Chapter 13: One and the Same

BPOV

The concerts dates were set, arenas books, and a quarter of the tickets already gone in three days. It never failed to amaze me how loyal our fans were. We had given the less than a week notice yet they bought tickets as if we'd announced the dates months before like we usually do. As much I thrived to, I couldn't bring myself to be happy. My relationship with Josh, my best friend, was hanging by a thread. Once upon a time Joshua Neil Farro was my rock. I could depend on him to be there whenever I needed him. He was there to cheer me up when I was down but also there to ground me when necessary. Now he was a new person. He'd changed, whether for the good or the bad, I know not. He was judgemental, short-tempered, temperamental, always making snide comments about Hayley's relationship with Chad, always going on about how he 'changed her' and sometimes, just plain mean. I liked to think josh and Hayley had ended on good terms, they had agreed that being in a relationship was a dangerous, stupid and selfish risk for the band.

It was great whilst it lasted or as Jeremy had worded it "Living with two hormonal teenagers on a bus with no parents around, what do you think happened" when he was asked how living with the couple for a few weeks at a time was like. (Stole that from someone, can't remember who, forgive me?)

Ending things with Josh had not been easy although living with him for the long duration afterwards had made it look like a piece of cake. The frustrating part was that it wasn't Josh making it difficult; it Hayley. Soon after ending things with Josh Hayley had realised it was a big mistake. She still loved him, no matter how much she'd tried to tell herself that she didn't, she truly did. She desperately wanted to talk to him, maybe ask for a second chance at their relationship but each attempt at doing so pathetically failed. There was, however, a time when she prepared to talk to him. She'd a given herself a small pep talk. She'd set herself up for disappointment, that was she couldn't be hurt; the only way was up. She was sincerely; hand on heart, going to talk to him. Lay her cards out on the table, tell him she was all in, and ask where he stood. Unfortunately he was not where she wanted him to be. After gaining the courage to walk in the room and choke out the words 2Josh can we talk please?" Hayley Williams would look up and see the first of many things done, intentionally or not, by Josh Farro that would break her heart. In front of her was Josh pulling away from what had been a very heavy make out session with a strawberry blonde girl he'd later introduce as Tabitha Jane Richards. She'd felt her world come crashing down before her eyes. Hayley never got to know the girl. There were many opportunities presented for the two women to bond, Hayley was just reluctant to so. They'd spoken a few times, enough to get the faintest outline of her character. She had the typical attitude most girls would have towards their boyfriend's ex. She wasn't a total bitch. Hayley didn't hate, but she didn't like her either. She kept her opinions to herself. She was the masterpiece of an illusionist at her best. Putting on a smile a few hours a day should be one the easiest things ever and yet she found it immensely hard. Josh and Tabitha didn't last long. The only problem was by the time he was single, she was with Chad. She couldn't end things with him with the hope Josh would take her back, it was too much of a risk, besides, she really liked Chad he was a nice guy.

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"Alright, we have three dates set going from the 15th – 18th December," Hayley announced to her band mates whom all looked sullen with exception of Josh, of course, whom looked none too happy. Whether he was still sulking about having to say an extra three days from his beloved Hayley did not know and quite frankly she didn't care. "I'd say we need to book a hotel for 4 days. A studio for three, we need to do a few things, a couple of instrumentals, acapellas and what not." She said looking down at the small sigh in her hand when she heard a sigh. Three guesses for whom that came from?

"Oh my goodness, Josh you're free to go. Nobody is stopping you, we can find a replacement, Taylor can play lead and we try get Ben to play rhythm." It was then that she realised she'd said something wrong. All the guys, Zac inn particular was looking down. It was Josh who puzzled her though. His eyes held an emotion normally foreign to them. It was cloudy but years of friendship with him had given a great ability to read him. His eyes were deep pools of brown filled with hints of confusion, indecision and the one that stood out most was the hurt. The hurt in the man's eyes was unmistakeable, as if the expressions on the guys' faces hadn't already tipped her off, Hayley knew she was treading on thin ice. She didn't care. She diced to push him further. She was beyond caring for people feelings that didn't give a time of day about hers.

"What?" she demanded. "Don't look at me like I'm some sort of insensitive bitch, we all know he'd rather be elsewhere and God forbid we hold him back for three days. Josh can't last three more days, ignore the fact that we've been touring for the last four months, no, three days is just too much for him to handle. Josh the door is right there," she said pointing towards the door. "I can order a taxi to the airport, just say the words Josh. I'd hate to keep you back from your precious Jenna." As soon as those words came out of her mouth Hayley regretted them. She knew how she looks, this time she cared. She didn't want to appear as if she'd been jealous, even though she was. She knew how she looked and she needed to escape from their eyes. The way they looked at her made her feel as if she was on display.

