Jenny wakes up for the fourth time in the night to use the loo, she senses something wrong. She goes up to her daughter and wife's room and knocks. No answer. Jenny moves as fast as she can and wakes Vastra. "Where is Alaya and Fiona?"
"Fiona took a shift at the hospital. Our daughter probably followed to be nearby."
"No, something is wrong."
"I am sure they are fine."
"Oi! I said something is wrong."
Vastra sits up and compassionately responds. "What do you want me to do? How can I Assist?"
"Help me get dressed and we go to the hospital." Jenny is making a poor attempt of removing her nightgown. "Please?"
Vastra smiles as she remembers the emotional ups and downs when Jenny was pregnant with Alaya. "Yes my love."
Vastra successfully dressed her bulky wife, changed herself back into street clothes and then called a taxi service.
In less than twenty minutes Vastra was holding the front door open for her determined pregnant human wife.
"May I be of service?" Inquires the nurse behind the front desk.
"No."
"I am afraid visiting hours are over." The nurse stands to produce a minor amount of authority.
"I am not visiting," as Jenny works herself to the stairway.
Vastra turns to the nurse, "It is fine. We shall be leaving directly."
The nurse smiles and decides to let the second floor nurse deal with this woman.
Jenny is holding on the handrails as she musters her strength to climb the stairs on to the third floor. "Vastra."
Vastra comes to her wife's aid as she lifts her body up and carries her up to the third floor.
"Oi! I didn't say carry me."
"I saw an opportunity to move swiftly. Time might be our enemy."
Jenny nods, "Thank you. You might be right."
The two look down the hallway and see Fiona walking into her office.
Vastra offers her wife an arm which Jenny gladly takes it for support. They stand in front of Fiona's office and Jenny knocks loudly.
Nobody answers.
Jenny knocks again.
Fiona answers from inside irritated, "Come in mothers."
Jenny enters and points down at the suitcases. She turns to Vastra with tears in her eyes, "See I told you."
Vastra closes the door and calmly responds, "They are adults."
Jenny shakes her head and yells in whispers, "They are family."
"They are adult family members."
"They are all we have." Jenny falls into her wife's arms and cries.
Alaya is standing over by the windows while Fiona is on the far end of the sofa. Alaya and Fiona look distressed.
Vastra, "Inform us of the current situation."
Silence.
"Please." Mother Jenny begs.
Silence.
Neither Alaya nor Fiona dare to look at anyone.
"Help me sit."
"Where would you like to sit?"
Jenny points to straight back chair, "I can easily get out of this chair."
Vastra assists her wife awkwardly as she gets comfortable in the chair. jenny quickly inquires, "Why do you have suitcases?"
Silence.
"Oi, pregnant woman here ... with twins." She looks back and forth to the young women as they maintain their heads in polar opposites.
Silence.
"Fiona when does your shift end?"
Fiona looks to the wall clock, "It has ended five minutes ago."
"Let's go home." Jenny waves Vastra for assistance getting up.
"I am not going back."
Jenny waves Vastra for assistance sitting down.
"Why not."
Silence.
Jenny turns to her wife for assistance. Vastra asks Alaya, "Are you returning home?"
Alaya, "I go with Fiona."
"Fiona are you returning home?"
Fiona puts her head down and whispers, "No. She is not coming with me."
"Why?"
Silence.
"One will talk for a second and the other shuts up. They reverse their roles on the next question. I have no idea how to proceed." Vastra looks to her wife, "Any suggestions."
"We know it has to do with telepathy."
"It is more than just the telepathy." Alaya whispers.
Everyone looked at her waiting for her next words.
Vastra looks at her daughter over by the window only a few steps away but emotionally she on the other side of the world.
Alaya speaks up, "What do you want to do?"
"Be left alone." Fiona speaks loudly and firmly.
"Does that include me?" Alaya asks mildly.
"Yes."
Vastra turns to Fiona. "We have wronged you. We are so sorry. Please do not punish our Alaya."
"You are our Fiona, our Little one. Ask us anything." Jenny begs.
Fiona looks up with bloodshot eyes with dark circles underneath. "What did you learn about me?"
Vastra calmly responds, "You had doubts, limited schedule and you didn't want to be committed to to anything except your education."
"What do you believed would have happened if I never have been put into that hospital?"
"You would have stayed the course of your education and we meet two years from now."
"What else?"
Jenny looks to her wife, "Before you went into the hospital?"
Fiona nods yes.
"You were going to stop writing. You wanted the conversation face to face. It was about putting on hold everything. You decided to focus on your education and opportunities."
Fiona looks down and nods yes, "I was loosing focus."
"We know what strength it would have taken you to have that conversation. You fell in love with Alaya early on. Was it love at first sight?"
Alaya turns her head to listen to the response.
"First giggle," Fiona smiles. "I was stronger before they put me into the hospital. I wanted to become something amazing to offer my wife. She needed time to become more for the family business." Fiona gets quiet, "That place broke me in to tiny pieces. If it wasn't for Louisa, both of your kindness and Alaya ... I would not be the person I am today. I owe you all so much, I am grateful." Fiona tears up, "I fear I have broken Alaya's heart with this new information."
