Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last chapter. I know I gave you guys another cliffhanger. I hate that my characters are on different planets and probably in very different time zones right now and I have to keep switching back between everyone. It always makes balancing all the major plot lines very difficult. Don't worry in a few chapters they will all be on the same planet, which will make things a little easier.

Special Note: In response to Lawlady562 and everyone else with similar worries, Christopher Pike willmake it to the end of this story alive. I have done way too much creative writing to keep Chris and Amanda alive to kill either one off by anything other than old-age. Basically, Carol died so Chris may live. However, all other characters are fair game, except for David. The poor baby has technically been raised from the dead once in the story and even though genetically he's a different person, I just have to make up for certain injustices in the other timeline.

Inspired by: In a World Like This

(Basically, I am now using whichever song I start humming while writing these chapters.)

Lyric Excerpt:

You got me wide open, wide open now I'm yours

You found me heartbroken, heartbroken on the floor...

Became my salvation, salvation through the war

Chapter 9: I Got You

Jim has a lot of time to think during the long walk to the research facility. They still can't beam directly into the place where his stepson's mother was murdered. Unfortunately, he has a lot of things to think about from what Jackson's role was in this entire fiasco to the fact that he and Spock are now completely responsible for a very scared two-year-old (who may or may not be a pawn in this entire mess). He hopes it no longer looks like a crime scene, because he's not sure he can handle that, not after the news he just heard.

Sam is dead. He's been dead for years and was buried under the place where Jim got his first hand job from Marc somebody and he was none the wiser. If Jim hadn't agreed to sell the property to Starfleet to build the new campus, he would have never found his brother. He is still deciding if it's better to know the truth or still be able to hold onto the unrealistic hope that maybe someday Sam would come back to him. He's still too much in shock to decide one way or another.

He knows it was Frank or maybe one of his 'friends'. Unlike everyone else in their little town, Jim never believed Frank's excuses. The guy was a sadistic bastard who pretty much owned Riverside because nobody would look beyond his clean-cut family Guy façade. His family was wealthy and the guy always made the right donations to the right charities. They made a small fortune on natural gas during the early 21st century and managed to invest their money wisely. Of course, Jim is convinced most of those "investments" during the last 20 years involved the reason why Gaila qualifies for refugee status under the Federation convention. Jim thinks the only reason why Frank lived at the old farmhouse after he married Jim's mom was nobody would think a major criminal worked out of an old family dairy farm. It was the perfect cover for the man.

It wasn't like he was really mad at Nyota for not telling him, it was more like he was mad at himself for holding onto the illogical hope that maybe Sam was still out there somewhere. Now, he really was alone in the world except for Spock and now their son. In an effort to not be anything like the sick dick who took his mother and brother away from him, he refused to only think of David as something that he had to put up with just to be with Spock. David was his. It was something that he felt in the deepest part of his heart. He was currently fighting his urge to call Doctor Margarita, who agreed to babysit/try another art counseling session while he and Spock attend to their day job, to see how David was doing.

Maybe he is a little worried that someone on his crew was afraid to deliver bad news to him. That can be extremely problematic in their business, where it feels like the Klingons or some other hostile force is attacking them at least once a week. It's especially bad that it was Nyota. She was the woman who went toe to toe with Spock when Spock was in the middle of his emotional crackup. They were supposed to be friends and you don't keep this sort of thing from your friends. Maybe that was an erroneous assumption on his part.

"I believe her hesitancy regarding telling you about the discovery of your brother's body has nothing to do with her fear of you, but rather her reluctance to cause you emotional harm. Despite your misgivings, you are one of her trusted friends and the thought of causing you emotional distress is repugnant to her. Most likely, she was waiting to find the most opportune occasion to inform you of the distressing news," Spock tells him in the most matter-of-fact way possible. This instantly causes Jim to roll his eyes and maybe laugh a little, because it's such a Spock thing to do to listen in on his thoughts.

"I have a hard time believing the best friend thing. Maybe I'm not really mad at her anyway; I'm just irritated with myself for not realizing that my mother married a murdering bastard and that my brother's body has been decaying under the family farm for years."

