I wanted to stab something when I woke up the next morning, exhausted, grumpy and tired. Stab it until it bled and then stab it some more. Vomiting was the next choice, not that I had much of a chance to say no, and I knelt there as last night's ...whatever that mess had been... came to greet the sunshine.

Crawling back into bed after, I lay there, and found myself missing the toilet again. Oh toilet. There were some things in my world I couldn't deny I missed. The flush button was a big part of that right now.

As I slowly woke up, lying in the bed again, last night started to replay in my brain. The cuts on my neck and shoulder reminded me of what had happened and … it was only now, now that the night was over, that I could really feel like I'd escaped something pretty nasty... at the time I hadn't been able to get my head around it. Probably a good thing. I might have freaked out.

Boromir. Legolas.

I groaned and dragged a pillow over my head. Fucking hell. If it wasn't for Aragorn's big crowning thing I might have run for the hills. Let the men duke it out.

Come to think of it, Boromir had stolen my phone, and he still hadn't returned it. I doubted he'd know what to do with it but I seriously hoped he didn't damage it.

I missed Eowyn. Yeah, sure, I had others here. But it was nice to have girl power. SHE probably wouldn't find it strange that I would walk alone at night. Other people, including Boromir, probably did think that was silly. Me?

Well, maybe it had been, because I had more or less been warned by that soldier. But I was cranky at Boromir for ...well, I wasn't sure, I just knew I was and it involved him, and his stubbornness, and the moment where he decided to argue with Gandalf himself.

My fingers traced down my stomach slowly as I lay there. I hadn't felt it since that morning with Legolas, hadn't really been able to, but as I touched that space again I tried to breathe and relax. Okay. Okay.

"Sorry, wriggler." I said quietly. It was the first time I'd actually spoken to the baby. Feeling the lump made the whole thing a lot more real for me. "Sorry. Your dad and ...Uncle Boromir... are jerks."

If baby agreed, whatever his name was going to be, I couldn't tell. I gritted my teeth. Boromir shouldn't have lost his head over what I'd said last night- what did it change anyway? Did that mean if he'd have known he would have tried harder to separate us?

"Okay." Okay. So. "Baby. We'll work it out."

So, I didn't know. Did I ignore the men and … go off location?

Gondor. Minas Tirith. Okay, it had some great selling points. Great view. A bit too much stone, it was a masculine city all right, but at least there was a nice view. Lots of fellow humans running around who wouldn't blink twice if I accidentally farted or got a pimple. Or Mirkwood. Lots of nature. A lot of it, actually, including a deadly forest filled with spiders. I was from Australia. Spiders didn't usually phase me. I had this feeling though that these ones might. There were a lot of pretty people, a culture my baby was probably going to spend his life amongst anyway, and endless beauty.

Then there was home. In my world.

Even though my first reaction had been 'No way in hell', now I was ...remembering things more. Toliets, yes, but also other things. Coconuts. Oranges. Washing machines. Hot and cold water coming out of taps. I could see and be really grateful for all of that. They were things I just assumed would be apart of my life all the time but here, in this place, it wasn't that special. If I wanted a bath here someone had to cart and heat saucepan after saucepan of water, who knew how many times, or if I wanted an orange that apparently couldn't happen. Seasons.

And the birth.

My fingers pressed against the space between the hardness and the soft stomach, exploring, only now really thinking about the birth. It was this big elephant in the room I couldn't really focus on, because all these other stupid elephants in the room were trying to cuddle me, but … that wasn't something I could forget either.

Okay. So choosing the location didn't change the fact that I was stuck.

I growled softly. Twisted over in bed. Nope. I didn't know.

On the bright side, I tried to tell myself, at least I hadn't had crazy morning sickness. It seemed to be related to stress and not actual sickness. Nice. Positive thoughts. All that stuff.

I felt somewhat better when I'd washed, like usual, and I stood in front of the mirror inspecting my stomach. Was there something happening yet? Something showing?

There was a knock at the door, a quick one, and I heard a soft voice, "Are you up, Wenduin?"

Arwen? I tugged a robe around me, deciding shame was better than giving away her surprise for Aragorn, and she slipped into the room gratefully as she lowered her hood. She smiled as she gazed at me, eyes going up and down, before she suddenly grasped me in an embrace that surprised me.

"You look better." She squeezed me before she released me, one of her hands against my stomach, Arwen gazing down. There was this tender look in her face as she touched my stomach. Could she sense something? Hear something? ...smell something? "It was a terrible shock for you. I am sorry."

"It was. But …"

"You already knew."

I nodded and sighed. I sat down on the bed and crossed one leg as she gazed down at me. She was incredibly beautiful, that was true, but it was more than that. She seemed to express more emotion than any other Elf. Was that because of her father's bloodline? Or was that just how she was? Arwen sat in front of me when she'd pulled a chair across.

"Gandalf suggested to me that I explain why, and when, your child must be taken." She grasped my hands in hers. "Not straight away."

