Another Life

by Corinder

When 'Wendy', an overweight girl with self-esteem issues, is offered another chance somewhere else, or drown, she takes the 'other chance' and wakes up, no memories, dragged into an adventure that she was never supposed to be apart of. This isn't as simple as it seems... whoever said Middle Earth in the middle of a war was going to be fun?

20. Weight

Boromir had stabbed me.

Or had Legolas done it?

It hurt to breathe. I felt pain, sort of, but strangely enough I was more aware of everything else. The blood running down, staining everything, Legolas sitting half-upright in front of me with his face so pale that I might have thought he'd been the one wounded. Stabbed. Boromir behind me. That was why I was sitting up still- I knew he was hanging onto me, I knew his hand was clasped onto my side. He was shouting things. Things that were muffled and far away.

Legolas just sat there, red splattered on him, in complete shock. Anger behind me. Shock in front. And the sound of my own heart pounding in my ears.

Not to mention the weird sense of drowning. Like the river. I was drowning. And I couldn't open my mouth to tell him.

"Wake up, woman. Elf."

A face was hovering over us.

I nearly punched Boromir, eyes flying open, still gasping for air. I grasped for the space in my side, grasped for where I had been stabbed, but I found nothing there. Legolas was awake, sitting there, looking pale. Almost sitting in the exact same position he had been before when he'd been...

But I wasn't stabbed. I wasn't even slightly in pain. Had it been another of those fucking dreams?

I was confused, panting, staring at Legolas. It took him some time to really see me, or to see Boromir, he was as much in shock here as he had been before. His grey eyes kept sliding from myself to Boromir, like he was struggling to really see us, and when he finally snapepd into reality, his entire body tensed like a coiled wire and sprung at Boromir with more rage than I could have ever believed from the usually contained Elf. Fingers actually grasped around Boromir's throat, shoving him back from the bed, Legolas only letting go when he'd slammed Boromir against the door itself. "Boromir, this is Wenduin's room."

"And you both are to be at the feast." Boromir responded, standing, arms on hips. "Both of you. I have been given clear orders to retrieve you."

"Wenduin's leg needs rest."

To Legolas' annoyance, Boromir actually pushed past him to my side, not even bothering to hide the fact that he'd just shoved Legolas aside. He grabbed the blankets, eyes darting to my side and then down to my leg, ignoring my attempts at kicking him with my good leg.

"Hey, calm down. It's just sprained." I shoved him back but I wasn't as angry as Legolas was. He almost seemed to have lost it somewhat. Shock and anger kept flickering, his brow slippery with sweat, it was probably taking all of his self-control to not throw Boromir over the balcony right now.

So we must have shared the dream. Somehow I knew it. Legolas wouldn't have been so upset otherwise.

He stepped forward, grasping Boromir's shoulder, and more or less dragged him back again so I could cover my leg with the blankets.

Boromir had looked at my side though. Where I had been stabbed. "You saw it too?"

"Saw what?" Boromir dropped my grey cloak from Lothlorien around my shoulders, eyes off anything below my chin, so clearly he wasn't completely insensitive. Just mostly. He crossed his arms. "You both seemed to be having a bad dream."

"Is that why you entered without knocking?"

"I did knock. I shouted. I pretended to open the door. I opened the door. I sat on your bed. I stood on your bed. I jumped. Only lifting Wenduin to sitting did I wake her." Boromir listed these things off on his fingers. But, for all his charm and easy joking, his eyes were fixed on both of us. He wasn't kidding- I could see boot prints on the bed. "What is the matter with the two of you?"

The surprising thing, I realised, was that for once Boromir wasn't doing his usual invasive ...stare. Thing. Here I was, sitting with my boobs all unbound and stuff, and he wasn't even pretending to try and get a look through the shirt. Yes, he was joking around, but even his eyes were distant. Either he'd seen it too, which I doubted, or he was as surprise by Legolas loosing it as I was.

Legolas stood there, arms crossed, still pale. He couldn't look at me. I knew without asking that we'd shared it. What the hell kind of dream was that? Stabbing? It had felt real. I'd felt it. He stared at my side, flexing his hands, eyes still somewhat unfocused. He wanted to get out of here but not with Boromir staying. Funny. I'd gone telepathic or something to his anger. Maybe that was just common sense.

"Are you both all right?" Boromir's smile faded. He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall, concern bringing out the lines in his face.

"Good. I need to change though. Legolas, it's okay."

I didn't know. I was confused. Legolas didn't answer, didn't even look at me, he picked up his pack and started to dress in the silver tunic. The second he'd changed, he was out the door, his true mask covering his emotions. Even I couldn't see past it.

"What happened, Wenduin?"

