Yes,I'm finally back my dear readers! I know it's been too long and you can't even imagine how sorry I am but I hope you can forgive me!
First of all,I want to say that from now on the story doesn't have a beta so whatever mistakes you may find throughout the rest of the story are totally mine so be understanding (English is not my native language). Although if some of you are interested in editing I don't have a problem with that! :)
Seconly,I'm going to post every day of this week (except for Tuesday) so by the end of the week this story will be finally finished! I know it's been a very long ride,but we are really close!
And last but not least,since I've been M.I.A for almost three months I'll make it up to you by posting two chapters!
Enjoy the chapter!
''So how it's going with you and Emma?'' Kathryn asked as she sipped from her cup. They were both at the clinic having a small break,as neither of them had any patients so they took advantage of it by talking about the recent development on Regina's relationship with Emma.
''It's...going. Ι mean we are still visiting .'' Regina replied honestly yet vaguely.
''How is that going?''
''Well,we have managed to fight less in each session,but there are still fights that sometsime have nothing to do with the reason why we went to him in the first place'' Regina sighed,placing her cup on top of the desk,pinching the bridge of her nose,to release some tension. These past few days had been tough for her and a few sleepless nights didn't help that much.
''What do you mean?''
''In last week's session we fought about that one Christmas,four years ago,when I was pregnant with Ezra, that I wanted to stay home and Emma wanted a vacation. She made a big deal out of it then and she made a bid deal about it now. I'm telling you sometimes I think that it'd be better if we dropped this and try alone.'' Regina admitted.
''Would it be better though?I mean,now,when you start a fight you have Dr. Hopper stopping you and steering the conversation somewhere else. I don't think that either you or Emma would be capable of stopping a fight.'' Kathryn said and quickly added ''I'm just saying'' when she noticed the brunette's death glare.
''You are right '' Regina sighed eventually agreeing with the blonde. ''There are still so many scars that I didn't know they existed. Every time we go in there I think that it'll be better than last time,but every time turns out to be worse. It's like a war really. Each of us winning a battle but neither winning the war. I'm hurting,she's hurting but I can't do anything about that.'' Regina sighed again. Giving up was such an enticing idea,but she'd never been a quitter and she wasn't going to become one now.
''I see. How they kids are taking the whole "leaving seperatly" thing?'' Kathryn aksed again.
''Ezra and Colin seems kinda still oblivious. They know that Emma doesn't live with us and sometimes they throw a tantrum when they miss her but apart from that they are fine. Regarding Henry well,things are much more complicated. He barely talks to me and he has stopped going with Emma when she takes the boys for the weekend. He sometimes stay to my parents or Emma's parents. He avoids both of us. He also addresses her as Emma and that hurts her, obviously. He doesn't acknowlege her as his mother anymore.'' Regina said in a saddened tone. Truth to be told, she didn't like Emma hurting so much,especially when it comes to her sons. She wouldn't have liked to have been given the same silent treatment from her sons so for Emma, who had a special bond with Henry, this must have been ten times worse and Regina sympathized with her.
''Have you talked to him about that?''
''All the time,but as I said,he doesn't talk to me much. He thinks I'm weak for taking her back and sometimes I find myself agreeing with him but I don't dwell much on that.''
''You haven't technically'' Kathryn interjected
''I know but that's what he thinks. I'm not ready to take Emma back. I do the whole session thing for them but he doesn't seem to get that. For him everything is black and white really. He doesn't seem to see the whole grey area which is him and his brothers. I know he's hurting. Emma has always been some kind of an idol to him,to all of them,so him finding out about her cheating on me must have been really hard and it changed what he thinks of her but what Ezra and Colin can see right now is Emma's absence. And I do try to change that.'' Regina said with a cracked voice.
''Give him some time,he'll come around. Anyway,to some more cheerful news,it's Belle's and Ruby's wedding next month,isn't it?'' Kathryn asked,thankfully changing the topic.