"I thought that's what he meant. When I gave birth, I'd go one way, and … well, he'd go to Mirkwood."

"He would prefer you in Rivendel for the safety it offers, not to imprison you, for he feels responsible for your safety." Arwen explained softly. "And he would not have asked you to give up Legolas Greenleaf if there was a chance you could have lived a happy life together. No Elf that sees the two of you would doubt that the love is real. It brightened the two of you, gave you both energy, strength and purpose, and it pained my father to cut that bond."

Her words made me suddenly want to cry. It was so sudden that I tried to hide it but my eyes were suddenly damp all over again and I tried to wipe them away with a sleeve. "I... well, you were right. I knew it."

"And so did he. I was blessed to be allowed the love I have and a way to live it." Arwen's sadness mirrored my own, her empathy bleeding over, and it just made my pain worse. "Legolas must have known. If he had not, he would have bonded to you in the way I have to Aragorn, and tied his fate to yours."

"He always said our fate was strange." Hormones. It had to be. My heart was already broken but she was more or less uncovering all the warm fuzz Boromir kept burying it under. Fuck. "I don't understand it still. I was happy. Afraid, yeah, and uncertain but ..."

"But it would have destroyed too much to continue. His joy would not have lasted as he felt the change of fate, felt that it was wrong, and even his love for you would not have endured his resentment. Do not think I do not care for your joy as well." Arwen said softly. "You were meant to come. I do not doubt that. But there are some fates, the fate of the Fellowship from now, that should not be changed. Every member of the Fellowship will now go on into the world and change it. Some by simply living. Some will spend their lives continuing the fight. I do not know the fates of each, only what my father has suggested, but there is no simple ending to something so great."

"I kind of do." Sort of. I knew Gimli and Legolas' fate anyway. Aragorn. I knew Sam had married someone. Frodo left Middle Earth. No clue about Pippin and Merry, except some vauge idea that they married and apparently had families of the tallest hobbits the shire had ever seen, which I wasn't sure about. "I kind of know what's going to happen."

"I know. Which is why you know it is important to let it happen. Legolas is still blessed with the gift of his race, Wendy, and so I believe he always felt deep down he could not abandon his fate either." Arwen's use of 'Wendy' surprised me. She stood up, pacing, and added, "I could not bear it so well as you if it was Aragorn I had to release. Nay. I did not bear it well. Now I can not even sleep for waiting, so eager am I for the day next week, and … I wish I could tell you that you could return to his side. But he is already half gone along his path- his spirit is starting along his path beside his Dwarf friend.

"He couldn't even face that I'd age. How could he … even face me after twenty years?"

"Perhaps that was why he could not face your own mortality. He hoped you would still be here when his fate was through with him. We struggle to let go when we love for we only love once."

More pain. I was trying so hard not to cry and it just didn't want to happen. I tucked my legs up, blanket over bared legs, fingers automatically finding my stomach. She hadn't said I would be. Lingering hope that I was some special secret half-elf or something vanished. I would die like the other mortal women.

I couldn't talk about Legolas any more. I couldn't do it. The idea that he'd come back in twenty years for our son, see that I was forty, see that I'd aged, and that it'd shatter any last hope in his heart that I'd be there for him. So... I had to do it now. I had to let him go right now, before next week, before Aragorn was crowned and it was time for Legolas and Gimli to move away.

"What about the baby? Lord Elrond wants it to stay?"

"Because it is Elf-kin and we treasure the children above all else." Arwen sighed. "I, on the other hand, know the urge of a mother. My father chose the immortality of our kin. His brother chose the blood of man. Your son will one day have to make the same choice. He will not age slowly, as an Elf, not until his body finishes the transition from boy to man."

"And you want him to know about his elf-blood."

"He should have both worlds. Boromir has made it clear he would rather you here, than you leave for your world, but your son is a child whose blood comes from much further than Minas Tirith. It is not just the world of men he'll need to come to know. Your world will also be a place he must experience. Three worlds. The world of men, here in Middle Earth, his kin within Mirkwood, and the world of which you came from."

"Wow." Wow. That was going to be … "How are we going to do that?"

"I cannot tell you that. But you will spend time between Minas Tirith and your home. When he is twenty he will come to Rivendell, for a time, and then to Mirkwood."

She didn't say if I'd see him after. I didn't ask. Far as I was concerned, I'd ask him to visit, because if he was ...if he WAS an adult... hopefully he wouldn't just abandon me. I didn't know. My head span just THINKING about having a grown up child. "And you're sure … sure that he won't take fifty years just to look like a ten year old human child?"

Arwen shook her head. "Not until his body has matured will the gift of our kin slow his aging. His his will life extend far beyond that of any mortal man. But he will remain mortal until he decides between the Elf-blood or the human-blood."

"So I won't be sixty by the time he's ...twenty. Or ten."

"No. You will live to see him as a strong young man. But he will not have children within your lifetime." Arwen smiled sadly.

