Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last chapter. I know that the last chapter seemed a bit jarring but there is a purpose to my madness and it was always my intent for Carol to not be the absolute villain of the piece (although her father being such a horrible person in STID is a gift that I will be taking full advantage of because now I don't need to use an OC to play that part as originally planned). Right now, you are only seeing little pieces but I do have a master plan.

I am taking a few elements from STID but that's mostly Section 31 and Carol's father. As mentioned in the previous chapter, most of what happened in STID did not occur in this universe because Carol did not keep her mouth shut. Every action has consequences and we will see if things turn out to be a lot worse in the long run. (If you're craving a STID rewrite/remix, check out the first chapter of my story Dear James)

I have my computer back although the good voice recognition software is just now starting to work correctly. Apparently, when your computer's hard drive dies a horrible death you lose access to the good voice recognition software. I had to use my backup software that requires way too much programming for my personal taste and it gave me a sore throat when I wrote this chapter. This chapter is about half the size I was originally planning because my voice just got too tired.

The song for this chapter is The Heart of the Matter because I actually started humming it while writing the chapter (although, the more traditional interpretation of the lyrics will apply more to part two).

Originally by Don Hensley

The version I have on my iPod is performed by India Arie.

Lyric excerpt:

I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you sometimes

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again

This chapter begins right where chapter five left off.

Warning: Description of past domestic violence

Chapter seven: In Search of Absolution: Part one

For somebody who was trying to hide from an ex-husband, who would kill her if he ever found her again, she did too many stupid things that would get her caught one day or another. She should have gone to a far off colony, instead she stayed on Earth. She couldn't bring herself to be that far away from her youngest child, even if for his own safety he needed to believe that she was dead. (She knew Frank would kill Jim just to get to her if he actually believed she was still alive.)

She ended up in San Francisco because Jim was there. It was a dumb thing. After a long career in Starfleet, the city was teeming with people that may be able to recognize her. Winona lied to herself and said it would be ok because nobody would be able to see past the superficial changes to her appearance and her new identity as the mild manner schoolteacher Whitney River.

Even though she was hiding to keep Georgia safe, she couldn't just stop being Jim's mom. She even visited her son's favorite off campus dive bar actually called the Dive Bar a few times. It was the only drinking establishment that Jim went to on a regular basis where a 50 something wouldn't be totally out of place, even if she barely looked 40.

That's actually where she met her wife. Kayah was 15 years younger than her with dark, curly hair and a wicked sense of humor. She had no trouble with accepting her two year old daughter and the fact that Winona was essentially a woman without a past. The way Winona feels about her reminded her a lot of how she felt around George in the beginning. Kayah definitely made her skin tingle with every single touch.

The way they met was even similar. Winona was trying to make sure that Jim did not see her and she ran straight into Kayah. When Kayah handed Winona her purse, their fingers touched and she received that same tingling feeling that she experienced the first time she touched George. She just knew there was something about this woman that made her willing to consider doing something harder than a quick fuck before picking Georgia up from the sitter.

The fact that she didn't run away when Winona told her the absolute truth after Kayah proposed was the only reason why Winona walked down the aisle for a third time. Kayah knew that Whitney was really Winona and she was on the run from her ex-husband who would kill her if he ever found her and that was before she turned state's evidence on her former lover (of course they still haven't been able to convict the man for anything, despite the truckload of computer files that she gave them). Before today, the only people who knew the complete story of what happened were her handlers, Kayah, and the doctor who helped her get out and even then he didn't know her real name. (Considering, he was now working with her son that was a good thing.)

She considered it a small miracle that her son or someone else never caught her (until today). Jim came close on his wedding day. Kayah told her not to go but she couldn't not be there on such an important day in her son's life. Of course, Jim saw her but she was able to get out of there before he caught up to her. Unfortunately, on the way out she ran right into her former boss Admiral Marcus. Thankfully, he was too distracted arguing with his only daughter about getting pregnant again before getting married (the ass was always a little too old fashioned and paranoid for her taste) to recognize her. He didn't believe the story about the sperm donor or whatever. Winona was too busy trying to get off the Starfleet academy campus without running into anybody else that can see past the contacts and expert dye job to actually pay attention.

