A/N:
WARNING: Attempted rape in chapter.
This chapter is the first to be edited.
That night we could finally rest on the bank for a few hours before returning to the boats and I spent some of the night paddling, some of the night asleep, the conversation dancing in my head. I tried to keep the phone hidden so I resisted touching it during the night- the light would show up- but I wanted to. I wanted to find out what else it had on it. The battery probably needed charging anyway.
Boromir avoided me. He just ...wandered off, if I came, he spoke as if I wasn't there, and somehow this hurt more than anything else. Yes- we'd already been separate in the boats, but suddenly... his silence hurt more than any insults. I liked the man. I hadn't meant to hurt him. I couldn't sleep well that night, wishing he'd let me come close to speak, to ...I didn't know. Talk about what he'd seen. What it was. Tell him that ...what? I liked Legolas? It seemed so childish.
When light came on the third day on the river, the landscape had changed, the cliffs almost gone now, the hills rising up. Legolas was tensed again, as if he could sense something, and the mood of the Fellowship hadn't improved. I felt it, as everyone probably did, that we were a long way now from the safety of Lothlorien. That we were back on a deadly quest of some kind.
I put the phone in the sunlight with the solar panel charger, waiting, while Legolas kept an eye on the banks. He seemed to be at ease with the phone now, either that or there were worse problems, because he was distracted all day. So I played Angry birds between paddling. Silly, yeah, but somehow... it helped.
We stopped that night, before it got dark, Aragorn calling something out about 'bathing'.
Legolas glanced towards the east bank and said something in Elvish, hurriedly. I hoped it wasn't 'There's a bunch of Orc over there'.
Aragorn was already stripping his tunic off though. "Yes, Legolas. Sam, make a small fire, and cook the last of the meat. We may not have a few hours to wash for some time, or to eat, so we eat, we bathe, and we wash. The meat should be finished while we have some distance."
Sam was already tugging his frying pan off his pack, eagerly asking, "Can I cook the bacon?"
"It should be safe enough." Aragorn nodded. He glanced up to Boromir, who was already walking away, "Boromir?"
"Wood." Boromir's eyes met mine, he flinched, and turned his back to us. "I will find it."
"I'll try and catch a fish." Pippin offered.
Aragorn nodded, a small smile on his face, and turned to me as he flung his shirt on the bank. "Will you bathe though it is dark?"
"Yeah." I needed to. I stank. Cold water didn't scare me right now.
"Legolas will guard you then." He didn't even have to ask. I didn't mind this time. I nodded, turning to Legolas, who was already heading in the opposite direction to Boromir. Aragorn called after us, "Do not be long."
I waded into the water over the pebbly beach, the faint moonlight on us, and washed as fast as I could with the small bar of soap I'd had packed. I could feel Legolas gaze on me, sort of, but it felt different to Lothlorien. When I got naked in Lothlorien, it was ...well, lust, and affection, and intense focus on me.
I twisted around to gaze up at him in the water. He stood there, eyes on me, but ears everywhere else. No real lust, not really, except for a trace of affection, his focus on the world. Guarding me and the Fellowship. It wasn't just that though. He heard something.
"You hear Orc?"
Leoglas nodded, vaguely, his gaze going over me to the far bank. "More than that, I feel. We are safe to rest overnight. Aragorn is right." But still, his grip on his bow wasn't faltering, and he was as tense as a coiled spring. How he kept that energy held so well was beyond me... he seemed ready for battle day or night without rest. Elf thing again.
The urge to ask him what he'd meant by the 'l word' rose but I didn't want to distract him. So I finished washing, the clean cold water feeling amazing, before wading out slowly, my wet shirt clutching to my body tight. This did get Legolas attention, who stepped forward, reaching out with his free hand to run his hand along my side. Heat blossomed in my face and body at that slight touch, his head ducking down, kissing the side of my neck slowly.
"No man has this body, Wenduin, and you do not resemble Gimli." He murmured. Whatever those Gimli slashers thought... he was apparently more turned on by me right now, than the idea of Gimli.
"Do you always picture Gimli when you're touching me?" I teased, inhaling as teeth nipped my neck, legs trembling while the tip of his bow ran up the inside of my thigh. Oh yeah. So this was what they were for.
"Never." The hand slid up, under my shirt, and I felt his hand tremble, the soft growl of lust in his voice. He grasped the leaf he'd given me, under my shirt, between my breasts, fingers spreading out to stroke the sensitive skin around it. "When we are safer-"
"In the water?"
Legolas laughed, a deep laugh, as he dropped his hand and his bow. "My Lady, in the water, if that's what she asks for. But-" The sound of something falling, Legolas spun around, blocking me, his good mood vanishing, and instantly his body blocked me.
Boromir stood there, face drained of blood, pieces of branches dropped around his legs. stared at us. I felt naked, aware of how transparent the shirt was now, of how so much thigh and legs were bared, everything... and was suddenly glad that Legolas was between us, because the look on Boromir's face, the anger, the hurt, it was back again. It stabbed deep inside me.
He turned, striding away, only bending to snatch up another piece of wood to add to his armload. Legolas only relaxed when he was gone.
"Be careful of him, A'maelamin." He muttered, turning to me, and held out my spare shirt.
Somehow I knew he was right... I felt it too. Where Legolas was a coiled wire, Boromir was so tense that he felt like he was about to snap, and I didn't like it. I dressed quickly, clothes sticking to damp skin, and took the damp shirt back to where Sam now had a little hot fire going. I draped it over the big rocks on the beach beside Aragorn's now wet shirt.
"Did you see him?" Legolas spoke softly to Aragorn. For a moment I thought he meant Boromir but Boromir was right there.
Aragorn nodded, glancing at the hobbits, then at Boromir. "We did."
Legolas nodded, his cryptic question bothering me, but he didn't offer anymore information. See who?
Boromir didn't speak, just sat there, staring at the fire. Sam handed out plates of food, mostly meat, and there was even pieces of a fish. Pippin was clearly successful in his
"Have some food, Mr. Frodo." Sam offered Frodo a plate, who sat there, looking numb.
"No, Sam."
"You haven't eaten anything all day. You're not sleeping, either. Don't think I haven't noticed. Mr. Frodo…"
I blinked. I'd been so caught up in my own shit I'd barely thought about him. Fuck. I was a pretty useless Fellowship member apparently. Frodo looked strung out worse than any of us. I wanted to help but...
"But you're not! I'm here to help you. I promised Gandalf that I would." Sam shoved the plate at him. Frodo got it, whether he liked it or not, shoved into his lap. Sam was still doing a good job of keeping an eye on him at least.
Boromir too, I noticed.
Frodo said quietly, "You can't help me, Sam... Not this time... Get some sleep."
Sam didn't seem to know what to do. Neither did I. Frodo seemed so ...distant. It was like he was pulling himself away from the rest of the Fellowship. Was the ring taking his mind?
Was the ring taking Boromir's mind?
I didn't know. I breathed out slowly, trying to eat, watching as Sam did what he was told. He curled up, plate beside him, and tried to sleep.
"I caught another!" Pippin's soft cry from the bank came. Sam sat up, suddenly, as Pippin rushed up with another wriggling fish in his hands. It was a pretty big fish, as long as Pippin's arm, and he was struggling with it, nearly slipping over the wet pebbles.
"I'll just cook one more." Sam decided, glancing at Frodo, who didn't seem to notice. "Just in case we're hungry on the river tomorrow."