Honestly, I was more overwhelmed by being pregnant with a baby that I'd be around for, I hadn't even thought about grandchildren. Okay. Um. I'd care about that another time. Couldn't even begin to worry or care about something like that.

Legolas though. Would he miss his son's first years? My heart twisted with pain again, stomach lurched, and I sat very still until my stomach relaxed again. I … I had to accept some parts of this. Here or Mirkwood, Legolas would have to do things, so … I had to breathe. I had good news about the aging. I wasn't sure I could ever face Legolas, not after what I'd put him through, and Boromir flashed across my mind.

I breathed out slowly. Shut my eyes. This was ...slightly less complicated then. "I still don't know how to … how to get him to live in both worlds. Wait, why would I bring him up here?"

"Boromir." She responded. She actually looked a little surprised. "Do you not care for him as well?"

Well, of course I did, and Arwen's surprise surprised me. Was everyone expecting me to …

What did I want?

I mean, he always eased the pain, he always made me happy, or if he didn't I'd cheer myself up by attacking him. There wasn't any other man, not even Brian, who'd ever …

I didn't know what to say. Her answer was so unexpected. Boromir had been this niggling pest, before now, I hadn't even thought of him as an actual 'choice'.

"Forgive me." She said, clearly surprised at my reaction, "I had heard whispers that he loved you."

"He does." I responded. Slowly, I stood, and stared out the window. He did. Boromir loved me. He'd tried to be so good, supportive, and I'd tipped him over the edge last night badly when I'd confessed I'd struggled with Legolas. Had he been torturing himself all that time, thinking I was competely happy, without care for his own heart? Fuck. "I don't know what to do with him. I changed his fate."

"With the grace of the Valar, you did, yes."

I blinked at Arwen. She was gazing out again, eyes distant, attention half on me and half somewhere else. "His fate was changed only with their blessing. You do not know how strange that is- that any man should be worth saving by Elf or Valar- but that is why the Elves of Lothlorien came for him. The Lady Galadriel, my grandmother, knew he had been offered another chance."

"Another chance." What else could I say? Now that I thought about it, yeah, okay, it was pretty special that he'd been rescued and healed by the Elves. Lothlorien wasn't the most social 'club of Elves' to begin with. They hadn;t just healed him. They'd armed him, let him march back to Helm's Deep, and … I remembered what it had been like. Boromir sticking close to my side the entire time. Letting me fight, even when Legolas couldn't bear the idea, even though we were both still struggling to function.

The man trusted me.

"His fate is free, his future unwritten, and you can not change it. Boromir has a long life to create of his own choosing now. Perhaps ..." Arwen lowered his voice. "Perhaps it was a gift to you, equally, for it was always known that Legolas could not remain by your side."

Always known.

"A gift."

Arwen nodded. She turned to me, a sad smile, reaching out to touch my shoulder. "It is not a gift given to man often. But you need not be alone if you would have him. And if not, he would still be happy, so you do not need feel any law binding you both. It may not feel it but Legolas' fate has changed his fate for the better for he was never meant to be a father."

I hadn't even thought about that. No. I'd never heard of any kids that Legolas had fathered. Forests, Gimli, undying lands. That was it. Still, however much she brought up Legolas, I couldn't face the topic. Not yet.

"My world. I … I don't know if I want to return to it." I said quietly. It was the other issue. No one had really asked. But … "I have some memories and they aren't good."

"You are stronger now. You may see your old world in a new way and find it is not so bad after all."Arwen's words were nice, they were sort of comforting, but I wasn't sure if I could face it. Dad. Brian. She added, "There are some battles we cannot avoid. Until you face these wounds you may never be able to heal them."

She didn't speak. I stood there, numb, overwhelmed with all this information. Legolas. Boromir. Three worlds. How was I supposed to seriously come between here and home? Magic ...necklace? Portal scroll?

But that was nothing. Boromir. He was weighing all over my head again, right there beside Legolas, and I wasn't sure what to do anymore. Truth was- I didn't love him. Not like Legolas. But I... I'd honestly never cared about anyone so much. Ever.

"Would it hurt Legolas..."

"If you were to marry Boromir in the laws of man?" Arwen guessed. "I could not say."

It probably would. It shocked me that this was what was holding me back. I didn't want to hurt Legolas. If he wasn't even a factor, would I be 'wooing' Boromir back, would I …

The answer was a very clear, very loud, very impatient 'YES'. I would.

And in a week Legolas would go. He'd come back, maybe often, maybe only in twenty years, but he'd see that I was aging and have to accept I couldn't join him. Draw out whatever it was he was feeling, whatever it was he was waiting for. If I took him back, I'd be harming him, feeding his denial, and … hurting Boromir.

"This is why you're expecting me to stay in Minas Tirith, isn't it?" I asked quietly.

"I am here, to teach your son the ways of my people, but also... if you were to love someone here, it would make it easier for you. Yes." Arwen agreed softly. "Elves may only love one but men are able to love more than one. There is no shame in that."

