Warning: Brain may melt (Yours I mean, not mine. Mine melted down a while ago
I'm back! Stupid school...Welp, here ya go, folks!
And as always, I own nothing of Pokemon!
On a different note, Sun or Moon? Which one, which one?
"Is it this cookie?" I handed Jack another cookie from the unopened box I had in my hand. Jack took it and put it in a portable slot machine. After some whirling sounds, the screen on the machine displayed some random line graph and numbers. "Nope, not this one." Jack said, opening the machine to take out the cookie (the machine has it where you insert the cookie in the slot and take it out as if opening a cookie box, get it?). I sighed and tossed the empty cookie box to the pile of seventeen other cookie boxes titled Side Effects Cookie Set Number *insert various numbers here*. I got another cookie box from another pile and proceeded to get another cookie for testing.
This procedure is happening everywhere in the warehouse, fifteen groups total. One person uses the machine to check the side effects of the cookie while the other hands the said person another cookie and stuff. Most of the staff members needed the manual to read the machine, but Jack and a few others actually read the 3 inch thick book and memorized everything. The knickknack store (aka the cookie store) made this in an attempt for more sales and be of more use to the buyers.
Why are we doing this? Because I totally undermined the cookie hunting and now we're rushing to get ten gender bend cookies from a bunch of cookie boxes that has no 'this is what is included in the box' paper...Why can't they just list the stuff in the cookie boxes, I have no idea.
"Nope." Jack yawned as he handed back the cookie I just gave. I gave him another one in exchange and tossed the cookie somewhere behind me ("Ow!").
"What time is it?" Mickey from another group asked to no one in particular. "Five in the morning." Annie yawned as she looked at her watch. "Damn you, Ani..." Rachel muttered as she checked the cookie's side effect using the machine. "Nope, next."
"I can hear you!" I told Rachel. "Then do something about it!" Rachel yelled back. I shrugged. "Okay. Writer's Ability activate!" I snapped my fingers.
9:00 am
"When I said to do something about it, I didn't mean to skip time for the readers." Rachel groaned in the midst of snoring staff members, currently being the new flooring of the warehouse. I shrugged. "At least we managed to find the ten cookies." I said happily. Rachel replied with a clumsy retort before going to dreamland, using a crate as some sort of cushion for her arms.
I gathered a few waking staff members to drag everyone out and carried the bag of gender bend cookies outside.
"Where's the dexholders?" I asked a staff member. "On their way." he replied.
Then I saw the silhouettes of the dexholders steadily coming to focus. When the arrived, I greeted them and handed them the cookies. No one ate them and instead stared/glared at them. "...Guys, the point of a cookie is to eat them." I said after 30 seconds of waiting.
"Only applies to non-poisonous cookies." Crystal said.
"Well then, they're not poisonous. So eat."
"I don't want to see Ruby as a girl again." Emerald said. "But I do want to see Green as a girl." a staff member nearby commented before getting jabbed by the staff member next her.
"You saw him once like that, you can do it again!" I reasoned. "Once is one to many already!" Emerald countered. "It fits him though." I said. "No kidding." Sapphire snorted.
"You know, Yellow won't look that much different huh?" Red said out of thought. Blue nodded. "That's true." She turned to Yellow. "Aren't you lucky!"
"Lucky how?" Yellow questioned the brunette.
"Just eat it." I urged the dexholders again. "I didn't waste a good night's sleep for nothing, you know."
"Yeah you did." Several dexholders replied bluntly.
"Oh, just eat it!"
They ate it and swallowed. I waited for some sort of reaction. They all blinked in confusion. "What the-" Gold looked around and did a double take when he saw Silver. "...Oh, hell no!"
"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow. The others were also panicking after seeing each others. "What the heck?!" Green shrieked uncharacteristically at Blue. Blue looked at Crystal and groaned. "This isn't good..." Emerald muttered to himself as he turned around as much as he can to look at himself.
"Someone get the doctor!" I shouted at a random staff member. "Green is shrieking like a girl!"
"Aye aye sir-ette-ina!"
"...ina? Just get the doctor!"
"Ani!" Yellow yelled at me furiously. "Ah! Now Yellow's a monster!" I shrieked in surprise. "Wha tha heck is tha' supposed ta mean!" Yellow yelled just as loud.
