AN: Pardon misspellings and errors. Really weird trying to type without my thumb as it's bandaged like a bad joke from cutting part off.
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Camping with Anko. It starts off fairly normal, you head out, following like lost little ducks behind the sadistically quaking momma bird and ends with several plucked feathers and blood. Nothing that surprising or unusual. Right.
Okay, really it goes that she comes and kidnaps you at random intervals throughout the day and you are expected to avoid her as long as possible; and also have any gear you think you may need on your person. So the morning I knew I was going 'camping' for our survival training I packed a few essentials in a bag, firmly strapped that to myself in both regular physical methods and a good dose of chakra, and took off. There were also a number of various items hidden in the folds of my clothing, the ninja pouches at my leg and hips, and of course the knife Ten-Ten gave me on my belt.
Usually my Inuzuka and Aburame teammates traded off whom was the last of us to be caught because they each had specialized warning systems in their canine and insect companions respectively. Being that I had no such early warning devices bonded to me in love and chakra I was either the first or second found and second place in this instance was a good thing! Anko took it easiest on the second of her team that she'd scoop up. On that warning system, despite my crazy crazy chakra? I had never thought to try chakra sensing only because it's like trying to make out a single voice in a loud rock concert when everyone is singing. You just cannot. The noise. Chakra is everywhere, imagine if every living thing you pass by was singing in some specific note, occasionally warbling and raising either higher or lower or just a random shift in the tone altogether. Now imagine that with everything audible even from a distance, the stronger they were the louder?
It was like a drunken college party that was crashed by several rival factions and everyone just got Stupid. So I half suspected it wasn't so much chakra sensitivity that rendered one a sensor but the ability to selectively focus much like a blood hound or those crazy kids that could excel in cramming for exams and then forget everything after they turned in their tests. Aware, note, forget. A way to prevent mental overloading. There are some 'mentally different' kids I had known and befriended back in the day that if they had made it here with me from Before would have been chakra sensors in a way that may have made Danzou faint from sheer adoration. Well, assuming they saw any reason to listen to him because the ones I knew were s-a-s-s-y!
However, I had the Anko as my sensei so I was also trying to study if there was any way to impart some of the bizarre ideas I had from my prior life into chakra capable methods. What I really wanted was a sort of tracking bug and I meant in technology not alive, but unlike the kikaichu my Aburame would use or the scent trails my Inuzuka -my teammates therefore they are mine- both could be removed or washed off. I wanted something chakra based. I wanted something that would let me utilize that fearsome innate ability of humans where we could run down our prey from our earliest evolutionary days until they collapsed. Terminator style.
Ideally something that only I could use but where once I slapped you with it I could find that little scrap of chakra and track someone. Even better if I could use it on inanimate objects. Because frankly if I could I never again would wonder where my left sock kept vanishing. Tabi socks. They really have a left and a right because the gap for the big toe and the rest of them and I can never find one! I have ten right foot socks and only two for my left!
While distracted with my musings by the way, I found myself shoved into a large sack, backpack and all and face to face with a small black snake. Well. This was sadly, normal.
"Hello General." I had taken to calling Anko's favorite summons by rank names and it seemed to entertain the hissing sadists to no end. Go figure.
"Hello small one. If you try to escape I will bite you. If you do not, I may bite you regardless." Came the amused hiss. Anko didn't usually summon the talking ones but she'd learn I tended to listen to them. I think it half amused and half perturbed her that I was completely chill talking to a snake. Hey, I was so tempted to call one Lord Voldemort, she had no idea. Or Nagini. Or I could venture into the Jungle book territory and call one Kaa. Really, general was the tamest of the terms I could use. I had been a geek, a nerd, and a completely random fan girl back in the day. Some point in the future I was putting all that to use in scary genjutsu's but I had to have time to be mentally scarred and damaged enough by missions and battles that it wouldn't send up any flags.
The very fact I was even thinking such as justification was so messed up I tried not to ruminate on it.
"Right, and your bite is lethal?" I mumbled to the General who bobbed his little head. With a sigh I resigned myself to being cramped and smelling a bag that clearly had held Dai and his pups. "Well, okay. I'll stay put and pray for your benevolence."
