gimli, and he ignored me. Haldier? Something like that. This was that foresight thing again. I saw him, suddenly, saw him standing there. There was an axe in his skull.

He spoke to Aragorn and Legolas, ignoring the rest of us, and Aragorn turned to us. "We will go somewhere safe and rest for the night, to talk. Follow us. Weapons away." He mostly directed that to Gimli, I noticed. I'd have to ask Aragorn why Elves and Dwarves were so anti-social towards each other.

Right now though, I was tired, aching, and I could barely muster the energy to walk. So I kept quiet and made my way slowly after them, legs heavy, eyes down. Questions could be for later.

If there were Orcs following us now, we didn't hear about it, the nine of us completely surrounded by the Elves. They were, as I had realised most Elves were, fairly beautiful creatures. Glowing, clad in silvery-green, the cloaks so well suited to the forest around us, that if I didn't look directly at them, they appeared to drift in and out of reality, like they kept vanishing.

We were probably being guarded, not guided, but no one seemed the least bit worried. Gimli had shut his mouth for some time, standing close to Aragorn, face hidden under his beard and helm. The procession was fairly depressing though and my arm was starting to itch and burn again where it had been scratched. The skin looked kind of green. Aragorn hadn't seemed concerned so I ignored it.

After some time, we had to go blindfolded, and I did not like this. As if I'd know one tree from another in this state! Still, rules were rules, and I stumbled behind Gimli, totally blind, completely paranoid about ...falling or something. Gimli kept stopping too, uncertain, and I kept feeling hands brush me from behind, one of the hobbits unsure about where the hell they were going.

The air grew cold as we stumbled onwards. It got dark, I had to assume, but it was hard to know. I was feeling kind of hot myself, actually, the heat from my arm going up. My head felt light, floaty, the ground kind of ...moved every now and then. I tried to keep my head straight to not make this sensation worse. Was it tiredness? Was I just fucking exhausted all over again? Probably.

Then, suddenly, I was sitting somewhere else. Just like that. One second I was stumbling, blind folded, and the next, I was sitting in a platform. Blindfold gone. Arm covered with clean white bandages. Completely disorientated.. I stared around, confused. I sat on a platform in the trees, made of wood that was almost silver. Leaning against some kind of rail. There were soft blue lights everywhere, and further away, the glint of silvery blonde hair here and there where Elves stood in the trees. My stomach hurt, I felt like vomiting, but all I could do was swallow. What the hell?

Aragorn was arguing with someone. I stared up at them, blinking, opening my mouth.

"What is it?"

"Why didn't you tell us it was a orc blade that cut you?" Boromir hissed. His anger took me back, and I hesitated, staring at him. He was sitting behind me. "This is why a woman should not be here. This is dangerous!"

"No one told her they were poison, Boromir." Merry muttered. He shifted over to sit near my legs, Pippin close behind, and stared up at me. "You feeling better?"

I nodded, numb, staring back at Boromir. He'd turned his back to me again, shoulders hunched, staring away into the dark blue glow of the trees.

"What happened?"

"Well, you fell on top of Gimli, and they saw your arm was getting all these weird ...green colours. So they carried you." Pippin almost sounded envious. "All the way up the tree. I tried to collapse too but they knew I wasn't really hurt..."

Just tired. He looked so tired. I would have carried him up at the sight of him, the dark shadows under Pippin and Merry's eyes, the way their hands shook, their faces drained of blood, clothing stained with dark stains I suspected was orc blood. Troll blood? Who knew. I sighed and reached out to touch Pippin's hand. It was freezing. "What about the argument?"

"The elf said we couldn't go any further." Merry explained softly. He glanced at Frodo, who was sitting alone in a corner, as guilty looking as Boromir looked. "They said he carried great evil here."

"And some words in Elvish." Pippin added.

"And Gimli said something rude."

Gimli snorted, staring away, shaking his head. There was a massive bruise on his forehead under the helm, his helm now in his hands, clearly uncomfortable.

"And then they said you'd be fine and you'd wake up in a minute, and here you are." Merry finished. He held out his pipe. "Want a smoke?"

I shook my head and shut my eyes. Something else was in my hand, an oil skin, Merry adding, "Then have a drink of water. All of it."

I only meant to drink some but the second it touched my lips, this incredible fresh water, clearly not the stuff we'd carried through Moria, the second I couldn't stop drinking. Merry didn't seem that worried though.

"The Elves have more." Pippin stood up and wandered off towards some Elves, empty water thing in hand, holding it up. They took it and vanished down the tree, some stair I couldn't see, their silvery blonde hair glowing blue in the lanterns.

I sat back and stared around. Strength was slowly seeping back into my bones, my body, interest in the forest starting to return. The trees had to be massive, I couldn't see the ground, but above the canopy I could see traces of stars. Silvery blue lights dangled from the trees, movement here and there where Elves went, and a building that looked like it had grown from the silver-white trunk itself some fifteen metres across a large dark gap between the trees. There was a cloud around us, I realised, or a fog, and that was why the place seemed to be glowing blue- the moisture in the air was catching the light and spreading it.

The urge to get up and stand beside Legolas rose, but as I stared at him, he was standing just behind Aragorn. He looked at home here, as magic as the other Elves, this unearthly thing about him returning. How had I forgotten how different he was? I sat back down, breathed out, shut my eyes. Why had I wanted to go to him anyway?

Legolas had turned to look at Frodo, this tired look in his face, and as he turned away from him, our eyes met. That urge returned, the urge to go to him, to keep him company, but...

"Gandalf's death was not in vain...nor would he have you give up hope. You carry a heavy burden, Frodo...don't carry the weight of the dead." Boromir's voice and words surprised me. He sounded sad, tired, and I suddenly felt my irrationwith him fade. He was hurting and yet he'd been the only one to try and comfort Frodo.

I sighed, shut my eyes, and tried to think. Maybe Boromir had been right. I nudged his side, slowly, and he turned to face me. There wasn't dislike there. Just frustration and stress. I had, after all, turned him down more often than not when he'd tried to train me. Maybe he blamed himself for Gandalf. Maybe the stress of that ring was getting to him. Who knew.

