[authors note: So here is the next installment. For everyone who had been wanting something good and happy to happen here you are. It's still no where near the end of the story so be looking forward to more soon. Whenever I find the time between 18 credits and reading. I'll start procrastinating soon, don't worry. So Matt and Mello fans you know the deal.]

Unfinished beginnings

Mello afforded himself a glance sideways towards the red head that hadn't spoken to him since he decided where they would be going to eat. It was nice enough to Matt to offer to drive them both but Mello wasn't sure why he accepted when he knew it was going to be awkward. The other kept his eyes on the road even when he was reaching for something away from the road. It upset Mello that Matt would rather reach for something blindly then actually look at him now.

"Matt, I'm sorry." He began unsure of where the rest of the sentence was going to come from. "I didn't mean most of what I said." He couldn't remember what he had even yelled at the red head just that it was enough to make him go silent. "We've been friends since we were little and you should know by now that I get carried away. I can't control my emotions nearly as well as I wished I could. You upset me, but all of this isn't my fault. The majority of it is your fault."

Matt still didn't bother to glance over. "Okay. It's my entire fault." He responded quietly switching the gear forcing the car into a higher speed before pressing the gas all the way down and speeding through traffic. "It's my fault that you read my journal. It's my fault that I lost my memory. It's my fault that you kissed me. It's my fault that I love you." He shrugged finally looking at the other. "I knew all of this before I came out here so what exactly did you want to talk to me about Mell?" He questioned knowing that the other didn't have an answer for it. The blond only knew that he wanted him to come home and that was something that wasn't going to be happening anytime soon.

Mello sighed, I don't know Matt. I knew that I wanted to see you because I didn't want for things to end this way. I feel bad for what I've done and every time we end up talking about it something bad happens. This isn't the way it should be. I know there should be way more to this but I just don't want our friendship to crumble because you can't get over a puppy crush and I have anger problems." He winced at his own words. He wasn't supposed to admit that out loud. Everyone already knew what was wrong with him, admitting it out loud would only make the problem real. "

Green eyes slowly shifted back to the road. For once Matt wasn't smoking, he was actually thinking. "I can't get over my puppy crush." He repeated the sides of his mouth tilting upwards almost as if he were smirking but his voice came back cold. "If I could get over my puppy crush I could leave you alone completely and you'd never have to worry about kissing me again. I could move on and fall in love with someone else. Someone that…" He paused for a second before sighing, "Someone that would actually love me back." He replied finally.

The blond didn't respond instead keeping his gaze outside the window. Is that all that Matt really saw in their relationship? The only reason he had decided to stay for so long was because he loved him? It wasn't because they were friends. He almost wanted to cry at the others words but instead he folded his arms over his chest.

The only way that Matt would stay with him was if he dated him. He wasn't sure how well that would work firstly because he didn't consider himself gay and secondly it would just be playing with Matt's emotions if he didn't feel anything or the same way. Did he feel the same way? Sometimes, he could imagine Matt being attractive. He could imagine the quiet red head looking presentable. He had beautiful green eyes that whenever he could manage to get a glimpse of them would make him stop and stare. His smile was enough to make him want to see it every day and Matt was the thing that he wanted to see when he came home. He remember quite a few times that he came home and the red head was gone doing some form of mission and he was disappointed. Matty was supposed to always be there for him.

Matt was the one that was there for him when he found out that L was dead and he had lost the position to Near. Matt was the one he went two when he first started losing to Near and dropping off into second place. Matt was the one he came back to when half his face was burnt off. Matt was the only person that wanted to look at him now.

Deep down he had always knew that Matt was in love with him. Even when they were children he had always had an idea but he never believed that he had used it again him. He glanced over noticing that the red head seemed tensed. Maybe, it wouldn't be a bad an idea after all to attempt to date Matt. He might even like it.

The red head shifted to the side as he drifted a corner to pull into the restaurant. "Mello, stop staring at me. It's unnerving and awkward."

The blond nearly blushed, "Sorry. Are we here?" He asked as the other pulled into a parking spot further back than the other cars.

Matt nodded, "Were you not paying attention. It's not like you to let your mind wander." He gave the other a suspicious glance before shrugging slightly.

Mello took in a deep breath watching with a slight pained expression as the red head unbuckled his seat belt and made to get out of the car. His hand shot out grasping the others stripped jacket to pull him back. Matt looked slightly stunned before his expression settled into blankness once more. "Yeah?" He questioned giving the other a slightly odd look. "What's wrong?"

"Matt, I was thinking about everything and how it all turned out for us." He sighed unsure of exactly how this was going to sound. "I understand how you feel about me, I know that you don't think I do but I do." He watched a confused look give way to slight annoyance. "Just hear me out, I know you left trying to get away from me because of how you feel. I know that and what if I felt the same way and maybe want to give us a go?" He whispered softly.

"You just said that you weren't gay Mello. Don't make fun of me this is exactly what I was just saying. Don't use my emotions against me." He pulled his goggles over his head to expose his eyes. "You don't feel the same way Mello, I know I've watched you for years."

The blond shook his head, "Matt, I don't think that's true it's just my religion…" He sighed. "I'm being serious right now Matt, I'm actually giving you an opening. Are you turning me down after telling me before that the position will always be open for me?"

The man ran his fingers through his hair exposing one of the green eyes that usually hide form the world. "Are you being serious Mell?" He whispered as the blond nodded slowly slight color rising to his cheeks showing the red head that he was blushing. The blond was actually serious about this. There was no way that the blond was actually giving him a chance.

"Are you turning me down Matt?" He asked quietly attempting to hide his face under his fringe but it didn't work nearly as well as Matt's did.

The others eye widened, "No. Hell no , not if you're being serious." His cheek twitched slightly before he cracked a grin. "You don't have to force yourself."

"Matt."

"I mean if you really feel uncomfortable and your religion is such a problem…" He whispered feeling himself exhale.

"Matt."

"Yeah?"

"Shut the hell up."