Disclaimer: All HP characters are the property of JKR, the WB, and respective publishing companies and all Naruto characters are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. This is nothing more than a simple FanFiction that I have written. I have made no money from this or any of the other stories I have posted on this or other sites.
Warnings: AU for parts of both worlds (i.e. kiss canon goodbye), mild character bashing, mild to moderate violence (there are shinobi involved after all), and a few others that will be announced as they crop up.
AN: This story is self-beta'd; so there may be occasional grammatical or spelling errors that crop up every now and then and for those I apologize in advance.
Chapter 24: Snapshots of a Shinobi's Life
Tuesday, February 25, 2003, Mid-Morning
Konohagakure no Sato, Hi no Kuni
"My arms are going to fall off if I have to pick up even one more piece of trash," Naruto complained as he tied a knot in the overstuffed plastic bag he'd just finished filling up.
"Picking up trash is far better than helping clean out the Inuzuka Kennels again," Housei countered as he tossed his bag of trash onto the pile of similar bags that were sitting in the hand drawn cart sitting outside of the Memorial Park that their team was cleaning up.
"It's not just the stupid trash," Naruto shot back as he finished tying the bag closed and heaved it into the cart with the rest of the garbage. "I'm sick of doing D Ranked missions, dattebayo! They're pretty much all we've been doing for the last year. I still don't see why Kakashi-sensei won't let us do more than one C Ranked mission a month."
"Sensei already told us why we have to do D Ranked missions," Midori chided as she joined the two boys. "Performing various tasks around the village helps to strengthen relations between shinobi and civilians."
"I know that… I just don't see why we can't stick to doing one chore a month and do real missions the rest of the time."
"It's because it wouldn't be fair to the other teams that are also qualified to take the higher ranked missions," Housei pointed out as he tossed Naruto a fresh bag. "The higher the rank of the mission, the higher the pay that is awarded to the team that takes the mission and everyone needs that money to cover their monthly expenses. That is especially true of those shinobi that don't have clan funds to fall back on when their monthly mission pay falls short of their bills. So, to keep things fair, the missions are spread out over all of the teams that are qualified to take them."
"On top of the careful division of mission assignments, the clans are restricted on the total number of shinobi of each rank that they are allowed to have on active duty," Midori added as she snagged another bag and headed back into the park. "The total numbers and their assigned ranks are determined by the size of the clan, the financial stability of the clan, the type and number of businesses that the clan has invested in or outright owns, and the amount of taxes the clan pays back to the village."
"Each clan shinobi is also only on active duty for between five and ten years before they are retired from active duty and placed on the reserve force. Once a clan shinobi is moved into the reserves, they typically take up the family business or they are assigned to a permanent job (such as working at the hospital or on guard rotation) where they earn a straight salary instead of a commission from mission assignments. Exceptions are made for those individuals that make a name for themselves or that show exceptional talent because the clients expect to hire them due to their reputations."
"Oh, I guess that kinda makes sense," Naruto mused as he and Housei followed in Midori's wake as she headed to the section of the park that they'd not yet cleaned. He then began frowning a bit before he asked, "Does that mean that it's my fault we're stuck doing so many rotten chores instead of real missions?"
"Sort of but it's mostly because Midori and I moved into the Namikaze Apartments with you when Takeshi-san offered to let us live there on a permanent basis rather than just spending the occasional night there like we used to. Even though we're not actually official wards of the Namikaze Clan, we are seen as such now that we live with you. The fact that your cousin doesn't charge us rent to live with you also means that our living expenses dropped drastically since we no longer have to pay rent and utilities or buy our own groceries."
"What's the big deal about being the ward of a clan? And what exactly is a ward? Would that mean that Takeshi-nii has adopted you or something?"
"No, it's not adoption; it's more like being fostered by a family," Midori corrected as she paused to brush a stray strand of hair that had escaped her right ponytail out of her face. "Fosterage occurs when a child is basically sent to live with another family to be raised or trained either for their protection, to repay a debt, or because the child's family does not have the means or time to raise or train the child themselves. The Fosterer (the person taking a foster child) is then responsible for his ward's welfare, education, and training until such a time as the child reaches their majority or the terms of the Fosterage have been met and the child can be returned to his family."
