Chapter 27

From the Journal of Bobby Winchester

Dionysus stuck around the palace and he was….an odd guest. Crowley didn't like him. No one really liked him. The guest room he had been lodged in was now entirely covered with ivy that had begun to creep out of the windows. Before our acquaintance I had had the idea that talking to Dionysus would be something like talking to a perpetually almost drunk frat boy. Irritating, potentially a little dangerous, but mostly good time would be had by all. I can't make it clear enough how inaccurate that is. Talking to Dionysus is like brushing the teeth of a rugaru tiger unarmed wearing a blindfold. And he was living in our palace. I had issued a guard to Gabriel but not only did Gabriel find endless joy in slipping him it was sort of like asking a kitten to guard radioactive cougar from falling prey to a rugaru tiger.

Dionysus had an odd effect on a person. I was entirely convinced he could control it, an entirely convinced he would refuse to control it. If he were to suddenly come up behind you, as he frequently did, walking like a shadow in his little silk slippers, you would get a creeping itch in the back of your brain. As he got closer your mind would fall prey to the simultaneous assault of overwhelmingly destructive sexual fantasies coming with almost as much ferocity as their companion blood soaked fantasies of horrific violence.

A few days after Dionysus had come to stay, I was with Gabriel, standing next to a broken window trying to tenderly pull shards of glass out of his wings before they could hurt him, when he elbowed me in the thigh.

"What?" I said, maneuvering his topmost feathers back into place.

He whispered back, "What's Hades doing?"

I looked up, Crowley was standing at the end of the hall, stopped nearly midstep. I tilted my head in confusion. I watched him blink and glance around, looking distinctly uncomfortable. He wriggled his body like he was trying to shake off bugs and shook his head. I felt the wriggling at the base of my skull I had become a bit too familiar with and frowned. As expected Dionysus shimmered around the corner smiling his unsettled smile.

He touched Crowley on the small of the back as he passed and murmured to him in a voice that was too quiet for me to hear. The corners of Crowley's mouth turned down and Dionysus swung passed him, hips swaying. I finished fixing Gabe's wings and directed him away from Dionysus, up the hallway.

"Go Gabe, run off, try not to break another window."

Unhappily Gabriel allowed himself to be dismissed and scampered off. Much more unhappily I turned and marched back up the hallway, stalking toward Dionysus. As I approached I was taken aback by the rather vivid image of slamming Crowley against a wall and biting him so hard his blood filled my mouth. That was superimposed over the much more terrible fantasy of goring Zeus with my fist and devouring his flesh raw like a wolf. I was overwhelmed by the dizzying array of blood my brain was creating.

"DIONYSUS" I roared. It sounded much more desperate that I had been intending. But he stopped and regarded me.

Blood now pumping much harder than it had been I took a deep, steadying breath. I shivered. From down the hall I could smell Crowley. And hellfire he smelled edible. I couldn't focus on Dionysus and took a shuddering step toward Crowley, who was, in his turn, looking at me with eye burning intensity. I had not been the recipient of that kind of stare, it burnt my skin apart and set me ablaze.

I bit my tongue harshly and twisted back to Dionysus, trying to ignore Crowley advancing on me like a Hellhound.

"Dionysus, if you would like to continue to be welcome here, stop this."

He tilted his head and furrowed his brow deeply. "You would throw me out?"

"I am not throwing you out, I'm telling you how you can get yourself thrown out and you are deciding to have to leave."

The urges stopped and Crowley's irresistible scent decreased somewhat. I straightened my shirt and nodded at Dionysus, "Thank you. Now, if you would like to continue to be our guest, please do not spread your madness, this is to be a refuge to all, not just you."

He looked compliant, if a little put out. He pushed his hands deep into his pocket, sighed at the ceiling and trailed off, pouting.

I waited until the sound of his steps had entirely faded before I rounded on Crowley, who was regarding me with a raised eyebrow.

"Come on." I said, taking him by the wrist.

"I do have actual duties as a King of Hell, darling."

I looked back at him darkly, "God of Madness or not, if you stalk toward me looking at me like you did, there are other kingly duties you're going to have to prioritize."

XXXXX

From the Journal of Bobby Winchester

There was a plan that I had been working on. More of an idea really. But it had begun to require a bit more planning than I had anticipated. I had spent most of the last week tucked away in Hades' and my office, lounging on a couch we had put across the back wall, reading and making notes on a hand drawn map. After this relentless work, I was closing in on the end of it, which, of course, was the beginning of the actual work. But the actual work was adventure, which pleased me.

Finishing with my notations with a relish, I rolled up my map and leaned my head back, looking up at Crowley, on whose shoulder I had been leaning. "I'm going to be gone for a few days."