"Only in hurting him."

"There are some things we must do for those we love."

She didn't stay long after that, she and I ate together, I answered questions about Minas Tirith, and then Arwen had snuck away before Aragorn caught her. Maybe she knew I couldn't handle any more heavy talk. It was easier to explain to her where the fruit and vegetables came from, or the animals, why there was water so high up. I actually didn't know. It was amazing, now that I thought about it, that there were wells of water that were so full and so high up in Minas Tirith without a pumping system. Maybe they'd been carved and filled over winter. That probably meant people had to be careful if winter had less rain than usual. Or was there a massive storage area for water somewhere? I wanted to ask Faramir about it.

I wanted to talk to Boromir too.

Instead, I was dragged out of bed once more by Boromir and Faramir's old nurse, Irati, and taken to a dress-maker. Then to a midwife. Something about a 'second opinion' because they were uncertain about how to birth a child with Elf-blood. Then to a healer for my leg. He actually applied leeches and the guards, who Aragorn had probably sent to 'guard me', ended up holding me down as I tried to kick the healer for being stupid. So what if leeches worked? They were sucking my blood!

It was on my way back, limping once more, in a foul mood that I finally bumped into Boromir. He was in full armour, directing something, hadn't even noticed me. I froze as I watched him in 'job mode', heart constricting, watched the expressions of those who followed and admired him. Even I couldn't deny it.

The man, for all his flaws, was beautiful in his own way. His confidance had everyone in the area, soldier, woman, man and child, competely aware of him. Drew gazes to him, admiration, and as he turned to see me, I somehow got caught up in this 'aura' of his. I should have resented it. Right now though I didn't want to.

"Woman, where were you? I wanted to talk."

"She had things to do, and so do you, so move on." Irati called. She batted at Boromir as he came closer. "Talk in the morning."

"Yeah, the morning." I agreed. I flushed as I felt stares. Heard whispers. Was sure that this, just by us being together, was provoking the rumours.

"The morning it shall be, then." He grinned, this flash of amusement suddenly, and winked as he strode past. He leaned in, sudden, his cold hard metal armour pressing in as he murmured slowly, "Do not go to sleep."

His voice had gotten gruff again. I hesitated as I twisted around to watch him stride off, his shoulders tense, clearly only smiling on the outside. So maybe he was still angry about what I'd said.

It upset me and I stood there numbly as he moved away without a glance back. It wasn't like I'd ignored my doubts to hurt Boromir. Truthfully his opinion didn't really factor at the time. Now though... it kind of did.

"You are to return to your old chambers now." Old chambers? She had to mean the 'princess' ones. I didn't argue, as Irati fussed, my mind was elsewhere. So it was back to the room. A bath waited, reminding me, and I asked as Irati made sure it was warm enough.

"Does it take a long time to make these bathes?"

"Don't worry about that, girl, the warm water is known to assist the discomfort of being with child."

"I haven't really had a lot." Not really.

"Not yet. But your body will begin to swell and we will help the muscles relax as they stretch so that after your health returns faster. Get in."

I got in. Sat there in the path, staring out the window, suddenly so aware once again of Legolas. His grey eyes. His gaze, barely concealing from me his true feelings, and … and the feeling he had. It was like he had his own special aura or something.

Was he out there? I wasn't sure. Somehow I doubted it. It didn't feel like last night, where I'd felt like he was almost on top of my head, it was something else. Magic Elf thing? I wasn't sure. I was sure I felt him though, felt hands on my back, even though when I glanced back there was nothing. Just the sense of the lightest brush across my tense muscles.

Then it was gone and I wondered if I'd imagined it at all.

Irati returned later, re-shaved me, but luckily this process was much faster so I could escape the humiliation within minutes. There was a rich dinner waiting and the fireplace roaring when I came out.

"Do you want to leave tonight?"

"Not really." I admitted. "I might sit in front of the fire and ...relax."

"May as well let you stay in your nightgown now then." Irati decided for me. Once again I didn't have the energy to argue. She shoved it at me, the pretty basic 'throat to ankle' thing, and I was left to eat and do relax as I wanted.

When she was gone and I was left alone, I remained in the room, staring out into the darkening city from the high chambers.

"Woman. Quick." Boromir's voice with his knocking interrupted the peace before I could begin to eat or think. I hurried to my feet as he hissed, "Before the old woman skins me alive. Qu-"

I opened the door and he slid in, fast, grasping the key and locking it himself. Then he turned on me. I braced myself for his anger, tensing, opening my mouth to tell him everything that I'd been told once he'd said what he needed to.

Boromir grasped my head hard, pushing me against the wall, and kissed me hard. His knee pinned me, keeping my legs apart, tongue invading my mouth with some pent up desire that made his entire body shake.

"I have … decided." He growled softly, shaking his head. "If you are not sure then I am."