"In Konoha, many of the clans will actually foster or rather sponsor orphans or underprivileged children from civilian and merchant families that have some potential as shinobi. The Sponsor then assumes guardianship of the child until he or she graduates from the Academy or in some cases until they reach Chuunin level. Those clans or families that sponsor future shinobi get specialized tax breaks for their generosity, gifts or services from the child's family (if they are still alive), and the right to increase the number of shinobi in their clan by the count of one for every three such children that make the rank of Genin."
"The sponsored children are then provided with a home (if they are orphans), a small stipend to pay for their basic needs (such as food, clothes, and shinobi supplies), and political protection. If the child still lives with their families, then the money that would have gone towards rent for an apartment is halved and provided to the child's family to ease any financial burden they might bear as a result of their child being placed in the Academy. Any additional involvement between the sponsor and sponsored is then dependant upon the sponsor in question and how much of a relationship that the sponsor wants to have with those children he or she has sponsored."
"The child is then required to perform at a certain level in order to retain the sponsorship, behave appropriately in order to protect both their own reputation and the reputation of the clan or individual sponsoring them, and at some point in the future (once they've obtained their hitai-ate or a specific age or rank) repay the clan or family for the sponsorship. There are exceptions in the cases where a clan chooses to anonymously sponsor one or more children and those children are usually required to pay their debt to the village instead of to a clan."
"There are drawbacks to being sponsored as well, since your choices and actions will reflect back on your sponsor and it is far more difficult to obtain other forms of financial aide since it is assumed that your sponsor is paying for all of your essentials. And once you have earned your hitai-ate, things become even harder because you have to juggle your responsibilities as both a shinobi and as the receiver of a sponsorship."
"So, how does that affect the two of you?" Naruto asked as he tried to keep track of everything he'd just learned.
"We fall into a bit of a gray area since we aren't exactly wards of a clan but at the same time we aren't exactly paying our own way any longer," Housei quietly answered; the older boy obviously uncomfortable discussing the current topic with the heir of the clan that was unofficially sponsoring him at the moment. "So, basically, we have to deal with all of the drawbacks while receiving few or none of the benefits of an official sponsorship."
"Well that sucks," Naruto stated rather indignantly; his blunt appraisal of the situation rather shocking his two teammates as they had thought the blond was angry or indifferent to their plight since he hadn't said anything sooner and they were still weren't comfortable enough with Takeshi to bring the matter up to the current Namikaze Clan Head at the moment. "It's not right, either. Have you talked to niisan about it?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"We don't want to make him mad enough to kick us out," Midori admitted in a small voice.
"Don't be an idiot! Takeshi-nii would never kick you out over something like that. In fact, you'd have to commit a crime against nature or intentionally hurt Satoshi-kun to get him to kick you out and I can't see either one of you doing something like that, dattebayo! And if he knew it was causing you problems, he'd fix everything before you could say ramen because Takeshi-nii is cool like that. And I know he really likes you both 'cause if he didn't, then he never would have offered to let you both move in with us."
"Chibi-kun has a point," Housei admitted with a small grin.
"Oi! Watch who you're calling a midget, bean-pole!"
"You're both idiots," Midori fondly huffed as she grinned at both of them.
"Then it's settled; we'll talk to oniisan after lunch."
"After lunch?"
"Yep, after lunch; you just have to tell Takeshi-nii that you want to be recognized as wards of our clan and he'll take care of it, dattebayo," Naruto insisted before he stopped what he was doing and glanced nervously at his teammates before he hesitantly added, "Unless, you don't want to be wards of the Namikaze Clan. In which case, he'd probably accept a small payment each month for rent so you'd no longer be seen as his unofficial wards."
"Would you be alright with us being wards of your family, Naruto?" Housei inquired a little nervously.
"Why wouldn't I be? I mean, you're both practically already part of the family."
"Do you really think Takeshi-san would make us official wards?" Midori asked as she grew thoughtful.
