We sat side by side at the table and ate dinner; I was pretty sure he felt as strange as I did at a table. He did buy it though so we may as well get some use out of it. My laptop was open and we were searching for apartments since I managed to convince him that Judith wasn't going to be of any help. Jon said we could always find another person to help but I figured there was no harm in looking on our own. There was plenty of listings out there but the problem was finding something we would both like. Everything seemed either too fancy or just too much of a dump. Thankfully Jon and I were on the same page and agreed we would just be happy with something ordinary. Almost every listing had pictures posted so we could get a good idea of what every place looked like. Jon chewed loudly in my ear, I took that as approval that he was enjoying the roast.
"You like it?" I looked over at him as I asked him.
"Yea its great" He said with a already full mouth as he proceeded to shove another bite in his mouth.
"I could tell your barely chewing." I laughed.
"Sorry I'm hungry" he shrugged. I just smiled as I reached over and rested my hand on his thigh. He smiled at back as he grabbed another roll before I went back to staring at computer screen.
"Have you seen anything you like yet?"
"Yeah I did but you're not willing to let me have it now." He joked "You told me I have to wait till later."
"Jon, I meant apartments" I shook my head. "Seriously"
"I really don't care Becca, you will be spending more time there than I will." He said as he got up putting his plate into the sink.
"No Jon we are not going to do this, I am not picking a place by myself." I announced out loud.
"I am sure anything you pick would be fine." He shrugged as he walked over to the fridge opening the door and looking inside.
"Jon, I want you to help me pick it out, if you don't then I am not even going to look anymore." I said
"Fine let's finish looking then." He sighed as he threw himself into the chair next me setting down his beer heavily on the table.
After I made Jon look at about 6 more listings I looked over at him. He was slouched over in the chair swirling his beer around, staring lazily at the bottle. He had a blank stare n his face and I could tell he was bored out of his mind. Not to mention the fact that I was becoming annoyed with hearing anything I asked him being answered with yup and uh huh. He obviously wasn't interested and I wasn't going to force him to look at any more. He seemed all too eager to get out of the apartment he was in now until it came down to him having to be involved in the search for one. I stood up grabbing my plate and headed to the sink. I glanced back over at him, he was so lost in thought I don't even think he noticed. I walked back over to the table and I turned the chair to face him before I sat down. He finally looked up at me, those blue eyes looking empty and devoid of their brightness. I reached over grabbing his free hand as I leaned in and kissed him gently, he returned the kiss and as I pulled away I saw a slight smile cross his lips. I reached up and pushed the hair out of his eyes.
"Are you sure you're okay babe?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." This time I could tell his smile wasn't at all real. I hated seeing him like this. I honestly wasn't sure what I could do; I just didn't want to see him hurting. I wished he would talk to me but it wasn't going to be so simple. I leaned over quickly kissing him once more before I stood up and headed over to the fridge. I opened up the door and reached inside grabbing a soda and looking over at Jon before I asked him "Do you want another beer?" I smiled. If there was one thing I knew for sure it was that drunken people are inclined to talk. It was sort of an underhanded trick but it was the only one I had. Jon shook his head and I grabbed a beer handing it to him, as I walked over to the cabinet and grabbed the bottle of jack down from the shelf. Once I grabbed the shot glass I walked back over to the table setting the bottle down and placing the glass in front of Jon.
"You want a shot babe?"
"Sure" he smiled. "But don't get too drunk, princess I have plans for you."
"I won't babe, besides I have plans for you too" I smiled. I already felt horrible but I had to get him to open up somehow.
Jon was already through about six beers and probably close to ten shots I wasn't sure because I stopped counting. I didn't set out to get myself drunk but I could already feel some of the effects from my six shots and four twisted teas that I managed to consume. I had totally abandoned my plan and had just decided I would work on finding out about the mysterious dream another night. Jon was actually having fun and so was I. Besides I didn't want to ruin the last night I was going to have with him for awhile. The very minute I thought that my heart sank; I had to quickly push it out of my mind before I wound up in tears. What was I ever going to do without him? Jon was busy telling me some story about his first WWE tryout and even though I was listening at first, I kind of lost track of the last few minutes. I forced myself to pay attention and plastered a smile across my face. He went on for a little while longer then stopped.