After that incident, she should have been more careful but she wasn't. Really, the moment that she ended up having her son's sister in law as a student, she should have convinced Kayah to move several light-years away (or at least put the little girl in a different class). Of course, the little girl reminded Winona way too much of Jim and she did not want to run away. She even made the mistake of offering to take care of the little girl whenever Dr. Grayson was running late. She remembered all too well what it was like being a single parent due to widowhood with a child who was prone to cause parent teacher conferences on a daily basis. They were even both widows because of the same madman.

Her wife said it had something to do with all the stories that T'Pay told her about her favorite brother in law and babysitter in space. She allowed Winona to safely check up on Jim. Or at least Winona convinced herself it was safe because Amanda never met her and Jim was supposed to be in deep space for at least the next year. T'Pay Grayson would be safely in another class before Winona would have to deal with accidentally being found out. Of course, she wasn't anticipating being caught by her best friend, who her little student referred to as Admiral Daddy. She should have known this was going to happen.

"Winona, I can't believe you did this to Jim!" Chris screamed at her. The last time he yelled at her like this was when she went back to Frank.

"My name isn't Winona anymore, it's Whitney. Winona died several years ago when she had to do the only thing she could to save her family," Winona told him with bitter sarcasm.

"Can we not do this right now? Your girlfriend will be back any moment and there's a small child on the other side of that door. She probably can hear everything," she did not want to talk about this at all. Yes, she trusted Chris in the sense that he would not betray her location to Frank. The problem was she knew he would tell Jimmy and he would be fucking furious. He wouldn't get why she left. He would assume that she abandoned him, when she didn't. He was never going to forgive her for what she did, even if it came out of a place of love.

"Amanda's not my girlfriend. She is your fellow mother in law of." Chris said in the iciest voice she has ever heard from the man. "Her son is married to your son. You know, the one you abandon to play happy family with that woman who looks barely 30 years old," he said this as he pointed to the image on her desk. "I think she is younger than what Sam would have been if…" Chris stopped right there, as if he just realized that he let his temper get the best of him.

"Don't bite your tongue Chris. Sam is dead and Frank is the reason why. I already knew. He told me that the last time I tried to get away from him before I took the option of last resort. Of course, he was holding a knife to my stomach at the time. He said he had no trouble killing another one of my children, starting with the one that was in my stomach. He also said that just like the first time, they would never find the bodies. That's why I had to get out by whatever means necessary." Winona closed her eyes as she remembered the incident. She's personally surprised Georgia survived the beating that she suffered. He said that he would kill Georgia first and then go after Jim. He said he would slit his throat right in front of her if she ever thought about leaving him. The bastard knew the only way to destroy her would be through her children. She would do anything for Jim and Georgia, even if it meant leaving her entire life behind to go into witness protection.

"The bastard didn't do that good a job since we found the body when we were excavating for the new academy," Chris said as every word of his dripped with sarcasm. "Your excuses are bullshit. Why the hell did you not come to me or one of your other friends? What the FUCK were you thinking?"

"That I didn't want to raise another kid with that abusive prick. I did what I had to," Winona said fighting back tears. She was not expecting absolution, she just wanted Chris to understand why she did what she did. "Can we just not talk about this now?"

"I'm not sure I'll get another chance. Tomorrow, you will be gone," Chris said bitterly.

"I'm not going to uproot my wife and daughter when I haven't really been compromised. You're not going to tell Frank. I trust you," she knew Chris would never betray her.

"I'm not sure about that. If you did trust me, we wouldn't be here. I'm not going to tell that fucking ass where you are. However, I sure as hell am going to tell Jim. Do you have any idea what your 'death' did to him? Again, how the fuck could you do this to him? He's going to be back planet side in six weeks, sooner if Jackson gets his way. He is pissed at Jim." It was obvious that Chris was not telling her something.

"Marcus's favorite lackey is now a member of the Admiralty?" Winona asked not wanting to talk about her son. He was never going to forgive her for leaving the way she did even if it was the logical choice.

