Unbreak My Heart
Chapter17 – epilogue l
There was blood lying on the floor. The floor was shiny; you could see your reflection on it. Jenny didn't move. She kept lying on the floor; she didn't know what happened after he had pushed her down on the floor. It was dark, so dark. She hadn't opened her eyes yet. Everything happened so fast. She heard several gun shots and footsteps – there were a lot of footsteps, which indicated that there were a lot of people in the room. It was a lot going on; she didn't even have time to think about her pregnancy. She wanted to know about the situation, what was going on? What happened? But Jenny – she didn't dare open her eyes. She was afraid of her own thoughts. Her thoughts – they weren't exactly her happy thoughts.
"Jenny – Jenny!" She heard Tony called for her. She didn't respond; instead she remained still on the ground. When she finally felt him grabbing her by the shoulders, she finally regained some strength by standing up. But her legs and knees were weak. She could barely lift her body up. She used Tony as her support.
"Jenny! Wake up" Tony continued to call for her. Jenny regained some strength and felt life inside her again. She slowly opened her eyes and met with a blurry light and some figure in form of a face. It was Tony. "Director, are you alright?"
"Tony? What happened?" She finally asked him.
"No questions yet – we need to get you to a hospital" He quickly said and lifted her up in his arms. And with that she felt her eyes slowly closing again.
It was cold outside. Little snowflake fell on the ground lightly and slowly. Cars were parked everywhere on the street and people wandering around like crazy. "Ducky!" Tony called for the old doctor. "She needs a hospital now!"
"Oh Dear god" Ducky exclaimed after have taken a good look at the Director.
Bethesda naval hospital...three days later
After what happened, everyone has been working their asses off. They have spent time in the hospital these past three days, it was more than they ever did in three years.
"Ducky, you think he'll be okay?" Abby asked softly. "I mean he has to be! He's been like this for hours since the doctors gave him that shot…" Abby groaned. She haven't left his side, none of them did.
Suddenly Jethro slowly moved his fingers around; it was like his fingers wanted to reach for something.
"Boss?" McGee said. "You're okay?"
"Probie, he's been shot, course he's not okay…" Tony teased happily, glad to finally see those blue eyes of his. McGee glared back at him.
"Hey you think he still remember who he is?"
"What Tony?" Ziva asked.
"I mean, the last time he was this badly injured, he lost his memories" Tony answered.
"DiNozzo too much jabba jabba!" Jethro groaned as he tried to sit up on the bed.
"Guess that's my answer" Tony whispered to Ziva and laughed.
"Hey boss, welcome back" He smiled and tapped his shoulders lightly making Jethro winced of the pain.
Jethro took a quick look around. He came to his senses quite quickly and was overwhelmed by the feelings they channeled him. One person was not there, he quickly knew who that person was. He didn't remember much of what happened that night. Last thing he remembered was seeing Jen on the ground after he had pushed her down forcefully. He did get him – yes he did. Right between the eyes he shot him, twice. His eyes stopped at Ducky's and his good old friend knew immediately what Jethro was thinking.
Yes, she was there, she visited him a couple of times. Her injuries weren't that bad. She had a concussion and a couple of bruises. She was discharge just yesterday.
"She's fine Jethro" Ducky suddenly said, locking his eyes on Jethro's. And everyone knew what it was. The team took good care of Jenny. They took care of her when she was in the hospital and they took care of her when she got home. The only exception was for today.
"Where?" He asked.
"She's home, resting…" Ducky responded. "And before you ask – no you cannot see her today. I'll talk to the doctor about getting home" He said and walked out.
"Hey Duck?" Jethro stopped him. "What about the…" he couldn't quite get those words out, not yet. He hasn't gotten used to it yet, but Ducky knew what he was about to say and simply replied with a smile:
"They are both doing alright, very much healthy"
It eased his mind for sure knowing that they are both doing okay.
/
After a few hectic days in the hospital, Jenny was home again – safe and sound. No more exes after her and the baby were safe, unharmed and no secret agents running around her house 24/7, watching her every move. It was quiet and peaceful here. She was just taking it easy, no more interruptions; she had enough of that to last for a lifetime. But someone was still on her mind, no matter where she is or goes. Jethro – she haven't really spoken to him about anything yet. Last time she heard he had just woken up; Abby called her and told her about it. He was asking for her – her and the baby. She was there with him, when he was sleeping, but just a few times. She contacted his father and told him what happened and when he told her he wanted to be there, she insisted that his son was okay, he was safe.
