Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of these characters. No copyright infringement is intended

When I woke, the first thing I thought about was Edward. Sitting upright in bed, I realized that I was alone. Quickly, I was up and out of bed and ran to Edward's room. I heard voices coming from inside so I pause outside of the door.

"Edward are you listening to me? Please son, I need to know that you understand what I am saying to you."

I didn't hear a response, so assumed that Edward must've nodded.

"Okay, if you need anything please come to me, I can help you. If you need me to call Janet then…right then, I won't, I promise. Are you going to come downstairs? I know that your Mom is worried about you and we need to work this out together as a family where we go from here. I'm going down now. Okay?"

I stepped back from the door and waited for Carlisle to come out. As he emerged, gently closing the door behind him, he turned to me, a grimace marring his face. Panic courses through me.

"Carlisle? What's wrong?"

He led me downstairs to the kitchen before he spoke keeping his voice low. "Edward is okay, however, he is not speaking to me. He seems to be withdrawn and distant, but given what he has been through that comes as no surprise to me."

I nodded slowly, I couldn't pretend to understand and I knew that I had to ask as fear gripped me,

"Janet? Is she being brought in."

Carlisle shook his head slowly, "No. I don't think that will do him any good right now. I haven't ruled it out altogether, but I have to put the wellbeing of our son first."

I smiled at him, and started to prepare breakfast. I knew that last night was tiring for everyone and I wanted to put us back on track with a warm family meal. The thought of getting us all together once again was something that I wanted. Making Edwards favourites would be a great place to start. Normally reserved for weekends I cooked up a storm, pancakes, maple syrup and then bacon and eggs. That would be a great start, tonight I would also think about making something special for dinner too. I just didn't want to overwhelm him. I knew that was probably too little too late but I needed to get some semblance of normality back in our lives, and as far as I was concerned, the sooner that happened, the better.

Rose and Emmett were the first ones to join us in the kitchen and no one spoke, we were all emotionally drained following last night, and I honestly didn't know what to say to them. I was also concerned about Edward. Eventually he joined us just as I finished putting the food on the table. Without thinking I rushed towards him to give him a hug, however I felt sick to my stomach when he visibly flinched away from me. Everyone noticed his reaction, and I turned away quickly to try and hide my upset. Rose quickly joins me, and reassuringly puts her arm around me. I smiled at her to say that I was okay without speaking.

Breakfast was a subdued affair, even Emmett was unusually quiet. I was worried as Edward did not speak a word. He simply nodded or shrugged when anyone spoke to him. I kept glancing at Carlisle who simply nodded, discreetly trying to give me some comfort. It did, although briefly. I hoped that he would speak but he didn't. Even when I asked him a direct question, he responded with a shrug. I knew that this would take some time to break through his self defense mechanism, and I would be there every step of the way. I wouldn't give up on my son.

The rest of the day was spent walking on eggshells around Edward. He withdrew to his room, or spent time just mindlessly hopping through the t.v. channels. Every time I went near him, he would ignore me, just responding with visual acknowledgements. Every part of me felt that we should call Janet, have her come and talk this through with us. I for one had no idea how to deal with someone who had completely withdrawn into themselves but Carlisle said to give him a chance. He had been through so much that he just needed time to process it all. Me? Selfishly, I just wanted my son back.

I expected that first day to be an end to it. But no, the silent behavior carried into the following Carlisle's instructions, we carried on as normal, not treating him any differently, showing him that we were there for him. The one thing that I wanted was to sit down with Edward and talk to him about Bella and Tanya. I was delighted that he had found someone like Bella to love and really wished that he had been more open with me. I was devastated to find that he had been so betrayed and I wanted to talk to her, get her side of the story. All I knew what I had been told and I wanted to know more. Seeing as Edward wasn't talking, there was only one other person I could ask and that was Bella. I tried calling her cell and home numbers but both went unanswered.

On the afternoon of Edward's fourth day of silence I was nearly at my wits end so I took the car and drove to the beach at La Push. Something about the emptiness there drew me to it, I walked down the shoreline the only sounds I heard were the gulls as they circled above me and the white tipped waves as they crashed against the sands. I saw a figure huddled on the beach, they looked as if they were upset and my maternal instinct told me to go to them. As I drew closer, I could hear sobs coming from her. I could not see who it was as her face was hidden in her arms which were resting on the knees she had drawn up to her chest. I crouched down beside her, asking in a gentle voice.

