Another Life

by Corinder

When 'Wendy', an overweight girl with self-esteem issues, is offered another chance somewhere else, or drown, she takes the 'other chance' and wakes up, no memories, dragged into an adventure that she was never supposed to be apart of. This isn't as simple as it seems... whoever said Middle Earth in the middle of a war was going to be fun?

8. The preparation for battle

The two of us stayed there a while, not talking, just ... I wasn't sure what to call it. Legolas seemed to be watching me, even though he had started to repair and make new arrows, I felt his attention glued on me. Every time I moved suddenly, or went to say something, his eyes would snap to me.

Finally I needed fresh air.

"I'm going outside." I informed him.

Legolas nodded, standing, agreeing without saying a word. Apparently he was too.

When we came out, Eowyn had a sword to Aragorn's neck, and Legolas crossed his arms across his chest as we watched.

"She is angry." He said, softly, glancing sideways at me.

"Yeah." I agreed. "Aragorn can cope. Let's find this horse of mine and that dwarf friend of yours."

"Of mine?" Another smile cracked through his mask, Legolas rolling my words over in his head, and he nodded. "Let us find that friend of ours."

Her eyes, haunted, stared at Aragorn as he strode towards the door ahead of us. And then at me, her eyes drifting over my sword, the bow, the same haunted look. She craved my freedom.

The horses were ready, I noticed, lined up, restless with excitement. People were crowding around, or waiting lower down, some people already on horses.

I stared at my horse for a very long time, even after Legolas and Gimli had mounted, at this big thick bodied brown creature, one blue eye and one brown eye watching me, half the mare's face white.

"Come, we ride!"

The call came closeby. People jumped onto horseback.

It suddenly occurred to me... I didn't know if I knew how to ride.

Uh oh.

As if reading my mind, Legolas shifted closer, asking softly, "Have you ridden on your own?"

"I don't know." I muttered. He frowned and then followed me to the horse. Oh boy. I would fall off in front of all the greatest riders in this Middle Earth. The horse stared at me, and I stared at it, this suddenly giant warm brown beast, a long face bearing down on me, eyes still boring into mine. Uh oh.

Aragorn moved beside me. To my embarrassment, he aided me up, but as he did, he spoke loudly, "I have informed them of your injuries, Wenduin, and this horse will bear you gently until your injuries have recovered." He winked, a hidden motion of his eye, as he helped me in. Aragorn leaned up. "I did not know if you were able to ride. This horse will follow calmly."

"Thanks." I smiled weakly, shifting on the saddle, as I slid my feet into the metal things. He gave the reins to me and I held them. Nothing was coming to me. No amazing horse skills to go with those amazing archery skills. If I had done this before I didn't feel it.

A great many people, I noticed, were walking and I felt bad as we rode away at a slow pace. Why me? I had to assume this was because they thought I was Aragorn's sister, which maybe made me special because he was the heir to Gondor, or maybe because he'd over-described how injured I was.

But the truth was, I was still physically exhausted, and though I'd slept and ate well, the last four days with the Uruk Hai and the orcs still lingered in my bones, in my body, and I ached from head to foot. I also ached now in another place but this was a good one, one that reminded me of Legolas, and I didn't really mind that one.

We rode for some time, and walked, the slow procession of people trailing beside us, behind us, in front. It was such a slow journey. I saw elderly people, stumbling, exhausted already, children, women carrying babies, and guilt at riding only increased.

"I can let others ride, if this is a long trip, I don't have to ride all the way..." I called to Eowyn, as she walked alongside, and to my surprise I actually saw her smile.

She reached up to take my hand. "Thank you. There are many who may need to take your offer here. Are your injuries bothering you?"

"A little..." My bum ached too, a little, I wasn't used to the saddle. "But walking might be a nice change."

Legolas on her other side, still riding, met my eyes and said, "I will scout ahead. Gimli may need a smaller horse without me so this one may be of use too."

"Thank you..." Eowyn's face was melting slightly. We paused, others passing as the three of us dismounted. She called to someone behind her, on a horse that looked far too small for him. "Come, you may ride one of these horses, and let Gimli ride the pony."

Gimli moved onto the smaller animal, much better suited, as Legolas jogged ahead, his bow out. I stretched my arms, watching a woman with a child helped onto the back.

"I will lead your horse, Gimli." Eowyn took the reins, and met my eyes. "Will you walk with us or scout?"

"One Elf is enough for that." I replied as I started to walk again. "If you don't mind my company."

"No. I have ...questions I would ask of you." She responded, softly, and then to Gimli, "I have not a lot of understanding about the world of Elf or Dwarf. I have only seen few Elven women and Dwarf women, none... "

"You think there are none?" Gimli offered, as he hoisted his axe into a better position, shifting on the back of the little horse.

Eowyn smiled, nodding, relaxing as we strode across the dry grass. "It crossed my mind, I confess, for I have never heard of a dwarf woman even seen. I had heard a curious rumour though-"

"That Dwarf are born out of stone?" Gimli laughed. He shifted on the back of the horse, clearly delighted that Eowyn was interested in him rather than Elves, his axe resting on his shoulder. "It's true, you don't see many Dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance that they're often mistaken for Dwarf men."

Aragorn, behind us, whispered, "It's the beards," and we both saw him gesture to his chin.

Eowyn gestured at him to shh, glancing over her shoulder, and met my eyes, mirroring my smile a little more, relaxing.

"This, in turn, has given rise to the belief that there are no Dwarf women…" Gimli threw his arms out, clearly encouraged by her growing smile, gesturing as he added enthusiastically, "And that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground!"

Eowyn laughed, as Gimli did, and I laughed too, watching her relax, meeting Aragorn and Gimli's faces, her guard falling by the second.

"... which is, of course, ridiculous." Gimli dropped his arms, a bit too enthusiastic, and he scared the poor little horse. It suddenly took off, as fast as it could go, probably thinking he'd kicked it... and Gimli fell sideways just a few metres from us, right off the poor startled thing. Eowyn rushed after him, holding her skirt, and I saw she too was wearing pants under her dress.

"It's all right. Nobody panic!" Gimli struggled to get up, Eowyn tugging him up, "That was deliberate. It was deliberate."

I moved backwards, to Aragorn's side, as Eowyn brushed him off, her smile meeting mine and then she gazed forward to where Aragorn had continued to watch, his own lips curled up in amusement on his own horse.

" I haven't seen my niece smile for a long time. She was a girl when they brought her father back dead. Cut down by Orcs." Theoden's voice was heavy with pain and regret as he spoke, beside us, his eyes meeting Aragorn and my eyes. So it was okay for me to be here. Good. I still wasn't sure about what was the right thing to do around a King. He didn't seem to care, his eyes going to his niece, Aragorn's smile fading as well. "She watched her mother succumb to grief. Then she was left alone, to tend her king in growing fear. Doomed to wait upon an old man who should have loved her as a father."

Aragorn and Eowyn held each other's gaze, for a long time, before she turned and started to walk alongside Gimli, who had muttered something about taking a break and walking as well.

After some time, I had to admit I was getting tired, and Aragorn surprised me as he suddenly jumped off his horse.

"I need to stretch my legs. Here." He hoisted me up before I could protest, beside Theoden, who more or less ignored me. "Ride a while and I will walk along side."

"We will stop for the night soon." Theodan said, glancing at me and Aragorn, his eyes boring into us. "I see a likeness between the two of you." He did? "But I hear you are also Elf, Wenduin..."

"We have the same mother." Aragorn said softly, reaching up to grasp my hand, squeezing it. "But our fathers are very different."

The same mother. He was sharing his mother with me. Somehow, I felt like this was huge, this was important, a compliment, that Aragorn had to really like me to offer this background. He returned his grasp on the reins, striding forward, eyes ahead. I nodded weakly.

"She is not a Lady of Gondor then?" Theoden regarded me, no disgust, nothing, just mild interest. "Trained in the way of the Elf instead?"

"She is free to be what she desires." Aragorn responded, glancing back at me, reaching up to stroke the horse's neck. "My mother's gift to her, and now mine. Her future is free for her to choose, men or elf, and I stand by her as a brother as long as I live."

I stared at him as he smiled up at me, warm, cheeks flushing. Why did I care about his approval so much? I didn't know. It just felt good for Aragorn to offer it. Eowyn, some feet to our left, stared at me once more, that haunted look returning to her face.

His words still echoed in my head as we stopped for camp, and I sat there, watching Eowyn trying to cook. I felt bad for her. She didn't seem to know how to do it... and I knew she was going to try and feed Aragorn. The last thing we needed was for her and him to get food poisoning.

"Here, let me help..." I offered, shifting closer, as she stared at the pieces of meat and vegetable she'd been given, her face frowning somewhat.