"I don't know." I muttered. As if we needed anything else crappy right now. Legolas was having a hard enough time dealing with my injured leg. Was that it? Was this his fears, his nightmares, that I'd been involved in? At some point in the past he'd actually told me he'd join me in my dreams. What if I'd seen something of his?

Now that I was calming down, now that I was relaxing, I started to wonder if that was it. He had said he dreamed or seen my death a lot. I just hadn't... hadn't really thought about what that had meant for Legolas. What he had to witness again and again, in all different ways, and the latest? Somehow Boromir was involved. I still wasn't sure how the hell it had happened.

Boromir moved to the balcony and stood there. He was probably watching Legolas leave.

Now that the nightmare was fading, I had to guess that was what I'd just witnessed, this terrible raw fear that he was trying to hide. I'd had a dream about dying in front of him once before. I had to assume that this was similar. I had to let it go. Or something.

"I don't think he's coping well with my injuries." I muttered, quietly, standing up slowly. Now I couldn't even put weight on that leg. Boromir twisted around to watch me as I grasped for the walking stick and though he didn't rush to help I saw the same concern. Only for him it was more open, less hidden, and he fixed his attention onto me. "I think we shared a nightmare."

"Are they that bad? Your injures?"

"It depends. I did too much today." I leaned against the stick, moving heavily for the chest of dresses, somehow okay right now with him watching me. I'd kick him out when I dressed but I didn't feel naked, not really, I was covered. "I think it'll calm down if I rest."

"No dancing tonight then." Boromir nodded slowly, moving inside, sliding the curtains shut as he entered. He started to move around the room with a little lantern he must have brought, lighting candles and lights, until the room was lit in a warm comforting glow. "Twas a dream, Wenduin, relax. Let me see the injury. I have seen much in my men."

I wished I could. I sighed and slid the blanket off my leg again. He probably had seen a lot, the man was a soldier after all, and he didn't seem the least bit interested in that mood at the moment.

He knelt in front of me, hands clasping my injured leg carefully, inspecting it carefully with an experienced eye.

"You seen a lot of these?" He might have. Captain of Gondor, and all that, probably seen all kinds of injuries.

"I have. When a blunt weapon or the hoof of an animal strikes a muscle." Boromir stood slowly. "Rest. Rest is all you can do. It has been but a short time. Do not push your body. Let it heal."

"I think Legolas thinks it's healing too slow." I muttered.

"You are not his kin. Your healing is normal. Some men do not walk straight again but most do." Boromir was actually heading for my dresses now. I watched him as he lifted them up, one by one, weighing them. "Are all dresses so heavy?"

"You know this is probably a bit too familiar? Going through my dresses?"

"I asked the Lady Eowyn but my brother threatened to cut off my head if I distracted them. They seemed to be having a discussion ." Boromir grinned. I kind of doubted he'd said that literal phrase but... He went back to the dresses. "Were you one of my soldiers, Wendy, I would insist you wear only light clothing. Why is not a single dress light!"

"You kidding? You seen how much fabric they stitch into those things?" I shifted over, one hand on the walking stick, the other keeping the cloak closed, glancing back to where Legolas had vanished. He probably hadn't gone far, still within hearing distance, and I was half tempted to call him back. Nope. Better to let him deal with it. I hoped he was okay though.

Boromir didn't answer. He was leaving a pile of dresses.

Eowyn came in, as he was getting halfway, and the look on her face when she saw him fingering my clothing was hilarious. She was gorgeous, all dressed up again, and yet when she saw him that dangerous 'warrior' expression returned. Boromir was doomed.

"Out!"

"You were busy with my br-"

"Get out, Boromir!" Wow, she was pissed, she had scrapped the lord part. Boromir seemed to love it though. His teasing face was back on as she chased him out, the twinkle back in his eye, before Eowyn turned on me. "Your leg. Is it bad?"

"It's not happy. Not the end of the world."

"Why not kick him out then? The pest." Eowyn made an exasperated sigh as she stared at the mess Boromir had left behind. "Why did he throw your dresses everywhere?"

"Your future brother in law. I think he was complaining about them being too heavy."

"Maybe he's right. Do not tell him I said s-"

"I heard you!"

Eowyn growled softly, shooting a glare at the door, as she lifted a dark brown-red dress. "Boromir-"

"I'm not coming in." I heard a thump against my door and had to guess that Boromir had just settled himself against it. "But I was told to bring her and Legolas, by Aragorn, and so I'm doing it."

Yeah, right. I met Eowyn's eyes. She smiled somewhat, standing, and moved across. "This is a lighter weight dress. It was made for you, for summer, when you were heavier with child. Stay close to the fires and you will be warm. The warmth of the fires will help your leg ease. Do not dance tonight."

I hadn't been planning on it anyway, to be perfectly honest, so I just nodded and stayed quiet.