"When my former mentor and your former boss 'retired', due to 'personal problems', they had no choice but to turn over his projects to Jackson. He was the only one who had half a clue of what was going on." Winona snorted to herself. She knew the man too well to believe that story. Even she knew that her former captain had a nervous breakdown of 'most likely to start a war with the Klingons' proportions. The man always was a warmonger. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that her classes are filled with the children or grandchildren of ambassadors, members of the Admiralty, and other of the San Francisco elite. She was placed at the school for a reason. Also, her handler always gave her the best gossip. She was going to have to call her as soon as Chris and Dr. Grayson left her.

"We can talk tomorrow at the Dive Bar. If I find that babysitter, I will bring my wife." She suggested.

"I think that's the bar I had to pick your son up at way too many times, before he met his husband, anyway." She was sure there was a story there but she did not ask.

"That's not going to work. I would like to know what the hell is going on before I have to speak with Jim again and because of what's going on that's going to happen sooner rather than later. How about tomorrow morning at the Butterfly Café? There's a play area to keep Georgia occupied, even if you can't find a babysitter." Chris suggested.

"You would know all about which restaurants have play areas. Really, just friends?" Winona snickered and Chris blushed. "I will meet you there at seven."

"I just suggested it because they have your favorite ice caramel latte." Chris said with a snicker. She almost wondered if that was his way of apologizing for overreacting. She doesn't get to ask Chris anymore questions because she heard the footsteps of Dr. Grayson and her very energetic seven year old.

"Okay, apparently there's an override code for situations like these." Amanda said walking into the room and Chris focused only on her again. No one with eyes will mistake those two for merely friends. Nobody does denial like Chris.

Of course, they don't need it because that's when her favorite little Vulcan decided to actually open the bathroom.

Her long suffering wife believed it was funny when Georgia recounted the entire incident over the dinner table. She thought it was less funny when she told her about Chris but she called her friend Casey to baby sit Georgette just in case.

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Nyota had the worst headache ever and she blamed it on the fact she was acting captain during a situation that just screamed conspiracy theory (she really wished Jim put Sulu in charge for this mess). After her crying attack, she was hoping that she would be able to tell Jim about the Sam situation. That didn't happen because Christine decided it would be the perfect time to come clean regarding the situation with Carol and David (or at least her version of it). She was fucking pissed that Christine kept her mouth shut. They needed to know what they were getting into before they arrived on NCX17. Christine had that information and she didn't say anything. Her actions put the entire team in danger.

The personal stuff she didn't care about. It was all just another reason to despise Carol. How the fuck could she not have told Spock what was happening? (If she was trying to tell Spock the truth at the wedding after supposedly retrieving little David from frozen storage she was an even bigger bitch then originally assumed). It wasn't her choice to make such a decision without at least telling Spock what was going on, if that's what really happened.

She wasn't so sure. Carol seemed overly smug when she tried to crash the wedding. That could have just been bravado and maybe there was some sort of purpose to her madness. There also could have been some more sinister reason behind her actions. She didn't seem like the type of person you could trust. If you lie about your age and your last name, what else are you going to lie about?

Even though Gaila has yet to recover any data from the research facility or get the remaining systems back online, Nyota just knew something was very shady about what was going on and that was before the revelations about David. She wondered if the facility was part of the fabled Section 31. If they really were working on something that could for all intents and purposes bring a child back from the dead (and change said child on a genetic level) that seemed highly probable.

Nyota personally did not feel that you can trust anybody who would be a part of something like that and it was pretty obvious that whatever was going on in the colony was not really Federation sanctioned (Jackson's bazaar orders was evidence of that). Anyone who was a part of something like this was essentially a professional liar and could not be trusted. That fits in perfectly with how Nyota saw the woman.

Nyota was not even entirely sure they could trust what Christine was saying about the mysterious Dr. Jane Jackson (mostly because the information came from Carol). Other than a couple of society articles on Jane Jackson in her capacity as Jackson's wife at various Starfleet events, they were not able to find anything on the woman, not even her marriage license. Although, that may be a sign that at least part of Christine's bizarre story was true. There had to be a reason why Jackson did not want the group investigating. If his wife was part of this, that would explain why he is trying to keep Enterprise from asking questions. There was obviously something going on that he didn't want to come out.

