BUT HERE'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

The butler walks away from the electricity switch, and looks at us all. He sees that I am, admittedly, shaken up, and gives me a smug look. He speaks, addressing all of us. "Sorry, didn't mean to frighten anyone."

"You're a bit late for that!" I shout, still shaken.

"Then," Wadsworth continues, "There were three more murders-"

"So who did it?!" the other guests wail.

"Let's consider each murder one by one!" The butler walks up to Plum, pointing at him.
"Professor Plum! You knew that Mr. Boddy was still alive! Even psychiatrists know the difference between a patient that's alive or dead. You fired the gun in the dark and missed, so you pretended he was dead. That's how you were able to kill him later, unobserved."

Scarlet claps her hands together. "That's right! He was the missing person from the kitchen when we found the cook dead!"

"But he was with us when we found Yvette was screaming," I interrupt, "If that's when the cook was killed, how did he do it?"

"I didn't!" the Professor shouts, fixing his crooked bow tie afterwards. Peacock scoffs, folding her arms. "You don't expect us to believe that, do you?"

Wadsworth turns to her, clasping his hands behind him. "I expect you to believe it. You killed the cook."

Two murderers? I didn't expect that.

"She used to be your cook," Wadsworth speaks, "And she informed on you to Mr. Boddy. You made one fatal mistake!" He runs to the dining room, with us in tow. The butler sits at the table where she did during the meal.

"Sitting here at dinner, Mrs. Peacock said she was eating one of her favorite recipes," He stands up, a cocky glint in his eyes. "And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C!"

We ate…monkey's brains?

I gulp.

Okay, just don't think about it, push it out of your head.

…which happens to contain a brain...

Stop it!

Everyone runs into the hall, and I follow, shaking my head. We stop at the front door, where Wadsworth keeps talking.

"Colonel Mustard! When we saw the motorist at the front door, you took the key to the weapons cupboard out of my pocket. Then you suggested we all split up. You split away from Ms. Scarlet, crossed the hall, opened the weapons cupboard, took out the wrench, ran to the conservatory, entered the lounge through the secret passageway, and killed the motorist with a blow to the head-" the butler runs into the lounge, and then raises his hand, hitting a nonexistent person. "-like that!"

He runs back out, looking around, and grabs Mrs. White's hand, dragging her down the hall with him.

"This is incredible!" She exclaims.

"But not so incredible as what happened next!" He runs up the stairs, Mrs. White trips and is left behind. We watch him from the first floor, craning our heads up to look at him.

"After we all split up again, Yvette came up with you-yes, you, Mrs. White!- and after Yvette snuck down to the first floor, you hurried down as well, turned off the electricity, got the rope from the open cupboard, met Yvette in the billiard room, and throttled her." Wadsworth walks down the stairs, past the ever- silent Mrs. White. "You were jealous Yvette was schtupping your husband-that's why you killed him, too!"

She glances at us, walking down the stairs. "Yes. I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her…SO much…! I-it, it..it…f-flam-flames! Flames… on the side of my face! Heave-heaving…he-heaving breaths…! Heaving…"

Wadsworth rolls his eyes.

"But while you were in the billiard room, Ms. Scarlet seized the opportunity, and under the cover of darkness ran to the library, where she hit the cop – whom she'd been bribing- over the head with the lead pipe!" He smiles at the mentioned woman, "True or false?"

"True!" She says, a bit more gleefully than you would expect from a murderer. "Who are you, Perry Mason?"

Plum points at me, "Then it must have been Mr. Green who shot the singing telegram!"
I pale, looking around. "But I didn't do it!"

"There's nobody else left." Colonel Mustard speaks.

"But I didn't do it!"

Then who could have?

I search each face in the room and, my stomach taking a dive, I come to one conclusion. There's one more person who could have done it.

"The gun is missing." I say. "Whoever has the gun shot the girl!"

Everyone glances at each other, then hear the metallic click of a revolver being pulled out. I keep a confident face, despite what chaos was churning inside me, and turn to face the last murderer.

Wadsworth smiles, a look that wasn't as kind as it sounds.

"I shot her."

The other guests are aghast. Scarlet, who was at Wadsworth's side previously, slinks towards us, joining the captive huddle. I shift my feet, making my posture stronger, giving him a sad smirk and pointing at him. "So it was you. I was going to expose you!

His smile grows almost akin to a crocodile smiling at its prey. "I know. So I've decided to expose myself."

Mustard gives him a disgusted look. "Please there are ladies present!"

