BUT HOW ABOUT THIS?

"In the dark," Wadsworth rushes, "the murderer ran across the hall to the study, grabbed the rope and the lead pipe, ran to the billiard room-" we all watch the butler, us standing in the hall, and try to follow his actions. He looks over towards me, and with the dangerous look he had before, tries to grab my neck and act out Yvette's strangling. Oh no way. I have had enough abuse pretending to be Mr. Boddy earlier! I dodge, and his hands lightly wrap around Mrs. White's neck instead.

"-strangled Yvette,"

I breathe a sigh of relief, my neck being spared. Mrs. White makes false choking noises, and dramatically falls to the floor. Wadsworth looks around and, seeing me, smiles. He runs towards me.

"Ran to the library-" he swings his fist at me, and I drop to the floor to avoid the impact. Mustard, instead, takes the "blow".

"-and hit the cop over the head with the lead pipe!"

I stand back up, wearing a soft glare directed to Wadsworth. He smiles and blew me a kiss, then walking to the front door where the rest of the guests are. "Then, coming out of the library, the doorbell rang. It was the singing telegram girl. The murderer picked up the gun where Yvette dropped it, ran to the door, opened it, recognized the girl from her photograph, shot her, and ran back to the cellar!" Wadsworth grabs Peacock's hand, and they dash to the cellar doorway while everyone echoes "The cellar!" and runs after the two. When they stop, Peacock tugs her hand out of Wadsworth's hand, stating bitterly "But Colonel Mustard wasn't in the cellar!" The butler looks at her,

"No. But you were."

She takes a breath, removing her glasses. "So?"

"You murdered them all. You were the person who was missing when Mr. Boddy and Yvette were murdered. And the cook used to be your cook, too! You made one fatal mistake." He smirks, everyone else attempting to piece together what the mistake might have been.

"Sitting in the dining room, you said we were eating one of your favorite recipes. And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often found in Washington D.C!"

I gag. "Was that what we ate?"

We ate brains. Monkey brains. I ate a brain. That was too much.

I queasily run to the bathroom, and barely reach the toilet to empty the contents of my stomach. Wiping my mouth I see that, indeed, what I purged from my body looks like brains. Or maybe vomit just looks like that anyways. I spend a moment to clean myself up, gargling some water and washing my hands, then heading back out to see what has occurred.

Walking into the hall, I see Peacock pointing a gun at Wadsworth, everyone else in a huddle in the middle of the hall. I piece things together rather quickly-the gun was missing from underneath the chandelier, so the murderer kept the gun… whoever had the gun shot the girl. Wadsworth was right, Peacock is the culprit!

"Nothing." The butler says, continuing a tense conversation with Mrs. Peacock. A conversation I completely missed.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing at all. I don't approve of murder, but it seems to me you've done the world a service by ridding it of an appalling blackmailer and his disgusting informers."

"But the police will be here any minute!" I almost shout, not wanting Peacock to get away with all those heinous murders, "What happens then?"

Wadsworth looks at me, not noticing I was behind him until then. He hesitates, breaking his gaze for a second. He smiles, turning back to her, then me. "Why should the police come? Nobody's called them."

Peacock blinks in disbelief, speaking slowly "You mean…?"

He nods. "That's right. Now, I suggest we stack all the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and…" glancing at me, he finally says "…and forget that any of this ever happened."

I feel my heart drop. How could he say something like that so casually? It…it's terrible.

He must see on my face what I'm feeling, because he flinches very visibly.

"Great idea. I'll go first! If you don't mind." Peacock shouts, turning our attention back to her. She goads us to join the group huddle, shaking the gun at us.

"Be my guest." Wadsworth says, merging with the huddle of guests. "In fact, I think we all owe you a vote of thanks!"

Peacock scoffs, rolling her eyes. Wadsworth, smiling ever so wide, begins to sing. "For she's a jolly good fellow, for she's a jolly good fellow…" the rest of the visitors begin to join in- Mrs. White even sing a separate melody! Mrs. Peacock closes the front door behind her, and everyone immediately stops singing. I sigh, and turn to Wadsworth, who was staring at the door.

"Do you really want us to forget everything?" I ask.

He turns to me, hearing the question. The butler is silent for a moment, searching my face.

He grabs my hand, and squeezes it softly. "No. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry if you thought I meant it, really." He leans towards me, giving me a tender kiss. I must be surprised, because the butler is chuckling.

"Forgiven." I squeeze his hand in response.

We hear someone cough- Professor Plum- and pull apart, abashed.

"Ehem." Wadsworth shifts, looking at the other guests.

"What if the authorities find out what happened with the murders?" Mustard asks, scratching his head.

"The FBI will take care of that." Wadsworth says. I nod as if in understanding. But really, it's because I know that's what we do. I wonder if Wadsworth would be talking so freely if he knew there was an agent right under his nose. Or, at least, kissing what was under it.

Wadsworth leans against the stair rail, continuing. "My phone call from Mr. Hoover? I work for him, of course. How else would I know everything about you all?" I swallow. He's an agent, so he must know about me.

"There's one thing I still don't understand…" Mustard announces.

Mrs. White laughs. "One thing?"

"Who was Mrs. Peacock taking bribes from?"

Wadsworth shrugs, "A foreign power. Her husband, the Senator, has influence over defense contracts."

"Is there going to be a cover-up?" the Professor asks.

"It's not in the public interest. What could be gained by exposure?"

"Well, is the FBI in the habit of cleaning up multiple murders?"

"Of course. Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover?" He looks at me and smiles. There is a commotion coming from outside the mansion. Wadsworth turns to the rest of us, "Follow me." He walks to the front door, us right behind him. Walking outside, we see bright lights, and a dozen or so cops surrounding Mrs. Peacock. One of them handcuffs her and leads her to a cop car, all the while she is screaming "Take your hands off me, I'm a senator's wife!"

The Chief smiles, looking to me and the butler, winking. "Boys, we got her."

Wadsworth smiles, speaking to the guests. "You see, it's like the Mounties-we always get our man."

Mustard looks horrified.

"Mrs. Peacock was a man?!"

Mrs. White rolls her eyes, snapping the Colonel's suspender straps. The night now over, I look at Wadsworth, finally asking him "You're an agent, too?"

He smiles. "My district is one floor up from yours. I'm an agent, yes. But I am also your superior, Green."

I stay quiet for a second, thinking of something to say. "Isn't it frowned upon, though?"

"What is?"

I give him the slyest smirk I can.

"Sleeping with your boss."

He chuckles, but there was a very evident blush on his cheeks. Turning to the rest of the group, he asks politely, "Would anyone care for fruit or dessert?" Everyone shakes their heads. He looks at me, and I ponder it.

"Nothing for me, thanks. But maybe I'll steal a kiss from you…boss." I add a wink to emphasize. He shakes his head, smiling fondly.

"You've already stolen my heart. There's nothing I won't give you."

So sappy, am I right? One more ending to go!