Authors note: So just like I promised everything is not over just yet but things are getting interesting. I'm still unsure of how much longer this story will be but I'm assuming that it's no where near done just yet. Which, if you're a fan that's a good thing! Anyway read, review and enjoy.

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Silent Caress

Mello sat still bleeding watching the red head finish his sixth cigarette in a long heavy drag. He wasn't sure what was suddenly so interesting in watching a junkie get his fix after stopping cold turkey but he was positive it was the only thing keeping him from clinging to his best friend and scaring the hell out of him. So for now he kept his distance sitting quietly on the other side of the table spooning him cigarette after cigarette until the other decided to talk to him. It felt like months, even years since he had talked to the red head and all he wanted right now was to hear the others golden wit or a snappy comeback that crossed into his mind as naturally as his fingers controlled a game.

"That stare is really fucking manic." The red head said giving the blond a slight frown before pushing his goggles up revealing a rare glimpse of his darkening green orbs. He almost looked like a pixie. "Seriously, stop it." Mello guessed that he looked confused because the red head continued. "You're staring at me with this really creepy smile and shit like you want say something sentimental to me." He smirked, "Finally getting in touch with your feminine side?"

The blond scoffed, "Like hell, since when was I womanly?" He leaned back in the chair watching the other raise an eyebrow slowly before glancing him over as if to say, 'really?' "You know what Matt fuck you. Do you know what the hell you've put me through for the last few days?"

The red head glanced around the apartment before his eyes rested on the living room. Whatever it was that he had been doing for the last few days it apparently wasn't living here. The place smelled cleaner, which mean he wasn't around to smoke. His games were lined up in a neat Mello cleaned row which meant that he wasn't around to play them. The ash tray was completely cleaned and the same was said for the kitchen. If Mello's dress and mannerisms were a clue to be held into account the blond had been away at work. He wasn't sure for how long the blond had been at work but in even a few hours Matt could manage to mess up the apartment enough to piss Mello off.

"Did I run away from home?" He offered as the blond gave him a sarcastic look. He winced before shrugging. "I don't know Mello. I don't remember anything after talking on the phone with you and that asshole crossed the center line. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to drive in bad weather. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. Kinda like you." He felt the glare from the other side of the room and snickered. "I'm joking but I don't remember anything after that."

The blond watched him for several seconds as if attempting to figure out if he was telling the truth or not. He shook his head slowly, "When you went off the road you totaled your car in the accident so your baby that you refer to as being your pride and joy no longer exists." He watched the others eyes widen but continued none the less. "I got a phone call at three in the morning saying that you had wound up in the hospital. I didn't believe it until I saw it but you had completely lost your memory. You didn't have any idea who I was or why I was visiting you." He leaned forward, "Matty?" He watched the other focus on him again. He had begun to notice the man slowly drifting in and out during his rendition. "Tell me what do you think about my trousers?"

The red head raised an eyebrow. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He questioned seriously taking extra care not to glance towards his laptop sitting on the table in the living room. Though he did take the time to light another cigarette and pull his goggles down over his eyes. "You wear those for your motorcycle right?" He questioned. "I'm not supposed to think anything about them. Right?"

The blond shrugged, "From what I've come to know in the last few days you seem to think I have a nice ass in these leathers and what exactly what it is that you'd like to do to me without them." He gauged the others reaction and after several seconds continued. "You also lost your virginity."

Matt didn't respond to the other instead lowered his cigarette and blew smoke into the others face. It wasn't as if he hadn't done this before but it was a clear way to show the blond that he was annoyed. "You're using my lack of memory to probe my mind Mell. You know I don't like that." He took another long drag. "If you're trying to insulate that I've been playing around for however long it was you can just say it. I'm pretty sure I'd remember something important like losing my virginity."

The blond gave the other a long hard stare before wincing. "Yeah, I thought so too." He shifted as though he were uncomfortable before glancing down at his own two hands.

The red head lifted an eyebrow before putting out his half smoked cigarette, "What the fuck is up with you Mell?"

"I read your journal." Mello glanced up long enough to see green eyes widen. He had no idea what kind of territory he was treading into but he was bound to find out within the next few minutes. "I thought after reading it that maybe having sex with you would bring the real you back. It turns out all you needed was your ass kicked." He shook his head breaking the eye contact for the first time since he started talking. "Matty I…"

"You're joking." The man whispered his eyes still huge as he watched the other shrug. "We really…I mean you thought…what the fuck happened to being Catholic? Catholics don't…what the fuck Mell."

He shrugged, "It was you that always said I was bad at being one." He watched the other before smirking. "I'm joking Matt." He watched the other take a few seconds before deflating. "I wouldn't fuck you Matt even if I was gay." He watched the other look uncomfortable. "I mean you may be but I mean that's up to you."

Green eyes flittered upward again as he locked on the other man's face. "What makes you think that I'm gay?"

Mello sighed, "The other you somehow got into your computer. I don't know how because you keep everything fucking locked but he read through it and made hints that there were parts about me in it." He shrugged slightly watching the others eyes narrow. "So I hacked your computer. It took a long ass time but once I got in I read through…your journal." He felt himself bite his lip knowing instantly he should have brought the subject up differently. "Matty."

The red head was on his feet almost instantly moving away from the other. "That wasn't for you to see! It had a fucking warning and everything Mell!" He skittered backwards once he noticed the blond on his feet and attempting to move towards him. "You spend every waking fucking moment keeping everything to yourself. You probe my mind to make sure that everything is okay and I'm fine with that. The only thing I asked was for you to stay out of my motherfucking computer!"

The blond nodded looking sheepish, "Yes but Matt you were gone…"

"You're gone all the damn time and I don't go through your shit Mello! I do what you ask me to and keep the fuck where I belong." His eyes had narrowed viciously. "What the fuck did you read?" He hissed already knowing the answer. He didn't even bother waiting for a response. "I can't even fucking believe this…"

Mello took a step forward extending his arm and grabbing the red head before he could make off down the hallway into his bedroom. "Matt! Let me fucking speak!" He yanked the other with enough authority to pull him backwards. "Matt I…"

The red head growled, "What the fuck could you possibly have to say Mello!"

Mello sighed exasperated dipping his hand down to cup the others chin. "Mail." He whispered his voice heavy for the first time since the red head had returned. "If you won't let me talk then…" He stopped instantly bringing his lips until they were pressing against the red head. This was one way to shut him up and show him.