She helped me dress, I had to lean on her, and when it was done I had to admit it was quite a bit lighter than the last lot I'd been wearing. Silkier, softer, like it was all silk. The skirt was much fuller and once Eowyn had belted me up, I could see why it'd been made for pregnancy. It was not clingy. The bodice part was only around my breasts so the skirts were free to expand as they had to. And now that I looked closer, it had gold thread through the bodice,

"During pregnancy a woman's body can become warmer. It was made for you, so that you would be comfortable during the summer heat, and so that your body could swell unhindered" Eowyn explained softly. "In Gondor it is custom to gift a pregnant woman with a dress such as this. They do not believe that a woman's stomach should be bound when she is pregnant by a tight bodice. This was a gift from the city to you. Wearing it tonight, and at the coronation, will be very appropriate."

"Good." I wanted to be that. Last thing I needed right now was to do the wrong thing. I breathed out slowly and when she slid a knife onto the belt, and into a hidden pocket thing in the skirt, I had to admit, I was pretty happy to see a weapon again. "That's probably not custom."

"No." Eowyn smiled somewhat. "Not according to the men. But the women do it anyway. No woman walks the streets alone without these. They just hide them."

"Helpless women, my ass."

She laughed, shaking her head at my curse, whacking me somewhat. "Helpless? Not often. Now sit down and let me do something with hair."

I sat down on the bed, Eowyn kneeling behind me, and sat there like a good girl as she yanked and teased knots out. Both of us ignored Boromir's attempts to get us to hurry up.

What had I dreamed?

Eowyn was twisting my hair as I sat there, probably a braid or something, getting it behind my head.

"Did you see Legolas on the way down here?"

"No. But Elves are difficult to see when they want to be." Eowyn responded. "Did you argue?"

"No. Not exactly." I held back telling her about his fears. Wasn't sure why, why I could tell Boromir and not her, maybe it just felt like I couldn't tell too many people about it. "I don't know what's happening there."

"Then do not worry about it. Men have strange moods as we do. I imagine Elves are not so different as we think." Eowyn traced her fingers over my neck, laughing softly, adding, "They bite the same."

Oh. I went red as she found one of his bite marks, twisting a little, suddenly wondering if I should put a scarf on or something. "Is it obvious?"

"No. Boromir!" Eowyn's shout matched Boromir's latest bang, sudden, and she called, "Get us a horse and cart. Wenduin should not walk up there."

"As you wish, my lady." Boromir vanished down the stairs, we listened to his heavy feet head down the stairs at a run, before Eowyn spoke again.

"Is it painful?" Her voice had dropped, soft, and I twisted around carefully to face her. Eowyn stared at me with the expression of someone afraid. Actually afraid. "That which is done between man and woman?"

That was right. She'd lost her mother young. "Has anyone talked to you about this?"

"My aunt did, once. She told me that I must lie back and trust the man." Eowyn gazed past me. She was older than me, so it was so strange to think she knew nothing, so strange to think that she had no clue about these things. "I have seen mating animals, Wenduin, and have seen the shadows of couples in the dark. I have heard it hurts."

"Only the first time." I responded quietly. Lie back and trust the man. Yeah. Like that did any good for anyone. "The first time it can be a bit painful. It was for me. But I wasn't really thinking about it. I felt too good to care."

"Good?" Eowyn didn't seem to believe me. "It feels good?"

"Why else do you think we keep doing it?" Oh man. Was I going to have to give her the sex talk? At least it was making it easy to relax about Legolas. "Of course it feels good. You know how it's done, don't you? So you know-"

"I know that the man's member enters our body where we bleed." The words made Eowyn's cheeks go a little pink. "I had heard that can hurt. It seeds our body with a child. If we are strong we may hold that child and carry it to birth."

"Yeah, if he doesn't play with you first. It gives you ...well, half a seed." How would I explain this biology? Man, I wished I'd thought to rehearse or something. "Well, uh. Strength isn't really apart of it. See- our body has a egg inside it, like a chicken, except our eggs are much too small to be seen." I explained to her the biology as simply as possible, Eowyn staring at me, adding, "So it really is chance. They do lots of their little ...seed things in that white stuff." Did she even know it was white? Oh well, she did now. "Millions. And then they all race each other up into the womb. Some get lost, some die, some go the wrong way, and by the time they reach the egg we've released, only about ten of them are remaining, and they are exhausted. So it doesn't always work and the man has to try again. Eventually one of his seeds pushes into the egg and boom. Baby is created."

"That is..."

"Hard to believe?"

"It is not what I was told." Eowyn laughed, suddenly, shaking her head. "But I prefer this story."

