Between SR3 and IV. Troy gets a call. V's got a few things to share.

Troy got the call at the tail end of his workday. It was one of the longest shifts he'd had in a while, and he'd lost track of how many times he'd gone over the same sentence on the report in front of him. Three hours of sleep had left him practically hooked up to an IV line filled with coffee, so when his phone started ringing he jolted in his seat.

He pushed the papers to the side, sick of looking at any of them, and rubbed his eyes as his brain put things back in order. Yawning, he pulled it out of his pocket with the intention of letting it go only to see a familiar number on the screen.

It had been weeks since he'd heard from her, leaving him staring at the phone as it kept on ringing. Steelport hadn't been easy going for the Saints to begin with, but work there had put more and more space between her visits.

Though what bothered him more was the fact that her trips to Stilwater had become the visits. Not the other way around.

A part of him understood why this had become the case. Half the city was covered in ads and memorials to the late Johnny Gat, but he'd gotten used to having two people in his apartment. Not just one. Having the extra space again hadn't been welcome at all, not when he still found signs of her presence scattered all over the place.

Common sense kicked in before the call went to voicemail, and he swallowed the lump in his throat as he answered. "Hey. Haven't heard from you in a while."

"It's been bad over here. If it's not the media, it's dealing with Ultor's liaison, and if it's not Ultor, then it's local law enforcement." She sighed, sounding tired, worn, or both, and he wished he could see her face. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss your people. They knew how to treat a Saint right."

"That's one way of putting it," he said with a chuckle. "Judging from the number of calendars I've seen around here I think they're fond of you too."

"Oh. They're fans of October?"

"It's a fine month. Some go more for summer, but I've always been a fall kind of guy. The red's hard to resist."

That got him a small laugh, and he finally relaxed. "Good, considering I'm a bit fond of Silwater PD's Chief. I was wondering if he'd mind me dropping by sometime soon."

"He wouldn't. Got a day in mind?"

"Tuesday of next week. I won't be able to stay more than a few days, but I'd like to see you if I can."

"Definitely. Give me a call when you get in and I'll make the time."

"See you soon, Chief."

The rest of the week bled into itself as he goes through the usual steps. Thursday and Friday were almost indistinguishable from the other, and the weekend was an exercise in how much red tape Ultor loved to wrap around their press events. Monday picked him back up, but Tuesday hit and flew right on by.

He'd been perfectly aware of the date, but had reminded himself that he wasn't the only person she saw when she visited. Business was business, and he tried not to scowl when the hint of disappointment refused to go away.

It was in the middle of the afternoon on Wednesday that he considered calling. He'd sent a text off the day before, but hadn't heard anything back. Not one word, and when worry started to mix with the other emotions running through him he couldn't shake it.

Early evening came – along with his third cigarette – and he dialed her number.

"Hey, can't exactly pick up the phone right now, but I would if I could. Leave a message and we'll work something out."

He lowered the phone and tapped his fingers on his knee. A buzz made his eyes go back to the screen, however. A message.

Sorry. Later tonight?

He sent his response as soon the message registered. Sure.

You're the best. I'll be in touch.

He held his breath and sighed before taking a long drag off of his cigarette.

Sure enough, when it was dark and he was ready to start calling it a day he felt his phone buzz again. A smile crept onto his face as he got his phone out to check, but it quickly turned into a frown when he saw what it said.

Meet me by the river.

Troy knew the spot. It'd been years since he'd passed it, but couldn't forget it even if he'd wanted to. Construction had done a number on the surrounding area, but he retraced his steps well enough. He parked in a nearby lot and walked, the street lights guiding him along as he searched for any sign of red.

The flash of his lighter dimmed when he held it up, cupping a hand around it to keep the breeze out. It took a bit longer for the cigarette to light, but when it did he took a decent puff of it and let himself drift closer to the edge of the water.

He put a hand on the rail and leaned over enough to watch the water. Small waves ran along the surface as it flowed, and he couldn't see any sign of what rested below it. It made him pull back before long; a chill running down his back as he recalled two other instances where the water had been just as black.

Glancing over to this right, he exhaled and noticed someone leaning against the rails further down. The lights hinted at red, and he blinked a few times to see if his eyes were playing tricks on him.