"Boromir, can you teach me to defend myself better?"

It seemed to be the right question. He nodded, slowly, his hand coming to rest on my good arm. "Of course."

"And us too." Merry said quietly. He met Pippin's eyes, who nodded. "Please."

"I will help all of you. You need not be defenceless." Boromir agreed quietly. He grasped my arm once more, squeezing it, and turned back to gaze into the darkness.

The blonde elf, Halder or something, finally moved towards us. We gazed up at him, tired, exhausted, the idea of having to get back onto a dangerous road, to fight, to run... I didn't know if I could do it now. I didn't know if any of us could. We were tired, injured, and Gandalf...

"You will follow me."

"We must rest first." Aragorn said softly. "Please."

"You will be safe here. We will leave in the late afternoon. Injuries must be tended to first." His eyes hadn't gone to me but I suspected he meant me.

We were brought to one of the platforms higher up. Packs were rolled out, beds made, and I crawled into mine without being able to really think about it. The second I was down, I passed out, curling up on my side. It felt like one of the hobbits was near my legs, maybe, but I didn't really care.

Every now and then, I woke through that night, as Elves moved past. Saw them kneeling beside one of the hobbits, or the men, even Gimli, or Legolas, maybe with water. Or with healing stuff? But I slept, slept so deeply and securely, that I didn't really know what they were doing. Sometimes I was offered water though. I'd drink it, go back to sleep, like I was drugged. Maybe I was drugged. Maybe we were being drugged so we'd rest.

I slept right through the daylight as well, only getting up to relieve myself, but I barely remembered it. It was only mid afternoon before I really started to wake up properly. Even then I felt exhausted, drained, numb. We were offered bathing water, to wash our faces, and I moved away into a private place to change. Why, I had no clue, but apparently ...we had to look good. So I changed into something that wasn't dirty, leaning against a tree as I did.

As soon as we had changed and had some food in us, Haldir started for the safety of ...wherever the hell it was. I didn't even care.

We followed him back down the tree and into the forest, following some path I couldn't see, along ridges, forests, over creeks. I kept staring at the Haldir's scalp, kept seeing him dying, and swallowed. What was I seeing? Why was I seeing him die? I wished Gandalf was here, I wished I could ask him. How would he feel about me telling someone how they'd die? But at the same time … it didn't seem right. Why didn't it seem right? I didn't know. I was too tired and confused to know what to think

Sunlight was on us though, warm easing sunlight, which did help with the aching muscles. I walked quietly behind Frodo, nearly bumping into him as we stopped, Haldir pointing ahead over a cliff I hadn't even noticed. The sun was setting, casting warm light over us and the forest, and ahead was...

Was it a forest? I was sure I'd never seen anything like it.

"Caras Galadhon...the heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light."

Galadriel. Through my tiredness, I saw her suddenly, saw her as clearly as if she was right there. A vision thing? Or what? Incredible blue eyes, staring at me, staring into the depths of my soul.

"Come."

I gazed once more at this place, this great hill of trees, or were they trees that grew at different heights? It stood high above the rest of the forest, the green leaves golden in the dying light, mist around the base of the rise of trees, like a silvery ocean. It looked like an island almost.

The walk wasn't a fast one though, we stumbled down the slopes, our weary legs struggling to keep us upright on the difficult path. Then, across the valleys, we had to suddenly go uphill, and again I noticed we all trudged slowly. Legolas, even, was quiet and slower than usual, his presence always in the back of my mind. It felt like he wasn't okay. I moved to walk behind him.

The higher we walked up the hill, the greater the trees were in diameter, until they were as wide as buses, as tall as skyscrapers, these things with great spiralling pathways that led up into the canopies. There were lights everywhere, soft green grass, moss, paths, flowers, sculptures. I saw it, or tried to, but ...my eyes were really on the spiralling paths. Didn't they have lifts?

When we headed for one, I sighed softly, shutting my eyes a moment. Of course. One last huge hike up a tree. Why not? No wonder why Pippin had been so envious of earlier, when I'd been carried up.

"Not far." Legolas said softly, glancing back, his hand grazing my bandaged hand.

I trudged slowly up the stairs, eyes on each, ignoring the beauty. Tried to break it down, get myself to walk five steps at a time, which made it a little easier. I was breathing hard though, legs literally shaking, and I wasn't the only one.

The higher we got up, the more the light changed, until we were in this soft silver light once more. I thought at first it was the lanterns again but when I looked up, I saw the moon, full once more. Where had I last been when the moon was full? Bathing with the Fellowship, that was right.

"To there." Aragorn gave me a gentle push and nodded up.

There, just one or two more times around the thick tree, was a platform. A glowing building. Of course. To find the head Elf people... just look for the part of the tree that glowed the most.

We were stared at as we made our way up the last of the tree. Elves came to stare at us from balconies around, each as beautiful as the next, their faces passive and expressionless. I felt self concious about my body once more, my panting, face going red as eyes went over me. So this was why everyone wanted to change into nicer clothing? Suddenly made a lot of sense.

Finally we reached the platform though, another silvery white platform, maybe made of stone or something. I moved behind Legolas to stand behind the hobbits, breathing hard, wishing I could lean against something. Gimli, at least, had an axe to use.

There was a glow, suddenly, this incredible warming glow. It eased the pain out of my body. I gazed up slowly, expecting to be blinded, but nothing. It was just … light. Light that soothed me. And there, coming down the stairs with the grace of no Elf I'd seen before, was … two beings. I couldn't call them just plain 'Elves'. They were something else now.

The male spoke, quietly, his eyes fixed on each of us. "The Enemy knows you have entered here. What hope you had in secrecy is now gone. Nine there are here, yet nine-" I knew he had remembered me. He paused, and corrected himself, "Ten set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him...I can no longer see him from afar."

The last statement surprised me, the pain of what had happened in Moria hitting me suddenly, that ...we had really lost him. That he wasn't around. He wasn't going to pop up. I shut my eyes, a welling of pain hitting me, swelling in my throat. Why hadn't I been able to see it and save him too?"