He backed up, slowly, as he reached up for his shirt. Boromir started to unbutton it slowly. I couldn't breathe. My chest was hammering open, mouth open, lips bruised.

His eyes grazed over the clothing I wore. Night gown, right to my ankles and as high as my throat, somehow suddenly became the sexiest thing the man had ever seen.

Then he reached for his belt, my eyes widening, breath hitching as I watched his fingers easily unloop it and it dangled there, open, almost loose. No second belt. He was serious. And... rather than scare me, it made me feel strangely breathless. Somewhere in the back of my mind was the logic, the reason, the 'No, don't, we just have to talk …'

One of Boromir's hands suddenly grasped my wrist, pulling me against him and effectively cutting off logic, his other hand cupping the back of my head as his mouth claimed mine hard.

The kiss was crazy, hard, his tongue finding mine, and I felt our bodies backing up. I felt dizzy suddenly, his hands releasing my wrist and head, and picking me up.

"I have waited..." He breathed against my mouth, as he walked, my mind too light to think, "...to hear you admit it was a mistake. Do you know how long it tortured me to not have this?"

"I don't know..." I didn't know if it was right, if it was time, if I could … I didn't know! Did he want me to love him first? Because I didn't. I wanted to speak, I tried to speak, and when I started he cut me off very fast.

"I see your mind forming an argument. Quiet, woman, and trust me." He kissed me hard again, and suddenly I was dropped onto the bed, and Boromir was kneeling between my legs, something silver flashing in the candle light. A knife. He was literally cutting the nightgown off, impatience in his face as it didn't cut, and he grasped either side of the nightgown. With a huge tug he ripped it clean in two, parting it, his breathing hard as his hungry eyes devoured everything he'd wanted. Tunic split down the middle, shoved to either side, lips kissing my breasts, his palm sliding along the side of my leg.

And, even with all my uncertainty, I was loosing the willpower to think. To be logical.

Boromir inhaled slowly as he stared down at me, drawing either half to one side, his hand grasping my leg and pulling it up so my legs were opening. When I tried to close them Boromir grasped my other leg, forced both open, and knelt between them. He bent over me to kiss me again, hard, his hips grinding into mine.

Something crashed to one side, something falling somewhere, but his body was crushing mine. Something hard against my thigh, as his legs slid up, his pants sliding down his own thighs, his leg hair tickling my bare skin.

"Wait, this could be..." Logic finally managed to get a word in edgewise. Logic, who hadn't forgotten Legolas, or confusion, or claustrophobia... and before I could say it, those words I knew would stop him, he kissed me hard with a soft growl.

"If it is a mistake then I will make it with no regrets." He cut me off so fast, his breathing fast, before I felt that hardness push against me. Boromir's eyes were on face, his fingers between my legs as he opened me. He groaned as he found what he was looking for, as the head slowly slid in.

I opened my mouth to argue, to protest, to stop, and he crushed my lips with his, using his whole body to pin me down. With a rough thrust he claimed me, and I cried out into his mouth, as his body starting to thrust with hard deep thrusts that betrayed how long he'd waited. There was nothing tender about it. I was being fucked hard, all his stress in it, all his frustration, as if he HAD to claim me this way. Teeth bit a nipple and the sense of being so quickly … him being rough so fast... it hurt and I cried out in pain, cringing. Boromir stiffened.

Then suddenly he was tender, slower, an arm coming to hold me against him, a hand sliding up my thigh slowly. His kisses grow slow, Boromir's breathing hard against me, and when I tentatively reached up to cup his face, I felt his whole body shudder in delight.

"Forgive me... I love you." He breathed, grinding up into me with the words, leaning on his elbows so that I wasn't so crushed. "Long … long have I waited... and I love you. I love you more than my life itself. Let me have you."

My body reacted, slowly, but as his movements grew slow and purposeful, I felt it finally start to catch up to him. It was wrong, it was so wrong, because I had this horrible feeling that I couldn't live up to Boromir'rs needs either...

But logic couldn't overcome the feelings in my heart, in my body, it was drowned.

I could barely hear it. I shut my eyes, his lips grazing mine before he started to kiss the side of my neck, his hands drawing my hips up higher as his movement grew rougher slowly, his eyes fixed on my face.

Hands grasped me gently and Boromir drawing me up into his lap to my shock, and I opened my eyes as I was pulled into his arms. He paused, still within me, his eyes shutting as he breathed out a long ragged breath. Slowly he tugged the nightgown off me. At some point he'd taken off his shirt. Boromir pressed kisses against my shoulder again, slowly, one arm looked around my waist as he cupped my face.

"Move." He pleaded softly. "Care for me in return, with your body, even if you cannot do it yet with your voice."

