I do not own any of the characters or The Hobbit (just the AU storyline and my OC) Those are the work of the esteemed and brilliant John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, and without his genius, this and many other fan fics would not be in existence.

Please review! I love getting them- they keep me encouraged! J

Bilbo's teeth were chattering even as his hair still dripped cold pearls of water down his neck, dampening the collar of his freshly washed tunic. But despite the water being far colder than he would have thought it would be given the summer season, his impromptu "bath" had been well worth it.

After their stunned surprise at seeing the naked hobbit dash into the snowmelt fed river without any hesitance at all, and a few chuckles at the undignified high pitched yell he had emitted after discovering what they already knew about the great river's source, several of the dwarves finally acknowledged that a bath might indeed be welcome after the harrowing six days they endured. Sweat and orc blood mingled together on their clothing to create a smell that even a troll would have thought unsavory, and every member of the company save the fitfully sleeping Fili felt compelled to remove at least one indicator of what had happened in the goblin tunnels from their tired bodies, even if their memories remained intact.

Even Thorin had decided to bathe, the realization that his nephew's scarlet blood still stained his own body and clothing making him nearly sick to his stomach. Oin had sternly deemed Fili unfit to bathe in the river out of fear of him becoming too lightheaded from blood loss and stating that, should he faint, he could drown, so after the dwarf king was clean and the rest of the company offered to wash his clothing for him, he and Dwalin had taken the lad to a more secluded spot to bathe him privately.

Bilbo frowned, thinking of what Balin had told him when the three had disappeared into the bushes slightly downstream from the rest of the company about an hour ago.

If the lad was seen by the others being bathed by his elders with cloths like a wee dwarf babe, it would shame him more than almost anything else would. He's a warrior, not a child, and it never did sit well with him when he was incapacitated for any reason.

Glancing toward the bushes where the three had gone, the hobbit bit his lip worriedly. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he looked up in surprise to see a naked Bofur plop down on the grass beside him, sighing contently.

"Sure is a good feeling to be clean," the toymaker commented, stretching back to lie down in the warm grass with his arms behind his head and seemingly uncaring about his own lack of dress. Looking toward Bilbo with a mischievous glint in his eye, the dwarf smirked.

"So Bilbo, did ye forget that the Anduin is fed from the melting snow in the mountains?" At the shivering Bilbo's sidelong glare the toymaker chuckled. Turning onto his side, the toymaker propped himself up on one elbow, eyeing the hobbit curiously.

"Why did you do that?" Bofur asked, confusion lining his face. "You always balk about taking even your tunic off in front of us hairy dwarves, as I recall your saying, and yet ye jumped into a river naked as a wee bairn." Bilbo sighed heavily, staring straight ahead at the river as Dori admonished Nori for missing a spot on his tunic. Nori's voice arguing that it was just a little spot and no one would ever notice the difference carried towards them on the gentle summer breeze.

"I just thought it was something Kili would have done," the hobbit said quietly. Bofur's face fell, and the sparkle in his eyes that had been there moments before died. Sitting up, the toymaker propped his arms on his knees, unusually quiet as he too watched the actions of the dwarves who were still by the riverbank.

The toymaker could see what Bilbo could not, having known Dori and his brothers far longer than the hobbit. Dori's increased fussing over such a trivial thing as a spot on a tunic was most definitely not like his usual self. If it had been Ori, it would not have been unusual at all- Dori had been his youngest brother's caretaker ever since their mother and father died when Ori was but a small dwarfling, and while it vexed him sometimes, Ori didn't fight it.

But Nori had gotten himself into far worse scrapes than Ori ever did, and the elder dwarf had a great deal more to worry about with his middle brother than an almost imperceptible spot on a shirt. Dori's fussing over it told the toymaker just how afraid the eldest had been of losing his brothers, just like Bofur had feared losing his own gentle and somewhat clumsy younger brother and his sometimes confused cousin.

"Aye, he would have," the toymaker responded quietly. "That's just like the lad ta have done something like that." The somber tone coming from Bofur was very unusual for the dwarf, and Bilbo glanced over at him, noting the shimmer in Bofur's eyes even as he swallowed heavily and blinked them back.

"Why did it have to be Kili?" the toymaker asked, voice choking slightly. "He was the youngest of all of us, and he and Fili had the most to gain from this quest, should we have succeeded. True, he had been technically of age for a few years, but he had only just neared the end of his apprenticeship." Bilbo's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Apprenticeship?" he asked, and Bofur nodded.