"Gandalf the Grey did not pass the borders of this land. He has fallen into shadow." The woman's soft voice did not help. She actually sounded sad, to my surprise and I opened my eyes to see true grief on her face.

"He was taken by both Shadow and Flame: a Balrog of Morgoth." Legolas spoke up from beside me. There was a trace of bitterness in his voice as he added, "For we went needlessly into the net of Moria."

That was harsh. Gimli's head dropped. I moved closer to Legolas, brushing his arm with mine, and felt him tremble against my arm. The urge to fling my arms around the Elf and hug him like crazy filled my head. That same urge was for Gimli though, and the hobbits, and … well, everyone.

"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. We do not yet know his whole purpose. Do not let the great emptiness of Khazad-dûm fill your heart, Gimli, son of Glóin." The woman spoke quietly, her voice soothing, her eyes drifting over us. Galadriel? Her eyes were so familiar... "For the world has grown full of peril. And in all lands, love is now mingled with grief."

Boromir inhaled softly, and when I glanced at him, he was sobbing quietly, his eyes down, body shaking with emotion.

"What now becomes of this Fellowship? Without Gandalf, hope is lost."

Thanks, Captain Obvious. I shut my eyes. Anxiety came back. Suddenly, I was fixated in Galadriel's eyes, suddenly... her voice was in my head. She spoke quietly as she stared at me, speaking to all, but...

'There is always choice and freedom. Nothing is written yet.'

That was it. I stared at her as she spoke quietly.

"The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the company is true." Galadriel's voice was like a spell. I got it suddenly. The Enchantress. She was in a way. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace."

Some energy returned into me, some warmth flooding me, easing the pain. Quietly I followed the others back down the tree, following an Elf, to where a small shelter was already waiting for us. Another was waiting too, a woman, grasping something in her hands.

"You will all bathe tonight." The Elf informed us quietly. Her eyes went to me. "The Lady will come with me."

"I, um..." Felt weird about leaving them. Was that strange? After everything, even though I'd loved time alone before, suddenly it felt weird to leave the rest. I glanced back though, at the others, but they were being led somewhere else, probably off for some bath of their own. "Are they bathing too?"

"Yes." She turned and walked off. I hesitated only a second longer before following the Elf.

I was led along the path, my boots sounding heavy on the grass, through trees. Elves turned to stare at me openly. For a moment I thought I saw a child up high in one of the buildings, just for a moment, but I wasn't sure. Did Elves have children or just magic themselves out of fairy dust? It was another question to ask good old Leggy.

The place I was bathing seemed to be a 'general' bathing area. It was under a very wide short tree, compared to the rest anyway, this hollow lit by the lanterns and candles. It was tiled with blue and white tiles, patterns of flowers, stars, landscapes created out of shards of the tiles.

Pools of water rested in nooks around the edge, wide enough for one or two adults to sit, but they were very deep and very clear, the water slightly green. Not the sickening 'polluted' kind either, which would have put me off pretty fast, but rather it was the 'this has minerals you'll love' kind of green. Steam rose from each pool, little waterfalls of clean water ran down the inside of the tree into the pools, and I noticed that all the pools drained away into a silver grate in the middle of the 'room'.

Mirrors reflected the light, reflected my face around, and I stared at myself. This room was beautiful, fragrant, lovely, with delicate candles, tiles, and bathing pools.

I, on the other hand, still looked like I'd bathed in mud.

"Clothing off." The woman started to pull my boots off, ignoring my squirming, throwing aside the boots as if they were garbage. I knew she'd probably do the rest if I didn't', so I peeled off the clothing, trying to breathe as I did. Was she staring at me? She had to be staring at my body, still overweight and curvy, because it had to at least be twice her size.

I caught myself in the mirror again, completely by accident, and the first reaction was to stare away quickly.

But... I had lost weight.

I stared at myself in the mirror, shyly, as if it was a stranger I was looking at. It kind of felt that way still. I had lost weight, things were thinner, things didn't rub together as much, and the jiggles were less. I wasn't thin. Not even close. But... I had gotten fitter.

Quickly I went for the nearest narrow pool of water, partly to escape her stare and the mirror, wading quickly into the small space. It was as deep as I'd suspected, quickly dropping away into chin deep water. It was so hot too, almost stung my body. It really stung my arm and I lifted it up, staring at the long cut, face to face with blackened skin and a kind of putrid looking wound.

"The water will heal." She dropped handfuls of something into the water around me, dried flowers and leaves, before turning to gather up the armful of clothing. "We clean these. Here." She put soap down, turning, and went to stand outside as I floated there.

I hadn't meant to stay long but the water … but it was impossible to move. There was a kind of seat in it, which probably doubled as the step to get out again, and I sat back in it as I shut my eyes. The heat of the water lulled me into a daze, the cool trickle quenching my thirst, and when I felt a stirring of hunger, food suddenly was placed beside me. Even the soap wasn't really needed... the motion of the water was slowly moving away the dirt, grime, blood and nastiness, leaving me with just pale skin. And it was so warm. Volcanic? It somehow made me think of hot springs.

I scrubbed slowly, little seeds massaging my skin. Then I tried it with my hair, the grimy tangles vanishing as the soap cut through it. I could hardly believe I'd been so dirty, I thought as I stared at my arms, how had I gotten that nasty? I shut my eyes and rested against the side of the pool.

When I did, I slept, and everything that had just happened danced across my vision. Gandalf. Blood, black blood, all of it. It just added to the nightmares and I woke with a start, heart thudding, breathing hard.

"Clothing is here. I wait outside." I slid up slowly, grasping for some kind of rough cloth I guessed was for drying, and reached for the tunic and leggings.

No tunic. No leggings. A dress.

I wanted to swear as I lifted it up. It wasn't fancy, just a plain dress that was slightly softer than cotton, dyed dark blue and grey, long sleeves and a neckline edged with tiny flowers. Real ones, I realised, behind a layer of fabric so fine that it was transparent. It was also heavy with fabric, lined, looked pretty warm. There was even a shawl with a hood matching.

I tugged it over my head, pulled on the undergarment things, and the leggings that I found folded nearly underneath."Dressed. Okay."

