Alaya drags a chair and sits down four feet in front of the map tacked to the wall. She stares at the points, telegrams and travel markings. She is looking for something, she isn't sure. She is transfixed, it has become her obsession ... any-time she is home she looks at the map. It is her only connection she has to her human wife. Fiona's scent is gone, not a trace is found anywhere in the home.
"This is not healthy." Mother Vastra speaks as she goes to the shelf to return a book.
"I know, I don't care."
Mother Vastra just shakes her head in disappointment while looking for her next literature selection. "You know what happens with unhealthy obsessions."
Silence.
Mother Vastra leaves the room and few seconds later pulling her wife by the hand. She points to Alaya whispering, "Look. She is at it again. This must be her human side, a Silurian doesn't obsessively brood."
"Oi, you too sulk. Don't blame this on humans." Mother Jenny looks painfully at her daughter and then back at her wife. "How will you react when I die permanently?"
Alaya spins her head to view her Mother Vastra's reaction.
Mother Vastra looks with unspeakable eyes, cups her wife's face and kisses gently. "I will not allow myself to put energy to the thought."
Alaya returns her attention to the map.
"Well your daughter faces the thought now."
Mother Vastra looks at her daughter and then leaves the room.
"Vastra! Where are you going?" Mother Jenny leaves the room chasing her wife.
Vastra goes to her office and before she closes the door behind her Jenny stops it with her foot. "We can't let her do this alone. What if Fiona doesn't come back! We need to reach Alaya now. Our daughter screams inside."
"How do you know?"
"Have you forgot your loss? Your sisters? Have you not forgotten Trenzalore?" Jenny grabs her wife's wrist and the coolness stirs her heart. "I do not want to stir up such dreadful memories. My love, please remember." Jenny then returns to the drawing-room. She drags a chair next to her daughter and sits quietly.
Mother Vastra enters the room with a ladder and begins to take down the map.
Alaya jolts out of the chair, stands in front of the ladder and does her best to hold her mother's arm still. "No, please." Alaya softly prays to her mother, "Please leave it."
"This map is only causing you suffering." Mother Vastra kindly offers as a reason for her current action.
"Please leave it up." Alaya looks to her Mother Jenny for assistance.
"Alaya, I honestly support your Mother." She looks to her daughter with tears in her eyes. "When you are home you sit here and do nothing else. What else can we do?"
"Tell me," Alaya looks to her Mother Vastra.
"Tell you what?"
"How will you react when Mother dies?"
Silence
Mother Jenny notices the small twitch in her wife's hand. She knows her Vastra is fighting anger. She can see her wife's neck pulsating as the Silurian's heart is pounding without relief. She runs to her side. "Please come down."
Vastra hears her wife's plea, lets the maps top corner fold over and climbs down the ladder. Instantly she grabs her wife and pulls her close. They hold each other creating a small world of their own ignoring the war and their daughter.
Alaya is patient.
Vastra moves her wife to the love-seat and maintain the close contact. "Please Alaya sit."
Alaya drags the chair to be facing her mothers.
"I would be lost. Simply lost."
Mother Jenny leans into Alaya's mother.
Mother Vastra continues, "I know what it feels like to have someone disappear. I was lost. I cried into the thick air and your mother didn't respond. She ceased to exist, but I had her scent on me. I could not forget."
'I have no scent, I wish I had a scent.' Alaya humbly tells herself as she clasps her hands.
Mother Jenny sits up and grabs her daughter's hands.
"I was completely alone. I ached and died within seconds. My soul was consumed by rage, beyond repair." Mother Vastra took in a deep breath.
Silence
"Breath dear." Mother Jenny says as reaches around to hold out her hand as Mother Vastra grabs it within seconds.
"Anger is always the shortest distance to a mistake. Please don't let any emotion be your biggest mistake."
"I understand. How do I get past this?" Alaya asks.
"You get up and keep your mind busy. Learn to give reverence to your emotions, learn to live your life. Even if it hurts to smile, feel guilty to laugh or when all you wan to do is punch something when you are listening to music. You will feel many emotions through strife ... find a way to allow both. If you don't it will be a hard when Fiona returns home."
"When Fiona returns all will return to normal." Alaya laughs out loud, "Normal. We shall never be normal."
"If you maintain this obsessive behaviour when Fiona returns you will find that it was wasted time. You have nothing new to offer your life, your wife or your family. When your children ask what you did while their mommy was gone, what do you want to tell them? Will you lie to them?"
Alaya becomes stunned, 'how will I answer them?'
"How will you answer Fiona when she asked what you did while she was gone. How do you want to look back this time? Do you want to remember yourself being a recluse? The choice is yours, the choice is ours."
Alaya gets up and climbs the ladder, reattaches the map to the wall and looks to her mothers, "I want to keep the map. It is important to me." Dust from the map makes her nose itch and she scratches the tip. She takes a breath in, on her wrist ... she smells the scent. 'Our Scent.' She smiles back to her mothers watching her, "All will be fine. I am my own enemy."
