Sometime later, Legolas came over. "Here." Legolas held something out to me. The phone and charger. "It was in the sun as you asked."

"What is it?" Pippin glanced at the slender black object, attached to the solar charger, while he rolled up his socks. "A jewellery box?"

"Too small, Pip." Merry glanced at it too. He blinked at his own reflection in the shiny glass. "It must be a mirror."

"Kind of." I decided I'd look at it later. If it did work they'd all die of a heart attack. Quickly I slid it into the pocket, wrapping the wires up carefully, silently praying that it'd work …I needed some clues! Or if not clues... at least something to prove that 'my world' wasn't some crazy thing I'd made up in my head.

An elf strode into the middle of the group, for Aragorn, his robes flowing. I watched the Elf walk, fascinated, again finding the wonder that came with these creatures. They seemed unearthly. Okay, yes, I was having the occasional fun with one, but I was getting used to Legolas. I was seeing his earthly side. This elf didn't even look at us, he spoke to Aragorn and Legolas, and then strode back off into the fading darkness of the night.

"We will feast tonight." Aragorn sat up straighter.

"Won't we need sleep though?" Boromir muttered. "I mean-"

"The Lady Galadriel herself invited us. We're going." Aragorn made it pretty clear there was no room for argument. Boromir scowled but didn't argue. "So we bathe first."

"Now?" Merry blinked. He was still trying to re-pack his pack.

"Now." Aragorn stood. He met my eyes. "You would bathe in the same spot as last time."

I was about to say I wasn't really sure how to get there- it wasn't like I'd had daily baths in this place- but a hand closed on my shoulder and nearly gave me a heart attack. Another strange elf, another women I hadn't seen before, was there. I hadn't even heard her. "I guess..."

"We'll see you at the feast." Aragorn turned, pushing at Sam lightly, who was fumbling with his frying pan, trying to attach it. "This will be done."

"By the Elves?" Sam hesitated. He glanced at the frying pan in his hand, still black with burnt charcoal, and then at the women beside me, all glowing and perfectly clean. "Maybe I should-"

"We're their guests." Legolas's smile appeared, just for a moment. "They have offered."

"Come on, Sam." Aragorn moved away, glancing back at me, nodding a fraction.

I followed the new Elf lady to the baths, asking for her name, and receiving something in return that I couldn't pronounce. I tried, ending up with 'Tia', and it seemed to amuse her. Okay. Well, at least she was nice.

'Tia' showed about as much shame with my body as the others had, when I had occasionally bathed here, that was … no shame whatsoever. She didn't stare, just stood there matter of factly, as I self-consciously stripped off in the 'bath room'. But I did catch her staring at my ears, the ruined pieces of skin, and that didn't help much.

I slid into the water and bathed slowly, trying to relax, the heated mineral bath soaking into my muscles, my bones, tingling and separating sweat, dirt and other things from skin. I had been here several times since we'd come. The routine was always the same. I bathed while my clothes vanished. Usually they'd reappear almost as if magically cleaned, within half an hour, and by then I'd have soaked long enough in the fragrant water to carry the scent of jasmine and flowers for a good three or four days.

Today was slightly different though. Today, the water smelt different, more minty. Not mint, I sniffed the surface slowly, the little flowers swirling around my shoulders. But something that was a mix between mint, orange, and ...watermelon? It was a nice smell, kind of woke me up a bit, and I didn't fall into the same haze I usually did in the bath. This same smell was in the soap, clung to my hair, my skin, got under my nails. It was energetic... that was the only way to put it. A smell that made me feel a little more energy return.

And when Tia returned with the clothing, it was not my clothing. It was all white, all floaty, all girly.

"You bathe once more tomorrow." She informed me in her soft voice, as she draped it across a chair, her fingers lightly arranging the sleeves and stroking the dress. It glittered, as if there was crystals or something attached to the sleeves, and there was a belt of twisted ...silver? Or was it just that colour? "Come and dress."

Slowly I got out of the water. I had gained a bit of weight since coming here. We all had, really, that was kind of to be expected. But I noticed it jiggled less, my arms, my belly, my body was thicker, but not ...soft. Training with the men must have done some good. I flushed as she stared at me as well and grasped for the drying cloth quickly, and then the dress, my hands meeting soft silky fabric. If there wasn't traces of golden brown leaves sewn into, fading in and out of the white, it might have almost looked like a bloody wedding dress. This was how everyone around here liked to dress though. White with a side of colour.

This one was tight around my stomach and chest, with soft floating sleeves that hung off my shoulders, and a long full skirt It looked like it'd be heavy but I barely felt it as it was laced up my back. The necklace Legolas gave me hung over my chest, kind of obvious, and I was tempted to hide it. I suspected he'd like seeing it though so I left it.

Once it was over my head and laced up at the front, Tia slid something over my head, some kind of metal headpiece that sat against my forehead. She went to pull my hair back off my ears and I tugged away awkwardly.

"Sorry... I just ...want to leave them covered." I muttered.

"I understand." Tia nodded slowly, her eyes flickering to where my ears were once hole, and added, "Your clothing waits for you in your bed."

I wandered out, bare feet and the white hem brushing against the grass. Tia led the way, though she really didn't have to, I could see the feast from some distance off. The rest of the forest had gone dark, lamps dim and gentle, with one particular area of the trees all aglow with white and blue light. It was high up off the ground, casting great shadows along the green grass, the stream of waters, the statues, and it occurred to me that this would probably be the last time I'd see Lothlorien properly.

I gazed around, at the massive trees, felt the warmth of the ground under my feet, warm as if it was alive, the intricate statues, the short lush grass that cushioned my feet, just beginning to become damp with the evening dew. Saw Elves run past, laughing, light, their laughter like music that echoed through the quietening forest. This was the side of them we rarely saw- their playful side.