The hobbits had fun with the last fish and it wasn't long before they were all curled up, all four of them with plates in front of them, like they couldn't quite decide between eating or sleeping. I sat there, quiet, staring ahead at the river, trying to muster up the will to eat something too.
Boromir stood up, suddenly, face shadowed by that now too familiar darkness. He headed for Aragorn, as the hobbits got to work killing the poor fish with a knife, and I twisted around, watching them. It looked like Boromir was about ready to go into battle right now. With Aragorn. I stood up, muttering about bathrooms, and headed for the rock. Legolas was gone somewhere, I noticed, probably scouting.
"Minas Tirith is the safer road. You know it. From there we can regroup…strike out for Mordor from a place of strength." Boromir glanced at me, meeting my eyes, and he frowned, shoulders squaring.
"There is no strength in Gondor that can avail us." Aragorn said softly.
"You were quick enough to trust the Elves." There it was, that stare at me, that anger, and... desperation? He didn't just seem angry. He seemed hurt. He went quiet a moment, hands clenching, before he turned back to Aragorn, voice raising. "Have you so little faith in your own people? Yes, there is weakness. There is frailty. But there is courage also, and honour to be found in Men. But you will not see that." Boromir's anger was rising, however much he tried to hide it, and I saw something in his face snap as Aragorn turned away. Boromir grabbed his arm. "You are afraid! All your life, you have hidden in the shadows!"
I wasn't the only one who'd noticed. Frodo was watching them too, the two of us, his eyes wide in the reflection of the tiny fire.
''You're scared of who you are, of what you are." Boromir snapped. "They take advantage of you."
That last sentence did not feel right. I wondered if it was directed at me or Aragorn. Or both of us? Quickly, before Boromir could turn to me, I headed for the forest, deciding it was a better idea to avoid this argument. As I hurried off, I heard Aragorn's retort, relieved somehow. Gondor was starting to feel like a prison.
"I will not lead the Ring within a hundred leagues of your city."
The quiet of the forest was almost a relief. I stood there, staring out, breathing out as I saw Boromir's face. He had been so hurt. It haunted me big time. I grasped for my phone, tugging it out, breathing out slowly.
"You should not be alone."
Boromir's voice made jump. I stared at him, as he walked slowly close to me, and shoved my phone back in my pocket. He was upset and … I cared about him. I really did.
"I know, you know." I said quietly. "That men are good."
"Do you?"
I nodded, wishing I knew what to say, what to do to make him feel better. Boromir stood beside me, breathing in and out slowly, staring into the river.
"You are the lover of the Elf?"
I nodded. May as well admit it.
"Why not me?" Boromir's question was incredible, it was like a slam back to reality, and he turned on me. The hurt, the anger, the betrayal, it was back again. "Why not your own kind?"
"You?" I blinked at him, speechless, as he stepped towards me. "Because I like him."
Like was the wrong word, the absolute wrong word, and pain flashed across Boromir's face. He stepped closer, towering over me, and I felt extremely uncomfortable all of a sudden at the darkness crowding his face, the jealousy burning. "And not me?"
"I like you to-"
Boromir's lips crashed against mine, shoving me against a tree, his hands grabbing my wrists and shoving them above my head. But he wasn't rough, exactly, not until I tried to shove him back, not until he saw my eyes were still open, and felt my mouth refuse to return his attempts at a kiss. "You sleep with him. With Aragorn too, I suspect."
What! "What! No!"
"Who else, Wenduin? The Dwarf? The hobbits? Am I not good enough?" Boromir didn't seem to hear me, he was staring down at me, breathing hard, so much hurt in his face. "Is my brother not good enough?"
"Boromir, I'm not doing that with anyone except-" I may have as well had slapped him with 'except' so I hurriedly skipped finishing that sentence, "Boromir, I'm not marrying your brother!" I snapped. It was probably the wrong thing, I realized, because his fist slammed into tree inches from my head, his body literally shaking, all the years of pain at seeing his brother rejected piling into his head, his heart, I could see it, this shadow, this stuff he'd tried to ignore. Staring at me. Focused at me. I tried, "Boromir, calm down!"
"Why do you reject us?" Boromir behaved as if he hadn't heard me, shoving me back against the tree, shaking. "Why do you give your affection to all others?"
"You're my frie-" I gave up and opened my mouth to shout, deciding this was probably the good time to yell for Legolas, but Boromir shoved me face forward into the tree, his hand clasping over my mouth, dragging me back against him.
"Do not yell- do not bring the Orcs on us." He breathed against the back of my neck. I stared up at him, dazed, confused, it didn't make sense.
That scared me. What if they were nearby? What if it did?
I shoved him back, kicking with my heel, squirming and struggling under him, and was turned over onto my back. I stared up at the man, seeking something in him that was him, but it was beyond frightening to see the expression in his face. It was like I wasn't even there anymore, as if he couldn't even see me, like the man was possessed. I wasn't Wenduin now, I was something else, something that symbolised all his pain, the rejection, everything. Something that made the raw broken parts of him come to the surface, aided by that fucking ring.
With every muscle in my body I fought it.
"I offered..." He was saying to himself, shaking, as he reached for his dagger, "You rejected him. I only need... comfort. I only ask for that which is freely given to others. You are... never to be with any other. Only us." He whispered, but the broken nature of his voice was as loud as a scream to me, his arms coming to wrap around my body, embracing me, hugging me, lips kissing my neck. My heart broke at the sound in his voice, the heartbroken tone, as if he was about to cry himself. "Love us. Stay with us. We need you. He'll never love you like we'll love you."
Oh god. I tried to roll away, but he was kneeling between my legs, trying to bring the knife down,and I twisted sideways as I felt the cold of the blade cut through part of the leggings. My fist crashed into his throat, aiming for the jaw, but it was incredibly effective. Boromir let go of the knife, grasping for his throat, his other hand trying to grab for my wrist. I twisted in the leaves, sliding backwards and sideways all at once, my knee striking his groin with some force in my haste to get away.
Boromir doubled over at that, a groan of pain and gasp for air pausing him, and with that opportunity I was up, breathing hard, shaking from head to toe, wanting to cry myself. I started to stumble backwards, as he lay there on his side curled up, before I stumbled forward a step to snach up the knife and hold it up.
"Stay... stay ... there." I tried, stuttering, my hands shaking even as I tried to grip the blade hard. Everything seemed odd, fuzzy, but that ... that could have been the shock. I'd never been... never...
He didn't answer. He was shaking as well, shaking from head to toe, his breath ragged.
"Boromir?"
Aragorn's call cut in from somewhere distant. Boromir only now looked up. Our eyes locked... and his face drained of blood. "Wen...Wenduin..." He fell a few feet down the hill, rolling a little as he struggled to stand and stumble back from me at the same time, the expression making it seem as if he'd only just seen me for the first time.
Who did he think it was? I wanted to ask. I couldn't. I was afraid I'd cry if I talked. I shut my eyes, bare legs exposed to the air, no energy to close them as he leaned against a tree, and then he was coughing, and when I opened my eyes I saw him bent over, retching into the bushes. The world spun around us both.
Boromir tried to pull me up and I flinched. "I... will turn myself in. When we return to Gondor."
Huh? I opened my eyes slowly, staring up, and found myself face to face with his horror-stricken expression as he stared at me. The trance was gone, the darkness, there was just Boromir, his eyes averted from my legs, his face drained of blood.