"Ah!" a staff member passing by shrieked. "Yellow's speaking in a weird dialect while shouting! Someone get the therapist!" she ran towards the other staff members.
Sapphire frowned and started to massage her...breast. "...This is...oh Arceus..." Sapphire paled at her realization. She then quickly looked at Yellow, who was staring at her menacingly. "I-it isn't what it looks like!" Sapphire yelped and ran while Yellow started to chase her, rapidly yelling insults.
"Why is Sapphire's voice deeper?" I asked to no one in particular. "Oh, yeah! Now this is what I'm talking about!" Red said happily as he flexed his arm. "With this face, the girls are bound to fall in love with me!"
"...What?" I said, flabbergasted. "What about Y-"
"Ani, this is serious!" Green started to grab me by the shoulders and shake me.
"Who died and gave Green their emotions?! And why is his voice higher?!"
"I should be offended, shouldn't I?" Silver grumbled and cross his arms. "Why the hell is Silver standing up to Green?!" another passerby staff member gasped.
"Too many passerbys!" I commented while Green continued to shake me. "I'm taller!" Ruby said all of the sudden, looking around excitedly like a kid. Crystal just stared at the ground while hugging her chest, eyes large from surprise and red from overwhelming feelings, murmuring something along the lines of "...bigger".
Gold immediately cursed at started to tackle Silver, who immediately pushed him to Red, who fell down with Gold.
So many things were going at once, including Yellow still chasing Sapphire and Green showing a wide range of emotion.
"Everyone stay still!" I yelled. Everyone stopped.
Woohoo, charmspeak~ now back to the matter at hand.
"Where's Jack?" I asked, looking around. There were no more passerby staff members. "...Oh come on! Now there isn't any more passerbys?! Are you kidding me?"
Suddenly, the door to the warehouse opened. I brightened. "Jack! I-"
"Ani! I'm so sorry but we have a problem!" Jack rushed in. "No kidding." I deadpanned. Jack hurriedly came towards me. "I misread the manual and thought the soul switching cookies were the gender bend cookies! I swear their patterns look similar on the machine, but you have to postpone the event!"
"A bit too late for that now, don't you think? Now stop holding me from my shirt."
"Sorry." Jack let go of my shirt and I smoothed the wrinkles.
Jack then had a good look at the frozen scene from the confused dexholders. Yellow just managed to grab Sapphire by the hair, Red and Gold are still in a pile on the ground, Green stopped mid-cry, Silver looked bored, Ruby still had his arms up from cheering, Crystal continued to hug herself, and Emerald just...stared at Jack along with the others.
Finally Jack understood what happened and had the look you normally see on people's face when the reached a "Oh~! That's what you mean~..." moment.
"...Well?" Silver broke the frozen scene. "Now what?"
After we went inside and everyone had a seat using the crates
"So let's see..." I pointed at Emerald. "You're Red?" I asked. Emerald nodded. "Then..." I pointed at Red. "You're really Emerald?"
"Nu-uh."
"Ugh! This is so confusing!" I said, frustrated.
"I'm Gold." Red said. "And I'm Crystal." said Blue. "I'm Ruby..." Sapphire said in a quieter voice. "And I'm-"
"Wait wait wait!" I stopped them. I looked at each dexholder in the eye before guessing again. "If Emerald is Red and Gold is Red...wait, what?" I said, confusing myself again.
"Here, let's try this." Green said, suddenly having a whiteboard and marker in his hand. He did some scribbling before showing his work to me.
Silver is Gold
Blue is Green
Crystal is Blue
Red is Emerald
Gold is Red
Sapphire is Yellow
Green is Silver
Yellow is Crystal
Ruby is Sapphire
Emerald is Ruby
"Makes sense?" Green raised an eyebrow in question.
"Yyy...eeessss?" I prolonged it while still reading it. "Say it when you actually mean it." Gold said bluntly. I took the board from Green and looked at it one more time before looking at the dexholders. "So Blue's body" I pointed at Blue. "Is actually Crystal and Crystal," I pointed at Crystal. "Is actually Yellow?"
Nods.
"...Okay..." I said hesitantly. "...Now what?"
"You're the host, aren't you? You tell us." Gold, er, I mean Silver, said.