Now, even though I knew they had heard me, they ignored me. Feasts must have brought out their natural side, maybe, or maybe they'd gotten into the Elvish wine early. That reminded me. I had to avoid that stuff.

"Sorry. I just wanted to see it ..." I turned for Tia and found she was gone. I blinked, staring around, unsure. Which staircase went to the right tree?

"One last time." The voice was not Tia's voice. It was Lady Galadriel, robbed again in a white gown, her hands by her side as she moved slowly out of the darkness and towards me. She glowed, literally glowed, a faint light reflecting off trunk and leave as she passed it. The Lady of Light. I could see why. "Lothlorien passes into memory of us all. All Elves leave for the undying land."

"I know." I stared at her, her blue eyes piercing me, like they could read everything. I shivered slightly suddenly. Like with Lord Elrond, I saw everything about this woman, I knew everything. And I suspected she'd somehow helped me do it. It felt so invasive though, to see so much about her, to know so much. "Sorry."

But she smiled, a soft gentle smile, and I felt like it was okay, her hand reaching out to touch my arm. "Come with me." Lady Galadriel turned slowly, and glided into the darkness, the glow of her body showing me the direction she took. I went with her slowly, glancing back, no sign of Tia. The sheer weight of what I had seen about this woman, this elf, it staggered me. Yes- I'd known some stuff about Lord Elrond, but somehow Lady Galadriel... she awestruck me in a way he hadn't.

She towered over me, more than any woman I had met in my life, well over six feet tall. It was her hair that glowed, I realised, this incredible golden hair. And to add to her height was the sheer staggering heights her life had gone to...

She came from the Undying lands, she'd come here from there, and lived here. Rebellion, brothers, a life that I knew so much intimate detail about. Her first kingdom, which wasn't Lothlorien, and her lover, the Lord I'd seen. Her daughter, the Elf that had married Elrond, the Elf that had been raped and traumatised so badly by the Orcs that she was long gone to the undying lands. And her ring. Nenya. The Elvish ring of power, the one that controlled water, protection, concealment from Evil.

It suddenly occurred to me, as I silently followed her along a path she seemed to know well, that I hadn't had a single nightmare since being here. Nothing. Was that her doing?

"Yes." Galadriel's voice was soft, but it sent a shock through me, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking, what I was remembering. She turned towards me slowly, reaching out to grasp my hand, and held it in hers. I felt her ring against my skin. Expected some reaction to it. But there was nothing. It was warm, smooth, and I felt calmness seep into me, as her long fingers clasped mine, squeezing my hand.

I gazed up at her, her eyes meeting mine, and felt the sheer power of her energy seep over me. "I don't know why I remember these things." It was my way of an apology, maybe, for knowing such intimate stuff about her.

'Are you ready to die in order to be reborn?' The voice, the question from my memory, except that it ...it was her. Galadriel. She gazed at me quietly, her mouth not moving, but her voice in my head.

"It was you?" I gaped at her. The question blurt out, suddenly, my desperation and frustration at my own inability to remember my life, "Who am I?"

"Wenduin. More than that, I never knew." Galadriel turned slowly towards a silver pitcher, her free hand reaching out to grasp it, and she led me towards a small waterfall. "Your coming was not intended."

"By you?"

"By the world. You have seen what could be." Galadriel held the pitcher under the water, eyes on the water, her other hand still in mine. It seemed strangely intimate for her to do so, almost maternal, protective. Nenya, her ring, still sat against my skin. "Many seek to know what you see."

"Can you?" I asked quietly.

She withdrew the pitcher and shook her head slowly. "I see what you have seen. I have seen the path of the Fellowship also. But I did not anticipate you."

"Then why did you ask me to come?"

"I didn't." Galadriel turned towards me, and there was sadness there, this trace of grief that for a moment made her seem ...smaller. Older. Her eyes seemed ancient. "My daughter did. She did not intend on it. But ...her healing is not fast, and she dreams of other worlds, of escape. She saw you drowning, in pain, and she felt a kinship in a shared pain."

Her daughter. Celebrien. I swallowed quietly, as Galdriel's eyes stayed fixed in mine, and no longer was she this unearthly beauty, this incredible power. I saw the grieving mother for a moment, the hurt of a woman who's daughter had been hurt in the worst way, and shivered involuntary.

"Can others see what I see?"

"No." Galadriel moved away now, drawing me along side her, the pitcher lifted and poured slowly into a silver bowl. I knew exactly what it was. The mirror. "Do you know why it was decided to have nine members of the Fellowship?"

"No." I admitted quietly. "I shouldn't have come?"

"No." She seemed distracted though, staring down into the water of the bowl, and continued, "And yes. Your coming changed the course of history. What you remember... do not count on it. The slightest change can change the course of the future. There was to be nine members of the Fellowship, one for each Nasgul, but a tenth member was brought into it. And so it seems, there are no longer nine."

I wanted to ask if there was less. But I guessed what she was getting at. I felt it, suddenly, this chill, and it made her hand tighten on my skin. "There's another one of them?"

Galadriel nodded quietly. Her eyes left the water of the mirror and met my eyes. "Would you look?"

Of course I would look. But I hesitated. "What would look back?" I saw Frodo, I saw him with the bowl, and that eye. That flaming eye. It scared me.

"I cannot answer."

Slowly I went for the bowl, staring down, my own white face and white eyes staring back up at me. Her hand let go of my hand.

I saw Helm's Deep. I saw it, I saw it stormed by Orc, children in metal armour. Legolas, his face more taught with anxiety than I had ever seen it, staring at me with genuine fear, anger even loathing. He was shouting at me. The sheer look in his face hurt. Boromir, on top of me, struggling with me, eyes glazed.