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I wasn't exactly startled at being dumped out of the bag in a way that had the not at all large snake poofing away to save his skin, nor at seeing a pair of sandals in front of my face. Looking up and just sort of, flopping, backwards, I waved casually at one of our 'boss' guys that we didn't see that often. He was the sort of forgettable looks like several other people you may have just passed sort. Mind you, for a ninja? That was one heck of a fantastic problem to have. Indeed those who effortlessly blended with features you swore you knew but not as anything that stood out were generally far better for special tasks.
Short dark hair, dark eyes, pale, -you know the same coloring as most of the population but for some reason if they could turn their eyes into red pin wheels of overcompensation they were supposedly god like in looks so go figure- as Boss waved at me in turn.
"You're the second brat. The first is passed out and his pups are asleep." In other words Dai probably let his mouth take control and annoyed him. This particular Boss was a nice guy, but he liked the whole 'subordinates listen and not talk back' to such an extent I think early years Kakashi before the whole eye fiasco would have approved. Yes. That much of a stickler. So I just nodded and pulled my legs into the formal sitting position to wait. Either he'd tell me what was next as clearly Anko was now off hunting my last teammate down, or not. We learned the first time not to wander off. Anko could be brutal in her punishments and her summons certainly loved to assist her. I narrowly escaped the bites with actual venom because I called them things like General and Captain and they freaking preened over it. Come on the big boss snake demands sacrifice? You got some seriously megalomaniac summons here so pandering to their egos is the sanest thing you can do. So I got dry bites. Still hurt, not killing me.
After a long pause the Boss nods and grunts. "Stand. We'll see if you can wield a staff better this time."
Note that Tobirama has at least occasionally the good sense to freeze my tongue so instead of being a smart alec I just do as bidden and grab the piece of wood hurled at my delicate skull. Not like this is going to be the last time Anko finally returns to see her team covered in bruises from the care of those she left us to. It's called training.
Maybe there's something wrong with me that at this point it is so normal I actually expect such treatment.
But yes, staff work. Not quite as exacting as my various taijutsu I am used to, it feels a little odd but not as badly as a sword would. To be honest I'm still trying to figure out what it is my branch of the Yue clan fighting feels like it is supposed to have to rely on. With my luck it's going to be something so lame like a club.
Still, free training. I would be neither Lee nor Yue clan in my heritage if that didn't excite me.
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Anko eventually returned with a laugh and puff of smoke striking a pose. As usual Sei-san (still no idea on their gender and it's none of my business if they seem happy to remain without a defined one) eluded our crazy sensei the longest. Having the Kikaichu gave them quite the advantage no doubt. By that time Dai had also woken up and been roped into staff training while I gasped for air sprawled on the ground trying to feel my fingers. Only when Anko showed up did our Boss of the Bo as we were now calling him when he was not around, vanish into leaves.
"All right my little minion-spawns! Time to go camping!" Anko was practically cheering and each of us dutifully fell in line without saying anything. This Sei had shown us, in Aburame fashion, if you said nothing the talkative ones often filled in the silence for you. Handy, that. Seriously amazing they got it into our Inuzuka's skull that it was the best way to try and get information out of Anko.
It didn't take long for her to start off key singing either. "Camping~ with my little minion-spawns..going to leave their bodies to rot, their corpses will bloat..and none shall know~"
What? It's Anko-sensei. No details are being given so we know she's actually in a happy mood and can safely be ignored. It's when she starts describing methods of torture and death that one makes us lose our appetites so she can steal our food, or realize she's unhappy about something and it is best to start appeasing her. At least our sensei gives us such warnings, some never have a clue if they are even liked or hated by their teacher.
No, by the way, we aren't leaving Konoha to camp either. We don't need to. Maybe the village isn't as large as it should be though honestly living here I think it should be called a city because it is a lot bigger than anything I saw Before ever implied but it is a ninja village. We have tons of training grounds for every sort of terrain and training and that included ones for camping and survival exercises.