Spock's response is to squeeze his hand in support. Okay, it's like three finger strokes from a Vulcan hand job, but whatever. They were married, and the rest of the crew are taking a different path to the facilities because Jim wanted to see if he could find any evidence of how the killers could've got away. If they want to have Vulcan hand sex in the middle of an alien forest as they look for clues to the identity of the bastard who killed David's mom, or rather, mothers, they can. He needs this right now, and obviously Spock wasn't objecting to the contact, probably because he needs it too.

"How could I be so oblivious to the fact that my missing brother was buried under my barn?" he told his husband on the verge of tears (or as close as he would allow himself). Of course Spock tries to make him feel better, which sort of leads to something that is closer to a Vulcan make out session than what they normally allow themselves during working hours. (Okay, it is really just one finger stroke away from that Vulcan hand job he mentioned earlier.)

"You have repeated that particular line of thinking several times during the last 15 minutes," Spock says as they start walking again, with hands still entwined.

"Seriously do you have to listen to my thoughts all the time?" Jim asks his husband, flippantly giving him his 'why am I still married to you' look.

"It is difficult to not listen to your thoughts when you are projecting so loudly."

Jim's response is to let go of his husband's hand.

"As stated earlier, Nyota sees you as a very close friend and companion. She cares about you and does not want to cause you emotional harm. The current situation with David is already causing you great stress." Jim can sense Spock's guilt about that through their bond. "And I know she does not want to bother you further. The only person on the ship who Nyota is closer to is either I or Doctor McCoy."

"That's because we have bonded over our mutually crappy childhoods." He doesn't say that they both have bonded over the tragic deaths of their mother because that's just something that's not talked about. "Of course, her precious Leonard is always going to know everything because she's kind of in love with him but too scared to acknowledge it. Trust me, I would love for the two to be making out or at least holding hands on the way to check out the frozen bodies uncovered by our favorite hacker but between me taking you away from her and the prick that screwed her over, that's never going to happen. Let us not forget her daddy issues either. All of it has kind of made her a little relationship-o-phobic. Okay, she is absolutely terrified of relationships and avoids anything harder than an anonymous fuck on shore leave," Jim says sadly.

He adores Nyota, when she isn't doing stupid stuff like keeping secrets from him that leads to him finding out that his brother died from a total stranger who just let it slip out absently. That's not how you want to find out that someone you love died. The only way that could've been worse was a mass email that he stumbled upon or maybe finding out from a new stream. Thankfully, they are currently in the middle of nowhere and the only news they are getting comes from official Starfleet sources and that is still sporadic. However, years later, Jim still kind of feels bad for stealing her crush.

"She did not take me from you because I was never hers in a romantic capacity."

Jim wants to say something about how things did not work out between the two because Spock was way too jaded due to the Carol fiasco (not to mention the Cupcake fallout and the fact that the object of his inappropriate Captain crush is probably in love with his mother right now), but Jim isn't sure he wants to talk about anything Carol related. That particular conversation is going to require chocolate laced alcohol, sanity-in-a-hypo, a licensed psychologist, and probably a babysitter if they resort to Jim's favorite coping strategy of 'sex therapy'.

However, because of the mission, they can't afford avoidance for that long. They need to know the truth about David's existence, but Spock's father is dead, Carol is dead and a habitual liar, and Andrew Marcus is at best an ousted trigger-happy former admiral and at worst the guy that tried to kill him (or more likely Spock) as part of some great scheme to "antagonize" the Klingons. (This really did not make the guy that different from Jackson or most of the other admirals that got kicked out during the purging.) Jim really really hopes Mr. Marcus never wanted to see his grandchild because Jim is so not looking forward to those family dinners. Essentially, they are never going to know the truth.

"According to the files forwarded to me by Ms. Chapel, David was technically conceived the traditional way, if you do not count the fact that Admiral Jackson was secretly dosing us with fertility drugs in an effort for him to design his own 'super soldier' of sorts without resorting to the type of genetic engineering that is technically illegal."

At that moment, Jim trips over a rock (he does not fall down in shock). Again, Jim is thankful that they are alone. Spock quickly helps him up from the ground. He may have snuck in a little Vulcan make out session (more like really heavy Vulcan petting) but he kind of needs Spock touching right now. He just needs Spock. When the world is an absolute fucking mess, like it is right now, he just needs Spock.