"Hai; like I said earlier, he likes both of you."
Nothing more was said about the matter as the three of them returned their attention to their current mission and resumed gathering up the scattered garbage that had been blown into or dumped in the park. They would finish cleaning up the park by fifteen minutes after eleven and Naruto would leave his clones to haul the cart of garbage to the dump while the three of them headed for the park's facilities in order to wash their hands and face. Kakashi greeted them at the entrance of the park once they were finished washing up and the four of them would head to the Hokage's tower in order to fill out their mission report.
"Are you going to join us for lunch today, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto inquired as their team handed in their reports before slipping out the nearest window to avoid an incoming group of Genin teams looking to pick up an afternoon mission.
"Hmm, not today; I have a long standing appointment for twelve-fifteen that I can not miss."
"That's adult-speak for he's going to do his rounds of the village's bookstores to pick up his fifteen reserved copies of the latest release in the Icha-Icha Series," Housei stage whispered to his younger two teammates; all three of them smirking over the truth in that statement.
"And that was gaki-speak for I want to clean out the sewers on our next mission," Kakashi deadpanned in return as he mocked glared his Genin.
"Which is adult-speak for I was born without a sense of humor," Naruto quipped in a mock-solemn tone.
"Get out of here brats; before I decide to offer your cleaning services to the Inuzuka for the entire afternoon again."
All three Genin shuddered in response to the threat before they quickly took off running; none of them wished to spend another day cleaning up after the large number of ninken that the Inuzuka bred and raised. Ninja training did not reduce the sheer amount of poop that a ninken could produce on the specialized diet that the Inuzuka hounds were fed. Naruto hadn't even known it was possible for dogs to poop that much until they'd taken the Kennel Mission one slow afternoon when the three of them had been grown tired of training.
Needless to say, they would never again refer to training as boring; no matter how tedious said training was.
The semi-sadistically creative punishments their sensei regularly came up with were soon pushed out of their minds as the three of them prepared for their up coming discussion with Takeshi about making Housei and Midori's status as wards of the Namikaze Clan official.
Monday, March 10, 2003, Early Evening
Konohagakure no Sato, Hi no Kuni
Naruto, Housei, and Midori had barely set foot inside of the Namikaze Apartments after an afternoon of grueling training when they suddenly found a stern Takeshi looming over them with an unreadable expression on his face. Naruto was no longer afraid of his cousin and he knew his cousin would never send him away but he was more than a little worried about what had happened. He was also rather puzzled by the fact that he was having trouble getting a read on Takeshi's current emotions.
"I just spent the last hour in a meeting with the Hokage and the three of you are in big trouble," Takeshi ominously announced as he folded his arms across his chest. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"
"We were only trying to help her get over her fear of spiders?" Naruto tentatively offered as he immediately thought that Mitarashi Anko had filed a formal complaint about the latest prank their team had played on her.
The three of them had recently learned that the woman did not care for spiders (read hated them with a passion second only to her love of dango). Knowing just how dangerous it was for shinobi to have crippling phobias since it could get them killed on a mission, the three of them had gathered up dozens of local non-lethal species of the arachnids (with the help of a member from the Aburame Clan in exchange for a case of imported honey) so they could help the woman get over her fears.
They'd then let all of those spiders (ranging in size from barely visible to the naked eye to large enough to eat a medium size dog in one sitting) loose in Mitarashi's office within the T and I Facility during a midnight raid.
The sound of the kunoichi's screams echoing across the village had been music to Naruto's ears the next morning.
Naruto felt a small spike of amusement from his cousin before he dryly instructed, "Try again."
"Ano… she started it!" Naruto blurted out in an effort to shift the blame back onto the 'evil' (in Naruto's mind, at least) kunoichi that had frightened Satoshi and attacked Takeshi's back when they first returned to Konoha.
"Your transgressions have nothing to do with Mitarashi – this time," Takeshi corrected as he dropped his chin down to peer over the top of his glass as the trio.
"What did we do wrong then, Takeshi-san?" Housei asked in confusion after the three Genin exchanged a confused look in an effort to figure out what was going on since they couldn't think of what they might have done to get them in trouble with the Hokage aside from their routine pranking of the Mitarashi woman.