Also do keep in mind that Konoha hosted the Forest of Death, which was so large it could take a team days to traverse. Even if they did not run into any complications at full speed it would take at least a few hours to a day minimum so really the oddity that somehow -seals involved no doubt- there were a good dozen training grounds in Konoha that could eat up a few days worth of time was no suprise. They were entirely limited to the Jounin level and special Jounin however, and considering that our little Team 44 had long ago learned not to question our very plausible luck in the fact that Anko-sensei was willing to bring us inside. On one hand yes it was dangerous and terrifying and not at all what we were ready for. On the other hand? Yeah can you say real life experience?
Besides, Anko is not one to baby those whom can handle a situation. She'd step in if it got too bad but she also liked to cheerfully point out that was for death not maiming or crippling. So we aren't going into the Forest of Death. Yet. She's promised to do so for us after we do a C-rank.
I'm completely certain no one realizes she's half trying to kill us off.
I'm pretty sure I'm also not the only one on my team to realize that her half hearted death threats may just save our lives some day.
I am kind of starting to think she may like us more than think we're annoying.
Ninjas. Weirdly awesome.
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"Holy freaking Tobirama on a pogo stick that's purple...WHAT IS THAT!?"
Two things, one, Dai has no idea what a pogo stick is and he's gotten into the habit of swearing by Tobirama. I'm proud of that.
Two?
Anko sent us to get firewood while she napped and Sei set up the tents. This is not training ground 44. This is not the forest of death. I'm going to keep repeating that until I can believe it.
"Dai? RUN!"
It still has giant spiders. Centipedes are bad Spiders?
Why did it have to be spiders.
"NaaaaBWAHHAHA!" With Anko's shrill laughter the spider vanished and Dai and I fell to the ground in relief, twigs and sticks long since forgotten as we panted looking up into the leering face of our Sensei.
"You forgot to check for genjutsu traps, my little spawns."
"Sorry Anko-sensei." Came the two dutiful groans from Dai and myself as we attempted to get air in our lungs. We needed air, badly, because we know what comes next if you fail one of Anko's rules and checking for genjutsu frequently was one of those rules.
"Oh...you will be!"
For the record Dai can shriek really loud but his ninken are still loyal even if they have to have their ears bleeding worse than my own, as we scramble. You don't wait for Anko to say run, you just get going and clumsily start hiding your tracks for demented hide and seek. Mind it's just prolonging the inevitable and Dai and I ended up hanging upside down from a tree again while Sei and Anko prepared dinner.
We didn't even complain anymore. Really. You just sort of give in to the Anko Crazy if you want to live. Besides we'd try and steal from the supplies she brought in the middle of our watch which was her real test, those who were motivated from hunger tried to do better and all. As much as this annoyed me, well that may be the blood rushing to my head, I couldn't really get mad at our sensei. She was a messed up kid, and we did respect her. We even got that her form of screwed up tough love was probably half Orochimaru's fault and how she'd learned and she wasn't that old. She just simply did not know how to handle us.
So we ended up hungry and stealing from our instructor a few meals at a time, and hanging upside down or running and dodging more often than not. It stunk, it was miserable, but even my loud Inuzuka teammate could see where someday in the future this would help and that our sensei was a broken woman doing her best with a team she never thought she'd have.
Because then she'd do little things like teaching us jutsu we shouldn't know yet, showing us poisons and antidotes -tested on us of course and we just would ro-sham-bo for who would be the guinea pig that time- and was pretty hands on with making certain our 'boss' of the week was one that could help us with areas we needed work. Like the staff? Yeah, not my method but entirely one that was going to be good for Sei. Dai was in need of just hand to hand and dodge training and she was still ensuring we got a good all round exposure to different weapons and methods.
Anko may be crazy and messed up but she was probably, honestly, the best teacher for it. Because she didn't hesitate to black mail and coerce experts for her team.
That doesn't sound right but you know what I mean.
So if for three days when not running, dodging, dispelling genjutsu and being exposed to varying levels of Killing Intent we were essentially doing all the work so Anko could enjoy herself without her village judging her for being the student and victim of a man that same village had assigned her too?
Yeah. All three of us plus the dogs and kikaichu were willing to do that. She was weird. She was broken. But she was OURS.
"Our sensei is freaking nuts." Dai muttered once as we tried to catch fish, Sei so far having the most luck if Dai herded them towards the Aburame so they could strike and my gathering them; and I was having flashbacks to the Evil Hyuuga Koi. I think I'll permanently chakra stick to wet rocks now after playing Koi-Pond-Tag so many times with Kou over the years. "But she's the good kind of crazy."
