"Beth? Are you okay? Oh God, I was so worried… I've been trying to call and call and you weren't answering… I was…" Zach said nervously as he answered his phone. But he was abruptly cut off by the person on the other end.
"Why the HELL are you calling Beth 17 times in row? Huh? What's going on, man? What happened to her? What did YOU do to her?" Daryl barked into Beth's phone, gritting his teeth in anger. He was mad, so incredibly angry, and he couldn't control himself.
Beth had told Daryl a lot about Zach – after their brief and awkward encounter at the café the Sunday that Daryl and Beth met, Daryl had asked more about Zach, especially more about how their conversation had gone after Daryl had stormed out. At first, Daryl had been fearful of Beth getting into trouble because of their long lunch – he'd felt ashamed that he'd lost track of time and that he'd allowed Beth to put herself into that situation in the first place. But Beth had assured him that Zach had always been forgiving of her mistakes, giving her a lot of grace when she was late or something else happened. Beth had told Daryl that she attributed part of this to Zach's apparent feelings towards her – she was honest with Daryl about Zach's persistence towards her. Since the first moment they'd met, years ago, Beth told Daryl, he'd expressed interest in her, never taking to heart all the times she'd told him she wasn't interested in dating him. She'd thought he was harmless, and he'd always been forgiving of her as an employee – so she'd overlooked some of his aggressiveness towards her. And while Daryl was glad that he hadn't gotten Beth into trouble with her boss, he hadn't had a good feeling about it. He had seen the way that Zach's eyes blazed when he'd seen him and Beth together in the café and he knew that there was something more behind his emotions than just a boss who was frustrated with his employee. It also hadn't helped that Beth mentioned to Daryl that on a couple of different occasions during the week when he stayed at her house, Zach warned her repeatedly about "guys like him". Beth said that she hadn't given Zach many details about things with Daryl, just telling him that she was "helping him through a difficult time" and trying to convince him that he didn't need to concern himself with it all. But Zach hadn't really believed her, at least it didn't seem so based on the things he'd said to Beth. Daryl had warned Beth too, casually but seriously, to try to keep as much distance as possible from Zach. But he'd guessed that she wouldn't listen – she seemed to always want to see the best in others, to see the good and ignore all the bad. And while he loved that about her, thinking specifically about how he'd seen all the good in him, he hated to think that she was too naïve to recognize someone that might be a danger to her.
And when Daryl saw Zach's name listed over and over again on Beth's call log, he couldn't help but think about all of those bad feelings he'd had about him and jump to the worst possible conclusion. Zach had finally taken things too far, hadn't he? That would explain her physical appearance, and definitely the state of shock that she was in. Daryl knew that state all too well – he'd experienced a lot of physical abuse and knew what it was like to just want to sink into yourself, to lose yourself in your own mind, having no ability or desire to engage with those outside of yourself. He feared that was what was happening right now to Beth and he couldn't stand the thought of that disgusting sleaze ball Zach trying to put his hands on Beth.
So Daryl had done what he thought he needed to in the moment – he'd pushed the send button. He wanted to talk to Zach, he needed to confront him about this situation with Beth.
"What? What'd you say, man? What did I do to her? Nothing! What… what makes you say that? Did she say something…?" Zach said, his voice snapping Daryl back to the reality of the moment. Daryl couldn't help but think that Zach sounded nervous, and that only fueled his anger.
"She didn't have to, you jackass! I saw what she looked like – I'm here with her RIGHT NOW!" Daryl replied. His anger was building – he knew he should control it, he was even afraid Beth might be able to hear him from all the way upstairs, but he didn't care.
"Whoa man… Calm down. Just listen to me..." Zach pleaded. He was trying to bring the conversation down to a normal level, but Daryl didn't care.
"Why should I listen to YOU?" Daryl roared. Daryl was outraged at Zach's audacity to even ask him to talk to him. Why was he trying to call Beth so frantically, Daryl wondered? Was he trying to explain away whatever it was that had happened earlier? Daryl thought that was likely.
"Something happened today… Yeah… But, it's not what you think man…" Zach started to try to explain. He's going to admit it, Daryl thought to himself. In that moment, his heart was pounding so quickly that he'd lost all sense of rationality or control – he needed to know what had happened. He needed to hear Zach admit to hurting Beth.
"Oh? It's NOT what I think?" Daryl answered. "You tell me what it was then, huh?" Daryl hated Zach, didn't really care what he had to say. But he needed to help Beth – so whatever Zach could tell him, he'd take it.
"A little girl died! She drowned!" Zach blurted out, a little bit forcefully.