"If you'll excuse me, I need some air." She'd become quite worked up in her little rant. Slowly, with her head held high she exited to the stuffy room. She'd go look for a studio there before going to London. Living in Clitheroe it was really hard to find a studio. The only available was the local radio station and that wasn't for hire.

BPOV

I felt like crying. I held it together, I couldn't afford a breakdown right now, and first and foremost I needed to find my children, saying find would be the wrong term. I knew where they were, I just didn't want to go there. They were getting too attached to the Cullens for my liking. Emma especially, she and Alice were going hopping this weekend. She'd asked my permission, out of politeness of course, she was 49, she didn't need to but I appreciated that she did so anyways. I understand they have a right I guess, they were family but Emma didn't know that. Still, I was afraid things may be said that aren't meant to.

I had never been so nervous in my life. I stood on the door step of an authentic looking house. It fit right into the small, old English town. A petite woman, with caramel coloured hair opened the big, wooden black door with a dish towel in her hands. The welcoming smile on her face faltered when she saw who was stood on her door step it was then I realised that had never actually seen Bella since the night of her 18th birthday. They had seen Hayley and Katy but had never actually seen her. It appeared Esme was lost for words so Bella took it upon herself to speak first.

"Hi," I'd said, feeling stupid. "Are Emma and Aidan here?"

"Yes, they're eating lunch then I believe Alice and Emma are going shopping afterwards. Would to come in?" she asked. Her tone was hopeful although I'd suspected that she expected her to decline. I was about to politely dos out I couldn't ask Aidan to come to the door just because I wouldn't go in so I stepped in, standing beside Esme. Quietly examining my surroundings. It was exactly what you'd expect from looking it from outside. There were wooden beams hanging from the ceilings, a few family pictures of the walls. "You have a very nice house," I said I had to say that, regardless of the fact that it was true.

"Thank you, dear," she said, her tone motherly. It was familiar, I hadn't realised I'd missed until now. I followed into the dining where I found Emma and Aidan sat down digging in to meal which I recalled to be Roast Lamb with all the roast potatoes and trimmings. I suddenly felt guilty. I'd got so caught up in the petty arguments with Josh I hadn't had a chance to prepare healthy meals for her children. She appreciated that Esme had taken the time to.

"You didn't have to go to so much trouble y'know? This one is getting chubby anyways." I said making sure to add a light teasing tone to my voice as she gently ran my fingers through my son's hair.

"Hey!" he protested whilst Emma, Esme and I giggled.

"It was no bother, really, I didn't even make it; Edward did. He said he wanted to see if his culinary skills are still intact." I desperately tried to control my flinch when she said that, I don't know if I was successful in doing so.

"Right," I said, hoping my tone said no more of the subject would be discussed. "Well, the reason I came here was to say, or rather ask if you two," I jerked my heads towards my littluns, "would be OK for four, five max on your own."

"Thought you had three dates booked?" Aidan asked his attention on the massive of potatoes he was shovelling onto his plate. I was glad to see he had not taken my comment to heart but light heartedly.

"Yes but we need a studio for roughly two days and there isn't one within miles of this place so we thought it'd be easier just to do it London so we can be there for the concerts too."

"We have one." A voice said. I desperately wanted to turn and run into her arms. I had missed Alice the most above all of the Cullens but I had to reminds myself that we were no longer friends like we were when was human.

"One what?" I asked, turning to face her although I was pretty sure I knew what she meant.

"A studio, Emmett was dead set on becoming famous when we first moved here, he was going to start a rock band and become a legend. His dream lasted for three days until he failed to find bands with the right 'mojo' to be in his band. He did, however get a full studio before giving up. You could use it. That is if you want to."

"Please." Was my only reply.

We set up to meet the next day, arranging we'd use it for two days. They hadn't told me how much they'd be charging though; I guess we'd discuss that later. Alice had invited me shopping with her and Emma but I politely declined much to her disappointment. I couldn't afford to start playing happy family with any of them once again.

I bid them farewell before making a hasty exit.

Finally! Started this on paper last night then started typing it. Thought I'd give you a few chapters before I went away for my mini holiday. Going to WYD in Spain so any of my wonderful readers are there / were there give me a shout out. Love you. Lease review.

Peace, Love and Empathy

~Arnoldis~