"Okay, that sounds like something Jackson would do," Jim says as he dusts himself off one-handed because he really does not feel like letting go again. (Hey, they are alone, he can be as needy as he needs to be with the almost hand sex.)

"In an encrypted letter to me, Carol stated that she discovered a file detailing Jackson's plan including the fact that David was originally a twin." Jim just rolls his eyes at the fact that Jackson is acting like such a stereotypical cinematic villain. Really, you would think by now that the evil guy would know not to put his or her plans in writing. The guy makes Jim look like a really humble person. "However, she did not include this file but merely suggested the possibility that she left other important information in David's stuffed bear named after me." Jim has the urge to groan and shake his head. Seriously, did his other self only think with his dick? Carol is dead and Jim still finds her annoying.

"Now, I got to read this," Jim says, removing Spock's PADD from his pocket. (Maybe Jim includes a little unnecessary "touching," but it's been days since the last time they had sex.)

He quickly scans the letter as they keep walking (and touching a little more than what they would normally do during working hours). He finds a scenario where someone like Jackson manipulated things so that Spock would get Carol pregnant more viable than the alternative. Of course, Jim doesn't believe that Carol was completely innocent. He's not sure that he believes the sincerity of her apology either. However, there's no point in being this bitter, not when he needs to put David first. And if the cute little boy with his husband's ears really is the result of Jackson's megalomania (which is possible), then their main priority is keeping David safe. Figuring out what the hell is going on will have to come second, including finding out if Jackson has David's biological little brother on ice somewhere.

The message at the end bothers him. Jim just knows Carol was referring to other Spock. He likes other Spock except when the man is being extremely cryptic or extremely hypocritical. Whatever Gaila found in the basement is obviously something that other Spock has come across before which basically means he's not going to say anything.

"I think, depending on what we find, we are going to have to play along with Jackson's little diplomatic ferrying thing because we're going to need to talk to other you about this nightmare, and this is one deep space conversation I don't want intercepted by Jackson," he tells his husband stoically.

"He is also the only entirely trustworthy source that can tell us exactly how David was created," Spock says in a very matter-of-fact way that pretty much tells Jim that he is angry as hell at his other self. That happens a lot.

"What are you talking about?" Jim asks, slightly confused.

Spock's response is to quickly grab his PADD from Jim and pull up a file that looks like a diary entry before handing it back to him. Jim quickly looks over the file that Spock pulled up. This leads to him tripping again. From a quick scan, Jim learns two things; first, other Spock really has a mind meld kink. Second, other Spock already knew about the existence of his 'nephew' and did not say a fucking thing.

"The geriatric asshole knew! Is it wrong that I want to knock your other self unconscious?" Jim asks with rage in his voice. He is livid. Actually, he is feeling "the only thing that's going to get me to calm down is getting fucked against the wall" anger. That is never a good thing, especially when they cannot have sex.

"I am experiencing similar emotions," Spock says, and Jim can pick up the same type of rage from his husband. He is also picking up on the same type of lust.

"See, this is why I love you," Jim says, deciding to completely forget their normal rules of behavior and start kissing Spock in a "will be receiving a human hand job up against a tree in two minutes" sort of way. Okay, so he and Spock may be engaging in that type of behavior, or they would be if they didn't come across the device that was most likely used to get the assailants on and off the planet without a ship. The whole thing involves falling into some brush because he loses his balance due to his pants already being around his ankles. Fortunately, he has enough time to get "presentable" again before anybody else shows up to investigate.

Chris isn't that surprised that Amanda shows up on his doorstep 30 minutes before he is to meet Winona and the toddler for breakfast with the kids. Amanda knows something was up last night before they even get to the car. She does not say anything because of the four-year-old in the vehicle; she just gives him the look. It is weird how the two can practically communicate without words. He never really had that before, not even with his number one.