Daryl was suddenly quiet. He couldn't breathe. His head was swimming. He hadn't thought of that, hadn't thought that Beth's state could have something to do with that kind of a tragedy, but it all made sense now. He knew how much Beth loved her job, and how seriously she took it. She was always telling him how she needed to focus on what was going on around her, and how she couldn't get distracted, that someone's life could be in danger if she didn't pay attention the way she was supposed to. And Beth loved children, maybe more than anyone he'd ever met. She was dedicating her life to teach them music and when you talked to her, you could tell how much she looked forward to actually getting into the classroom and working with them. That had been one of her biggest points of excitement for the upcoming school year – she would be completing her student teaching requirements, so she'd actually be in an actual school classroom working with actual students.
"What?" Daryl asked. That was all he could muster. His head was swirling with too many thoughts – and he was trying to show his mind down.
"Yeah… Uh… It happened late this afternoon. She was a little ways from Beth's chair… technically not even in Beth's zone area, but… well… no one else was there. Beth tried to save her, but, there was a rip current. She… uh… the little girl… well… Beth couldn't get to her in time. By the time she'd pulled her out, she was already blue." Zach said.
It hit Daryl that this had obviously been a painful experience for Zach too. His words were labored and somewhat emotional. And Zach didn't seem like the kind of guy that got emotional over just anything. Daryl suddenly felt terrible – he had blamed Zach for hurting Beth, all because he'd had a bad feeling about the guy, because he wanted to have an answer for why Beth was hurting. And he wanted to be able to do something about it. He didn't even know Zach, he thought. He'd just decided that he didn't like him because he was trying to pursue Beth.
"Shit" Daryl said softly. It was all hitting him now, the full reality of the situation. He knew he needed to apologize. He couldn't believe that his mind had made such a massive jump, assuming something terrible about Zach.
"Yeah…" Zach responded. A few moments of silence passed them both by – it was obviously that neither one really knew what to say. But then Zach spoke again. "I mean, what the hell, man? Why you think automatically that I did something to her?" Zach asked. It was strange, Daryl thought, that all of a sudden, now, Zach was defensive, more forward and aggressive.
"Shit" Daryl said again. He hated this. He hated what he'd said to Zach. And now he hated that he was standing here, in Beth's kitchen, talking to Zach instead of upstairs with Beth. "Man, listen… I'm sorry… I'm just all hyped up. I shoudn't have said any of that stuff." Daryl said apologetically. He wanted to explain himself, but he didn't know how. And right now his top priority was getting back to Beth.
"Listen, man…" Zach started. "I get it. You like her…".
"No one else was there?" Daryl interrupted, not even listening to Zach's words. "What did you mean when you said that? That no one else was there?" Daryl asked. He didn't know why those words had popped up his mind all of a sudden.
"Well… the other lifeguard that was in that zone was… not there." Zach said nervously.
"Not there?" Daryl asked. "Why weren't they there?"
"It's a long story, I guess…" Zach said and Daryl could tell that there was a lot more to the story, a lot more that Zach wasn't telling him.
"Well you better find the short version of it and get on with telling me!" Daryl replied. He was getting heated again, he could feel the anger rising up in his face. He needed to know the whole story, needed to know what had really happened.
"Well… that other lifeguard… Kelsey… She was over with me when it happened… She was… getting some supplies… talking to me about her schedule and stuff" Zach said.
"About her SCHEDULE? And STUFF?" Daryl erupted in response. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew the implications of what Zach was saying – this other lifeguard was over flirting with Zach, or Zach was flirting with her, when she should have been at her lifeguard chair doing her job. "You've got to be kidding me, man! What the hell were you thinking about? Aren't you the one in charge of everyone? Making sure everyone is where they're supposed to be?".
"Listen… I… I didn't mean for that to happen. Obviously. I wouldn't have done it if I thought something like… something like that would happen." Zach said.
"No kidding! Too late for that now though, don't ya think?" Daryl responded. He was furious. Because of Zach's negligence, and this other girl, Kelsey's, stupidity, Beth had been left to deal with the girl in the ocean. A dead girl. Daryl couldn't even imagine.
Daryl didn't know what else to say. And neither did Zach, obviously. Daryl was hoping he could end this conversation, though. He needed to get upstairs to Beth. He knew now what was causing her to be so withdrawn, and he needed to do whatever he could to pull her out of it.
"Look… This wasn't anybody's fault. It just happened. It happens sometimes, I guess." Zach offered.
"It just HAPPENS sometimes?" Daryl asked furiously. He couldn't believe Zach, couldn't believe that he was trying to turn this around. How could he say that it just "happens sometimes"? Had he told that little dead girl's family that?
"I just mean… I don't want Beth to think it's her fault, is all" Zach said, a little too matter-of-factly for Daryl's liking.