And a man. A man with white hair, staring at me so intensely that I was sure he could really see me, his eyes boring into mine as he sat in a black throne. He stood up, striding towards me, grasping out and...

He could really see me. I was sure of it. He stared at me, hand reaching out, voice hissing, "Girl..."

I stood back, aware of how sweaty I suddenly was, legs shaking under me. Galadriel's hand clasped around mine and the sense of being watched vanished as if something was slapped away. The water no longer held images. It was just water.

I felt sick. I felt like I wanted to vomit. I sat down, legs shaking, right where I stood. Galadriel sat down too, to my surprise, her kind eyes in mine. Somehow I knew I was safe here with her. But...

"He wants me, doesn't he?"

"You have seen the way this will go, as have I, and yet have no power or strength. He cannot capture me. But you, Wenduin, would be simple." Galadriel said softly. She was stroking my hand, the warm metal of Nenya feeling so obvious against my skin, so protective. "Every step the Fellowship take, every movement Frodo makes with the ring, every memory you have yet to remember, and Saruman would capture you. What you remember could destroy us and restore the one ring to his master."

"So I can't go on..." I swallowed, throat dry, still trembling. That sense of real danger in Moria returned, only this time her words sunk deep, that I was defenceless. Weak. Easily caught. Distraction from Frodo if they had to protect me.

"You must go on. What you have seen, Wenduin, can also be used to the advantage of your friends. Your loved ones. Knowledge is a weapon that is feared most of all." Galadriel stood slowly, pulling me up, and as her grip on my hands refused to waver, I felt strength seeping back. She had to be putting it back.

"I can't defend myself." I said quietly. "I can't defend Frodo. I'm not a warrior like them."

"No." She agreed and reached down to pick up the pitcher. Galadriel's eyes had gone distant, as she gazed into the mirror once more, her hand softening around mine. "But you will go. I will join you at the feast."

I suspected this meant I was dismissed, because her hand released me, and I felt the warmth and safety of her grasp vanish with it. Nenya faded from my sight, as if it had never been there, like it had vanished.

Tia was there though, I realised, and I quietly followed her, leaving Galadriel to her visions.

The feast was amazing. Of course it was. Amazing food, amazing music, dancing, all of it. But I sat there distracted, ignoring the wine, anxiety ebbing and waning as I tried to think. So I knew stuff. Stuff that they wanted to know. Stuff that could destroy Frodo big time and throw the entire damn world into evil and chaos. Basically- if they captured me, I'd mess it all up. But I couldn't fight like the others. Oh, and apparently because I was a part of the Fellowship, there were now TEN of those bad floating ghost men things, not nine. I suspected this was very bad news. Very bad

I felt Legolas brush my hand under the table, and I held onto it, unsure about if I should tell him or not. He seemed tense too, but was that because he was picking up on my moods? Maybe. Already he'd asked me several times if I was okay.

Luckily the feast didn't go late. I followed the others to bed, and curled up alone. It wasn't long before I fell asleep. No sexy time with the elf tonight- I only woke hours later, curled up in Legolas' arms, while he lay there asleep.

So who had woken me? I blinked up sleepily, trying to see through the darkness of early dawn, hearing a twig crack and a shadow move in front of me as someone stood in the doorway. The light of the gentle lamp was across his face, etching every line, every frown, and every trace of grief and rage that covered his face.

Boromir.

I knew it was him and I stared at him, his face meeting mine, that shadow crossing his face as his eyes crossed from my face to Legolas. He knew. He understood. And before I could speak, he cut me off, his voice strangely tense.

"We leave soon. Dress."

Dress? I glanced down, finding myself more or less naked, the sheet covering me. Had Legolas undressed me? Or 'Tia'? Either was likely, really, but Boromir moved away, his face dark. Shit. Shit. Happy Boromir had exploded into dark angry ring affected Boromir... and it was my fault.

Shit!

"Relax." Legolas leaned up, slowly, hand brushing across my shoulder. "He should know. Let him calm down." I glanced back at him. He was naked. Openly, obviously, and not covered by a sheet.

Oh, shit!

I slid up slowly, trying to dress, Legolas standing and dressing slowly beside me. He kept touching me which didn't help much. "This isn't good, Leggy."

"We can still perform as a Fellowship, Wenduin. Duty comes before love." Legolas said calmly, sliding his shirt on, and then tugging the wrist guards on his wrists.

Wait, love? The word made my heart flip-flop, breath catch, and vomit threaten to protect all over his pretty face. Joy and dread filled me at that. Love? Love?! Before I could speak, Legolas had vanished, and I was left alone to finish dressing. Did I love Legolas? I didn't fucking know. I liked him, I liked him a lot for me to let him near me naked, but ...love?

"Come on, Wendy!" Pippin called. "We have to get there at dawn!"

I dressed faster, trying to get the right pieces on at the right times, tugging the headpiece off my head. Someone had undressed me but not taken this off? Well, that sucked. I smiled weakly as Pippin ran in, tugging on my last boot.

"Nearly done." I told him. "Everyone ready?"

"Sam's making sure all his things are there." Pippin informed me, flopping down, picking up the headpiece. "This was pretty"

"Thanks." I laced it up quickly. Pippin stood up, followed me out, and we stood around while Sam made sure everything was where it was meant to be. Then Aragorn led us through the forest, the early morning mist hiding the tops of the trees overhead, silent Elves standing around watching us leave.

It felt like they were watching a funeral. No one smiled. No one cheered. It seemed depressing to me.

When we reached a river the fog still hung heavy in the trees, boats waiting for us along the bank, several Elves waiting. Haldier was there, I noticed, as was Celeborn. Aragorn spoke with them quietly and turned to us, all lined up behind him, energy returning to his face. Back to danger! Men must have loved this stuff

"We will pack the boats. Frodo, Sam, with me. Pippin, Merry, with Boromir." That meant Gimli, myself and Legolas would be in the third. I nodded vaguely and followed Legolas and Gimli to the boats. We started to pack, careful with the weight, though Legolas seemed less concerned than Gimli.