Pulling her car in front of his house, she turned off the engine and just sat there in the cold, starring at the inside of his house. She could see a few lights been turned on.
She didn't bother ringing the doorbell, she just opened it and walked in. and there he was, lying on the couch with his sling up and his free arm covering his face carelessly. Her eyes caught up with a couple bottle of beers on the table. She turned and closed the door loudly enough for him to hear. She knew Jethro knew that someone was in his house; he is a marine after all. But he didn't bother looking up on who it was.
They were both quiet and Jethro lied there and she stood there watching him like a hawk.
Tired of the whole 'silence game', Jethro finally pulled his hand away and glanced up, meeting her eyes. He was indeed surprise of what he saw. He usually always knew when Jen was in the room. He slowly sat up, hurting his arm but didn't show it.
"Jen" He whispered.
She looked at him, fighting her feelings away. She didn't want him to see her so vulnerable she wanted him to think that she was on better ways to happiness without him. But she wasn't very good at that.
Jethro felt the urged to get up and beg her for forgiveness, but the fear of her rejecting him a second time took over and he maintained still on the couch.
"I went to the hospital and they said you got out" She spoke up slowly.
He responded by cutting off the small talk. "Jen" He kept his eyes on her body. "I want you back" He was serious, and she could see that look in his eyes.
"It was a deal breaker Jethro" Her voice trembling.
"Don't to this to me Jen…"
"You did this to yourself Jethro!" She almost shouted at him. "The baby and I – we're a package"
"Jen this is what I want…" He said slowly, trying to calm her down.
"How do I know you won't walk away again?" She asked seriously.
He didn't answer her. His face hardened his expression unreadable.
Jenny didn't expect much from this conversation. She just wanted him to know that she still cares for him deeply. And she didn't dare saying those words to him, not anymore. It was like her comfortableness sank down like a ship in the sea. It wasn't what she used to feel around him anymore. This time she was careful of what she was saying. This changed everything. She didn't even want to love him back again, but you cannot change what the heart wants. Things they both thought they passed, was still there.
"Can't lose you again" He said as his head went down his hands and pulled them through his hair roughly and carelessly.
Jenny wanted to just walk out that door with nothing to say. "You lost me the minute you gave up on us" She stated, still trying to hold her emotions in control – too late, as her tears fell down her cheeks quickly. "I'm not who you want me be to be Jethro" She mumbled, but it was loud enough for him to hear what she just said and jerked up his head and starred at her. "I gave up my position to Vance; He'll be taking over in a few days from now" She informed him.
"You'd leave NCIS?" Jethro asked, shocked. He didn't exactly expect this would happen. Not right now, not so soon. She loved NCIS; it was always work for her.
"I think it's time…" She replied back.
Jenny turned her heels and was set and ready to walk out his door when she heard his plea.
"Don't go Jen – please"
She turned her face towards him again. "I don't know what to do" She said.
"You're enough" He whispered. "You are enough" he repeated slowly, making sure she heard every word he just said. And for the first time in a long time, she smiled. Jenny smiled. "You are everything I want you to be"
She started to move towards him. She sat down beside him and laid her head on his shoulder without thinking twice. She felt his warmth. And without hesitating he laid his head on her head.
"Forgot how warm you are" She retorted and he laughed. "This, it doesn't – It doesn't mean you and I are…" She trailed off.
"I know – but I'm gonna try Jen. Not letting you – you're mine, both of ya" He promised and she grabbed his arms and hugged it tightly.
"You're family – I don't – I don't want you burying your feelings about them inside, just – just talk to me about it" She suggested. She felt his head nodding in agreement.
Tired of all the sadness and the atmosphere in the room, Jenny decided she needed some air. "I – I'm thinking about seeing Ducky – just to check up on the baby" He jerked his head up and met with her emerald eyes. "Do you – do you wanna come with?" She stammered on her words, but decided in her head, that it was the right decision, asking him along.
Jethro nodded slowly. He even managed to crack a smile. He got up and followed her out the door.