"I would like to do this alone. Please." Eowyn shook her head. She seemed determined. "But I would appreciate the company as it cooks."

Oh. I got it suddenly and decided against any further insisting of help. This was clearly a very important task. "This is for Aragorn?"

She flinched, staring up at me, cheeks reddening somewhat. So innocent, I realised, and so afraid of being so vulnerable. Woops. Shouldn't have done that. I added, quickly, "Sorry, I just … guessed."

"Yes, it is." Eowyn carefully hung the pot above the fire and, unsure, started to drop things into the water. It wasn't going to be good but I decided to just ...let her. "Elves have insight beyond that of us, I heard. Would you cook for the Lord Legolas?"

Now it was my turn to flinch. I grinned sheepishly as she met my gaze with a 'Sure, your turn to deny' expression. Lord Legolas. Oh boy, that was a funny mouthful to say.

"Well, he doesn't eat much. So no." I added, "And sometimes they do. But I am not Elf..."

"Not all Elf, no. Your mother was his mother, and human." Eowyn didn't really get what I was saying and I sighed, deciding to just let it drop. Half human was better than 'full elf'. She stirred the soup, as it started to warm on the coals, watching it. "Did you grow up with him?"

"He's older than me." I replied. Then, "But I don't remember much. I struck my head and lost most of my memories a few months ago."

She stared up at me and sat back, slowly. "Everything?"

"Well, I remember how to do things, if I knew them before, but I don't remember what I can do. And I think I've forgotten some things I can do. If that makes sense."

"Such as riding." I nodded, understanding dawning in her face, Eowyn breathing out. "I wondered why a sister of Aragorn with elf blood would not be comfortable on a horse. You have forgotten how to ride."

"I don't remember how to ride." That was a better explanation than other things. I added, quickly, "But I love horses."

"Why you do not speak in Elvish..." She continued, jumping, and stirred quickly. "It sticks to the bottom. Is that normal? No, do not answer. I do not need help."

"I don't remember that either." I agreed. Legolas passed by, our eyes meeting, his step faltering for a fraction of a second. He gestured to me and then continued on, slower. "I think I should find some food, if this is for Aragorn."

"You may share it, of course!" Eowyn blinked at me. "I do not mind. But I would cook it..." She saw me staring at Legolas, turning, and then she laughed, a soft laugh. "I was right then. Your lover?"

I went red and she sat back down. "Go then, but you will not find a moment alone here."

"I think he just wants to check that everything is healing." I responded, cheeks red, seeing that Legolas was carrying a pouch of healing herbs. "So we're ready to fight. All of that can wait."

"It must be wonderful to have so many years." Eowyn said softly. "To not feel rushed. Go. We will talk later. I think this is ready."

I seriously doubted it but I decided to let her go for it. She headed off, carrying the little pot and bowls, and I followed after Legolas.

I was right of course, it had nothing to do with lover stuff, he made me sit down as he re-dressed all the cuts with a thin paste of herb and water.

"As it dries, it will fall off, but leave it." Legolas ran his hand along my thigh, the cuts, frowning at the bruises still yellowed. "It will aid the healing. Why do you heal so slow?"

"I'm not an Elf?" I wasn't joking. He knew it.

"You have no memories of being a human either." Legolas responded. "You may not be one as I am, but ..."

He was still convinced I was part Elf. I stared at him as he slid my tunic over my shoulder, pressing the paste into either side where the arrow had torn through my body, fingers gentle.

"What if I am?"

He didn't answer. Legolas just continued to treat my body. What if I wasn't anything Elf, at all? Was this why he liked me? What if I was pure human? Elves had this thing, I'd noticed, this thing against us. But he liked Aragorn. He liked Gimli. What abut me? "What if I'm human?"

"Then we need not tell anyone. We will keep it between ourselves until I can talk with my father." Legolas responded softly. He frowned. "I do not believe it though. I do not accept you are mortal."

What? Before I could argue, he'd stood up, and headed off without a backward glance.

I did not sleep well that night. Gimli snored. I lay there, eyes shut, during the few precious dark hours Theodan had allowed everyone for a rest before we continued. Legolas didn't want to accept I was mortal?

I probably slept, the night didn't seem that long, but the look on his face when he'd said that haunted me. He'd looked lost for a moment, tired, and really old. Legolas couldn't accept that I might live like every other human, just a moment of his life? Did he fear me growing old? Or dying? Or was I to never change?

I didn't know. The words, the conflict, and his genuine hope... because that was what it was, hope, that I was Elf, or part Elf, or something that would last...

I didn't know what to tell him.

I walked quietly the next day, rode, Legolas scouting ahead. He'd avoided me last night and this morning. He'd avoided me and I knew it was on purpose. I felt it. Somehow, whatever I'd tried to say, it'd upset him. I walked close to Gimli, slowly, the warm sun bearing down on us, feeling the familiar ache of blisters once more. It didn't bother me that much any more.

"You feeling alright, Lass?" Gimli asked, beside me, using his axe once more as a walking stick.

"Yeah." I smiled weakly down at him. "I didn't sleep well. Twigs, stones, not much fun."

"I miss a warm bed myself." Gimli added, "Don't tell the Elf."

I nodded, smiling, breathing out slowly.

"Cold winds in these lands. Underground, it is warm, safe." Gimli breathed out too, as if he could picture it. "Under the earth, where no cold wind blows, where the walls glitter with fire and gem. You need not much blanket or covers in my father's Hall, each room is warm enough without."

"The stars glitter."

"Aye, they do. I pretend they are the worms that glow in my home, sometimes, when I miss it." Gimli's voice dropped softer. "Many a night as a boy I would wake and make shapes from them. The moving stars of my chambers. Never the same image."

I gazed up, seeing Legolas on a ridge ahead, and swallowed as two horses rode past him. I wasn't sure if it was okay or not for me to warn Gimli but...

That guy, that nice guard Hama or whatever his name was, he was about to die. I knew it. I hated that I knew it. But … I grasped my horse, suddenly, managing to hoist myself onto the back.

"Gonna check something out." I informed Gimli, smiling, and before he could answer, kicked forward and raced across the hill, ignoring the shouts. Up the slope we went, me and this horse, and I hoped like hell I wasn't riding it to its death. What the fuck was I doing? Riding TO a warg? Hey, I didn't have to get close, did I? I could ...um. Shoot it.

Legolas called something as I rode past, and I called, "Warg!" without knowing if he actually heard me or not. I froze, as we came over the ridge, seeing that the two horses ahead were starting to panic. They couldn't see what I could from this short distance. A warg and rider right on top of the cliff above them.

" Still, horsey, still..." I whispered, dragging my bow out, trying to aim. The horse lurched sideways, as Legolas rushed past, and the arrow went flying... right into the Orc's arm, as it and the warg pounced onto the horses below, Legolas with his bow already out.

Hama's scream echoed, as one of the warg advanced on him, chilling me to the bone. I kicked my horse, as it jolted forward, trying to aim, charging at the warg, right past Legolas.

The warg, about to tear off the man's head, turned and saw me and my horse charging it. We nearly trampled poor Hama as we charged it, making it jump sideways, and the other rider, the Rohan man, charged at it, sword out. Hama ducked behind us, grasping his sword, face pale as a ghost. He'd nearly become one.

Legolas charged, bow out, and with a single arrow he killed the warg, throwing the orc to one side. The orc screamed, as the blonde elf ran straight at him, silver knife glinting, my horse half-rearing and nearly throwing me off. Hama grabbed the reins just in time as Legolas killed the orc.

"A scout!" Legolas shouted back to Aragorn, meeting my eyes, as he threw the corpse down.

"Thank you..." Hamas breathed beside me.

Aragorn only took thirty seconds to get the women and children screaming, we heard it over the hill, and then suddenly there was growling. I moved up, then... I couldn't fight from the back of a horse. Hama could.

I jumped down, stumbling, "Get on the horse, you're trained to do that kind of fighting," and headed for Legolas. Stupid? Maybe. Hamas didn't have time to tell me- I was beside Legolas, bow out, and we aimed as we saw warg and riders explode over the crest of the hill. Hama mounted my horse. I headed for the highest part of the hill and decided to keep my distance.

Behind us, horses thundered, the ground shook.

"To that side!" Legolas shouted, pointing, and I moved, just seconds from being trampled, just in time to see Legolas do some magic elf thing onto the horse in front of Gimli.

The warg and horses hit each other, two waves of swords, blades, teeth, blood flying, bodies falling on both sides, and I aimed, legs shaking, firing with every last inch of skill I had. This was what I could do. I could fire arrows. So I did.