"You can sit in front of me." Gimli let me know, reaching up to take my pack, easily lifting it. I heard the jingle of gemstones and hesitated An idea sprung to mind. I didn't know why but it felt like a good idea somehow.

"Hang on, I need something..." I reached for the top, tugging out the little velvet bag of various gemstones, and opened it to make sure they were all there. They glittered in the light. Yep. All there. I slid them into a pocket as I did the pack up and it was slid back into the boat.

Elves came, once we'd finished, starting to pack other things into the boats. Packets of bread, wrapped in leaves, food, water, some little packages such as hooks. Probably fresh clothing, soap, given how pretty they were. A few combs? I smiled somewhat as I saw Pippin and Merry had located the bread and started to 'sample just a few bites'. Then they had to check to see if those ones, in that leaf, were a different flavour.

"Is it?"

"Not sure." Pippin responded, finishing his second off, and reaching for a third. "I'll test one more." Thirty seconds later, "No, still the same. It's good though."

Merry glanced away, disappointed, and Pippin grabbed for a fourth and drowned it down before Merry could look around.

"Lembas! Elvish Way-bread. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man ." Legolas said, cheerful, holding one up, biting into it as he spoke. I giggled softly as he turned away, clearly having no idea what a hobbit needed, the look on Pippin's face priceless.

"How many did you eat?" Merry said softly. I noticed he still had half a piece in his hand, and he stared at it, as if not sure if he should finish it.

"Four." Pippin burped, glancing around, meeting my eyes. My smile seemed to put him at ease though. Merry snuck the last of his lembas as fast as he could, hiding it from the Elves, looking kind of guilty.

Something in the water caught our attention, further down, and Aragorn called softly, "Come on, stand in a line."

We scrambled up to the bank, and stood in a line, seeing a swan boat gently drift around the edge of the river. As if pulled to us, it seemed to need no guidance, Galadriel standing in it with her hands folded in front of her. There were Elves there, of course, gently paddling up, but they barely touched the water with them.

As she stepped out slowly, taking the hand of Celeborn, Elves stood forward, cloaks in their hands. Celeborn spoke calmly, eyes moving across us, "Never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people. May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes."

Tia moved towards me, pulling the cloak around me, and carefully did a tiny green and silver leaf brooch up over my throat. There was a trace of a smile on her face as she caught my eyes, her fingers running across the edge, before she stood back.

The cloak felt heavy, enough for me to feel the weight of it, but it didn't feel over-heavy. Warm, soft, and it felt safe.

Galadriel moved along, her feet making no sound on the grass, sunlight finally breaking through the fog and casting us all in a golden glow. I saw that there were objects picked up by our Elves, objects wrapped in soft cloth, offered to her as she moved to each of us

"My gift for you, Legolas, is a bow of the Galadhrim, worthy of the skill of our woodland kin." She held out a bow, unwrapping it slowly, and the look in Legolas face was heart stopping. He seemed in awe of it... but I'd seen this look on his face. Again, my heart flip flopped, the word 'love' dancing through my head. That look was sometimes directed at me too.

"These are the daggers of the Noldorin. They have already seen service in war. Do not fear, young Peregrin Took. You will find your courage." Galadriel gently unwrapped and offered Pippin and Merry daggers and belts, perfectly sized for them, her warm smile and the sunshine easing their tense shoulders.

"And for you, Samwise Gamgee: Elven rope, made of hithlain." Galadriel continued, turning her attention to Sam beside me, holding out a long silky looking rope.

"Thank you, my lady." Sam glanced sideways at Merry and Pippin, as they were doing their belts up, and to her amusement, he asked, "Have you run out of those nice, shiny daggers?"

She smiled at him, moving sideways, before her eyes met mine. I swallowed, our eyes meeting, it felt like time was freezing around us. When Galadriel spoke, her voice seemed to drown out all other sounds, as if it was just the two of us in the world.

"And for you, Wenduin." She took my hand and slid a small sword, looking as if it was exactly the same, the length from my wrist to my shoulder. Elven runes were etched along the blade, the handle curved and beautiful, the blade curved back. It was so light, I could barely feel the weight of it, and as I tightened my grasp around it I swore I felt something else pressed into my hand, something small and circle, but she had concealed it and I didn't ask. Galadriel didn't offer any more insight, she didn't even tell me the name, but her eyes met mine, and she smiled before moving on to Gimli.

I felt the ring in my palm, under the sword, half listening as Gimli spoke.

"And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves?"

"Nothing." Gimli grunted. "Except to look upon the Lady of the Galadhrim one last time, for she is more fair than all the jewels beneath the earth."

There was a soft laughter at that, Galadriel laughing, as Gimli hesitated.

"Actually, there was one thing - ah, agh, that's quite impossible. Stupid to ask." He moved closer, quiet

I moved back, slowly, Legolas drawing me back. He took the sword and belt, which I had been too distracted to even notice, doing it around my waist as I stared at the ring concealed in my palm. At first I'd wondered if it was her ring, Nenya, but to my relief it wasn't even slightly like it. This ring was small, as silver as hers, but with silver waves crashing around, wrapping around each other and a small bright silvery blue stone that glinted in the early morning light.

Legolas reached for it, touching it, hesitating as his fingertip grazed over it. Then he met my eyes "This is no small gift."

"It looks small to me." I joked, quietly, but he took the ring and pushed it quietly up one of my fingers, the contact of this motion making goosebumps rise on my arms under the shift. Legolas gazed at it with wonder, half hiding it under his own hand, before his hands squeezed mine. His attention went back to the bow, awe on his face, and I turned to see Aragorn striding off with Celeborn. What had he gotten?