Alaya's mothers nod in agreement.
Nine months pass.
Alaya wakes up to the August morning heat covering her like a heated blanket. It was wonderful, she smiled at such a delight.
Since it was Sunday she just allowed herself to be lazy. She slowly uncurled her body, got up while stretching and put on her housecoat. She went down stairs to retrieve that paper, returning upstairs to the kitchen and makes herself a small breakfast.
Alaya takes her tea, toast with jam, and the newspaper into the drawing room. She turns her attention to the map on the wall and goes through all the war correspondences. She proceeds to make marks and drawing lines based on the latest news.
She steps back and evaluates the map and thinks to herself, 'I hope they have decided to west.'
Alaya eats her small breakfast she continues to read the whole paper. Page five under the fold
During a major Austrian offensive, Dr Elsie Inglis and another eighty women, financed by the London Suffrage Society to support Serbian soldiers in Russia, were captured and sent to prison. Negotiations have begun.
Alaya continues to read, she will discuss this with her mothers. At this time she can't form her emotions neither pity or anger.
"What are your plans today?"
Alaya looks up to see her mothers bringing in their breakfast trays, they sits down at the table. Mother Vastra looks up at the map for any new information and grabs the first sections of the newspaper.
"I see they are moving south. Let's hope they have decided to go west." Mother Vastra as she looks at the map.
Alaya nods yes, "Mothers the British Museum has two exhibits I would be interested in seeing."
"That sound like fun, what are the exhibits?" Mother Jenny asks over her tea cup.
Alaya points to the British Museum posting, "The collection of fans and fan-leaves by Lady Charlotte Schreiber. Exhibition of watercolours Both from the Department of Prints and Drawings and will on display in the King Edward VII Galleries"
"That is a large gallery," interjects Mother Vastra from the newspaper. "I would like to see the watercolors. Jenny dear, do you have interest?"
"I am not going to have a conversation with a newspaper." Mother Jenny smiles to her daughter.
The newspaper folds down, "My apologies. I appreciate your desire to see my smile. Do you have any interest in the exhibits?"
"I would be interested in both. How about watercolors this Sunday and the fan exhibit next Sunday?"
"Marvellous idea."
"I like that plan, but I must inform you that the fan collection, according to the catalogue, is over three-hundrend. Sleeping till," Alaya turns to look at the mantle clock, "One in the afternoon will not give us enough time to see the whole collection."
Mother Vastra went back to reading the newspaper, "We shall depart from our sleeping quarters when we desire, not a moment too soon."
"May I offer an incentive? What would encourage you to wake early on a Sunday morning?"
There is a slight clicking sounds from behind the newspaper.
"Vastra!" chide Mother Jenny with a blushed face.
"She asked an honest question."
"She is our child."
"She is an adult"
Alaya has learned to ignore their playfulness, but she has gotten comfortable and doesn't want to leave. "Mother, would it be helpful if I made breakfast?"
Mother Jenny looks back to her daughter. "That would be fine. What would you make?"
Mother Vastra continues to talk from behind the newspaper, "It depends on what you prepare. If I wake up early to find tea, toast and jam I shall go back to our room."
"I will prepare something worthy of your presence at breakfast." She rolls her eyes while smiling at her Mother Jenny.
"Sounds wonderful ... Jenny come look at this."
Mother Jenny comes to her wife's side. After she read the two lines under the fold. "I don't feel a thing for Elsie, but those poor women. I am glad our Fiona has not remained. Small blessings."
Alaya smiles, it was what she needed to hear to understand what she was feeling.
After breakfast the three women walked to the British Museum and on their way home they decided to enjoy the warm summer with supper on the plaza.
The following Sunday, at nine in the morning, there was a knock on the master-bedroom's door. Their daughter's voice is on the other side, "Good morning. Breakfast is ready." Jenny and Vastra both grimace. They listen as their daughter walks away, stops and returns to knock again. "Nothing is burnt." Both Vastra and Jenny spring up and quickly go to the drawing-room to see a breakfast fit for a queen. Omelettes, bacon and coffee.
Alaya waits, anxiously, as the mother taste their breakfast.
"This is delicious," as Mother Vastra chomps down with usual Silurian appetite. "What's in this?"
Alaya smiles, "I went to the library yesterday before shopping and found this recipe in Pot-luck cookbook. You can put any sort of meat, sweets or even just cheese. I made both of yours with a bit of meat and cheese. I made mine with mushrooms. It has high protein and should last us till a small tea at noon."
"Very good." Mother Jenny as she has another bite.
The they continue to eat while Alaya describes from the catalogue the various fans they will see in the exhibit.
It was another beautiful Sunday, with a generous walk to the museum and a light tea at noon.
Alaya allows herself to be sad all the while the glitter of happiness covers her body. She reminds herself, 'I went to the museum today to see an exhibit with my mothers.' She walks home talking with her mothers proud of her life and missing her wife at the same time.