"They proved it. We have these things, these tools, that let us see things so small we can't see them with the eye. Like men's seed. When they invented them, these tools, they weren't very good. So men stood there staring at their own seed-" I ignored the sudden reddening of her face again, "-and it was just some blurry line. They were convinced that they could see babies swimming around. They were so sure of it and that women weren't needed at all that they planted it in dirt and waited for babies to grow."

"What!" Eowyn was laughing, her face red, but it seemed to have relaxed her somewhat. "No babies grew, of course."

"Well, of course." I laughed too and grasped her hand. "Then the tools got better and they could see what it really looked like. It did not have a baby swimming around. Anyway, it's not going to be that hard for you two. You and Faramir have already kissed, haven't you?"

"Yes." She couldn't even look me in the eye suddenly. And this was just for kissing!

"Cuddled?" Oh good god. This just made her redder. I suddenly felt like I was sitting a bit too close to her, she seemed completely stiff all of a sudden, looking less like a late twenty-something woman and more like a teenager who was caught in the back of a car with a boy. "What have you done?" When Eowyn hesitated, eyes still distant, I added quickly, "Hey, Eowyn, I'm not going to judge you. There's nothing wrong with this stuff. It's natural."

"We have spent many hours, embracing, kissing, and ..." She was still having trouble talking. It almost looked like she regretted asking at all. "And there has been some touching."

"He's touched you?" I wanted to laugh and apologise for asking all at once. Oh man. "Where?" I wished I had a doll. She could show me where he'd touched her. Maybe I had to start from the start. Oh man. How did people do this?

"My breasts and down there."

"Just say it, Eowyn, vagina." Was that what they were called here? When she flinched I wanted to groan and roll my eyes. Still, I had to admit, the word kind of made ME want to cringe. Focus, I had to focus. This was about Eowyn. "Come on, woman, we're both women here. We both have them. When he touches it, how do you feel?"

"Warmer. I did feel some pleasure at his touch." She responded quietly. Eowyn gazed at her hands. "And it gave him pleasure."

"I bet it did." The words slipped out before I could stop it.

"His finger hurt though. It broke the moment. I am …not afraid of much." I believed that. I really did. Eowyn added, "But to be naked, to be so vulnerable, I am not sure how to do it."

"You don't have to just lie there. Kiss him back. The first time hurts, a little bit, but after that it feels good." I wished I had some training. "There's ways he can pleasure you back. And that's what he's supposed to do."

"Is that what you and Legolas do?" Eowyn was quick to add, "Sorry, if-"

"Yeah. I mean, we both feel pleasure, and it's more than that. I trust him. He can be rough with me because I know he'd stop if I told him to. The bites, they hurt a little, but … I don't even notice in the moment. Only after." Now it was my turn to go red.

"I must admit, I never thought of it as being pleasurable for both." Eowyn responded. She added, "It would explain much."

"Like?"

"Like why a woman would allow a man back into her bed at all if he hurts her!" Oh yeah. There it was. Ice Maiden.

"Well, it's not like men are born knowing how to do it. I think it takes some practice. Get to know each other. But don't worry. It really will be fine. As long as he touches you, and kisses you, and makes you feel really good first, you'll barely notice it." I reached out to touch her hand. Eowyn actually flinched. "I mean it. I barely noticed it hurt until later. Our bodies, women's bodies I mean, they have ways to prepare for it too. We get wet."

The moment was really awkward now for me. But for Eowyn, it suddenly seemed to click, and her head swung to mine. "Was that what my body was doing? I did not understand... it was strange."

Oh bloody hell. Why the hell hadn't someone talked to the poor woman? "That's normal. That's how our bodies get ready. It makes the whole thing easier and it's what happens before our own bodies feel pleasure. You know men ..." God, what was the word... "They climax?"

"Yes. As I said, I know what men release, for I have seen animals mate." Eowyn responded. She shifted uncomfortably. "It seems messy."

"Yes, well, we do too. It helps make it easier for their seed to get to the egg." I wasn't sure where I'd heard that but it sounded right. "We can without feeling pleasure too, but when you feel pleasure, your body tries harder. It is a bit messy. But fun."

Eowyn sighed. She shut her eyes. " Faramir would marry me tonight, if he could, at the feast. He has asked me to become his wife in name and body."

"But he wouldn't force you to do anything. You don't have to be ready this fast." Wow. So he'd propose to her officially. No wonder why Eowyn had asked me about sex. The man hadn't even given her a few weeks to get used to the idea. I wondered... he might seem calmer than Boromir but maybe they both struggled sometimes with impulses? Who knew.

"You say that, if we do not rush, that if he touches and kisses me, that I will feel less pain?"

How crazy. Eowyn, the shield-maiden of Rohan, afraid of pain. I supposed I understood. It was pretty intimate, pretty close, letting someone in so close. Trusting them. I nodded and she squared her shoulders as if she was heading into battle.