"Aye," the dwarf responded. "Dwarves become of age at forty years, but then they are apprenticed to someone in the trade they wish to learn, lads and lasses alike, though the girls will most often seek to apprentice to their mothers. So while they're of age physically, they usually do not marry and cannot open their own shop or mine until the apprenticeship is over."

"When is the apprenticeship over?" Bilbo asked. "In the Shire, lads will often seek to learn under someone, but they can marry or start their own farm as soon as they have enough coin to buy one or build their shop, and convince a lady to court, as long as they're at least of age." Bofur sighed.

"The apprenticeship ends at the age of eighty two, when most dwarves can begin to work in their trade on their own," he replied quietly. "But in many ways an apprenticed dwarf is still very young, especially to us older dwarves."

"Kili was nearly eighty two?" Bilbo's surprised tone caused the toymaker to raise an eyebrow.

"Surely it hasn't escaped your attention that dwarves age far more slowly than halflings do?" the toymaker asked. "Or were you not aware that we live to nearly two hundred and fifty years?" Bilbo's eyes widened.

"I had no idea," the hobbit admitted. "I knew dwarves lived longer than hobbits, but I had no idea just how much longer."

"Aye," Bofur replied. "I've known the lads since they were but wee babes. Came into my shop every year around their birthdays, it seems." It disconcerted Bilbo that the cheery dwarf he had come to befriend looked so disheartened, as though all optimism he had possessed throughout the quest was gone.

"Kili would have been seventy eight this year," Bofur murmured next to him, a tear sliding down his cheek. "Little more than a child, it seemed." Bilbo swallowed heavily as the realization hit him.

"So he was barely past a tween," the hobbit whispered in shock. Bofur nodded. "I had known he was young, but...how old was he in human years?"

"Twenty nine," Bofur replied after a moment, his voice so quiet it was nearly inaudible. "Just a lad."

A rustle in the bushes caught Bilbo's attention, and Balin, who was on watch, jumped to his feet. The old dwarf promptly saw who it was, and discreetly signed toward the others who had turned to resume their activities as though nothing had happened. Bofur immediately turned and interpreted the sign for Bilbo, whispering lest it be known that he was teaching the hobbit what the dwarves' secret igleshmek signs meant.

"How old is Fili?" Bilbo asked in a whisper, discreetly glancing toward the bushes where Dwalin and Thorin had just come out, the dwarf king carrying his now clean nephew protectively in his arms as the burly dwarf strode beside them, gripping the handle of his axe and glancing at his friend and the lad with concern. Bofur swallowed heavily, his voice catching.

"Eighty two."

XXX

Thorin was relieved that the company respected Fili's privacy and did not stare or even look in their direction. Dwalin walked next to him, still clearly angry that Thorin had insisted on carrying the lad himself despite his own wounds, but Thorin would have it no other way.

He was extremely concerned about the wellbeing of his nephew now. The Fili he had known since a wee babe was lost to him. The Fili he knew would have been utterly ashamed and mortified in his weakness, and even if he hadn't been able to resist physically with his wounds, he would have at least begged his uncle to let him do it himself.

But the Fili the elder dwarf held in his arms hadn't been ashamed- he had been angry. Far angrier than Thorin had ever seen him in his life. His shock at his nephew's words up on the Carrock compared nothing to what Fili had said by the little inlet the river created.

I don't care if there is orc blood on me. I don't want to forget! How do you think I could forget my own brother?! Leave me alone!

Thankfully the young heir had passed out after his outburst, and Thorin had been able to finish bathing him. His clothing had been washed beforehand, and dried quickly in the sun and breeze as they worked. But it hadn't stopped the elder's hands from shaking violently.

No, Fili would not forget his brother. Just like Thorin would never forget the terrified look on Kili's face and the screams as the two plunged to their deaths, and know.

If it hadn't been for him, Kili would be alive.

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A response to guest reviewer guest- Yup. Life's been crazy busy of late in preparation for spring, but I had to prepare for a medical procedure yesterday, and it forced me to sit and rest all day. I was finally able to write after nearly 3 weeks, and popped off 3 chapters for you all :D I hope that made up for the long hiatus. Thank you a whole lot for saying I am brilliant- I am glad you liked the chapters :D

A response to guest reviewer Kaia- Here you go :) Thank you :D

Much thanks to all who review, favorite, and follow- seriously, I don't know what I would do without you guys being so patient and continuing to follow the story so faithfully despite real life craziness! Thank you! :D :D :D