"I tell my soldiers... to never do this. Never. Our laws... our honour. We never do this. And here I... Wenduin, I am so sorry." He reached out again, then withdrew his hand, shaking. "I will not ...I will tell Aragorn if you intend. I will ...leave. I have betrayed you in the worst way. I could have... and... I do not … if you love the Elf... I ..." He was stuttering, shaking, his face white. "I am no friend to you... no friend does such a thing."
"No." My voice croaked, and he blinked at me, sitting back on his knees. The fellowship was breaking. I couldn't do that. It would be so wrong. "No... we have to stay together. To protect Frodo. Right? Protect Frodo. Destroy the ring. Duty." And vomit. I wanted to vomit now. I felt so sick, so dizzy, I felt like I wasn't really here... like I was somewhere else. "You didn't do it."
"Destroy... the ring. Duty." He said the words slowly, as if he couldn't understand them straight off, his eyes fogged and his body leaning against a tree. My words made something in Boromir's face crack, guilt, and he shook harder, tears starting to run down his face once again. He sat there a long time staring at me. "Tell me. Tell me what I can... It is as a dream now. I felt … as if it was not me. Tell me what I can do."
"I don't know." I tried to not cry, tried to will my body to calm down, heart still pounding. It wasn't him. I knew that, of course I fucking knew that, and I wanted to throw that fucking ring into the fire myself now. Boromir's mind was starting to crack. "Let's just... pretend it didn't happen, okay? Nothing happened anyway. And we've got a job to do."
"I am... sorry. I do not know what came over me. Please..." He reached down to touch me and I flinched. "I will accept whatever punishment deemed appropriate. I will remove myself from Captain, and allow the law of Gondor to judge me."
I breathed in again, hysterical, trying to calm myself. Slowly I straightened, lowering the dagger, and tried to make myself look normal. Hard to do with a torn tunic. I moved after him, gathering up twigs, and tried to joke about how Boromir had gotten all the good wood. He didn't smile, he just knelt there, dropping wood onto the bank.
I didn't look at Boromir that night. I couldn't. I forgot how I got back to camp, or what I did, but I knew I stayed in one position pretty much the whole night, rough ground or not. When Aragorn woke me I felt just as sick as last night and I only ate through sheer willpower. I sat there, numb, barely responding to him, only really paying attention to the world long enough to confirm that it was still night, though there was some lightness in what I had to guess was the east.
"What is it?" Aragorn stared at me. I felt like he knew, I felt like it was obvious, but … I doubted he'd let it slide if he knew.
"Legolas scouting?" I smiled weakly. "Just a sore stomach."
"He is looking ahead. We are not far."
Legolas was still away. I wished he'd come back. It had been far too close.
"Wendy and I had an argument but we came to an agreement." Boromir said softly. He placed his hand on my knee and I shut my eyes, resisting the urge to draw away. "A debt owed when we succeed. I lost my temper."
I nodded, smiling weakly, adding, "I'm really just thinking about the road ahead now. We can figure that out later."
Truth was, I wanted to tell someone, anyone. But I knew it would be bad. The Fellowship was already breaking, wasn't that what Galdrial said? I knew that kind of thing would be a good way to do it... and I'd seen Boromir's face when he'd pleaded. I knew he was a good man... but this side of him, this desperate side, this side that would force someone just so he could get his way... it scared me. I didn't know what to do, how to react, and so I decided to not do anything.
But what if he tried to harm someone? Would he harm Frodo? It wasn't just me this dark side had started to appear, although he'd hidden it better from Frodo, this side of him that was being torn apart by guilt and worry. I breathed out slowly. I couldn't stay near him for too long. I didn't know if I could trust him. But maybe I could ask Pippin or Merry to keep an eye on Frodo, make sure he didn't wander off, and they might not think it was a weird request. After all, Frodo was increasingly quiet, increasingly prone to vanish for a while.
Legolas returned later that night, speaking softly to Aragorn, Boromir and Gimli of Orc. Aragorn sighed, stood up, and went to shake Sam and Merry awake. Legolas avoided staring at me but I was sure his attention was glued onto me. It was strange.
"Wake, Merry, Sam. We must move."
"What is it?" Sam said sleepily, sitting up, staring around.
"Orc tracking closer than we thought. We will go through the night."
Again. I stood up slowly, helping as we packed, pain shooting up between my hips with every movement. The men took turns, at the edge of the river, relieving themselves behind a bush, and I ducked behind one for a moment myself.
I slid into the boat behind Legolas and leaned back, quietly, watching as Aragorn and Boromir moved into the water ahead of us.
"Don't let Boromir near me alone." I said quietly and heard him inhale slowly.
"Has he hurt you?" Legolas tensed as he glanced back at me, staring at something on my shoulder, "You have scratches on your back."
I had them on my bum too, I wanted to say, and who said sex outside was fun? But I couldn't say it. We had something to do. "No. I just ..." It was the truth though it felt like I was making excuses for him. Legolas didn't answer. I tried a different topic instead. "How far do we go downriver?"
Gimli crawled into the boat between us, the boat sinking down, and we pushed into the water.
"A'maelamin ..." Legolas said quietly, staring back at me, paddling slowly. His eyes bored into me and I felt uncomfortable, tired, sick... I didn't want to be stared at. "By morning, we will be at the end of the river. You and Gimli should take this chance to rest. I will paddle."
"Good. I'm tired of water." Gimli announced, glancing back, apparently unaware of the tenseness. He reached into the water, starting to damp his beard, and ran soap through it.
Legolas nodded quietly, turning, but his hand came behind to brush across my leg briefly. I flinched and he tensed more.
We didn't speak for a long time. I knew Boromir was watching me, I kept feeling his gaze on me, but I didn't doubt how bad he felt. And I was late. Was I usually late? I didn't know. I did vaguely remember that women who were heavier had irregular periods, and that stress could also slow it down, so I seriously doubted I was pregnant. And now that I thought about it, even though Legolas had a 'release', nothing had come out. Elves could control that? Neat trick.
But what about Boromir?
We drifted through deep cliffs, slowly, thin winding cliffs that crowded over us, hiding most of the night sky. I couldn't stop it this time, I was exhausted, emotional, hurt, and sleep came so easily, whisking me away from the reality of what had just happened.
A hand shook me, and I blinked sleepily, Legolas pointing up.
Giant men. The Kings of Old.
I knew them. I stared up, amazed, as we all did, at these giant Kings that towered over us. They were ancient, so old, and I wondered how old they'd be... hundreds? Thousands? Aragorn gazed up in them at open awe, Boromir glancing up as well.
"They were made by Kings long dead." Legolas explained softly. "Aragorn's kin. We are close."
Aragorn came closer, calling across the water, "We will rest on the west bank for a short while, recover our strength."
This seemed to give Legolas some energy, he paddled a bit faster, and I felt it. We had to be close.
"Not far?" I asked, guessing the answer.
"No." Legolas pointed ahead. Ahead of us was a great wide river, surrounded by forest, and a mist rising. A waterfall? I had no idea what else it'd be. "There- we stop. Aragorn will show us."
I nodded, gazing behind me again, the heads of the Kings over the cliffs.
"Gimli." Legolas handed the paddle forward. The second he'd taken it, Legolas had done his 'twist around in the boat effortlessness without turning the boat over again' thing, shifted close to me, and grasped my hands, holding them hard.
"What?" I asked weakly, as his eyes bore into mine, one of his hands reaching up to stroke across my neck.