"Then I will marry him tonight." She reached out to grasp my hand, tight, holding onto it. Eowyn actually leaned against my side, adding softer, "I may come to you in the morning."

"I'll be here. We're women. You can tell me anything. I won't judge you."

"And you, with me. Thank you. It's times like these I wish... that I miss my own mother." Eowyn breathed out slowly.

I missed mine too. The realisation made me want to cry suddenly, my eyes damp, because only now did it hit me. I didn't have a mum any more either. I hadn't had a chance to tell Legolas yet. "My mother's dead too."

"You remember something?"

"My father." The words came out on their own, words that I tried to disconnect from, words that almost didn't sound like mine. "My father did it. I wasn't living there then. He was sent to prison for it. I remembered a lot."

"Wenduin..." Eowyn grasped me tighter, holding me hard, and suddenly the tables had turned. She was the older wiser one, I was the younger, and this position did feel a hell of a lot more comfortable. "What did you remember?"

I wished Legolas was there. No sooner had I wished it, though, than I saw him. Legolas was on the balcony. I wasn't sure how he'd gotten there, wasn't sure if he'd ever left to begin with, but for a brief second his and my eyes met before he faded back into the darkness. The Elf was still connected to me.

Slowly, I told her, knowing that Legolas was hearing it as well, feeling somehow that he was comforting me even from several metres away. I swore I felt his reaction, his anger, the anger he'd felt earlier when he'd found Boromir in the room. It overshadowed his worry.

"You held all this?"

"I just forgot it. Now I'm not even sure if it's real. You, everyone, I feel like … like I made it up. This perfect life." Though, after the dream we'd just had, perfect was probably the wrong way to describe it.

"I would find you. In either world." Legolas said quietly. There was something odd in his voice. I knew him well enough to know that. We'd have to talk about it- what I'd told Eowyn and Legolas about my father- because he was not taking THIS news well. I supposed I couldn't blame him there. Legoals stepped out, slowly, and crossed the room. "Boromir and I have returned with the horses."

Eowyn must have been getting used to the Elf thing. She barely seemed surprised at all to see Legolas appear all over again. I, on the other hand, was surprised they'd both brought horses. With the anger in Legolas face earlier, how the hell had he managed to be around Boromir for one second, led alone a walk?

"Just now?" Eowyn stood up slowly, careful of my leg, but bent down to kiss my forehead. "You are with friends. Whatever you fear, share it, for it will be less of a burden. I will get Borom-"

"No need. I'm here." Boromir strode in almost on cue.

Had Boromir heard too? I wasn't sure. I doubted it, he looked pretty relaxed right now, he was pushing the door open. "The feast will start any minute. Come on, women."

"I will be with Wenduin. You and Boromir should go ahead." Legolas reached to grasp my hand, holding it gently, waiting until Eowyn agreed. It took her a while.

Slowly, we headed downstairs, watching as Eowyn and Boromir moved ahead up the street. Legolas helped me up and moved to sit beside me. He barely touched the reins before the horse pulling the cart moved. I swore I saw him whisper something.

"What did we dream?"

"A future." Legolas said quietly. He reached out to grasp my hand hard. "I think. I do not know. I am confused."

"So am I." A future. He said it so clearly, so openly, didn't even bother to hide it from me. So... "What are we going to do if that's a future? How did I get stabbed? Or was it like those dreams you have?"

"I do not remember. I woke and you were bleeding. Boromir was behind you. It was a strange dream. Perhaps nothing more than another ...fear. I will speak to Gandalf of it later." Legolas was confused too? Bad sign.

"Boromir?" How could I forget that part? "You were asleep. I don't know. One second it was all cute and then ...well, ow."

"It is not something we may chance right now." Legolas shut his eyes. He was trying to hide all the fear he'd gathered, we were getting too close to other people, but for once he was struggling. I'd never seem him struggle with control so much. But he managed as we came up onto the flat strip.

Careful of my leg, Legolas helped me down, and I followed him into the Great Hall of Minas Tirith with my walking stick. It was surprisingly difficult to walk with one while in a long dress- it took some practice.

He led me into the feast, the smile returning as Gimli came to greet us, but I suspected Gimli knew him well enough by now to know something was up. Probably everyone from the Fellowship knew from my face, I wasn't good at hiding it like Legolas and was sure it was all over my face right now, so I was relieved when Pippin came to escort me to my place in the feast without asking about my face.

I'd only just sat down when Boromir entered. And when he entered, he entered, arms open, big cocky grin back, with almost everyone's eyes going to him. Men were drawn to him straight off, shaking his hand or some male bonding thing, laughter, like he'd just turned on the charismatic aura all over again. And, although clearly he'd been dressed like this before, only now did I notice that he was in his best stuff. Hair washed.

