I do not own any of the characters or the Hobbit (just the AU storyline and my OC) those are the work of the esteemed and brilliant John Ronald Reull Tolkien, and without his genius, this and many other fan fics would not be in existence.
Please review! I love getting them-they keep me encouraged! J
Cirashala held the warm bowl to her, shivering. She wished she could scoot closer to the fire, but she felt that her presence wouldn't be welcome.
She had heard the insults that had been thrown at the toymaker as he prepared dinner, and could see that he had felt very bad about what had happened earlier. She had offered to help, not knowing if her offer would be accepted or not, but wanted to show the others that there were no ill feelings towards him from her in hopes that the insults would cease.
As she sat there nibbling her stew, having already drunk the pain tea, Oin approached her.
"How's your wound, lass?" he asked her. She shrugged, trying unsuccessfully to hide the tell tale wince.
"It's fine," she said nonchalantly, loud enough for the deaf dwarf to hear her.
Oin, however, was not fooled. He had been healing stubborn dwarves for many long years, and was more than capable of being able to tell when a patient was lying or downplaying an injury. He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Really? You won't mind if I take a look then," he said, setting down his bag. It was not a question, and she knew it. She glanced at the group around the fire, and some of them, particularly Thorin, Dwalin, Gloin, Dori, and Nori were watching the two and not looking very happy with the prospect of being kicked away from the fire.
She turned around, facing away from the fire and splaying her cloak out as much as she could behind her to help shield her from view. She reached down, and unfastened her belt, tugging the edge of the tunic up to reveal the bandage.
"I will be needing more light than this," Oin looked at her. She sighed.
"They do not need to leave the warmth of the fire," she said. "What about a lantern?" Oin sighed in frustration.
"You really should be nearer the fire as is. It is too cold for a human out here. Even they are cold, and you are not as hardy as a dwarf, lass," Oin looked at her pointedly, and she scowled and looked away.
"I am as tough as any of you," she said quietly, and the healer took a deep breath.
"I may be partly deaf, lass," he said, "But there are certain things that I can still hear." She blushed in embarrassment, and looked up at the healer. Oin saw a brief flicker of sadness and hurt, before the mask went back up. He looked over his shoulder.
"Balin! Fetch me a lantern, will you?" he called, before looking back at her pointedly.
"Don't want you complaining in the morning if you near freeze your fingers and toes off tonight," he said, and she nodded. She shivered violently as the wind began to blow again, and Balin sighed as he set the lantern down.
"Lass, why aren't you near the fire?" the older dwarf asked gently. Oin muttered something in Khuzdul under his breath about stubborn females and toughness, and Balin looked back at her, eyes wide.
"What in Durin's name are you trying to prove, child? That you can get yourself killed more quickly than any of us?" he asked. "Surely you are smarter than that!" She sighed and looked down and off to the side, not meeting the old dwarf's gaze. Balin sighed heavily, and reached for her blanket, draping it over her shoulders as he sat behind Oin to provide what cover and assistance he could.
She kept shivering throughout the whole procedure, and Oin was pleased to note that, despite the pressure of the warhammer handle on her wound, no stitches had been broken. She would have additional bruising, but she would be fine. He rebandaged the wound, before packing up his bag and heading back to the fire.
XXX
Balin lingered behind. He was a wise and observant dwarf, and had seen the change in her personality after the conversation with the two heirs and Gloin earlier.
"What is this really about, lassie?" he asked gently as she wrapped both her cloak and her blanket around herself, still shivering. It wasn't the words he said, it was the way he said it. The dwarf's expression showed that he really cared about her troubles, and she blinked back tears.
"You all hate me," she whispered, and Balin's eyes went wide.
"What?" he asked, looking confused. "Who told you that?"
"Why am I here, Mr. Balin?" she asked point blank. "Why did Thorin let me come?" The old dwarf sighed, but before he could answer her she continued.
"It is because of a blood debt," she said. "That's the only reason. My words of loyalty fell on deaf ears, and everything I have done has been to help you all. And yet, you all hate me-simply because I am a human." A tear trickled down her cheek, and she swiped at it quickly.
"No one hates you," Balin said gently. "They-they just have a hard time trusting humans, is all. We have been through quite a lot since Erebor fell, and there are many humans that have shown themselves to be untrustworthy in our time as wanderers. As far as the blood debt, that wasn't the only reason. Your words did not fall on deaf ears, though you may believe it. Unless of course, you were speaking to Oin the whole time, in which case, they may well have." He winked at her, chuckling slightly at her raised eyebrows. She looked down at her lap for a moment.
"Why must I be judged for a crime I didn't commit against your people?" she whispered. "I am very sorry humans have treated you so awfully, though I do not understand why. The measure of a person lies in not what they are but who they are. I have done nothing against dwarves that I know of, so why should I be treated as though I did?" She looked pointedly at Balin.
She has wisdom far beyond her years, Balin thought. Whether or not she sees it within herself is another question.
"Judging the measure of a person without one's own preconceived ideas of them is a difficult thing to learn," he said. "I am afraid that many dwarrows have yet to learn such a lesson. Even I, an old dwarf, sometimes need to be reminded of such things." He smiled warmly at her, before looking over his shoulder at the fire.
"And a lesson that young ones have to learn is the difference between proving themselves and just acting foolish," he said pointedly, raising an eyebrow. Cirashala hung her head, sighing.
