I do not own any of the characters or the Hobbit (just the AU storyline and my OC) those are the work of the esteemed and brilliant John Ronald Reull Tolkien, and without his genius,this and many other fan fics would not be in existence.
Please review! I love getting them-they keep me encouraged J
Warning- there may be some allusions to attempted suicide, as well as a violent nightmare sequence in this chapter, so please consider yourself forewarned.
Once Thorin had released the pent up frustration and grief of the past day, he pulled away from Dwalin, wiping his red-rimmed eyes with the back of his hand.
"Thank you, my friend," Thorin said quietly in Khuzdul, the dwarf king's blue eyes conveying the gratitude he felt at knowing that he could break down completely and his friend wouldn't judge him for it.
Dwalin clapped his great hand on the fur covered shoulder, nodding in return, before the great dwarf's gaze shifted behind Thorin.
"The lad's having a nightmare," he said quietly, nodding in Fili's direction. Thorin turned, seeing the furrowed brow and general anguish on his nephew's face as the lad's head darted from side to side restlessly. He reached over, gently smoothing back the hair from the young dwarf's forehead until Fili stopped fidgeting and his breathing evened out, before his gaze returned to the burly dwarf.
"How did you know that was a nightmare?" he asked, and the burly dwarf sighed, shoulders slumping.
"Don't you remember after the battle?" he asked, his bluish green gaze settling on Thorin's. "The nightmares that followed?" Thorin nodded, worried gaze shifting back to Fili.
"Aye, I do," he whispered, "But I didn't foolishly try to run straight into a pack of wargs on my own." To his astonishment, Dwalin chuckled. The furious king glared at the burly dwarf, who just sat there shaking his head.
"No, you ran up against Azog, mounted on a warg who had the high ground," the burly dwarf smirked, though his smile did not reach his eyes. "And got your arse in the dust for it, like an idiot." Thorin glared for a moment more, before he sighed, shoulders slumping.
"What would you have me do?" he bit back lowly, still keeping his voice down. "Stand aside and let that monster take my last nephew from me?!" Dwalin's smirk faded completely, and he stared Thorin straight in the eye.
"You know as well as I do that Fili would have gone charging in there regardless," he said, all humor gone as his voice was edged with both steel and a great deal of concern. The burly dwarf looked down at the injured heir, gaze softening as his eyes beheld a just grown lad whom he had regarded as his own nephew since the day the healer's assistant plopped the tiny bundle into his stunned and terrified arms.
"What happened to him?" Thorin all but whispered, fear uncharacteristic of the stoic dwarf king in his eyes as he looked at his friend. "Why did he do something so blatantly foolish? It's almost as if…." The dwarf king couldn't say the thought that crossed his mind right then, the shock of it almost too much, but he didn't have to. Dwalin finished his thought for him.
"He wanted to die."
XXX
Fili did not know where he was. All he knew was that one voice was calling for him, and he could not reach it. It was as though his feet were made of stone.
"Fili!" Kili cried again, his terrified voice screaming in the background of the enormous cavern. "Where are you? Fee!"
The young dwarf turned his head in every direction, terrified gaze searching through the labyrinth of tunnels and bridges, but all he could see were goblins. Millions and millions of them, swarming around him.
Suddenly, his gaze beheld his brother, dangling from the end of a wooden platform. Terrified brown eyes met blue, and Kili screamed again.
"FEE!" the blood curdling scream rang out through the young heir's ears, and he charged forward, body covered in black blood as he stabbed and slashed his way through the angry, screaming hordes of goblins. All his thoughts were bent on his brother, whose grip was faltering even as he pleaded for his brother to reach him.
Suddenly, the young heir's swords turned into flame, as did his hair. He flew through the hordes, his twin falchions causing every goblin to burn as they were slashed. Smoke filled the cavern, but the young dwarf's blue eyes had turned to flame as well, his fury unmatched. He killed hundreds, then thousands of goblins, snarling unnaturally.