It only occurred to me that I'd been sucked in by it too. He caught my eyes, mid-grin, and almost stumbled over his own foot. Luckily one of his 'bros' was there with booze. Boromir barely lost a step as he grasped it and went back to it.

Legolas was close too, I realised, he hadn't come sat down.

"Do you like apples?" Pippin asked me from beside me.

"Apples? Yeah."

"Here." Half an apple was put onto my plate. I looked at Pippin and saw he was really staring at me. Really hard. "Are you all right, Wendy?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You haven't talked to anyone since we got back. Well, except for Legolas. Don't you want to know what happened?"

I blinked and realised he was right. Here I was getting caught up in Legolas Boromir dramas when everyone else was here. Aragorn, who I still hadn't talked to yet, and Merry, Sam was back and hadn't touched anything on the table, Gimli already onto his third mug of ale. Faramir and Eomer in the corner, right at the far end of the hall, in deep discussion. "Oh, yeah. Of course I do. Sorry. Sorry. I was distracted. What happened? I haven't really spoken to you since you and Gandalf rode off!"

"I know you were." He nodded with such a serious face that I wanted to laugh. "It's okay. Gandalf told me you were pregnant. Well." And Pippin launched into it without any sign of being insulted or annoyed. Clearly being pregnant was a great excuse for 'distracted'. He spoke fast, face flushed with excitement, and I had to admit I was hooked by his story. Minas Tirith. Pippin becoming a guard of the Citadel. Climbing all that way which took him all day and half the night, just to get up there to light the beacon, and hours just to get back down. The battle. Faramir. I didn't hear a single thing different, a single change, and was kind of relieved by that.

Merry joined in when they got to the part about leaving Minas Tirith, the two of them cheerfully telling me about the great battle. Aragorn rose, coming to sit beside me as he slid a chair over, so that we formed a little circle.

"Did they tell you who were the first to charge into an impossible battle?" He asked, amused, as he leaned back against his chair and crossed his arms.

"You were first, Strider." Merry protested.

"And then you both charged after me. The smallest warriors, the first to follow, the first to ignore their fear." Aragorn clasped Merry on the shoulder. "I did not expect such bravery from either of you."

"We know. Goes to show, doesn't it?" Pippin grinned at me and Aragorn.

Food came out and Aragorn quickly returned to his place, meeting my eyes a moment, leaving me hungry and wondering if this was a 'let's talk later' signal or not. He hadn't been that sold on the 'Legolas romance' thing earlier. Had this changed with the pregnancy? Or was it just going to make him even more determined?

Luckily, the feast was not particularly difficult or riddled with customs. Not tonight. The soldiers, every last one that'd returned, were much too exhausted to give a damn about 'right this' or 'right that'. Language was natural, people laughed and behaved as they'd normally behave, and the food was much more rushed. I couldn't help it- I was comfortable enough here. People ate, laughed, drank, danced, and the later the night got on, dancing and drinking started to replace eating. Tired bodies, both men and women, made things get sillier a bit faster.

I had half-expected to see Faramir and Eowyn married tonight. Instead, their betrothal was announced, and I wondered if Eomer had insisted on ...some kind of traditional marriage. Not a hasty one in the middle of a fast. It wouldn't have surprised me too much. After all- it was his sister and he probably wasn't keen on the idea of her jumping into bed with Faramir.

One by one, the Fellowship vanished from the table in the arms of women, all traces of ceremony vanishing with the sheer joy of being alive. Sam was the only one who remained, barely having eaten, his mind probably on Frodo with his eyes darting to Gandalf every few minutes. Gandalf, Legolas and I didn't dance. Legolas was around, I knew that much, but not within sight. Gandalf vanished for a few minutes too.

Faramir offered to escort me home. It was a surprising choice, at least at first, but I saw Eowyn was already in the little cart. I went inside ahead of them, slowly, and crawled back into the cold sheets. I was too tired be amused when I heard two pairs of feet coming up the stairs. Instead I stripped off as much as I could, shut my eyes and curled up to sleep properly.

It was late when I was woken by the sound of my door opening and shutting. Dark. A body shuffling, uncertain, arms out as they headed for my bed. It wasn't Legolas. The smell of alcohol and the soft oath as the man crashed into my wall made it pretty clear who it was.

I slid out of bed in the dark room, grasped my walking stick and headed for the window. Tugging the curtains open let in the light of the moon and Boromir twisted around to stare at me.

"We need to talk." He stepped towards me, unsteady, his feet not quite able to walk in a straight line. "Wendy. Now."

"Not now. Get out. Before I call Eowyn."