''Yes!'' Regina exclaimed happily,the tension from earlier leaving entirely her body. ''I can't believe they're getting married!I'm so happy for them. I mean I've known them for so long and I still can't believe that the time has come. I'm beyond excited!''
''I bet you are darling!Are you planning on going with Emma?''
''No'' Regina said blantly ''Her parents and mine are going to be there. I don't want them to think much of it and believe we're trying again so no. I may or may not have asked Mal to escort me though.'' Regina whispered,her cheeks turning pink,as she tried to hide her face behind some paperwork.
''Regina!'' Kathryn exclaimed,slapping lightly Regina's thigh,earning a laugh from both of them.
''What?It's not a date Kat,I'm still married but well I'm not going alone to a wedding where most of the guests will be Emma's friends. Besides they boys after a certain time will be tired and I will need help. And well she's a...friend'' Regina mumbled.
''I see'' Kathryn grinned at her,making Regina throw a flower at her, which she picked from the vase on Kathryn's desk. Their little banter,however,was interrupted by Jefferson.
''Kat,love,we have a new patient and he's asking about you. In which room should I put him in?''
''In examination room 2 and tell him I'll be there in a few minutes.'' Kathryn ordered Jeff who simply nodded before exiting the office.
''Duty calls.'' Kathryn said,rolling her eyes. ''When I come back I'll tell you everything about my and Fred's trip to my in-laws' house.'' Kathryn laughed,as she exited the room,leaving a chuckling Regina behind.
Three days had passed during them,the couple had another session with Dr. Hopper,one that went surprisinlgy well. They had managed not to fight at all and have a civilized conversation and they shared more happy memories they had made throughout the years. Dr. Hopper had asked both of them to tell one of the fondest memories they had of their relationship. Regina had opted to share a memory of her 26th birthday,when Emma had surprised her with Ηenry's adoption papers,with which Regina legally adopted Henry making her also his mother by law. Emma following Regina's example,regarding birthday gifts,had chosen to share the day that Regina had told her that she was pregnant with Colin. Regina,due to a problem with her uterus,had been informed by doctors that carrying a child would be difficult even impossible. The first three IVF treatments had been unsuccessfull something that deeply hurt Regina,who after each attempt would have cried and persuade herself that maybe she'd never have a child of her own. Emma had supported her,through each treatment but she couldn't bear watching her wife suffer so much. She had offered as an alternative,to adopt a child,as herlsef didn't want to carry another one and that would also be cruel to Regina. However,at their forth attempt,one that Regina had said would be her last,she had managed to get pregnant,something that her doctor also confirmed on their monthly appointment. She chose not to share the big news with Emma right away. Instead,she had opted to drop the news one week later,at Emma's birhday,presenting the baby as Emma's birthday gift. Emma's face had gone from confusion to realization and then excitement in a matter of minutes,hugging her wife tightly as they both cried tears of joy. Dr. Hopper had even felt some tears forming on his own eyes with that story but quickly shrug them off and changed the topic again. After their session with him,Emma had suggested they go for a drink but Regina had politely declined as it felt more like a date,something that she wasn't ready to explore with Emma right now.
That afternoon,Regina along with Ezra had gone to the park,wanting her son to be close to nature and not all day in front of the TV playing video games. The weather was warm enough for their little escapade and Regina couldn't resist her son's puppy eyes and and pleading looks. Along with some snacks,in case Ezra got hungry,and some of his toys,Regina was sitting on a bench reading a book,while Ezra was playing with his car toys,a few feet away from her. She would ocassionally raise her eyes from the book to look at Ezra and one she was sure that he was okay and not in any danger she would continue with her book.
As she raised her eyes once more she noticed Ezra staring at a runner who had brought his puppy with him for some company. She didn't dwell much on that as Ezra liked to observe animals and often pet them if Regina deemed they were clean enough,so she turned back to her book,her reading glasses,falling from her nose. As she was reading,she noticed in the corner of her eye that Ezra had approached her and now was standing right in front of her,still looking at the dog. She felt a little tug at her skirt,making her giving her attention to him,but he didn't look back at her. Confused as to what her son might want she tickled his belly,successfully earning his attention.
