They slid into a booth and looked through their menus in silence. By now Reese had reached the point where he no longer cared greatly what he ate as long as it came quickly. Joss stuck with another salad, although for a change she ordered a milkshake to go with it. He went for a mountainous burger and a huge stack of fries. Lunch had been eaten on the run, many hours ago by now, and he figured he needed the carbs.
"I was wondering," Joss said eventually, "why you're not madder at me."
He swallowed heroically. "Why would I be mad?"
"I didn't tell you I was alive."
"You tried. Wasn't your fault I was underground by that time." He loaded up with more fries.
"It's just such a surprise. Everyone else I didn't tell is furious at me. Finch spent half the day trying to persuade me to get in touch with Fusco. I can't even think about that right now."
"Joss, you're going to have to think about it," he said as soon as his mouth was clear. The first onslaught on the burger had taken the edge off his hunger and so he paused before his next bite and studied her face. "The longer you leave him in the dark, the harder it will be for him to forgive you. And if you force me to cover for you then that draws me into it. Lionel and I have come a long way since we met." He didn't really want to admit this, but... "I would hate to lose his trust over this." More burger.
Joss's face was a study in agonized indecision. "But how do I even start with him? I can't just phone the man."
Another swallow. "No, but I could."
"What?" Joss's eyebrows leapt so high they were nearly lost in her hairline.
"I could phone him. Right now. Get it over with."
Joss looked at her plate, then looked up at him. "I bet you were one of those kids who ripped the band-aid right off, huh?"
"Yup. What were you, a slow-peeler?"
She ducked her head, smiling despite herself. He reached across and took her hand. "Joss, I have no idea what Fusco will say or how he will react. All I know is that there's no good purpose in delaying telling him any longer. Whatever happens, will happen." He took a deep breath. "Remember, you're not alone. Even it it all goes sideways and he locks you out, I'm still here for you."
There were tears in Joss's eyes as she looked up at him. "You have no idea... no idea what that means to me, John." She swallowed, and breathed deep. A spark of the old Detective Carter flashed across her face for a moment. "Okay. Call him. But hurry, before I change my mind."
Reese got his phone out and hit Fusco's number. It rang for a long time before he answered.
"Yeah, what?" Fusco's voice at the other end of the line sounded grumpy. Borderline bitchy, in fact.
"Hello, Lionel," purred Reese. "I need you to get over here to Manny's Diner in Brooklyn. There's someone here you want to meet."
"Listen Wonderboy, I just got settled in front of the TV, An Interesting Person's just starting, I got beer and pizza and I ain't shifting. And that's final."
"Lionel, I'm not kidding. You really do want to meet this person."
"No way, Riley. Just for once the answer is 'no', and it's gonna stay 'no'. There's nothing you can say that'll get me off of this couch before my show finishes. Nothing at all."
"Lionel, don't make me do something I'll regret." Reese rolled his eyes. Just his luck that Fusco was choosing this moment of all moments to turn mulish. Joss was starting to make gestures at him across the table, Stop! Stop! He shook his head at her.
"You got nothing on me right now, Wonderboy. Don't you pull any of that threatening crap on me, we've been through too much together. Just one evening with the TV, that's all I'm askin' for."
Reese took a deep, calming breath. Time to rip off the band-aid. "It's Carter, Fusco. She's alive and she's here with me at Manny's."
There was a thud from the other end of the line, then scrabbling sounds as Fusco recovered his dropped phone. "You foolin' me, John? 'Cause if you are, I'll, I'll..." Fusco was spluttering with anger.
"No fooling, Lionel. Just get over here. She really wants to talk to you."
"I'm on my way." Fusco ended the call.
Reese looked down at his phone. "Well, we have time for dessert before he gets here, I guess."
Carter, looking pale, rolled her eyes at him.
xxxxxxxx
Joss picked at her dessert, and so Reese finished it for her after polishing off his own. They were waiting with coffee when Fusco's burly figure approached the booth. He slid in next to Reese and gazed in astonishment at Carter, shaking his head in bemusement.
"I, I, I dunno what to say, Joss."
"Me either, Lionel." Joss was smiling and tearful at the same time.
"What the hell happened?"
"Yeah, well a lot of people have been asking me that," she sighed. She explained about the surgery, the pneumonia, the witness protection.
Fusco shook his head again as she finished. "But why didn't you tell me, Carter? You knew I had your back." His voice was rough with pain. "Didn't you trust me?"
