Disclaimer: That '70s Show copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
READING THE EVIDENCE

The senior locker area was clearing out fast. The last school bell had rung. Monday was done, but Hyde's locker conspired against him. He'd screwed up the combination on the lock twice. His fingers were in a rush, but he had to slow them down if he wanted to get out of here.

The lock opened on his fourth try. He took his suede jacket from his locker, put it on, but his corduroy pants jostled at his waist. Someone was tugging on one of his belt loops, and he turned around.

A blur of flesh passed his eyes. A pair of lips skimmed his cheek, and the blur turned into Valerie Clayton's face. "Gotcha," she said, yanking off his shades.

He swiped his shades back and dropped them into his jacket pocket. His backpack was on the floor, but he kept his eyes on her as he picked up. "Not in the mood," he said after standing up straight. "So how's about you rah-rah on over to someone who is?"

"Adorable." She backed up a step, but her palms captured his cheeks, and her lips pushed into his mouth.

She was kissing him, but he grasped her shoulders and shoved her backward. "What the hell, man?"

She laughed and ran a finger from his chest to his belt buckle. The chick had a long reach. Her legs were long, too, and flexible from what he'd seen in Viking Stadium. "Julie finally told me the whole, sad story of what happened between the two of you," she said.

"So?" He removed her hand from his belt, but her other hand shot to his ass. She thrust her hips at him. His backpack fell off his shoulder and hit her hand, but that didn't deter her. She started to grind herself into his crotch. "Crap—"

He glanced around the locker area. They were alone and out of view of the lobby, but he needed to stop her. This was Kelso's latest chick, and Hyde was in love with Kelso's first, but Saturday afternoon had messed him up.

First he'd thought Jackie was desperate for Kelso. Then for any guy who wasn't Kelso. But his theory about her had shifted back to Kelso. He wasn't the only one with theories, though. Jackie had offered a doozy before fleeing his room on Saturday, that he was using Kelso as an excuse not to be with her.

Whether or not she was right, Kelso skittered like a rat between them, shitting everywhere. Hyde was splattered in feces, but Jackie still shone like a star in his skull and chest. He'd let her leave him with the opposite belief in her mind. Let her spend all of Sunday and today believing it, too. It was a mistake he aimed to rectify. Had to rectify.

"Julie's aiming higher than her position," Valerie said and nuzzled Hyde's beard with her nose. "She's just a junior, but she's trying to rally the cheer squad to oust me, all because I got homecoming queen."

Cheerleader politics, a subject he had no interest in. He grabbed hold of her arms, but his biceps only tensed. He didn't shove her away again.

"Your beard is scratchy." Her breath warmed his ear, and he rechecked their position. With the arrangement of the lockers, no one from the lobby could possibly see them, but they were exposed to anyone entering through the staircases. "But a little pain can be fun," she said. "If you do for me what you wouldn't do for Julie, you won't regret it."

A sickening heat coiled in his stomach. Valerie was freakin' dry-humping him against his locker. She'd given him a hard-on, and his thoughts were blurring. He had to end this, but the desire to lose himself to it was strengthening. "So you and Kelso are over, huh?"

"Michael's brought this on himself, and he wouldn't dare break up with me." She lowered her lips to his neck, and his eyes squeezed shut as she kissed him. "He won't shut up about Jackie," she said and nipped his earlobe with her teeth. "Every other conversation we have is about her, about how you're the reason she didn't take him back, so..."

His grip on her arms weakened, enough that she could unzip the fly of his pants. Her fingers slipped inside, past the placket of his underwear, and grasped his erection. His breath staggered in his chest. The girl had stones, doing this in public—in Goddamn school—and that fact hardened him more in her hand.

"I'm going to teach him a lesson," she whispered into his lips. She smelled like watermelon Jolly Rancher, not his favorite. But her hand squeezed him just the right way, and he swallowed a groan. "Jackie acts like you aren't worth the dandruff in her hair, but if you do what I'm asking so nicely of you..."