"OH! I'm going to make sure she knows ALL about what happened to put her in that situation in the first place!" Daryl said. But Daryl's heart ached – he knew all too well, as soon as he said that, what the reality was for Beth – she was too kind-hearted, too compassionate and emotional to ever think it was anyone's fault but her own. She would always blame herself for this, always think there was something else she could have done to save that little girl. She would never get over this, Daryl thought. And the thought of her always carrying that kind of emotional baggage around, probably for the rest of her life, broke Daryl's heart. He wanted to run to Beth and hold her. He wanted to put her back together, piece by piece, just like she'd done for him. But he knew that was easier hoped for than actually accomplished. One thing was for sure, he thought, standing here and talking to Zach wasn't going to do Beth any good.
And Zach was silent. It was apparent to Daryl that he didn't know what to say. And that was okay – he just needed to end this call. He had to get back upstairs. Daryl took some deep breaths – he needed to calm down, needed to get himself together before he went back upstairs. He was hurting now, hurting for Beth, even more so than before this conversation with Zach. It had been hard for him not knowing what had happened to her, not knowing what to say or do to help. And Daryl had thought that once he figured out what had caused Beth's mental blackout that he could help her fix it. But he didn't expect something like this. Sure, if someone had hurt her, he could put them in their place – he was prepared to beat up and threaten anyone he had to in order to keep Beth safe. But an emotional scar like this one, he wasn't quite sure how to fix. How did he help her get over something like this?
"Look, Zach… You tell yourself what you've got to to help you cope with this. But I'm just trying to do right by Beth… Just trying to make sure she's okay. She ain't okay right now though, man… not by a long shot" Daryl said. He hoped Zach would understand – he hoped he'd realize the situation and just drop everything.
But Zach remained silent.
"I… uh… I gotta go check on Beth" Daryl started to explain to Zach again. "I left her in the bath tub and I need to make sure she's still okay…" Daryl was trying to get off of the phone, out of this conversation, and back to Beth. But Zach obviously wasn't done with their conversation.
"In the bath tub, huh?" Zach said, almost laughing. "I don't know why you think she's gonna get with you, old man. I mean… a girl like Beth, she can have anybody she wants. Yeah, she's kinda innocent and all… But a lot of guys love that. And she's got her choice of anybody around here, that's for sure. Why the hell do you think she would ever wanna be with you?" Zach said boldly, continuing to chuckle at his comments to Daryl.
Daryl just tried to focus, tried to breathe normally. He wanted to scream at Zach, wanted to tell him how wrong he was, that he didn't know anything about he and Beth's relationship. He just wanted to get off the phone, though. He knew Zach was trying to bait him into having a big huge reaction to what he'd said – and for once in his life, Daryl told himself that he wouldn't fall for that, that he'd just let it go.
He had tried to be nice to Zach. He'd even apologized to him for accusing him of hurting. And he had felt bad – Zach had seemed emotional over what had happened today. But now, he wasn't really sorry – he'd been right about Zach. No, he hadn't physically laid his hands on Beth, but he'd been the one that was negligent in the situation, putting Beth into a bad situation and, inevitably, costing a child her life. And his sorrow seemed to be more centered around his anxiety over being the one to blame for the whole thing, not in the terrible tragedy that had occurred. He wasn't sure if Zach really cared at all about that little girl's life – he seemed to care much more about himself and the repercussions of anyone thinking he'd been responsible for the girl's death. In that moment, Daryl wanted to just reach through the phone – he'd have given almost anything to be able to Zach in the face, although he knew he'd never be able to stop himself at that. He wanted to hurt him just as bad as Beth had been hurt by what happened. He knew that wouldn't help Beth resolve her pain, though. He wished he knew what would. He knew he hadn't known her all that long, but he felt like he knew her pretty well. And the Beth he knew would take a long time to recover from something this devastating.
He thought suddenly back to Beth in the tub and all of a sudden he started to panic. How long had it been since he had left her there? Should he have even left her there alone to begin with? She wouldn't do something stupid to herself, right? He couldn't imagine she would, but he also never thought he'd see her in such a hopeless state as the one that he'd found her in at Walmart. Beth was so strong, so resilient, and so full of life – but the Beth that he'd brought home was broken and battered, both physically and emotionally and he worried about what it would take, and how long it would take, to get her out of that state. Daryl could have kicked himself – Beth had seen a little girl drown today, and Daryl had left her alone in a huge tub of water in some sort of unresponsive state. And in that moment, everything stood still – he wasn't thinking about Zach's attempt to provoke him, or his disbelief in how out of touch Zach was with reality - all he could think was that his feet couldn't move fast enough up those stairs into that room to get to Beth.