Ducky's house…
"They both good here Duck?" Jethro asked Ducky. For a long time Ducky didn't answer but Jethro was very persistent and everyone knew that.
"Jethro I know that I'm rather fast with what I do, but you need to calm down"
"Yea well, I'm just wanna make sure"
"Ignore him Ducky – I do" Jenny interrupted and glared at Jethro.
Finally they were done. "What's the verdict?" Jethro asked.
"Jethro you're saying like the baby's in danger or something" Jenny retorted, glaring at him.
"You never know Jen" He simply replied.
"May I say that the child sounds wonderful and healthy" Ducky informed them with a smile. Both parents smiled widely.
"But may I also suggest that you go see a genealogist, and do some ultra sounds" Ducky said and they both nodded.
It was quiet at the NCIS building. It's been weeks since what happened. A lot of changes have been made. Since the news on Jenny Shepard, one of the most respected female Directors of an federal agency, stepped down her throne, Leon Vance have been taking her place. And even though Vance can be an idiot sometimes, but Jenny's decision were clear. As far as Jethro and Jenny's relationship, they are still working on a lot of things. Jenny has been living in his house since she almost fell down the stairs at her townhouse. At least she'd agreed on living there until the baby's born.
It's still late in the evening and the team is still on duty, writing reports. Jethro wanted be home with Jenny, she was a little bit over a month pregnant now and she was always so heavy with the nauseas. It weren't just on the mornings, it comes when it wants, which made Jen not want to eat anything. Jethro were lost in his thoughts.
Suddenly three agents were standing in front of him. "Boss we're done, you should go home" Tony called for him.
Jethro nodded and took his coat and quickly left the bull pen.
The three agents stood there, watching Jethro leave. "Wonder how big Jenny is?" Tony wondered.
"She is barely two months pregnant, I doubt she's that big" Ziva retorted smartly.
"Okay let me rephrase my question; I wonder if Jenny is showing yet"
"And my answer is still the same" Ziva commented with a sassy look on her face.
Tony glared at her, scrunching his nose a bit. "McGee!"
"Leave me out of this guys! I'm going home" McGee said and grabbed his things. Tony and Ziva looked at each other and then after McGee. Then they started to grab their things and followed McGee in the elevator.
Jethro's house…
Jethro rushed to the door and opened it roughly. "Jen!" He shouted for her. When she didn't answer him right away, he called for her again and again and again. He was starting to get a bit worried. When she suddenly appeared at the staircase and opened the basement door.
"Oh you're back" She greeted, unaware of that he called for her several times and she didn't answer him. He glared at her. "What?" She asked confused.
"Where were you?" He snapped.
Her hands were on her hips now. "Basement" She snapped back at him.
"Didn't you hear when I called for you?"
She folded her arms. "Jethro what's the matter with you, tough case or something, or did Leon took you off a case again?" She asked smartly.
Suddenly his expression began to soften up. "Thought something bad happened"
"I'm sorry" She just replied that simple, didn't want to argue with him about it, because she almost beat him up the last time he overreacted on something like this.
"Did ya eat anything today?" He asked, changing the subject. He saw her hesitation. "Jen" he sighed.
"I tried to eat at lunch, but I just threw it all up again!" She defended herself.
"You need food in your body Jen…" He said and led her to the kitchen slowly.
"Oh you're cooking me food?" She said teasingly and earned a glare from him.
Jenny was sitting up on the bed, reading as usual while Jethro went down to the basement and worked on his boat.
"Jen" He said with a low voice, standing outside his bedroom, which she now used as her own. He didn't sleep with her. Instead he slept on his usual, the couch. They couldn't risk anything being complicated again. She wanted him, but wasn't sure if that was the right decision right now. She just wanted to focus on the baby and for it to be healthy. As for Jethro, he never pushed her for anything. He gave her space. But there were times when he wanted to just kiss her and make her forgive everything he did towards her. They were now back on square one.
She looked up from her book. "Mmm" She said and put down her glasses.
"I'm heading to bed, call if you need anything" He said simply. It was their normal routine.
"Jethro" She stopped him from taking another step down the stair.
He looked up at her. "You should take the bed" She told him, uncomfortably with what she just said.
He just looked at her. "I'm fine Jen, You're pregnant" He pointed out.
