Daryl spent the weekend in this apartment, drinking. He alternated between sleeping, which was generally fitful and restless, and watching television, although that basically consisted of his numbly staring at the television, paying little attention to the actual content on the screen. He didn't leave until Monday morning when he had sobered himself up enough to go to work – he knew he had to, knew he needed this job too much to mess it up. It was the only thing good he had in his life now, and he was going to do everything he could to keep it. He hadn't eaten anything all weekend, not since his dinner with Beth on Friday night. It wasn't that he didn't feel hungry – but he had no appetite and found it easy to ignore the physical hunger pains he experienced – they were much easier to ignore than the pain that was still radiating from Daryl's chest.

Daryl hadn't showered all weekend either, or even changed his clothes. He'd just sat around in the same white button down shirt and jeans that he'd worn out with Beth on Friday. It didn't really occur to him to change or shower, or do much else, for that matter – his mind was so preoccupied with what had happened with Beth that everything else just fell by the wayside. He was almost in a trance, so totally focused on his thoughts that everything outside of those walls didn't seem to exist.

But by Monday morning, he'd tried to snap himself out of it. This was ridiculous, he told himself, after sobering up and realizing that he'd been wallowing around all weekend, doing absolutely nothing but thinking about Beth. This was not his first disappointment in life – far from it, in fact, as almost everything in his life had ended in disappointment. He knew he'd gotten over those things before, and he'd get over this. He'd just have to force himself to stop thinking about her, about Beth, and to distract himself with other things. And he agreed, as he thought to himself, that's exactly what he would spend his week doing.

He showered and got himself ready for work. He cursed the fact that he had no food in his apartment, and definitely no coffee maker – but promised himself that he'd take care of that, and the list of other things he needed for his place, this evening when he got off of work. He was able to leave early enough, though, to stop and drive through McDonald's to get some coffee and a biscuit. He'd momentarily considered going to Signe's, which wasn't all that far from his job site, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Although it had been his favorite breakfast spot since he'd moved to the island months ago, now, all he could think about when he thought of the place was Beth – how he'd gone there to get them breakfast last Monday morning, resulting in Beth's emotional breakdown over her fears that he had left her without saying goodbye. And after he'd shown back up, and everything was alright between them again, he smiled thinking about the sheer volume of food that he'd bought for them – giving them enough breakfast to last for at least three days.

When Daryl realized he was smiling, thinking about Beth again, he cursed at himself under his breath. He'd promised himself that he was going to push her out of his mind. He knew that was the only way he could get his life back on track and move forward and be functional. He'd been thinking about Beth for the last 48 hours straight – and if he was honest with himself, for the entire week before – but he knew he needed to break that habit, put his mind on something else. But that was no easy task, especially when Daryl realized that he hadn't checked his phone since Friday, and pulled it out as he pulled his truck up to his job site, arriving about 10 minutes early. He clicked the phone display on and started to check for calls and missed messages while he quickly ate his breakfast. He found that he had a barrage of missed calls and text messages, and they were all from Beth. He shook his head, trying to shake the fluttering feeling that rose inside of him when he saw her name listed over and over in his call log, and then again among his texts. He thought about just ignoring those messages – he could just delete them without reading them and then try to not think about them again. But he couldn't. For some reason, he needed to know what they said.

So he opened them, one after another, from the first one she'd sent early on Saturday morning, to the last one she'd sent, just a few hours ago.

Saturday 6:56 AM

I'm so sorry. Please call me back.

Saturday 9:14 AM

Daryl, please… Let's talk about it.

Saturday 11:33 AM

Can you come down to the beach and talk to me? We can have lunch.

I need to talk to you.

Saturday 1:02 PM

I can't take this. Please don't just ignore me.

Saturday 1:30 PM

Will you at least let me know you're okay?

Saturday 6:03 PM

Daryl?

Saturday 10:27 PM

Daryl?

Yesterday 3:42 AM

Don't shut me out Daryl. Please talk to me about this.

Yesterday 9:09 AM

Daryl? Please?

Yesterday 5:57 PM

Can we meet for dinner and talk?

Yesterday 11:49 PM

Why are you doing this?

Today 5:17 AM

You win. I'm giving up on trying to get you to talk to me. You obviously don't care about doing that. I know I hurt you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it… you have to know that I'd never hurt you on purpose. I'm hurting too. I care about you. I just want to talk to you… know you're okay. I can't keep doing this though – this is a dozen messages now, and I'm embarrassed that I didn't stop before now. Your silence tells me what I need to know, though, and I guess it's all for the best. You know where to find me, just in case.

Daryl was alright until he got to the last message, which she'd sent not even two hours before. The first ones sounded concerned, a bit frustrated, but hopeful. Even as recently as last night, she'd asked him about meeting her, wanting to get together for dinner to talk about things. And there had been missed phone calls mixed in around many of them. But with the last two messages there was a change – there were no more phone calls after dinner time last night and the tone of them was completely different. And that last message – it made tears come to Daryl's eyes to read it.