"Come." Legolas said, drawing me towards our boat. "Aragorn must speak with Lord Celeborn and then we will leave."

"So fast?"

Legolas nodded. I felt the weight of my gemstones, as we headed for the boat, remembering what I'd intended to do. Quickly I moved away towards Galadriel, who was moving back, her attention returning to me. She almost seemed amused as I tugged the pouch out and offered it.

"Um, here."

She took it and opened it, reaching in to touch the gemstones quietly. "A gift?"

"For being so good to us. I think you'd do more with them than I would." I felt embarrassed, as she drew them out into her palm one by one, but Galadriel really seemed to like them. Okay. Nice.

She reached out for my hand, concealed slightly from the others by trees, and touched the ring she had given me. "My daughter would have you wear this. Where you lack strength, you are free to give that strength to other places. Find that strength and draw upon it instead."

Before I could ask what she meant, Legolas was back, and I was led to the boat.

Galadriel farewelled us from the bank, as we moved away from the bank, her eyes haunting me long after she vanished out of sight. Elves stood along the bank, watching us quietly, a solemn procession that chilled me to the bone.

But somehow I felt okay, felt the way the ring clung to my finger, and felt the warmth of the others. I liked the others. It would be okay. She wouldn't give us all these special gifts if she'd seen us all die.

No one spoke for a very long time. Quietly Legolas paddled behind me, leading the others, and it seemed the slightest motion of the paddle was enough to propel us beautifully through the river.

Slowly Lothlorien drifted away, the forest changing swiftly, and Gimli finally spoke only when we'd been travelling for some time. He'd seemed unable to speak but now...

"I have taken my worst wound at this parting, having looked my last upon that which is fairest. Haugh, henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me." Gimli breathed out, slowly from behind me.

"What was it?"

"I asked her for one hair from her golden head. She gave me three."

I smiled at that, shutting my eyes as the warmth of the sunlight filled my body. I still didn't get the dwarf elf hatred thing and now, I was even more baffled. But it didn't seem to matter.

We went quiet again as the river contained, finally branching out into a wider river, great cliffs rising around us. Fish jumped, birds swooped and sang, the land healthy and happy. I dozed, on and off, it was hard not to. Sometimes when I opened my eyes, the others were ahead, or behind, and when it was my turn to paddle, I found it surprisingly easy. Only a quick stop for lunch, which was more an excuse to go to the toilet for everyone than anything, and then we were back in the boats.

As beautiful as it was to drift downstream with my favorite elf and my favorite dwarf, though admittadly I had only met a few of them, the warm fuzziness that came with Lothlorien faded. It was almost as if the magic and protection of that place stopped and with it, our comfort. The only person who seemed to perk up at this release of energy was Boromir, who's face had gained color again, shoulders no longer slumping. Whatever that place had done to him, whatever he'd felt about his father and his brother, he hadn't been able to hide from it there.

I met his eyes once. Hurt flashed across it, betrayal, like I'd cheated on him. Guilt dogged at me, it tore at my insides, and I couldn't understand why. Why should I feel so bad about his hurt? Yes, okay, I was sleeping with the Elf. But it seemed natural. It felt natural. I didn't know if I loved Legolas but … I liked him a hell of a lot, and anyway, besides that 'L' word he'd slipped earlier, he'd made it pretty clear that this was about two friends taking comfort without shame.

Without shame.

So why did I feel so fucking bad now that Boromir knew? I wouldn't marry his brother just because he wanted me to. The idea repulsed me.

I gritted my teeth as he refused to look at me for the rest of the afternoon, the hot sun beating down on us, sending little rivers of sweat down my back. We all sweated, except for Legolas naturally, but I'd stopped caring so much. I did start craving a swim in the river by the time it reached mid-afternoon and the sun was at the hottest all day.

"You want to try, Wendy?" Gimli glanced backwards at me, holding the paddle. We were behind the others, but no one seemed to be in too great a rush with paddling, the current of the river and the boats were moving at a good speed without great effort. Another magic elf trick? Magic boats?

"Of course!" Come to think of it, why hadn't I been offered this before? Gimli and Legolas had both taken turns. I took it and stared at it. It was pretty light for the size of it. "So I-"

"Just push the water, slowly. The boat will do the rest." Legolas spoke from behind me.

He was right, and I started to take the idea of 'magic elf boats' seriously, because the boat seriously did seem to be doing a lot on its own. All I had to do was push the water at a steady pace, so I didn't turn the boat in one direction, and we were moving.

After an hour Legolas took over once more. He had this smile on his face though and I wanted to jab him in his stomach. Right where that birthmark was. Remind him that he couldn't make fun of me because I'd seen him naked. Hell, I'd heard him fart during sex. How many people could say they'd heard an elf fart in the middle of happy fun naked time?

Night approached. Aragorn's mood had shifted to tense business mode all afternoon, and when I glanced at Leglolas, he too was back to 'Warrior'. I had to guess Boromir was too. There was a soft call from Aragorn to 'gather'.

All three boats lining up for them to have a quick talk in Elvish. As Aragorn and Legolas spoke for just a minute, Boromir's face darkened, clearly annoyed by the Elvish. He was just about to paddle off again when Aragorn leaned forward to nudge Sam awake.

"Sam, grasp onto Boromir and Legolas boats." When he had, and the three of us were steady, he informed all of us, "We believe we are being tracked."

"Already?" Sam said, sleepily, glancing at us. He yawned and reached forward for his water pack.

"We should continue through the night." Boromir didn't look at me, or Legolas, his eyes on Aragorn alone.

"It is best." Legolas nodded. Something in Boromir's face twitched but he didn't speak.