"Mela en' coiamin, are you injured?"
I breathed in, eyes involuntarily going towards Boromir, which Legolas naturally caught. He frowned deeper and I tried, "Boromir lost his temper. He hit me in the stomach. But he's … an honourable man. There are laws in Gondor against that." I didn't lie. I could only tell him this much. Later, when Frodo wasn't a priority, I'd tell him more. "He has sworn to uphold his law when the Fellowship ends. I'm just a bit sore. I'm not angry. I know it wasn't him doing it. It was the..." It was the ring. I was hurt in more ways than one though. I frowned, uncomfortable, feeling the ache in my stomach increase.
Legolas nodded, quiet, glancing at Boromir, who was too far ahead to know about us. "If Boromir forgets, and Aragorn does not remember, I will."
I kind of felt like Boromir hadn't lied, somehow, the look in his face after... but I nodded.
"Don't tell-"
"Boromir has already informed him."
My heart sank at that. Had he? Did Legolas know? I felt so ashamed, suddenly, Legolas hand tightening on mine. "Of?"
"Striking you and attempting to force you." There was a flash of something, but not anger, more like pity. Pity for a humans weakness? Or for me? Legolas glanced over his shoulder at Gimli, who hadn't heard him, his voice too soft. "Stay close to the hobbits now."
That hurt somehow. Stay close to the hobbits, helpless woman, in case another nasty man tries to force you. I flinched and tried to tell myself to calm down. He was right. I could fire arrows but fight off a fully grown man? Or what if I was alone and orcs came? No one should wander off alone. I tried to smile. "I'll be fine."
"From this place onwards, we do not walk alone." Legolas spoke louder.
This time Gimli did hear and he glanced back, calling, "Fine."
"You too?"
"Yes." Legolas smiled weakly, tugging my tunic up, his fingers grazing over the fist shaped bruise on my stomach. "The power of the ring strengthens. We must now work together. It tests us all."
That was an understatement of the age.
Some distance from the waterfall we came to a stop on a pebble covered beach. The mood seemed tense, Boromir sat there in the boat for some time, staring at his knees. It wasn't just me he was avoiding looking at. Frodo too.
I felt uneasy, afraid, and tried to remember Frodo. I'd been hurt. What if he hurt Frodo? I swallowed, trying to be helpful, gather twigs, whatever I could do.
"We cross the lake at nightfall. Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north." Aragorn's eyes went up. It was still midday I guessed from the position of the sun. A quick glance at my phone confirmed it. One in the afternoon to be exact.
"Oh, yes?! It's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks! And after that, it gets even better!"
Pippin stared up, alarmed beside me. Slowly I sat down beside Sam against some ancient ruins, cringing slightly as sore body met hard rock. Ow. He glanced sideways at me, smiling weakly, sharpening his sword.
"My behind aches too." He said quietly. "Those boats..."
"Festering, sticking marshlands as far as the eye can see!" Gimli was full of sunshine today, clearly.
Sam frowned, glancing back down to his sword, adding softly, "Still, I suspect we'll likely miss the boats soon."
"I think so." I agreed.
"That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf." Aragorn didn't leave room for debate. Clearly his mind was made up.
Legolas was staring around, eyes and ears distant, somewhere else. This, and the growing deja vu, was starting to make me nervous. I reached for the sword that had hung ignored on my hip for the last three days, touching it, not reassured. I pulled it out, trying to sharpen it, copying Sam.
"Here, like this..." Sam showed me. "Like a kitchen knife." He yawned, resting sideways, sliding his sword back in and shut his eyes. "Who knew a boat was so tiring..."
"Recover my…?! Phrrrrr..." Gimli growled softly. I made a mental note- questioning a dwarf's energy was insulting. Right.
Legolas moved for Aragorn, uneasy, his face tense. "We should leave now."
"No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for cover of darkness." Aragorn shook his head.
"It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near...I can feel it!" Legolas muttered darkly, staring back into the forest, and his gaze made me shiver. I trusted his instincts big time right now. I felt it too.
Merry wandered down, dunking wood, the sound waking Sam back up.
"No dwarf need recover strength! Pay no heed to that, young Hobbit." Gimli informed Pippin, clearly still insulted, never-mind the fact that he was leaning more heavily on his axe right now than he usually did.
Legolas and Aragorn spoke softly, focused on their conversation, while Merry reached for his pipe.
"Thought you were out, Merry?" Pippin stared up at him.
Merry blinked, sheepish, and stared at the pipe in his hand. "I am. Forgot. Habit." He glanced around, looking guilty, and I swore I saw him shove something in his pocket. "Where's Frodo?"
Sam snapped awake at that. We stared around.
"Boromir..." I said quietly, half to myself, seeing the shield lying abandoned nearby. I hadn't even noticed him pass by me. Frodo? Boromir?
Oh shit. I stood up, cringing, dread creeping into my stomach. Boromir. Fuck. I had to find him. This was very bad. I knew it.
"We must separate..." Aragorn muttered, tense, sword already out.
Legolas nodded. "Agreed."
"Merry, Pippin, Sam, stay with Wenduin here..." Aragorn's order was pretty clearly a 'no discussions with this' situation, because he was already turning and running into the forest, Legolas and Gimli gone.
"Stay here?" Pippin blinked at me, then at Merry. "Was that an order?"
"Think it sounded more like a request." Merry decided, meeting my eyes, his hand going for his sword. "Didn't do all that sword training to cook Aragorn's dinner, did we?"
"Let's go."
I stared at the boats for a moment. Shit. Shit. We couldn't abandon Frodo. "Let's find him, drag him into a boat, and ...wait for the others in the river. Let Aragorn deal with Boromir. Screw waiting for night."
"Agreed." Sam's sword was out too, his face dark, attention on Boromir's shield. "I don't like it."
Every instinct was saying 'DON'T GO INTO THE FOREST'. So what did we do? Run into the forest.
I wasn't really sure where we were going, neither was Pippin or Merry, and Sam vanished within seconds.
"Sam?"
"Leave him, we won't get lost." Merry called, heading up the hill, feet slipping a little on the soft pine needles. "The camp's downhill. Easy."
"Easy." Pippin agreed.
Easy, apparently, but in reality... the forest started to look the same. I had a bad feeling, I tried to stick close to them, glancing back.
"Maybe... they'll come back to camp?"
"Frodo could be anywhere!" Merry shook his head,staring around, blinking. I'd heard it too. Boromir shouting out Frodo's name. "Boromir!"
I headed for that direction, legs shaking, determined, and the two hobbits followed. Boromir's voice, softer, calling... and it echoed. Then it vanished. I stopped, confused, staring around. Forest, more forest, slope, but where was the river?
"I think we're lost." Pippin muttered.
"Me too." I admitted.
"Should we go downhill to the river?" Merry asked, uncertain.
I nodded and we started down again. Sam's shout, we heard it, but it also echoed.
There was another echo. Growls. Growls that were NOT Fellowship.
"Oh, shit...' I whispered. I remembered this part. Oh shit.
"Orcs!" Merry ducked, suddenly, dragging me behind him. "Hide!" A tiny tiny tree, upturned, that would barely fit us... but Merry dragged us into it. I was squashed in the back behind them, pressed up against the rotting roots of the tree and their backs, as a handful of Orcs rushed past, barely missing us. I inhaled, fear rushing through me, staring wide eyed. I knew what they were. I knew what would happen.
