Sorry for the long hiatus, not a great comeback though. Many apologies.

The moment I entered, I knew why Chairman had been so adamant that I accompany him. Her scent attacked me from the entrance itself. Oh God! Exactly like last night, the smell perforated through the air, as if they were all coming only towards me, disobeying the laws of physics. I chewed my lip, biting down the hunger threatening to resurface. I hadn't fed in months, the last time out of desperation I stole from the hospital's blood bank. And now, my favorite nectar was in the same building as me, and I was drawn like bees to honey.

Chairman and Yagari walked in front while Kaito walked next to me. My steps grew more and more eager heading towards her, my heart sank deeper and deeper, my mind became more and more out of focus. Wanting to run away and run to her, wanting to drink from her, wanting her fingers on my face and over my back, wanting her to want me as badly as I desired her. My thoughts grew darker and I stopped walking. I couldn't covet her. I mustn't. But I wanted her so badly; it was gnawing at my stomach, squeezing my chest so tightly I couldn't breathe.

Kaito turned to look at me. "You okay?"
"Yeah."
"Not looking too good."
"I'm fine." So I had to continue walking, because my part in this play was not over yet.

I smelled him approaching. I was more acute to his scent than I was to Kaname's, even though Kaname was standing beside me. I felt Kaname's eyes staring at me. I knew he could smell Zero, and I knew that was why his hand gripped me tighter than ever. I gave him a wane smile, the best I could muster. Why would Chairman bring him? Would Zero even enter my room? Would he worry about me? Would he take care of me like he used to?

I remember when he had injured himself. He was unable to move, confined to his bed. So I took it upon myself to nurse him back to health. This was when we were just neighbors. He had given me a glare that could burn this entire hospital down, but Chairman was so adamant, even giving me a set of house keys, that he had no choice. Unless he wanted to change the locks of his apartment, which I knew he wouldn't. So he laid down on the bed, trying hard to sleep while I made a mess of his kitchenette. Eventually, the clanging pots and pans got to him and he got up, leaning against the door. "Are you trying to nurse me or deafen me?"

He dragged himself around the kitchen area, making his own porridge. I spotted him clench occasionally, hand reaching for his chest where he had been injured. It was already painful and I only made things worse for him. When he left the pot there to bubble by itself, he seemed to lean against the counter for a while, steadying his own blurry head. I tried to touch him but he pushed me away and for a brief moment, his hand grazed mine. His hand was hot, burning hot. I told him so and he told me, "It's the pot you idiot." But he had been lying. He dragged himself back to his bed, every step more difficult than the last before crashing onto it. He pulled the covers over himself and turned his head to tell me. "Make sure it doesn't dry up."

I wet a cloth and attempted to sponge him with it. He flinched and yelled at me, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "Nothing! Nothing. You're burning up. I'm just… trying to cool you down..." He took the cloth from me, folded it and placed it on his forehead. "There, happy? Now go watch the fire."

And just like back then, right now I couldn't do a thing to help alleviate his pain. In fact, I made it worse. All I did was just drag him further along that dark tunnel to hell. God, if you're listening, let me suffer instead of him. Give him the happiness he deserves. Punish me instead. Inflict the pain on me instead. He doesn't deserve to hurt this way.

I saw him grip her hand tightly, wishing that hand was mine instead. The ache grew worse, and I had to do all I can to hold it in. I wished that the hand that holds hers was mine, the body she holds on to at night is mine, that the lips she kisses are mine. Instead, they are all Kaname's, they always have been. And it took every ounce of my strength to continue putting up with this charade.

"I have business elsewhere and due to her condition, the doctors have advised her to remain in the hospital for observation. So I would like to ask a favor from the association to take care of her while she is in your hospital." Kaname bowed his head graciously towards Chairman.

Kaname had business somewhere else so Yuki would remain in the hospital, under the care of Aidou and as the hospital was semi-owned by the Hunter-Assocation, he wanted to inform them blablabla. That was all good but I lost the point of me being here. "As a Pureblood, there are always threats on our life, even by our own kind, so placing Yuki under your care will prevent them from being executed. Your protection is greatly appreciated."

I stole a glance at her before quickly looking away. She was pale. I think she was this pale last night too, why hadn't I noticed? I mentally checked her for broken arms or bones to warrant her extended stay, but nothing. She always had the knack for bruising herself. Clumsy girl, I almost smiled to myself as I thought back to those times she would trip over and land on her bum, stand up and knock her head on a cabinet overhead, or something like that. She would smile and laugh it off, as if things like that were a daily occurrence (they were). And I would be her knight in shining armor, being there to catch her and shield her head or cushion her fall. I mentally yelled at Kaname for not being there.

I thought she would be safe with you and it turns out that your own kind is trying to kill her because of that? She would be better off with me then wouldn't she? Yeah, as if she would be safer with a Level D-fast-approaching-Level E-who-could-turn-on-her-any-minute-and-devour-her. Yeah, Kaname was the logical choice.

"I'll be back soon," he whispered gently to Yuki. He was gentle too. I was never this gentle to her. I never treated her like some breakable porcelain doll like he treats her. I never treated her like a princess like he treats her. But that was what she deserved, and that's probably why she would rather him than me.

Then he kissed her lips; a long, passionate kiss. The kind we used to have. I felt something in me snap, something else shatter and everything else breaks. For a moment, my mind switched off, probably my own internal defense preventing further damage to myself. For a moment, my whole world went dark, I couldn't see a thing, couldn't feel a thing. Mind-numbing pain spread throughout me. But all I could do was stand there stoically.

Kaname's kiss surprised everyone, including me. His lips claimed mine, I just allowed him to. I glanced at Zero and thought I saw a flicker of something in his eyes. But after that, he remained . I looked away, because I knew if I continued looking at him, I would push Kaname away and pull Zero to me. I'm so sorry to put you through this.

My mind was just starting to reboot. "Goodbye, Yuki. Be good, alright," Kaname kissed her forehead. Yuki just smiled at him and nodded. Kaname left. Chairman said something to Yuki. I'm not sure what. I don't even want to know right now. Leave, Zero. Leave now. Leave before you sink deeper.

So I mumbled some bullshit and excused myself. I wandered the corridors, my hand running along the walls. I don't know where I'm going; I don't know where I am. I just want to get away, because I knew I was about to break but I didn't want to break there. I stumbled into a room and sunk to the floor. My paralyzed chest started to unknot itself. I was starting to unravel. I remembered how it was supposed to have been, an entire new life. But now, I only wanted to get through this pain that was killing me here and now.

I reached over for a sachet, punctured it with my fangs and drank a stranger's blood.