''What is is Bubbah?'' Regina uttered softly,removing her glasses and leaving them atop of the book she had abandoned,next to her.
''Puppy'' the word escaping from her son's lips made her eyes widen in surprise,her brain still not fully apprehending what had just happened.
''W-what?'' Regina stammered,her eyes trimmed with unshed tears,that they threatened to spill. She quickly kneeled next to him,putting her hands on his face.
''A puppy'' The boy exclaimed cheerfully,giving his mother the signature Swan grin.
''Oh Ezra!.'' Regina sniffed as she took the boy in her arms hugging him tightly,while crying and peppering his cheeks with kisses. The doctors had said that Ezra would talk on his own accord but she'd never thought it would happen like that and such an unsuspecting time. She lifted him up,sat on the bench,her son on her lap,as she looked up,so as not to scare the young boy with her tearfull reaction.
Letting him sit more comfortable at her lap,still craddling his face and playing with his unruly hair,she quickly pulled her cell phone from her coat pocket,searching her contacts for Emma's name. Calling the number,she waited a few minutes before Emma answered.
''Regina?'' Emma asked confused. It was true that Regina would rarely call her nowadys and only for stuff that concerned their sons.
''Emma'' Regina breathed her voice cracking a bit from the crying.
''Regina have you been crying?What happened?Are the boys okay?''
''Yes,yes they're Ezra-'' but before she could say something more,Emma's urgent voice stopped her.
''Ezra?What happened with him?Regina you're scaring me.''
''He's fine Emma!'' Regina said exasperatingly ''He talked.'' She finally confessed
''What?'' Emma asked not being sure that she heard right,not wanting to have false hopes.
''He talked Emma'' Regina chuckled as new tears spilled from her eyes ''We are at the park and he was looking at a dog. And then he approached me and said ''puppy''. I swear to you Emma that's the most wonderful word I have ever heard''.
''Oh my god Regina!'' Emma exclaimed her voice quivering a bit,making Regina think if she was crying too.
''Can I come over and see him?'' Emma asked hopefully,once she had calmed a question however caught Regina by surprise,making her hesitate.
''I..I don't think that's a good idea Emma.'' Regina admitted,bitting her lip.
''And why's that?'' Emma questioned,a bit hurt by her wife's negative response.
''Well,for one,the boys had gotten used to seeing you every Friday to Sunday and I don't want to confuse them more by changing the schedule.'' Regina said flatly.
''What are you talking about Regina?It's just for a few minutes I won't stay long.'' Emma defenfed with a slightly raised voice.
''I stand by what I said Emma. You can see him in a couple of days when you'll come to take them for the weekend.'' Regina reasoned not wanting to start a fight with Emma over the phone.
''Come on Regina my son had just talked and I missed it.'' Emma implored.
''OUR son had just talked and please don't make it more difficult. He's fine and he just literally one word. We can visit his therapist on Friday morning if you want to come,but I don't want to upset him more by seeing you tonight and then watching you leave.I'm sure you can understand this.''
''Fine'' Emma relented ''And yes I'll come with you on Friday. Can you give him your phone at least so I can talk to him for a bit?''
''Yes,of course. I'll call you tomorrow for the details. Goodbye Emma.'' Regina said as she passed the phone to her son.
Regina was watching her son as he was talking with Emma. He would reply with a simple yes or no but nothing more than that. Still this made her heart flutter and more tears to spill from her eyes. After a couple of minutes,the phone call ended and Ezra handed the phone back to his mother,wiggling himself out of Regina's lap so he can continue to play with his toys. She decided to give him some extra time of playing as she herself had to make some calls to her mother,Mary Margaret and Kathryn to inform them of this unexpecting yet welcoming surprise.