She kissed him on the mouth. Her wet tongue teased his own, urging him to kiss her back. But when his lips and tongue remained slack, she pulled away.

"Michael will understand what kind of threat you really are," she said. "He'll start focusing on me, and Julie will understand who's at the top of the pyramid."

"And I get to shoot my load into your palm?" He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and yanked her off him. He was already in emotional debt to Jackie. Following through with Valerie, making himself part of her ploy, would put him further in debt. "Thanks for the offer," he said and zipped up his fly, "but no."

He grabbed his backpack and headed for the lobby. His balls ached with the demand for release, but the pain would eventually subside. Or he'd have to drive the Camino to a secluded spot and rub one out.

"You're in love with someone!" Valerie shouted after him. "That's why you're walking away. Why you didn't finish with Julie."

He waved at Mrs. Dooley, the school receptionist, as he passed her desk. He had to act casual so Valerie wouldn't be tipped off. She was a keen one. Targeting people's vulnerability must've propelled her up the social ladder. He needed to get out of here before she homed in on his, before she said the name—

"Jackie! It's always Jackie!"

Valerie's accusation dragged him back to her. A few straggling students had gone to their lockers, but he had to deal with Valerie in private. He took her hand and led her downstairs to the cafeteria. It was empty except for the lunch lady. The metallic bangs of pots and the rush of water signaled her presence. She had to be in the kitchen, cleaning up.

"It is Jackie, isn't it?" Valerie said, pinching the skin of her throat. She leaned her hip against a lunch table, and her body language confirmed his suspicions: Julie and Kelso weren't her only marks.

"What if it is?" he said.

Her face flushed. "It always is. My dad ran for city council, too. Did you know that? But Jackie's dad … and last year, she got voted Best Cheerleader in the state-wide competition. She was a Goddamn sophomore!"

"So you went after Kelso to burn her."

"What if I did?" She wound a lock of her hair around her finger. "Jackie's dating that Ft. Blanderson boy, but she's so not over Michael. She took him back too many times." Her hair slipped from her grasp, and she smiled mischievously. "Too bad she can't have him anymore—and too bad for you she'll always want him."

The nape of his neck heated up. "You're gonna try to blackmail me."

She stepped closer to him and touched the tip of his nose. "How perceptive."

"Let's hear it."

"I'll tell Jackie how you feel about her. She's the biggest gossip in the school, and everyone'll know in about..." she glanced at her watch, "five minutes after she does. She'll badmouth you to anyone who'll listen, and you won't be able to walk these halls without being heckled. Your senior year is going to be hell."

He arched up an eyebrow. "Unless?"

"Unless you accept my offer. Come on..." She cupped his still-throbbing balls over his pants. "You'll enjoy it. I promise."

He pried her hand off him. "Tell her."

An aggravated scream followed him as he left the cafeteria, but she had nothing on him. His senior year was already hell, and he wouldn't cow to her or anyone.

Hyde strolled into Donna's living room, pretending to be relaxed, but tension held his body hostage. His head pounded, and his dick and stones were tender. He'd had to finish what Valerie didn't, to relieve the pressure. Screwing cheerleaders was supposed to be a life goal for a dirtbag like him, but so far they'd only screwed him up.

"Tent's there," Donna said and pointed to the couch. She must've heard him come in. Her gaze was plastered to a map spread across the card table. A pen was in her hand, and she seemed to be having trouble marking a route.

He looked at the canvas backpack by the couch. If its unworn state was any indication, the tent inside had to be pristine. "Thanks for the loan," he said.

"No problem. You can pay me back by helping me plan my route to Quartz Falls."

"Sure … but why're you gonna drive to Quartz Falls?"

She glanced at him as he approached the table. "I wanted to do something romantic for Eric, considering he flew to California for me. I had one idea Jackie shot down, and she suggested this one." She waved her hand over the map. "She's even letting me use her as an alibi and lending me her car so I can get there on Friday."

