"Ladies and gentlemen. You each have one thing in common with each other: you are all being blackmailed! You pay what you can afford-and sometimes more-to a person threatening to tell your secrets, but you have no idea who it could be!"

Suddenly, Mrs. Peacock rambled on about how she has no secrets and never did anything wrong in her whole life. I bet even Mustard saw through that lie. Wadsworth calmly looked around, "Anyone else wish to deny it?" I shifted nervously in my seat. Silence.

"Alright. I am instructed to shed more light on the reasons you are each being blackmailed." So we get to hear everyone's dark and dirty secret? I'm listening. "Mr. Plum," the professor had moved to the fireplace, the colonel taking his spot, "I will begin with you…" he explained how Plum use to be a psychiatrist; but his license was revoked, so now he worked for the U.N. "Why? What did he do?" Scarlet pushed with an eager smile.

"You know what doctors aren't allowed to do with their lady patients?"

"Yeah?'

"Well, he did."

That's a simple way to put the situation, I guess. Peacock decided to open her big mouth, causing Wadsworth to prey on her next. Apparently, she had been bribing other politically-powerful lobbyist so they could affect the polls concerning her husband. "What would you say towards the action of slipping used greenbacks in a blank manila envelope under the men's room door?" The butler prodded.

"I'd say that stinks." Scarlet declares.

"It's A DIRTY LIE!" Peacock yelled, pacing by the portrait. She really needs to learn to mask her emotions. "I, too, am being blackmailed for something I didn't do." White comforted. "Me too." I interjected. Well, it wasn't a lie. I am just trying to give the impression that I'm gay: that doesn't mean I am. "And me!" the colonel stated. "Not me!" We all stared at Scarlet. Wadsworth looked surprised and very confused at the moment. "You're not being blackmailed?" "Oh, no I am. But I did what I'm being blackmailed for~" Apparently, she runs a 'specialized hotel which provides gentlemen with the company of a lady…for a short while.' Plum was very intrigued about that, and cautiously asked for the number. He is such a perverse man, I swear. Then, as if out of nowhere, a thought in my mind surfaces, just begging to be spoken. I might as well. "So, how did you know Colonel Mustard lived in Washington, Scarlet?' I grinned madly while suggesting the next comment, "Was he one of your clients?"

"CERTAINLY NOT!" the colonel's face turned red as he approached Miss Scarlet. "Tell them it's not true!"

Wadsworth and I were enjoying the scene playing out, as he accompanied me on the couch, both feasting on strawberries. "It's not true." She replied nonchalantly. "Is that true?" Plum asked her. "No, it's not true."

I bolted up, slightly startling Wadsworth next to me. "Aha! So it is true!"

"A double negative!" He spoke as he stood and walked over to Mustard, who tried to whisper "Wait, you mean you have photos?!" but failed. "That sounds like a confession to me! In fact, the double negative has led to proof positive! I'm afraid you just gave yourself away." Mustard was flustered, stammering angrily. "Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?"

"You don't need any help from me, sir."

"That's right!"

I chuckle at that statement, knowing that the Colonel had no idea that those words came out like they did! Wadsworth turns and smiles with me as Mustard still stood unaware. Plum comes over and sat back down next to me. "Well, Mrs. White! You've been paying the blackmailer ever since your husband died under mysterious circumstances."

"I didn't kill him! I only paid because I didn't want a scandal on my hands! He was a stupidly-optimistic man, I mean, it came as a great shock to him when he died….and he was found at our home with his head cut off. As well as his…..well, you know….". Simultaneously, all the men in the room crossed their legs, me along with them. "Your first husband had vanished very mysteriously." Wadsworth continued.

"That was his job, he was an illusionist."

"But he never reappeared."

White scoffs "He wasn't a very good one."

Before this becomes any more awkward, I decide to clean my slate. I put down my strawberries, and cleared my throat while standing. "I have….something to say." Scarlet and Wadsworth turn to look at me. "I won't wait for Wadsworth to…unmask me." With that, I take off my glasses and fiddle with them nervously. "I work for the state department. And I'm a homosexual." Blushing as I finish the sentence, I look around the room. Mustard shifted in his seat awkwardly, Peacock was in her own little world, White was as blank as usual, Scarlet was intrigued, Plum was disgusted, and Wadsworth was looking at the floor, face tinted pink. And when he finally looked up, he shuffled the papers in his hands, a glint in his eyes. Well, it seems that everyone believes me! I sigh inwardly with relief, sitting back down. Plum stood to distance himself from me as if I had some sort of disease. "Well, that only leaves Mr. Boddy." He states.

"What's your little secret?" Scarlet mutters to the man sitting calmly in the back of the room. "Oh, haven't you guessed?" Wadsworth interrupted, "He's the one who's blackmailing you all."