Wadsworth's face is blank as he looks to the seven of us. "You thought that Mr. Boddy was dead, but why? None of you even met him until tonight…"

My eyes grow wide, and I can't help but give an impressed- and slightly disgusted- smile.

"You're Mr. Boddy!"

Wadsworth-er, Mr. Boddy? No, let's stick with Wadsworth- grins madly, quirking a brow at me. I have to hand it to him, he stayed in character during the whole thing.

My smile falters a bit, awe replaced by anger. Does that mean all of what happened… all those looks, those smiles, those kisses…were an act?

"Wait a minute!" Plum grabs our attention, running to the side to the study and pointing inside. "So who did I kill?"

"My butler."

Plum drops his arm, "Oh, shucks."

Wadsworth motions cockily with the revolver for Plum to rejoin the group.
"He was expendable. Like all of you." His eyes meet mine, and he smiles at my growing anger, probably visible on my face.

"I'm grateful for you all disposing of my network of spies and informers. Saved me a lot of trouble. Now there's no evidence against me!" Wadsworth chuckles.

Mrs. White shakes her head. "You mean this has nothing to do with the disappearing nuclear physicist, or Colonel Mustard's work on the new top-secret fusion bomb?"

"Of course not. Communism was just a red herring." He speaks, rolling the words off his tongue. Keeping the gun pointed at us, the suit-clad blackmailer walks to the closet, pulling out a jacket.

I scowl, clenching my fists. "But the police will be here any minute. You'll never get away with this," I motion to the group, then glare at Wadsworth, "Any of you!"

He tilts his head, questioning "Why should the police come? Nobody's called them."

"You mean…?" I mentally slap myself. Of course he didn't call the police.

"Oh my god, of course!" Peacock wails.

"So why shouldn't we get away with it?" The blackmailer begins, "We'll stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and pretend that none of this ever happened." Wadsworth glances at me. "Well, at least most of it. I don't want to forget something like that, Green."

I take in a breath, steeling myself. "And you'll just…go on blackmailing us?"
"Of course, why not? I can have so much fun with that…" He smiles, giving me a dark look.

"Well," I continue, taking my glasses off and tucking them inside my suit, my fingers brushing against the hilt of my gun. "I'll tell you why not…!"

Grabbing my gun, I swiftly bring it out, shooting at the very shocked Wadsworth. He shouts, dropping the gun, hand beginning to bleed. I run over and pulled handcuffs out of my jacket. Kicking the gun away, I shove him to the ground, keeping a foot on him while I lock him up.

"Good shot, Green. But handcuffs?" Wadsworth breathes, giving me a look. "I wish I had known, you could have used them on my earlier." I twist his arm, smiling sickly at the mixed noises he gives.

"Don't worry," I whisper, lips brushing his ear, "the night's young. And I'm sure I can find us a nice soundproof room…" he bites his lip, furrowing his brow.

"Not that I'm complaining," Wadsworth groans, "But I wish you would do something more productive with those sinful lips of yours, Green."

I chuckle. "So wanting. Maybe I'll sate that appetite later. Stay down."

I pick up the second gun, pocketing it. The other guests start to move towards me, but stop dead in their tracks when I point my gun at them. Mrs. White points a finger at me. "You a cop?"

"No, I'm a plant."

"A plant?" Scarlet scoffs, "I thought men like you were usually called 'fruit'?"

"Very funny," I glare, reaching for my badge in my suit pocket and pulling it out. "FBI. That phone call from Hoover was for me." I pull Wadsworth up roughly from the floor, trying hard to not get his blood on me.

"I told you I didn't do it!" I nod to the group of murderers in the middle of the hall then open the front door, a flood of policemen storming in and pointing their guns at the guests. Chief walks in, confidently holding his gun. "Alright, whodunit?"

Everyone begins pointing at each other, desperate not to be persecuted.

"They all did it!" I smile, looking at Wadsworth's- Mr. Boddy's- hand. "But if you want to know who shot Mr. Boddy, it was me, in the hall, with the revolver. Okay Chief, take them away. I have a promise to keep." I escort Wadsworth out of the mansion, leaving the Chief to deal with the others.

"What promise?" Wadsworth groans.

I purr, nibbling on his ear. "I need to take a certain cocky blackmailer down a few pegs tonight."

The End!

Geez, how long did this take to finish? Like a year or two? Either way, better late than never! Take whichever ending you prefer as truth, but I enjoyed writing all three of them! :3