Joss's voice was low. "I made a bad decision, Lionel. I was under a lot of stress, I was sick and not thinking properly. But it was still my decision and I made the wrong call. I was wrong not to tell you. I do trust you." She looked very directly at him. "Please. Can you forgive me?"
Fusco looked down at his hands a long moment. Then he gave a short, sharp nod. He blinked rapidly. "Yeah. Yeah, I forgive you, Carter." He drew a deep breath. "But so help me God, if you ever, ever do this again, I'll, I'll..." He stammered to a halt, looking helpless.
"Kill you?" murmured Reese, unable to resist.
Lionel shot him an irritated look. "Look, just don't do it again, okay?" he said to Carter. She nodded, wiping her eyes.
There was a long silence. Words seemed superfluous, and Reese for his part felt drained. "You want coffee, Lionel?" he asked.
"Nah, this late it'll just keep me up all night. I think I might go home, heat up that pizza again."
"Oh. Yeah. Ah, sorry about your show, Lionel," Reese felt compelled to apologise.
A wave of Fusco's blunt hand. "Aw, never mind. I'll get it off Netflix or somethin'." He slid out of the booth. Hesitating, he smiled at Carter. "You stay safe, huh? And call me if you need anything." He touched her arm and turned away. "See you tomorrow, Riley," he said over his shoulder as he made his way out.
"Whew." Reese rubbed his hand over his face. He looked across at Carter. She was sitting hunched over looking utterly exhausted. "You okay?" he asked her.
"Oh, I'm fine." She smiled at him wanly. "You were right, John. I'm glad you made me tell him."
"I know it was hard on you, Joss. But you made the right call," he said gently.
"Yeah. Yeah, I know. But please, John. Will you take me home?" The simple appeal in her eyes was impossible to resist. He could understand the need to find a safe haven, a bolt hole to crawl into. But Samaritan... whispered a part of his brain. He forced himself to think rationally. Shaw had seen nothing earlier in the evening. He could check the place himself, and he fully intended to guard her apartment personally while she slept. Anyone coming to get her would have to go through him first. He nodded.
"Okay, Joss. Let's go."
xxxxxxxxx
They walked slowly down the street together, a companionable silence between them.
"I was thinking last night that I wanted to go for a walk in a park with you," Reese said after a while.
"Instead you get a walk in Brooklyn. Lucky you," replied Joss.
"Oh, I'll take what I can get," he said easily.
"Hm. I'll have to consider what you might mean by that remark, Mr Reese," said Joss, a hint of a smile in her voice.
"Oh, no, no, Joss," he stammered, embarrassed. "I mean-"
"It's okay. Don't sweat it," she said, amused. She stopped walking and pulled him around to face her. "Look, we have more baggage than Grand Central Station right now, stuff coming from all directions. But life is short, John. Nearly dying changed me in a lot of ways. And I think it's the things you don't do which can leave the most regrets." She looked around at the street and then up at his face. "Come on. It's late and I need to get home."
It was another ten minutes before they reached her building. She swiped her card key and opened the front door. "I'm on the top floor," she said.
"I'll come up and make sure no-one's there," he said firmly.
"Why thank you, John." He went in after her, the door clicking shut behind them.
Joss insisted on using the stairs instead of the elevator. That was fine by him - he wanted to check the stairwell in any case. He led her up the four flights, gun in hand. By the time they had got to the fourth floor she was wheezing. Reese hated the sound. It seemed desperately wrong coming from her. He gestured for her to wait and moved towards her apartment door. She passed him her key, and he unlocked the door right-handed, holding his gun before his face.
The apartment was silent and empty as he moved from room to room. A refrigerator in the kitchen switched on with a hum. A car went by on the street below, just a whisper of sound and almost no light this high up. "Clear," he called softly. Joss came in and switched on the lights.
"Well. Here we are then," she said.
Reese put his gun away. "Yeah. Here we are."
The silence stretched.
"Good night, Carter," he said quietly.
"Good night, John."
He turned to leave, but suddenly felt her hand on his arm.
"Wait."
He turned slowly. She was staring at him as though she'd never seen him before. She stepped closer, and then leaned into him. He folded his arms around her and then simply stood like that, holding her, breathing the scent of her hair.
"You smell good," he said after a while.
She raised her head, chuckling. "I do not, I haven't showered in two days now."
He kissed her very gently on the forehead. "Joss, if you want me to, I'll leave now. Or I'll stay. Your call."
She leaned against his chest again. "I think I would like you to stay," she said softly.
To be continued...