When I didn't move, Boromir didn't give up, only slid his other arm around me. "I will not move. I do not ask for that place where your Elf is. Only... allow me a little place within your heart as well." His fingers traced up my back, slowly, his eyes fixed in mine, and it had to kill him to not move... I could feel his body inside me, feel it move of its own accord, his thigh muscles twitching as if they were trying to begin again without him. "Love me a little. You need not love me as I do you, not yet, for I have enough for us both. Move just once and I will take over once more. Or move away and I will... I will not follow."

I shut my eyes. I couldn't help it. I wanted to love him back. I wanted, just once, to see someone happy. Someone satisfied. Slowly, I slid up, and the motion made his arms tense before he released them so I could move. His heart pounded hard against his chest- I could feel it through my own chest.

The sad truth was he did have a place in my heart. And the sheer IDEA of shoving him out of there broke my heart. It was all I had left. The place Legolas had been given, almost everything, was still in pieces.

This wasn't just about Boromir. The truth was... I had to let Legolas go in every way. And some part of me needed something. Someone. I was using Boromir to comfort me and ...right now, however wrong that was, I couldn't fight it.

When I sunk down again, when I gave in, a shudder of relief rushed through him hand he clasped my face with both hands to kiss me again and again, our bodies and noses bumping as we both started to move, an error that was so human that it made me want to laugh and chased away the grief that had threatened to build. Human. Mortal. He'd never be perfect. His cheeks, not shaven, tickled my face, his leg hair tickled my thighs, and when I tentatively touched his back, I found marked skin. Scars, a light covering of chest hair, hard muscles that retracted as I touched them.

This time we both took over, a minute before we figured out how to do it without bumping awkwardly against the other, and his lips didn't leave mine a second as I stayed in his lap. Relief flooded me as something, some kind of pleasure, managed to build up... I was afraid I couldn't manage it... and when Boromir stiffened, groaned, and came inside me, I kissed him, which seemed to add to his pleasure. It took me a minute after him, his hand there to help, and I groaned softly against his neck.

His arms slowly lowered me back onto the bed, careful, and Boromir flopped beside me. "I..." His head flopped and he shut his eyes. "I am not so fast normally. It has been so long..."

It had seemed like hours but truthfully it had only taken five minutes, I realised, or something like that. It was kind of funny. I would have laughed if I could breathe. Could think. "I...I'm not either. Usually."

Boromir laughed, shaking his head, bending over me to trace his fingers across my side. He stared at me, at naked me, without any attempt to hide what he was doing, and suddenly I felt so damn shy. I mean, I had so many scars, and …

He grasped for the sheet as I eyed it, tossing it aside, and kicked away the blankets. Boromir grasped my face, kissing me with such tenderness that my heart broke, again and again, his grin splitting his face. "Warriors do not feel shame over scars. Let me see them."

"Yeah, yeah." I groaned as he rolled me over, apparently all energised again, a yawn splitting my face as his hands slid down my back slowly. The gentle touching was lulling me into a sleep. "I suppose I won tonight's duel then."

"What makes you think such a lie?" He was laughing though, just a soft exhale of air, before he slid down to lie beside me, hand still tracing up and down my back.

"I was on top and I came first." The words were so natural, the idea such a good one, that I surprised myself. I twisted around as he started to bend over my back, grinning up at him. "So either you did not duel me tonight or you lost."

"I did not loose."

"Then you chickened out of a duel."

"I was not afraid either. Do you know hard it was to come here and to do this?"

Boy did I know. I grinned wider, tempted to suggest JUST how hard it had been, but decided against it. "Then I won."

"Woman, if I could, I would hold you down and make sure you know who's stronger." Boromir grasped my arms, half amused and half annoyed, which just increased my desire to tease him more. He leaned down to kiss me hard, pressing half his body on mine, and held me down when I tried to slip away.

"Too late...I'm the man of this relationship for the next day." I grinned, wriggling, and tested. Biting Boromir's neck did amazing things to his eyes.

"Then I demand we duel once more. Tomorrow night."

"Fine. I'll win." I twisted over before he could answer, back to him, and despite the deep seated anxiety had to admit I felt kind of warm right now. The idea of him being back...

It wasn't such a bad feeling.

"Sleep." Boromir's voice had softened, as he slid down to stroke my back again, I felt his scratchy chin start to kiss the back of my bare shoulder once more. An arm crossed over my back and he rested his chin on the back of my shoulder. "I will wait till you have fallen asleep."

"I'm in charge." I muttered. It felt nice though, being held, being touched, and added, "So keep doing that." It didn't take long to fall asleep like that.

I woke to the smell of food. Bacon, eggs, bread, fresh bread that must have just been baked, and the sight of Boromir wandering around trying to be 'quiet'. Failing, as usual, the poor man just wasn't light enough to pull it off.

The sight of him, shirtless, relaxed, even happy, it provoked a strange sense of peace and anxiety. Guilt and relief. I … I wasn't sure how to do it. How to love him. It wasn't that I didn't feel peace with him, I really did, but it was the weight of Legolas' and I that clung onto any potential happiness like a persistent monkey.