A month had passed since Emma had taken some time off her work and now it was time for her to go back. On one hand she really wanted to return to work since she had been bored to death. These past few days has been spent in the hotel room,and only her weekends were full due to the boys' visiting but apart from that nothing exciting had happened. On the other hand she really dreaded her return to work. Her relationship with her father and brother was still on bad terms as both of them,all this time that she was on vacation,refused to see her,or contact her in any way. Thankfully her mother had been more understanding and after a few days of the silent treatment she visited Emma at her hotel room,or called her to come over their house when David was off to work. Still she was a bit stiff towards her and ocassionally reprimand her of what she had done making Emma even more guilty.
So here she was,on the firm's parking lot,waiting for the elevator to arrive. She had opted for an early arrival so as to minimize the chance of bumping into both of the male Swans,not sure she could handle a conversation with them. Her prayers were heard and once she stepped her foot into the main lobby and then on the kitchen neither of them were there. Sighing in relief,she grabbed a mug,poured some coffee in it and two cubes of sugar. As she was standing inside the kithcen her mind wander off to Jane. She hadn't seen her in a month and she would probably never see her again. However standing in that kitchen evoke memories of both of them,in the very same room talking and teasing each other. A smile escaped from her lips but was instantly replaced by a scowl when she noticed who just entered the room.
''Look who's back'' Killian exclaimed upon seeing Emma.
''Good morning to you too Jones. It's not nice seeing you again.'' Emma smiled a fake smile at him, earning a scowl in return.
''How was your time off?'' Killian asked casually as he was making himself a coffee. Emma was taken aback by Killian's question. They have never been friends and him starting a casual conversation with her made her suspicious. However she decided to play along,answering to his harmless question.
''It was relaxing and something I needed. You know spend some time with the boys.'' Emma shrugged stiffly,still not sure where this was going.
''You know'' Killian started. And there it was Emma thought. ''I didn't hear back from your wife since that day that she visited me. I mean she looked very adamant about divorcing you and then suddenly she never called again. You sure have your ways with women'' Killian smirked as he sipped from his mug.
''I can teach you if you want,since watching you have a hard time on finding one.'' Emma said,giving him a smug smile,aslo sipping from her mug,her eyes never leaving Killian's.
''Well I was hoping that once your wife is free from you,I could totally make a move on her. She's most definetly my type and seeing that she doesn't want me to kick your ass at court I could find another way to beat your ass.'' Killian said in a low voice,winking at Emma.
Emma's anger had start boiling but she didn't let it completely take over. ''Regina has a refined taste in both men and women and she would never go with a man like you. She's not even in your league pal.'' Emma patted him on his back.
''With what I'm planning on doing to her she would definetly change her mind'' He whispered,to Emma's ear making her lose whatever patience she might had,pushing him in the fridge behind him,her hands on his jacket lapels.
''Emma what the hell are you doing?'' Nate yelled as he pushed Emma away from Killian.
''He provoked me. He said that he wants to have sex with my wife.'' Emma said angrily,emphasizing the words 'my' and 'wife'.
''Let me handle this.'' Nate said reassuringly as he turned his back to face Killian.
''One more of that in that firm and I'll make sure Levine's case is the last big case you get.'' Nate warned Killian making him nod weakly before leaving the kitchen. He knew how to push people's,esepcially Emma's,buttons,but he was a coward when it came to job.
''Thanks'' Emma uttered,not making eye contact with her brother.
''Don't think much of it. I did it for Regina not you. She wouldn't have wanted you to act like that at your job.'' Nate admitted.
''I know,but thanks anyways.'' Emma said honestly,this time looking at Nate. Nate nodded and he was ready to leave when Emma spoke again.
''Nate.''
''What?'' He asked,standing at the doorframe.
''I'm sorry. For the whole Jane thing. I should have backed off when I learned you were into her. I acted like a dick and I'm sorry for that.'' Emma apologised.
''It's okay. It wasn't only you. She liked you back so whatever I would have tried to do,she would still see me as a friend. I'm not even mad at that anymore. But you hurting Regina. The only good thing that had happened to you, I don't know if I can forgive you for that Emma. I love Regina as my own sister and I don't care if you're my blood. I'm with Regina's side,whatever that means. '' Nate said sincerely before leaving the room
It had gone better than Emma had expected but it still hurt.