The funny thing was, they barely even noticed me, the riders, they were charging past with barely a glance at me. Maybe as the 'sister of Aragorn and daughter of an Elf', it wasn't surprising to them that I was all bowed up and ready to stick arrows in things. The warg, on the other hand, did, and the second they were riderless, I found myself charged at by one, teeth bared, growl, this massive thing that was a cross between a bear, a boar and a wolf, so heavy that the ground shook with every paw dug into it.

I nearly peed myself, stepping back, arrow in string, and just feet from being trampled and torn apart, the arrow flew into its eye, deep, and suddenly it was dead, skidding, knocking me over the ridge some metres as the lifeless body came to a halt. Heavy lifeless body.

A hand grabbed at me, someone dragging me up, Hama calling, "Up!". Lucky I saved this guy. He smiled, gratitude all over his face, blood pouring down his head, and …

Something crashed into him, teeth, the smile caught on his face as his neck was torn apart, blood splattering me. He didn't even see it, the warg, he hit the ground, smile still on his face, gratitude. For me. For extending his life a good three minutes.

The warg twisted, teeth dripping with his blood, and even though I didn't know the man, I felt grief twist, and pain, and slashed at it as it came at me, the body of another behind me, ramming my sword up through the roof of its mouth and through its head, ignoring the teeth that grazed my arm, tiny scrapes... but that was it.

Hama was dead. I hadn't been able to save him. He'd died, no matter what. I stared at him, trembling, and when I turned to try and help, I saw that the battle was already more or less won. Or had I been standing there in shock? Didn't know. Someone rode past, a man, hot on the tail of a warg that was fleeing.

I turned slowly, heading up the hill, nearly ploughed down by an orc that was running for it. Sword. Orc stomach. Didn't even try- he'd just run right into me while looking backwards. I stared at him as he collapsed, black blood bubbling out, over my arm and hand.

"Aragorn?" Gimli's shout caught my attention. "Wenduin?"

I headed over, jogging with energy I didn't know I had, and Gimli glanced back at me, relieved. "There you are."

Legolas glanced behind, at my arm, and then back to the cliff, making his way up it slowly. He hadn't been worried? Good, I guessed.

"Are you injured badly, Wenduin?" Theodan's call came, as he rode past, pulling his horse to a fast stop beside me in a little explosion of dirt.

"No, just a scratch." I replied, teeth almost chattering, more in shock about Hama than myself. "But I couldn't save Hama..."

A hand closed on my shoulder, Theodan's face grim as he dismounted, his hand squeezing my shoulder. "Come. Let us find your brother."

We headed up the cliff slowly to Legolas and Gimli.

I heard an orc laugh, "...off the cliff."

Theodan's face darkened, and he moved away, up the hill, towards the cliff edge.

Legolas met my eyes, his eyes narrowed, and then suddenly he was grasping the orc's clothing, fury flooding his face. Aragorn. Dead? He couldn't cope with the idea. It wasn't just me he wanted around. He wanted everyone he cared about... I suddenly understood. He was ancient and would loose us long before it was his time.

"You lie!" He hissed, as the orc just laughed, dying in his hands. Legolas dropped him and saw it as I did. A glint in the orc's hand.

The Evening star. Or something. Even star. The glittery necklace

I moved up to stand next to Gimli, as he stared at it in his hand, this tiny delicate thing as beautifully crafted as the leaf he'd given me. He couldn't even look at me, grief flooded his face, and he rushed up to the cliff's edge, the two of us hurrying after him.

I knew Aragorn was alive. Didn't I?

We stood beside Theodan, staring down, and I wondered if I was wrong about this. It was a very long way, there were a lot of rocks, and ...that river looked very shallow. Fast, but shallow.

How the hell could he survive that?

"Get the wounded on horses. The wolves of Isengard will return. Leave the dead."

Legolas flinched, staring at Theoden like he was mad, his body tensing. This was clearly not something you did as an Elf.

Theodan rested his hand on Legolas, speaking softer. "Come." His eyes went to me, and he added, his other hand reaching out to grasp mine. I didn't see a King then. I just saw a grieving father, a man, trying to offer others comfort. I suddenly really respected this man. "Grieving must wait."

I stared at him as he moved away, Hama's dead face still in my head, Legolas frozen beside me. Neither of us moved, not until Gimli did, and we followed him down the hill, Legolas brushing his arm against mine for a few minutes, his body trembling.

My horse. I stared at it, as it was led towards me, the red blood still against the light brown fur. I took the reins, a wounded man on it, and numbly followed the other soldiers down the hill and across a long flat plain. The other women and children were already far ahead of us, a good half hour ahead, Eowyn probably leading them.

As we drew closer, the man on my horse was helped onto the back of another, and I was helped up.

"Come, we ride for Helm's deep." Theodan called. He clearly meant me as well. I moved after the others, gripping onto the saddle, my horse happily charging after the horses in front of us, just behind Legolas.

We moved faster, hearing a shout of 'Make way for the king. Make way for Théoden. Make way for the king!" from ahead as we rode into the stone walls of Helm's Deep. Crowds parted, pressing against the walls as the horses rushed up the stone steps, hooves clattering.

Eowyn was waiting when we arrived, her face pale, and she stared at us. "So few... so few of you have returned."

Legolas dismounted, moving away into the shadows when Gimli was safely down, and I hurriedly followed him. He found a darker corner that had a little gap opening out to the air, sheltered by pillars, and stood there, trembling, his eyes shut and pain coursing across his face. When I touched his arm, he flinched, but didn't withdraw, his hand came up to grasp mine and hold it hard as he stared out across the plains through the stone gap.

"Legolas?"

He didn't look at me, just drew me closer, an arm closing over my shoulder. No one could see us, I checked, but I suspected this time he wouldn't have cared. He leaned against me, face white, trembling.

"We left him." He breathed, shutting his eyes, muttering something in Elvish. Pain coursed across his face. "I do not understand."

"I couldn't save him. Hama. I tried. I saw his death and stopped it, and then he just died a different way." I leaned against him. It hurt to know that. Legolas tightened his arm, leaning against me, his chin coming to rest on my head. "Aragorn can't be..."

"If he isn't, we abandoned him. He lies there now, injured, dying."

"Legolas..." I hesitated, quiet, not sure what to say. "He's ...clever. Smart. He's a ranger. He knows how to... if he's alive-" I still wasn't sure if I was right or not... "-then... he'll manage. You know he's good at surviving."

Legolas stared down at his hand. In it was the necklace. He fingered it, before he slid it into his pocket, breathing out slowly. But he didn't seem convinced when he responded. "He is."

Gimli came over, his arm wrapping around my waist, leaning against the wall in front of Legolas. He spoke softly. "Theodan is going to draw all forces behind the wall."

"I heard. All the women and children into the caves." Legolas said quietly. His eyes went to me, staring at me suddenly, as if he was waiting for me to say something too.

When I didn't, he frowned, and stared at the weapon on my hip.

"You are also going in the caves, Wenduin." Legolas said, finally, and even from me his face was guarded now.

What!

Before I could respond, before I could react to this statement, he was gone, striding off, expression clouded. I went to charge after him and remind him ... I didn't know, about Moria, about the orcs, about anything where I'd stabbed a sharp metal object around... tell him it was my choice, not his, but Gimli grasped my arm and shook his head.

"No, lass, let him have his mind to himself now."

"But-" I gaped at Legolas back as he ran, feet light, down the ramp and vanished into the heavy wooden doors of the keep. It wasn't like he'd even asked. Even suggested. Nope. Legolas had more or less ordered me.

"Leave him." Gimli said softly, hand in mine, his course skin against my soft, as we watched Legolas wander off, face completely masked, eyes somewhere else."Let us help them carry the supplies into the cave."

"Do you think that?" Did Gimli think I should be there too? I stared at Gimli, who shrugged, responding, "Far as I'm concerned, you have experience now and can decide. I would not judge ye for either choice."

"I hadn't... decided yet." I admitted. "I just wanted to talk to him." Talk to him. I nodded, numb, and turned to follow him. There was nothing I could say to Legolas, nothing I could think of, and so I turned away, feeling sick to my stomach.

Gimli first tended to my wounds, quiet, and when I didn't speak, he asked, "Is there something you need to talk about?"

"I ...don't know."

"Say it, lass. I am a friend and you will not focus until it is said." Gimli's hands were soft, his own face haunted, his eyes on the scrapes.

"I tried to save Hama. I saw ...I saw his death. I see them sometimes. Not you, or anyone now, but..." I shut my eyes, telling him, telling him what I'd seen. What I'd tried to do. And how I couldn't change it. Gimli didn't speak, he stared at me, but ...he was quiet, calm, watching me, with no judgement on his face.