After a dinner where the girls and Amanda insist he stay because she hates the idea of him eating another replicated dinner alone, Amanda begins her interrogation. If section 31 did exist (and thanks to Jackson's paranoia regarding Jim finding out anything at all, Chris is almost positive it does), Amanda should be their lead interrogator. He is glad the kids are busy doing homework so they don't hear Amanda cursing, screaming, and crying (sometimes simultaneously). She is just as pissed at Winona for her disappearing act as he is because it hurt Jim so profoundly. She probably knows more than anyone how much Jim craves a mother figure in his life. Despite Amanda's wishes, Jim does not call her 'mom' because it hurts him too much to say that word.

However, despite her anger, she is also more sympathetic or perhaps empathetic than he is. In addition to her duties with the Council, Amanda is still an advocate for the victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and sexual slavery. She is probably more familiar with the type of situation that Winona went through then he ever was.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm mad at her, but she did what she had to do to protect her child. I'm not saying that she made the best choice, because I think there were better options that would have done less damage. I mean, Jim cannot even talk about his mom without almost crying. For years he's been blaming himself for not protecting her from Frank," Amanda starts, almost on the brink of another rant.

"I thought you were trying to defend her. Yes, she protected Georgia, but she abandoned Jim," Chris explains with annoyance as he grabs her hand. Sometimes physical touch is the only way to get Amanda to calm down.

"I'm not defending her, I'm just explaining the situation. Chris, I've seen her file and I've talked to Jim. It was bad. It's a miracle that he didn't actually kill her." At that moment, a teary-eyed Amanda passes him a PADD containing graphic images of a battered, bruised, and bloodied Winona. He's not sure how Amanda got her hands on this information, but the woman is related by blood or marriage to two of the three top hackers in Starfleet, and the third sees Amanda as her personal savior. Really, it wouldn't be that hard for her to get any file that she wanted.

It is impossible for him not to cry at what he sees. He is quickly enveloped by the scent of Amanda's perfume and her soothing touch as she wraps her arms around him.

"I get that it was bad," Chris whispers into her shoulder. "But that did not give her a right to abandon one child to save the other. How can you love one child more than the other?"

"You don't and I don't think she does. It's obvious she ended up in San Francisco for a reason. She was always asking me and T'Pay about Jim. She didn't abandon Jim, she just had to prioritize," Amanda tells him as she pulled away and Chris snorts. "Think of it this way, if the house was on fire and both Spock and T'Pay were inside, who would I help?" Amanda asks, but it seems like such a stupid question. The answer is obvious.

"You would help T'Pay, because Spock is an adult and he can take care of himself." As he says the words, he gets it. Jim was an adult and Georgia wasn't even born at the time. She had to protect Georgia and hope that Jim could protect himself. It had nothing to do with which child she cared about the most, but rather making a choice that would allow for the greatest chance of survival for the greatest amount of people.

"Exactly."

"You spend way too much time around Vulcans" he jokes as she gives him the most beautiful smile in the world.

So, no. It does not surprise him that she shows up at his door even though he never asked her to come with him. Amanda knows what he needs without him even asking. In this instance, he needs her because he isn't sure he can face Winona or rather Whitney alone, especially if she decides not to show up.

Much to his surprise, Winona/Whitney does show up with Georgia and her pediatric psychologist wife, who doesn't even look old enough to have gone to med school, let alone be practicing. The first part of the breakfast goes fine except when Winona starts crying when Amanda gives her a copy of Jim and Spock's wedding pictures. Of course, Amanda's empathy for Winona only takes her so far and it is obvious to Chris that she takes the gloves off as soon as the children are in the playroom being watched by T'Pen.

"Why did you leave?" Her words are clear and Vulcan direct.

"You're definitely one for the direct approach, Dr. Grayson. I think I see what Chris likes about you," Winona says with a smirk. Of course, the fact that she grabs her barely legal wife's hand displays her true nervousness. It's something that Jim does. Whenever he is nervous, he puts on his best cocky smirk, but secretly grabs Spock's hand under the table for reassurance.

"Chris is just a friend," Amanda replies, but there is a hint of pink to her cheeks that he never noticed before. "Also, call me Amanda, since my son is married to your son. Because of that, I think I have a right to know why you thought it was in everybody's best interest including Jim's, to assume that you were dead," Amanda says directly.