Alaya talks to the wall, "You were robbed of many things. There is a great mystery swirling around my Fiona." Alaya faces her mothers, "She deserves to know."
Vastra tells Fiona about Virginia Woolf, the typewriter, what she said at graduation, the fake monk. "... the universe or at least someone in the universe had previous knowledge of your life alterations. They might have been helpless when it came to keeping you out of that hospital so they gave your future a little push."
Fiona sits back and whispers, "I have felt out of sync with myself. I feel like I have to catch up to this imaginary finish line that keeps moving."
She looks to her wife with pounding heart. "Oh god." Fiona gets up, runs over to the her bin, falls to her knees and vomits. She begins to wail and cry out.
Alaya runs over to her.
"No!" Fiona stops her wife from coming closer.
Alaya hesitates just for a moment and comes to her wife's side. She begins to rub her back.
Fiona spews again. "Leave me be. Return to your mothers."
Fiona starts to vomit again. "Go back to your mothers."
Alaya stays with Fiona rubbing her back and holding her hair.
Once her stomach has been emptied Fiona stands up, goes to the sink and baptises her face with the ice cold water. She returns to the security of her desk.
Jenny inquires, "We want to know, why do you want to leave?"
"It seems you know me better than my wife, my mother and probably better than myself."
"Have we ever given you a reason that we would use that knowledge against you?"
Fiona shakes her head no.
"Then come home."
Fiona shakes her head no.
"Please tell us why?"
"Because," Fiona looks up to her wife's Mothers, "You hold all the cards. You withhold information, even from your daughter. You don't share, unless a particular question is asked in that particular structure. You have proven time and time again that Vastra and Jenny is all that you need ... a secret society. To see my wife angry at another secret being withheld made my heart tear. As I sit here feeling angry you disclose information you could have shared with me at any moment. But you didn't."
Vastra sits next to her wife as the holds her hand in silence.
"She worships the ground you walk on Vastra." Fiona points to Alaya across the small office while looking at the Mothers. "Jenny, my Alaya depends on you to help her navigate her human side. As mush as Vastra trains her ... she looks for your tutelage of what it means to be half-human."
Fiona flew her hands up in the air, "Even trying to get pregnant ... I had to ask difficult questions. You didn't offer freely." Fiona stood up and pointed to her buttock, "I had to be bitten! Bitten. I don't like to be bitten in my arse!"
Fiona sits down and takes a deep breath, "Alaya is so proud working with you again Vastra ... she wants so dearly to be your Silurian warrior daughter. Jenny ... my wife finds such peace with you as only a human mother can offer. Today I saw Alaya feel unworthy. Again. She is offered a morsel of information that could be vital in achieving her life's goals, a clue to possible Silurian comradery. Instead she is outside the sacred circle you formed, she patiently waits to be invited." Fiona stands and shakes her head. "Enough, I want out."
Vastra stands up, "You do not."
Jenny waves her wife to help her out of the chair. "I need you in my life." As she leans over the table to grab the only purely human hand she has touched in almost two generations.
Fiona looks at her, "You only need Vastra."
Jenny cries, "It isn't true. I want you in my life. I do need you."
Fiona slinks back into her desk chair and hides her head. 'I can't watch my wife hurt any more. I can't. I need to be stronger.''
Vastra, "Then let our Alaya come with you."
Fiona puts her head up, "I will not. Do you not understand? She wants nothing more than to be your equal. I can't offer her completeness. She does everything for you." Fiona quiets herself, "Allow me put in Silurian terms you will understand ... You are her goddess."
"I am her mother, nothing more." Vastra stands firm holding her wife.
Fiona stands and points to Vastra."No, you are her god. She worships you. Do you not see it in her eyes. She has give up her own voice in reverence. My sweet gentle Alaya willing offers herself in veneration."
Fiona sits back down exhausted. "How would you feel if your goddess kept information from you that would make your life easier, better or even happier ... to only disclose bits and pieces. Those insignificant tidbits made you feel whole. Instead you have all the pieces to the puzzle to make Alaya complete but you withhold, over analyse to the point where nothing is shared or relieved. Then I come along bring to surface missing pieces." Fiona shakes her head, "I am not a catalyst for your use."
Fiona looks at her wife, "I won't watch my wife beg for another crumb of information or attention, it is demeaning."
Vastra and Jenny sit back down dumbfounded.
Silence.
Fiona takes a deep breath, "I mentioned before that you are both very self-sufficient. I was not informing you of a positive attribute. I was disclosing a defect. You took it as a strength while I saw a weakness. You both are viewed as perfect or at least try to be perceived as perfect. There are no mistakes made by either of you. You are always successful in anything you put your sights. One final comment, Vastra, it is time to take off the veil in front of your daughter."
Jenny waves her wife to help her up. "We need to fix this. We have to fix this." She pulls her tall daughter to the sofa.