"We can sometimes change our lives or the lives of others." Gimli said softly. "Sometimes. But when we cannot, we must accept it."

"It's easier said than done..."

"Aye. But we try."

"Do you see things?" Gimli's words made me hesitate as he wrapped a light cloth over the cut and sat back up. I watched him carefully.

"Sometimes dwarves see things, yes. It isn't just Elves who have that gift. We view it as a gift. Some of us are able to change our lives. Some of us cannot. But men, dwarves and even Elves can go mad with the grief when they cannot change it. Sometimes it has to be left alone." Gimli spoke quietly, his eyes down. "To answer your question, aye. I have seen things. But nothing that I have changed. You say you changed one thing. Think of it as a gift, girl, that one moment."

A gift. Boromir's life had been a gift, granted to both of us, something I had changed. I nodded, breathing in slowly, and Gimli stood.

"Now, we must do our best. Help these people. Aragorn would expect no less if he were-" He trailed off, eyes shut, and I nodded, standing. "We will defend them."

"We will." I agreed.

We carried things in, side by side, trying to help. There seemed like an endless amount of supplies but from Eowyn's face, it was clear it wasn't enough, not for everyone. She smiled a tense smile at me, but her face was white, and I swore tears were just cracking. Aragorn. She'd liked him. Who could blame her?

"Are you in the caves with us?" She asked, tense, as we paused to accept water. I stared at her and Eowyn added, impatient, "The women and children are ordered to remain in the caves. But you are free, you are not bound by our King." There was a flash of pain, frustration, she gritted her teeth as she glanced back. "While I am bound to serve his will."

"And protect them."

She nodded, vaguely, eyes distant. "If it comes to that."

"Eowyn, I-"

"If I had your freedom, I would stand beside the man I loved. I would have fought beside him as equals and defended my people. But we have a duty to do here." Eowyn said quietly. She turned, moving past me, heading out again. "Come, there is more."

I sighed, shutting my eyes, aware that she was right. I was lucky to be so free with choice. I doubted the King would order me into the caves, not with the support of Legolas and Gimli, I was free to stand beside them. That was a gift. Wasn't it? A chance she would have killed to have with the warg. But I knew what was coming and I was already terrified.

Legolas returned that night, as we were crawling into a corner, sitting down nearby. He smiled a tense smile at me, reaching out to touch my hand, before he re-focused on the dark hall. "Sleep. I will keep watch."

"Don't need to tell me twice." Gimli grunted, tugging the pillow under his head, groaning. "Horses!" He snorted, shifting one arm behind him, and I could guess he was probably rubbing one of the many horse related bruises.

I woke sometimes that night, occasionally startled by people moving backwards and forwards, but we were left alone. Food was brought to us, the hall warming as the fire was made hot, and we woke long enough to eat before falling back asleep. I asked, sleepily, why we were being left alone at one point.

"Theodan has ordered us to sleep tonight." Legolas responded, softly, the hood of his cloak over his head. He stared at his hands. "So sleep."

"You too?"

"I sleep in my own way tonight."

With his eyes open, I suspected, but I was too sleepy to ask.

The next morning, Legolas was better, his smile returned, his tension fading. He actually touched me, fingers tracing over my hair as I woke, and he said softly, "I believe you."

"Huh?" I mumbled, sleepily, reaching up to touch his hand. "Whattimeesit..."

"It is morning. Aragorn is still alive. I do not believe he could die so easily." Legolas smiled, gazing back, resting his head against the stone.

"Me either." I yawned, stretching, bare wrist meeting cold stone. "Cold morning."

Eowyn rushed past, in the same dress as earlier, calling, "Come on. We must get the last of it into the caves!"

Action woman was at it again. I scrambled out of bed, tugging on my boots, Legolas aiding wit another of his amused smiles.

"Shh, it was the best they had." I whispered, as he prodded the end of the boot, where I had a full two inches from my toes to the end, the middle of it slightly too narrow.

"I will find you better." Legolas informed me, standing, and breathed out slowly. "We will talk soon."

"Talk?"

"Soon. First, go help."

Helping was exhausting. I was surprised by it, but after the third trip down the hill to the bottom of the keep, I was panting, sweating, my body physically just trying to give up under me. I managed to hide it for a little while but it was impossible when we'd gotten halfway back up.

Gimli grabbed the bag of turnips off me, growling softly, "All right, enough. Lass, you are in need of rest after your ordeal. Stop and sit down for the day."

"Ordeal?" Eowyn froze, staring at me, and once again I knew she was staring at the various bruises and things. Fainter now, yes, but not gone. "What ordeal?"

"This young lass was, until no more than three days ago, the captive of Uruk Hai for four days." Gimli responded before I could tell him to be quiet. He added, with a trace of admiration, "And then not yesterday, killed two warg. Enough. Rest." He went to grab the other bag and I grasped it quickly. He frowned.

A hand grasped it, dragging out of my grip with surprising strength, and Eowyn frowned at me as well. There it was, also admiration, and I wanted to squash it down.

"It wasn't that big a deal. It was mostly just luck. If they had come at me at once I would be dead." I muttered. "And the Uruk Hai didn't really torment me. They just carried me around."

"Without food and with very little water, for four days."

"Three days, really, I barely did anything." I didn't want them to stare at me like I was some kind of hero. "I just hung off their back while they did all the running. For three days. Trying to rescue me. It's Gimli, Legolas and Ara-"

Eowyn turned away, suddenly, and Gimli flinched. Oh fuck. Yeah. They were sure he was dead. I said quieter, "I mean, they were awesome. They ran for three days and three nights without food, barely any water, and no rest. None."

"Awe...some. Awe, yes." Eowyn agreed softly. She smiled at Gimli. "Then perhaps, you should both take some rest this afternoon."

"Rest? I am a dwarf, I need no-"

"Then make sure she does." Eowyn said, quickly, clearly realising she'd made some kind of insulting error. She met my gaze as I opened my mouth, cutting me off, "There are more than enough women and men here willing to help. Two less pairs of hands will not matter now. Two less swords later may be the difference between life and death. Rest."

I sighed, shutting my eyes a moment, as her words sank in. She was convinced I'd be fighting. I still wasn't sure it was a good idea. Gimli spoke, "Then we will carry these last bags up to the caves and do as you ask, my lady."

"Thank you." She smiled, looking as weary as I felt. "I will ask us all to rest soon. We will need strength."

We followed her up, slowly, Eowyn finally showing some of her own weariness. But the second she passed her uncle, it faded, hidden, under the steely resolve she was trying to show.

Hooves clattered down below, as she went to check what had been brought up already, calling for a break for all workers. Gimli and I hurried to the edge. I already knew who it'd be.

Aragorn rode up, all full of energy, not bad for a guy who had fallen off a cliff, nearly drowned and had been half unconscious on a horse. Gimli growled, "I'm going to... kill... kill him!" and rushed off, shoving people aside, as Aragorn jumped off his horse. Now that he was closer, he was clearly not that well, blood, dirt plastered on him, hair greasy, clothing torn, an open wound still bleeding. More than one, I realised, as Gimli grabbed him.

"Where is he? Where is he? Get our of the way! I'm going to kill him! You are the luckiest, the canniest, and the most reckless man I ever knew." Gimli's voice broke and he grabbed him hard, hugging him. "Bless you laddie."

I moved past, the crowd parting for me, and hugged Aragorn hard, relieved. Okay. This was one moment I was glad my 'vision' had been correct. He cringed slightly, his arm coming up to wrap around me.

"Gimli, Wenduin, where is the king?" Aragorn met our eyes, hands on either one of our shoulders, adding softer, "And my pack of healing herbs?"

"Legolas has them." Gimli replied, nodding behind us towards the heavy doors, "He is where he has remained for many hours."

Aragorn nodded, patting our shoulder, and went to walk towards the door. But I grabbed him. I had to know. I had to know if the other part of my 'vision' had been right. He frowned slightly. "Wenduin?"

"Ten thousand?"

Gimli inhaled slowly, mouthing the words, eyes going from me to Aragorn.. Before he could ask, Aragorn held his finger to his mouth.

"Maybe more." He nodded, frown increasing, before he patted my shoulder. "Let us tell the king."

We headed after him, as he strode forward, only for a pretty blonde man to appear in his tracks. Legolas smiled, reaching out to grasp Aragorn's shoulder. "Le abdollen. You look terrible."

"I'll get the herbs." Gimli muttered, backing off, as Legolas reached into his pocket. "Wendy?"

I moved away too, as Legolas gave Aragorn that precious thing, leaving them alone. We hurried to where the small pile of our things waited, grabbing the herbs and cloth, and water, before heading after Aragorn into the hall.