The figure didn't move, and when he took an experimental step forward the red remained.

Putting out his cigarette with the heel of his shoe, he walked over, aware of the sound of his footfalls on the pavement. They seemed so much louder without the cars and the city to dull them.

The red leather jacket made him hold his breath until the purple fleur emblazoned on the back convinced him to release it. She took a drag from the cigarette in her hand as she leaned against the rail, her weight on one of her legs while the other tapped the toe of her boot against the ground.

"V?"

If she hadn't noticed him before, she did now, her head turning a hair towards him. "Hey."

"You're a sight for sore eyes."

She turned towards him more and flicked the ashes off of her cig. "Sorry. I really didn't mean to bail on you like that."

"It's fine," he said with complete honesty. "You get busy. Lord knows how I manage to get home and stay home long enough to sleep some days."

When he reached the rail beside her she was looking out over the water again, her expression drawn and worn in a way he was all too familiar with. That didn't make it right to see on her, however.

"I was a little surprised," he admitted.

"By?"

"Your message." He almost asked why here, but he knew damn well why. What he wasn't clear on was why now? Today wasn't even close to that date on the calendar, but sometimes it didn't need to be. "Something on your mind?"

"I-" V's words trailed off, and the tip of her cigarette glowed as she inhaled slowly. The exhale came through her nose, and her shoulders slumped forward as she wrapped an arm around herself. "Yeah."

"You want to-"

"Ever wonder if the world would be better off without you…?"

He thought he heard her wrong at first. Couldn't comprehend it. Believe it. He felt his chest tighten as she kept on staring out at the city's skyline, and when she didn't say anything to contradict it it finally sank in.

"Like…things would've been that much simpler. Easier if I hadn't woken up, been here, or anywhere at all." She flicked the cigarette in her hand off of the side of the ledge and watched it fall into the water. "Happier even."

Her eyes drifted to his and he felt his throat close up.

"It's something that's popped up, and kinda been kicked around. Some days I can't stop thinking about it. What could've been." She mouthed the names, not stating any of them out loud and he knew every one. "I've been thinking about that a lot, actually."

"What ifs?"

"What should've beens. For all of them. They…they really did deserve better you know?"

Better than you?

The question hung in the air between them, the thin thread holding it pulled tight enough to snap, and he didn't want it there. Not that, or the look in her eyes.

"Johnny did too." The sentence slipped out, and she looked away. "That idiot thought he could handle everything. Probably would've taken a tank shell to the chest from those STAG motherfuckers before long."

"And would've shrugged it off like everything else. Isn't that what he does?"

"Yeah. He would've tried at least. " V started chewing on her lip, her eyes staring out over the water, and he nearly missed the tremor. "He never said no. He wanted to shut me down when we pitched that idea, I could see it written all over him, but he never did. Funny how of all the things he refused to do that would be the one that kills him."

"It's not your fault. He would've been the first to tell you that."

"You know, that's got to be at least the fourth time I've heard something like that from you. That doesn't make it true or right."

"And wishing you were dead is better?" She went silent and he worked hard to keep his emotions in check. "I've had you almost die on me once already, and that's not counting the time you nearly bled to death in my goddamned passenger seat. That's one time too many, and if you're looking for someone to judge you I'm hardly qualified."

"Because you're just as fucked as me, eh?" She chuckled at the flat look he pointed at her, and ran her fingers up his arm, tracing the line of his coat. "Maybe you are, Chief. Still, you deserve it too."

"What?"

"Better." V smoothed her hand over his coat, tugging at the lapels, and refused to meet his eye again. "How many what ifs are we going to have to play through before one sticks?"

Better. He repeated the word three more times, but it refused to register. "None."

"The car. The goddamn car." He tried to catch her hand, but she pulled it back. "That was on me."

"Do I recall you saying half of the shit I did to put me in that spot?"

"No, but-"

"Then let me shoulder the blame a bit," Troy insisted. "I've earned it. I've earned a whole fucking lot of it."

She stood up, both of her gloved hands gripping the railing, and he watched her fingers flex as they held onto it. "Troy. Just…stop. Please."