"What am I going to do with the three of you?" Takeshi dramatically asked instead of actually answering Housei's question. He then withdrew a trio of unmarked envelopes from his cloak pocket and passed one to each Genin as he disappointedly told them, "The three of you will need to think carefully about the trouble you have caused recently and live with the punishment you have garnered for what you have done."
Takeshi abruptly left them standing there feeling rather guilty and more than a little confused about what had just happened. Naruto's scrunched up in thought as he tried to figure out just what was off about the entire thing as his eyes drifted to the two envelopes being held by his teammates and friends before returning to the one in his own hand.
"Think we should open them now?" Naruto asked as he swallowed back his nervousness.
"Might as well; I doubt we're ever going to figure out what it was we did that got us in trouble if we don't," Midori pointed out logically as she flipped the envelope in her hand over a couple of times.
All three Genin tore the edge from their respective envelopes in unison and Housei and Midori both withdrew official looking documents from within the envelopes that they'd been given while Naruto only found a small scrap of folded parchment in his. He unfolded the little slip of thick paper with trepidation only to stare at the single sentence written on it in confusion for several seconds.
Be sure to congratulate your teammates, squirt!
Naruto's attention was drawn from the parchment slip by a loud squeal from Midori who then jumped on Naruto and hugged him to death as she jumped up and down in place. Housei joined in the hug a moment later as he laughed out loud and gave the blond a noogie.
"We're official!" Midori crowed as she broke their hug first so she could wave the document in her hand at Naruto. "The Hokage signed off on us becoming official wards of the Namikaze Clan!"
Naruto's confusion melted away upon hearing the kunoichi's years and he belted out a happy, "Yatta!" He then fell still as he realized something very important. A calculating gleam soon entered his eyes as he whispered, "Takeshi-nii just pranked us. He purposely made us think we were in trouble, dattebayo. You know what that means, ne?"
"It means war!" all three Genin cried in unison.
The amused laugh that drifted back to the trio of underage shinobi only fueled their inner pranksters as they immediately bolted through the house looking for their target. They would find him in the kitchen where he was just setting three plates of food on the table. As the trio tumbled through the door intent on catching their guardian, Takeshi smirked at them before he vanished in a cloud of chakra smoke; Takeshi had sent a clone to prank them. That knowledge let Naruto know why he'd had such a hard time reading his cousin's emotions earlier; Takeshi's clones never felt or radiated emotions as intensely as his cousin did.
Knowing that the real Takeshi could be just about anywhere in the village, the three Genin quickly washed up before they sat down to eat supper while they huddled together and made plans for the prank war that Takeshi had declared on them with his earlier prank. Fuel would be added to the fire when the three of them suddenly began sporting pink feathers as a result of a potion that had been added to their food. By the time they had finished eating, and molting their feathers, the three of them had several rough plans of attack and they split up to gather their supplies.
Ten minutes later, the three of them met in the living room before they headed outside so that Naruto could spam the village with clones to hunt down Takeshi; every single clone transforming into various birds so they could cover more ground. After the clones had taken wing, the three of them began setting their first traps while they waited for word on where their opponent was hiding.
The Prank War would last well into the night and would have many casualties as several innocents (and not so innocents in the case of the Mitarashi woman and Kakashi – the latter had known about the prank Takeshi had planned to play on the trio before hand and purposefully hadn't warned them) were caught up in the traps the various participants threw at each other.
By the time a truce had been called around ten-thirty, all four participants (and numerous non-participants) had been covered in an assortment of messy, silly, and disgusting things and more than a little exhausted and the troops retired for the night in order to clean themselves so they could head off to bed.
Naruto was sporting a grin that near split his face in half as he crawled into bed that night; his teammates, his friends, were now pretty much part of his family.
And his cousin was the absolute best cousin in the world.
What other clan head would be silly enough to start a prank war in order to celebrate the induction of two orphans into the clan?