If Theoden minded that I was in the hall with 'the men' he didn't say. His eyes were on Aragorn, wide, breathing in slowly. "-reat host, you say?"

I moved to Aragorn's side with the water and a cloth, as he spoke, and he slowly pulled the fabric out of my way so I could clean it as they spoke.

"All Isengard is emptied." Aragorn replied, cringing as Gimli pressed the herbal mix into his shoulder.

"How many?"

Aragorn met my eyes, a moment, before he answered, "Ten Thousand strong at least."

"Ten Thousand?" That had to be a lot in Middle Earth. Theoden stared away, slowly, the veins in his neck rising.

"It is an army bred for a single purpose: To destroy the world of Men. They will be here by nightfall."

Legolas frowned, stepping closer to me, reaching out to take over the cleaning as I watched.

"Let them come!" Theoden growled, striding to the doors, face grim now. "Come, let us prepare."

We hurried after him, as did his close guards, as he strode for the gate into Helm's Deep. Gamling was right beside him, hurrying, as Theoden ordered, "I want every man and strong lad able to bear arms to be ready for battle by nightfall."

"Yes, my Lord." Gamling responded, hurrying off, shouting orders as he went.

"We will cover the causeway and the gate from above. No army has ever breached the Deeping wall, or set foot inside the Hornburg!" Theoden strode outside and gazed up at the gates.

Gimli met my eyes and he frowned, leaning on his axe. "This is no rabble of mindless Orcs. These are Uruk-Hai. Their armour is thick and their shields broad."

"And they are smarter than orcs." I muttered, softly, and Gimli grunted in agreement. Nastier.

"I have fought many wars, Master Dwarf. I know how to defend my own keep." Theoden strode inside, ahead of us, ignoring Gimli. But what? Run? Run where? To Gondor was the only answer I had. Where else would we go?

Aragorn grasped Gimli arm as we followed him inside, up the ramp, Theoden shouting orders, numbers for each post, names he wanted to be in charge of each area. Soldiers were hurrying, Gamling already far down below, shouting.

"They will break upon this fortress like water on rock. Saruman's hordes will pillage and burn. We've seen it before. Crops can be resown, homes rebuilt. Within these walls we will outlast them." Theoden said, loudly, his voice echoing so loud that those below heard as well. His confidence was nice, really, but …

It was so much worse than that. I gritted my teeth as Aragorn spoke what we were all thinking.

"They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages. They come to destroy its people, down to the last child."

Theoden grasped Aragorn's shirt, suddenly, dragging him close, hissing, "What would you have me do? Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread. If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance." He let him go, stepping back, and turned around again.

"Send out riders, my lord. You must call for aid." Aragorn moved towards Theoden again.

"And who will come? Elves? Dwarves? We are not so lucky in our friends as you. The old alliances are dead." As he spoke, his gaze burnt Legolas, Gimli, the targets of his frustration. How often had Rohan needed them, only to be alone? I didn't know.

"Gondor will answer." Aragorn refused to give in. He believed it.

"Gondor?! Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?! Where was Gondor when our enemies closed in around us?! Where was Gon–? No, my Lord Aragorn, we are alone." Theoden breathed out, slowly, shutting his eyes, pain flashing across his face a moment. Hurt. He felt betrayed. I could see it in his face.

We watched him hurry in, Gamling rushing to his side, Aragorn sighing as he leaned against the stone wall. Legolas frowned and turned to me.

"We must speak." He said, sharp, and then, "Aragorn? Gimli? We must all speak."

This sounded pretty serious. We followed him into a quieter place, as people passed us, ignoring us.

Legolas turned, meeting Aragorn's eyes, and then stared at me a moment. He said something softly in Elvish.

"I agree. Wenduin." Aragorn spoke, softly, reaching out to me. "This time, you must go into the caves."

"What!" I blinked, staring at them both. "But..." I gaped at them both. Legolas had more or less gone behind my back for backup.

"You are exhausted."

"So are you!" I retorted, staring at Aragorn's exhausted face, "I've done good so far." Okay. I wasn't sure I wanted to be there. But I wanted the choice. "Let me decide this."

"No. There are too many this time." Aragorn shook his head.

"You must wait in the caves." Legolas added. He reached out to touch me and I flinched, shoving him back. "Wenduin..."

"I said, no." I gritted my teeth, glaring at them both, and then spun onto Gimli. "You think so too? Even after all I've done and been through? Why do you three get to be here?"

Gimli opened his mouth, then held up his hands, backing off. "I said what I meant before. But ..."

"We're trained." Aragorn snapped. "I have sixty years of sword training. Legolas has over five hundred years as a warrior. You have less than two months."

I growled softly, shutting my eyes, frustrated. "This should be my choice."

Legolas said, quieter, "Please."

"Stay in the caves. For this time, stay back." Aragorn said softly. "There are too many this time. We would ask the same of the hobbits, were they here. We cannot protect your back during this, Wenduin, we must be able to concentrate."

" I could not do so if you were seconds from death for hours."

"It may take days. Weeks." Aragorn added. "As your friends, we ask you to stay out of this. This time."

I turned, leaving, before they could say any more, anger burning through me. Who did they think they were? I went for the armoury, teeth gritted, staring around for something. Better boots would be a good start. It was barely three minutes before Aragorn managed to tell someone.

I was in a smaller storeroom when I was found. Gamling, the King's personal Guard, sent to deal with me.

"I'm sorry." Gamling, apologetic, as he grasped my bow and took it away. "You cannot fight this one. Your brother has informed us that you are to be in the caves this time and we need all weapons."

"The cave." Fury and hurt flooded through my chest. Oh fuck this. This wasn't cool. I scowled, trembling. Did I want to fight? I didn't know yet. I hadn't decided yet. This wasn't their choice.

"Yes, my lady." He smiled weakly, taking the sword also, and the belt. "And... we would need your armour."

My armour? I stared down at the tunic, as he did, and the wrist guards, Gamling reluctantly patting my shoulder. "I would not ask but we are... desperate. The more we have, the better."

It wasn't his fault, I knew that, he was just trying to arm his people. I reached up, unstrapping it slowly, hearing him breath out in relief as I didn't argue. It wasn't his fault. Legolas and Aragorn had started this. I knew, even though I hadn't before, that I wanted to be fighting too. Thousands of Uruk Hai? Yeah, I knew that, and I knew what it would be like. I could see it in my head.

As I stood there, staring down, I saw it. Rain. People dying. A great explosion that more or less screwed Helm's deep. I had to be there. Teeth gritted, I hissed, "I should be there too. One less person is not a good idea..."

Gamling shook his head slowly, as I glared at him. He said quietly, "The lady Eowyn said much the same thing. This is not something I can help. You both must be there between Helm's Deep and the helpless in the cave. If there are too many..." He trailed off, eyes distant, fear flickering across his face once more. He breathed in slowly, his body rising, shoulders squaring. "We have need of you both, yes, but not out here."

Not out here.

I sighed and nodded. I handed him the wrist guards and tugged the leather tunic off, my shirt more than enough, handing it to him too. Gamling smiled sadly.

"The caves will not be closed off until dark, my lady, they are rushing as much in as they can. You do not need to rush into them now."

"Where are they?"

"There is a small heavy door at the back of the Hall, inside the Mountain. You will be shown. Here." He gave me something, a thin linen dress, "I asked the Lady Eowyn. You may wear this."

A dress. Because I was a women. I suddenly really hated dresses. But I nodded, taking it, trying to remind myself yet again that this wasn't his fault. Guys around here clearly weren't comfortable with the idea of a woman running around in a shirt and pants.

"The extra layer will replace the warmth this would have offered." Gamling added, as he folded the tunic up over his arm, moving away to stand in front of the door. "The caves can be cold at night, I am told. You may change, I will not turn around."

Oh. I suddenly felt bad. He was just trying to make sure I was warm. While his back was turned.

I tugged it over my head, quickly, the dark brown fabric sliding easily, fitting easily over the thinner shirt. He was right. It was an instant layer of extra warmth. The only laces were around my wrists, and I tied them up as I told him, "Okay, I'm done."

Gamling nodded to me, as he turned a fraction, and then he headed out, rushing back into the panic outside. I stood there, breathing in and out slowly, shutting my eyes.

As the day went on, I avoided Aragorn and Legolas, kind of humiliated. Yeah, okay, I was a woman. But never in my life had I felt so … unequal with men as I did right now. Never. It made me so angry, as I watched kids, kids!, given weapons. It wasn't just pride. It was frustration. They had all these kids and elderly men, but had ignored the women, women would have as much of a chance, if not more, than half the boys and old men.