Nyota was trying very hard to stay professional and not smack her colleague upside the head for lying and concealing evidence. At some point, Jim, of all people, had to pull her out of the conference room with the flimsy excuse of calling Pike. She knew it was an excuse because that conference room had the ability to contact Pike directly. (Jim made them go to the conference room closest to his quarters because he did not want to wake David. She personally felt it was because Jim did not want Spock to listen in on the conversation because it was obvious Jim was worried about Spock's reaction to Christine's 'true' confessions and did not want him to have to listen to it all again.)

"Deep cleansing breath, remember she is your friend and you really don't want to piss off somebody who is in charge of your medical well-being," Jim said cheekily as they continued on to wherever Jim was taking her.

"You do it to Leonard all the time," she mumbled under her breath. "If she really was my friend, she would have told me that my best friend had a kid who was being hidden from him by a delusional, lying, psychopath bitch. Do you actually believe the bullshit that was coming from her? It sounded like something straight from a trashy Harlequin novel."

"About as much as I trust Spock when he says he is fine right now," Jim snorted.

"That's because when your husband uses the word fine it means he's falling apart. He hates that word and any of its equally ambiguous equivalents. He is definitely not fine right now," she snorted.

"I don't think Spock completely believes this version of events either, even if it does sound like something Sarek would have done. But I don't know what the point of lying would be now. Even if it was true, I don't know if Spock would ever be able to forgive her even if she was alive to receive forgiveness." Jim said sadly.

"That's true," Nyota said bitterly.

"I don't know if we are ever going to know the truth. Two of the three people involved are dead, and depending on what Pike tells us, it may be in our best interest not to talk to the third about it. I'm more concerned about Jane Jackson and the fact that we cannot find anything about her older then my stepson, not even her marriage license. It's like she didn't exist before three years ago. The only reason why we need to verify this story about how David came into existence at all is if my hybrid husband managed to get his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant the old fashion way, that means that they were working on something that could not only bring a child back from the dead, but also change that child on a molecular level. That is some dangerous shit." Jim said with worry in his voice.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Nyota said echoing James worry.

"Yes and whoever shot up the place now has that research and we don't. You know they uploaded everything before they wrecked the computers. The way they did it was strange because it would have been just easier to blow everything up. We don't even know how they got on and off the planet. There was no evidence whatsoever of any ship in the vicinity." James said worriedly.

"Well they could have done what you did to get back on the ship when your ex-boyfriend* decided to send you to the ice planet of the damned." She said jokingly until she realized that was a possibility. "Didn't Starfleet force Scotty to give over the equation?" she said becoming very serious.

"Shit. Okay, now we really need to talk to Chris," He said as they walked into Jim's office.

"Fuck," or rather she said the Klingon equivalent when she realized that she was out of time.

"Before we try to contact Chris, I need to tell you something," she started ominously.

"I already figured out that our long range communications capabilities are not as out as you said they were," Jim joked.

"That is not what I want to talk about. They really are out, they will just happen to conveniently come on in about 3 minutes," she joked to get rid of some of her nervousness. It did not work.

"That's not it. I need to tell you something and I'm not sure how," Nyota started again.

"Unless it involves the current crazy situation, it can wait," she had no choice but to go along with his command. Her only consolation was she felt it was highly unlikely that admiral Pike would mention the Sam situation.

Although she exhaled when she found out that the admiral wasn't there. Jim started laughing when he found out he left with Amanda until he was told that Amanda was there for a 'briefing' on David. That's when he let out a few curse words before deciding to contact Pike through alternate means.

"I'm so sorry to hear about your loss." Pike's assistant or whatever said just as he was about to end the call. Nyota was repressing the urge to curse in Klingon again.

"I really didn't know Carol very well but losing a parent is always hard even when you're little. I will pass your condolences on to Spock and our son." She was too touched by Jim referring to David as his son to realize what was about to happen. She should have ended the call right there. She was so fucked.

"I was talking about your brother. I thought the Admiral told you that they found his body when they were preparing the site for the new academy in Iowa." Judging by James expression alone, the assistant realized it was a very good time to end the conversation. Her response was to let out a string of Klingon curse words.

"Explain now!" Jim demanded. The look he was giving her told her that she was completely screwed.

To be continued.

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