"Good point. So..." I said, changing topic. "How am I supposed to refer to you guys? Go by the body's name or the actual person?"
"Um...either way is confusing so..." Sapphire, I mean Ruby, said. "By tha way, why tha heck is your friends stalkin' us?" Yellow (Sapphire) pointed at the staff members peeking at the doorway, halfheartedly trying to peek without us seeing. "First time I saw Sapphire talk in such a...not so accented way." one whispered. "And this is the first time I heard Yellow speak in such a manne." another whispered back.
"Uh...it doesn't matter." I said without much thought. "What does though..." I pointed at Sapphire-as-Yellow accusingly. "Is you!"
"Me?" she pointed to herself.
I nodded furiously. "Yes, you! You're totally ruining Yellow's look! First off," I grabbed her legs and pushed them together. "Sit like a girl!"
"She kinda was always a girl..." Emerald-as-Ruby commented. Sapphire-as-Yellow forcefully put her legs to their usual position. "And I can sit however I want!" she glared. I glared back. "Yellow's character is supposed to be sweet, not barbaric!"
"Ha!" Ruby-as-Sapphire stood up and pointed at Sapphire-as-Yellow in triumph. "I told you you were barbaric!"
"Shuddup!" Sapphire-as-Yellow threw her boot to Ruby-as-Sapphire. He shrieked ("Whoa, Sapphire sounds like a girl for once" a staff member commented) and ducked and the boot ended up landing on Yellow-as-Crystal's face. "Ow!" she said. "Sorry!" Sapphire-as-Yellow apologized.
"And you!" I pointed at the body of Red. Gold-as-Red gave me a questioning look. I whipped out a giant paper fan and got in a baseball player person. "Stay still and no one else will get hurt." I said. "Whoa, whoa, wait! Why the hell would you-!"
"The last thing we need is to have Red succumbing to such perverted behavior!" I interrupted Gold the soul. "I agree!" Blue-as-Green stood up in declaration. "That last thing we need is Yellow fainting!"
"Why would she-" Red-as-Emerald was about to ask before Yellow-as-Crystal squeaked and covered his mouth. "I don't think you should ask that." Emerald-as-Ruby warned Red-as-Emerald. He then turned his attention to Red's body as it was flung through the roof. "When Red gets his body back, he's gonna blame you for his headache!" Gold's soul called out.
"Are you going to?" I asked Red-as-Emerald. He shook his head before hesitating and then shrugging as the final answer. "Huh..." I put my paper fan away. "...Well, it was technically Gold's fault, so we're good."
"Never mind that!" Ruby-as-Sapphire shook me hard. "Turn us back to normal!"
"I agree!" Sapphire-as-Yellow stood up indignantly. "I don't wanna have Prissy Boy in mah body!"
"And we need Green to be emotionless again!" Blue-as-Green said. The actual Green gave Blue-as-Green an "Excuse me?" look.
Silver-as-Gold stood up too. "I refuse to be in this pathetic body." he said with spite. "I agree." I reply, but only because he looks like he's going to murder someone just to relieve the stress.
"So we agree that everyone besides Gold wants to return to normal?" Crystal-as-Blue said. Everyone nodded. "Okay, so...Ani?" Crystal-as-Blue looked at me expectantly. "What?" I asked. "Your ability?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "...Sorry, my Writer's Ability doesn't work that way." I muttered.
"Oh come on!" Ruby-as-Sapphire said. "Your ability makes no sense, you know?" Blue-as-Green sighed. "Are you sure you're not just making a story out of our predicament?" Silver-as-Gold asked suspiciously. I backed away. "Okay, okay! Let me see if I could do something!" I said, hands raised in attempted defense. I quickly zoomed out of the warehouse and tackled the nearest person I saw, which happened to be Annie.
"Annie, you got to help me and find a Back-to-Normal Cookie!" I pleaded dramatically. "I'll love to help whatever you need to help..." Annie choked. "But...stop clinging to me before this stack of delicate props fall over!"
The warning came too late, and let's just said that we subtracted 50000 dollars (US dollars, mind you) from out budget.
An hour later...