"I'm not kicking myself out. I'm just saying that you should do your back a favor and take the bed" She almost blushed. It was her idea to not get involved with each other again, at least for a while and until she has figured out what she want.
"Jen, don't think that you have to do this" He said.
"Oh for the love of god Jethro!" She exclaimed. "It's not like we're gonna have sex!" Now she was blushing. "M' just offering you a comfortable place to sleep"
He stepped closer to her and smiled. He knew what she was thinking, always did. He just nodded, walked past her and in to the bedroom. Jenny could barely breathe out.
She followed him inside and started getting ready for bed.
"Just stay on your side…" She said, trying to be serious.
He grinned and pulled the covers over the both of them.
Jethro were sleeping silently, he rolled around and tried to reach for Jenny in his sleep. She wasn't there and woke up instantly. He's eyes wandered around in the dark and was locked towards the light in the bathroom.
"Jen" He said with sympathy. He watched her throw up, kneeling on the floor with her head in the toilet. He went down to her and rubbed her back.
"I hate this!" She groaned and narrowed her eyes at Jethro. "You better never lay a hand on me again Gibbs" She turned and growled at him and he smirked down at her as he held her hair away from the face.
She was about to stand up when a new wave of nausea hit her and she was back on her previous position.
It was early in the morning and Jenny spent the majority of the night in the bathroom along with Jethro helping her. It was now bright and shiny and the sun was up. She still felt a bit dizzy. She already had a couple of tea and crackers. This was one of the reasons why Jethro wanted her living with him.
"Feeling any better?" He asked as he sat down next to her on the couch.
"Better…" She replied and sighed. She looked up at him and met his eyes. "Thank you Jethro, for taking care of me"
"We're in on this together" He reassured her and she smiled at him.
"It's been weeks since…"
"I know Jen – he's dead" He interrupted her abruptly.
She glared at him. "That's not what I meant"
"No, then what?"
She hesitated a bit and he saw that. "I know it's been hard on you since I told you I wanted a break from you after…" She stopped.
"Ah Jen – doesn't matter" He said to her and rubbed his forehead.
It wasn't true though. It was hard – hard for the both of them. They were now living under the same roof, for a while now. And they haven't said anything to each other – other than things about the pregnancy and occasionally work. Jenny was still doing some work for NCIS, but Vance had most of the weight on him, she was sort of helping him out on some things.
"It matter Jethro" She hissed. "It matter 'cause I love you!" She confessed, but she reckoned he knew it already.
Yes he knew that she loved him. But after what happened, he thought that she might just love him less.
"I need you to know how hard this is for me – it's hard for me being this close to you and not touch you!" She continued.
"'s hard for me too Jen!" He spat back. "This was your choice! You wanted this!"
"Don't put this on me Gibbs; you're the one who put me in this position in the first place!" She fired back at him, angry at him for accusing her…
She stood up a little too fast and her legs gave up. Jethro caught her. "Whoa easy Jen"
She was in his arms again. It felt like forever. It felt normal. Whenever he would hug her like this, it used to take her breathe away in a second. He tried to maintained himself. But for Jenny – she wished he wasn't. But as he said, she wanted this, she made a decision and this was it. What happened happened and no one could take that back. She was broken. She had once asked him to unbreak her heart. It was broken once and he did fixed it and made it unbroken. It was unbroken for a long time, until that happened. And now – the heart was what it used to be before – broken.
He looked down at her and let out a heavy breathe. "I love you Jen, always have – may not say it often- but hell, I do!" He said deadpan.
She looked down and smiled. It was a hard decision. He didn't pushed her to it. He gave her the space and the time she needed, even if she didn't know how much time she needed for herself to figure it out. It has only been two months, was that amount of time enough for her. She wanted him the first day she moved in here, but what if they can't work it out? What if they feel like they had to be together because she was pregnant? Would it be a different choice for the both of them if she wasn't pregnant?
"Our relationship is so unclear Jethro" She admitted.
"It's clear to me Jen" He whispered.
"Let me ask you something…" She said and got out of his embrace. "Are you still hanging around 'cause of the pregnancy?" She asked hesitatingly. She didn't look him in the eye, afraid of the look he'll give her.
