Hello! This is a shorter chapter but I'm hoping the next one makes up for that. There may be some time between updates here soon. I have big huge life changing awesomely great epic things about to happen that will get in the way of stuff like this. But real life must come first sometimes. Anyway, this is mostly filler but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Thanks for reading =)
Chapter Nineteen
She knew he didn't want her coming with him but she wasn't about to stay there in that cabin. She felt as though Sophia was perfectly safe with Damon and Piper and she truly didn't think Merle would ever let anything happen to any of them. She simply didn't want to be around all of them.
"I'm really sorry about this," she muttered. Just because she didn't want to stay in the cabin with the others didn't mean she wanted him to be miserable all night.
He gave her a sideways glance and shook his head. "It ain't your fault. Merle just did this to be a bastard."
"So he thought that forcing you to share a roof with me was some sort of way to get to you?" She couldn't help but feel a little insulted.
He shook his head, refusing to elaborate.
She sighed. "It won't be that bad. I meant what I said. I'll sleep on the floor. I know you don't want to share your bed and I don't blame you. If I had a bed I'd want to keep it for myself too." She tried to laugh it off.
"You're not sleepin' on the damn floor."
The air felt too heavy around them. She didn't like this uncomfortable tension and the only way she knew to relieve it was to crack a stupid joke. "So, is there anything I need to know about you before we do this? Do you talk in your sleep? Drool? Sleep in the nude?"
He shook his head. "I ain't too sure about the talkin' or the drool but I'm not getting naked."
"Hasn't anyone ever mentioned any weird habits? Do you snore? I don't think I do anything like that."
"I ain't slept in a bed with somebody else so I don't know." He held the door open for her and she slipped inside. He shut the door, leaving them standing there in pitch darkness.
"You've never slept with a woman?" She asked, unable to hide the surprise in her voice. Sure, he was... Daryl, but he was good looking. A man like him probably had a lot of women.
He snorted and then suddenly a few of the shadows were chased away when he lit a lantern. "I've fucked a few but that don't mean I shared a bed with them. Is that what you're getting at?"
She stared at him, unsure what to say. Of course, she guessed he wasn't a virgin. He was Merle's brother, after all, and even though they were very different, a little bit of Merle had to have rubbed off on him at least a little. "Well, that's interesting. I'm gonna be your first. Don't worry though. I'll guide you through it."
"You're gonna make this more awkward than it has to be, ain't you?" He met her eyes for a moment and then looked away. He motioned towards the bed. "You're by the wall. I'm not getting smashed."
She nodded and crawled right in, pulling the quilt up to her chin. She was completely dressed. The only thing she had taken off were her boots. She pressed herself into the wall as far as she could. She knew he was struggling with this. She knew he didn't want her here. She wasn't bothered by this though. She knew it wasn't exactly her. He had been struggling since the moment they met and even though he had slipped up several times, she knew he was trying hard. He snapped at her. He'd said some pretty cruel things but then she would see the regret in his eyes. He made an effort where she was concerned and she appreciated it.
She had never met anyone that had such a difficult time with something as simple as friendship. But he did try and she was grateful for it. She was grateful for him because before this, she wasn't sure she had ever had a friend. Not a real one. Not one that always looked out for her and did the things that Daryl did. She would do what she could to help him cope with this situation and then tomorrow they would figure something else out.
He sat the lantern down and then looked at her like he wasn't sure he was going to be able to do this.
She sat up. "Daryl, I already told you that I can sleep on the floor."
He shook his head and then toed off his own boots before he finally laid down. The cot was narrow. It was okay for one person but there was no way that two people could share without touching. She was lying on her side, pressed against the wall and he was on his back, his arms at his sides and still she was pressed firmly against him.
He shifted uncomfortably and then reached down, killing the dim light from the lantern he had carried with him. He tried to put his hands behind his head but managed to elbow her right in the eye instead.
She groaned and reached up, covering her eye with her hand.
"Fuck," he hissed. "You alright?"
She laughed, even though it actually hurt a lot. He sounded so worried. "I might live. It's okay."
He flopped back down, his arms back at his sides and his body becoming even more stiff and tense.
She sighed and leaned up on her elbow. "You won't get any sleep if you don't relax."
"I'm fine," he grumbled a reply.
"You're stiff as a board," she groused. This was ridiculous. They were adults. They weren't a couple of teenagers that had to make this weird. "Look, we're friends that happen to be sharing an extremely small bed, okay? We are fully dressed. No hanky panky is going to ensue."
He actually chuckled. "Who the fuck says hanky panky?"
"It's valid. Here," she pulled his arm so she could use it as a pillow. She laid her head on it and then placed her hand on his chest. She felt him shift so his other arm was under his own head. His heart thundered fast and hard under her palm. It made her feel even worse. He was all nerves at the moment but she didn't move because if she did neither one of them would get any sleep.
It took him a while but finally he started to relax and his heart settled to a slower rhythm. She smiled to herself, feeling somewhat accomplished as her eyelids grew heavy. His earthy scent filled her with every breath and it was a comfort having him this close, even if it did make him uncomfortable.
"You asleep?"
She opened her eyes and yawned. She hadn't expected him to say anything else. His own voice sounded heavy with sleep. "Not yet," she whispered.
He was silent for a while. "How long has it just been you and Sophia?"
She frowned. This was odd. He usually wasn't one to pry. "Ed was killed in a car accident five years ago, but really, it's always been just me and Sophia."
"That bad, huh?"
She nodded and for some reason felt like she needed to be closer to him. She moved her head so it was tucked under his chin and smiled when he didn't tense. "It was bad."
"But you stayed anyway." It was a statement, not a question.
"I did. And then when he was gone, I was free. I ask myself why all the time. Why did I stay? Why didn't I try harder to fight back. Every time I look at Sophia I ask myself those things. I think I always will. I tried to leave a few times but that just made it worse." She had never talked about this but it didn't feel strange to talk about it with him.
"You seriously think that guy is dangerous? You think he'd try somethin'?" He asked, his voice growing harder even though it was still quiet.
"There's something there. I can tell. I just don't know what. I'm not very worried about him though."
He shifted again and she had no choice but to move her leg over his a little. Still, he didn't stiffen or try to pull away. "Why the hell ain't you worried? You need to be worried. If he's the same type of asshole as your husband was then you need to keep your ass worried."
She felt her eyes drift closed once more. "You wouldn't let anything happen to me. I don't have to be worried." Under her hand, his heart sped up.
"I'm not always around," he muttered.
"Are you worried that something will happen to me?" She asked sleepily.
He sighed. "Somethin' tells me that I need to be."
"You're sweet, Daryl." She smiled.
"I mean it, Carol. Don't let your guard down around that asshole, alright?"
"I won't," she said, sleep trying to pull her under. She didn't want to go to sleep though. He didn't talk much and he was talking now and she wanted to stay awake and listen to his voice as long as she could.
"Night, Carol," he whispered.
She smiled into his shirt. He cared about her. She knew that already but it seemed like he cared enough to go out of his comfort zone and talk to her about Richard and to ask about her old life. It was like he wanted to understand her better and it made her feel good. He was so much more than he thought. She wanted to tell him that much and she wanted him to know her. She wanted to start from her first memory and tell him everything about herself because she wanted... no, she needed him to understand her. But sleep was pulling her under fast.
The last thing her conscious mind registered was the arm she had been lying on was now slipping around her. She felt safe. She felt like this was where she was meant to be.