"What's on your mind?" He asked as he reached over and ran his thumb down my cheek to my chin.
"Nothing baby" I tried to fake another smile, but I was pretty sure he was on to me. He appeared to study me for a moment. As he looked at me I could all the sudden see a look of recognition cross his face He grabbed me and pulled me against him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me so tight I wasn't able to move so I just buried myself into his chest.
"I'm going to miss you too, princess" he softly whispered out. I fought back the tears but a few escaped and I was glad he didn't notice. I tried to calm myself quickly and reminded myself that he wasn't gone yet, tomorrow is not now.
When he finally eased his grip on me, I looked up at him placing my lips against his softly. When I pulled away I placed my hands on either side of his face, making him look at me.
"I am going to miss you like crazy." I told him before I leaned back in gently kissing him once again.
As I pulled away I shook my head trying to clear my mind once again. Grabbing the bottle and pouring another shot, bringing it up to my lips and swallowing it down quickly. I looked over at Jon, he had a stunned look on his face. I couldn't help but I couldn't help but return his look with one of confusion. He grabbed the bottle of Jack of the table placing it to his lips taking a huge swig and then another. We sat there in silence for a moment and I watched him, studying him, trying to read his thoughts. He placed the bottle to his lips once again taking another hug sip and swallowing hard. I finished my drink and set the empty bottle on the table, looking over at Jon as his hand was still wrapped around the neck of the bottle of JD as he went to unsteadily raise it to his lips again, I placed my hand on his arm stopping him.
"Come on baby, let's go to bed." I stood up looking back at him and he was taking another swig of JD again. "Let's go babe." I was hoping he would stand up.
"I'll be in soon." He sighed out as he briefly glanced up at me. I turned away and made my way into the bedroom. I didn't bother to turn on the bedroom light. The light from the hallway was bright enough to light the room. As I slipped out of my pants and threw them into the pile in the corner I could see his shadow appear on the wall. He just stood there in the doorway; I reached up unclasping my bra through my t-shirt. I could see him approaching me he was a bit unsteady as he fumbled with his shirt. Once he reached me he grabbed at my shirt and slipped it off, pulling at my bra as well and throwing it to the floor. I turned around to look at him battling with his belt trying to unfasten it. I took over and helped one his belt was undone he struggled with his jeans a second before they fell to the floor. He just stood there as I sat on the bed.
"I don't want to sleep tonight" he mumbled out. As I had attempted to get comfortable on the bed. I patted the bed beside me.
"Come here baby, we don't have to sleep." I said gently "we can just stay up." He slowly climbed into bed next to me and I wrapped an arm around him encouraging him to get closer.
"Becca" he sighed then hesitated a moment before he said the rest. "When I get back you're still going to be here right?" I was taken aback by the questioned and he looked over at me propping himself up on his elbow.
"Of course I am." I said quickly trying to sound as convincing as possible, because I meant it.
He leaned over and rested his body halfway across mine. He looked into my eyes and his face was only inches from mine.
"You're not leaving?" He asked quietly.
"Of course I am not" I said as I shook my head. He seemed to think about it for a moment then he said.
"Good" Biting his bottom lip he looked down at me once again, staring at me. Before releasing his lip and letting words softly escape his lips "I love you."
Okay, Okay,Okay…. He said it. It had to happen sooner or later and even though I planned it to happen later it felt right now. He may not have opened up to her about the dream but he did open up to her in a huge way with those three little words. Thank you for all the reviews and I hope you all liked this chapter 22 hours of no sleep and my brain doesn't always come up with my best material. Oh well, I just couldn't sleep till I updated this.