"I didn't have a choice. He already killed Sam. He told me he would do the same to Jim and Georgia. If he thought I was dead, he would not go after Jim. He was safer that way."

Chris's response is to scoff, and Amanda starts acting like the Vulcan councilmember that she is.

"But why didn't you let Jim know the truth? Do you have any idea what a mess Jim was after your death? If I didn't find him in that bar that night you may have two dead sons," Chris practically yells at her, but Amanda places her hands on him to keep him calm.

"If you didn't find my son in that bar that night, none of us would probably be alive right now. I told you to watch over him and you did. Because of you, he is a happily married, highly productive member of Starfleet." 'Whitney's' flattery does little to dissolve his anger.

"Because of him, I have more gray hairs then I should at this age. Yes, he and his husband are the most productive team in Starfleet, but he almost lost his ship once because of their attachment," he screams in annoyance without giving her the details that he feels she does not deserve.

About a month after Admiral Marcus was 'asked' to 'retire' for doing something so bad that the details are too classified for even Chris to know, Jim got in trouble for violating the Prime Directive. Basically, somebody (probably Jackson) believed it was a good idea to send a ship with a first officer who had a complete psychotic break involving conversations with personifications of his human side after the destruction of his planet to watch another planet die due to a volcano erupting. Spock did something to try to keep the planet's population from dying, things went badly, and, to save Spock, Jim violated the Prime Directive.

Spock and Jim reported the entire incident (at the strong suggestion of the ship psychologist), and Jackson tried to convene a secret tribunal to send Jim back to the Academy and have Spock reassigned to his special pet project that he took over from Marcus. Fortunately, with Marcus now gone, Admiral Lume was then the highest ranking member of the admiralty, and she informed Chris and Elder T'Pau of what he was planning to do. By the end of the entire incident, the Vulcan elder convinced the two sane members of the tribunal that it was perfectly logical to violate the Prime Directive if it saved an entire civilization, conveniently causing everybody to forget that the violation actually occurred because Jim refused to let Spock die. (Considering what was most likely going on with Jackson's pet project, Chris can't help but wonder if Jonathan was trying to use the incident to manipulate Jim and Spock for his own purposes. Anybody could tell it was a bad idea to send Enterprise on that type of mission.)

Jackson was furious for months after that and almost punched Chris out when Chris showed up to his surprise wedding/renewing of vows (that he had no choice but to attend) with Amanda two weeks after his evil scheme fell apart. The marriage was a surprise in the sense that nobody believed any woman would ever agree to marry Jackson, let alone the lovely yet mysterious Dr. Jane Harrison, especially a month after her brother became the one fatality during the 'London incident' i.e. the thing that led to Marcus's "retirement" if rumors were to be believed. Chris doesn't even know how Marcus' new favorite died because everything that happened in London fell under the category of too classified for Chris to know without a need to know. He just knew it was related to the current mess.

"He almost lost his ship because he's terrified of losing the one piece of family that he has left and would do anything, including violating the Prime Directive, to save Spock. Maybe if he knew you were alive he wouldn't be so reckless." Amanda actually starts to snort in response to Chris' words, along with Winona's child bride.

"Love makes people do crazy things, from violating ridiculous regulations to faking your own death to keep both of your children safe. You don't know what Whitney went through with the ass," Kayah reprimands.

"I've seen her after he turned a woman who is an excellent shot into his own personal punching bag. You did not beg her to leave only to have her refuse. You're still a kid. I was there, you weren't; don't judge me," Chris says dismissively.

"I'm almost 40. I just look like I'm 25. I come from a long line of people who look like they are in they are 20s well into their 40s. In my line of work, I've seen everything," Kayah says with annoyance. "Don't tell me what I don't know because I know more than you think I do. I've kissed every single scar that the prick left behind, including the initials that he carved on her inner thigh. I'm the one who comforts her when she wakes up screaming, clutching her stomach from a Frank-induced nightmare. I'm the one who puts her to bed after she goes through half our liquor collection on Jim or Sam's birthday." The hot tears are pricking her eyes at that moment. "Don't tell me I don't know what he did, because I know better than you. Don't blame her for making the only choice she could when nobody else was around." Her words make him angry and guilty at the same time, a remarkable feat for someone who really does not know him.