"Indeed. Sensei is invested in making certain we are under no illusions of what our future careers herald, whilst doing her best to give us the tools to handle such a future." Sei nodded before twisting their fingers just so and another fish went flying through the air, it was my job to catch them. I was practicing spearing them and then reeling them in with chakra threads, something Anko thought I needed to work on. I'm not sure why but I figured anyone who got the attention of someone as nuttily brilliant as Orochimaru for their apprentice had to have a unique method of thinking. It was like being trained by Moriarty's right hand man I guess, or apprentice.
"Plus, you think anyone else would let us try the jutsu's she's taught us and tell us when we woke up we had to learn our limits somehow?" I agreed. They just grunted but I knew, because I had been hitting that just shy of exhaustion point with Ko for a while now and Anko thought it was normal. Her sensei had to have thought so too. Which while a really weird thought just says I'm not that far off with my theory. Fine. Orochimaru will return at some point, we may even be taking our exams then, I'm going to ensure I'm ready to survive what is coming and that means taking what Anko dishes out. Though I had not expected my insect loving and canine mimicking teammates to grab that from me it seems rather than Neji and Ten-ten's tolerance for Lee and I in our ways, my own teammates were getting on the if you can't beat them, join them band wagon.
It may break both their clans but they'd be good for them in the end.
"think twelve fish is enough?" Dai asked calmly and Sei sighed.
"For Anko-sensei perhaps, I would like to eat."
"Right."
The three of us shared a grin, well the buzzing from Sei was as good as announcing they were smiling, because everything we'd done till now with Anko as our sensei had certainly helped us bond as a group. Really when you think about it, in just a few months we'd learned to blackmail, trained together, helped troll lots of Jounin's on behalf of our sensei, learned several jutsu's that were common but we were still ahead of our peers for, and each of us had a few jutsu's in our respective categories that we knew we couldn't handle yet.
Oh man I could not wait to use some of those genjutsu I'd been put through on others. One of the Boss's we'd been stuck with had gone over many uses of the one that made it feel like soemthing was crawling on me and even helped steer me into figuring out that in battle I could use it to both dull my own pain, or increase the sensation of wounds for an enemy. Seems a small thing but most fights were not going to be the sort that had massive chakra weilding opponents. The reality was most of my battles for many years would likely be either those weaker than myself in groups, bandits, or chunnin so sometimes it was clever uses of small things that could be of far more use than enourmous jutsu's. Especially if we were trying to you know, be sneaky or silent.
Tracking and infiltration was clearly what our rag tag group was starting to be formed into. The accidental team that should have never happened.
For the record despite how loud I am I do know how to focus with Lee-clan intensity on a mission and that paired with Sei seems to have helped tone down Dai. Dai was a very capable kid in his own way he had just learned that being loud and brash was the best way to try and fight for a spot amongst his own clan yearmates. With us just being so different he was not so much mellowing as becoming more the watchful guarddog instead of a yappy thing. His dogs seemed to enjoy this just as much, or perhaps that was because Sei could put a few special bugs on them to ensure they never got fleas and I was always handing out belly rubs?
Whatever the reason, for just a small moment there by the stream catching fish, we relaxed and let our guard down.
Anko-sensei had been waiting for that apparently.
We were dodging senbon and kunai that came at us all at once rendering dodging nearly impossible. The only recourse to turn and deflect.
"Darn it Anko-sensei! That's dinner you're gonna ruin!" Dai yelped and the onslaught stopped.
"And what did we learn, my minion-spawns?" Came Anko's sing song voice. Sighing we answered together, even the dogs whining to show they understood the lesson.
"Never let your guard down in enemy territory, Anko-sensei."
"Very good brats! Now, get back to making me dinner. I'm hungry." Anko chirped at us and calmly walked down the tree and away, making the three of us grin at each other. Because she'd not said to gather and return the weapons, she did this some times. If we gathered them we could keep them. That meant she was happy with how we responded, short as it was, to her surprise attack.
"Anko-sensei is surprisingly considerate. No one would believe us." Sei chuckled faintly. "We are most lucky."
Yeah, we were.