I had to talk to Aragorn though. I had seen an explosion, I had seen how this battle would go, and I knew I had to tell him. As angry as I was with them and with the stubborn pigheaded men here, I didn't want them to die, and fear was just barely contained under the anger I was using to keep myself from freaking out.

As it grew dark, as someone mentioned closing the caves soon, I sighed out slowly and finally stood up to find Aragorn.

"Have you seen my brother?" I asked, quiet. I didn't even have to tell him who I meant, this random soldier I didn't know, he glanced at my lack of ears and knew exactly who I was. Fantastic. I was famous.

"In the armoury, my lady."

I headed for it, gritting my teeth, trying to rehearse this. I was pissed off. I wasn't helpless. I had survived a bunch of stuff. No... I couldn't say that. I just had to tell him the basics. 'Big explosion. Look out for a Uruk Hai with a giant metal ball in his arms and a torch, don't let him reach the wall.' Right. If I could change something in this whole mess, surely that wouldn't matter too much.

As I headed for it, I saw Aragorn, flopping down heavily, head in his hand. He stared up as I came up to him, grief and frustration on his face, crushing any anger I was about to vomit all over him.

"Wenduin."

"Hi." I sat down, quietly, as he grasped my hand and stared ahead. Maybe Aragorn was scared too. "Still want me in the cave?"

Aragorn breathed out slowly, staring out into the darkening evening, across the plains. "I would have you safe, yes, as I would have us all."

We watched the soldiers rush past, shouting, the warmth of the sunrise fading into a dark grey night, the clouds creeping over the sky. Aragorn stared at his feet, mood heavy, breathing out slowly.

"There's going to be something. During the fight." I said quietly.

"What?"

I described the orc and the metal ball. As Aragorn listened, his attention on me, I added, "It'll break the wall down. The stone. Like a firework but... well, it's big enough to tear apart that wall down there. If you can kill him..."

"I will look for him." Aragorn responded softly. "I will tell Legolas."

"Thanks." I was glad I didn't have to ask him to do that. "Not in the mood to talk to him."

"He would have you return with him to Mirkwood, Wenduin. Death is not something he has learnt to accept yet." Aragorn said softly. "Elves are frustrated by the faster world of men. They have long kept apart, their world and ours, because of it."

"Yeah." I agreed quietly, staring up. "We're on fast forward and they're on slow motion."

Aragorn nodded, staring back down. He probably didn't get what I'd said, exactly, but he must have understood the 'fast and slow' concept.

"Sit with me a while, Wenduin." He said finally. "As I think."

It grew dark as we sat there, we accepted a few slices of bread, watching as men, boys, and elderly men came out with weapons and armour, half the time not fitting properly, or old, or broken. A boy stopped close by the fire near us, his face pale and haunted as he stared at the old blade, uncertain.

"Give me your sword."

The boy came to us, slowly, as if he wasn't sure if Aragorn was talking to him. Aragorn took it slowly, inspecting it, every little nick, scratch, holding it.

"What is your name?"

"Haleth, son of Háma, my lord." His name made me jump, a tiny bit, which he hadn't noticed. Hamas' son. Guilt dogged at me. I didn't know this. I didn't remember this. I stared at him, as he stared at Aragorn, almost desperate. "The men are saying we will not live out the night. They say that it is hopeless."

Aragorn didn't answer straight away. He stood, slowly, and swept the blade through the air, "This is a good sword." He slid it back into Haleth's hand, a hand on his shoulder as he bent down to speak. " Haleth, son of Háma…there is always hope."

I smiled weakly, as Haleth glanced at me, nodding.

"Come." Aragorn pulled me to my feet.

I followed him into the armoury, as he dressed, helping him with the buckles on his wrist guards, heart starting to thud harder. This was serious.

"Brave, Wenduin."

"I should-" I hesitated, as I stared at another wrist guard. At a dagger. At Aragorn's sword. I wanted to fight.

"No."

Yeah, yeah. I sighed, stepping back, Aragorn finishing off his dressing on his own.

Aragorn grasped for his sword, only for it to be handed to him, Legolas magically appearing as he usually did. This time, I didn't feel joy at the sight of him, I stared at the armour he wore and just felt... let down. Really let down.

"We have trusted you this far. You have not led us astray. Forgive me. I was wrong to despair."

"Ú-moe edaved, Legolas."

I stood back a bit as they put their hands on their shoulders, Gimli, moving past me, struggling with a chain mail shirt.

"We had time, I'd get this adjusted." He managed to get it down, the entire thing dangling on the ground, and Gimli grunted. "It's a little tight across the chest."

Legolas smiled at Gimli, as Gimli tried to get his arms down, and then met my eyes. I couldn't look at him. I turned away, heading for the door, leaving the three of them. I felt left out and hurt. It was stupid. I was here too.

Breathing slowly, I shut my eyes, and tried to ready myself to go into the cave. Like a good girl. Then later I'd shove the elf into the doghouse and leave him there.

A horn echoed, suddenly, all around the keep.

"That is no Orc horn." Legolas jumped, moving past me in a hurry, his attention somewhere else. Okay, okay, he and I both knew that this was an Elf horn and that was awesome, but it kind of irked me that Legolas didn't seem to get how much deep shit he was in right now with me.

"Find the King!" A shout, excitement rippling throughout the keep, feet pounding on the stone outside.

"Come on." Aragorn grasped my arm and we ran out too, heading for the front gate, his energy lifting.

We rushed down, I grabbed the skirt so I didn't trip, following close after Aragorn. Over a hundred Elves. Elves?

I froze at the top of the stairs, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli rushing down ahead of me, staring at them. Elves. Elves at Helm's Deep. Somehow, I knew this wasn't meant to happen, and yet here it was.

Or was it?

It was these two conflicting things in my head. Somehow, I knew Elves weren't supposed to be here, that this was 'humans only'. A victory of men alone. But I could SEE Elves in Helm's deep. I knew of two separate possibilities at this moment. And here they were. Choosing one.

Haldir stepped forward and I felt dizzy suddenly, as he stood there, once again seeing what I had seen in Lothlorien. His death. He wasn't meant to come here, no Elf was besides Legolas, and yet they had come. And now they would all die. Every single last one of them.

I suddenly wanted to vomit.

They spoke further down, the group of them there, as I leaned against the edge of the wall, legs weak. The Elves turned, suddenly, to King Theoden and Aragorn. I couldn't look at it. At these Elves who would die. It made me feel sick.

I turned, heading back up the stairs, thoughts of … I didn't know, sneaking into this fight dressed as a man or something. Would that change it? Who knew.

Something barrelled into me from behind, grabbing me, lifting me up. Panic flooded through me as arms lifted me up, hugging me hard.

"Wenduin!" Boromir's voice, sending a thrill of anxiety and relief, a funny mix, echoing as he spun me around. "I thought you were dead!"

I stared at him as he stood, his face in a wide smile. Alive. He really was alive then. I'd changed one thing, saved one life. I tried to smile, as he released me, tried to relax. He must have noticed how tense I'd gotten because I saw that flash of regret and hesitation on his face. Guilt. It was still tearing him up. Somehow, now that I knew he was alive, I... was glad to see it. Glad to see he was still ...guilty. Was that wrong of me? I didn't know.

Legolas caught my attention, glancing back up at both of us, his stare only for a few seconds but it felt like a very long time. I tried to re-focus on Boromir as he stood back, staring at me head to toe, hand still on my arm.

Boromir was under an elven hood, half hidden, but obvious to me. He looked terrible. Clean, yes, but exhausted, pale, and stiff, the edge of a white bandage still viable underneath the dark red shirt. No armour. It was the first time I'd really seen Boromir without it. And when he breathed, he tensed, as if the movement of his lungs caused him pain. And he had shaved off his beard. What a bizarre sight... he looked as clean faced as the elves did.

"Are you not preparing for battle, Wenduin? Where is your armour?" He asked, as he met my eyes, glancing back over his shoulder at the other.

"I was going to ask you the same thing." I responded. "I-"

I didn't get a chance to explain though. Theodan was coming back up, Aragorn beside him, and Aragorn said softly to us, "Let us speak of this in a quieter space."

Boromir shut his mouth, as if he was about to say something, and said softly, "Yes, agreed."

"Legolas, speak to Haldir of our plans." Aragorn called, glancing back at Legolas, who nodded sharply and turned back to his kin.

In the keep, Theodan led us into a quieter place, Gamling hurrying to join us. Only there did Boromir lower his hood, and then only briefly, reignition flashing across Theodan's face.

"Boromir of Gondor, son of Denethor." He reached out, clasping Boromir's arm. "Your face is one I am glad to see."