"There isn't enough room," she said quietly, and Balin chuckled.
"Perhaps if you sleep like a whirlwind there isn't," he said, a twinkle in his eye. "But I can say for certain that there are two very confused young dwarf lads who do not understand why their friend has suddenly stopped speaking to them or accepting their freely given aid, and have no idea why you would think they believe you to be weak. I think they would be more than willing to make room for you. And I daresay, you would be much warmer between them. I don't know if you have noticed, but everyone is huddled rather closely tonight for warmth." She gaped at him, blushing furiously.
"Y-you want me to cuddle with Thorin's nephews?!" She fairly squeaked. "Have you gone daft? Thorin would kill me!" Balin chuckled loudly at the completely shocked and dumbfounded look on her face.
"Now, lassie, I never said cuddle with them!" he said, still chuckling. "I think the two of them would die of absolute mortification if you were to go over there and said I told you to do that! They would blush so brightly their faces would be seen for miles!"
She sighed a huge sigh of relief, and Balin shook his head.
"No, lassie. They would be more than willing to keep you warm and sheltered from the wind," he said, his tone more serious than before. "And with that light, flimsy elvish clothing, I think if you wish to live through the night you will need to sleep next to someone and the fire, otherwise you will likely freeze to death. It may be spring in the valleys, but up here on top of the Misty Mountains, winter never ceases, and the wind will be very cold tonight."
She nodded, and he squeezed her shoulder gently before standing up. He held out his hand and helped her stand, then grabbed her pack and handed it to her.
"Thank you, Mr. Balin," she whispered. He winked at her and smiled warmly, before the pair headed back to the warmth of the fire.
XXX
They approached the fire, and Balin went and knelt behind the two young dwarves, whispering to them quickly. Fili and Kili nodded, and scooted apart, leaving enough room between them for Cirashala to sit. Balin smiled at her and motioned her over. She nodded her thanks to the older dwarf as she stepped between them.
She set her pack down behind her to use as a makeshift pillow and sat shoulder to shoulder with the pair, who immediately lifted the edge of their own blankets over her shoulders, resting their arms on her back. They used their free hands to pull the blankets further around the front as well, wrapping the trio completely save for their faces and boots, which faced the fire. Both brothers could feel her tense, and the cold from her body seeped through their many layers of clothing.
"Thank you," she whispered, teeth chattering. "I-I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have snapped at you both after the incident this afternoon." Fili sighed.
"There is no apology needed," he said reassuringly, smiling at her as he repeated her words to Bombur earlier. "You are as cold as ice!" Kili nodded in agreement, not quite willing to meet her eyes yet.
How am I going to apologize to her now? He thought. Fili at least is likely to hear it. I may just have to wait until he goes to sleep then.
The stews were finished, and most of the dwarves had their pipes out. A few people, like Bilbo, were already asleep.
"When do I have watch?" Cirashala asked as Fili yawned, knocking out his pipe on the rocks at the edge of the campfire.
"We had watch last night, so we won't have it tonight," he said as Kili knocked his out as well. Fili looked at the other two.
"You two lie down, and I will cover our feet before I lie down," he said, and they nodded. Cirashala laid on her right side so as to keep the pressure of her wound, and Kili had lain on his left facing away from her. Fili made sure that their three large blankets covered all three of them as he lay down, also facing away from her. Cirashala wondered for a few moments how the bottom blanket was going to avoid getting wet, until she realized that the soft fur had leather on the bottom.
The leather on the bottom must be waterproofed somehow, she thought to herself as she slowly drifted off to sleep, finally getting warm between the layers of blankets and the body heat of the two young dwarves.
XXX
Kili laid awake for a bit until he saw everyone except Bofur sleeping. The cheerful dwarf had watch, and was sitting opposite the campfire. He turned around slowly, taking care to not shift the blankets too much and let out the warmth.
"Cirashala?" he whispered, tapping her arm lightly. She turned over, looking at Kili sleepily.
"Hmm?" she muttered, blinking rapidly to try and clear the blurriness from her eyes. "Kili?"
The young dwarf took a deep breath, not sure how to broach the delicate subject. It didn't help matters that she shifted to a more comfortable position so she was facing him instead of craning her neck around to see him.
"U-um," he said, swallowing. "A-about earlier….when we were pinned under the others…." He trailed off, his cheeks warm with embarrassment as he looked intently at the fur by his face. "I-I am sorry. I-it was an accident, I swear. I-I didn't mean anything by-by it."
"What on earth are you talking about?" she said, sounding a little like she had cotton in her mouth. Confusion clouded her features. "It wasn't your fault we fell and Fili's hammer pushed on my wound. It wasn't your fault at all." Kili looked at her in slight surprise.
"N-no, that wasn't what I-I was talking about," he stammered, face reddening further. Her brow furrowed in thought.
"Then what are you talking about?" she asked. He looked at her face, seeing genuine bewilderment in her gaze.
"N-nothing, it was nothing," he said quickly, not meeting her gaze. He turned over, relieved when her steady breaths started again a few minutes later.
Thank goodness, she didn't notice, he thought to himself. He was relieved, though still a bit puzzled by why she had refused their help. However, she was accepting it now, and for that he was grateful. She really would have been far too cold out there away from the fire, and with those thin elvish clothes.
Perhaps there is a warmer tunic in my pack that might work for her, he thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep.