Authors Note: As always I do not own Twilight or any of these characters and no copyright infringement is intended.

I woke dazed and disorientated. I felt hands stroking my hair causing me to close my eyes, again. I succumbed to the calm that the action was bringing to me. I enjoyed the feeling, and then suddenly, I remembered, Bella.

I sat upright quickly, looking at the confused face of my mom. "Edward, are you okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, sorry, I just woke up confused, that's all."

She fixed me with a smile. "As long as you're okay. I've...we've been so worried about you." I looked around the room. "Your dad got called into the hospital; there was an emergency."

"Ah, okay." Then I remembered. "I…Bella!" The panic rose in me when I remembered the conversation that helped bring me out of my self-imposed silent exile. Bella had been hurt; she'd been to the hospital where my dad had treated her. I was on my feet before I knew it, dashing around to find my keys.

Mom grabbed my arm as I went to leave. "Edward, no! Look, whatever you're thinking, stop. Please, talk to me?"

She had tears in her eyes. How could I put her through this?

I nodded, returning to the couch with her arm around my waist, supporting me. As I sat down, she remained with me and I turned to face her. "Mom, I'm…"

She cut me off. "Don't you dare say that you're fine, Edward Cullen. Don't you dare." She demanded. "I've been through hell the last few days; no one can give me answers or explain what's been happening inside your head or why you felt that you couldn't come to me or your father with any of this." Her voice softened. "Sweetheart, we need to talk things through. You have to tell me what you're thinking."

I looked at her; did she really want to hear what I was thinking, right now? How would she feel if she knew that the only person I wanted to be with right now, was Bella. I wanted to talk to her, hold her, kiss her and tell that that I was sorry. I would go down on my knees if I thought that was what it would take to make her see how sorry I was for not believing her. I knew she was hurt. Hell, I was at the time when I had thought she sold us out; especially when she denied me so publicly. I saw that now. Time and perspective are wonderful things, even if I had been through hell to get to this point.

I took a breath. "I'm sorry. I should've talked to you; I was scared. It was new; I didn't know what to do for the best."

"Why Tanya?" Her face looked pained. Oh, she wanted to know why Tanya.I really didn't have an answer for that one. "She's older than you. She's Irina's daughter. Did you not think about that? Is it true what she said?"

My eyes sought an invisible spot on the ground and refused to move from it, finding that spot on the carpet so interesting. I couldn't look at her face. I didn't want to have this conversation with her or with anyone, for that matter.

"Edward? Please talk to me; I want to know, to understand."

I really didn't want to do this now. I knew I needed to reconcile my feelings for Tanya and knew that Janet would be able to help me with this. I wanted to talk, yes, but not to my mom. I took the seat next to her, putting my hands on hers.

"Mom, I can't do this, please don't."

She nodded, standing slowly, she kissed to top of my head. "Hot chocolate?" I nodded in response, my eyes still unable to meet hers. "Marshmallows? Whipped cream?"

I lifted my head. She knew what I loved. "Yes, please."

She smiled at me before she turned and left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts in a quiet room. I could hear her in the kitchen moving around. As I sat there alone, my brain began to work overtime and I couldn't bear to be left alone in the silent room with only them for company, so I went to join her in the kitchen.

She was on the phone and didn't hear me, so I stood in the doorway and listened. "Yes, I know that. I tried; he wasn't saying anything. Yes, I know. Look, this is going to take some time. I think that would help; he needs someone. He asked about her, but I didn't say anything. How do I tell him? Will you be long? I'll wait up and we can talk some more. Love you, too. Bye." She placed the cordless handset on the counter and placed her hands out for support. Her head drooped forward and I felt like I was intruding, so I decided to not let her know that I had seen or heard anything.

Stepping back in the hallway I pretended like I was walking in for the first time. "Hey mom, need a hand with that hot chocolate?" She turned to me, a smile that I knew to be forced, lit up her face, but on closer inspection, it never reached her eyes.

"Grab the marshmallows and cream please."

I did as she asked, passing her the items before I pulled out one of the stools from the counter and took a seat. I watched her bustle around the kitchen making the drinks. Once she made them, she went to the pantry and got the step stool so that she could reach the highest shelf where she moved various boxes before she produced a clear plastic container. She joined me at the counter removing the lid. I was assaulted by the smell of her oatmeal and raisin cookies...my favorite.

She grinned at me. "I have to hide them. If your father or heaven forbid, Emmett, find out there are any, they would be gone in seconds. I know that you love these, so I made them and hid them. That hiding place is our secret." She winked at me.

"Lips, sealed. I can keep a secret."

I realized what I had said the second the words left my lips. Her face fell and I wished that I could take those words back.

In a whisper, I managed to say. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

I reached for her hand, but she pulled away, tears once again filling her eyes and she blinked them back furiously. She took her mug and moved to the sink, staring out of the window into the dark night. I could see her reflection in the window and she was fighting back the tears, trying to be strong for me

"Mom, I'm going to try and answer your question from earlier, but please don't interrupt me; I need to say this."

She turned around, panic flashed across her face. "No. I think it would be better if you talk to Dr. Crabb about all this. I'm not sure I'm the best person to talk to. She's the professional. I…"

"No, mom! I want to talk to you, not Janet. You're my mother; I love you. I know you've seen Bella, even spoken to her. I want to know how she is. Please?" I pleaded. "I need to know, otherwise, I'll walk out of this door right now and you won't be able to stop me from going see her." I hadn't realized I was shouting until my dad walked into my line of vision.

He raised his hands in surrender. "Edward, please calm down son. You're upset; there's nothing that your mom can do right now. I think it's best if we talk now, but leave the main topics to be discussed with Janet, in a family session if that's okay with you of course?"

I looked at him. My mom was hidden behind him and I knew she was crying.

I nodded my agreement before I left the room without a word. I could hear my parents talking in low hushed voices as I made my way out of the kitchen.

Then I saw them, laying on the hall table, taunting me... my father's car keys.

In that instant, I grabbed them and let myself out of the house, silently closing the door behind me. Once in the car, I didn't turn the lights on until I was out of the driveway. I knew they'd see the headlights and stop me. I had to do this; I had to see her.

Driving through the darkened streets, my anxiety levels got higher and higher as I approached the street where Bella lived. I slowed the car to a crawl as I got closer to her house. My heart pounded in my chest as if it would break free at any moment.

I saw her car parked outside. Her dad wasn't home; this was a good sign. Then I saw another car that I recognized vaguely, parked next to hers. I doubled back and parked across the street and waited. I wasn't there long before the porch light came on and the door opened. Bella stepped out and my hand instinctively reached for the door handle, only to pull away as if I had been scolded when a familiar figure stepped out behind her...Jake.

What was he doing here? Why was he with Bella, alone at her house late at night?

There had to be a reasonable explanation.

Then came the sight that felt like a punch in the guts. Watching them together, they were laughing and joking together. She playfully punched his arm and he mussed her hair. Then he held is arms open to her and she stepped into his embrace. He pulled her close to his chest before he planted a kiss on top of her head. I had seen enough and started the engine with a screech of tires. No doubt disturbing their romantic interlude. I made my way home, tears and more betrayal stinging my eyes as I drove.

I made my way through the streets towards...well, I didn't know and didn't care where. I just knew I needed to be away from them.

I paid little attention to the road as sobs ripped from deep inside my chest. I went through a stop sign without caring any longer, and then I saw them. The dreaded red and blue lights of a Police cruiser lit up the dark night. Shit, I was gonna be in some trouble now.

I pulled the car over to the sidewalk and waited. I couldn't handle this right now and my body pitched forward, my head resting on the steering wheel. Sobs continued to wrack through my chest as the emotions finally made their escape.

The doors were locked and I heard a tapping on the window next to me, but I didn't acknowledge their presence. I wanted to be alone, but knew this wouldn't be an option.

The knocking grew louder until, through tear stained eyes, I turned to look at the face I knew was on the other side of the window waiting for a response from me. Fuck! It was Charlie Swan, Bella's father. Could tonight get any worse?

"Edward, open the door, son." I didn't respond, so he tapped, again. "Edward, please open the door. I don't wanna break the glass on your fathers vehicle."

Slowly, my hand reached for the button on the dash that would unlock the doors. Once it clicked, I waited to be dragged out of the car, but it never happened, so I opened the door slowly myself and stepped out, my hands raised but my head bowed.

"Officer Swan." Were the only words that escaped my lips.

"Edward, Does Dr. Cullen know you're driving his vehicle? I assume you have his consent considering you're driving tonight like you have the devil himself on your tail?"

He waited for a response. What was I going to say to him? There was nothing I could think of, so I said nothing.

"Edward, talk to me, son. What's going on with you? You're not the type of boy to do something like this. I'm not going to arrest you, but I'm taking you to the station before I call your parents, okay?"

I nodded slowly and made my way to the back of the Police cruiser with Officer Swan at my side. I got in the back seat, and as I looked out of the window, I saw Jacob's car drive past. He slowed down as he went by and I knew that he saw me as our eyes locked for an instant before I looked away.

The journey to the Police station was silent. Charlie kept looking at me in the rear view mirror as if he expected me to suddenly open up and speak to him. I just wanted to be left alone.

Once at the station, he escorted me through to his office where he got me a soda before he left. I assumed to make the call to my parents.

As I sat, for what felt like hours before the door burst open and my mom rushed towards me. "Edward Cullen, don't you ever do that to me again, do you hear me? We were so worried." She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly.

I could hear Charlie and my father talking just outside the door. "I appreciate this Charlie, I really do. You know what he's been through in the last couple of weeks. It's not been easy, for any of us, especially not Edward."

"I do, that's why I turned a blind eye to this. He hasn't been in trouble before and I know that you and your family have been to hell and back. I wouldn't want to add to your troubles. Hell, I have one at home that keeps me busy."

I heard them laugh and my father spoke again. "Really, Charlie, I can't thank you enough for this. I can assure you this won't happen again. Edward does have his own car, so I have no idea why he took mine. I told him that in emergencies, he could use it, so maybe this was my fault after all."

"No problem; just happy to help you out after you fixed up Bella the other day."

Hearing her name was like a dagger to my heart.

My father entered the room, fixing me with a stern look. "Son, let's get you home. Then we need to talk."

Authors Note:

Firstly, apologies for the length of time it has been since the last update, RL gave me an ass whopping and my mojo for this ran away too, plus my poor beta Cosmom has not been able to get to this. So I have asked Dreamofrob10 to step into the breach and look at this for me, thanks hun and sorry I have you with another fic to read. OOH Pre-read by FFaddward - thanks hun!

Thanks for reading!

Lou x x x