"As is yours, Theodan King." Boromir responded. "But I am not here to fight." Disappointment flashed across Theodan's face, Boromir hurriedly continuing, "I am wounded still and can not lift a sword. Yet. The Elves tell me it will not be long. But I came to offer different assistance, if you so allowed it. I have long defended my people against Orc and now faced their new creature, Uruk Hai. If you would allow it, I would stand beside you, and offer what wisdom I have."

"Would you command men, under my name, from my side as long as this battle continues?" Theodan asked softly.

"I would, my lord." Boromir's eyes grazed over Aragorn, warmth in his face, and bowed his head. "As I would serve my own king, I will serve you faithfully, until every last creature is dead at the walls."

So, wait. He was injured, and he was still allowed to be out here? Okay, not fighting, but still...

"But I must not be known as Boromir." Boromir's words surprised Theodan, he blinked at him. "For I am dead, for now, and my father must think so."

"It is a shame. By your name alone my men would be encouraged. " Theodan nodded, patting his shoulder, squeezing it and releasing it. "It will be as you say. I must return to the walls. We will speak further soon."

Gamling hesitated, as Theodan strode off, his eyes meeting mine. "You must go to the caves soon, Lady Wenduin. We will seal them off." He hurried after his king.

"The caves?" Boromir asked, raising his hood again.

"Wenduin will be in the caves for this." Aragorn explained softly. When he reached out to pat my shoulder I flinched and drew away. "So that we may be focused."

Focused. Once, Boromir had said something like that, accused me of being too badly trained to be of any use except as a warrior. But to my disbelief now, when he turned to me, there was only surprise. "Are you still injured?"

"No, but I'm a woman." I muttered, crossing my arms, trying to not feel bitter or over-emotional. "So... off to the caves with me."

"You are exhausted, Wenduin."

"So are you." I was sure we'd had this exact argument hours ago, Aragorn sighing, looking as tired as he probably felt. "Aragorn, this-"

"We are not abandoning you, nor denying your skills." Aragorn was trying to reassure me. "I call you my sister so that you may always be with us freely. But this time..."

"You don't want to worry about protecting me."

Aragorn nodded. Boromir didn't seem as convinced.

"I said I'd go." Or I'd decided it. I swallowed down the bitter anger and added, "But this is the only time you can order me to not fight. The next time, I make up my own mind. I know the danger of this as much as you."

"I know." Aragorn moved away, slowly, "And I will see you when it is done."

"Yeah, yeah."

Boromir and I watched him hurry off, before Boromir moved closer. He sat beside me, breathing out slowly, as if just standing was an effort for him.

"How badly are you hurt?" I asked quietly, sitting beside him, his hand coming across to grasp mine on my knee.

"There were a few arrows. The medicine of the Elves has sped the healing but I am not to fight. Much." Boromir continued, "I seem to be in debt to you."

"Not really."

"No." He cut me off. "I am. My actions towards you were... unforgivable, and yet, you saved my life. The Lady Galadriel told me that you were right. I should have died." Boromir stared down at the ground, face haunted now under the hood, the pale skin only adding to the effect. "You saved my life and then, she had Elves come to bring me so that I would not bleed to death. I believed you had died to save me."

He stared at my hand, in his, adding in disbelief, "Even now, you allow me to touch you."

"I told you." I muttered, staring at our hands. "It wasn't you. It was that evil thing."

Boromir nodded, squeezing my hand. "Were you … hurt? In the way I did?"

"No."

"I will pretend as if you were." Boromir met my eyes. "So that I may think clearer. So that I may kill Uruk Hai."

"Thought you weren't meant to fight?"

He shrugged, not answering, gazing up.

"I'd tell you to not fight but..." I gritted my teeth as I felt my own anger, at my own order to 'hide like a good woman'. "...well, it's your body. And I know how stupid it is r tell someone to not fight when they want to."

"You want to fight?"

"I don't understand why women aren't apart of this as well, that's all." I responded. We went quiet, as people rushed past with basketful of cloth, Eowyn running backwards and forwards. "They're so short on numbers and some of the people fighting are too old or young, women would be as good as them, even better... never get between a woman and her child."

This reminded me of something. Something which, suddenly, I wanted to tell Boromir. Was it bad to tell him the future? Probably. It was his next words that more or less decided that though.

"That attitude of yours, Wenduin, was why I would have happily had you marry Faramir." Boromir's smile appeared, slightly sad, as he stared forward. "I have not met a woman who would stand beside her man in battle."

"If I tell you something, would you swear to not tell anyone? And understand that... it may not happen? I mean, it probably would, but..." I met Boromir's eyes as he raised one eyebrow. "But if you spoke of it, it might change it, or if you tried to help it, or..."

"My actions would change this mystery that you are so keen to tell me about?"

I nodded.

"I will not utter a word of it, until I am given permission to by you." Boromir raised his hand to his heart, thumping it gently, cringing slightly. "I would swear on my debt to you."

Eowyn rushed past, face determined, heading for her uncle. One last attempt at staying out? Who knew.

"You see her?" I said softly, to Boromir, shifting closer. He actually flinched as our legs touched. He nodded, and I continued, "She is Eowyn, the shield-maiden of Rohan, as good a warrior as any man here. Niece of Theodan. Amazing singer."

"What of her?"

"She loves Aragorn, for now, but..." I smiled, voice growing softer still, Boromir on my every word. "You cannot speak of this... I don't know if it's even the right thing, to tell you the future, but-"

"What?"

"One day, she will be your brother's wife, the woman and the warrior. Exactly what you wanted for him."

Boromir went quiet, watching as she rushed past, her face dark, clearly having been told to head to the cave. He opened his mouth, as she suddenly noticed me sitting there, and headed straight for me. Uh oh.

"Wenduin, we are to be in the caves now."

"Now?"

She nodded, I groaned, shutting my eyes.

"Let me speak to her a minute more." Boromir spoke up, his voice surprisingly quiet, adding, "She saved my life."

"If the doors shut, and you are not there, I am not responsible." Eowyn moved away, quickly.

Boromir watched her go Was that awe on his face? Something, that was for sure, something like wonder or awe or something good. He breathed out slowly. "She is-"

"Don't speak of it, no matter what."

"I swear to it." He responded quietly. "She is beautiful."

"Amazing fighter too." I nodded, standing. I sighed. "Off to the caves like a good girl, I suppose... where's your beard?"

"Lord Haldir thought I should appear more as an Elf, than a man, until it was time for the Captain to return to Gondor... with the hood, and no beard, I am no different." Except, I thought quietly, Boromir was bigger and bulkier than most Elves. Boromir reached up, self-concious, and I swore I actually saw him flush. The man looked ten years younger without it. "It will grow back."

"Yeah, it will." I shut my eyes as Haldir's eyes flashed through my head, and once again, his death.

"You do not wish to hide, do you?"

"It scares the fucking crap out of me..." I muttered, Boromir's laugh an answer, "But..."

Boromir clasped a hand over my mouth, laughing, shaking his head. "Your language, my Lady, is terrible. Terrible. You must change it. But-" Something was dunked over my head, suddenly, and I felt a cloak. Not his, he still had it on, but someone. I hoped it wasn't Theodan's. Stealing from the king, bad idea. Boromir started towards where we'd seen people come and go with weapons, and glanced back. "Come."

I followed him, curious, and we headed into the armoury once more. To my surprise, he went inside, pushed me into a now empty storeroom, and smiled. "Now, you wait for me here."

Here? Alone? Anxiety drummed up, but Boromir vanished, without even touching me. When he returned, he stood in the doorway, dropping things. Armour. Clothing.

Softly, he said, "No man will see your face in the darkness or know you are there. Do not speak, and Legolas will not hear you. I will not give you away. Do not swear as you do either, woman." He had a trace of humour there, throwing a pair of glove things at me, shaking his head. "For that too will gather attention. I know men who are better speakers than you."

"You aren't afraid for me?"

Boromir hesitated, as he held out the helm, and he said quietly, "To be truthful, I am. But I am afraid for us all. One more sword, one more bow, and your vision of the future. Stay close to me away from the front line of the battle. If we need retreat, for I cannot fight, you must come."

"I promise... I mean, swear." I added, "I'll watch your back till you have to retreat. I'd rather be apart of it, than nothing at all."

Boromir nodded. He turned, shutting the door as he did, "I will ask for one helm and one cloak of the Elves for you. I will not be long."

I thought they might notice someone wearing battered Rohan armour, and an Elvish cloak, but he was already gone and I dressed quickly, tugging on the heavy leather thing. It was thin, clearly not 'heavy armour', but it was heavier than I was used to. Oh well. It was a bit like the one Legolas had been wearing and didn't really fit that well... but I could move my arms, and it didn't really matter if it was tight in places.

When he returned, I had to ask for help, and Boromir moved quickly, tugging buckles, but... he wasn't like he had been when Frodo had been with us. He didn't touch, he didn't stare, however affectionate his face was.