"Are you okay?" Knowing that she clearly wasn't. A tear stained face greeted me, and then panic quickly crossed it as she scrambled to her feet and backed away from me as if I was the enemy. Never turning away from me, she continued to take steps away from me as she said.

"I'm sorry, so sorry." Over and over again. I needed to let her know it was okay.

"Bella, it's okay, please?" I held my hands up to show that I wasn't going to hurt her, she continued to back away from me and then she stumbled over a rock that was jutting out of the sand and that caused her to fall backwards. She screamed out in pain, grasping her ankle. I was next to her in an instant.

"Leave me alone, please. I just want to be alone." She cried.

"Oh Bella! I'm so sorry, are you okay? Well obviously you're not. Let me look at it for you, please?"

She nodded slightly before she let go of her ankle and I lifted the leg of her jeans to have a look.

"We need to get this looked at. I will take you to Carlisle."

A look of panic crossed her face as she squealed out, "No! I cannot see him, he won't have anything to do with me, Edward, made that quite clear. Please, don't take me to your house, I couldn't bear to hurt him anymore. It's better if I don't see him. Please Esme?"

I was confused. I knew that Rose was mad at Bella but her reaction to possibly seeing Edward stunned me. I would've thought that seeing her would have been what he needed. I thought they obviously need to talk after hearing what Tanya had told him, that Bella was not in the wrong for the revelation at the dance. I also knew that I wanted to talk to her, to get her side of things.

"Bella, it's fine. Carlisle is at the hospital, I will take you there."

She nodded at me in response and I helped her to her feet. "Did you bring your car?" She simply shook her head. We made slow progress back to my car. I didn't think that she had done anything serious to her ankle, but wanted to make sure.

The drive to the hospital was silent, it was awkward. I wanted so much to know what happened between them and that night at the dance that would drive my son to be so filled with hate for her and himself. I had called Carlisle to tell him we were coming. I could see he was pacing outside the entrance and looked very relieved as we pulled up. Ever the gentleman, he helped Bella out of the car and into a waiting wheelchair. She mumbled about this being too much fuss but we both ignored her. Once settled in a cubicle, Carlisle examined her ankle and said that it was a simple sprain. He applied a fabric bandage and told her to rest and keep her weight off it for the next few dayst. Silence reigned between us as I drove her home. Once we pulled up outside I asked,

"Is your father home?" She shook her head. I helped her inside getting her settled on the couch and made it clear that I wasn't leaving. "Bella, I really need to talk to you, sweetheart. I think you know what about."

She frantically tried to blink the tears that filled her eyes away, but they would not be hidden. I smiled at her, taking her trembling hand in mine.

"Bella, it's okay, I know. I have found out so much since, well, you know since when. I know that you were involved with Edward, but nothing more than that. I also know that it was not directly your fault that he ended up trying to…" I couldn't bring myself to say the words, they caught in my throat. "Well, you know what. There is so much that I don't know about my son and my eyes have been well and truly opened. What I do need from you is to hear your side of things - the truth. I want you to be honest with me, Bella. I care deeply and just want to see you both happy and well. This is not doing anyone any good. I have Edward at home and he… well, he isn't himself at the moment."

A look of panic crossed her face, "What do you mean he isn't himself? What's wrong with him? He's not back in hospital is he?" A sob ripped through her chest.

"Oh Bella, sweetheart! No he isn't, but I am very worried about him." I sighed "Since the day after he came out of hospital, there was an incident. He's been, well withdrawn since and I don't know what to do to reach him, it's killing me to see him like this. I worry that if things don't improve we might just have to have him admitted to a clinic. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want my son back, I can't lose him, I… I just can't."

I found that there were tears falling down my cheeks, and Bella's emotional wall had also crumbled. We sat there staring at one another, both crying openly, showing each other the love that we had in our hearts for my son. Mine was the love of a mother for her child, raw and unconditional; hers was the love that you feel maybe once in your lifetime, the love that I had for
Carlisle with every beat of my heart since the moment I met him. Over the next two hours I spent time with Bella, listening to her tell me everything. From the first time she saw him, to the fateful events that night at the dance. She then told me how she tried so hard to put it right, but that he rejected her, refused to listen and told her to leave him alone. Those things in which she did, despite the fact that they were not what she felt was right. My heart went out to her. It hurt me to hear they had been through so much and were so quite obviously in love. I was unaware of any of this, blind to the fact that son, my beautiful baby boy had been in love for the first time, and ended up being hurt in the worst possible way. On top of that, he felt couldn't reach out to me, tell me about it, and that broke my heart as I felt like a failure as a parent.