Shawl was thrown over one arm and I followed her back.

"-the grief is still too near."

Legolas voice drifted towards me. I came around to see him standing there, silver jug thing in his hands, as if he'd forgotten what he meant to do. He stared at me for a long time, then at the jug in his hands, and moved to the fountain with a quiet exhale. I went to stand beside him, reaching out to touch his arm, admiring the silvery tunic thing. Had he carried this all this way?

It kind of reminded me that he was supposed to be a Prince of some kind.

"I bet they don't mention his fireworks. There should be a verse about them." Sam's voice drifted out from the roots of the nearby tree. There, I saw our packs, and some of the beds already made up. Gimli was already fast asleep, Aragorn near him. Sam was making his bed as he spoke. Where was Frodo? "The finest rockets ever seen, They burst in stars of blue and green." A snore from Gimli cut in, Sam ignoring him, as he continued, "Came falling like a...rain of flowers… Oh, that doesn't do they justice by a long road."

"Are you all right?" I said quietly to Legolas. He had smiled somewhat, gazing into the hollow at the hobbits, but he was barely moving. He stared back over me. The elf looked so haunted.

"Death is..." Legolas turned , slowly towards me, the now full jug clutched in his hands. He stared down at it. "New."

Oh. Elves. Living a long time. I reached out to touch his hands on the jug. "Don't Elves have stories about what happens after death?"

"Yes, but we see so little." Legolas moved away. "I need to walk alone."

No invite either. He headed off, not glancing back, vanishing into the shadows. Aragorn moved past for Boromir. I hesitated, before following, not sure what to do. Legolas seemed out of it. Boromir was looking pretty stressed too, some distance off.

"Take some rest. These borders are well protected."

Boromir gazed up, his eyes meeting Aragorn's eyes, then it moved to me. He stared back down. "I will find no rest here. I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me, "Even now, there is hope left." But I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope. "

Aragorn sat beside Boromir, and I glance d back, wondering I should... make my bed or something. But a hand grasped mine and before I knew it, I was pulled onto Boromir's free side. He wanted me to hear it too? Okay then.

"My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing. And now our…our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right and I— I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver. Its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?" Boromir sighed quietly several times during it, his hands meeting again, his attention on Aragorn. But as he described it, his home, something returned. The tiredness faded somewhat, the darkness, the sadness, it seemed to vanish as he pictured his home. I gazed sideways at him as he stared into the ground, seeing it in his mind, the very memory of it bringing him energy again.

" I have seen the White City, long ago."

" One day, our paths will lead us there. And the tower guard shall take up the call: "The Lords of Gondor have returned!" Boromir's energy increased slightly again, his eyes meeting Aragorn's eyes, with none of the resentment I'd seen in his face when he'd first discovered who Aragorn really was. Now there was just respect. To my surprise, he'd grasped my hand suddenly, and met my eyes. "And I will show you it all as well. Faramir. The white city."

This reminded me of that moment in the mines, and I shifted uncomfortably, wondering. Had that been the madness talking, that 'I want you to marry my brother', or was there truth in that? Did he really hope for it? But I said, "I really do want to meet him," as I suddenly wondered where the hell Legolas had gone to. Sort of. Aragorn met my eyes. I was okay. Boromir wasn't in that dark place. He was just sad. "And see your home."

But, just in case, I stood up and hurried for the tree. No point... tormenting him or something. I made my bed, slowly, and crawled into it, exhausted.

Things weren't going to plan. I knew it. We all knew it. I fell asleep, feeling strangely desperate and guilty, and lost. How to get to Mordor now...

It was starting to feel hopeless.

I slept very deeply, curled up on my side, deeper than I had in memory. No nightmares. Just songs. Songs that I remembered, songs from my life, music I used to love. I remembered only joy- the thrill of being a winner, of being respected, the awestruck sense I got when someone would walk up to me and say I was an inspiration... after spending so much of my life being taunted, it was almost unreal.

When I woke, it was still dark, and a warm body lay curled up against my back, an arm thrown over me, a soft inhale and exhale tickling the side of my face. Opening one eye, I saw Frodo asleep a few feet away, Sam right beside him, the other members of the fellowship fast asleep still. The light was almost non-existent out there and I guessed it was still night.

So who was it behind me?

Boromir was the first thought and I twisted around, trying to not wake them, concerned. But it wasn't Boromir. It was Legolas, fast asleep, so close that I could feel his heart against where my arm was pressed against his side. He moaned softly in his sleep, pulling me closer, and I realised it was the first time I'd really seen the Elf sleep.

Breathing out slowly, totally at ease, I shut my eyes and drifted back into an easy sleep, the smell and warmth of this other body in my mind, body and spirit.

I woke again, feeling the strange sense of being lifted, and opened my eyes wearily. Legolas was awake, the others asleep, and carrying me. Where? I wasn't sure. I blinked slowly, trying to urge myself to wake, muttering, "What...?"

"Need to talk privately. Sleep privately. Boromir is watching too much." Legolas yawned. He looked like he wanted to go back to sleep, he looked buggered, which was a pretty rare look for the magic energy bunny Elf, but he lifted me down slowly.

"Where to?" I glanced around.

Legolas nodded ahead, and moved into the quiet of the great trees, his feet barely making a sound on the grass. I followed him quietly, kind of suspicious, but he only led me to a tree some thirty metres away, also covered by some kind of shade. It was fairly small looking.

"This was for you." Legolas explained, when I stared at it, before moving inside with a duck of his head.

"To sleep in?" I followed him in. The sight of what was inside really answered me. It was a simple bed roll, just a pillow and blankets, and it took up half the little space inside the roots. There was a jug of water and a goblet as well.

Legolas went to sit down, yawning, and I sat down beside him awkwardly. My sleep had started to fade enough to return to the usual 'close contact- embarrassment/insecurity'. But he just tugged me against his side and lay down, forcing me to do the same. Well... offered. I could have easily stayed up. But why refuse him? It wasn't a bad idea.

"You ain't staying, right?" I mumbled. Legolas just sat up, dragged the blankets back over both of us, and flopped back down. "I might actually go... back. To sleep near the others. Fellowship, remember?"