He glared down at me, "You're leaving me alone with the drunk cross dresser?"

I grinned, "Are you mad because you think he looks better in a dress than you would?"

"He is slowly choking the palace with ivy, he can drive people mad – "

I booped him on the nose, "Because he doesn't. I bet you'd look great in a dress. It would really accent your hips."

He flicked me on the forehead, I laughed, "You can't take me with you wherever you're going?"

"Who would watch Gabe…or you know….hell?"

"You know, we could choose a lieutenant. One of your Captains maybe, you seem to trust them."

I stayed silent, considering, it would be nice to take him along. To be entirely honest, I missed roaming the earth with him. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the palace and ruling Hell had its perks, but I sort of missed watching sunsets over ten year old canned food. I was excited for my adventure topside and Crowley did nothing I not make adventures more adventurous.

My responsibility reared its head, "We're in the middle of a war. Stay here and try to keep our armies alive, I'm going to go alone." I curled myself up and rolled to my feet.

He tilted his head up at me and raised one sarcastic eyebrow, "So I'll stay here rallying troops and you'll go and try to sell mortals on a dangerous and ultimately deadly sacrifice for the sake of vengeance? That sounds like an excellent allocation of skills."

I rolled my eyes, "You think you'd be better at selling them on the idea?"

He stared at me then deadpanned, "Yes. Yes, Bobby. That is what I do."

I furrowed my brow, confused then laughed, "Oh yeah! You used to be a crossroad's demon. I forgot. I mean, when I met you, you were so useless I forget that you were somebody before you met me."

He gritted his teeth. My laughter intensified, "You really want to attack me don't you?"

He muttered under his breath, "The thought had crossed my mind."

I leaned down within his reach and grinned, "You know I'd win right? If you attacked me?"

"Go get ready for your trip."

"Go get ready for my trip he says." I laughed.

He looked up and snarled, "You know if I waged a war against you and aligned all of my resources against your petty martial skill I could have you entirely ripped to pieces!"

I pinched my lips together, trying mostly in vain to quell my laughing, "Well….yeah."

He looked taken aback and warily gratified.

I swooped down and kissed him, "You think I spend afternoons planning covert operations curled up with useless people? I'm insulted." I turned on my heel and walked out the door, looking back over my shoulder for a final comment, "I'm going to go get ready for my trip."

XXXXX

From the Journal of Bobby Winchester

Travelling in the ancient world required a chariot. Travelling the ancient world as the Queen of Hell required an impressive chariot. Travelling the ancient world as the daughter of Dean Winchester required a cool chariot. I had spent an impractical amount of time drawing up specs for it and explaining to my engineers exactly how I wanted it to look.

I had found my engineer, Xedualus, more than willing to try to make exactly what I had in mind. He had died relatively young and maintained a bulky, youthful appearance, hair and eyes a black that matched the stains that usually dyed his hands to the elbow.

I had told him to interrupt anything I was doing to tell me the moment that he had finished my new baby. We were having dinner, as it happened. Dionysus was not yet eating with us, but Gabe, Crowley and I were at our private table, Crowley scooted over toward Gabe, teaching him to properly snap his fingers.

"Don't use your third finger, you eggshell," he reprimanded.

The door crashed open and Crowley snarled at Xed, standing, breathing hard, in the doorway.

"I um- I mean..uh- Sorry for the interruption" he said, quailing under Crowley's sneer.

I leapt up, grinning, "Never mind, is it done?"

He beamed at me, "It's done, Per-" he glanced at Crowley, "um...my lady...uh..Queen..my lady Queen."

"Persephone is fine," I dismissed, Crowley glaring at me, "Take me to it!"

I rushed around the table and followed him, ignoring Crowley's protests. Crowley, as I passed him grabbed me roughly by the wrist, I looked down at him irritably. "What?"

He smirked at me, "I have a gift for you to outfit you for your adventure, I'll have it brougt down to you."

Genuinely uninterested in Crowley's gift with the promise of my chariot before me, I nodded vaguely and charged off with Xed, hurrying with him to the base of a tower where his workshop was situated. We pounded through the double doors into the light flooded metal shop. And there he was. Standing there in a patch of light just gleaming.

A shining black, he was low and broad, with heavy lines and beautiful curves, silver grating covering the bottom half of the front. Curling silver lettering across the left side read, 'Baby.' I ran my hand against it and grinned back at Xed.

"This is great, Xed, perfect." I continued circling it, I stopped at the harnesses at the front and touched them, my smile shifting a little, "Xed, isn't this a little small for horses?" I asked unsurely, not having much experience in horses.