"She is with my brother. At our quarters. I am ordered to stay away. Wendy." Boromir grasped my arm tight, bending over me, face shadowed in the dark of the room. I waited for whatever the hell it was he wanted to say.

He shoved me against the wall, not too gentle, the walking stick lost in the unexpected motion. Lips crashed against mine, unshaven cheeks prickling me, the taste of alcohol filling my mouth as he plunged his tongue into my mouth without flooding through my face as Boromir pressed up against me with unhidden need. Like in Moria, the same feeling, the same crazy uncontrolled …

I shoved at him as his hands dragged my legs around his waist, not impressed or amused, gasping as hips ground against mine. The underdress did not hide much, not when he pressed that hard, and fear rose in me. The ring was destroyed. What the hell was going on?

"Let me ...go!" I struggled, shoving at him, inhaling sharply again as his hips grabbed me.

"Stay with me. Here. In this city." Boromir was trying to lift my dress. I nearly poked his eyes out, pushing at him, and this pain seemed to get him to suddenly step back and drop me.

"No! Stop it! This isn't funny, Boromir! You know where I'm going." Anger was still squashed by fear, sort of, and I tried to bend to grasp for my walking stick in the dark.

"These are your people!" Boromir grasped my arm, frustration all over his face, dragging me up once more as he bent over me. "You are accepted here. Loved! Trusted! Do you think the Elves will welcome you? Never do they trust any not of their own kin. You would spend your life an outsider, alone, aging as they watch on and-"

"Don't you think I know that?" I hissed. It hurt. Fuck. He was telling the truth and it hurt to admit.

"Would your Elf ask you to endure that loneliness? How can he love you if he asks you to spend your days in misery?" Boromir squeezed his eyes shut hard, leaning against me, breathing hard. His hand was shaking. "How can I let you do this?"

"It's not your choice." I stared down, past him, leaning against the wall behind me. Somehow my own breathing was fast, I struggled to keep it even, my chest hurting. "I already decided."

"He brings you back for the child, Wenduin. A child that will age so slowly, you will never see it grow up, an Elf. Look at me!" Boromir grasped my face, releasing my arm to do so, cupping it with amazing tenderness given how upset and drunk he was. He grabbed my other hand with his, shoving it against his face, pressing my fingers into it. "Look at us. You and I will age together. Our children will grow up before us and have their own. You will have grandchildren, Wenduin, and friends. Lady Eowyn will be here. Her children will play with yours. I will be your husband."

My heart was breaking. I couldn't stop it, or keep these words out, I stared up at Boromir and knew he was seeing everything. My child wouldn't grow up before I died. How long did it take an Elf child, even a Half-Elf, to age? Boromir had lines. He had wrinkles. The remains of a pimple on his neck, disgusting, and really human. A scar over one of his eyebrows that must have been from some would ages ago. He had a face that wasn't like a statue. It was strange how aging made him beautiful.

I shoved him away with this thought, this terrible shattering thought, and grasped my walking stick hard to hit him hard. I didn't need to- Boromir was backing off. It was now, as he was backing off, that I suddenly felt how afraid I felt. The moments in Mordor and the river, however fake it was, kept flashing across my head.

Only in reality it was so different. Boromir, however angry, however upset, was clearly not in any state or mood to do anything to me. He was harmless, at least physically, but he was killing me emotionally.

Boromir flopped down on the ground, head in hands, devastation openly showing now that he was too drunk to hide it. The man should have been happy. Why couldn't he be happy?

"I can't ...do that." The words broke my heart too. I stared at Boromir, who refused to look up, his shoulders shaking somewhat. I wanted to kick him, swear, and cry, because this wasn't fair. "You know that. Boromir, for fuck's sake, just stop it! How the hell can we be happy if you keep ..."

The door burst open, light blinding both of us, Aragorn's eyes going from mine to him. Not just Aragorn. Pippin as well.

"Everything all right?" Aragorn straightened.

"Yeah." With a soft sigh I sat down on the ground as well. My leg KILLED. Pippin slid a cloak over my shoulders. What if Boromir was right? "He's just drunk. What are you two doing here?"

"Boromir told us he'd be coming here."

My head swung up in surprise at Aragorn's response. He had knelt beside Boromir, gently helping the big idiotic man to his feet, surprisingly tender. "Then he got lost, and us with him."

"I didn't want to … hurt her." Boromir muttered. So... he was afraid of what he'd do as well? His face was hidden from me now by the hair. Slowly he was heading for the doors. "But she needed to know the truth. About Elves. It's all there. Minas Tirith records of Elves... it's all there. I want to take her. Show her." Shoving off Aragorn, Boromir added, "I can walk."

He squared his shoulders, gritted his teeth, and walked right into the wall beside the door. Aragorn was quick to grab him before he fell backwards.

