Chapter Thirty Eight

Merle helped load up the truck, making sure that the group going would have enough ammo to take out an army of those dead bastards. He felt uneasy, letting them go like this, but he had a feeling that he would have to get used to it. Any time one of them left the mountain, there wasn't a promise that they would ever be seen again. That was a hard pill to swallow, especially when you went a whole week thinking your kin were dead, just to have them show up and then take off again.

"Here."

He looked down at the box that Katherine was holding out for him to take. "What's this?"

She kept her gaze averted. "I packed more rations just in case."

"Just in case?" he quirked a brow.

She shrugged and finally looked up, dark brown eyes meeting his briefly. "It could take longer. I heard Odin and Randy and they mentioned that this could take a few days. I just thought-"

He took the box and nodded. "Good thinkin'."

She smiled, shoving her hands into her back pockets and taking a step back. "You want to go with them," she said suddenly, surprising him. So far she hadn't been a great conversationalist.

"Yeah, but I ain't in no hurry to leave my girl. Spent too long not knowin' if she was alive out there. So, stayin' ain't really gonna bother me too much. Our people are damn tough so they'll be alright."

"Well, I'm glad you're staying."

"Is that right?" he asked, feeling a smug smile tugging at his lips.

"I guess I just feel a little safer when you're around." Her face reddened at this admission and the color looked good on her.

He couldn't help it. He laughed at that, shaking his head slowly. "I think you're likely the first person to ever say some shit like that to me before."

One dark brow went up. "Really?"

"I ain't one of the good guys, darlin'." He hadn't meant for the words to sound so heavy, but they felt that way. He really wasn't one of the good guys. Before Piper he had been one of the worst, actually.

This earned him a disapproving look as she studied his face and he almost felt like squirming under her scrutiny, which made him feel more like his brother than himself and that kind of pissed him off. He turned, shoving the box into the back and slamming the tailgate in place. He gave her one last long look before stepping around her and heading back towards the cabin. He needed to watch his ass with this woman. She looked good enough and as far as he knew he liked her well enough and all. All that was fine and dandy and one of the reasons he wouldn't mind taking her for a spin. The problem was, she was permanent and he didn't have the patience for a mess.

"Did I say something?" she asked, sidling up next to him.

He glanced at her. "What?"

"Well, you were fine and now you aren't. I thought maybe I said something."

He shook his head. "I'm right as rain." He climbed the steps and stepped into the cabin without another word.

~H~

Sophia looked around, her arms crossed firmly over her chest because she didn't want anyone to see her hands shaking. Damon was shoving spare magazines into his bag.

"You sure you have everything?" she asked, her voice sounding much too small.

He looked up from the spot he was kneeling, studying her. "You know I'm gonna be fine. Gonna give yourself an ulcer worrying and you ain't got no damn reason."

"Oh really?" she asked, unable to believe he would say that to her.

He stood up and looked down at her, shouldering the bag. His gaze was intense and troubled and she almost felt guilty. "Look, I wanna stay, alright? Just so you don't have to worry about me and I won't have to worry about you. Cause trust me, that's what I'll be doin' the whole time-"

"Then why are you going?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He shoved his long hair behind his ears. "Because I thought they were dead. I never thought I would see them again. At night, while you two were asleep, I was awake, thinking about them being eaten by those things. Wonderin' if they went quick or if they had to feel those things tearing into them for a while before they bled out. All I heard in my head was my mom screamin' and even though I was able to pull myself together before the sun came up, I ain't never hurt like that in my life. So I don't wanna watch them drive off, cause I can't-"

His words caused her heart to ache for him and before he could finish his sentence she pressed her fingers to his lips.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-" But her words were cut off when he pulled her towards him, hugging her hard. Her arms went around him as she pressed her face into his chest. She reminded herself over and over that he was strong and he would be okay. "Don't worry about me. You've taught me a lot since we've been up here. I'm not a bad shot and Piper is the Antichrist, just waiting to kill something. You just worry about getting your ass back home as soon as you can, okay?"

He ran a hand over her back. "Too bad you ain't more hard core. You coulda went with us."

She looked up, trying to force a smile because she really didn't feel much like smiling at all but when he looked down and saw it she felt the tension easing a little. "Not a chance. I don't think it would matter how good I got with a gun. My mom isn't letting me off this mountain. I'm here for the rest of my life."

He grinned. "I can live with that."

She rolled her eyes and was about to return with a quip but he silenced her when his lips met hers. She kissed him back hard but all too soon the sound of the others calling for him below them caused the kiss to end quickly. She held onto him harder for a few long moments but then dropped her arms, stepping away. "Keep your ass alive out there."

He smiled. "Yes ma'am."

"And bring me something good back." She shoved him towards the ladder.

"Planned on it."

She followed him down and readied herself to say her goodbyes to the rest of them.

~H~

Piper didn't know what the hell her problem was but she needed to stop acting like a fucking loser! She scuffed her boots in the grass, shoved her hands deep into her hoodie pockets and mentally willed herself to exude that coolness that had never, up until now, failed her before.