"Long drive." He pulled out a chair and sat. His eyes scanned the map, and his finger traced US 41 to Fond du Lac, but his mind circled around Donna's last statement ."Using her as an alibi?"

"Oh, her parents are out of town this week. I'm going to tell my dad I'm staying with her over the weekend. She's going on the trip, but my dad won't know that. Neither will her parents supposedly." Her thumbnail scratched the edge of the map. "It's kind of sad. You'd think they'd pay more attention to her, but maybe they're going through something. My parents basically ignored me while they tried to work out their marriage."

He said nothing but gestured for the pen. She gave it to him, and he began marking the map. He had the route to Quartz Falls figured out. It wouldn't be a joyride. Donna had to pay attention, especially since she'd be driving in the dark by the end of it.

"Damn," she said when he marked the switch from I-39 to US-51.

"Not done." He dragged the pen along the highway then moved it west onto a county road. The pounding in his skull was abating, but plotting this route reminded him too much of Jackie—of his connection to her. It had taken him across back roads and through unexpected scenery. But their relationship, if one could call it that, was leaking gas and about to fall apart.

Going down on Julie. Letting Valerie jerk him off. Jackie's continual reactions to Kelso and what they might lead her to do. These were all barricades, but the misery they caused fit Hyde like a pair of broken-in boots. He could walk in it comfortably for months without stopping.

"Okay, Hyde—okay." Donna grasped his wrist after he marked a series of left and right turns. "There's no way I'm doing this," she said. "Not alone. I just don't have the driving experience." She indicated the eyeball ring on his pinky. "Do you think Eric would appreciate something like that?"

He adjusted his shades on his face and chuckled. "You got him a ring?"

"A beautiful, sophisticated man-ring. It's onyx and gold."

"Oh, you gotta give him that." He was still laughing, and she slapped his arm. "Come on, man. A fat ring on his skinny finger? He'll probably strain a muscle wearing it."

She slumped into the chair next to him. "Jackie convinced me of the same thing. So what do I do?"

"First, you forget this shit." He shoved the map off the table. "Second, you still come to Quartz Falls. Just sneak onto the senior bus. Teachers won't notice. Hell, half the time while taking attendance they call your name."

"Really?" Her expression brightened, but it didn't last. "Only … you leave on Wednesday. What am I supposed to do about my actual school? Or my dad, for that matter?"

He wiggled the fingers of his left hand in front of her eyes. She watched them as his other hand sneaked around her shoulders and poked her right cheek. "Misdirection, man. There's gotta be a couple of girls at your school who listen to your show on WFPP or Jerry Thunder's."

"Yeah..."

"Bribe 'em to cover for you. Say you'll bring them to the radio station."

"What if doesn't work? Those nuns are pretty sharp. I sit in the back of every classroom, but Sister Mary Agnes caught me chewing gum last week. My knuckles still hurt from her ruler-spanking."

"That's what backup plans are for," he said and checked his watch. "Told Fez I'd pick him up from the DMV. A travel agency's next to it. That's where we bought Forman his plane ticket to Cali."

"So...?"

"So you're comin' with me."

Northern Pike Travel had a decent amount of agents, all sitting behind desks and talking to clients or making phone calls. The chatter in the place was loud. The lights were bright, and Donna seemed uncomfortable. She buttoned her wool coat closed as Hyde led her to a rack of brochures.

"I should've changed out of my Catholic school uniform," she whispered. "I swear a couple of those pervs are leering at me." She nodded to two older men at their desks. One was on the phone. The other was dealing with a middle-aged couple, but both men flicked their eyes in Donna's direction.

Hyde positioned Donna between himself and the brochure rack, blocking her from view. He hooked his shades on his shirt collar, clutched his belt buckle, and watched both men. When they tried to catch another glimpse of her, he raised his eyebrows, daring them to keep staring. One man flinched before returning his attention to his clients. The other smiled sheepishly and shrugged, as if to say, "What can I do? She's a teenage girl in a short skirt. You get it."

Hyde put on his shades again and moved toward him. The man thrust up his hands defensively as Hyde got closer, and the phone receiver dropped to his desk.