"Boromir." He twisted over to stare at me, leaning up on one arm. Some of Legolas sleep had vanished now and he regarded me carefully. "Is watching you too much. Sleep here for tonight."

"Hey, Leggy?"

The reaction to the nickname was kind of funny. Legolas actually blinked at me and twisted his head, as if he was wondering if he'd been too sleepy to hear me correctly. "Yes?"

"Frodo." I rested my head back onto the cold pillow and shut my eyes, breathing out, the sleepiness returning. "That's the priority. Besides... he's not that bad. Really."

I felt the mat sink as the heavy body beside me lowered himself down. I yawned again, breathing out, feeling the stress ebb back out again. So what if he wanted to sleep here? He was warm.

"What did he say to you?"

"Just that … I need to train more. So you can all make sure you protect him." The actual words danced in my head and I felt my heart twist painfully. Something about 'you're a chick and you're distracting us from Frodo, stop it'... but he might have had a point about the distracting part. Frodo almost got cut in two by a giant spear. Gandalf had... now something else twisted in me, that sadness, I felt the emptiness that Gandalf left behind. "He sometimes says harsh things but I think … I think he's trying to do the right thing. Frond's got to be protected for a long way yet so Boromir's right."

"You care for him."

"I care for all of you." It was true too. I opened one eye, finding a grey eye just inches away, and there it was. That haunted face. "Are you doing okay?"

Legolas didn't speak for a while, he twisted to lie on his back, and stared up. His reply was so soft I barely heard it. "I ...am not doing well with the idea of death. I feel I need to speak to him, only to remember ..." There was something there in his voice as he trailed off, a tremor, and he muttered, "... and to think, I may have been fast enough to..."

"You blame yourself?"

"Who else in the Fellowship could move quickly and lightly, so as to not break the bridge? Aragorn was too heavy. If I had..."

"Hey, no." I slid up and stared down at him. "Not your fault. Not anyone's fault."

"I know. But these thoughts do not leave me." Legolas shut his eyes. One his his hands rose up, running along my back, sending shivers down my spine. He tugged me back down, right up against him, grief threatening to break through the mask he was barely hanging onto. That was all it was. Masks. Elves just wore masks to hide how human they really were. They just had longer than us to perfect them. "Does death always come with so much regret?"

I shivered at his desperate tone, this whisper that almost was too soft to hear, Legolas's hand shaking on his stomach. "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe that's why... you can't hold things back. Or leave things for tomorrow... because death comes, and you can't know when it'll come." Haldir sprung to mind there and I frowned. "Or what to do when it comes. You know. Live every day as if it was your last, kind of thing."

He didn't answer. I lay back down beside him and shut my eyes. Funny world. Dwarves, Elves, hobbits, humans, everyone dealing with shit differently. "You want to sleep here?"

"Death comes at any time?" Legolas said softly. He shifted up, I felt him move to tip my head towards him, and when I opened my eyes he stared at me. "Then let us not ...leave things to tomorrow. I want to know to know your body."

Woah. I froze, the words so blunt, so straight to the point, that I had to admit, it did something. That hand on my back, suddenly meant something else, that closeness he'd insisted on, and … woah. When the hand slid down, and drew the long dress up my back, I knew he didn't mean in a platonic friendly way.

"Why?" The word slipped out before I could stop it. I stared at him. "Don't you have lovers?"

"Yes, I did." Legolas shifted back up again. The grief was there, somewhat, but so was that other look. That intense look he'd had when he was drunk. "I would like you now. Live every day as if it was your last."

"I don't do casual stuff." I was having trouble with that though, as I felt the hand slide up my bare back, dress completely up over my hips. The touch sent ripples of electricity throughout me. "I mean, I … " I was fat. What the hell was wrong with him? "You have better choices everywhere. We're surrounded by beautiful Elves."

"You think your body does not arouse desire?" Understanding dawned in Legolas face. He suddenly flipped me onto my back, shifting his body over mine, one of his knees between my legs before I could breathe. "It has shape. Strength. I have met no Elf maiden with strength such as yours in her body. I don't fear to break you if I am not gentle."

Heat burnt in my face. The blankets were over us, he could see right down to my bare legs and the undergarments, and he moved to shift his other knee between my legs. This was serious. "You're serious, aren't you?" And when the hell wasn't he gentle?

His weight fell on me, as his lips found mine, with the same intense kiss we'd first had, but there was desperation too. And roughness. He was seriously rough, his hand grasping my breast almost painfully, his kiss hard and bruising. Weeks of desire, maybe, or maybe this was what he really was like. I panted as our mouths parted, staring at him, all control gone in his face. All masks.

"Mortal ...lives are so short. Why do you waste them?" He whispered against my lips, trying to peel the dress over my head. "I will not hurt you. Let us take comfort in each other. There is no shame in desire."

It was a good question and I didn't have an answer, only a dress that slid over my head, and then he was trying to pull his tunic off. A button flew as it ripped slightly. Legolas ignored that, bending down, and pressed his lips against sensitive skin on my neck, his hips pressing up against my legs. I could feel it, under his tunic, this hardness that ran against the inside of my thighs.

His grey eyes met mine, waiting, waiting for me to say no. and when I didn't speak, Legolas tore the undergarment down the middle, exposing my chest. He inhaled slowly as he stared at my breasts, shifting up, my face red as he reached over to stroke his fingers over one.

I wanted to apologise suddenly for being fat... but he didn't seem the least bit put off, and I lay there in awe, as he bent down to kiss each tenderly, like he loved them. Didn't see the fat, or the jiggle, didn't see any of it... was it only in my head, that I was so big? It turned me on so much, my body was throbbing, my breath coming in faster pants as he reached for the leggings. "You sure? I mean... there's probably... so many who would be interested." Right?

"The body of a woman." He murmured, fingers running down my side, and I wriggled. "The shyness of a maiden. Yes. I have wanted this for weeks." Legolas tugged at the leggings, sliding each over a leg, his hands grazing my legs as he threw them to one side. I wanted to close my legs, wanted to hide, but he grasped my ankles and pulled them open, eyes fixed unashamedly where he wanted to be. "Let me."