Vastra looks to Fiona. "Give me and my wife an opportunity for retort. Your words have hit deep and we need a moment to gather our thoughts. Please."
Fiona nods and stands up. "I will be right back with tea. Mother Jenny water closet is to the right."
Fiona returns from the lounge on the ground floor with four cups of tea. All three look dejected. 'Did I do this?' She decides to be verbal with her thoughts so as not to be mistaken, 'You all look dejected. Did I do this?"
Jenny grabs her wife hand, "No. Vastra and I are fully responsible. It is our mistake."
Vastra adds, "We have been talking. All your words, no matter how harsh ... you are right. We don't know how to go about fixing or making adjustments."
Fiona looks to her wife; Alaya looks like a young child who had their toys taken away. "My dear Alaya ... please tell me anything."
Alaya looks up with broken brown eyes, "I ... "
Fiona sits behind her desk like a fortress wall and sips her warm tea anticipating her wife's voice.
Vastra speaks, "Yes. It is true Jenny and I do not need anyone."
Alaya looks down at her tea.
Fiona's anger is stirred.
"But we want you in our lives. We want our family to remain intact. Please do you have any solution?"
"My only solution is to leave and let the Flint family go forward without me."
"That is unacceptable."
"To whom?"
"To us. All of us."
"So what I want or need is irrelevant?"
"What do you want?"
"We are going to go round in circles. I have said it plainly and without stutter ... I want out."
"What about what I want?" Alaya asks looking at her wife.
"Please release me." Fiona whispers.
"We go together."
Fiona cries into her hands. "Why can't you just let me be?"
"Because I love you and you love me." Alaya comes to her wife's side and bends down, "You have not been home for a year. Please be patient. We can handle anything. We can solve this together. We can figure this out."
Silence.
"Fiona, Please be patient with my mothers."
Fiona melts into her wife's arms. Alaya's voice covers her like a warm summer shower. Fiona cries softly. "I need to be alone. Please. I offered two students an exchange so that I could take time for myself. I have the next two days and nights off. I am emotionally exhausted."
Alaya whispers looking into her wife's weary eyes, "I understand. I do." Alaya mind is moving searching for a solution for her wife, "I need to take my mother's home. I will ensure you have the time and quiet you need for yourself. Please come with me. "
Fiona looks to her wife confused.
"You can trust me." Alaya offers a muted smile.
Fiona nods.
Alaya brings the car to a full stop in front of 15 Savile Row. Vastra helps Jenny out of the car and directly into their home.
Alaya takes her suitcase out, "I will return in a few minutes."
Fiona nods as she lays her head against the interior. She falls asleep straight off to the sounds of the busy street.
Alaya returns to the automobile and taps her wife on her nose. Fiona wakes to a key dangling from her wife's hand.
"What is that?"
"Privacy, solitude and cheap."
Alaya pulls out Fiona's suitcase, "We walk. Are you able?"
Miss Gardner comes out of 15 Savile Row with a smile. "Thank you so much. It will be wonderful to be back in a home filled with noise. My Tori is excited to have all those books." She turns to Fiona, "Please give me a moment to pack a few things up. There isn't much for food, so you will have to fed for yourself."
"Thank you Allie." Alaya walks with her wife to the markets as they go to the grocer, baker, street vendors and purchase two bottles of over priced whiskey. After which they walk towards Miss Shaw and Miss Gardner's loft.
Alaya hands the key to Fiona.
Fiona unlocks the door and enters a small humble loft. "They both live here?"
"Yes. They are saving to travel the world." Alaya puts the food away, opens the first whiskey bottle, "I am sorry it is not your brand. if you need me, ring this." Alaya places the bicycle bell on the bistro table and goes to the door.
Fiona runs over and touches her wife's hand.
Alaya turns and cups her wife's face, "Stay as long as you want or need. It shall be interesting back home, I will take notes."
Fiona smiles, "Thank you."
Alaya exits the small loft.
Fiona closes the door and looks around. She smiles as she sees two chairs, a small bistro set, a bed barely enough for two and books. Tons of books everywhere. She walks to the windows to get fresh air and turns around to see a map of the world pinned to the wall.
The quiet became real as Fiona whistles to check her hearing.
She goes to the counter and pours herself a small glass of whiskey taking it down in her Scottish fashion. "Aye it isn't much, but it 'll doo." She puts the bottle away and cleans the empty glass. She then undresses and flops on the soft bed. 'I love my wife'.
Fiona wakes up after twenty minutes and pushes the bed against the wall. She smiles as she feels the cool plaster wall against her lower back. 'I hope Vastra and Jenny understand. I will not let our children feel less or beg for attention from their grandmothers. I want no secrets held back for their success. I will not let that happen..'
"Silurian Goddess, please give Alaya the strength to find her words. We need her to find her words." Fiona falls asleep in a soft chant caressing her small stomach carrying two precious gifts. 'Don't worry little ones, your mother will find her words.'