I still had to face him. I'd been avoiding him and I suspected he was doing the same. I kept seeing the look on his face when I'd told him, when he'd walked out without another word, and ...even with the warmth Boromir brought, it was this part of me that just stayed raw and open.

How could I spend three seconds with Leggy without deciding to abandon his future? I couldn't do that. So I was afraid of facing him properly. Afraid of telling him about Boromir. Cutting him off finally for once and all. But then last night, when I'd let Boromir do that, I'd known. I'd decided it last night.

I sighed softly and slid across the sheets, slowly, so that I was across the edge of the bed.

"What are yo-" I paused, yawning, as he flinched. "Cooking?"

"Breakfast. Did I wake you?"

"I don't know." I wasn't bothered by that. I stood up, slowly, and cringed. Ow. Sprained muscle somewhere. It amused me and I stood there, tugging a sheet around me, tucking it before I went to sit beside the fire. It was still raining outside. "Does it rain all spring?"

"It will rain until almost the start of summer, as it always does, but when the rain grows warm you know it is soon to end." Boromir responded. He added as he removed the frying pan from the metal grate over the fire, "Tis not a bad thing for the more rain we get now, the more water we are able to have during summer, and the higher the river. Do you swim?"

"I love swimming."

"What do women of your world wear to swim though? You cannot be nude, can you?" Boromir blinked. His gaze went over the sheet, suddenly, and I had to assume he was thinking abut swimming nude with me. Yeah. That could have been fun. My cheeks heated as he slid closer, an arm wrapping around my waist, kissing my shoulder. "Yes. You can."

"I have to think. Don't distract me." I grumbled as he tugged me into his lap, literally planting me on top of him, Boromir back to planting soft kiss after kiss against the back of my neck and shoulders.

"You must talk to Legolas."

Argh. Stupid observant man. I nodded as he held me tighter, this hug that made me all emotional, because this wasn't something he should have even had to worry about. "I already did. It wouldn't have made any difference if …"

"If I were here." Boromir didn't sound hurt. He just sounded … I didn't know. Serious all of a sudden. "Nay, it would not. And I swear to uphold what I said last night. I would not, not now, not on my deathbed, believe I could even come close to that place he is. But I will support you until then."

"Sorry. You deserve someone with you competely."

"You are. If you were not, I would not see the hurt in you." Boromir twisted me around, slowly, only pausing to check that nothing in the frying pan had burnt. He cupped my face and kissed my lips, again and again, fingers tangled in my hair. "Would you want me nearby when you talk with him?"

"I don't know." I didn't. Was that mean to Legolas? "...Maybe... maybe Aragorn should be. Because..."

"Because I am your lover."

I nodded. Boromir sighed and shut his eyes as he rested his head against my forehead. "As you wish, Captain Wenduin."

"Captain?"

"We agreed, did we not? You bested me in bed and so, in private, you are the Captain today." Even though he was trying to be serious I could see that smile creeping across his face. Boromir apparently liked that game. He added, "I will be glad to take it from you tonight."

"Good luck."

"I just ask that when I am on duty, you treat me as any other soldier would, with the resepct of my rank." Boromir lifted his head. "And I will see about allowing you to join us when you have safely given birth."

"Seriously? Won't that shock Minas Tirith?"

"It will." Oh, he liked that idea, his grin widening. "And I will love to be apart of it. A female archer joining her lover during the hunt for Orc. It will upset many."

"Especially when everyone's daughters start to want to do it too." But I felt my own body relax. I smiled weakly. It was kind of amusing, now that I thought about it, that I'd be treated equally. I wouldn't have let him do anything else.

"A daughter born of our blood should be allowed no less than the right to fight." Boromir murmered.

A daughter? Our daughter? I stared up at him.

That was right. This thing. It wasn't just a fling. It was life. I'd known it, of course I had, I'd always felt that. That I'd happily grow old beside this man. I hadn't even conciously thought about what that meant. "Marriage. Children. I have to marry anyway."

"Are you proposing to me?" Boromir grinned. "Because if so, I happily accept."

"I ..." I shoved him hard. "Men are supposed to do that."

"Aye, and you are the man for today. Thank you, you have made me the happiest maiden in all these fair lands." Boromir grunted in pain when I smacked him playfully. "You should not hit a woman!"

"You're a woman in a man's body."

"Am I?" He shoved me back, suddenly, rough... but also careful to not knock my head on the fire. Boromir bent over me, my legs still sprawled around his legs, and carefully unwrapped the sheet. "Then you will not mind if I-"

A hard and angry sounding knocking at the door made him groan and his head flop. Bang, bang, bang, and Irati's very sharp, very angry sounding, "Boromir, if you are in there, I will skin you alive and feed you to the crows!"

"The first we should tell is that woman." Boromir groaned and flopped his head on my shoulder. "I beg you for the safety of my skin."

"Your nurse."

"Do not remind me."

"Boromir!"

"Should I climb out the window?" He wondered, sliding up, and eyed the window.