And I was with Pippin and Merry.
Oh, shit. And Boromir...
Oh, shit. I swallowed, grief already stabbing through me, and instead of seeing what he'd done... I saw the other side of him. The true side. The warm, protective man, the loving brother, who only wanted to defend the people he loved, and a heart so big that it held his entire city in it.
I saw him dead. And, although I should haven't felt like this after he'd raped me. I felt devastated by the vision. He hadn't deserved this. He hadn't deserved the fucked up ring's power on him, he hadn't even wanted to come here, and he'd done his best. His best hadn't been good enough.
"Boromir..."
"Sh..." Pippin grasped my hand in his. "Courage, Wenduin..."
I nodded, weakly, shutting my eyes a moment, a wave of dizziness sweeping over me. I was so afraid of these things that I wanted to faint, to vomit, these girly emotions a serious first. But they weren't orc. They were something much worse and I knew that.
"Frodo!" Merry hissed.
I opened my eyes to see Frodo, as white as we were, but safe. For now.
"Hide here! Quick! Come on!" Pippin called, softly, trying to beckon. I knew he wouldn't. "What's he doing?"
Frodo shook his head at his, his face anguished, as if some part of him wished he could. I knew. He had to go. It was his time to leave. I swallowed, shutting my eyes, as Merry said what I already knew.
"He's leaving'."
"No!" Pippin darted out for him.
"Pippin!"
Merry chased after him, and me, trying to grab him and hide. This was not a good idea. But it was worth a shot.
Course, we were seen, and when I heard their roar, I nearly pissed my pants. Merry grabbed my arm, and Pippin, we stared at them like startled rabbits. How many? Six? Ten? Fifteen? I would struggle with one of them.
"Run, Frodo! Go!" Merry whispered. The brave stupid hobbit. He knew. He knew we had no hope with all these fucking Ur... things. His hands squeezed my arm and Pippin's arm, before he called, "Hey! Hey you! Over here!"
"Hey!"
"Hey!" I heard myself calling, Frodo's face in my head, knowing. This was probably the best thing I could do for Frodo right now, the best thing I'd probably done for him the whole Fellowship, and I'd fucking well stab as many Urk things as I could. Frodo had to get into that boat. I wasn't going to screw it up for him.
"Over here!"
"This way!" Pippin waved his arms, though he didn't have to, because they saw us.
We ran.
"It's working!" Pippin called, as we stumbled down the slope for the river, away from the direction of Frodo and the camp. Funny. NOW that I couldn't head back for safety, I remembered how to get back to it.
"I know its working! Run!"
I ran behind them, stumbling over trunks, over leaves, and we turned, moving along the slope instead of down it, heading for where they'd seen a bridge further down. We were doomed. I felt it. So did they, but they were so brave, and I swallowed down my own fear, stumbling and nearly tripping as we reached the bridge.
Pippin skidded to a halt in front of me. I nearly fell over him, staring up the slope, finding myself staring at another lot of Urk-things. Twenty? I couldn't count them, I grasped my sword, trying to yank out my bow, so afraid that I could barely think. They were going to kill me and capture the hobbits.
They were going to kill Boromir.
They charged at us, the lead with his axe raised to smash down on Pippin's head, as if he'd forgotten and...
Boromir charged past us, grasping the sword, using his sheer strength to throw it and the Urk-thing off the edge of the bridge. No time to speak, I found my arm thrusting the sword into the stomach of a Urkai through their leather, into the softness, hot black fluid splattering everywhere. The bridge was a trap- we were surrounded on both sides, and I tried hard, breathing hard, eyes wide with fear as I tried to focus, tried to slash, defend, heart hammering in my throat.
"Forgive me..."
Boromir, I heard him between clashes, his back brushing me. Only I knew he hadn't just come for me. I knew it, because I could see it, see Boromir dashing up to protect Pippin and Merry in a world where I didn't exist.
"It wasn't you." I hissed, through gritted teeth, and I believed it now more than ever. Oh, I still hurt, I was still angry. But … Boromir had been wounded too. He'd never have done that of his own choice. I felt it, I knew it, and I was FURIOUS at anything that'd hurt us both like that.. "I still..." I cut, knocked back almost, Pippin dragging at me just in time before I fell off the bridge. "Am your friend. It was that fucking thing. I'll throw it into the fucking-" Another slam, I tried to kill one more, only for it to nearly cut my arm off. Merry's jab from under my arm got it between the legs, knocking it down. "-lava myself for what it did!"
"Me too!" Pippin informed us all. He had no clue what we were on about, I hoped, but he seemed to be angry.
"And I will never ..." I slammed my blade into a Uruk Hai... "Marry your brother, however wonderful I know he is, so-" I was thrown back into Boromir's back, his hand steadying me, while his blade went for another one. "-let it go because I don't want to kick your as-" Something hard slammed into my head, knocking me over, dazing me. I heard a shout, or maybe I imagined it, tasting blood, more blood seeping out of my nose. I saw it again. Boromir, dead, dying.
"We must retreat to the boats!" His call cut through my haze, a hand tugging me to my feet, Boromir dragging us back. How many dead? I stared, mind spinning, but not just from the sheer volume of dead Uruk Hai Boromir had somehow killed during my four, but because things were flooding my head.
"No lady of Gondor would speak so foul!" Boromir panted. But he didn't seem upset. If anything he was amused, as we skidded down the hill. "But a friend of Boromir would. I am always your friend, Wenduin..."
Pippin laughed, a weak laugh, as we ran, only to slam into more of the stupid Uruk-Hai things, almost head butting them. Boromir flung his sword at one charging, piercing it right in the head, charging forward.
He shoved at us, shoved us down, ordering, "Stay near the hobbits, stay down!"
I went to stand, but my head swam, the sheer motion, and I tried to move. Boromir. He couldn't die. I was here. I could help. I could stop it. And if the fucker had gotten me pregnant, then he had to stay alive, this place was strange enough without a friend.
"Wenduin..." Merry pressed something against my nose, whispering, and I stared out. Boromir was fighting to protect the three of us.
Boromir was amazing. Incredible. A warrior. No wonder why I hadn't been able to fight him off. Even these things struggled, and there were two, three of them, trying to kill him. The wave of them were slaughtered so quickly that I could hardly believe it, black blood hitting the dirt of the forest floor, the leaves, the twigs, leaving dark shadows where the sunlight hit.
We knelt there, shoulder to shoulder, and when the last had collapsed, their innards decorating their bodies, Boromir gestured to us.
"Come, quickly. Run! We draw them away from Frodo." He hissed softly, tugging me to my feet, his hand squeezing mine. With a trace of humour, clearly teasing me, Boromir added, "And do not talk more, woman." He had lost that shadow, lost that darkness, there was only the Boromir I knew and liked. He raised the horn, blowing hard, as we ran. The man would die before he let Frodo fail. However much he failed with his struggle against the ring, against his own jealousy and desperation, he did not fail at a moment like this.
And it worked. Uruk Hai turned, ran for us, and while I couldn't see them, I could hear it. I could feel it. I could picture it. We ran, ran for the forest away from Frodo and the boats, scrambling down the slope, feet sinking in mud … or maybe it was blood, I didn't want to look down to find out... and the ground literally shook as every Uruk Hai followed Boromir.
So naturally he continued to blow the horn, between strikes, sweat pouring down his face, but with not a single scratch on him.