He blushed and ruffled his hair on the back of his head with his big blackened hands. "Oh..um...yeah...that was just this idea that I had um..I mean...I can fix them if you don't like it….." He was blinking a lot, shifting his weight back and forth.

"Ok, what?"

"OH!" He said, jumping then hurrying across the room, "Well, my la- uh… sorry...um.. Pers-Persephone."

I wasn't entirely sure if he had a stutter or if he was just always nervous, I let him work out communicating.

"Well..Pers-Persephone.. I um….I made them for uh…" he stopped talking and pulled open heavy metal doors separating the workshop from Hell outside. On command crept in an enormous two headed hound, black smoke crawling from its skin, growls issuing from deep in its vicious throat.

"You made me a...hellhound chariot?" I asked.

"Um...yeah...I uh...I can change it..I just...you see they're quicker...and um….they fight better...and their agile and uh…sorry."

I laughed, "This is PERFECT, Xed," I nearly shouted, "What's her name?"

"Him..I mean..he..he doesn't have a name," he said, managing almost a full sentence, "I mean..um...I thought that you could name him." He was running his hand through his hair again and looked quite a bit like a giant puppy himself.

I offered my hand to the hellhound who sniffed me then immediately began to nuzzle my hand, I grinned and pet his left head, he pushed it against my hand roughly while the other head snapped, trying to get a better position to receive attention. I led him over to the chariot and Xed helped me strap him in. His long, floppy tail wagged aggressively, just too short to hit me while I was in the chariot. Both his head turned in opposite directions to regard me, I grinned, stepping up onto the chariot and looking about for the reins.

"Uh..Xed, where are the reins?"

He beamed, "Oh, oh thats the best part, um..see so horses need them but hellhounds respond to um...verbal commands and are smarter than horses so um...you can have your hands free to shoot and stuff...so you don't need a chariot driver. You can just...go on your own...I thought you'd like that."

I stared at him, "Yeah...yeah, Xed...that's...really thoughtful...thanks." I was still staring at him, smiling tenderly, him blushing and grinning back when there was a knock.

I turned, Crowley was leaning in the doorway, package under his arm, eyes narrowed.

"I have a gift for you, Persephone." He said darkly. He stepped quickly toward us, stopping when he stood between Xed and I, holding out his bundle. "I had it made for you. To go with this monstrosity."

I smiled at him and opened it, it strapped itself around me cunningly, clicking into place. It was, to my delight, a new set of armor to replace the one I had lost. This one though, was a beauty. I glowed a dull burnished bronze the cape a heavy dark brown leather. The gauntlets extended down my fingers without coming underneath them, giving me flexibility, and etched across the breastplate in an simple and straightforward design that would, of course, but illegible to anyone who had not spent time in modern America, was a bold, 'W.'

I blinked at him, and grinned, "Thanks, Crow," I murmured softly.

He nodded, "Go. Go alone. You should."

My smiled widened, "You don't think it will be too dangerous alone."

"If Zeus tries to kidnap you a second time, I would like you to send me an invitation to the funeral."

"Take care of Gabe."

"I was going to let Dionysus babysit."

"For real, take care of Gabe, I know you like him."

"Get out of here." He said, "But name that bloody hound first."

I regarded my new hound, who was craning backwards to look at me, both his tongues lolling out of his heads, "Bones."

Crowley stared at me, "You get a ravenous and ferocious creature capable of hauling back to souls of the damned and you name him Bones, are you an eight year old boy?"

"Let's go, Bones!" I yelled happily. He lurched forward charging through the still open door into hell beyond. It took halfway through Hell for him to get the hang of how he had to move to keep my from nearly tipping out of my chariot, but when he got it we flew. He was faster and more agile than a horse, and responded, I thought, more to what I wanted instinctively than any verbal commands.

We rocketed through the gateway to the cheering of the guard, a steady pack of hounds chasing after us, giving me a howling fanfare.

I leaned forward, laughing, my cape flapping behind me, the wind whipping my short, dark hair. I willed open the portal to the World and as we neared it Bones leapt. We soared through the air, hitting the portal at full speed. There was a rush of airlessness and we landed on the grassy Earth, which smelled sweet and kind.

AN: Hey guys! I KNOW RIGHT ITS BEEN FOREVER. I got really stumped on this chapter, but the next should come faster because I actually know what's happening.

Again in this chapter, there was a lead up to a bit too racy for a journal your dad will read BUT YOU GUYS AREN'T HER DAD SO IT IS IN: During the Course of Ruling Hell Go Along Porn Activity Book. And if anyone knows how to embed links in this website that would be hella rad to know.