I couldn't say yes or no, I felt so... desperate. I wanted to be touched now. I nodded, legs shaking, and watched him pull his own leggings down slowly, kneeling between my legs. Why was I so scared? And fucking turned on?

It was dawn before he was exhausted, and by then I was almost falling asleep in his lap, bruised, bitten, even bleeding, and ...satisfied. Okay. The gentle magic weightless Elf became something else in bed, apparently, because he wasn't that gentle. He'd tried to be, when we'd both discovered I'd been totally inexperienced and had bled all over his legs, but there was this minimalistic side of him that shocked me and ...well, turned me on.

Then he'd gotten slower, more careful, and gentle. Probably to do with how tired he was.

He sat there, worn out, arms around me, and I sat in his lap. Magic perfect elf was gone, he was sweating, panting, hair all over the place, sticking to his skin, as human looking as I did, and as worn out. Legolas leaned against me and shut his eyes, his breathing slowing, legs shaking under my thighs. Blood was all over his legs. My blood? That was right. It'd hurt at first. It looked like less than I remembered though... just a tiny bit. It'd seemed like a LOT last night when it'd shocked us both.

He gazed down at it, kissing my neck as he did, arms releasing me and hands stroking slowly down my arms. "Maiden?"

"Not anymore."

"I should have not gone so long." Legolas shifted down, slowly, pulling me into the bed with him. I lay there and shut my eyes, while a blanket was pulled over us both, his sweaty body sliding as close to me as possible. He murmured something to me in Elvish, something I still didn't understand, one of his hands brushing the hair out of my face again. Whatever it was, it felt good to hear, and I felt myself smile for the first time in days. He brushed his hand over where his teeth had grazed my shoulder. "Or so rough."

"More fun than fighting orcs. Sleep and relax."

He didn't have to say it twice. Content, I fell asleep, my heart full with the warmth and peace that seemed to have finally found me.

This fuzziness continued long into the day, through meals, and constantly I found myself meeting Legolas eyes. That grief was still in his face but ...there was that smile too, when we'd meet eyes, that secret smile that would make his lips twitch and him turn away. Yeah. I felt it too. I had to admit it hadn't been such a bad idea. Still, I wished I didn't hurt so much, sitting was hard!

"We must stay here for a week, at least." Aragorn was saying, as we all ate in a circle. "Orcs patrol the borders. The Elves will clear them before we continue."

"Are you in charge now?" Merry asked. He didn't seem annoyed, just curious, but it kind of made Boromir shift in his seat.

Aragorn didn't seem that comfortable with that question and he glanced at Boromir, Gimli and Legolas. "We are a Fellowship. We all have say."

Boromir was probably eager to get away, I suspected from what he'd said before, but all he said was, "The less orc we have to fight, the faster we move" and glance at Frodo.

"Exactly." Aragorn replied. "So we remain and we train."

We wandered around in a daze for several days, sitting around, like none of us were really able to do much except eat, drink and sleep. And, despite being in a city of Elves, we didn't see as many as I might have expected.

Mostly the Fellowship was left alone and left to recover, injuries healing quickly for all of us, our bruises and aches fading quickly.

Lothlorien was almost like a dream. A safe, comfortable dream, in which I found myself lost somewhat in this new 'agreement' with Legolas, in the food, in the comfort. But Aragorn didn't let us get too distracted. We trained harder than we had for weeks. Not just me, but the hobbits too, we were paired up with one of the experienced fighters.

Being paired up with Legolas was one hell of a steep learning curve. Legolas, however dedicated he was to pleasure at night, was a harsh trainer with those two knives of his. He wasn't strong like the others but he was fast and I found myself bleeding almost after every training session, which forced me to try and match his speed.

Boromir, on the other hand, seemed totally unable to take out his full strength on me. I knew he tried but he'd see me flinch and he'd hesitate ,laugh, and we'd try again. Luckily Aragorn made up for what Boromir couldn't. Aragorn, and Gimli too, were just as harsh with me as Legolas.

I knew we were being watched daily by the elves. One week passed by, and we were informed we'd be there one more week, Haldir returning to inform us that the borders were still unsafe.

He wasn't supposed to die there. I stared at him as he spoke quietly with Aragorn, confused, and a little conflicted. I had this image of rain, of fighting, of hundreds of Orc fighting Elves and men. Haldir dying. But then, this conflicting angry thought, that he wasn't supposed to be there in the first place.

He met my eyes, suddenly, and stared at me. I looked away as fast as I could. This was crazy. I didn't understand it. Why see a death if I had no details to change it? Boromir flopped beside me, staring openly at Aragorn and Haldir, while the two moved away.

"Do you understand?" He asked and I shook my head. "Nor do I. Here."

Boromir tossed me an apple and leaned back to eat his own. He had relaxed somewhat over the week, but not a lot, and even now he seemed uncomfortable.

"How long do we need to wait?"

'Not too long, I hope. Are you sleeping well in your separate place?" There was nothing in his face except for the warmth he'd started to display towards all of us. I had noticed that here, in Lothlorien, the darkness had appeared less in Boromir's face. Although his tension remained, and his stress, he didn't seem to loose his temper, or loose control. Even Frodo had warmed up to him.

"I guess so." I smiled weakly. Why did I feel guilty about Legolas visiting me there? Was it because Boromir had made it clear he wanted me for his brother? "I mean, it's a bit strange."

"We would not find it strange if you returned. You are, after all, a member of this Fellowship." Boromir leaned back against the tree and scratched a scab on his arm. He added ,"I am sorry for the harsh words spoken to you in Moria."

"It was true though."

"Yes, but... I have had never known a day in my life where I was not expected to train or fight." Boromir took a bite of his apple and continued thoughtfully, "And you have only mere weeks. Your skill with a bow is better than most I have met. You are not without your own strengths. The men of Gondor would be impressed and you would be seen as an asset."

"Asset?"

"As a wife. Your sons will be physically strong and with your spirit." He smiled as I shifted uncomfortably. "It may be some time before a man tames you."