I ducked behind Pippin, slashing my blade, grip on the handle slippery with my own sweat and the blood from ...well, I didn't know, it was probably both mine and theirs, because the cut on my head was bleeding pretty good now. The beauty of the forest and the ruins was dotted with the abomination that was every Uruk Hai. Where was Aragorn? Legolas? Gimli? Was Sam safe? I couldn't think, these thoughts danced in and out, just shoved aside by the cruel pain that every blow of their crude blades caused in my shoulders, my back.
Pippin and Merry flung themselves at an Uruk Hai, like two angry bees, jabbing him anywhere they could get between the armour. I swung the sword, nearly getting it caught in the blade of another Uruk Hal's sword, their strange L shape clearly designed to snap my blade. If it wasn't Elvish I might have lost it.
"Run!" Boromir shouted. He stared, and I stared in the direction, wishing I hadn't. Ten? Twenty? No, it had to be more. Thirty? Forty? How many had Boromir already killed? How many were left? Far too many... Grouping. Thinking. Swarming us. He shouted, shoving at me, "Run! Get out!"
Now we were overrun. I turned, running, expecting Boromir to do the same., running some ten metres before Pippin and Merry froze and I turned to see Boromir standing there, sword, again fighting impossible numbers, fighting for our life. Not his. He wasn't fighting for himself- if he had been, he would have run with us.
"Run!"
Pippin and Merry picked up stones, throwing, and I grabbed for the bow, nearly dropping it in my haste and panic. Boromir was going to die. Arrows in him. I had seen it. I knew it. But it wasn't fair. He shouldn't have come. Screw what he'd done- I'd rather him live and spend the rest of his life making it up to me, rather than die for some selfish bastard of a father who'd pressured him to bring a stupid evil ring.
I fired, arrow after arrow, dropping more than one as my sweaty fingers couldn't keep grasp, my trembling hands failing me, legs threatening to buckle, and my head aching so much that my vision kept blurring, like I was seconds from fainting. Boromir fought, no longer with his attention on us, like he was a man possessed, and all I could do was fire arrows at legs, trying to disable them, trying to make his job easier.
It was one that caught my attention. While the rest ran for us, he strode, confidant, head bare of any helmet, with the aura of someone in charge. I didn't know if these things had 'in charge people' but …
He had a bow.
Arrows.
He was going to kill Boromir.
I aimed for him, hands shaking, and the arrow didn't even get close, I was too afraid, too dizzy, I couldn't fire properly, I couldn't even breathe properly. It smacked into a tree and he didn't even notice it, I'd missed by so much, he raised his bow...
There was no time for another arrow. I wasn't a magic speedy Elf.
"Wenduin!" Pippin's shout behind me, startled.
I was running. Running at Boromir, as the arrow was drawn back, I didn't see the Uruk Hai Boromir was killing, I only saw the stupid arrow. I ducked under his sword, jabbing him hard in the stomach with the blunt end of my own sword, pushing him back.
And something slammed into me. Something that shocked me, with the speed, the fury, and the strength of it. I stared at it. Something black was poking out of the light brown tunic, through the leather that held my boobs down, something that dripped red across a sharp black end.
Only when I really saw what it was and where it was did I feel pain. The arrow. Black tip pointing out of my shoulder. I was shorter than Boromir and it hadn't struck my heart, as it would have him.
He stared at me, mouth open, that same horrified look he'd had when he'd... and devastation. But when I met his eyes, I knew it, he was meant to die. Something slammed into my head, shoving me down, my head striking a log on the ground.
Boromir was meant to die. I remembered it.
"More than this, I know it in my heart. Boromir was my brother." Faramir's voice echoed through my head. Faramir. Frodo. The ring. And Faramir would not be tempted.
I saw Boromir's father, sitting there in the throne of the Steward, Boromir's horn in two.
His father, mad with grief, trying to burn Faramir.
His father seeing Faramir for the first time.
Time had slowed. I fell to my knees, shaking, Boromir's anguished cry echoing in my ears. I watched him, almost as if in slow motion, mouth opening and shutting. "You... you were meant to die."
I had screwed it up. Boromir's death. Faramir. His father. Boromir was meant to have died here and now. It was meant to happen to trigger something else. I had changed it. I had changed something crucial.
Oh god.
"Woman, talking. And-" Boromir swung hard, twisting. "-I will not."
I couldn't do it. I couldn't watch him die. I couldn't handle it. But I couldn't kill him. And now that he'd seen the Urak Hai, now that...
An arrow slammed into Boromir's arm, as he twisted around to stare at me, an arrow that should have met his . I could see it in my head- that version, Boromir's death, as if it was playing out also. Only I had changed things and …
He roared with pain and fury, I tried to sit up. The arrow had only grazed him, cutting flesh and muscle as it did, but it didn't destroy him. He swung the sword around, managing to keep the big black Orc things back despite his injury.
The thing was coming closer, the growl, the 'leader'. I was shaking, feeling so cold, the pain radiating throughout my body, my teeth chattering. In shock. I could see it all now, every moment, every second the Fellowship would take. And I was about to die. Had I ruined it? Should Boromir be dying?
"No, no... you were ... meant to die. For Faramir. For your father. Your death was supposed to ..." A sword came down for me, only for the leader to shout something, and I managed to make it go sideways by my her sword go under it. The pain this motion caused, and my head, I couldn't keep my grip on the sword, and I lost it as they slammed their axe into the ground instead. "Horn, in pieces, Faramir's test... the one you failed. Grief makes him... succeed..."
"Grief..." Boromir froze, staring at me, and to my horror, that moment was enough for a third arrow to finally find what the leader wanted it to find. Boromir's body. I didn't know why I was saying it. It felt like I wasn't totally here. Like I was dying. The words were slipping out.
I shut my eyes, trembling, so afraid suddenly. Boromir's face, haunted, taunt with pain, regret, echoed in my head.. The arrow in his body. Would he die after all? Would his death be my fault? How come I spoke?
He didn't deserve any of this. I hated his father. I blamed his father. Not Boromir. I blamed the ring. He shouldn't have to die. But ...he was going too. I was sure of it.
I heard screams, distant, and felt the ground leave. Felt armour under my stomach. A hand grasping my leg, the arrow jolted, but I wanted to sleep. My eyes opened, a moment, fluttered open, Boromir in my head.
He was kneeling, he was panting, black objects jutting out of his body, and then I couldn't see anymore.
The last time I opened them, Boromir was no where to be seen, and we were surrounded by Uruk Hai.
I was not okay.
I knew it. I knew that whatever that arrow was doing, it was very bad, and I was not okay. But I was alive. Only barely though.
I woke, tried to fight the urge to sleep, my body begging me to sleep, to fade away. I was tied up, I knew that much, arms around the neck of one of the foul smelling Uruk Hai, their arms holding my legs up.
The arrow was removed while we ran, I woke for that, this horrible pain as they snapped the end off, yanked the entire thing out, I screamed for that. It gave them pleasure to hear it.
And far too often, fluid was forced down my throat, this black sticky stuff that clung to my throat as if it was alive, and they'd make sure I was awake for that. I would wake to a slap, my head forced back, shit poured down my throat.
I knew that I was peeing myself, shitting myself, but I didn't have the energy to be disgusted. The creature carrying me didn't seem to know or care. They smelt pretty rank anyway.
What I did know was that they wanted me alive. That they treated the wound, while on the run, and that I wasn't the only one alive. Pippin and Merry. I saw them from time to time, at my side, I heard Pippin sometimes calling to me or Merry.