Monday, April 07, 2003, Noon
Konohagakure no Sato, Hi no Kuni
Team Kakashi was ambling along towards the Namikaze Wheelhouse where they were planning to eat lunch together after spending the entire morning chasing down an ostrich, of all things, that had escaped from its owner. They were about half way to their destination when Kakashi suddenly stopped in the middle of the road; his unexpected cessation of movement causing the three Genin to trip over themselves and each other in an effort to avoid walking into their sensei.
"Ano, is there something wrong, Kakashi-sensei?" Midori asked as the three Genin curiously noted the shocked and almost nervous expression on the Jounin's face.
"No, not even the Hokage would be crazy enough to put those three together on the same team," Kakashi muttered under his breath as he shook himself and began walking again.
"Is it just me or is sensei acting a bit weird all of a sudden," Housei inquired softly as the three of them slowly began following their sensei once more even as they tried to scan the surrounding crowds in order to figure out just who the Jounin had been talking about. Naruto and Midori shot the older teen an incredulous look in response to his question and Housei promptly blushed as he amended, "I meant weirder than usual."
"I don't know; sometimes it's hard to tell with sensei," Naruto mused as he eyed the man that had been his instructor for the past eighteen months.
"Oh hey, isn't that Takeshi's Jounin-teichou?" Midori inquired as she caught sight of Yamato-san in the crowd.
"Yeah, it is," Naruto agreed as he easily picked out the Jounin from the surrounding crowd due to the way most of the civilians were avoiding the man as he walked with a metaphorical dark cloud over top of his head. "If he's here, then that means oniisan is probably somewhere close by as well. I wonder if they're going to have lunch at the Wheelhouse too."
"He doesn't look all that happy, does he?" Housei asked as he finally spotted the Jounin as well.
"Keshi-nii probably killed another tree while training this morning; Yamato-teichou hates it when he does that," Naruto remarked before he grabbed hold of his teammates by the wrist and began dragging them towards the Jounin. "Come on, let's see if we can find niisan and ask him if he'll eat lunch with us today."
By the time they'd caught up to both Yamato and Kakashi, the two Jounin had entered the Wheelhouse's lobby together. The trio of Genin piled through the doors just a minute after them and immediately found Takeshi chatting animatedly with a pair of slightly older men that Naruto recognized as the Chuunin that often guarded the main gates. Kakashi and Yamato were standing off to one side of the trio and the proverbial black cloud over Yamato's head had expanded to cover Kakashi as well.
"Keshi-nii! Will you eat lunch with us?" Naruto demanded as he bounded across the lobby to latch onto Takeshi's waist from the back as he pushed the weirdness of the two Jounin from his mind in favor of convincing his cousin to spend lunch with Team Kakashi.
"So, you must be the infamous little ankle-biter that annoyed Yamato-teichou with a prank or two," the Chuunin with the bandage running across the bridge of his nose commented as he leaned around Takeshi in order to inspect Naruto.
"I'm not a midget!" Naruto protested as he scowled at the man.
"You can prank him for it later, Naruto," Takeshi quipped as he extracted himself from Naruto's hold and pulled the pre-teen out from behind him. "In the mean time, allow me to introduce you to Hagane Kotetsu and Kamizuki Izumo; my newly assigned teammates and fellow practitioners of the fine art of pranking. Teammates, meet my cousin; Namikaze Naruto. Hovering behind us are Naruto's teammates; Ikeda Housei and Tanaka Midori. All three of whom are highly troublesome pranksters with a habit of pranking those who annoy them."
"Hey, Tetsu, it sounds like our position as the biggest pranksters in the shinobi ranks is being challenged by a trio of wet behind the ears Genin," Izumo absently remarked as a mischievous smirk slowly spread across his face.
"Zumo, I do believe you are correct and you know that means, ne?"
Naruto exchanged a quick glance with Housei and Midori and all three of them subtly nodded in agreement before they cried out in unison, "It means war!"
"I give it a week before the village collapses in flames," Kakashi pessimistically predicted from where he was trying to console a distraught Yamato.
"The village might be lucky to last an entire week but I don't think Yamato-san is going to last an hour," Arata dryly quipped as he approached the group. "So, shall I set the lot of you up with one room or two?"