'I'm giving up…'

'I can't keep doing this…'

'I'm embarrassed…'

He didn't know what to think about that message. It seemed like her version of goodbye, didn't it? Yes, she'd left the door open a little bit at the very end, but that seemed like something she'd say anyway, whether she really meant it or not. What tore Daryl's heart out, though, was the statement right before that…

'Your silence tells me what I need to know, though, and I guess it's all for the best…'

Daryl didn't know how he would have responded to Beth if he'd gotten her messages or phone calls earlier. But he couldn't imagine that he would have ignored her – he was upset, but he didn't know if he could deny her in that way, he cared about her way too much for that. Why hadn't he checked his phone? Why had he just let himself wallow around in his misery, never even thinking that Beth could be trying to contact him? He had gotten so far into his own mind, convincing himself that she wouldn't want to talk to him, that he'd crossed a line with her that she'd never want to come back from. But now he wasn't sure what she wanted.

And two whole days later and in the clear light of the Monday morning sun, he wasn't sure what to do. Was Beth telling him that it was all over? Everything? He'd assumed that, and had prepared himself for that – he'd found in his life that it was generally best to assume the worst case scenario – that way, you were prepared for it, and pleasantly surprised if something else happened. And he'd definitely done that with Beth, assuming the absolute worst, but hanging on to a small glimmer of hope that he was wrong. He wanted to be with her, more than anything, but he'd solaced himself that he wouldn't be able to be – but he'd hoped that maybe she'd still, somehow, want to salvage their friendship. And, it would be hard for him, painful even, but he'd fight through it, just to be able to spend time with her, be close to her again. He'd suppressed that hope, but now it was bubbling up again.

He knew one thing, though – he had to get through this day at work. He had to focus, had to pay close attention to what was happening around him. A construction site was no place for a foreman that's mind was a million miles away, or really only a few miles away, at the home of a petite blonde. His lack of attention could result in costly mistakes and people could be hurt, or worse. So Daryl stashed his phone in his pants pocket, after making sure that the ringer was turned on and up high – he wanted to be able to hear it ringing if Beth happened to call. This time, he would answer, he told himself. And, finishing his large cup of coffee, he climbed out of his truck, heading over to his crew that had already started congregating, anxious to discuss plans and work assignments for the day. He could do this, Daryl told himself, he could make it through this day and keep his mind off of Beth.

Daryl climbed back into his truck at the end of the day. It had been especially hot today and he was feeling the effects of the heat, his weekend of heavy drinking, as well as his empty stomach. He hadn't thought about bringing something for lunch – Beth had spoiled him by packing his lunch every day last week, and this morning he hadn't had anything at home to bring with him anyway, even if it had crossed his mind.

He'd planned to go back to Walmart after work, but he felt the need to eat and shower first. He was sure he smelled terribly, after a day of hard work in the 100 degree South Carolina heat, and his stomach seemed angry at his neglect over the last few days, growling and clenching in pain. He altered his plans, now intending to stop on the way home for something to eat, going home to shower quickly, and then heading back out, list in hand, to shop for the things he needed for his apartment as well as a few groceries. He dreaded the shopping trip – he wasn't much of a shopper to begin with, but this was also something that he'd planned to do with Beth. And with her, he'd looked forward to it, just like any other plans they made to spend time together. He was sure that she could have invited him over to watch paint dry and he would have been excited. But now, he'd have to do this alone. And he'd have to use that list that she'd made, with her adorable handwriting and funny notes, and all those extra things she'd added onto the list "just because". He told himself that he'd mark those things off, he didn't need them, and he certainly wasn't going to buy them now.

Daryl thought quickly about what he wanted for dinner. He thought seriously about calling an order into Char-Bar, a local hamburger place that he loved – but then he thought better of it, thinking about the night last week that he'd picked up food there for he and Beth, taking it home for them as had become their ritual. He knew he needed to get over those thoughts of her, letting them influence him so significantly – he couldn't alter his entire life, avoiding certain places and activities, all because he'd done them with her, because they reminded him of her. Tonight, though, he would let himself indulge in that type of ridiculousness – so he decided to just go through a drive-thru window on the way home. He just needed a quick bite, anyway, he'd reasoned, as he didn't want to delay his Walmart trip too long. The sooner he got that behind him, the better, he thought.

Daryl walked into Walmart like a man on a mission. He knew he should be excited about shopping for things for his new apartment, at least that's what Beth had told him before. She had certainly been excited about doing it. But he wasn't. Not under these circumstances, not without her. He just wanted to get in and get out, and get the groceries and the few other necessities that he needed to make things more functional for his new home. His new home, he questioned? He didn't see this apartment as a home at all – just a place to lay his head at night and to house the few material possessions that he owned. He'd felt at home with Beth, felt a real sense of belonging and overall peace that he wasn't sure he'd ever felt before in his life. He knew he needed to readjust his thinking though – that reality was gone now and his feelings needed to catch up.