"Do I think the world would've been better off? You want my honest answer?"

She started to cut around him and he held an arm out to intercept her. The shove she aimed at it gave her an opening until he stepped directly into her path. "Get the fuck out of my way."

"No."

He wasn't sure if what he was seeing was panic or irritation, but when her lips curled enough to show her teeth he knew he'd lit a match. "Troy. Move."

"No." The next shove should've put him on his ass, but he stayed up, holding onto her shoulders as she did her best to shake him. When he gently took her face in his hands, however, it all came to an abrupt stop. "The answer's no. Want to know why?"

Her eyes blinked fast, a furious scowl still etched into her features, and she swore under her breath as tears started to gather. "Why?"

"Because when I look at you, you know what I see? You. I don't see the things you've done. I see you. Warm, gorgeous, and the most stubborn woman anyone could ever meet."

He brushed the strands of hair stuck to her cheeks to the side, curling them behind her ear. "Somehow you picked my life to stumble into, but the minute you did I gained something important. Someone with a good heart. That has trouble standing still. That puts a grin on my face on the turn of a dime even when she's driving me up a wall. That means well and does well."

"Shut up."

"No."

"Shut the hell up, because I've tried that. To do right, but I'm starting to wonder if that's for other people. I say I want to fix one thing and the first thing I do is break another."

"You're human. This is not something you're going to get right on the first try. Probably not the second either. You're not your failures. You're not your mistakes. You want to do better, I get that, but you're not the colossal fuck up you think you are. You never were."

"Not even when I keep on fucking things up even more? When I try to help and all I do is-" She bit off the sentence and her anger crumpled. Wrapping her fingers around his wrists, she clutched them tight, her nails short of digging right into his skin.

"I love you. You know that, right?"

She nodded and squeezed her eyes shut.

"All of you, inside and out."

Her laugh was watery, and she coughed halfway through it. "Every last little bit, eh?"

"Yep."

"Even the ugly shit?"

"I know you don't always think so, but there's a good person in there. She's one of the most ridiculous people I've ever met, but every moment she spends with me I'm fucking grateful for."

"Even if she's wrecked your last three cars and nearly strangled you with reports?"

"Those keep me going. You think I like looking at half of the legal papers Ultor throws at me? I'm tempted to ask you to make a whole day of these."

"I could always pay you a visit at work. Make the stiffs sweat more."

"You could." She smiled in response, something crooked, but present. "Though I'm not exactly a ray of sunshine myself. They're pretty ruffled to begin with."

"What's a little more?"

He could hear it coming through now, that playful hint that he adored. "Not enough. That's my V."

"You…know you don't need to keep on calling me that, right?" She blinked up at him, her eyeliner too stubborn to run, and her eyes seemed much darker than he remembered.

"I know."

"So, it's okay. You don't have to hold onto it or keep it safe."

He ran a thumb over her cheek and let his hands come down to rest on her shoulders. "Sorry, old habit." Pulling her closer, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss into her hair.

"It's nice. To actually hear it."

He whispered it, his lips grazing her ear and she hugged him tighter. "Like that?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe I should say it again," he said, his fingers slipping under her jacket to rub a slow circle on her lower back. "Wouldn't hurt, eh?"

She shook her head, and he heard her sniffle as she tried to get her breathing in line. "Guess being around's worth one thing."

"What?"

"You." He felt her kiss the side of his neck, the light touch almost a tickle. "Should've died in that alley that night, but you just couldn't help it, could you? Had to be a big damn hero."

"And show off for the lady? Sure, why not?" he replied, glad that his instincts had been on point.

His decision had been made in a matter of seconds, sirens on one end and disaster on the other, and he'd ran. He'd ran and fired as soon as the shot appeared clear, and hadn't even had the time to judge whether or not it'd been a bad call. It was only after when he'd seen her stare up at him, shellshocked and stunned, but alive, that he'd felt relief.

"What's my tally up to now, Chief?" she asked, her hands pressed flat against his back.

"Haven't checked lately. Could be pretty high."

"Someday we need to get a number down, because I've gotta pay off my debts somehow. Sound good to you?"

The kiss he gave her told her exactly what he thought of that.