He probably thought he'd just complimented me. I decided to not break that illusion. "Yeah. I'm not really... got plenty of time to think about that." Marriage. *Sons*. I was way too young for that. "Do you have a ...are you married?"

"I, too, have time to think." Boromir's smile faded somewhat. "But I sometimes hope my brother would be the first to have a son. My father may … may change his view of my brother if he does." He breathed out slowly and turned to face me. "My behaviour towards you in Moria was wrong. But, I dreamed of a woman as you for him, a woman who would stand beside him, rather than be a meek shadow."

"But not me." The words slipped out. He frowned and stared away, arms crossing, but however bad I felt for him, it felt so fucking wrong. Seriously. Arranged marriage? "There'll be someone."

"I cannot see who else. Please. Meet Faramir before you decide." Boromir said quietly. Before I could answer, he'd stood, and walked into the trees, without staring back.

I couldn't do that. So why did I feel so guilty?

A hand closed on my shoulder, making me flinch, but it was just Legolas. He moved quietly to stand beside me, staring up to watch Aragorn, his presence somewhat soothing.

"I can't do that." I said quietly. Stared up at him. Besides. I was with this Elf, this magic Leggy Legolas elf, and I doubted he'd like the idea much either. "Right?"

Legolas shook his head slowly. "No. Your instinct already tells you that. What he seeks, is not in you." He met my eyes, a sad smile there, and reached up around his neck to lift something up. That silver chain, that leaf, he lifted it up and dropped it over my head. "A gift."

"For what?"

"Being my lover. Only mine. I give this to you to protect." The guilt faded somewhat at that word, at the affectionate look in his face, Legolas' hand running over my hair before he stood up. He stood close enough for his leg to brush my arm. He sighed softly. "His grief is not your burden."

"I wish I could help."

"It is not your problem to solve." He gazed forward, face soft. "It is one he must solve on his own."

I stared down at the leaf, fingering it, admiring it. It was long and narrow, as long as my pinkie, some kind of green stone on silver, the chain a delicate looking thing that looked fragile but felt strong. It was glittery, the green stone was cut so that light caught 'veins' in the leaf,and had traces of gold underneath. Gold leaf under the stone? I wasn't sure. "Are you sure you want to give me this?"

"Yes." Legolas responded.

I grasped for the necklace I'd been given on leaving Rivendell, quickly, tugging it over my head. It felt right to give him it then. I pushed it into his hand, to his surprise, and Legolas stared at it. "Then you can have this."

Warmth spread over his face, Legolas looking genuinely happy, and he slipped it over his head, sliding it under the silver tunic. For a moment he said something, something in Elvish, his hand over the little lump. Then his hand returned to my shoulder, squeezing it, leaning against my side.

That night, it felt strangely more intense, and I wasn't sure why I hadn't just let him convince me to do this in Rivendell. Nothing about it seemed wrong, or bad, just … natural. We lay there, staring out of the tree, watching lights in the trees flicker.

"Go to sleep." Legolas shifted up to sit, back to his usual 'Not needing any sleep' routine, and I did so, relaxed, his hand resting on my hip.

I didn't let Boromir drift away. Instead, I moved closer to him, refusing to let him do his sulk thing. It seemed stupid, childish, and he seemed to appreciate it. Legolas wasn't far off though, he didn't seem to trust him quite so much now, maybe the talk of marriage had annoyed him.

Still, despite the struggle I kept catching in Boromir's eyes, he seemed to still be around, and no one else seemed to be as worried. Lothlorien kept us in this state of calm, peace, that a day or two would pass and we'd barely notice. Aragorn kept us up to date with the Orc slaughter outside Lothlorien, keeping us focused, and we sat around waiting for the elves to clear the way for Frodo so he could safely get out of here again. It was a beautiful cage we sat in while we waited.

I also was starting to suspect that Sam was in love with Frodo. Big time. All those deep stares, the touches, the constant presene, it was adorable and kind of obvious. But then Frodo would mention some hobbit lady and Sam would get flustered. So I wasn't sure about that one.

Legolas was shirtless. One of my hickies was proudly on display on his ab. I stared and felt something hit me across the head.

"Focus!" Boromir snapped, as he almost cut into me again, and I blinked and tried to re-do the footing. "Don't point your feet where you're going."

It was one of his things he had been trying to drill into my head for days now- to always step in the wrong direction. The idea was that it'd throw any orc or bad guy off. I pointed my feet left, they expected me to go left, and then I'd go right. It made sense but it was a hard habit to get into. I started again, grasping the sword in my sweaty palms, aware that my sexy lover Elf was standing right there with his shirt off. Oh sure, everyone was here, Gimli sharpening his axe, the hobbits sitting in a half circle on the soft grass, Aragorn sharpening a dagger.

"And move!" Pippin called, halfway through a mouthful of something, only to get shvoed to his feet by Aragorn. "I'm eating elevensies." Somehow he managed to look offended, almost, that Aragorn would dare move him during such a clearly important meal.

"Sword out, Master Took." Aragorn pulled his own sword out slowly. Then he met Legolas eyes, who smiled, and moved to attack Pippin from behind. Pippin yelped as something hit him across the head, the back of Legolas knife, spinning. "And watch your back."

Aragorn moved away while Legolas took over the training.

Another crash sent me sprawling, almost, and Boromir raised his hands in defeat. "You are not here today, are you?"

Not really. I smiled sheepishly. "Um."

"Then we do this tomorrow." Boromir shethed his sword and glanced towards where Merry was sitting. "Do you-"

"Nope!"

"Not tomorrow." Aragorn said. He sat down slowly with his sword still out. "It's safe."

Legolas and Pippin froze. We all turned to stare at Aragorn, who had pulled out a stone, and was running it slowly across the blade of his long sword.

"It is safe?" Legolas asked quietly. He met my eyes. This meant no more fun naked time, not really, we were back to work. Frodo had gone quiet and pale.

"As it'll ever be. At dawn we will be leaving by the river. Tonight, we must make sure we get a full night's rest-" I swore his eyes went from myself to Legolas, but it couldn't be that he knew, could it? "-and to repack our packs for the journey."