Once the tears had dried up, we made our way into the kitchen and I made us hot chocolate. After the break, we sat down together once again and I told her what I knew from Tanya's revelation. She sat there with her face like stone, listening and taking in everything that I said, looking emotionless and unmoving. This unnerved me. If I was being told this news I would be climbing the walls and swearing to have my revenge on them, but maybe she was different than me. Her father coming home disturbed our conversation, and he burst through the door shouting for her. Then he saw me sitting there.

"Ah Mrs. Cullen, how nice to see you. What do we owe this unexpected pleasure of a visit from you?"

He looked between the two of us, and Bella shuffled in her seat. I needed to take control of the situation.

"Chief Swan, please call me Esme." I flashed him my best smile, "I'm sorry I should really be leaving now, but Bella had a small accident earlier, well it was my fault really, she tripped and hurt her ankle." He glared at her muttering something under his breath about medical bills, and I cut him off. "Chief Swan my husband Carlisle has treated her ankle, it's nothing serious just a light sprain. He did it as a favor. There is no need to worry about any bills."

He seemed to perk up at that news, and taking his jacket off smiled at me. "Well Esme, you can call me Charlie. No need to stand on ceremony around here. You want a beer?"

I laughed. "No, thank you very much though Charlie. I need to be heading back home to Edward."
He frowned as he stared at me, I knew what was going through his head and was not surprised when he verbalized his thoughts.

"Hmmm, you need to make sure that son of yours don't pull any more daft stunts like that last one anytime soon."

I smiled graciously at him, before I made my way to the door with Bella following behind me.
"Charlie, trust me. My son will not be doing anything like that in the future." I turned my attention to Bella. "Now remember what Carlisle said, you need to rest that ankle. If you need me for anything, please just call. Okay?"

She nodded in response and waved goodbye as I pulled away from the house. My heart was heavy on the drive back home. I had so much to think about, so much information to digest. I drove home on autopilot, only coming back into reality with a crash when I saw that there was a strange car in the drive. My heart leapt to my throat and I ran into the house and through to the lounge where I was met by Carlisle and Dr. Crabb, sitting deep in discussion. When he saw me he was on his feet and gave me a hug, immediately I panicked.

"What's wrong? What's happened to Edward?" I was nearly hysterical thinking that he might have had another relapse and I wasn't there for him when he needed me, yet again.

Carlisle comforted me, "Darling it's fine, there is nothing wrong with Edward. Janet called in to do a session with him." My eyes went wide with fear, "Don't worry, I told her that he has withdrawn and I have told her what we know so far. The session still went ahead, but he still isn't talking, not even to Janet."

Janet confirmed this, "It's true Esme, he won't even speak to me. I am concerned about this given how long he has shut himself off, but I have every confidence that he will be okay. It's common for patients who have been through such stressful situations to withdraw from interaction with others. Please do not think that this is anything to do with you. Carlisle said that you have been carrying on as normal, and that is the right thing to do. Just treat him like you normally would, but also just make sure that you keep a close eye on him, discreetly. I have every confidence that he will come back around. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to call me."

She got to her feet and picked up her purse and briefcase. I felt a sense of relief wash over me.

"You're not going to suggest that we admit him to a clinic then?"

Janet smiled at me, "I think that the best place for him right now is here, with you, his family around him. Being in familiar surroundings will give him some sense of normalcy in the midst of the confusion in his head. Just keep doing what you are doing, and remember I am only a phone call away if you need me. Now I really must be going, I have a dinner date to keep."

Carlisle's face fell, "Oh Janet! Sorry I completely forgot. Happy Birthday! Please forgive me, things have been-"

He didn't finish as Janet interrupted him, "It's not a problem, this is my job. Now go see to Esme.""

Carlisle saw her out, leaving me standing there feeling a little stunned by the events that had unfolded this afternoon. When he came back to join me, I sobbed. "I thought that he was going to be taken away from me, I couldn't bear that."

He held me in his arms and simply said. "I know, I thought about calling. I knew that you would be with Bella, and I really didn't want to disturb you."

I looked at the clock and was horrified to see that it was later than I thought, "Oh Carlisle, have you eaten? Where is Rose?"

He shook his head. "We had a snack earlier, but I wanted to wait for you to come home. I will order take out. Chinese okay? Rose is with Emmett, she is fine, they just wanted to give Edward some space."