"Not now, Boromir..." Aragorn met my eyes, sighing quietly, reaching up to rub his forehead as if he had a headache. He was a bit unsteady too, I noticed, a bit drunk himself. It wasn't that surprising. "Do you mind if he sleeps down there? I would, naturally, remain here."

"Merry and I were already going to sleep near Sam." Pippin spoke up from beside me.

"Without asking?" Aragorn sighed, reaching for his head once again.

"It's Wenduin." Pippin wrapped an arm over my shoulder and leaned against me. "And who keeps Boromir from coming up here?"

"Legolas, when he and Gandalf return." Aragorn responded. He didn't make a move to remove Pippin though. He lifted one of Boromir's arms over his shoulder and slowly headed out of the room. "Come on, Pippin."

"Are you all right?" Pippin hesitated. He reached out to touch my shoulder once more.

"Yeah." I almost wished Aragorn hadn't left. My mind was starting to repeat what Boromir had said like a broken record. Elf children didn't grow fast. I wouldn't even see it as an adult. Blah, blah, blah. Pippin blinked, frowning, clearly not convinced. "Yeah. I'm okay. Just got to get to my feet."

"Here. Let me help you."

Slowly, I rose, with Pippin's help. He was surprisingly steady on his feet.

"You didn't drink?"

"It's Merry's turn tonight. I'll go get him in a minute." Pippin slowly helped me towards the bed, his eyes off me as I flopped down. He actually tucked me in, crawling on the bed, and sat down beside me. "Do you need something? Water?"

"Pip,I'm okay." I insisted. No. I wasn't. It had been a hell of a few hours. That 'dream'. Boromir's rantings. "Legolas was with Gandalf?"

"They went to Frodo. I think he was hoping Legolas could help wake Frodo." Pippin didn't move, even though I was lying down now, clearly determined to wait until he was sure I was okay. "Do you want him?"

"Why are you fussing over me?"

"Well, you're pregnant."

His answer made me want to groan. I'd known for ten days. Ten days! It wasn't like I was dying of cancer. I smiled weakly. "I know. So I'm going to sleep. Go get Merry. He can sleep here. But when Eowyn returns, don't say anything."

"I think she has quarters in the hall tonight. Aragorn offered them to her when she was too tired to leave." Pippin slid back, slowly. "Goodnight, Wendy."

"Night."

I exhaled with relief when he had left me alone. I slid up and hobbled across the room to lock the door before Boromir decided he wanted to talk again, just in case, and then returned to my bed and crawled back inside. If Legolas wanted in then he could do his magic elf jump thing.

Slowly I slid back into bed. This was a careful process- bum first, keep injured leg lifted until the last second, but once it was done I sat there and stared out the window into the dark night and to the mountains beyond. The volcano had not stopped erupting since Frodo had blown it up. The winds kept soot and ash from us, luckily, but it must have been making a huge mess on the other side of the volcano. Would that melted ring be spread all Mordor now? Would it now become a battle for the stone of Middle Earth?

Yeah. I was pretending to be interested in a stupid volcano instead of facing the really BIG problem. But as soon as I accepted this, the big questions started to bash me around the head, only adding to the weight the pregnancy was starting to heap in my stomach. Weight! I hadn't even started to SHOW yet and I was already starting to feel strung out and trapped. This was no longer good news. This wasn't even exciting news.

How long did Elf children stay children?

Boromir had more or less destroyed any chance I'd had at being happy about the baby. I wanted to be angry with him. I really did. But … I was angry at everything right now. What if he was wrong? Maybe he was. But what if he was right? What if Legolas … well, lied was the wrong word. Much too strong a word. But what if Legolas hadn't mentioned this?

Legolas was always so convinced I wasn't completely mortal. Always. Maybe it hadn't even crossed his mind.

And anyway, how was I so sure Boromir was telling the truth? How the hell would he know?

My chest hurt. I stared into the darkness of the room a very long time, chest tight, throat swollen, like some kind of emotion had gotten stuck there and couldn't get out. This was just getting worse. At least we'd had one GOAL during the Fellowship. Ring. Volcano. Stay alive. What was our goal now? Get Aragorn crowned. Married. Have baby.

Did an Elf's pregnancy draw out like an elf's life? Was this going to take me longer? Or was it shorter? Safer? More dangerous? Was it any different? Why the hell hadn't we talked about this? Oh yeah, because Legolas was running off to take on ten thousand Orc in Mordor and I'd been beaten up badly enough to stay in bed a week.

It was a long time before I felt really tired enough to lie down. When I did, it was slow, and I curled up against the cold sheets again. Suddenly, I didn't feel so comfortable or cosy, and the weight of new responsibilities was starting to tie me down.