He didn't get time to think about it. There was a sudden sound of the door being unlocked and Irati bursting in.

It really didn't take a genius to guess what we'd been up to last night. I was still lying there, sheet barely covering my naked body, and my legs were sprawled across his thighs. I felt like a naughty teenager... caught with her boyfriend.

So naturally it was Boromir who copped it. She shoved the door shut and went at him, the little old woman easily roughing him to sit down on the bed as she gave him an earful. Between his lecture I was more or less ordered to go into the bathing room and bathe.

It was safer to do what she told me. I dressed in a hurry, pants, tunic, my usual stuff and came out to find the poor man being still verbally whipped, without a chance to tell her, so I cut in,

"We're marrying."

Irati paused. Her eyes went from him to me, raising an eyebrow, before she eyed my stomach. "I should expect so. But to sneak into your room. Do you want to damage her reputation? There will be whispers that the child is not yours!"

"Well, it isn't." I reminded her. It wasn't. And truthfully I didn't want anyone to believe that. I'd rather a bad reputation than Legolas not having that. It was his son. Boromir … I didn't know what we'd have. I didn't know if we'd have anything. "It's Legolas' son."

"And I know this! But ..."

"There is little chance they'd mistake a half-elf for mine." Boromir managed to sit up, slowly, though he stayed low. Probably ready to duck if she hit him again. He reached out to grasp my hand, pulling me against him, arm around my waist. "I could not take the place of his father."

Irati's eyes went from his face to mine. Something in her face softened. She sighed and threw up her hands. "Then I will talk to Faramir-"

"No." Boromir said quickly. He gazed up at me. "Not until she is ready."

He knew I had to talk to Legolas first. I sighed and felt the anxiety of the world start to creep in again. Oh god. I'd have given anything for that moment to be over already. It was like I had to go break his heart all over again. Mine too.

Irati nodded. I'd expected more, a fight, insisting we marry right now, I didn't know. But instead she was heading to the fireplace and was finsihing the breakfast herself, grumbling softly, glancing back at us. That softness was back in her face. It reminded me that, however hard she was on him, she'd helped raised him.

"Faramir will be married the day before the corrination." Irati said as she started to slide things onto bowls. "It would not hurt to join him. I could hide your marriage until the last minute, should it come to that, and Faramir would help."

"Marry together?" Boromir met my eyes and checked with me first, wordlessly, waiting.

I sighed. At least... at least it gave me so many days to get my chick-balls on and face Legolas. Or something like that. I wasn't sure how this would work even now. How he'd be the father of a baby if he wasn't here. Or how I'd … I didn't know.

But I nodded and Boromir squeezed my legs.

"Then we should. But do not speak too much of it."

"Of course. Now!" She snapped back into action, suddenly, as she pushed plates at us. "Both of you eat, and then Boromir, leave."

He stayed as long as he could, lingering around, but the second he'd put the last mouthful of food into his mouth Irati kicked him out. Then she had me re-dress in a gown. Checked my stomach, my muscles, pressing in, feeling for my baby.

"You are doing well." She informed me. "Your child grows even through this hard time."

"If he's half as stubborn as me then of course he does." I muttered. It was kind of strange though. I had been stubborn before here, before Rivendell, but it had always been internal. It had always been about 'enduring' or 'surviving'. In my world that meant I had to stay quiet, head down, and let people tell me what was best. And it had worked. But here? I'd suddenly had to take care of myself or get a blade in my skull.

"Then you are sure it is a son?"

"Yeah. I've dreamed about him." More than that, really, I'd seen visions of the boy. Cute kid. I breathed out slowly as a wave of affection filled me. My cute kid. That vision had Legolas in it. Maybe … maybe he'd get to see his father more than I thought. Maybe ...maybe somehow Legolas could be in his life.

"Many a mother dreams of her child." Irati sat down in front of me. "You have not had nausea?"

"Not really. When I get upset."

"Ah. You get upset a lot?"

Well, yeah, but I had a pretty good reason to. I nodded and she seemed relieved that at least I was having ONE normal thing about a pregnancy. "I guess so."

"Then you should drink more water. It will help your body remove emotions."

It would also mean I'd have to use the chamberpot more but ..I didn't argue. Just nodded as she stood up and made me drink two glasses there in front of her. She left me alone after a while, after promising to get some clothing altered for me, taking two or three dresses with her.

I headed outside after a while. My room felt suffocating. Almost the second I left the building, the second I stepped into warm sunlight, I felt him. Just behind me. Right beside the door. Had he been waiting all this time? Turning slowly, my eyes met grey, and found only a mask hiding his real emotions. Whatever he was feeling … I knew. Aragorn or not. It was time for us to talk.

Legolas turned and started inside. My heart sank as I followed him inside, silent, heart sinking in dread.

A/N To the Legolas fans- don't loose hope. In a review someone suggested I do a split... both couples.

So if I can find a way to keep them together, I will. :D