"Two, Yamato and I are going to need every bit of plausible deniability we can get if we're to survive their war with our careers intact," Kakashi replied as he jerked his thumb in the direction of the six pranksters.
"Kakashi-sensei is so mean, dattebayo," Naruto dramatically complained as he pouted at his sensei. "His shriveled and dying sense of humor is doomed to a tragic end as it is being drowned out by sheer uncoolness."
"Such a tragic end," Izumo and Kotetsu solemnly agreed.
"Kakashi's sense of humor is perfectly fine; it's his sanity I'm worried about. Putting up with you troublemakers is enough to drive anyone crazy, I should know," Arata drawled with obvious amusement. "Now, if all of you are done causing a scene; rooms eighteen and nineteen upstairs are free. I'll send someone up to take your orders in about five minutes."
As the group of eight shinobi began migrating towards the stairs leading up to the second floor of the restaurant, Naruto curiously asked, "So, what kind of pranks do the two of you prefer?"
"Genjutsu," Izumo answered automatically.
"And traps… can't forget the traps," Kotetsu added a split second later.
"And traps," Izumo agreed with a nod.
"And don't forget the Mizuame Nabara," Kotetsu interjected next.
"How could I forget that…? It's not like you never ask me to make you buckets of syrup once or twice a week," Izumo grumbled sarcastically.
"Well, I can't help it if I have a sweet tooth and it's not like I'm asking for gallons of the stuff all the time; just a little bit here and there."
"Just a little bit, he says, but it's not his chakra reserves that get eaten up each time he guzzles the syrup I make."
"You two are so weird," Midori interjected as their group reached the dining rooms that Arata had assigned for their use.
Instead of taking offense at Midori's proclamation, Izumo and Kotetsu laughed as the group split into two with the six pranksters slipping into room eighteen so they could lay down the rules of the proposed prank war. Kakashi and Yamato, on the other hand, headed into the other room so they could deny having any knowledge of the chaos that was about to be released upon Konoha. The six of them had barely taken their seats before a warning knock sounded on the door to herald the entrance of a pretty teen with long, auburn hair wearing the Wheelhouse's uniform.
"Good afternoon, Namikaze-sama and guests; my name is Sumiko and I will be your waitress today," the teen greeted the moment everyone turned their attention to her. The waitress then promptly handed them each a menu and pulled out a notepad and pencil before asking, "Would you like to order your drinks and an appetizer while you decide on your orders?"
"Yes, we'd like a large pot of green tea, a large pitcher of lemonade, a pitcher of ice water, and for an appetizer, we'll have the large sampler platter," Takeshi ordered without bothering to crack the menu open.
"We'd like a large order of popcorn shrimp and two orders of mozzarella sticks to split," Naruto added after a brief conference with his teammates.
"What comes on the sampler platter, Takeshi?" Izumo asked curiously instead of glancing at the menu.
"A sample of several appetizers that the Wheelhouse offers and the size of the order will determine how many servings are provided; the small platter is one serving of each, medium has three, large has six, extra-large has nine, and the Akimichi special has twenty servings of each appetizer."
"Nice; how many different appetizers are there?" Kotetsu wondered as he flipped through his menu.
"Over a hundred but some of them are only served on holidays or only available seasonally," Sumiko explained with a smile. "There are also several dishes that are considered special order only since they are rather expensive to make due to the difficulty we have acquiring the ingredients needed to make them. On average, the sample platters will have around fifteen different dishes with an option to double the number for double the price. The list of appetizers included in the sampler platter changes on the first of each month."
"That's a lot of food."
"Not really, the individual serving sizes are fairly small on their own," Takeshi countered with a shake of his head. "The point of the platters is to allow customers to sample a wider range of the dishes we offer since more than two thirds of the dishes we offer are relatively unheard of in Konoha. The serving sizes for individual orders of a single dish are twice the size of those offered on the sampler platters."
"Will that be all?" Sumiko inquired when it became apparent that there were no more questions.
"Yeah, we're good," Izumo stated with a nod.
