Hey guys! Sorry but I have to delay Killer Frost's chapter. Well, this is a chapter written with rush, so I apologise in advance for the crappy language and grammar. So, hope you enjoy!

Barry Allen's POV

I stared as Caitlin walked over and stuck me with a needle, drawing my blood out. Then she walked off to run tests on my blood. I gazed at my scar-marred wrist, and thought about everything that I have heard, all the encouragements. From Cisco, and Iris.

For so long now, I have always blamed myself for every little mistake. A fireman stuck in a building. If I were faster, I could've saved him, but I couldn't because I wasn't fast enough and the structure collapsed on him. A car crash, which might not have happened if I hadn't created Flashpoint. Too many if's, second-guesses and assumptions. Come to think of it, I don't actually remember the last time I was happy, I had fun, or I felt... anything at all.

Each scar on my wrist represents a mistake, or a couple scars representing one. The reason I did this in the first place was because I believe they act as punishments. Now that they have forgiven me, could I forgive myself? Could I really, truly forgive myself for creating Flashpoint and therefore the horrible repercussions?

A wand waved at broke my thoughts.

"Ye-yes?" I looked up to see Caitlin and Cisco staring at me. Funny, where's Iris gone?

"Barry, have you been sleeping much?" Caitlin enquired, as if I was in the middle of being interrogated.

"Yes...?" I replied hesitantly. Cisco just shook his head and hid his face with his palms.

"No...? I don't really know...? I haven't been keeping track so-"

"And have you been eating?"

I was silent, then I tried to recall recent events. Last I remember eating was when Cisco shoved a fruit bar in my face and demanded I finished it.

Cisco just shook his head then sighed. He didn't even look at me as he said, "No, and no. See, the silence kinda confirms it bro."

"Which explains why your energy level is low for a human, not to mention for a meta human. It also explains the black out that happened in your lab."

Iris came back, carrying a huge box.

"Barry, I got some... things for you."

"Cool..." Cisco muttered as he rummaged through the box, tossing everything around.

"Hey!" Iris slapped his hand away. Cisco just pouted.

I walked over. Inside the box, it contained tons of nutrition bars and junk like crisps and most important of all-ice cream. There are also a couple juice boxes. Okay, so now they are not only shoving fruit bars, but all these high energy food at me. Splendid.

"Dude, you don't mind me taking this right? And this, this and this..." Cisco continued, taking a couple pack of crisps and a can of ice cream.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead."

Caitlin glared at Cisco the whole way he carried stuff to the fridge we kept. Cisco grinned back cheekily.

"How do you feel about having a pizza party in here tonight?" Caitlin asked. I thought she was asking Cisco and Iris, but turns out, she was asking me.

"Me? Oh... I appreciate it, but I have some work to do back in the lab... Captain Singh needed a lab report on that substance last a I remembered...and holy crap I'm at least 2 hours late for that report now!" I exclaimed as I dashed out of the door.

I could hear Cisco calling me back so I stopped and yelled, "What?"

Then a bunch of packet goods were tossed in my way. I carried them, and hoped that Captain Singh doesn't get on one of his furious rants.

I walked back home after a long lecture from Captain Singh. I sighed and opened the door. I slid into the sofa and sighed again. I have been crying a lot lately, and with all the crime fighting, I am totally and utterly exhausted. However, I can't very well show my team my weakness now can I?

Water. There's water everywhere, and I can't breathe, can't breathe, can't breathe... I'm drowning! Then I got yanked up with my hair as I desperately gasped for air.

People. A lot of people. I am surrounded with tons of people. I looked up, and saw... the man. The fireman from the burning building, the one that I couldn't save. Dig is standing next to him, holding a whip. I looked at him, pleading for forgiveness. Then without warning, the whip bit into my skin. I screamed.

And that's how I woke up. Screaming. Intuitively, I raced to the bathroom, flipping the place upside down looking for the blade. It is a little bit harder considering the team took all my blades. I started panicking and dashed to my room. I saw my phone, and like the idiot I was, I dialed Iris' phone number from my memory.

"Barry? Barry what's wrong?"

I started hyperventilating and gasped even louder for air.

"I-Iris, c-can't breathe."

"Hang on, Barry, I'm coming over."

I started pacing the floor, my whole body trembling, eventually too much and thus dropping the phone. I bumped into the wall, slid down, then buried my face in my laps and arms and started unleashing myself, crying like a newborn baby.

"Breathe, Barry, Breathe." A soft voice said as I felt a hand rubbing over my shoulders gently.

I tried, but I just can't. I just continued gasping, out of breathe.

"Focus on my voice, Barry, listen."

I tried again, but that voice seemed distant, very distant. I focused very very hard and finally, calmed down.

"That's it Barry. Breathe."

I turned around and saw Iris. Lucky this isn't the first time she saw me like this.

I searched around for my phone, then snatched it up and checked the time.

4:17 am. Just great.

"Do you wanna lay down?"

I shook my head.

"Do you wanna have a drink? Water? Soda?"

I shook my head again.

"Do you want some food then? I can order. Or do you wanna watch TV? I can put Netflix on."

I shook my head again.

"Do you...maybe want to talk about it?"

I snapped up and shook my head more vigorously.

"Then what do you want to do? Sleep...?"

I shook my head again. I cannot stand two nightmares in one night. My hand is itching for a blade to draw blood. My nails bit down onto my skin, trying to break the blood free from its restrictions.

Iris noticed, then pulled my hand away from each other gently.

"Barry, come here."

I scooted over on the floor, then leaned on Iris. I could feel Iris' fingers playing with my hair.

I must have fallen asleep again, because when I woke up, the sunlight was filtering through the blinds.

Maybe, I just might be able to get through this.

That's it for now. Sorry again for the crappy language and grammar. Please review! That'll be greatly appreciated. And thanks fro reading! :)