"Hey, how's it goin', Piper?" Eli asked, coming around the side of the cabin.

Her head snapped up. "Nothing," she said all too quickly. She realized that her answer didn't make any sense and winced.

"What?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Er... I mean, good. Great actually. Things are going totally good."

His eyebrows raised and he nodded slowly. "Okay, then. Cool."

She nodded, swallowed hard, and cleared her throat. "Yeah. Cool." Jesus fucking Christ could she be any more lame right now? She was not... this! She was... she was... awesome. Calm and cool and collected and... awesome! Right now she might as well have been Sophia when they'd first met her.

"You got anything specific you want from down there? Something you can't exactly ask one of the respectable adults to snag you?" he asked suddenly, leaning into the cabin, crossing his feet at the ankles and regarding her with that lopsided smile.

She knew the move. Damon did shit like that all the time when he knew that some poor stupid idiot goddamn clueless chick had the hots for him. He knew she liked him. Mother fucking shit! "Like what?" she asked, wishing he'd just hurry the hell up and go for God's sake.

He shrugged and pushed off the wall. "Hell I don't know. Just thought I'd ask."

"Right on," she muttered.

He nodded towards the front of the cabin and pushed off the wall. "Guess I need to go figure out when we're leavin'."

She reluctantly fell in step beside him, wishing she was taller, wishing she wasn't a freckle faced ginger with a chip on her shoulder, but mostly wishing she didn't feel like that at all because she never had before. She was enough, by God. Always had been.

"I heard your dad talking earlier. He says you're damn skilled with a knife too. That true?" he asked suddenly.

She glanced up but it was only briefly. "My old man is damn good with a gun and Daryl is a pro at the crossbow but neither would teach me a damn thing when I was little." She shrugged. "So I stole some knives from them and taught myself how to throw."

He chuckled. "Guess you showed them, huh?"

"I did." She smiled, felt her stupid pasty face turn red and looked away again. This was seriously starting to piss her off. "Anyway, you as good as your old man says?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Learned from a bunch of bikers when I was a kid. My old man was in an MC."

"Like some Sons of Anarchy shit?" she asked, intrigued.

He laughed at that. "I don't know. I was around them a lot but I wasn't in the thick of it, ya know?"

She nodded. "Right."

"Anyway, I guess I need to get my ass in gear."

She finally met his eyes. "Watch your ass out there."

"You watch your ass here. Just cause it feels safe don't mean it is," he said, all humor fading from his eyes.

"Preachin' to the choir," she said, sounding a little more like herself.

He offered her one last grin and then headed into the house. She stood there for a few long moments, cursing herself again.

~H~

Carol could read the tension in his shoulders even though he was standing at the other side of the room. She wanted to tell him that his family would be fine but she wouldn't do that. He didn't need placating words. He just needed her to be there, and so she would be. Besides, Odin was a lot better at talking to him than she probably ever would be and that's what the other man was doing right now.

"They'll be fine, right?"

Carol glanced over, meeting her daughter's eyes and offering her a small nod. "You know they will be. They traveled all the way here unscathed so a trip to town isn't really as bad as it seems."

Sophia, her eyes dim and far away, shook her head. "Any time any of us leave, it's bad. Anything could happen."

Carol took her hand and lead her towards the others, a frown forming between her brows at her daughter's obvious dismay. She could understand how the girl was feeling because she had felt it too and she felt guilty that she was one of the lucky ones. Sophia and Damon were close, closer than Carol liked to contemplate most of the time, but their feelings for one another seemed to be sincere and Carol hated that the girl had to hurt like this.

They all said their goodbyes and she wished that this was easier. She wished it was as easy as watching your loved ones get in their car for a quick trip to the store, but this wasn't like that. Despite not exactly loving the idea of her daughter being so involved with a boy, there wasn't anything she could do about it and she felt bad for her. The girl wasn't going to stop worrying until he was back, and the rest of them would feel the same way.

Daryl turned to her as the truck rolled down the drive and rounded the first bend, disappearing from view. "I'm gonna go ahead and find us a spot and get to work. Just cause they're gone don't mean I ain't got a lot to do."

She frowned. "Find a spot? What are you talking about?"

He shrugged. "I get that you're fond of that shack and all but there ain't enough room. Another shack won't do either. Me and Merle are gonna start on gettin' timber ready. Need to keep my head busy anyhow."

She blinked in surprise. "You're building me a cabin?"

He eyed her. "I'm buildin' us a cabin. Me and Sophia will likely stay in it too."

She didn't miss the sarcasm. Despite her worry over the others she couldn't hide the smile. "Will it be like this one?"

He shrugged. "Likely."

"We'll have a floor!"

He snorted and stepped past her, giving her hand a small quick squeeze on his way by. "Yeah. You'll have a floor. I'm turnin' over the keys to the shack to Randy. His boy wants to try to build his own."

She stared after him until she realized that Sophia was staring at her and then she cleared her throat and steered her towards the cabin.