"What about dinner?" Sam asked quietly.

"I need to ...you know, pee." Merry informed Boromir in a hiss, his cheeks reddening slightly, as if 'pee' was the kind of information you didn't share in front of a woman. I knew how men peed long before I'd seen an adult's peepee.

"Lembas. Water. No fires are safe right now. We will get some distance ahead, so we may get some rest on land tomorrow night, and get some food." Aragorn added, with a twitch of his mouth, "And you should pee from the boat. Boromir can pull it back if you're shy."

"And scout." Legolas said quietly.

"And scout. Everyone keep quiet tonight- let Legolas listen through the darkness." Aragorn's voice had already dropped. He glanced up at the stars. "We will paddle, but quietly, and slowly. If you must sleep, take turns."

And with that, we moved away again. Paddles were suddenly quieter, dipping into the water with barely a sound, the boats moving with the flow of the currents and the encouragement of whoever was paddling. Gimli paddled, somehow shifting to my front without us tipping the boat, keeping watch head as we followed Aragorn's boat. He must have been the one seeking the fastest safest currents.

Aragorn wasn't shy, apparently, because I did see him at one point kneel in the boat, point and let it flow. I tried to not laugh as Sam hissed something about ladies. Aragorn probably knew what I'd been up to with Legolas so...

"Wenduin, sit behind me." Legolas said, suddenly, and I blinked at him. Was he worried about what I'd see?

"Right now?"

"You can sleep there." Legolas nodded and reached over.

I stood slowly, uneasy, but the boat didn't wobble too much. Somehow, with Legolas help, I managed to get to the space behind him without falling in. He shifted forward and I settled down, breathing out with a long sigh.

I relaxed, now in the back of the boat, one of Legolas hands reaching out to grasp my hand. Looking back, his attention was on the dark forests around us, that unearthly look back on his face. What could he hear? See? I was so curious about it.

Lembas was offered to me from Gimli, and remembering what Legolas had said, I only took a small bite before passing it back to Legolas. With a mouthful of water, I shut my eyes, and tried to sleep.

Course, bladders didn't always listen to good plans, and I realised the problem with Aragorn's plan long before he did. My own bladder let me know it was upset around the same time Gimli cleared his throat and muttered about land, staring at me, his face reddening.

"Aragorn, we should land for a breather." Gimli finally said, clearing his throat, uncomfortable."

"We can't, Gimli." Aragorn called softly. "You will have to aim from the boat."

"With the Lady Wenduin... couldn't empty myself in front of her. Wouldn't be right." Gimli said quietly.

Aragorn glanced back, shaking his head, the trace of a smile there.

He wanted to pee. He couldn't hide it from me when he was in front of me.

So did I, I realised, I hadn't gone since our lunch stop. I was busting.

We stopped, quickly, and took turns rushing into the forest. Aragorn did not let me stay long on my own. I got about two minutes before he was calling, quietly, and we were shoved back into the boats.

I rested on the packs in the back, trying to sleep, and was woken up midway through the night for my paddling shift. In the dark it was another world on the river. Every sound seemed amplified. Every movement on the bank, every twig that cracked, I'd try and see it. I wished I had a high power flash light. Legolas stared into the dark, at every sound, and I had to hope that he knew what was going on out there.

The moon, still very large, cast a silver light over the river, making Legolas hair look almost white, and the stars were covering the sky. The river reflected it, making it look as if we were floating along stars, the waters calmer and quieter. Cliffs rose around us, big black things, sometimes falling down where the outline of tall trees jutted up against the dark sky. Unearthly cries echoed suddenly. The sound of things in trees, ground, movement. Rocks falling. Water splashing.

It seriously unnerved me and I had no clue how Gimli could sleep with all that noise.

I reached out to touch Legolas shoulder, one of his hands coming to hold mine, and he twisted around to stare at me.

"Wenduin?" He spoke softly but it sounded loud in the night air.

"Can you tell what makes those noises?"

Legolas nodded, squeezing my hand, and took the paddle from me. "There were wild horses asleep far behind us. An owl startled one."

That was what I'd heard?! "That was it?" It had sounded so loud like it was right beside us.

"No." Legolas scowled slightly then, just a slight movement of his face, but for him it was like screaming 'DISGUST!'. "The Orcs now eat them."

Now eat them? It'd been five minutes ago. I had this sudden image of ...and felt not the slightest bit hungry now. Poor horses.

A hand brushed over my face, fingers grazing the remains of my ear, and Legolas kissed me just a moment, just a brush of lips. Then he turned around, taking the paddle, saying softly, "They have stopped tracking us for an hour." He added as he turned around slowly. "But I am listening to them. We are gaining distance. Sleep and relax."

Sleep and relax. Haha. Yeah, right. I touched my lips, the feel of his mouth still lingering, heart a little faster now. It had been probably to comfort but … he'd never done that before. Never in public. Usually any kind of kiss was in private, when no one else was around. Had anyone noticed?

I didn't think so. I heard Legolas call softly to Aragorn in Elvish, who glanced back, and then Aragorn moved ahead to where Boromir's boat was. We sped up, cutting through the water silently, speed increasing once more.

I did manage to sleep though, somehow, curled up in the warm Lothlorien cloak on top of the packs. It was becoming light by the time I woke.

We had to repeat the bathroom stop that morning. Legolas moved up the hill to scout for the Orc tracking us. I knew it was partly because of me- they would have probably just peed out of the side of the boat if the hobbits hadn't been so self-concious about doing it in front of me, or for my own need- but when I muttered an appology to Aragorn, he shrugged.

"With the Orc having fallen so far back, we can risk a short time on the land." He grabbed an apple, cutting it in two, and handed me half. "So eat."