"Jen" He started and rubbed pulled his hand through his hair roughly. "Didn't ya hear what I just said?" He asked her seriously. "I love you – what part of that don't you understand?" She looked at him with no words coming out. "M with you 'cause I love you – and the baby – just a bonus" He searched for her eyes and found them. He didn't know if it was all hormones or if it was him who got her so emotional.
"But we have problems…" She retorted.
"So – we fixed 'em" He simply said to her. "But no more 'Dr. Handsome'" He requested seriously and she laughed.
"You hated that name" She said teasingly.
"Hated more when you said it" He pointed out and she smiled.
She reached for his arms and he welcomed her into it. He breathed in her scent. His one hand behind her neck and the other around her waist, holding her tight and firm. It's been too long since he held her like this. He missed it, both of them did.
"I'll take care of you Jen – both of ya" He reassured her and he felt her smile against his neck.
"Just keep doing what you're doing – I like it and I think the baby likes it to, 'cause the nausea's gone" She mumbled against his neck and he grinned.
Five months later…
Five months later and still staying strong in their relationship, Jenny and Jethro still have to deal with the pregnancy. And it was even harder with all the hormones coming from Jenny that Jethro had to deal with – it was a lot of different mood swings.
It's late in the afternoon and a highly pregnant Jenny is in the kitchen making noises and messes all over the place, throwing and reaching stuff around. With all the noises so loud, she could hardly hear the door opening and shut.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs look horrified when he walked in and found Jenny Shepard in his kitchen.
"Whatta –!" He exclaimed. She turned around and looked at him apologetically. "It looks like a war zone in here…" He continued.
"I was just – I don't – I'm making…" She trailed off.
"You s'pose to be resting, you're pregnant – what if something happened?" He whined.
"I was trying to make dinner" She snapped, tired of him teasing her for her cooking skills. It may not be the best she can do, but she knows how to cook.
"You're not the housewife type" He retorted and she couldn't help but smile to that comment.
"Why don't I clean this up and we'll order pizza" And he nodded in agreement.
It's been months since they 'second' reunion and things have been getting slow, but Jenny can't help but think of certain things that made her think that way. Maybe it would be better if some things weren't this way. As they were about to clean up the Pizza stuff in the kitchen, she thought the best opportunity for her to tell him this was now.
"Jethro" She started and he continued with the dishes. "I was thinkin' – maybe moving back to the town house…" He turned his head forcefully. She got his attention now.
"What're you sayin' Jen?" He asked her seriously. "Why?"
"I mean – it feels weird living here knowing that you and I are…?"
"Thought we're okay now" He interrupted her. Sure things have been a bit rocky the last couple of months. But they are together, figuring out what's best for them. They have to adjust to the life they're living now.
"We are!" She hurried up and explained. "It just feels different – I mean we're not married, I'm just some woman you knocked up!" She groaned in frustration.
"You're sayin' you wanna get married Jen?" He asked her, narrowing his eyes at her.
"No – god no!" She said shocked. "I'm sayin' it's weird that I live here because you got me pregnant" She tried to explain to him. "It's hard to explain the feeling Jethro…"
He stopped what he was doing and put his hands on the counter, his head down and sighed, not quite happy with her decision.
"I can't guarantee you I'll be there if you need me if you're not here Jen…" She said tiredly.
She walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "I know – I mean I'm due in less than two months…"
"Jen – wait til' then" He suggested and turned to her, cherished her face gently with his hand.
"Jethro I – "She didn't know how to explain her feelings for him. "I don't know what we stand?" She said desperately.
Despite everything that happened, they are still unclear of what's going on between them. There are things that still need to be done, and old problems start to come back to haunt them. After all their relationship has always been on the rocky side and it always has been difficult to overcome a few things. As of today, they are still in the process of being a couple, at least that's what Jethro hoped for. After what happened between them changed a lot of things. Trust isn't as easy as they thought it would be right now and for that to be gone, they have to find a way back to each other and back to that trust again.
"I don't even know if we're together yet?" She asked in agony.
"Jen, we sleep together – that's the answer!" He said roughly.
"Please define sleep together!" She snapped. "We're not exactly havin' sex!" She continued to snap at him.
"I thought you wanted things slow!" He bitterly answered her.
"I did! I mean – I don't know?!" She says sharply.
"You don't know?" Bitterness came through his words. "You don't know if you want this?"
