AN: More randomness. Jumping all over in timelines because this is me having way too much fun being anything but serious. I did have a serious idea pop up based off this..but it has to wait. So there you go. Three goofy chapters and all of a sudden I have the urge to make this non crack. I have problems I think. I may do it from the academy on in a more serious tone, or just let it fluctuate.

Because it's nice to poke fun at things.

()()()()()

Ninja birthday parties become really insane traditions.

Which I think is because for kids at least, your days are an unceasing training to go to the academy, training with your family, developing your bizarre traits (not that they admit to that one) and lots of repetition.

So when there is an excuse to party? The adults go absolutely off the wall bonkers. They start at about high school level. There's a few wacko's already there but everyone's being kinda nice. They swiftly hit college level mindless of the children present. If you have a large party you actually are required by Hokage-law to have a medic on the premises who is not there to get drunk.

Ninja adults clearly never grow up, they just get good at playing pretend all over again.

The Lee clan is spread out over Konoha but we have a sort of block or two of town that we kinda bought out. It's all in areas you aren't supposed to have homes because the refineries are right there but it means we get a lot of peace and cheap land. Practicality is one of the hallmarks of the Lee's and my mother's family who I learn only that night was called Yue, are very into being practical. I mean, they're run by the women outright and kind of took over the Lee clan when Okaa-san and our grand parents came in. Seeing as most the Lee elders had died in the third war they were happy to have someone around.

Besides, Yue's didn't believe in frivolous beauty items and so if you couldn't do it yourself you rarely did it. I think the civilian wives were more upset about that then their husbands were the transition of who had final say in things. By the time Lee and I were in the world however, things were harmonious. It helped that the first rice wash water and sake itself was a great beauty treatment and they were now making crème with it to sell in the markets. Granny's idea.

I'd probably go by the surname Yue if it wouldn't make me laugh hearing You e See? Instead of Yue Zi..English, you get me in so much trouble.

So our party meant lots of beautiful decorations everywhere because we used the same ones for all the events, everyone had good traditional attire on in various shades of purple and white and silver so we looked all matchy matchy. I looked right out of a little chinese painting. Disgustingly adorable. My gray eyes matched my hair ribbons holding my hair in the two traditional side buns. I had a purple dress on, a Qi Pao , in purple with little silver and white plum blossoms and tiny purple shoes.

My parents had way too much fun with this.

I walked away from the mirror to find Lee, because when in doubt, seek my other half is kinda my thing. It's gotten to the point I don't even really remember not having him around. My memories of the Before are becoming sort of more a book I read that I can never tell anyone about.

"Lee?"

"Ah.." Lee pops his head out of the door, fully dressed but a bit askew. Sighing I start tugging his sleeves and collar into place. "Sorry Zi, I was sneaking in some sit ups.."

"How many?"

"fifteen. I forgot to count at first again."

"That's okay. We'll do lots tomorrow together, okay? I'll sit on your feet for you."

"thank you." Lee smiled and took my hand in his, of course our Tou-san had made sure he was my opposite in the color scheme. Dark purple pants, his shirt matching mine but the colors were reversed to be silver with purple details. "What?"

"Lee, I think our parents like making us match too much."

"Well we are twins, and we don't look that much alike." Lee nodded to himself. He really was quite smart, just not around people he didn't know well. He liked to be underestimated.

"I think we look like our parents."

"We do. But I wish we looked more alike."

I knew Lee was sad some times and so I had to put a spin on it, he did this on purpose knowing my next response. "Well then tou-san and kaa-san would be putting you in a girl's Qi Pao." I tapped my chin. "And you'd be prettier than I am."

"No one is prettier then my nee-chan!" Lee exclaimed, his fist held up by his chin as his eyes practicality burned daring me to argue.

"Thank you."

The actual party was already in full swing. Really it was our birthday but aside from the piles of presents on the side and that cake would be out later, it was more an excuse for everyone to get together. It was mostly civilian's, but there were some ninja's because our tou-san may only be chunin rank but he was very skilled and they needed him desperately. Which didn't make sense because apparently he had a desk job.

Whatever.

The Hyuuga's had actually shown. Not many, and I didn't see Hinata or Neiji there but there were a few tiny pale eyed children that Lee and I greeted and talked with for a while. Lee had of course, blundered his invitation to the Uchiha and it was probably for the best. My twin had enthusiasm but not what I'd call tact.

Lee I adored, despite the fact we were so blasted tiny. I couldn't socialize well however with kids my own 'age' as my brain still thought I was a much older woman from before. So I sat with the elders for a lot of it and listened to their stories. Lee played games, pulling in me in for a few with a challenge that my blood would not let me back down from.

It was nice.

Like everything else it soon became rather..normal. Our days blended in with the seasons into a lot of repetition. Train, study, listen, etc. Parties became something I had fun with when we would be sent out with the invites. Lee and I would trade off who invited whom and we often had a lot of the more elite shinobi clans sending lesser members to be polite.

One time I was sitting politely sipping very sweet tea on a garden bench at another clan's home, the Yamanaka one I thought. At least I kept seeing a lot of blondes. I had been sitting in silence beside just another Hyuuga whom I couldn't tell if they were a boy or girl child because we were in that soft faced stage and they were in a formal yukata and hadn't talked. Finally though, after the second time someone came and refilled my tea cup before continuing (Lee had vanished earlier with some of the other kids to play tag but the outfit kaa-san had put me in this time was all white and I'd been promised a new training lesson if I didn't get it dirty) "The Uchiha are being boring again."

"...?" that was kind of impressive. The Hyuuga didn't even say anything but I could sense the question without them even moving. We were still pre-academy! That was actually rather awesome.

"Tou-san once told me they don't know how to have fun. They aren't even mingling. You are at least sitting by me even if not talking, they're just standing around radiating smugness." I heard the snickers in a choked sound and inwardly gave myself a high five. Okay sure it was a kid but still I was making a Hyuuga laugh!

"They are a prominent clan." Oh apparently he COULD talk! And was a he. I hope that was a boys voice..some of them were pretty high pitched..

"They look average though." I pointed out. It had always bugged me in the anime how everyone fawned over how 'good looking' the Uchiha were. "Black hair, black eyes, no expressions. Pale skin. Minus the expression that's what most people look like. My brother has black hair and eyes!"

"They have prominent features."

"Most do."

"...I suppose we Hyuuga have an advantage there then..." the pause went on to the point I figured he was done talking. Hey I'd tried.

Of course he waited until I took another sip.

"As do you."

Well thank you round about compliment so unexpected I almost choke on my tea!

Ugh.

Hyuuga's.

()()()()()()

I had returned home with a pristine white Qi Pao.

Immediately second thoughts formed when I saw what kaa-san was going to teach me. Never underestimate the little women.

"OW!" jing a ling

"You weren't stretching far enough." Granny was quite happy to swat me with her little paper fan. Now it wouldn't hurt except she did this thing with her fingers and paper suddenly was like a ruler. Taking a deeper breath I ignored the burning sensation and pushed my body further. I'd made fun of people doing yoga in my Before. This was revenge. This was someone up there giving me karma and letting it do very bad things to me.

Because I didn't just get to stretch, oh no. I was stretching like a Chinese acrobat. I had bells tied to me in certain locations and if I quivered or jerked they'd jingle. Jingling was a bad thing. I had to hold my stretches. Logically I knew better than anyone my age should, that this was going to make me awesome. It'd help when I was older and maybe even save my life.

Right now though?

Oooowwwwwwwww...

I am still blaming Tobirama. For everything. He had to have put something in the water forever ago.

Jing a ling

...Someone hates me.