I nodded my approval, before going to take a shower while I waited for the food to arrive. When I got upstairs I looked in my son who was lying on his bed, arms folded behind his head staring blankly at the ceiling. I don't even think that he realized I was there. Seeing him like this really did break my heart, and I just hoped that there was some way to get through to him, to bring him back from where ever it was that he had retreated to, hopefully in one piece. After showering and dressing I made my way downstairs to the kitchen to see that Edward was already eating, I walked over to him and placed my hands on his shoulders, gently kissing the top of his head.

"Evening sweetheart." He didn't respond. Not even a flicker of acknowledgement that I said anything.

I poured a glass of wine and took my seat, plating my meal. The silence around the table was deafening, I stole glances at Carlisle and he smiled reassuringly. He took a breath and asked me the question that I knew was on his mind, "How was Bella when you dropped her home? Is she-" He never got to finish his question as Edward threw his cutlery onto the plate, pushed it away from him and fled the room. I went to follow him but Carlisle reached out for my arm stopping me, "Esme, leave him, please?" I nodded at him. "So how was she? You were a long time there do I take it that you were able to talk"

I sighed, "She's okay, and yes we did speak. She… she… Bella told me everything that happened between them, from the first time she saw him right up to him through to him being in the hospital and his reaction to her then." I pushed my plate away from me, indicating that I was done. We made our way through to the lounge where I sat on the couch. Carlisle joined me, putting his arm around me, pulling me to him. I continued what I had started earlier. "Oh Carlisle, she was heartbroken, totally devastated by what happened. She knows that she did the wrong thing at the dance and she only wanted to make it right. He blamed her for it all, as that's how it looked. But now, well, now we know that Tanya and more importantly James are to blame for this. I was horrified to find out what had been going on under our noses I feel like-"

"You are not to blame for this, none of us noticed what was happening. Edward chose not to tell us about him and Tanya, or Bella for that matter. There is nothing that we can do about it now. We now have to deal with the aftermath, and try to fix our son. Together." He kissed the top of my head.

"I know Carlisle, it's just that I love him so much and I cannot bear to see him hurting like this, even for a second. I wish I could go back in time and make it all okay. I feel horribly when I think about how I treated him when Bella came round the day after her accident, when he first brought her here. I should've known better, my son, my baby and I pushed his feelings aside like they were nothing, worthless. Oh Carlisle. It's my fault." Tears ran freely down my cheeks. It felt as if now that I had admitted how I felt that I had to do something, but I had no idea what. "This is my fault, I should've known, I-"

I was interrupted by Carlisle's cell phone ringing, he leapt to answer it and I realized that it was the hospital and left the room to speak to them. As I sat there, wiping the tears from my cheeks, I felt the seat at the side of me dip as someone sat down. I thought that it was Carlisle and I said,

"What do I do now? This is my fault and I just can't reach him." My hands were pulled away from my eyes and there sat my son, Edward looking back at me. He spoke in a low voice, and it sounded amazing to me, having not heard from him for days I loved hearing him speak to me once again.

"Mom, I'm sorry. It's not your fault, please don't blame yourself." Tears filled his eyes as he continued. "I'm sorry I put you through this, that I lied to you, please can you forgive me?"

I looked at him and pulled him into my arms, "You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be apologizing to you."

I held him while he cried himself out, allowing at the emotions to come pouring out of him. It seemed that now the dam had been breached there was not stopping it, and I didn't necessarily want it to. If this is what my son needed from me, then this is what he would get. Eventually he stopped crying, moving his head down onto my knees and I stroked his hair like I used to do when he was a child. Realizing his breathing had deepened and slowed, I looked down to find that he had fallen asleep. Carlisle came back into the room and found us there, both with tear stained faces, Edward peaceful on my lap. He simply smiled at me and whispered in a low voice so as not to wake him. "I told you that things would work out."

Smiling back at him, I just wished that the rest of the problems following the revelations of the last few days could be so easily resolved. I had to hope, otherwise what else did I have?

Authors Note:

Firstly Happy Birthday to one of my readers, Latersbaby! You kept that one quiet missy but it didn't get past me!

This is beta'd as always by the very fabulous Cosmom – don't know how you manage to cope with me but you do! Pre-read by Kittlies1 who I made cry – sorry, sorry, sorry!

I really do hope that you have enjoyed this peek into Esme's world and see that she isn't really a monster/bad mom.

Anyway my ramblings here are up for some awards *GASPS* you can go and vote for me or any of the others here: http:/wordsmithawards(DOT)blogspot(DOT)co(DOT),uk

Please do leave me a review by hitting the button below. Finally I have set up a group on Facebook for my writing if you want to join you are welcome, Fraggle Rock Fics just request and I will add you. Lou xxx

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