Finally, he reached Kili. The young dwarf held out his hand, but as the now all encased in flame dwarf reached out to grasp it, the hand slipped out of his reach. Kili's hand recoiled as though it was burned, and he began to fall, screaming madly.
Then there was not just his brother, but Cirashala as well. She stood by laughing, a great evil laugh.
"If I couldn't save him, what makes you think you can?" she cackled even as she burned from the proximity of the flame-wreathed dwarf. "You couldn't even save him on the plain. He would have died had it not been for me!"
Then, her blue eyes widened in panic as Kili reached out to her, grasping her hand and pulling her down with him. Fili screamed his brother's name, lunging out, but it was too late.
The two began to fall, before Kili's eyes narrowed and he laughed evilly.
"You could not save me brother!" he growled. "I am dead because of you! Some protector you are!"
Fili could only watch helplessly as the two fell, his eyes locked with his brother's until they landed on spiked stone spires at the bottom of the cavern. As the young dwarf's chest impaled on the razor sharp edges, he looked at his brother.
"Why didn't you protect me, brother?" he whispered. The young dwarf began sobbing, even as tears sizzled on his flame wreathed beard.
"I'm sorry, brother," he sobbed, whispering. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry! Forgive me!"
The light went out of his brother's eyes then, and the young dwarf let out an ear splitting wail, just before he felt clawed hands on him, holding him down.
"No!" he cried as the goblins swarmed around him, pinning him even as searing pain erupted from his right arm and the young dwarf began to burn to death, the sound of crackling flames deafening.
"NO! KILI!" he screamed over and over again. "KILI!"
XXX
Fili woke with a gasp, pain flooding his senses even as the lingering effects of his nightmare continued. He continued to fight the hands holding him down, only for words of comfort to break through the haze.
That voice…it sounds so familiar…not like goblins at all.
"Fili? Lad?" the soothing voice continued, tone soft even though the voice was deep. "Can you hear me?"
His eyes slowly forced their way open, fully expecting this to be another trick of his mind and to see goblins wreathed in fire around him.
Instead, he looked into the concerned face of his uncle.
"U-uncle?" he croaked, throat impossibly dry as the young dwarf grimaced against the pain. Thorin cradled his head with his left arm as he brought up a shaking hand to wipe the beads of sweat off the young dwarf's face.
"Aye, lad," he whispered. "I'm here." Fili closed his eyes, moaning as the pain radiated from his bandaged right arm. Thorin's gaze shifted to someone on the opposite side of Fili.
"Oin, see if Gandalf knows a spell to counteract the pain," he ordered, but Fili shook his head.
"I-I don't…don't deserve…." The young dwarf gasped out, and Thorin's eyes widened slightly, before his visage hardened.
"Nonsense," he replied vehemently, causing Fili to jump slightly.
"B-but I—" he began, but Thorin cut him off.
"You are the last of my kin, save for your mother, and I will not see you suffer," he said, his gaze locking with the young dwarf, before Thorin leaned into whisper in Fili's ear so quietly that even Bilbo's keen ears could not make it out.
"I will not have you kill yourself in your grief, whether it is by the hand of an orc or warg, or by your own."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXX
NOTE TO MY READERS: I apologize for the slight delay in posting of late, but have been incredibly busy with sewing and such for winter clothes (it snowed yesterday, and I have procrastinated too long on that task) so updates will be less frequent, probably once or twice a week, til I get caught up. Thank you for your patience, and I apologize for the slightly short chapter, but hopefully I will get another one out either tonight or tomorrow to make up for it :) but I unfortunately cannot guarantee….but I can promise I will try :D
A response to guest reviewer Ri-chan- I am glad you liked it! I like the memories too- that is definitely something someone does when they are grieving, especially if they are feeling very guilty for it, like Thorin is. It also serves to aid in refreshing reader's memories to early chapters/events, as it helps to show the character's arcs fulfilling themselves.
Thanks to all who review, favorite, and follow- you guys are so great! :D :D :D I couldn't have done this without you! :)