Everything about this trip made him think about Beth and it was starting to drive him absolutely crazy – he'd promised himself this morning that he would keep thoughts of her out of his mind. But not only had he not been able to do that, it seemed that as the day went on, he only thought about her more and more. And he was almost at a breaking point. He hoped that this trip was his last real connection to her – the last thing they'd planned to do together – and that after this was over, he could make a clean break from her, at least in his mind. He still wasn't sure that's what he really wanted – but his phone had been eerily silent today. Beth's last message to him from early this morning seemed to truly be her last. And Daryl was at a loss for what, if anything, to do about it. So far, he'd done nothing, choosing not to respond to her, trying to give himself some space for closure – and feeling like that was probably for the best for her too.

Hadn't he known since the first day they met that he shouldn't get his hopes up about things with her? He'd told himself then that she was far too good for him – and not only had that turned out to be very true, but he'd crossed a boundary he shouldn't have with her and there was no going back now. He'd suggested something to her that had obviously repulsed her – and in retrospect he should have known better, he told himself – Beth was so sweet and pure seeming, maybe that sort of thing wasn't appropriate to consider with a girl like that. He'd never been with someone like that before, someone who seemed so innocent and just genuinely good – and thinking back on Friday night's events he hated himself for the direction he'd tried to take things. He blamed himself over and over again for what had happened between them. He'd told her to tell him exactly what she wanted and it was deviating from what she'd asked for that had caused such a negative reaction from her. His motives in it had been good, he thought – he had wanted to please her, give her as much pleasure as possible. But he'd gotten himself into trouble that way, and then, to make things so much worse, instead of staying there with her, talking it over and working it out, he'd just left, like a spoiled child who hadn't gotten their way. And he couldn't imagine how that had looked to Beth, or how it had felt to her – as if Daryl only wanted her physically and that if he couldn't have that he wasn't really interested. That thought made Daryl sick to his stomach.

As he moved through the store, he kept consulting his list, evaluating it over and over. He'd never been into this particular store, other than his brief trip there early on Saturday morning. He wasn't familiar with the layout and didn't know where anything was. He groaned to himself at the thought of having to go aisle by aisle. This trip may take a lot longer than he'd hoped, he thought to himself. What else did he have to do though, he thought? Go home and sit and think about Beth? He hated that thought and so, as he was finishing up his shopping, nearing the back of the store, he picked up two more cases of beer, just like he had the last time he'd been here. He knew he wouldn't drink them as quickly as he had the last two, at least he tried to convince himself of that, but he felt like he'd need something to take the edge off of the day, and to help him continue to numb the pain he kept trying to suppress, but that still remained just under the surface of every thought and action.

Daryl approached the cash register area, with his buggy that, to his surprise, was filled to the brim with stuff he'd decided was "necessary". He'd ended up picking up a few of the things Beth had suggested that he'd initially told her he didn't need. But after walking through the store, and continuing to think about her, he'd decided he did "need" some of those things after all. Daryl was ready for this nightmare trip to be over, ready to have this behind him. Everything he'd looked at, every item he'd needed to buy, somehow reminded him of Beth. She'd made these adorable notes on his shopping list, with details or descriptions of things. It had been maddening to look at them at first, just another reminder of how his mind couldn't allow him to escape her – but he was eventually glad that they were there – she had noted a lot of details that he hadn't noticed and wouldn't have known about. Without her little notes, he wouldn't have known what size sheets to buy for his bed or that he needed to buy coffee filters to use with a coffee maker. She'd also noted the paint colors throughout the rooms of his apartment – with little suggestions of colors that might coordinate well. Daryl didn't care much about coordinating things, but knowing that Beth had thought so much about his apartment, wanting to be part of making it a nice home for him, had made him subconsciously smile. All this, though, just served as a painful reminder to him of how much she had done for him – little things that could have easily gone unnoticed – and he knew he would miss those little things, those little actions that she did because she cared and because she was just so unbelievably sweet that she couldn't help herself from wanting to do them for him.

He was all of a sudden very glad that the store wasn't very crowded tonight. He guessed that Monday nights weren't big for shopping, for vacationers or locals, and made a mental note to remember that for the future. He hated waiting in long checkout lines and would do almost anything to avoid it. He turned his cart slowly into a line where there was only one person in front of him – the cashier was already ringing up the woman's few items. Daryl didn't notice her at first, and her back remained to him, so she didn't notice him either. He was too lost in his own mind and busying himself with piling the items from his cart onto the conveyor belt. He did notice, though, the strange mix of things the woman was purchasing – a couple of women's magazine, two pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, two bottles of red wine, a huge tube of sunscreen, a multi-pack of chapstick, and some Kleenex. He couldn't help but wonder about that combination of items – some of the things, especially coupled together, almost seemed sad, like they'd belonged to someone that was having a hard time coping with something.

Daryl was still lost in his own thoughts and as he finished placing all of his items on the belt, he moved back around his cart to push it forward. He'd noticed that the woman was now paying the cashier. Her back was still mostly to him and he couldn't see her face, but Daryl's breath caught in his chest as he looked at her more carefully now. She was a tiny waif of a girl, with long blonde hair, and she wearing an over-sized red athletic style jacket that met her bare legs about mid thigh. At first Daryl wasn't sure if his mind was playing tricks on him. It couldn't be her, right? He moved forward slowly, stepping around his cart and reaching his arm out to grab onto the woman's arm.

"Beth?"