"I will return with your drinks in short order," Sumiko announced as she bowed to the group before retreating from the room.
"So, what would you recommend for lunch, Takeshi?"
"That depends; do you want to try something new or do you want to stick with something more familiar? Can you handle something spicy or do you have a delicate stomach? And lastly, are you allergic to anything?"
"Let's go with something new; no sense in having the same-old thing and since this is our first time dining in the Namikaze Wheelhouse, we might as well have ourselves a memorable meal," Kotetsu insisted with a grin.
"We're good with anything; I have no allergies and Kotetsu has a cast iron stomach," Izumo added as he leaned over to the read the menu over Kotetsu's shoulder instead of bothering to use his own menu.
"Any preferences for type of meat?"
"Pork," Izumo replied at the same time as Kotetsu answered, "Chicken or seafood."
"Alright, for Kotetsu, I'd recommend the Cajun Tour; it comes with chicken gumbo, crawfish étouffée, Cajun baked catfish, and bananas foster for desert. And for Izumo, I'd recommend the Confederate Grill Tour (you get a choice of pork or beef); it comes with a garden salad, baked potato, a half and half order of barbequed ribs and shish kabobs, and glazed lemon cake for desert."
Their drinks and appetizers arrived just a few minutes later and everyone placed their orders with Sumiko; Izumo and Kotetsu ordered the dishes that Takeshi recommended, Takeshi ordered the Emerald Isle Tour (which came with Irish pub salad, slow cooked corned beef, cabbage, and red potatoes, freshly baked Irish soda bread, and Irish apple cake for dessert), and the three Genin chose to split a family size Eiffel Tower Tour (French onion soup, Lyonnaise potatoes, ratatouille, chicken cordon bleu, and chocolate mousse with Madeleine cookies for dessert).
As they nibbled on the large assortment of finger foods and teaser samples, the six pranksters regaled each other with stories about their most memorable pranks to date. That, of course, devolved into a bragging contest as they each tried to prove that they'd pulled off the most impressive prank. Takeshi managed to win that particular contest hands down; if only because he had successfully pranked two of the Densetsu no Sannin.
Naruto and his teammates were a close second due to the sheer number of times that they'd pranked Mitarashi Anko since their team had been formed (and Naruto had been pranking her for even longer than that) to Izumo and Kotetsu's everlasting shame.
By the time their lunch arrived, the two teams were drawing up the rules of engagement for their prank war and they'd gained an audience of two in the form of Satoshi and Aika when Eri dropped them off to spend time with Takeshi while she ordered the next load of supplies for the restaurant. At the end of their meal and right after the official start of their prank war, Takeshi managed to land the first blow on the three Genin when he left Team Kakashi with diaper duty for Aika.
Naruto was at least thankful that their team hadn't been stuck paying the bill for lunch as well since family was never charged for the meals they took in the restaurant and that courtesy was extended to their teammates. That was one of the reasons why Team Kakashi ate lunch at the Wheelhouse at least twice a week; the rest of the time they splurged on ramen from Ichiraku's, ate up in the Namikaze Apartments, packed a bento, or were treated to Korean barbecue at Yakiniku Q's by Kakashi.
The prank war between the two teams would last an entire week and like the smaller scale prank war to celebrate Housei and Midori officially becoming wards of the Namikaze Clan, there were many casualties.
No innocent was spared.
Poor little Aika's pretty little pink blanket and favorite teddy bear would never be the same.
Translations: Japanese to English
Densetsu no Sannin – Legendary Three Ninja
Mizuame Nabara – Starch Syrup Capture Field (Kamizuki Izumo)
Ne – used to solicit agreement or confirmation from the listener similar to using 'isn't it?' or 'right?' in English
Yatta! – he/she/I did it!
Notes:
Étouffée – is a thick, spicy mixture of crawfish, shrimp, crab, or some combination of the three with onions and peppers cooked in light gravy and served with rice
Ratatouille – is a vegetable side dish containing eggplant, tomato, zucchini, peppers, onions, and various herbs
10-25-15: Minor edits made to chapter to fix spelling/grammar mistakes and removed unnecessary author's notes.