The pain kept waking me up, that and the 'medicine', and I saw the light fade. The stars come out. I stared up desperately, or tried to, but I could barely move my body. My eyes kept fluttering, trying to close, and time would pass. Sometimes it felt like hours, days, months, but sometimes it felt like time moved too fast between the medicine, that horrible sticky shit.
As their shit slowly worked, I started to wake for longer periods, and started to really get what deep fucking shit I was in. What we were all in. They thought Merry and Pippin had the ring. And me? I remembered everything about this. I knew where Frodo would go. I knew what would happen. I knew how we'd beat the giant flaming eye. Rohan, Gandalf was still alive, I remembered everything. About me? Nothing new.
But this?
If he tortured me, how much would I be able to hold it back?
Did Saruman know how much I knew?
And...
It wasn't just fear of torture. The hands that touched me, that really touched me, grasping, groping, laughter, cruel sadistic laugher as fingers forced my mouth open for the medicine, at my pain, at my suffering. I was surrounded by them. Creatures. Evil fucking creatures that raped women. After the fright before ... that had meaning for me in a new terrible way.
Would Saruman offer me to them when he was done? Would he give me to them to get information? Would they be my torture? For the first time, I felt real fear, fear of being helpless, being a woman, vulnerable. Boromir felt regret. But these creatures? I doubted they'd even hesitate. I would die if they were allowed. But not before Saruman got what he wanted out of me. They would torment and torture me for days, weeks, I didn't know how long.
I drifted in and out of conciousness, plauged by nightmares of this, of Boromir raping me again, only it wasn't him. It was them. Sometimes I felt like it was real. I'd gasp, awake, still on the back of whatever it was carrying me, and find myself still dressed, still untouched.
Alive and unspoiled. He wanted all of us alive and unspoiled. But what when he got us?
I had changed the future. What if the horse riders didn't come in time? What if they missed us? I had delayed this. What if they didn't need rest now? Had they needed to stop to take my arrow out? I couldn't tell the difference between nightmares and reality. Day, or night, they felt the same, I didn't know how long we'd been carried. I was covered in filth.
I opened my eyes, shaking, staring up. Sometime new had woken me.
We'd stopped for real.
Pippin, on my right, was staring in Merry's direction. Merry was flopping, his head coated in blood, as unconscious as I had just been. And there was words being spoken ahead. The Uruk Hai had met up with the Orcs.
"Merry!" Pippin whispered, staring in my direction, his face drained of blood. I saw Merry between his head and the back of his captor, head lolling back, mouth open. "Merry! Wake up!"
Before I could stop him, he'd spotted one of the Uruk Hai drinking the 'medicine', and pleaded, "My friend is sick. He needs some water. Please."
I tried to speak, but I couldn't, my voice cracked.
"Sick, is he? Give him some medicine, boys!"
To my horror, Merry was force-fed the shit as well, nearly choking. This pleased them and I cringed, shutting my eyes, as one of them made eye contact with me. Not again. Please, not again.
"Stop it!" Pippin shouted, shaking, far braver than I felt. They laughed, as he shouted, "Leave him alone!"
"Why? You want some? Then keep your mouth shut." The voice, the new 'leader', made me shiver, and I met Pippin's eyes as he stared at me, then back to Merry.
"Merry..."
"Pippin." Merry's voice was gone too, that shit taking away his voice, and I cringed for him.
"You're hurt."
"I'm fine. Just an act." Merry tried to smile, gazing at both of us, but he couldn't keep his eyes open, his head kept flopping. I knew it wasn't an act. He'd been hurt too.
"An act?"
"See? Fooled you too." Merry's smile faded and he shut his eyes. "Don't worry about me, Pip."
"Wendy?" Pippin caught my eyes, and I tried to smile weakly too.
"What is it?" There was a growl from nearby and the answer sent my heart up into my throat.
"Manflesh."
Pippin's eyes met mine again and I swallowed, hope rising despite myself, trembling. He grasped his pin, the leaf from Lothlorien, and tore it off. No one saw except me. I shut my eyes, head flopping back, and felt the smooth cool metal of Legolas' leaf.
He was right. We had to tell them we were alive.
Forehead against the back of the creature, I tore at it, the silver chain somehow easily coming apart, and I felt it slide away with both relief and horror, the loss of it ... it hurt, it scared me, as if I'd just lost Legolas' presence.
I knew they'd find Pippin's pin.
Would they find that too? Suddenly, it meant a lot to me, and my heart sank as we were carried away from it, the last connection I had to him. I should have done the brooch too.
I was suddenly aware of the ring Galadriel had given me, and clenched my hand, all my attention on that thin ring. When I shut my eyes, I slept again, slipping back into unconsciousness.
We were a day head of them. A full day.
It didn't seem like they'd ever catch up.
Time dragged by. Dark, light. Rain. Medicine. Pippin, trying to talk to me, and while I tried, I could only mumble, I couldn't even smile. My shoulder burnt, I felt cold, and hot, and trembly, I knew I was in shock.
Boromir's face danced in my head. The face he'd had when he'd ... but the face he'd had when I'd saved his life, that was the one I saw most, and the image of him dead. Dead in the boat. Was he dead? Had I killed him? Had I saved him, only to ruin what he'd start with his death? Was he chasing after us?
Legolas. The first time I'd really let him touch me, the amazement he'd had when I had muttered an apology for being 'fat', the intensity as he stared at me without any sense of disgust or loathing. He'd liked my body. Why had I waited till Lothlorien for that? It had felt so right, so good, I'd felt like some greek goddess, not like a fat cow.
Aragorn, his warmth, friendliness, and company. He was strong. I felt good around him, secure, I liked taking his orders.
I knew that right now, there would be Eomer finding the king's son, or being banished, I didn't know. Half the time I didn't have the strenght to lift my head to see if it was night or day. Against the black of their armour it always appeared to be dark, as my hair was loose, shielding light if there was any, hiding the Uruk Hai.
Water was forced into my mouth, stale rank water, moldy bread, and they forced me to eat. If I didn't, I'd choke. My cheeks were bruised and bleeding from them being grasped so often, from the Uruk Hai constantly harrassing me, and I knew it was out of pleasure that they kept doing it so often.
Time stretched out. I vomited, I trembled, and I would have screamed when they tre my leggings off, fear reaching fever pitch, but my fear and Pippin's anger just made them laugh louder.
"Relax, girl." A hand slapped my ass hard. "You're to be taken to him unspoiled."
"Shame."
I shut my eyes, cheeks burning, with only the shirt and tunic to cover me, my bare legs getting cut and bruised on the rough armour. When they dunked me in water, 'washing' me, I wished I could pass out, only somehow I couldn't do it.
"Don't touch her!" Pippin's fury burst out, as they dragged me back up.
"Oh, don't worry." The 'leader' advanced on him, grasping his curls, a vicious smile on his face. "We won't do it until we're ordered. And we will be. With all of you."
All of you? I got it. The hobbits. They were so small, so tiny, they'd be killed... and yet Pippin didn't seem to understand. However much of an adult he was, he didn't know, didn't know that men could even be forced that way. "Not ...them..." I pleaded, voice raw, the pain making tears prick.
"You going to sacrifice yourself for them?"
"Don't hurt them..." The words came out, though I didn't know where the bravery came from, because the look on the leader's face made it clear he liked that idea just as much as he liked the idea of forcing himself on Pippin. And he'd probably do it anyway. I shut my eyes, shame filling me, fear, disgust, as he reached out for a handful of flesh.