I took a bite as I sat down beside him, watching the river go past, the silvery boats bobbing up and down. "There are wild horses around here?"

"Not wild, exactly." Aragorn sat down as well. Boromir moved past, tugging his belt back on, eyes on the river instead of us. "Boromir, can you secure your boat better?"

Boromir nodded and headed down to drag his boat a bit further up the bank.

"The men of Rohan release their horses to roam wild." Aragorn explained. "Some have grown too old for service, some have been injured, and they will release their mares to birth in the plains. For Orc to be freely killing their horses at will... It is not the kind of thing the people of Rohan would once allow."

"So they just get rid of them?" I blinked at him. "If they can't work?"

"No." Aragorn smiled somewhat. "No. They love their horses as they love their children. A life of service is rewarded by freedom. A mare is free to raise her foal free beside men, for no mare roams too far from her master's side, and the foal is treasured and protected. They value their horses too much to abandon them. The capture or killing of the wild horses is seen as great a crime as the capture or killing of a horse in their stable."

I nodded, taking another big bite of the apple, gazing out across the river at the other side of the bank. So we had to be in their lands, if we'd passed some of their horses. Or maybe the horses roamed a long way sometimes.

We stayed for half an hour that morning, allowing Sam to cook a hurried hot breakfast, and slid back into the water only when we each had a bowlful of ...whatever it was. Oats and saltanas, I had to guess, with some herb he'd picked from the side of the river.

Sitting in the boat behind Legolas got old fast. By midmorning, I was bored, and not sure what the hell to do with myself. I tugged out my phone as we floated downstream, fiddling, the sun no longer warming or calming, but a bit annoying, a bit too hot. And yet I couldn't drink a lot. If I did... more peeing, and that was not helpful at all.

Gimli sat in front of me, paddling, humming something to himself under his breath. If it was interrupting Legolas he didn't say. The smell of dwarf sweat was not... exactly nice. But then, I probably stank too.

"How long down here?" I asked softly, glancing back at Legolas, who had his eyes fixed on the banks. "What can you see or hear?"

Legolas frowned at me and then at my hand. But I heard it too. Music! We both stared at the phone in my hand, the screem doing a little blue swirl, then 'Samsung'. For a moment I saw it as he must have, this tiny over-shiny black object. With moving pictures and a song.

He moved fast, bow out, arrow at my hands, and I quickly shoved the phone out of his sight. Legolas narrowed his eyes, suspicious, just about ready to kill my poor phone with an arrow. "Magic."

"It's ..." I was going to say 'just a phone'. But that would mean nothing to him. I hesitated, pushing Legolas arrow down, and tried, "Safe. Don't shoot it."

I returned my attention to the phone in my lap, staring down, not sure what I was expecting. It was a big phone, a 'smart phone', and had somehow survived the river. The background was of …

Legolas. Well, sort of. It was of a blonde man, long hair, wearing clothing that more or less matched what Legolas had worn in Lothlorien. Except that this man was wearing fake elf ears, was holding a phone in his hand, and his bow was pretty fake as well. His face was different too, squarer.

And beside him, me. Dressed as Gimli. His arm around me. The whole 'Fellowship' around us, sort of, except that the hobbits weren't miniature and Boromir had a fake beard on.

Somehow this image really embarrassed me.

He shifted closer, twisting around, pushing the paddle at Gimli. "Paddle." Then he shifted closer, eyes narrowed, staring at the background of my poor phone. "What is that?"

The man on my phone had dark eyebrows, and a slightly more human-like face, where as the suspicious real one hovering over it had the pale eyebrows of a natural blonde, and the slightly alien face that seemed to come as part of the elf package. But the man in my phone did things to me that Legolas did. Heart fluttering, swallowing, affection grabbing face...

"Why are you dressed as Gimli?"

"Because I was too fat and short to be Eowyn or Arwen..." The words came out, words that hurt, as I stared at my own plump self in the photo. Legolas had seen me right through the beard. I swallowed, throat dry, wishing I hadn't turned it on now. What had I wanted to see? "We were cosplaying."

"What is that?"

"Pretending to be... people. We admire." My head was still caught on the 'too fat and short' part. Who had said that? The words I'd remembered weren't mine. The man had said them. Legolas? But he was my boyfriend. And he'd been annoyed when I'd been upset. Said he'd just been truthful with me, because he loved me, and anyway, Legolas and Gimli were best friends.

I wanted to throw the phone into the river. This memory wasn't one I wanted to remember. I felt sick. Was my feelings for Legolas real? Or were they for this boyfriend? He dazzled me and hurt me and …

"Wenduin?" Legolas said softly, grasping my hand. I blinked up at him. He was waiting for an answer to a question.

"Sorry, I missed what you said."

"You admire Gimli?"

I nodded, slowly, Gimli glancing back and meeting my eyes. Legolas's smile returned, the shadow of something hidden deep inside, but his eyes went down to the photo again. "What is this?"

"It's a phone. This is a photo of me and … friends. A special kind of painting." I didn't know how better to explain it. "In a special ...container. It does different things. Shouldn't you be keeping watch?" I couldn't even look him in the eye now. I had a boyfriend. I didn't remember his name but I knew I had one.

"You were too fat to dress as the Lady Arwen?"

"God, let it go. This isn't one memory I want to remember." I muttered, gritting my teeth, trying to not ...I didn't know. It was bringing up feelings, memories, of feeling ...fat, strange, and desperate for approval. It hurt. I loved that boyfriend and it hurt. But he treated me so good while we were there. People had loved it. The Legolas Gimli pairing. Fans of slash had loved it.

"Tell me."

I shook my head, gritted my teeth, and started to fiddle with the phone's screen, touching it, trying to find music instead. Legolas jumped as the screen responded to my touch and, slowly, he reached out to touch it too.

"Wenduin..."

