AN: Here is my therapy for the Mid Season Finale of Arrow. THERE ARE SPOILERS!

Thank you to the amazing Rennie75 who helped me with the beta on this one. Thank you my friend.

Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow.

Chapter 5 - The Climb

Felicity knew that as soon as they talked they would be over. She had thought that they might actually have a chance. Five months after they had finally put Slade away Oliver had asked her out on a date. She thought her heart had stopped after he asked her, it was that unexpected. However, she had never seen him smile so much. He had not been this happy in all the time that she had known him and for once, she thought that maybe they had a chance at being together - at happiness.

The night of her date with Oliver, Felicity had spent hours getting ready. She had wanted to look perfect, for him. She hadn't thought thatshe would be this nervous, however, she had changed her dress option three times as she couldn't decide which one was the right one. Finally she had found the perfect outfit, had managed to get her makeup to go on just right, and her hair had finally hung perfectly. It was time to leave for the restaurant.

Felicity arrived before Oliver, which hadn't surprised her as he was out on Arrow business. She went to their table and sat sipping on her water. She had been more nervous then than she had been waiting for her acceptance letter for MIT. She had looked up towards the door for almost the hundredth time when she finally saw him walking towards her. Her breath had caught in her throat. She had seen him in a suit and tie millions of times, however, he never looked more handsome, or sexier, than he did right at that moment. When she stood to greet him and he hugged her she had realized that they were actually on a date and she felt that nothing in theworld could change that. She soon found out that she had been wrong.

Felicity had known the moment that the date came to a very abrupt end . Oliver had turned his head to the window for only a brief moment before pulling her to the ground. In that moment, the restaurant was hit by a rocket and she had blacked out. She should have known that happiness wouldn't last.

When Felicity woke up in the Arrow Cave the only thing that she knew was that she needed Oliver. She needed to know that he was alive, and unhurt. Thankfully he had been right by her side, and if she was honest with herself she knew that he would be. But, she also knew that this meant that the happy ending she had been hoping for, wouldn't be happening. She knew that Oliver would close himself off from her, step away to keep her safe, and she didn't know if she could handle that this time. That's why she had told him that it would be over as soon as they talked. She knew he would end it.

She was right!

When she and Oliver stopped in the hallway outside of Lyla's room she knew what was coming. Oliver would give her the I just want to protect you speech and tell her that they couldn't be together while he was the Arrow. For once in her life she would have thrown a party if she had been wrong. But she wasn't. She had begged him to stop dangling maybes in front of her. She wanted so desperately to be with him that she knew she wouldn't survive being with him every night, in the lair, seeing him shirtless, and yet knowing that he was still out of her reach. That's why she had told him to tell her that he didn't love her. She wanted him to say it straight out. He begged her not to make him say it.

Then Oliver placed his hands gently on each side of her face and kissed her. It was everything that she had dreamed of. He was soft, gentle, caring. She knew right then that she had to walk away, or she would fall for his maybes again.

They had talked...now it was over.

That night she had downed a whole carton of mint chip. Even then she couldn't fully process what she had done, that she had walked away.

They went about their lives normally for a while. Well, as normal as it could be knowing that someone had murdered Sara Lance, their friend and partner. Felicity knew that finding the killer would be a long, challenging road. She knew that they might not like the answer to the question Who killed Sara Lance? She was devastated that she had been right about that as well.

When Oliver told the Team about his visit with Malcolm she knew they had to find another way. There had to be some way that they could take care of this, protect Thea, without sending Oliver to his death. She knew that he wouldn't do it any other way though. He would always sacrifice himself for his friends, but most importantly his family. Especially after he had had to watch both of his parents die right in front of him.

Felicity walked into the lair on that fateful night and she knew as soon as she saw him hugging Roy that her worst nightmare was coming true. Oliver was going to Nanda Parbat to face Ras Al Ghul in a duel to the death. She knew she was about to lose him unless he could do the unthinkable. It was then that she knew what she had to do. She had to ask him to kill again, for her. He said he would do anything for her and this was the one thing she needed him to do.

Why? Because she knew that if Oliver didn't kill the Demon's head that Ras would kill him, and that was unthinkable. She needed Oliver, alive, breathing, and very much here in Starling City, with her. She knew that if he left, and didn't come back, that she would have a hole in her heart the size of the Grand Canyon. She stood there and begged him to come back to her.

When Oliver said he knew two things she knew that he was quoting her, when she told him that she believed in him. He held her and she grabbed his shirt as he kissed her forehead. She didn't want to let him go. She reluctantly let go of his shirt as he started to walk away and she realized that she didn't know what the second thing he was so sure about was. So she asked, knowing that he was probably being more honest with her right this moment than he ever had been.

That's when Oliver told Felicity that he loved her, just before stepping away to fight a duel to the death. Felicity knew that she loved Oliver as well, what she didn't know was why she didn't say it back. Why she simply stared after him, feeling like her heart had just walked out the door with one Oliver Jonas Queen.

Felicity sat in her chair in the lair, alone, and waited to hear from Oliver. She was so scared that Ras was going to use Oliver's humanity against him, that Oliver wouldn't be able to kill him. Suddenly she felt an incredible pain on her left side, like she had been sliced open with a knife. Moments later it was like someone had thrust a sword through her ribcage. She almost doubled over in pain.

It was then that Felicity knew. She knew that something had happened to Oliver, something terrible. She knew that she had probably just lost her one and only chance to tell Oliver that she loved him and now she was afraid that she had just lost him for forever.

Felicity knew, in that moment, that Oliver was dead.

AN: Thank you all for reading yet again. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think!