"We should air them out now then." Boromir looked almost glad to be going. He was practically grinning compared to the sombre look on his face for the last few weeks. "Let them dry properly."

"Agreed." Aragorn stood up, shethed his sword, and added, "And prepare ourselves. Weapons sharpened. Arrows made and ready. Repair all clothing."

All stuff we probably should have done while we were here, I realised, but no one had been in a good state. Now we met each other's eyes, the tenseness returning, aware of what we had to do. I might have spent most of the trip in a delusion about 'no danger' or something but now I was very aware and very concerned about what we had to face. Had I trained enough? Learnt enough to keep myself alive? Should I have done less of the hanky panky and more of the training? Getting fitter?

I swallowed.

The tense silence was cut suddenly by Merry's shout, "Race you to the tree!" and we blinked as he and Pippin sped off. Excited. Okay then.

"Let us get ready." Legolas murmered as he walked past, hand brushing my arm, before he followed after them at a slow jog. Normally that might be body code for 'let's meet by the tree' or something. Right now it probably wasn't.

I turned and followed the others to where we'd been set up, my 'space' still with some clothes strung around, but with some of them missing. I had to guess the magic elves in the trees knew we were going and had decided to wash things again. It wasn't the first time I'd found something vanished only to be returned sparkly clean.

Slowly I unpacked each thing, laying them out, glancing up as Legolas wandered in. Come to think of it, he rarely had any sort of stuff. Right now he did have a bag, something in his hands, and his knife.

"I will sit with you. And make arrows for both of us." He said softly and sat as I pulled stuff out, draping it over roots and whatever I found, while Legolas started to craft arrows. His hands moved swiftly, easily, a task he must have done hundreds if not thousands of times before now. But his attention was on me. He was anxious again.

"What is it?" I unrolled my spare leggings and let them rest across a chair.

"I have not had a lover in danger as this. Wouldn't you feel better staying here?" Legolas said it very slowly, hesitantly, and he frowned when I flinched. "I did not think so."

"Fellowship, remember? I'm in this as long as I can cope." Which currently felt like a little longer. I could do this. Bad ring, bad man slash demon or whatever that Sauron was, and the end of the world? What else was I going to do? Make daisy chains while these people I liked and respected charged on into orcs, dragons or whatever else was out there?

"Yes." He said softly.

This was what had worried me. Complications. Sure, here it was fun, but when we got out there again? I frowned and went back, tugging out the little lightweight box at the bottom of the pack, with the jingly things I'd ignored till now. I opened it now and found more than just the gemstones. They sat there but so did a small object, a rectangle, with a shiny piece of glass on one side. A phone. It was a fucking phone. Tampons in a box, still sealed with the plastic, reminding me of ...that issue that hadn't come up yet. A comb. Who had packed this? And, to my shock, a little solar panel in plastic. Mobile charger. Woah. Woah. Woah...

"What is that?"

"My brother's present!" I exclaimed, staring at it, turning it over. And my phone! And, I found it there, my ancient mp3 player. A notebook. A pencil. These were things I had in my handbag, I realised.

"You remember a brother?"

"Yes, and no..." I frowned, trying to remember more, but it slipped away. "I just remember that I had one. I don't know much else. This might help!" Excited, I tried to turn on the phone, fumbling with the power button.

It took me a minute before I remembered where Legolas had found me and what had happened to all my things. It had been in the river. Disappointed, I lowered it, only to feel another rush of excitement. Maybe it needed charging!

"Here..." I fumbled with the packaging, undoing the solar panel, shoving the pointy bit into the phone. "Can you sit in the sunshine and make sure this part-" I pointed at the black part, "-is in the sun?"

"What magic is this?"

"The awesome kind." My spirits were rising somehow. Wow. A phone! Maybe I'd find out my real name. Legolas stood up and headed off with his arrow making stuff and the precious item as I stared at the other things.

To my amazement and relief the old mp3 player worked, the headphones still worked, and I heard music. Music! My music! My... ruined mp3 player. Okay. Two seconds and it gave up.

Excitement fading, I fiddled with the gems, feeling kind of bitter. I'd remembered so much about this place and yet I had barely anything for myself yet. Or remembered anything of much use to anyone. The only thing it did confirm was that, wherever the hell I had come from, it was not this place. Not by a long shot.

The last thing I found, rolled nearly and repaired almost perfectly, were the clothing I'd been found in. I held it up and stared at them. Nothing that special, black pants, some kind of shirt, a uniform that had been repaired. Not a school uniform though. Not the shoes either. But the bra had been repaired. I wondered if they even knew what it was. Glancing around, I quickly slid the dress down, and pulled it back on. However uncomfortable these things were... I felt better immediately.

When everything was dry, all the clothing aired, I slowly repacked, leaving these things up the top. Whatever they were, they were all I had left from my past, and the only clue to my missing memories. I felt strangely homesick and sad that I couldn't listen to music from my own world.

Legolas returned the phone that night, with a new lot of arrows, and we sat there quietly with the rest of the Fellowship while he sharpened his knives. I liked watching him do it for some reason. But then, I liked watching him in general. Everything he did, every facial expression, every slight movement of his body, it fascinated me. It was like this obsessive compulsion to know his thoughts.

"We leave tomorrow before dawn." Aragorn said softly. All peace was gone from his face now and he was watching Sam pack. "Samwise, that might be better at the bottom. Roll your clothing, instead of fold it, and it will not get damp and will be smaller."

Sam nodded, tugging some things out, and started to repack. He didn't speak. He seemed focused on two things- Frodo and the packing. The other hobbits hesitated at Aragorn's words. I had noticed a kind of damp moldy smell from them, before we'd reached Lothlorien, and all four of them started to repack.

Merry glanced up from his spare shirt, as he rolled it up hard on the soft dry ground, "Where are we going next?"

"Down river and then across land to Mordor."

Gimli snorted at that. "It sounds easy."

"Let us hope so." Boromir muttered softly. "I intend on returning home."

He met my eyes and smiled somewhat. I relaxed, smiled back, and breathed out slowly. Okay. Boromir seemed good. Relaxed. That was nice. Maybe it was just all the elves that had gotten under his skin.