"We're back!" I said. "Why do you look like that?" Emerald-as-Ruby asked me. Ruby-as-Sapphire gasped in shock and was about to tackle me before a staff member tackled him back. My hair was littered with dirt, sticks, leaves, even a rock or two while my outfit was full of scratches, holes, dirt, and soot. Annie went to the shower room to wash off her piece of nature.
"All in a day's work to find a remedy." I said tiredly as I held up a small bag of leaves. The knickknack store wasn't helpful, so I decided to just find the remedy the old fashioned way. "What kind of work needs you to go through a forest to find a bunch of leaves?" Gold-as-Red said. He came back during the hour I was gone. "Says the person who looks like he went through a volcano, several hordes of pokemon, and a good whacking or two." I said, noticing the two bumps on his head. Silver-as-Gold nodded in small satisfaction.
"Where is everyone, come to think of it." I looked around. "We're missing half the victims."
"So we are victims after all..." Red-as-Emerald muttered. "Crystal, Green, Sapphire, and Yellow left for some reason." Gold-as-Red replied with a shrug. "It's because of you coming in with a ball of trash." Silver-as-Gold grunted. "He came back flying?" I asked. The others nodded. "And from the same hole in the roof too." Emerald-as-Ruby said. "With trash?" I said. "He came back from the trash dump behind the Weirdo store." Silver-as-Gold replied monotonously. "...I'm a genius!" I said dramatically and proudly.
"What's the remedy anways?" Red-as-Emerald asked, pointing to the bag. "You're going to drink it's tea!" I announced. The immediate reaction was a defensive one. And wary looks. "...First off, you don't have prepare to do karate, Silver." I said. "And it's not like it came from the knickknack store. I finally got the recipe. Apparently these leaves are used to make the Back-to-Normal cookies, but you just have to drink tea made from these and few other herbs." I explained.
"...What's the catch?" Emerald-as-Red asked suspiciously. "Nothing...much..." I said. "You hesitated." Everyone deadpanned. "Jeez! It's just the leaves are bitter. That's all." I protested. "And?" they all said. "And nothing! I'm going to go boil these now." I huffed and walked away.
When everyone came back and I got the tea ready
"Here ya go!" I said happily as I handed everyone a cup. Crystal-as-Blue still glared at Gold-as-Red as she took her cup. Gold-as-Red cowered a little.
"Cheers..." the dexholders took a gulp. The reaction was immediate. They all gulped, paled, and ran for the nearest restroom.
"Oh I get it..." I said. "The leaves make you throw up the cookie...or something like that."
"ANI!"
"What? I didn't know! I'm sorry!"
The only ones who didn't react was Emerald and Gold's soul.
"Hm? What's the matter?" a staff member asked. The duo stared at their cup, before looking up and asked, "Can I have this body?" in a serious tone. "Drink it. Now." the staff member said forcibly.
"But I want to be tall!"
"And I want the girls!"
"But the original owners wants their body back! The drink won't work otherwise!"
"Emerald..." Ruby's menacing voice came from behind them. "Gold..." Red's voice echoed as well. The said people jumped in surprise and turned to meet two pairs of identical, red, menacing eyes with voices to match. The brooding boys were a bit disheveled from the phenomenon, but that didn't stop them. "If you don't drink the tea..." they said at the same time, slowly and threateningly. "I hope you have life insurance and a will."
Red and Ruby's bodies clutch each other and the souls within them are scared for their life. They never saw Red or Ruby be this scary, and never wants to be on the receiving end of it ever again. "A-Aye sir..."
"They seem really serious, huh?" Crystal, who's back to normal said, still bending over from the horrible tea. "Well...it was either that or they drank that tea all for nothing." I said.
"Here's your hat." Silver said distastefully as he handed me the Randomizer hat. "Thanks," I said happily as I reached inside. I looked at the paper, reading what it said.
"What's next?" Green asked as Blue trailed after him in a groggy manner. He seemed perfectly fine.
"Alright everyone!" I said loudly for everyone to hear. "There'll be a pop test tomorrow! Your homework for today is to read all those fairy tales!" I said.
To tell you the truth, I was going to add a knickknack store scene, but then I was like "...Nah..."
Yes, the ending was rushed. The usual folks.
As for the next chapter...You may have to wait until summertime.
I did a quick check, but let me know if there's any mistakes or plot holes and whatnot. Thanks!