"Kayah, not right now," 'Whitney' reprimands her wife.

"Oh, I will say this right now. Neither one of you has any right to judge her. Maybe if you were a better friend, Chris, she wouldn't have had to fake her own demise to get away from Mister Sociopath crime boss."

"I wasn't there because dear Whitney wouldn't let me be there. I tried to convince you to leave but you were- just too afraid to make a damn move," he argues, looking directly at 'Whitney'.

"I did what I had to do and I'm not going to apologize for not waiting for you to show up to rescue me once I realize that my ex was a key player in some interplanetary crime syndicate and was using the fact that he was the house husband of a war widow as his cover. You have no right to lecture me about letting fear control you since you missed out on your first love because you were too afraid to break the fucking rules. May I suggest you not make the same mistake this time?" Winona says, looking from Amanda to him. Her glare is accusing. He doesn't love Amanda, he can't. She is just a friend (and maybe if he keeps repeating that he might just believe it himself.)

"I don't have time for this right now. I have Jackson emailing me every five minutes because your son came across his 'special project'. Because of what he stumbled across, Enterprise's current mission has been officially cut short and he will be returning to Earth in less than a week with a ship filled with diplomats. Maybe by that time, we can all be in a room together without screaming at each other. If you are not planning on skipping town, I think that's when we should tell Jim." His tone is annoyed and bitter. He also doesn't wait for her response; instead, he finds himself out in the play room.

T'Pay seems to come alive with little Georgia. It seems only appropriate that Jim and Spock's little sisters found each other without any knowledge of their brothers' universe defying relationship. For a moment, he wonders if Georgia knows that she has a big brother somewhere in the universe. He also wonders how Jim would feel about having a half-sister that was only a couple years older than his brand-new stepson. He wonders if the real reason he's not going to tell Jim this news until he gets back to earth is he's afraid of his reaction.

Amongst the 99 messages that he receives, several are from an angry Jim asking if he knows anything about Jackson's wife without an explanation as to why he needs this information. The only things he can give him were her maiden name and a few things that he knew about her deceased brother, John. The rest of the message basically tells him in very vague terms that stolen technology was used to effect the escape of whoever killed everyone on the planet, and Jackson was probably as dirty as the little child off to his left that is currently covered in blueberry pancake syrup and whipped topping. There are also several lines about Jim not taking the death of his brother very well, mostly because the communications officer that intercepted Jim's call yesterday had a very big mouth. After this disastrous breakfast, Chris just knows that he will be spending this Saturday in his office involved in a very long deep space conversation with Jim and Spock.

Chris is brought out of his less than pleasant thoughts as Amanda sits down next to him. She doesn't try to discuss what happened. Instead, she just wordlessly grabs his hand. His mind instantly calms. There was only one other woman who could bring him peace with just a simple touch. But she is gone now and Amanda is just- everything. She is everything. She came with him to this thing without asking and didn't push him to talk about everything. She silently gave him support when he needed it the most. Actually, she gave her support even when he pushed her away, like during those first few months when he was getting used to being in a wheelchair. She is beautiful when she is determined. She is beautiful.

At that moment, Chris looks up to see Winona/Whitney smirking at him from across the playground. Her fingers are firmly entwined with those of her wife in a gesture that mimics him and Amanda. It is at that moment that he realizes Winona is right. He is in love with Amanda, and she can never just be his friend.

Shit!

To be continued

I was planning to include Bones and Nyota in this chapter but there are a couple of things I want to include in that section that are going to require me to watch STID again because I am a complete perfectionist. Thankfully it comes out on digital download in the states Tuesday (8/20). That means I will be able to start writing the next chapter next weekend. I'm so happy they're releasing it on digital download three weeks early (even if this probably means I'm going to end up buying the Blu-Ray version a month later just for the commentary, which was probably the idea). The good news is this means that I'm going to start working on the sequel to Take a Third Option earlier than planned (the title is now Maybe We Should Have Went Out for Pizza First). This also means more updates for my Ugly Betty story Alex Suarez this month.