"The caves are now sealed." He informed me softly, tugging the helm over my head, hands tugging my hair back out of the way. "You are here."

I felt relieved and fear all at once, reaching up to adjust it, as the cloak was offered. When I glanced in the mirror nearby, who knew WHY an armoury needed one, he was right. Unless someone looked closer, it was hard to tell, and the cloak more or less hid the armour in the darkness.

"Haldir knows." Boromir added. "I had to tell him, so that he did not order you. But he does not disagree. There are women amongst the Elves here. I told him your feelings and he-" He actually smiled then. "- agreed with your logic. But it is not for us to tell the King what to do."

I nodded. Hesitated. I was really in this. Really doing this. I breathed in, slowly, and out, trying to squash the panic. No one here felt any better than I did. There were children out there holding swords about to see more Uruk Hai than they had men. Ten thousand people to me wasn't so surprising, I reminded myself, but to people from here? Even the cities didn't hold that many men yet.

"Right. Let's ...get out there and kill a few hundred Uruk Hai." I breathed in, once more, trying draw in as much strength as possible.

Boromir shut the door though, locking it, and leaned against it. Locking us in. Blocking me in. I tried to remind myself the logic that had been easy before, that I wanted him to live, that I wanted to trust him, that I …

But now, I just felt panic, and I tried to squash the urge to dart backwards, or kick him in the balls. I didn't really want to be alone with him like this in such a small space.

Boromir was distracted though, he wasn't looking at me, he was staring past into nothing. "Is that why you rejected my brother? You knew of her?"

"Huh?" It took me a moment to get what he was thinking. Was he still thinking about her? I supposed it was pretty big news... "Well, no, but... I knew it wasn't me. Somehow. And anyway, I really would only marry for love, I don't get the idea of telling someone who to marry."

"My father and mother were arranged. But he loved her. Loved her more than he loved himself." Boromir rested down on a stool, heavily, partly to do with his wounds, but mostly... he needed to. He reached out to pick up some armour, tugging the cloak off, and ignored me as he tried to pull it on. When I reached forward, he held up a hand. "No, let me. I have been doing this on my own since I was a boy."

"She died with Faramir..."

Boromir nodded. He tugged the chain mail shirt over his head, slowly moving his arms, as if it pained him. But there was pain that probably wasn't related to this. "Sometimes it works. That kind of love. Respect turns to friendship, and then to love. My father loved her and when she died, he lost his heart with her. I understand now. No longer can I be angry with him for his resentment towards Faramir, for I understand."

I wasn't really sure where he was going with this.

"I swore to never marry until I saw Faramir loved. But you have shown me who will love him. So..." Boromir stared up. Uh oh. Now I thought I got it. "Would you marry me instead?"

That was all kind of wrong and I gaped at him, not sure what the hell to say. I had all these words come up. Mostly related to swearing. Rude things. I wasn't sure why it repulsed me so much. Marry him? After what had happened? I couldn't even picture saying yes without feeling like I wanted to run screaming, kick Boromir in the balls, and run away appologising as I reaffirmed that I would NEVER marry him. My entire body had tensed.

Apparently all that wasn't important. All I had to do was hesitate.

"Do you not care for me?"

His words provoked that old fear again, that old hesitation and anxiety about being alone with him, and I vaugely remembered him asking this then. When he'd done... that. Warning bells started to ring in my head as I tried to not panic. Tried to stay calm. Boromir wasn't crazy right now. His eyes were clear, he wasn't shaking, and I tried to speak without betraying what fear those few words had triggered. "As a friend, Boromir, and I... I'm sorry, but..." I couldn't believe he had even asked. It hurt to reject him, because I saw the pain on his face, but it repulsed me. Being married to him. After that. "I can't marry you." And Legolas. I grasped the leaf, suddenly, feeling really dizzy.

"I did not think so, Wenduin. After the way I hurt you, I... do not believe I deserve that kind of joy. I would not abandon you with child, though, if it comes to that. I would not shame you with my evil." Boromir stood up slowly. He grasped a belt with a sword, pulling it around his hips, eyes down. "I would be honoured by your friendship." He met my eyes, a sad smile there, a tired smile that made him look far older than he actually was.

Then he saw the leaf and he paled.

"I did not see that. How long have you..."

"What?" I glanced down at the gift Legolas had given me and tucked it away. "I don't know. Lothlorien."

"I never saw it. Never. How could I miss it?"

I didn't get why he was so worked up about this. "I suppose you weren't looking at my jewellery..."

"You were betrothed, already, and I ..." Oh god, there it was again, the guilt, the anguish, and for a moment I saw his father in his face, saw that strange grief and madness. Boromir turned away. "I swore to you that I would accept the law of my people for that. And I will." He reached for the door, face white where I could see it. "Come."

"Hang on, Boromir." I grabbed the handle and shoved it shut, ignoring a startled older man as he rushed past. "Hang on. Firstly, betrothed? I don't think I'm that. Secondly, I don't want you to ...waste your life away, or go mad, or something." He stared at me as if I was mad when I said that, but I continued, "I mean, yeah. If you need to go to prison for a while or something, if that is what you feel is the right punishment, fine, but... I didn't save your life so you'd suffer with it. Find a woman, make babies, grow old and tell your grandchildren about these adventures. That kind of thing."

He didn't answer for a very long time. Things flashed across his face, all kinds of things, as if what I'd said had really triggered a lot of deep shit for him. Boromir slumped back down and stared up at me. "You would have me ...be happy?"

"Yes. For fuck's sake, yes. Look at what grief did to your father." I knew it was weird, me talking about a man I hadn't met, but I could see it. See the madness. "Just be happy. I don't blame you. It was-"

"I know. It was the ring." For once I didn't see his usual 'flinch' or 'blink' to swearing.

"Yeah, trying to break apart the Fellowship, trying to make it fail so that it'd survive. That thing's horrible. I used to dream about strangling Frodo, you know..." I hadn't told this to anyone before.

Boromir breathed out slowly at that. "You did?"

"Yeah." I sat down beside him. "Well, a lot of things, a lot of things about violence, and the urge to take it, and power, and... I guess, the more I felt it, the more sickened I was by it. But I don't have the safety of a city resting on my shoulders, do I? It wasn't like I needed the power. If I loved something and it was in danger, I might have ...been a lot more tempted. Also..." I added, quickly, reminding him, "You weren't meant to come. Your brother felt the urge to come. Anyway, it happened the way it had to. Your role was perfect."

He sighed again, shutting his eyes, a release of air that I suspected was a lot more than just about oxygen. "I tried to take the ring. Now, Frodo and Sam walk alone, and-"

"They're doing what they were meant to do." God, I wanted to tell him the ending, I wanted to tell him it'd be okay. Instead I had to say something else. "And Pippin and Merry have woken the Ents, we saved Theodan from Saruman, we're here to help Rohan defend itself, so... we just have to accept it. Things don't go as planned all the time but that doesn't mean it won't work."

"Will they succeed?" His question was soft, just a exhale of words, like he couldn't completely bring himself to ask. As if the question scared him. "Or will this be for nothing?"

"I don't know. I just know it's going the way it has to. That's got to be a good sign, right?" I had to lie. I grasped his hand and this time it was Boromir's turn to flinch. "And right now, we've got to defend Rohan."

"If the Lady Eowyn meets Faramir, then ..." He sat up slowly, inhaling once more a deep breath, and this one seemed to give him strength. I could see Boromir putting the pieces together in his head. "If she escapes this place, if she is meant to marry him, then ...perhaps this fight is not lost."

"It hasn't even started. But... okay, I did see it. One possibility. That we'd win. Yes. Okay. We might also be crushed under stampeding Uruk Hai boots, Boromir, so we need to..."

"Defend them."

I nodded as I patted his hand. Boromir was breathing in and out again, deep breaths, grief fading. He must have been squashing it down. Slowly, he tried to smile, and he stood. "Then, come. I would not allow you to die now. I would see you marry as well. I have always wondered how Elves conduct such a ceremony. You must invite me."

Elves? The word 'betrothal' slapped me in the head, but I was tugged up, Boromir clasping his cloak around him again.

This necklace. It was an engagement thing. I stared down at it. Yes, okay, maybe this was obvious to most people. I'd only just realised.

"And I will invite you to my wedding, Wenduin. Let's go."

"Remember," I said as he moved to open the door, "I told you to cheer you up but ... no one else can know Faramir will marry Eowyn. If sh-"

Eowyn stared at me, face white, right on the other side of the door. I knew it, from the look in her face, knew that she'd heard it.

Oh shit. Oh shit. I should have kept my mouth shut.