"My friend's here for a brochure," Hyde said when he reached him. The desk name plate said Carl, andCarl scrambled for the phone as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. "If you look at her again, that brochure's goin' up your ass."

"Y-yes, sir," Carl said into the phone receiver, but he was staring at Hyde. "Sorry for the disturbance. Won't happen again."

Hyde would make sure it didn't. He returned to the brochure rack, to Donna, but kept his attention on the travel agents.

"What do you think?" Donna fanned out several brochures at him. "I mean, my dad loves golfing, but he also likes magic shows and eating out—"

"Donna, man, rephrase."

"Sorry. Dining out. I don't want to give him too many options. He'll know I'm up to something."

"So don't." He plucked the Wisconsin Dells brochure from her hands. "This place has got enough to keep your dad and Joanne busy." He altered his voice, imitating Bob's thick Wisconsin accent. "There's nothin' like a five-day weekend."

She nudged his shoulder and grinned. "Isn't that the place where your dad knocked up your mom with you?"

"Yup. Maybe you'll get a new baby brother or sister out of this scheme."

"Oh, God." She swiped the Wisconsin Dells brochure from him and put the others back. "Let's get out of here."

They walked past the travel agents' desks to the front door. A woman peered up at them from her logbook, but she was the only one. The other agents ignored them, including the two men who'd ogled Donna. That was best for everybody. Hyde could've easily gotten into a brawl. His muscles begged him for one, but unleashing his frustration on strangers would be counter-productive.

Donna studied the brochure as they left the travel agency. Cars filled Northern Pike Travel's small parking lot, but he'd parked the Camino at the DMV. Its far more expansive lot could fit over a hundred cars, easy, and its gable-roofed building was close. Normally it would be a two-minute walk, but they'd get to it in five at Donna's slow pace.

"It's all so complicated," she said. "So much could go horribly wrong, but Eric's worth it." She folded the brochure and slid it into her coat pocket. "Plus, it's sort of thrilling. Going to my school is like being in prison. Can't get away with anything. If I get away with this..."

"You'll be the queen of badassery," he said. "And if you get caught, maybe you'll get expelled from Nun High and get to come back to our illustriously squeaky halls. So, basically, it's win-win."

"Right."

She sped up the pace, but he stopped her a fair distance from the DMV entrance. Fez was supposed to meet Hyde outside. Avoiding the DMV's inflow and outflow of grumbling visitors was an added bonus.

"Thanks for—" Donna said, but a motorcycle engine revved up in the parking lot. She shouted over it. "Thanks for dealing with those freaks in the travel agency! I hate having to wear this uniform."

He patted her shoulder. She had enough freaks to deal with in the basement. "Speaking of," he said, "you think Jackie's still got it bad for Kelso?"

"I'm honestly not sure. I hope not, but you saw how she was on Saturday. And the fact she's not dating anyone—shit. I mean … shit."

"Her and Mark are a fake-out. I know." His gaze shifted from her to the DMV. Cars, trees, and mowed grass surrounded the building. A bit of nature to balance out the motor oil, but the conflicting scents pierced his nostrils.

"You do?" she said.

"She told me."

She inhaled a breath. It was probably to calm herself down, but she coughed. "God, this parking lot stinks!" She coughed some more, drawing his full attention. She pinched her nose and jerked her head, as if trying to expel the scent from her brain. "Anyway, wow. So she told you on Saturday?"

"Earlier."

"Huh."

"Gonna need more than that, Donna." His desperation scraped his spine, and he rolled his neck to keep the muscles from seizing up. If she'd picked up on it, though, she didn't let on. She stuck her hands in her coat pockets.

"Jackie likes having a boyfriend," she said, "but she's really picky. Or she's just too attached to Kelso to give someone else a chance."