"Get moving!" He roared, suddenly, and the speed picked up.
How many days had it been? Two? Three? Ten? I didn't know. Blood seeped down my legs, from where my now bare legs rubbed against the armour, pain that I couldn't go unconcious from. My head was healing. My arrow wound was healing. And I couldn't sleep anymore- the pain in my legs was too bad, I couldn't escape it.
It grew dark once more. The Uruk Hai seemed exhausted, as did the Orcs, and they stopped beside a dark mass. I tried to see it, blinking, taking a few minutes to see it and hear the voices, as I was thrown to the ground on my stomach between Merry and Pippin.
"-till we've had a breather!"
"Get a fire going!"
Fangorn. Were we early? Late? I lay there on my back, blood seeping into the dry grass that scratched my legs, breathing hard, chest screaming in pain with every effort.
"Merry, Wenduin..." Pippin scrambled over, face etched and old with worry, bending over us.
"Think... we might have made a mistake leaving the shire, Pippin." Merry stirred, quiet, staring at me and at Pippin, face still pale and sickly. His hands, to my surprise, reached out slowly, and I felt his fingers trace through my hair. Was he trying to comfort me, even though he was so bad? I tried to reach up, shifting on my bruised arms, reaching up to grasp Merry's bound hands with my own. We were both shaking.
There was a groan from inside the forest, and we shifted up, staring through the darkness towards the forest. Pippin's hands joined mine and Merry's hands, the three of us pressed up against each other for protection and comfort. The moonlight was enough for us to see each other.
"What's making that noise?"
Merry rose up slowly, looking over our heads, in the forest. He seemed to be snapping out of it again. "The trees..."
"What?"
"You remember the Old Forest, on the borders of Buckland?"
"That's in the shire." Pippin informed me, cutting Merry, his eyes meeting mine.
"Folk used to say there was something in the water that made the trees grow tall... and come alive."
"Alive?" Pippin's eyes darted to the groaning forest again.
"Trees that could whisper, talk to each other... even move." Merry stared over Pippin's head at the forest, uneasy, then back to him.
"I'm starving. We ain't had anything but maggoty bread for three stinking days."
Had it really only been three days? I swallowed. I knew where this was going and I grasped Merry and Pippin's hands tighter in mine, protective, wishing I could ...grab them and run.
"Yeah! Why can't we have some meat!" The orc stared at us. Stared at us like we were edible. I swallowed. "What about them? They're fresh."
Something grabbed all three of us, a Uruk Hai dragging us to our feet, his sheer strength enough to easily keep us up as we were dragged away from the hungry orc.
"They are not for eating!" The leader growled, as Uruk Hai moved between us and them.
"What about their legs? They don't need those." The orc stared at our legs, all three of them, swallowing and licking his lips. "They look tasty." He started towards us, eyes fixed on our legs.
"Get back scum!" The leader shoved him back. "The prisioners go to Saruman. Alive and unspoiled."
"Alive?" The orc headed for us. "Why alive? Do they give good sport?" He was serious, fucking serious, and I suddenly ralised how ignorant I'd been to call the elves unearthly. These things? Monsters out of the worst sci-fi movie.
"They have something. An Elvish weapon. The master wants it for the war."
I swallowed. And what about me? What did he want with me? Whatever it was, he hadn't told this Uruk-leader-person. Pippin shifted closer to Merry, whispering something, and while I didn't hear it, I knew what he said.
The Uruk Hai thought one of us had the ring. I elbowed Pippin, as Merry did.
"Shh..." Merry hissed something, probably telling him to shut the fuck up, and I stared around. None of the Uruk Hai had apparently heard them.
Movement in front of us made me flinch, as the orc headed straight for us again, his blade raising high. "Just a mouthful... a bit off the flank..."
The blade raised over us and just as he was about to strike, something flew through the air. It took me a few seconds to get what I was seeing, what hot fluid was now coming out in a fountain over my bare legs and ruined tunic, and that he now had no head.
"Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!"
We were shoved aside, as Orc and Uruk Hai both dived for the now dead Orc, organs, intesetines, flesh, ripping, flying, thrown all about. I nearly fell on top of Pippin.
"Pippin, let's go!" Merry hissed. "Wendy."
I followed, crawling, bare legs scratching as we tried to scramble away on our elbows and bellies towards the dark forest. However dark it was, however alive it might be, and I knew it was now, it was better than here...
Something grabbed Pippin, dragging him back, and we twisted around awkwardly to see Pippin under an Orc.
"Go on, call for help..." The orc lifted his head up by the cheeks, as we tried to scramble back, to... I didn't know, kick him? "No one's going to save you now..."
I realized what was about to happen and threw myself back, knocking Merry back, who stared at me like I was mad. He was about to fling himself at the orc once more when it happened.
A spear. Into the orc's back. Pippin slid back, fast, as the now dead Orc collapsed.
"Pippin!" Merry hissed. He stared at me, and I shrugged, and we tried to crawl away, bodies weak with shock.
"Move, horses!" I hissed, trying to crawl away for the forest as fast as I could. Merry hesitaed, glancing back, and I saw why.
Pippin had frozen over an axe, cutting himself free, apparently not getting it. Big fucking horses. Spear happy men. About to kill us.
I twisted around to see him nearly crushed by a horse, rolling aside just in time, and he scrambled across to us, grasping for our ropes with a knife he'd dragged off his belt. Hands freed, burning skin in the cool night air, we scrambled, crawled, ducked, the hobbits darting under a horse, me around the back, trying to avoid being seen, my hood falling over my head and half blinding me.
"The belt!" Merry yelled, and I turned, to see him held back, his fingers scrambling for the belt.
"Run!" Merry yelled, grabbing my arm, and we ran for the forest as fast as we could, heads down, leaving the battle.
I flopped, strength giving way in the darkness of the forest, shutting my eyes.
"Did we loose them?"
The ent. Treebeard. I knew it. And I glanced back, at the men, knowing... this was where we had to seperate. Did I go with them or wait for Aragorn? I didn't know.
A shout decided it for me. "I'm going to rip out your filthy little innards!"
Merry and Pippin scrambled up, suddenly, leaving me there. I tried to stand, but collapsed, my legs giving way. I froze, hearing them crash into the forest without me, probably competely unaware I wasn't still following... and I froze, heart thudding, waiting for the orc to discover me helpless.
But he didn't see me. He rushed past, rushed for where he must have heard the hobbits crashing through the undergrowth, screaming at them, his words lost in the din of the battle just on the other side of the trees.
I heard the hobbits, I heard their screams, their calls and then... the ground shook. Had treebeard found them? Or was that the horses?
I tried to stand, stumbling, feet bleeding as I tried to follow their shouts, tried to find them. The Rohan men would come in here and would kill anything they found, without expecting to find me, I knew that...
"Run, Merry!"
The words shouted reached my ears and I stumbled across roots, I swore I felt trees move under my feet, skin tearing as thorns grasped me and tried to hold on.
A sudden glow blinded me, from deep in the trees, a great white glow. Gandalf. It was Gandalf.
Relieved, I stumbled towards the light, fighting the urge to slip unconcious again, to give into the pain and sleep.
I was almost there. Almost. Almo...
I slipped, banging my head on something hard, and when I woke, there was nothing. No sounds. No movement.
Just the early morning sunlight getting through the thick canopy.