"Of course I do! You know that!" She sighed as if this conversation isn't going anywhere. "I don't know if I can trust you with my heart yet Jethro!" She finally confessed.
He was caught off guard. Jenny didn't mean for it to come out that way but she had enough of this argument and looking forward finishing it.
Jethro didn't know what to say or do. She had said it. She finally said it. He was once the one who didn't trust her with his heart and now the tables have turned. He was always the one who broke many hearts, but he did never know how to fix them. Things are different now; Jenny was in his life and was determent to keep her in his life.
"Jen" He started.
"I want you Jethro" She interrupted him fast. She took his arm, and hugged it affectively. He took her in his arms again.
"We gotta stop these fighting matches" He commented and she let out a light laugh.
They have been taking this conversation for a whole evening. They were tired of the subject that constantly keeps coming up. The decision that was made that evening was what they thought was best for them. The decision of still being with each other and keep together as a family was what they wanted for them and for the baby.
It is less than two months till her due date. And since Jenny decided not to want to know about the sex yet and of course Jethro had no say in that.
Lying on the bed, ready for bedtime and waiting for Jethro to come upstairs from the basement – Jenny was writing something down, concentrating on her task.
"What're you doing?" He asked curiously as he got down under the covers beside her.
"Writing down names for the baby" She said happily. Despite their fight the other day, nothing could really take their attention away from what's happening in the present. "It's both boy and girl names"
"Any good?"
"Don't know – help?" She pleaded and he smiled at her, taking over the paper.
"Ashalya? Timon?..." He looked at her like she was out of her mind. "You can't be serious?" He laughed.
"What?" She looked at him confused. "I like that name. And Timon was my favorite character in the lion king" She pointed out.
"'m not naming my kid after a pussy animal Jen" He snorted and she grunted at his comment, felt offended that he mocked her childhood memory.
"Fine" She said defeated and snatched the paper back in her hands.
He was quite for a long time while she kept writing down names on the paper. She finally decided looking up at him and found his eyes. He just sat there and starred at her. She was skeptical about this. "What?" She asked.
He kept smiling at her smugly. His hands reach for her shoulders and trailed down her collarbone. She got goose bumps and shivered all over. "Jethro what are you doing?" She asked half smiling at him.
He snatched the paper and pen away from her and threw them on the floor. And then he pulled the covers down and revealed her white silky night-gown. "Think you know" He purred in her ears as he came closer to her. "I'm a man and men have needs…"
She shivered at his touch. Jethro nuzzled her neck and gave her light feathery kisses on the neck and trailed down her throat and between her breasts. Jenny pulled her head backwards, which gave him more access to her upper body. "I thought we agreed on keeping this slow and careful" She stammered.
"-is slow 'n careful" He mumbled between kisses.
"I hardly – "She trailed off and moaned his name. "I hardly count this as slow and careful…" She finally got her words in. but he didn't care, he just continued. His lips came further and further down and ended up on her baby bump. He cherished it with his kisses and touches.
"Are you excited to have this baby, I know that it won't give Kelly back – "She started but got cut off by his kiss on her lips.
"S' not a replacement – this is our family" He said, looked deep in her eyes and said: "There's room for everyone" He smiled at her and she returned back the kiss.
"I love you Jethro – always"
"Love ya Jen" He kisses her affectionately, but his hands was kept on her bump.
He kissed her like they had never kissed before. It was passionated and with love. He broke away from the kiss and went down and gave her bump light kisses. "I love you too" He said to their unborn child.
It was fine, everything was fine now. Their family was complete now. For the first time, they now feel home. Home – home is where the heart is and wherever the heart was, there was also Jenny and Jethro – and there soon to be Gibblet.
"You know we still need to pick a name?" She said suddenly.
"Whatever but Timon!" He pleaded her and she laughed in the dark as they shut the light out and got to sleep knowing that tomorrow awaits them and knowing that good things will come to those who waits – and for Jethro and Jenny, knowing their love and their relationship, they'll overcome anything on their paths.
Holy crap…it's done! Wait – its one more epilogue since you guys were so kind to leave such beautiful reviews ^^ (happy face). The last epilogue will not be as long as the other chapters I've written, but it's still an epilogue. Stay tuned my fellow readers!
Don't go away yet, one more to go!
More reviews? Pretty please XD
XOXO
/Julia