Those were options one and two, but a third option existed: Jackie wanted to move onto Hyde. She'd said as much on Saturday, but she'd cried to him for sanctuary too many times. If he opened his door again and let her in, really let her in, only for her to leave once Kelso … Hyde swallowed as pain threaded itself into his throat. He couldn't do it. Jackie should be happy, with Kelso, with anyone, or alone, but Hyde wouldn't carve up his arteries to make it happen.

"Kelso's her country, man," he said. "Soon as his latest bout of fucking around is done, she'll go back to him."

Donna tilted her head, like she wasn't convinced. "He already offered to be faithful again, and she didn't go for it."

"'Cause he had no follow-through." He rubbed the side of his face, irritating the skin under his beard. "She's a great girl, you know? Big brain. Big freakin' heart. But she loves so damn hard it gets in the way of her smarts. All Kelso's gotta do is spend a month beating off instead of hunting tail, and she'll be ready for another episode of Will Kelso Cheat On Me?"

"I thought so, too, but I've underestimated her before. And she's been different since I came home from California. She used to get lost in these fantasies all the time, but she's been less dreamy and more introspective. She blames Donahue, but..." Her eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open. "You."

"Me, what?"

She jabbed a finger at his face. "It's you! And her … and holy crap, you're in love with each other."

"Would you knock it off?" He pushed her jabbing finger away. "We are not."

"Then why are you asking about her and Kelso?"

"Concerned citizen."

"'She's a great girl,'" she said, doing a piss-poor impression of his voice. "'Big brain, big heart...'"

"Yup. I said those things."

Her eyebrows rose, but Fez shoved open the DMV door. He was muttering to himself and clenched his fists at his sides. Either he'd gotten the job at below minimum wage, or he hadn't gotten the job at all.

"Fez isn't gonna save you from this," Donna said and tugged on Hyde's jacket sleeve. "If Jackie goes back to Kelso, it'll be because she feels like she has nowhere else to go. That's what happened with me and Casey—"

Hyde yanked his sleeve from her. "Enough. Whatever evidence you think you've got, you're reading it wrong."

But he scratched the nape of his neck raw as Fez approached them, and he barely listened as Fez explained why the DMV wouldn't hire him. Something to do with puns and a fondness for pie.

"I'm sorry, Fez," Donna said. "Hyde and I can chip in to get you a condolences pie."

"I would like that," Fez said. "Being able to eat pie after such a rejection shows resilience. Not a special skill my ass!"

Kenosha's Pie House was in the opposite direction of Point Place. It was also a straight drive from the DMV, at the juncture between 52nd Street and 52nd Avenue. No turns, so Hyde didn't argue about the detour.

He brought Donna and Fez to the Camino and told them to wait. It was sandwiched between a Toyota Corolla and an AMC Pacer. Paying for half a pie was one thing. But paying for a pair of broken side mirrors? Not in his budget.

Donna gave him guidance as he backed out of the parking space. She and Fez squeezed onto the Camino's bench seat afterward, and Fez continued to gripe about his interview. Hyde, though, concentrated on the road as he drove onto 52nd Street.

They arrived at the Pie House less than ten minutes later. Inside, Fez fogged up the display case with his breath and smeared it with his sweaty hands. He asked the baker details about the coconut custard pie and the chocolate cream pie, but Donna pulled Hyde to a corner table, as far from the display case—and Fez— as possible.

"I'd much rather see Jackie with you," she whispered.

He flicked the table's napkin dispenser. "You're still on this?"

"When Eric and I first thought something was brewing between you two, it scared us. But Kelso's been such a jackass. He brought this on himself."

"There's no this, all right?" He shoved the napkin dispenser aside. It skidded to the table edge but didn't fall off. "Me and her … it's crazy."

"Whatever you say, Hyde." She returned the napkin dispenser to its proper place. "But I could write an essay with the thesis: Jackie and Hyde are in love, and I'd have plenty of assertions to back it up."

"You write that essay, and I'll have enough evidence to commit you to the looney bin."

She smirked as if his threat were empty, and maybe it was. She'd given him a new read on his own evidence. He wasn't Jackie's sanctuary from Kelso. Kelso had become her refuge from Hyde.