"You need to keep watch." I muttered. Shoved his hand off the phone. The gallery was there, filled with images of that day, with a little label 'Fellowship Cosplay 2012'.

Legolas glanced back over his shoulder. Boromir and Aragorn were some distnace ahead, not too far, Gimli was staring ahead. Probably trying to not hear us. Then he shook his head. "I know you're upset. We are lovers. What upsets you, I share."

Gimli actually coughed at that, but he didn't stare back, and I wondered if he'd known too. Guess this thing was out in the open now.

"He was my boyfriend." At the blank look on Legolas face, I frowned, and tried to think of how to put this in a Middle Earth way. Fuck. Was this place even real or was I just ...unconcious somewhere? "We were courting."

That made sense to Legolas and from the actual hurt there, I wished I hadn't said it. "I didn't remember and now ..."

And now I didn't know if I wanted to 'court' that guy. I felt something but... the first memory of him and whatever I had felt before the head injury, I wasn't sure if I … I didn't know. Over the past month I had started to like myself, be happy about my body even though it was a bit bigger, and feel like my archery was actually worth admiring. Then this guy and this memory, and this 'Be Gimli, because you're the right body size.' thing came to mind.

"You wish to cancel our ..." He seemed really taken back.

"No." The strength and volume, and the sheer feeling behind that word, it surprised me how much I didn't want that. The way he looked at me, like I was some kind of goddess, and touched me without repulsuion, just the sheer idea of …

Aragorn must have heard it, because he glanced back, and I lowered my voice. "No. It's just ...I'm confused." It was lame, I knew that, but it was all I had. Confused and hurt and suddenly having feelings for a guy who seemed like a jerk. "It was a memory. I don't even know if we are still... if he's still my boyfriend. But I remembered when he said I was too short and round to cosplay as one of the women from-" Lord of the Rings, "-from Middle Earth. So I went as Gimli. He went as you."

Legolas blinked slowly. A man had gone as him. Dressed, as him, admiring him. "As me."

"He admires you, I guess." I said quietly.

"They know of us? Before we knew?"

Uh oh. How did I explain that? I shrugged. "I guess... so."

"How many in your world know of the Fellowship?" Legolas shifted closer, voice soft, glancing around as if someone from 'my world' was about to pop into the boat. "Of the Ring?"

"I don't know." It was only a half lie. I didn't really know. I knew we'd known, clearly, we'd dressed up as them. But then? We'd been playing, relaxed, no danger. Right now? I was in a boat, floating down near Frodo and the Ring, and could have been killed by a troll, orcs, and a Balrong. A real one. Not a fake one. Just a few miles away, maybe, orcs had just feasted on raw horse meat. Real Orcs. Bad ones. Ones that raped women even. And if they found us, they'd kill us, and take Frodo. Or maybe they'd just kill him then and there.

Whatever we'd been doing, it had been a game. This was fucking real. I shifted on the wooden seat, reaching out to touch the water, the coolness slipping through my fingers. I answered, half hating what I said, but, "I think … a few." The lie weighed on me the secnd I said it. I didn't know.

"The child, would she know?"

The child? I blinked at him. The girl, I remembered, the one that had been found with me. She'd barely been on my mind. I guessed, because she was with the Elves, she was safe. But … "She might..."

Legolas and I sat there, quiet, as Gimli paddled after the other boats. Concern was on his face. I wasn't sure what to say. What could we do? Ring Elrond? I stared at my phone. 'Emergency calls only.' Yes, this might be one, but probably not what the phone meant.

"How many know in your world of us?" Legolas asked softly. He actually turned to face me in the boat, arms on his legs, fixing me with a stare that went right through me. Trust an Elf to turn in a boat this size without rocking it, seriously.

"I don't know. A lot, maybe."

"We are famous?"

I nodded, shifted awkwardly, not sure how to … but at least it attracted away from jerk of a boyfriend memory. "Well, yeah. But I don't ...remember anything about it. I just ...know that you're all known."

"What about you?"

"I wasn't meant to be here." I muttered. It was true. "I wish I remembered more."

"If we are known..." To my surprise, Legolas actually smiled then, a smile full of energy which made heat flood my chest. He reached out to take my hands and squeezed them hard, voice soft. "Then we may succeed without Gandalf, if your people heard of our deeds, and this Fellowship may yet succeed. The man you courted was wrong, Wenduin, for no man would view you as anything but a woman. The three of us must keep this quiet." He glanced back at Gimli. "Of what we have learnt."

"I won't speak of it." Gimli grunted, glancing back, and glanced down at my chest ."You don't look like me. The man was wrong."

My cheeks heated as he turned back, the shadow in Legolas face fading, as he knelt forward to touch my face again, before he turned around to face forward. "Let us catch up. Lord Elrond will guard the child."

I stared at his back, as he sat still, words dancing in my head. I wanted to keep ...being intimate? I didn't want him to draw away? That the guy I'd seen was a jerk? That I'd started to feel as if I was actually desirable with Legolas? Hell, not just Legolas, Boromir too.

As we went on, I fiddled, quietly staring at the photos. While the first, the background of my phone, had triggered memories, nothing else did. They were strangers to me, everyone, and the names on the list were equally as strange. I had 'Mum', 'Dad', but that was it, and they had no photos to go with the names, nothing except for a number that meant nothing to me. 'Work' was just as elusive. There was even a couple of movies on the phone, and some books, but by the time I got to them, the already low battery was now giving warning vibrations.

"Keep it hidden, Wenduin. The light would be noticed by the others." Gimli had turned to hand Legolas the paddle.

It was getting dark and reluctantly I turned off the sound and switched the phone off, so that the light wouldn't be noticeable on my face. It was probably better to hide it. Gimli and Legolas had taken it well, sort of, but the others might not.